Age: What you think.
Sex: Love it!!!
Height: For me to know and for you to never find out.
Race: Back off you racists.
Likes: Animals, Video games, Tanks, Martial arts, Mangas, and Reading.
Favorite Anime Characters: Naruto, Hinata, Samui, Haku, Itachi, and the Konah corp.
Dislike: Murder, Rapist, Conartist, most art, Child abuse, and Racists people.
Hated Anime Charaters: Sasuke and Sakura.
School: Central High school.
Yo, dudes. Call me Fang. If you have a good story tell me.
NOTICE: I will be out of contact for at least half a year soon.
The Great Archives Record:
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381,Terror of the Azure Flame, RoyalTwinFang,
Raiton:Seiteki Ryoukin (Static charge)
Raiton:Seiteki Kaihou (Static release)Rank:C
Raiton:Joumae Oite (Lock on)
Raiton:Magunechikku Hitooshi Ryouiki (Magnetic push field)
Raiton:Tenka kougake (lighting gauntlet)
Genarate lighting charka from the fingers to shoulders. A great choice when use with taijutus, cause the oppent damage and stun.
Raiton:Tenka kuro-n (lighting clone)
Like the shadow clone, but gather more engrey as time past. When dispel, it will release the gathered engrey to do damage.
Raiton:Ketatamashii keta mori (Piercing beam lance)
A long distance justu that can pierce many defence or anything behind the target.
Shoot lighting out of the palm to hit multuble target, then the engrey will spepted to those that are around them, but to a lesser degree.
Raiton:Youbu hekireki otakebi (Lions thunder roar)
A sealed less sound attack. Gather lighting in the lungs to make the sound of thunder. When the nands are in combat, use this to cause the oppent(s) to go deft. (like when Naruto roars in the valley of the end to blow the fireball away)
Raiton:Genkeishitsu bakudan (Plasma bomb)
Gather lighting in the hand, then throw it. Expode to do damage but allow shock the nerve system.
Fūton:Teikiatsu ken toku (Cyclone blade shield)
Spin around to create a cyclone that the winds are sharp as blades. (you fill in the blanks)
Fūton:Kaze Ken (Wind blade)
Make wind on any part of the body to become sharp as a sword. Good for close combat.
Charka excire: Gather lighting on the feet then stand on a power wire to move along the wire.
As for weapons. Naruto should have the chain from Ninja Assassins. That he can trafer his lighting to or wind to make it all like a blade.
You may use these ideas but must give credit to me.
"Logic is the ultimate weapon." -
"Logic provides the structure to be filled by the soul of creativity." -
"Through stillness you will find truth."
"Do it with style or don't bother doing it." -
"I don't break rules, I just bend them - a lot." -
"You break it, I'll remake it." -
"Never do what your enemy expects you to do." -
"The least likely can be the most dangerous." -
"High tech circuitry is no replacement for guts." -
"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." -
"No sacrifice is too great in the service of freedom." -
"Observe everything, remember even more." -
"Who and what I am, I hide from my enemy." -
"Caution can never be overused." -
“Where there’s smoke, there’s me.” -
"Strike first, strike fast, strike hard." -
"Among mysteries of science lies the key to victory." -
"Clutch hitting is the key to an effective offense." -
"Flee before me or else you'll fall before me." -
"Too much information is never enough." -
"What the eyes don't see, the nose knows." -
"Every pictures tells a story." -
"The sounds of war are history speaking." -
"One's ultimate truth lies in one's molecular structure." -
"A look can be deceiving; a touch can be lethal." -
"Know the conflict within, before facing the conflict without." -
"Be unyielding as the ocean waves and your enemies shall fall." -
"Consistency is victory." -
"Only the fierce shall live." -
"A confused enemy is a defeated enemy." -
"Unyielding resolve has no conqueror." -
"Vigilance is the foundation on which victories are built." -
"Don’t look down, look straight ahead!" -
"Only by studying the past can we win the present." -
"If you look first, you may not leap." -
"I'm even better than I think." -
"When I'm flying, no enemy is safe - nor friend." -
"To live is to fight; to die is to stop." -
"When the smoke clears, I've cleared out." -
"There's a bad storm, brewing, and I'm it!" -
"Strength is more than physical." -
"My actions speak louder than my words." -
"Wisdom will always defeat firepower." -
"The faster it is, the better I like it." -
"I like the sea far away and my feet on the ground." -
"If used logically, madness makes a great weapon." -
"The thrill is in the journey." -
"War is a dirty business... and I'm as dirty as they come." -
"War is wherever I want it to be." -
"Two heads may be better than one (however, one head is definitely better than none)." -
"Among the winners, there is no room for the weak." -
"Fear can hit targets unreachable to bullets." -
"Looks are always deceiving." -
"Nobody wins a war - somebody loses." -
"I have ventured into the abyss - and survived." -
"Life should be as easy as hitting bullseyes." -
"Let actions speak for you." -
"Prepare for war, but strive for peace." -
"War is a dirty game... and I'm a dirty player!" -
"War is always a problem, never a solution." -
"You have to know where you are before you know what to do." -
"As long as one innocent being is threatened, none are truly free." -
"Believing in yourself improves your aim better than target practice." -
"Sow panic and surrender will bloom!" -
"Chaos is the seed of victory." -
"Kindness is no virtue ... and cruelty is no vice." -
"The mind is the greatest weapon." -
"Conquest is made of the ashes of one's enemies." -
"The deadliest weapon is terror." -
"No sacrifice, no victory."
Well, we could grind our enemies into powder with a sledgehammer, but gosh, we did that last night. - Xander
The differnce between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. -Albert Einstein
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god.
The waking have one world in common. Sleepers have each a private world of their own.
Love is destructive. If love does not shatter you, you know not love.
Evil never truly dies; it just festers and rots.
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
'For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her.' -Niccolò Machiavelli
Wit is cultured insolence. -Aristotle
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. -Socrates
There is only one evil-ignorance and one true good-knowledge- Socrates
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. -Tim Allen
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. -Albert Einstein
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams
"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. - Jonathan Swift
People say hate is a strong word, but so is love. And people throw it around like it's nothing. -Unknown
Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die. -F. Forrester Church
To let someone else understand meant to open them up to your own pain.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
The good die young but pricks live forever.
The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.
The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.
We all know God invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
The more you complain the longer god makes you live.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. -Chris Rock
The worst thing about war is that so many people enjoy it. -Ellen Glasgow
Humans are probably the most conflicted, complicated beings in the universe. They don't make any sense. I have never seen a race to inclined to destroy yet bound to show mercy. As I said, absolute madness. Nothing good can come from involvement with humanity.
The mistakes are all there waiting to be made.
Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
Common sence is the most uncommon thing in the world.
Fear is a good thing; it means you're paying attention.
Blind terror can easily pass as courage in a fight.
Never look back, never regret, never remember the people you've met, never begin and never end, never say never when it comes to a friend.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it...
A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
Having strength is one thing, knowing how to use it is another.
One should never give up till the end.
Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.
"He who knows not and knows not he knows not, He is a fool- Shun him. He who knows not and knows he knows not, He is simple- Teach him. He who knows and knows not he knows, He is asleep- Awaken him. He who knows and knows that he knows, He is wise- follow him." -Bruce Lee
"You see, among all men-those who value beauty, money, success, prestige-those of us who value love are the most dangerous of all. More than any others, we will compromise morals, ethics, our lives, and the lives of those around us-all for the sake of love."
To bring the ax down is easy; To wait for it to fall can pull your mind apart.
Night, Which brings the loneliness and the dark, Brings also dawn.
Silence is true wisdom's best reply. -Euripides
A room without books is like a body without a soul. -Cicero
Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. -Richard Bach
Life is a long lesson in humility. -James Barrie
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -Buddha
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out. -Anton Chekhov
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. -Emily Dickinson
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. -Quentin Crisp
If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X Y Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. -Albert Einstein
It is not length of life, but depth of life. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Millions long for immortality, but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. -Susan Ertz
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. -Harvey Fierstein
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. -Brendan Gill
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it. -Henry Ford
A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist. -Stewart Alsop
I'm not afraid of death; but dying scares the hell out of me. -Jack Cleary
Some people are so afraid do die that they never begin to live. -Henry Van Dyke
A jurt consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. -Robert Frost
Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people. -Kahlil Gibran
The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply. - Kahlil Gibran
Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. -John Muir
For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. -William Penn
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
Get your facts first. And then you can distort them as much as you please. -Mark Twain
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. -Napoleon Bonaparte
In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. -Aristotle
Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex. -Daniel S. Greenberg
Opourtunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas A. Edison
"Christianity : The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense." -Christopher Hitchens
There are no good days or bad days, just days of grace.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
A man wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package.
Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
Don't run, you'll only die tired.
Smile -- it confuses the enemy
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly.
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.
Toward no crime have men shown themselves so cold-bloodedly cruel as in punishing differences of belief. –James R. Lowell
Exile, for no other motive than ease, would be the last defeat, with no seed of future victory in it. –Lois McMaster Bujold
What you believe will depend very much on what you are. –Noah Porter
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'" -Isaac Asimov
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. -Isaac Asimov
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts." -Unknown
A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt
"Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy. And if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?" -Dr. Allison Cameron - House, M.D.
"Life with men is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards." -Unknown
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." -Nora Ephron
"No one dies a virgin, life screws us all." -Michael J. Trent
"Not all that wander are lost." -J.R.R. Tolkien
"You are only young once, but you can be immature forever." -Hannah Marks
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Winston Churchill
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. - Winston Churchill
Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. - Winston Churchill
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. - Winston Churchill
History is written by the victors. - Winston Churchill
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill
It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time. - Winston Churchill
It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary. - Winston Churchill
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill
The price of greatness is responsibility. - Winston Churchill
The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is. - Winston Churchill
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information. - Winston Churchill
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. - Winston Churchill
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. - Winston Churchill
We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival. - Winston Churchill
Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste death but once. -William Shakespeare, Julius Ceasar
As soon as one is born, one starts dying. -Luigi Pirandello, Henry
Dying is like coming to the end of a long novel--you only regret it if the ride was enjoyable and left you wanting more. -Jerome P. Crabb
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Nietzsch
"I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry." -Randall Jarrell
"Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business." -Henry David Thoreau
"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." -Randall Jarrell
"When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it." -Marie de Sevigne
"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none." -Jules Renard
"To read a book for the first time is to make the acquaintance of a new friend; to read it a second time is to meet an old one." -Selwyn Champion
"Turns out if you never lie, there's always someone mad at you." -Scott Westerfeld
"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic." -Doris Egan
"Not having fun tonight, Z? You look like someone's shit on your front lawn." -Wrath, Lover Enshrined
"I hate when you're right."
"Think of it this way. At least you won't have to worry about shaving your back as you get old, true? No manscaping for you." -Vishous, Lover Awakened
Butch: "You so need to lighten up about the potato-launcher incident.
Butch: -talking about Rhage's beast- "Can it get into the car?"
"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid." -Jack Sparrow, PotC
"If you wish to taste the ground feel free to attack me." -Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin
God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
"All I see in your sword is fear. If I dodge, I'm afraid of being hit. If I'm protecting someone, I'm afriad they'll die. If I attack, I'm afaid I'll cut them. There is no place for fear here. Do you see the resolve to cut you in my blade? If I dodge, I won't let you hit me. If I'm protecting someone, I won't let them die. If I'm attacking, I will cut you." -Urahara Kisuke, Bleach
"From the day I was born until the day I die, the only side I’m on is my own." -Genyjo Sanzo, Saiyuki
"I'm murdering you as soon as we're free." -Genjyo Sanzo, Saiyuki
"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." -Sir Richard Steele
"This is my phone... Tell Yuffie she has no right to reach this number..." -Vincent Valentine, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
"A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool." -Reno, Final Fantasy VII
"Shut up Elena. You're making me sober." Reno, Final Fantasy VII
"We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'." -Sohma Shigure, Fruits Basket
"Live long and prosper." -Spock, Star Trek
"Dammit, Jim!!" -Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, Star Trek
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Men are 44 percent muscle, 53 percent fat and 3 percent brain. This explains a lot of things.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.
If I won't be myself, who will?
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable in their apparent disclination to do so.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Do unto others before they do unto to you.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
A comfortable falsehood will always win out over an uncomfortable truth.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
--Theres two ways of life.
--I'm not artistic. I'm just really, really bored.--
"I am a great and sublime fool.
--Never mess with anything that can eat you in three bites or less.--
--You said something... Something stupid like love steals us from loneliness...--
--Life: bitter-sweet and full of unexpected surprise. Screw it up and I'll claw your eyes out!--
--If looks could kill, you'd be...uh...stop looking at me...:cough, cough...dies:--
--WARNING: I'm immature, uNoRgAnIzEd, irresponsible, lazy and LOUD...
...BUT I'M FUN!!--
--The measure of a man is what he does with power. - Plato--
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you ready?
"All power is the same. Magic. Physical strength. Economic strength. Political strength. It all serves a single purpose-it gives its possessor a broader spectrum of choices. It creates alternative courses of action." — Jim Butcher (Proven Guilty)
"Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories." Sun Tzu
"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away" Jack Handy
"We're now a quarter of an inch tall, and sixty four feet from the house. That's an equivalent of three-point-two miles. That's a long way. Even for a man of science." Nick Szalinski (Honey I Shrunk The Kids)
What do you want to do tonight Brain? ""The same thing we do every night Pinky, Try to take over the world!" Pinky & The Brain
Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them
"Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan" Jäger
"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain." Aristotle
"Knowledge is power, guard it well." Warhammer 40k, Dawn of War
"One should respect public opinion in so far as it is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny." - Bertrand Russell
"Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"
"Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." P.J. O'Rourke
"Diplomacy - the art of saying Nice doggie' 'til you can find a stick." - Wynn Catlin
"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn"
"Idle hands are the Devil's playthings."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."- Mark Twain
"I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code." -Emo Phillips
"Once you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow" - Lyndon B. Johnson
"The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." Johnny Depp
When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money". Susan Heller
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes." Douglas Adams
"And on the eighth day God said, 'Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!'"
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." Albert Einstein
"There's no such thing as fun for the whole family." Jerry Seinfeld
"War is hell and all that, but it has a good deal to recommend it. It wipes out all the small nuisances of peace-time." Ian Hay
It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on a Friday." American Proverb
"A Buddhist monk, visiting New York City for the first time in twenty years, walked up to a hot dog vendor, handed him a twenty dollar bill, and said, "Make me one with everything." The vendor pocketed the money, and handed the Buddhist monk his hot dog. The monk, after waiting for a moment, asked for his change. The vendor looked at him and said, "Change comes from within." With a wistful smile, the monk walked away."
"I am the hammer, I am the right hand of the Emperor, the instrument of His will, the gauntlet about His fist, the tip of His spear, the edge of His sword!" The Grey Knight, Warhammer 40k
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." Friedrich Nietzsche
"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can't get away from us now!"
Black Knight: None shall pass!
[Arthur points out the arm lying on the ground]
[With that, the Black Knight attacks Arthur again.]
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. Jack Handey
"I believe in benevolent dictatorship, provided I am the dictator" Richard Branson
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." A. Whitney Brown