daddy's little dead girl
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Joined 08-11-09, id: 2043469, Profile Updated: 11-04-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hiya peeps. moi name darcie i (L) twilight n vampires and all things emo and goth.

moi fave bands are: rise against, fall out boy, my chemical romance, muse, green day, evanescence ,paramore ,lacuna coil, alice in chains and H.I.M.

here is one of moi favourite songs:

Paramore-Misery Bisness:

i'm in the bisness of missery,

lets take it from the top.

she's got a body like a hourglass thats ticking like a clock.

it's a matter of time before we all run out,

when i thought he was mine she caught by the mouth.

i waited eight long months,

she finally set him free.

i told him i can't lie he was the only one for me.

two weeks and we had caught on fire,

shes got it out for me,

but i wear the biggest smile.

chorus

whoa, i never meant to brag

but, i got him where i want him now.

whoa, it was never my intention to brag

to steal it all away from you now.

but god does it feel so good,

cause i got him where i want him now.

and if you could then you know you would.

cause god it just feels so...

it just feels so good.

sewcond chances never matter people never change.

once a whore your nothimg more, i'm sorry, that'll never change.

and about forgivness, we're supposed to have exchanged,

i'm sorry honey, but i'm passing up, now look this way.

well theres a million other girls who do it just like you.

looking as innocent as possible to get to who,

they want and what they get like it's easy if you do it right.

well i refuse, i refuse, i refuse!

chorus

whoa, i never meant to brag

but, i got him where i want him now.

whoa, it was never my intention to brag

to steal it all away from you now.

but god does it feel so good,

cause i got him where i want him now.

and if you could then you know you would.

cause god it just feels so...

it just feels so good.

i watched his wildest dreams come true

not one of them involving you

just watch my wildist dreams come true

not one of them involving.

whoa, i never ment to brag, but i got him where i want him now.

chorus

whoa, i never meant to brag

but, i got him where i want him now.

whoa, it was never my intention to brag

to steal it all away from you now.

but god does it feel so good,

cause i got him where i want him now.

and if you could then you know you would.

cause god it just feels so...

it just feels so good.

whoooooooo i (L) Paramore n that song but not as much as Decode and Chrush,Chrush,Chrush!

Messages to the World

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

BOLD the ones that apply to you then copy and paste this to your profile!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social
.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I DRINK at parties, so I MUST be an irresponsible alcoholic.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

Heres a short story that I wrote thats been publish so dont copy cause its copywrited.

I didb't see it coming.

I stepped out into the road.

Bam it hit me.

I fell down to ground.

Aa sharp pain sureged through my body.

When I woke up I was in a dark that had the foul stench of death.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You are in hell." The voice whispered to me.

hope you liked it!!

A Twilight Survey:

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Hmmm I would have to say... eclipse.

How long did it take you to read the books?

Twilight about three weeks .New Moon about two weeks . Eclipse about 5 days. Breaking Dawn haven't read it yet cause my dada wont let me!!

Who introduced you to the books?

My friend she started to tell me at guides about it then I liked the sound of them so I bought them.

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

I bought Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse toghther and me and my friends are still thinking of ways for me to read Breaking Dawn.

What's your dream ending to the series?

Hmmm for Bella to become a vampire duh.

Who is your favourite character?

Edward

Who's your favourite vampire?

Jasper

Who is your favourite werewolf?

Jacob

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

Them being together after meeting the volturi in New Moon

What was your favourite Bella and Jacob moment?

When they were in the garage redoing up the bikes.

How about your favourite Bella and Alice moment?

When Alice takes bella captive in eclipse when edward is away hunting.

What was your favourite adventure/battle?

Bella running awy from Alice and Jasper in the airport.

Which book cover was your favourite?

Hmmmm New Moon.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Hale yes, they the best books ever.

Twilight or New Moon?

New Moon because of the romeo and juliet feel.

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse duh

Eclipse or Twilight?

There both great.

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward, Bella fell in love with him first.

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward.

Bella or Jacob?

Bella.

Bella or Alice?

Alice.

Alice or Jacob?

Jacob.

Rosalie or Alice?

Rosalie

Jasper or Alice?

Jasper!

Jasper or Edward?

Jasper!!

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle.

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmett.

Emmett or Jacob?

Rosalie

Esme or Charlie?

Esme.

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle.

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie.

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Ummm

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria.

Werewolves or Vampires?

Vampires - Obviously. Because there sparkely.

How did you first find out about the movie?

Bebo was advertising it.

Are you excited?

Hale yes I was excited, but now I'm excited for... NEW MOON wooo.

What do you think of the casting so far?

Perfect event though I'm pretty pissed that their replacing the person who plays Victoria with someone else.

Are you going to go see it?

Already Have like a billion time!

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

Jasper- Because he is sooo awsum and misunderstood.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be grantend

www.myspace.com/507183857

This is my myspace profile! :)

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Fallen Angel by Edwardsfallenangel reviews
After being bullied by the Cullen's and Hale's for years Bella leaves and becomes a famous model. But now shes back, what will the group think of what they think is the new girl and what will Edward think of her payback. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 61,231 - Reviews: 3005 - Favs: 2,200 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 5/6/2009
Renesmee is that blood? by Misslittlepinkbag reviews
Renesmee is on the prowl and can't wait to sink her teeth into the Volturi. Will she cross the line and kill them?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 87 - Words: 121,461 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob
Classic Cullen Moments by Sarahgotbored reviews
(Discontinued. Only reason this hasn't been deleted is because I'm a sentimental freak and like to look back on things I wrote when I was 13. Quite frankly it's awful, Stay away!)
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 58 - Words: 52,818 - Reviews: 1316 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Complete
Desperation by sweetishbubble reviews
What would happen if Jasper got to Bella in New Moon at her birthday party? **NOTE: THIS STORY IS CO-WRITTEN WITH LEESAM** Discussed on Twific Podcast 5/18/10
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,297 - Reviews: 567 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 10/13/2011 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
15 Things To Do At Walmart Cullen Style by twilighters-anonymous reviews
Ever get those annoying, yet funny chain e-mails that say stuff like “15 Things To Do At Walmart”? This is what happens when Bella gets one and decides to enlist the Cullens to help her actually do them!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,843 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Glee Club Chronicles by randomsillycullen reviews
Bella is a shy girl with an amazing voice in the glee club. Edward Cullen is the perfect guy she has a crush on. What happens when Edward joins glee? Will he finally notice Bella? Tell me if i should continue.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,741 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 5/30/2011 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Bella, Edward
Fighting Temptation by Dobber17 reviews
Classmates Bella, Edward, Mike, and Tyler are invited to a basketball clinic in Seattle for 2 weeks. Bella is sharing a hotel room with the guys. What happens? Truth or dare, streaking, injuries, jealousy, and a growing attraction between Edward and Bella. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 73,441 - Reviews: 3257 - Favs: 2,079 - Follows: 1,255 - Updated: 4/29/2011 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete
When Emmett Gets Bored by mythicalcreatures428 reviews
Emmett gets bored and asks Bella some questions in front of the Cullens. CONTINUED!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,516 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 4/1/2011 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Emmett, Bella
How to annoy the Twilight Characters by lovetwilight2 reviews
Pretty much self-explainatory-SIXTY ways to annoy them!Yeah,that's right,sixty. Last chapter is UP!WARNING:THINGS WILL GET STRANGE AND KIND OF MEAN.READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.not sutible for young children.Read and REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,029 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Chipmunk Cullen by SpiderMonkey92 reviews
Emmett thinks he's a chipmunk and he tries to persuade the rest of his family! Will any of the Cullens discover theri animal side? Read to find out......x.x.x
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,587 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 6/16/2009
Things a Vampire Can’t Do by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
A series of VERY FUNNY one-shots of things our favorite vampires can't do. Set in Eclipse. Brought to you by JasperSAYSrelax128 writer of "Oops, he did it again!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Complete
The Good Left Undone by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to "Player Haters". Bella and the Cullens are starting college, and having the time of their lives......until students start to go missing. Will Bella's past have anything to do with it? ALL HUMAN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,062 - Reviews: 1328 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Complete
The Black Parade by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, to see a marching band. He said, "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?" He said "Because one day I'll leave you, to join the Black Parade." fullsum
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 21,155 - Reviews: 806 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Edward, Bella
Seeing Crimson by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella was kidnapped by the Volturi in Eclipse, and now she's a vampire with no memory of her human life and so powerful she can kill any. What happens when her new assignment is to recrute a certain mindreader and future seeing vampire?FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,615 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/10/2009
Player Haters by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Edward and Bella have been bickering since kindergarten. He's a player, and she is his sister's best friend. What happens when they discover their true feelings for each other, right before it all ends? ALL HUMAN! FUNNY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,549 - Reviews: 907 - Favs: 640 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Paradise Lost by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to My Black Dahlia. Bella has been broken, hurt, pained, lied to...but now, she’s trapped. As a result of her transformation being corrupted by an unknown source, Bella’s powers were catapulted into chaos—trapping her in mirrors.FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,640 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3127 - Favs: 1,748 - Follows: 574 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
My Black Dahlia by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she became a drug/cutting addict. She is sent to Rehab, but what if her doctor, who is supposed to help her get better, is the reason she's there? Will she except help from Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 31,571 - Reviews: 1059 - Favs: 403 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Misguided Ghosts by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
He was the most caring, wonderful, loving boyfriend anyone could have...until he turned into a vampire. Now my only hope of escaping....is if I die. "Would someone care to clissify? a broken heart and twisted minds, so I can find someone to rely on."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
It All Started With a Comment by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to "Oops, he did it Again!" Funny One-shots of crazy, hilarious, insanely awesome incidents that all started...with a comment. All Vampire, no Renemesmee, Wolves may show up later.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,328 - Reviews: 733 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/11/2009
I Know I'll Wake Soon by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Two-shot about when Alice and Bella race to save Edward in Volterra. Bella is ordered to die, and Edward and Alice protect her, and end up dying in front of her. Will there be an afterlife after all?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,583 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hunger by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
My version of the next book. Shelby wants revenge. Shelby’s happy ending was corrupted when Grace came into the picture, now Grace’s ending will be destroyed. While Grace tries to fight off Shelby, can she fight off the cold that once plagued Sam?
Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Grace, Sam
Feel Good Drag by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1279 - Favs: 797 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Don't Forget by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella was changed into a vampire in New Moon when searching for the meadow. Now she has a new family and awesome powers and moves back to Forks....and runs into a certain family. Will they get along? Pranks! REALLY funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,715 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Complete
Diaries of a Phoenix by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
I was brought back into this world by accident.....but I’m still here for a reason. My resurrection wasn’t expected.....but neither was my murder. Now I’m looking for them. I’m looking for my murderer.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,516 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 12/27/2009
ACTION! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Funny Takes...making fun of the Twilight MOVIE! HILARIOUS! Seriously....read if you want to laugh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,151 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/3/2009
A Lesson in Charades by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Don’t Forget SEQUEL. Bella is finally marrying Edward, until she is kidnapped before she makes it to the Altar by 4 vampires that take an interest in her. When Alice can’t SEE them, how will they save Bella in time before she is betrothed to another? AV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,307 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/13/2009
Ghostgirl: Hawthorne Nightmare by purplepenguin.jc reviews
How could anything happen after Charlotte? Why are things happening that shouldn't? Hawthorne is far from finished where dead kids are concerned!
Ghostgirl series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,805 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 8/11/2009
VampireOLantern: Cullen Family Halloween Special by Surviving Sheika reviews
Halloween at the Cullens. Insanity ensues as Alice tries to make the Cullen family and Bella live out the sterotypical American Halloween. With candy, toilet paper and lots of eggs. *Warning: This story is all nonsense. Not for weak hearted* Rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 62,116 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 7/18/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Getting Kicked Out Of Wal Mart by readinangel reviews
When Alice get an email about what not to do in Wal Mart, she decides she wants to test them out. She brings Em, Ed, Bell, Rose, and Jazz along, and it results in choas! Warning: you will laugh. Characters mostly in cannon!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 20,835 - Reviews: 1311 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
Emmett's 16 fun things to do in an elevator! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Emmett discovers a list so magical, he beleives it was created by unicorns! He must complete this list! 16 days, 16 fun things to do in an elevator. What could go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 31,469 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Twilight On Crack by purple-panda95 reviews
What happens when vampires get drunk/high? Read to find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 19,208 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 5/4/2009
Crescent Moon by Tellytubby101 reviews
Bella is a half-immortal with a secretive past that haunts her still. She has to keep an eye out for the dangerous burning flame on the horizon. The Cullens are still vampires, but they don't know what Bella is... Or what she's capable of. AU. A bit OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 118,412 - Reviews: 943 - Favs: 797 - Follows: 668 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Bet by Giselle2013 reviews
Alice and Edward have made a bet. Edward isn't allowed to touch Bella. Alice isn't allowed to go shopping. This story is filled with outrageous costumes, scheming vampires, bra's, and...strip clubs?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,981 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009
Isabella Ice Angel by Midnight Chaser reviews
Edward left Bella and Victoria changed her.Laurent becomes her big brother.After making her own coven she cames back to Forks after 20 years to meet the Cullens. Will Edward be forgiven and melt Bella's heart of ice or will a new battle tear them apart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 96,248 - Reviews: 775 - Favs: 975 - Follows: 518 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward's Hate Letters by Hockey-Girl32 reviews
Bella discovers the hate letters that Edward has written to various residents of Forks, but has never sent. What does Edward really think of Bella's friends, of her father? Hilarious and utterly out of control! E/B Contains bad language. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,838 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Edward, Bella
Corrupting Bella by Emmett's-Luver reviews
What do Jasper, Bella, and Emmett do when everyone else is out hunting? Emmett desperately wants to corrupt his baby sister. All vampire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,248 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Irony? by dsmldejection reviews
The Volturi grows impatient and captures Bella to change her themselves. And when Aro becomes irritated with the new Bella, how will she have to suffer? Unexpected and very interesting! A good read, mature for safety! After New Moon and before Eclipse
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,289 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Bella, Felix
The Cullens Halloween by vampiregurl97 reviews
The Cullens decide to go to the Halloween dance and on the countdown to the day of the dance they cook, play truth or dare, and even have fun with Bella's human freinds! Will disaster occur? Hopefully, very funny. NOT one-shot! T because of some language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 28,412 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A Tortured Death Is Her Destiny by TrueLoveSparklesOrBurns reviews
she had the perfect family, natural disasters caused younge bella to fall in the hands of the abusive foster parents. the vampire foster parents. will the mysterious family at school help, or is a tortured death her destiny? x canon pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,737 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Truth or DareCullen Style! by fullhousegrl22 reviews
So Bella is left alone with Jasper and Emmett while everyone is away. Will J/A and EM/R relationships break apart or grow stronger? And will Edwards and Bella relationship grow stronger? R&R for more chapters! Better than the summary!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,280 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Jasper, Emmett
Prank Wars by Surviving Sheika reviews
April Fool's Day with the Cullens? TAKE COVER! Who will survive this war? Who will emerge victorious? Certainly none of these characters. Rated T for mischief and bad ideas.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,046 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Complete
Finding Family by LAoR reviews
1863: When Bella's older brother Jasper goes missing in the war, she sneaks onto the war-front to find her brother but is attacked, bitten & forced to move on. 2006: She moves to Forks, WA to find not only Jasper, but the gorgeous Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,317 - Reviews: 937 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 767 - Updated: 11/2/2009 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Couple Events by blobbyblobblob
I'm an 18 year old girl, who is love with a vampire. And he has a crazy brother who thought of the couple events... Now my boyfriend wants them to happen...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 498 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 10/7/2009
Strange Love by TwilightFreak xD reviews
i'm Bella Swan i idn't know what was wrong with me until i went to my friends house and got in a fight and found out for myself.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Isabella Volturi by TwilightFreak xD reviews
I was on a vacation with my friends when we went on a "volturi tour" I watched as my friends died right in front of my eyes.I wasn't killed they changed me into a vampire.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 409 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
Game Night With The Cullens by ThatObsessiveFan reviews
Well basically its Emmetts bored so they have a game night. Trouble pursues quickly and secrets are told! In Progress
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,957 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Emmett
Believing is Seeing by Lord Rebecca-sama reviews
The Cullens go to Hogwarts and the Volturi have teamed up with Death Eaters in their quest to recruit the Cullens. The Trio and Draco repeat their 7th year and aid the Cullens. DISCONTINUED.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 56,873 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Bella - Complete
Center of Blogging for Magical Persons by Shipper Friendly reviews
Dumbledore opens a blog. Things get a LITTLE chaotic as the blog spreads odd rumors and develops unusual friendships. OOC in some places, especially with Dumbledore. Let's see what this blog is about anyways...NOW COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 17,418 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/12/2009 - Published: 6/1/2009 - Albus D. - Complete
truthordare: sing yo booty off edition by randomsillycullen reviews
emmett makes up a game, each of the family members get dared to sing a song....but what songs will they sing? oh and nessie keeps wondering what a disco stick is...michael jackson hanging with harry potter....and alice having an evil spas...read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,897 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Emmett
Good Heavens, Carlisle! by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
Clueless Carlisle finally begins to discover the secrets his family has been hiding after revealing one of his own. WARNING do not read while drinking anything that may cause choking because of laughter.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Carlisle, Felix - Complete
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2137 - Favs: 3,560 - Follows: 1,659 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Keep Away with the Cullens by piratehannelore reviews
Edward's on edge. Emmett and Jasper can't handle it. So they decide to give Edward a taste of his own medicine...with a game of keep away...with Bella as the prize. What happens when the rest of the family joins in? Reviews please. T for mild language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 31,272 - Reviews: 860 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Complete
Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 33,338 - Reviews: 1824 - Favs: 1,026 - Follows: 500 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Scully in Silly Socks by Oneturtledove reviews
Little snippets of a day together.
X-Files - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,483 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2009 - D. Scully, F. Mulder - Complete
How To Kill Annoying Vamps, Part I by Princess Schatje Dreamer reviews
Next in the 'How To Kill' series, this time, it's Aro's turn. I think the title is pretty self explanitory, and its short, so give it a try. Thanks to Momonster for inspiration and help :3
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,612 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Aro - Complete
Forgotten Love by Jaspers Naughty2Shoes reviews
In 1918 Isabella Swan met and fell in love with Edward Masen. When the Spanish flu hit Chicago it tore they're love apart. She becomes an immortal and find one another once more,will they remember what they once had? What happens when the Volturri step in
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 35,281 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 7/13/2009 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
One For The Money by readinangel reviews
What would you do for a million dollars? Enter the Rat Race, with six contestants racing halfway across the country for their chance to hit it big. Lie, Cheat, Steal, all for the prize. Roll the Dice. Play the Game. And Win, no matter the cost... AU, AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,694 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009
Getting Kicked Out Of A Fair by readinangel reviews
Sequel to GKOOWM, Alice finds another list... oh no. Join Al, Em, Ed, Bell, Jazz, and Rose as the encounter flirty belly dancers, freedom seeking Elephants, and a monkey named cat! Humorous fun, watch as chaos comes once again!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,838 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 5/4/2009
Crazy Returns by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
Sequel to my story Crazy, Bella goes nuts at a baseball game thanks to Alice, after BD.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 798 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/14/2009
Chick Fight by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
Rosalie and Alice get in a fight, and start throwing random comee-backs at eachother. Hilarity ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 483 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Complete
MakeUp sleep by Giselle2013 reviews
Lets just say never fall asleep in the Cullen house. Sorry bad summary and my first story! All human.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The List by Dobber17 reviews
Tampons, lingerie, red rover, cart races, and Batman. Throw in some embarrassment, humiliation and a geeky worker named Winston. Buckle your seal belts everyone; you're in for a fun night at Wal-Mart.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,350 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/9/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Complete
Sweet Revenge by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
This is a branch from my story Jasper Just Wants To Have Fun. Rosalie and Edward get revenge on Jasper and Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Published: 6/2/2009
Hot Sauce by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
Edward and Rosalie pull a prank on Jazz, involving hot sauce. My summary's suck I know, the story's way better.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Complete
Jasper Just Want's To Have Fun by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
Jasper gets revenge on Edward and Rosalie, Bella helps. Rated T, no lemons.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 683 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/1/2009
Blog of ONLY the Cullens by Shipper Friendly reviews
Carlisle starts a blog. This is the blog.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 14,940 - Reviews: 716 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Complete
Ways To Piss Off Emmett Cullen by Crazy Twilight Lover reviews
Basically what the title says. Alice finds ways to tick off her brother to the point that he loses his sanity. What will the evil pixie do next to poor, unsuspecting Emmett? Rated T for safety. Hiatus
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,928 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Alice, Emmett
Rosalie Gone Wrong by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
A story about Rose singing a funny song, and running over Mikes cat. It's a backgroung story for The Cullen's Can't Do List, which I wrote. I stink at summaries just read the story.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 749 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/18/2009
The Cullen's Can't Do List by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
A story from Jasper's POV, he writes everyone a can't do list, but not one for himself, so Alice takes charge. I stink at summary's please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Complete
Taking Bella Hunting by mythicalcreatures428 reviews
Emmett and Jasper take Bella hunting. Takes place in Twilight after Bella finds out what Edward and his family are.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
the emo who goes to rehab hehe by emoellie42396 reviews
Bella swan is an anorexic emo whos parents send to rehab. when she meets Alice emmett rosalie edward and jasper there will she make true friends and maybe even bloom feelings for edward? EXB JXA EMXR
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,392 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
Distractions by Chasing.Twilight reviews
Since he came, she's always distracted.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,842 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 607 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
30 Ways to Annoy Jasper, Alice, and Emmett by LivLifeForever reviews
title is pretty self-explanitory. 20 sure fire ways to annoy the hell out of Jasper Hale and his lovely Miss Alice Cullen. **NEW CAHPTER**- Big Bro Emmett Cullen gets his share of the Fun** Rated T for some implied stuff later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Jasper, Alice
Emmett Eats A Bomb! by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Bella & Emmett have a dare competition....Bella leaves Edward an abusive voicemail....Emmett eats a bomb! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,553 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/6/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
High Heels and Runaway Frisbees by enamors reviews
Bella shares a very passionate and public kiss with a handsome, bronze haired stranger. Edward/Bella AU/AH one shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,102 - Reviews: 5270 - Favs: 4,797 - Follows: 4,123 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
MSN by Stephaniiie reviews
Basically an MSN conversation between Bella and the Cullens. I know that there are others similar to this already on the site, but this is my own work. Please R&R. Spoilers for breaking dawn. Rating may change.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,403 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 2/27/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009
A random ride home by urmyedwardcullen reviews
oneshot edward, bella, and emmett coming home from playing baseball. what could happen to make charlie mad.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,630 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Suicide Lane Café by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Bella did jump off the cliff to commit suicide and she succeeded, which made Edward go to the Italy to commit a vampire suicide. A different take on the afterlife. Edward and Bella fluff. Corny summary, I know. New Moon AU. ONE-SHOT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,746 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 88 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Emmett goes to rehab by AnmlLvr reviews
Bella finally snaps over one of Emmett's 'jokes about her personal life.' She plans revenge, by sending Emmett to a rehab facility for his 'obsessive behavior.' One-shot. R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
New Year's Eve by Jenna Nevermore reviews
Bella's alone at home during New Year's Eve. Who will come to cheer her up? One Shot. All Human. BXE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,699 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 23 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Road Trip With The Cullens by ILoveEdwardCullen110 reviews
What Happens when The Cullens go on a road trip? Where are they going? And What will happen on the way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,568 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 10/7/2008
10 Ways to annoy Jasper Hale by ILoveEdwardCullen110 reviews
What the Title says
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/9/2008 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Complete
You Wish! by BCookkiieee reviews
Baseball with the Cullens.... and Rosalie and Edward are the team captains. SPOILERS FOR BREAKING DAWN! EmXR Please R&R! Rated T for some language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
No PDA by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
PDA Public Display of Affection in school is fun! :D BXE One-shot Takes place at the end of Twilight. :D
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Complete
A Lesson About Conditioner by Shipper Friendly reviews
Bella forgets conditioner, so she has to go get it off the shelf! And she's wet! ONE-SHOT This is the one time where I can't write a summary for this story, so it's better than it sounds!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Bella - Complete
Oh! The Horror! by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Post Twilight. Edward and Bella watch a horror movie together. Fluffy! One-shot. BXE Happy Halloween!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,860 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 50 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Vampire Girl by eyesofevergreen reviews
B/E When Charlie finds Edward in Bella's room, Bella is sent to live with her mother. So what happens when the Volturi decide to go vegitarian and announce the existance of vampires to the world? Vampire safety 101 as a part of the highschool curriculum.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,458 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 9/15/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Happy Crack Time with the Cullens by we love panic at the disco reviews
the cullens are all CRACKHEADS. but we luv them anyways! random happenings, crazy situations, and a few twists and turns along the way. we dont own twilight or the characters. we happily accept any suggestions or ideas! just send them in a review please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,726 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/23/2008 - Published: 4/15/2008
Poison Hath Been Thou's Timeless End by eyesofevergreen reviews
An experiment with crossovers. Isabella Capulet's family hold and ancient grudge against the house of Montague. No surprise, really, because the Capulets have some werewolf in their family, and the Montagues are vampires. So what happens when B and E meet
Crossover - Shakespeare & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,651 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Bella
Sex And Vampires by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
The summary is NOT fanfiction appropriate. You'll have to read it in the first chapter. This is the long awaited replacement for When Life Gives You Lemons - not a sequel or a rewrite. BXE Filled with lemony goodness and a plot. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,605 - Reviews: 1656 - Favs: 1,333 - Follows: 832 - Updated: 8/9/2008 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
Picking Charlie's Brain by vjgm reviews
It is Post Breaking Dawn, and Bella is changed, and married to Edward. Charlie finds out that Bella is a vampire, but no one believes him. They take him to the hospital and put him under the care of the skilled Dr. Dover! Fun ensues :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,413 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 403 - Follows: 107 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Charlie S. - Complete
Prank Calls by eyesofevergreen reviews
Companion peice to my story "Vampire Girl" What do the Cullen boys do when everyone is out hunting and they get bored. They prank call the unsuspecting members of the Volturi. Who said Aro was the only one they called?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/30/2008
You May Now Kiss the Bride by vjgm reviews
This is my version of the wedding starring then minister, Emmett Cullen. With Emmett in charge, you know that humor will be involved. How does Emmett handle this important job? Will he behave? Or will Bella and Edward kill him? ONESHOT of SILLINESS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 613 - Favs: 1,249 - Follows: 194 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Emmett
Bella's dream by TwiMetalAlcheDemon reviews
Bella has a strange dream…. Beware… this story includes scary night talking, Jacob wearing a wolf suit, Jacob turning into a Chihuahua, Emmett’s crazy ideas, and a vampire Pineapple! I hope its better than it sounds! Please read….
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Set Fire To The Third Bar by Chasing.Twilight reviews
an alternate ending in Italy.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,164 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pregnant Vampire Bella Joins the Army by MarcyJ reviews
The ultimate combination of horrific AU plotlines. Cowritten with the hilarious lindaroo! We are writing this a breakneck speed, so look for updates often!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,505 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 6/21/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008
Ending The Agony by Chasing.Twilight reviews
I hoped whatever met me in the next life was tortuous and enough to make me pay for what I had done; enough to pay for not saving him. /you work out the POV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 978 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Complete
Brian and Betsy by Chasing.Twilight reviews
“Appreciation is fine Bella” he said, running his hand through his hair roughly “but calling it Brian is taking things to another level!”
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
An Irrevocable Fate by Chasing.Twilight reviews
Just after Edward leaves, Bella is bitten; it is a terrible twist of fate that will toss two existences closer then they ever should be. UNLIKE OTHER "EDWARD LEAVES" FICS. full summary inside. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 482 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Set Up by Chasing.Twilight reviews
From Lauren's perspective. "Oh, please do stay Bella; I’ll show you what the boys of Forks really think of you!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,909 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Lauren, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8402 - Favs: 7,581 - Follows: 1,752 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
That Darn Emmett by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Bella and Emmett are stuck in the police station because Emmett came with the bright idea of getting Bella drunk at a bar. Short series! NOT AN EMMETT AND BELLA LOVE STORY! Very funny Rated for language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,315 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 464 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 5/7/2008
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,076 - Follows: 300 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Emmett Goes Emo by Zukaddy reviews
Emmett Goes Emo... nuff said... rated T just in case....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,200 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 11/1/2007 - Published: 9/19/2007 - Complete
Where's The Love? by MarcyJ reviews
Jasper Hale has been keeping a secret from his family. What happens when the truth comes out in the most accidental of ways?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,008 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 29 - Published: 7/5/2007 - Complete
Spinning Wheels by MarcyJ reviews
The Reflections of Billy Black. How does it feel to be so involved in the situation, yet so helpless to better it? This will be a series of oneshots from Billy's POV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,330 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 23 - Published: 4/22/2007
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The bitter ending reviews
What would have happend if Edward was to late to save Bella from James. Will she ever be able to forgive him for his fatal mistake? Eventualy B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,282 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/16/2010 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Bella, Edward
Nothing like sweet revenge reviews
One of Edwards old lovers comes back to plot sweet revenge on him and Bella. Enter Tanya Mason. My first FanFiction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Tanya, Edward - Complete
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