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Joined 08-14-09, id: 2047596, Profile Updated: 04-02-11
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.

Hey, all! Just thought I should post a profile, while I have the time. A few things about me: I’m random. Or, as my bestie likes to put it, randumb and blonde. Sadly, it’s true. I like to read, obviously, and I love writing. It might take me a while to post something, which I’m sorry for, but I have about a million stories running through my head, some intertwining. Some are just plain weird (like the one where everyone @ Hogwarts, including the teachers, decide Snape should lighten up and then they pull millions of juvenile pranks on him), but hey! I just might post one.

Another thing: I will often forget to say this in my fics so I’m gonna say it now. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MAYBE MY OWN CHARACTERS THAT WILL RUN AROUND IN MY BRAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY!! Okay, better now. :-)

I will write anything from Harry Potter to Percy Jackson to W.I.T.C.H. If you don’t know what anyone those are, then what planet did you come from and can we arrange a meeting? I wanna tell my friends I’ve met an actual alien.

I will honestly try to post at least once a month, if not every two weeks. If you review, I’ll update more quickly (hint hint).

Also, thank you to any and all reviewers. I really do like to hear other people’s opinions on what I write, and ideas for pranks, fluffy scenes, etc. are totally welcome. I’ll definitely give you credit.

Another thing...I will probably mention people from school( Cody, Sarah, etc.), but don't pay attention to it. I just say it to annoy them, give them credit, or to use them for my evil schemes. Unfortunately, my last batch of Polyjuice ran out, so I can't use it to make them look like fools. Oh, well... They'll never find out about the Decongestion Draft in their drinks! Muahahahaha!

...Oops, was that my outside...inside...computer...okay, what do you call it when you're typing and you said something you shouldn't have said? Crap, oops, what!

I have a few favorite quotes, which are listed below. Some of them are kind of depressing, some are funny and some I have gotten from other people’s stories. I will try and give you credit if it’s yours, but I don’t have the best memory, so yeah… Tell me if it’s your quote and I’ll give you credit.


I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels, but I call them my friends

No one can drive you insane unless you give them the key.

There are so many people in the world that will tell you that you can’t. What you’ve got to do is turn around and say, “I can. Watch me.”

I called Joey gay and then he hit me with his purse. (By the way, this did actually happen...Long story.)

I don’t have ADD! I’m totally focus- SQUIRREL! (One of my friends, Megan, says this on a regular basis)

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder and scream "Can I have your iPod?"

Clothes may not make a man, but they can break a boyfriend.

It’s sad how life can so easily be destroyed. Just one wrong move, and you’re dead.

Caution: Blonde Thinking!

? (Literally, this is something I say on a regular basis. It confuses the hell out of people, but it is freakin’ hilarious!)

You’re such a homo-hobo-bum! - Courtesy of my good friend, Amber. Luv ya, honey!

SEVVY!! - For Sarah, since this is her usual greeting for me.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, has never tried to close a revolving door. And they can forget slamming it, too!

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.

May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.

Cute but evil. Things even out.

If you hit me at 30mph, there's an 80 chance I'll live. Hit me at 40mph, and there's an 80 chance I'll die...Please stop trying to hit me.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the heck am I doing,
Talking to you?

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people are just out of film. (I'm adding this part on 'cuz it's true for me) An some people need to have their batteries replaced!

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

God grant us the senility to forget the people you never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones you do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.

School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.

It's okay if you want to drop dead.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything.

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store.

Love me or hate me, personally, I couldn't care less.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The road to success is always under construction.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually they're pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help, I've fallen and I can't...Hey nice carpet! (In my case, nice tile!)

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese…Milk's leap toward immortality.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Someday my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy them by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away… if well aimed.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin. Heads, we’ll be together, tails, we'll flip again.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and Duck Tape the same? Both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic ... maybe we should have amateurs build everything.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?

Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in an asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy??

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them more than that.

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army: Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you - I might want to offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

I used to be normal…until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors and lived!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life.

Everyone has a wild side-my friends and I just prefer to make it public.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Love can come in many different colors.

What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.

I would say "screw you" but I think too many people already have.

I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we?

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

You're a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me beautiful,
What happened to you?

List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over.

If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.

Good friends will pick you up when your down, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh.
Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.
Good friends will bail you out of jail, BEST FRIENDS will be sitting right there next to you going, 'Damn, what did we do?'
Good friends will say you can do better. BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say “You have seven days to live.”
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you.
Good friends will help you move, BEST FRIENDS will help you move the body.
A best friend can look at you with a smile on your face and ask ‘What's wrong?’

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.

It takes forty-six muscles to frown, but only four to flip 'em the bird.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda.

I am the future of Britain. Be very, very afraid.

Even if the voices aren't real, they got some great ideas.

Sometimes I get the urge to run around naked . . . but then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking.

What not to say to the police: "You're not going to check the trunk, are you?"

Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

Some call it stalking; I call it love.

I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Nobody is worth crying over. And the ones who are won’t make you cry.

So put that straw in your juice box and suck it!

When the world says “Give up”, hope whispers “Just once more.”

A true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

You are my BEST FRIEND FOREVE - but no ‘R’ because that would be the end of ‘forever’.

Do it today. Tomorrow, it might be illegal.

Strangers have the best candy.

Drink coffee: Act stupider faster.

You’re just jealous that the voices only talk to me.

I hate it when the voices argue with my imaginary friends.

Forget princess; I want to be a vampire.

Don’t tell people your problems. 20 don’t care, and the other 80 are glad you have them.

List of things to do:

Get up.Survive.Go back to bed.

It takes skill to trip over a flat surface.

Put 100 into your work:

W 23 Monday

W 12 Tuesday

W 40 Wednesday

W 20 Thursday

W 5 Friday

There are 3 types of people in this world: The ones that make things happen, the ones that watch things happen and the ones that wonder what happened.

I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.

Don’t go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

I’m not shy; I’m just quietly plotting your demise.

People can only drive you crazy if you give them the keys.

Most people don’t put up walls to keep people out. They put them up to see who cares enough to knock them down.

There is only one way to fail and that is to believe you won’t succeed.

It takes courage to stand up and speak. It also takes courage to sit down and listen.

It takes courage to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.

I hear you. I’m just not listening.

I’m up and I’m dressed. What more do you want?

Don’t let your brain wander. It’s too little to be out on its own.

Hello. My name is: I know this one! It’s…ummm…

People often moan about our generation. But have they ever thought about who raised us?

Shut up, voices, or I’ll poke you with a Q-tip again!

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

The one thing that gives you the most pleasure in life is doing the things people say you can’t do.

Rules are made to be broken.

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the more you learn…What’s the point?

It is easier to secure forgiveness than permission.

I only listen to people I respect. I don’t respect you. Do you need a road map?

A blonde went up to her friend one day with her phone in her hand. “Hey, what’s ‘idk’ mean?’ She asked. “I don’t know.” Her friend replied. The blonde then looked at her and said, “OMG! No one knows!”

I used to fight my demons…Now we’re on the same side.

Come to the Dark Side…We have cookies.

A blonde was standing on the railroad tracks saying “52, 52, 52…” A brunette came up and asked. “Whatcha doin’?” “52, 52, 52…” “Can I join you?” “52, 52, 52…” “Okay!” The two girls stood on the railroad tracks saying ‘52’ when a train came along. The blonde stepped off the tracks. The brunette didn’t. When the train was gone, the blonde stepped back on the tracks and said, “53, 53, 53…”

Excerpts from Harry Potter:

Sorcerer's Stone:

"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

- Chamber of Secrets:

Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."

Hermione, however, clapped a hand to her forehead. "Harry -- I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!" And she sprinted away, up the stairs.
"What does she understand?" said Harry distractedly; still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
"Loads more than I do," said Ron, shaking his head.
"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does," said Ron, shrugging. "When in doubt, go to the library."

- Prisoner of Azkaban:

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.

Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help. It’s obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight."

Harry: It’s a letter from my godfather.

Vernon: Godfather? You haven’t got a godfather?

Harry: Yes, I have. He was my mum and dad’s best friend. He’s a convicted murderer but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though…keep up with my news…check if I’m happy…”

- Goblet of Fire:

Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret.
"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."

"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. 'According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me...' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."

- Order of the Phoenix

"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

"Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah...she said...progress will be prohibited or...well, it meant that...that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts."
"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate."

Dudley: "Mark Evans cheeked me."
Harry: "Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."

Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.

"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe -"
"That'll just depress them."
"- and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?"

- Half-Blood Prince:

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."

- Deathly Hallows:

“I was awake half the night thinking it all over, and I believe it’s a plot to get the house.”
“The house?” repeated Harry. “What house?”
“This house!” shrieked Uncle Vernon, the vein in his forehead starting to pulse. “Our house! House prices are skyrocketing around here! You want us out of the way and then you’re going to do a bit of hocus-pocus and before we know it the deeds will be in your name and—“
“Are you out of your mind?” demanded Harry. “A plot to get this house? Are you actually as stupid as you look?”

"Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!” said Hermione. “We didn’t hear stories like that when we were little, we heard ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and ‘Cinderella’—“
“What’s that, an illness?” asked Ron.


1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy.

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month."

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."

20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.)

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.

25) It’s not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I Apparate.

26) I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

34) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur.

35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself too seriously.

36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell.

37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort.

38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.)

39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say, "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess/handsome prince, we will be married immediately in a quiet, civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large, red button labeled, "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her family in the blink of an eye.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute, little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the alluring rebel and they claim they are attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray their companions if I just let them in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an adviser says to me, "My liege, he is but one person. What can one person possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the adviser.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!” I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisers ask, "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?" I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
"Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh . . . Then why do you keep crossing things out?"

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly. Do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


Nicknames for the Nicknamed - Sarah, this is for you. I had help from my crazy and super-scary friend Sarah. She got totally pissed at me when I forgot to mention that she helped me. PLEASE DON'T KILL MEEEEEEEEE!!

Inheritance - The new chapter is written, but I'm having trouble with my word processor. I can't get into the file to update it or do a last read through or anything. I probably need to update it, but it might take me a bit. I'll try to have it up by Sunday at the latest.

Riddle Me This - Ummm...This one is taking longer than I thought it would. Sorry. *winces and ducks miscellaneous flying things at her...shoe...tomato...rubber duck...photo album...car...-wait, what?!* Also, my word processor is weird. Read above if you want to hear my troubles with it.

Somebody to Lean On - A chapter is in the making, don't worry! I've just been focusing on Inheirtance 'cuz it's been awhile since I updated it. Thanks for being so patient, guys!

Someone's Watching Over Me - I'm thinking of discontinuing this one. It was a good idea when I started it, I'm sure, but now I have no clue what it was about...Sorry for those who were hoping I would continue. Maybe it'll come back to me and I'll update it, but not in the near future. So, as of 8/20/10, Somone's Watching Over Me is DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!!!!!!

All righty, then! That’s all! And before you ask, I’m country. My country westernish thingymajig…ACCENT! I so knew that. Anyways, it might pop up in my stories. Pie!


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and Future's Past by DriftWood1965 reviews
Starts out the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione meet the Goddess of Love, and she offers to let them go back in time. Strictly Harry and Hermione. Minor - well maybe major Ginny, Ron and Dumbledore Bashing. Soul Bond - Time Travel
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 315,242 - Reviews: 6092 - Favs: 10,682 - Follows: 12,632 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Dark Phoenix by SofiaDragon reviews
Harry needs to take control of his life. Some very old magic is at work, and our hero finds hidden strength within himself. Snape becomes a major player. Better summary inside. Multiple pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 110,740 - Reviews: 2330 - Favs: 3,385 - Follows: 3,746 - Updated: 9/1/2016 - Published: 5/27/2004 - Harry P., Severus S.
An Aunt's Love by Emma Lipardi reviews
Harry comes home from school and Petunia is upset at the change in her nephew. Petunia decides to do what she should have been doing all along. Dumbledore had better stay away. Petunia Dursley is upset. Warnings on profile.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 73 - Words: 362,981 - Reviews: 14995 - Favs: 11,194 - Follows: 10,834 - Updated: 12/31/2015 - Published: 12/30/2004 - Harry P.
HARRY'S SECOND DESTINY by Potterwing reviews
The Dursleys Go to Japan on a business trip and unfortunately for them they have to take Harry with them. Find out what happens to him. This is A Harry Potter/Sailor Moon Story Serena/Darien Harry/Hotaru other pairings will Come later
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 26,424 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 542 - Follows: 596 - Updated: 9/9/2014 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Hotaru T./Sailor Saturn, Harry P.
Silver Lining by Drusilla Dax reviews
Every single cloud has a silver lining. ///Crossover with NCIS///
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 71 - Words: 132,972 - Reviews: 664 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 11/26/2013 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Severus S. - Complete
The Witches' Conspiracy by White Angel of Auralon reviews
Four women are disgusted with the disinterest Dumbledore shows regarding the upbringing and happiness of Harry Potter. Well if wizards won't do anything to help the boy, the witches will. And they will succeed with their conspiracy. No bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 71,643 - Reviews: 887 - Favs: 2,760 - Follows: 2,046 - Updated: 4/13/2013 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Your Love Means Everything by cross-stitch reviews
"Harry?" The quiet voice roused him from his daze. He didn't need turn his head to know who it was. He had everything about her tuned in. Her voice, the sound of her footsteps, her scent and every facial expression was locked into his mind. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 69,318 - Reviews: 608 - Favs: 748 - Follows: 1,009 - Updated: 10/23/2012 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Healing by RednGold Avenger reviews
When the Wizarding world turned its back on Harry Potter after the war, he goes to Forks, Washington to start a new life. The Cullens soon realise that Harry is the small boy who appeared to them 10 years ago during their time of great despair. NO SLASH
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,441 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 3/19/2010
4 Out of 5 DADA Professors Recommend by wwwendy reviews
With the DADA professor for 1996-97 being unknown, Dumbledore assigns all returning students a summer essay, “What I have learned in DADA while at Hogwarts”. You wouldn't believe the approach Harry took, as some people are finding out, much to their shock
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 52,038 - Reviews: 919 - Favs: 2,697 - Follows: 3,050 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 4/24/2005 - Harry P.
After The War by LilyAnaRose reviews
He heard soft "awes" of pity coming out of the mouths of his family and friends because almost every hand on that magical clock pointed to the word "Home". Almost.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,397 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 1/14/2012 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
To Save a Soul by Angel of the day reviews
Harry's second year has not turned out the way he wanted. Everybody hates him because he can talk to snakes, and Lockeheart has gone all weird on him, so weird that Harry begins to fear what it's all about. He has no one to turn to, no one but Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 83,542 - Reviews: 805 - Favs: 1,399 - Follows: 1,546 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
Well, I'm Gonna Die Anyway by MermaidGirl34 reviews
While going to the Forbidden Forest to give himself up, Harry makes a decision. He's going to die anyway, why not go out with a laugh? Harry makes fun of Voldy before he is "killed." OOC Harry, confused and irritated Voldy. Crack-fic, now a 3-shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,551 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Breeding Darkness by Athey reviews
Descent Into Darkness Sequel. Harry escapes Privet Dr for the summer after 4th year by staying with Tom. Death Eater meetings, training, and discovering new depths to his relationship with the Dark Lord. Harry grows and changes even more. Discontinued
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 242,408 - Reviews: 2481 - Favs: 4,091 - Follows: 3,031 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Goblins, Elves and Harry Potter by dreamjanus reviews
Harry just returned from his 1st shopping trip in the Wizarding World and now his aunt and uncle are selling him to the goblins. Fear not things are not what they seem, Very light slash in later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 58,408 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 621 - Follows: 761 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Harry P.
They Shook Hands : Year 1 (Old Version) by Dethryl reviews
Suppose Draco Malfoy introduced himself before he started acting like an ass. What if he had asked Harry's name before insulting Hagrid? A friendly handshake in Madam Malkin's leads to an alternate but realistic universe which is eerily like the canon. *** This fic has been revised! See story ID 7659033.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 103,040 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 1,085 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 10/6/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Book of Fire: The Beginning Spark by empathic-girl reviews
With Sirius dead and the Dursleys insane Harry has to turn to a new guardian. What secrets does she hold? What is her connection with the past? Read to find out. First book in the Phoenix Phire series
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,714 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/2/2011 - Published: 8/21/2009 - Harry P., OC - Complete
A Good Man by TawnyShyrell reviews
McGee has always been the quiet one with a good family. What happens when a blast from his past comes to challenge that preconceived notion? How will the team view their friend & what danger lies hidden beneath it all?
NCIS - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 82,043 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 10/3/2011 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Tim M., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
That Old House by vanillaparchment reviews
An old house sits at the end of a lane. Abandoned and forgotten, no one would have guessed who was going to buy it... or how full a life that old house was yet to live. Harry/Hermione
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 123,454 - Reviews: 630 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 7/26/2011 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Isolationist Theory by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue reviews
The boy who cried wolf: You know, there's only so much that a boy hero can take. After becoming the wizarding world's scapegoat during the summer after the Triwizard Tournament, Harry decides that enough is enough—and flips Britain the bird. He transfers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,772 - Reviews: 817 - Favs: 2,426 - Follows: 3,020 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Harry P.
Blood for Children by Mihra-Attar reviews
Reposting: Harry is half-vampire. Severus meets the Dursleys. Author has no clue how to summarize story. HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 26,044 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 215 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Severus S., Harry P.
The Christmas Gift by Animal Arithmetic reviews
Dumbledore decides to give six-year-old Harry a quick Christmas visit, but this was not what he was expecting at all. Molly always believed, with a knowing smile, that Bill would be a good brother. 'Prequel' to The Tenth Weasley.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,744 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 659 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 12/22/2010 - Bill W., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Prongs Tatum by Silverfawkes reviews
on hiatus AU They left him on a doorstep and he wandered away.Features Independent Stubborn Harry and pokes fun at the foibles of the magical world.Rating for occasional language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 88,802 - Reviews: 1928 - Favs: 4,091 - Follows: 4,659 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Harry P.
Lord of shadows by voider reviews
Harry and Lucy are the twins who lived. They are also a weird vampire-hybrid, powerful and slightly insane. Watch them as they grow up, as they fool and enrage Snape, Dumbledore, Voldemort and the DE. \ AU Independent Gray Harry \ H/Multy \ Yuri GL
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 91,645 - Reviews: 1002 - Favs: 2,498 - Follows: 2,371 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Harry P., OC
Realizations by Wishweaver reviews
Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it...empty! What do you do when you can't go to your friends for help? Additional Story Notes FYI: a. AU Summer before Fifth Year Fic, b. Not particularly fast paced.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 264,047 - Reviews: 8766 - Favs: 11,646 - Follows: 8,865 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 3/6/2003 - Harry P.
Champions by Thor's Shadow reviews
Harry takes a moment to help another Champion during the Second Task, and the unexpected aftermath forever changes his life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 82,370 - Reviews: 3169 - Favs: 7,782 - Follows: 7,963 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 7/25/2010 - [Harry P., Fleur D.]
Harry Potter and the Descent into Darkness by Athey reviews
4th yr. Through an accident Harry and Voldemort's Horcrux begin to interact and Harry slowly begins to change. He becomes stronger & slowly grows aware of the sinister events that have perpetuated his entire life. Dark!Harry eventual LV/HP SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 267,992 - Reviews: 1358 - Favs: 6,602 - Follows: 1,881 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Yours, Mine & Ours by freddimac87 reviews
Raising three daughters and dealing with jumping back into the dating game make the whole Voldemort thing seem like a walk in the park for Harry Potter. He always wanted a big family, but did that have to come with all the drama?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 40 - Words: 63,876 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 617 - Follows: 326 - Updated: 9/9/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and Godric's Legacy by hermyd reviews
Post OotP. AU. Harry is fed up with Dumbledore's interference and sets out to do things his way, with help from some unexpected sources. When he learns the second half of the Prophecy, and finds his power, he won't allow anything to stand in his way.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 116,726 - Reviews: 1062 - Favs: 3,293 - Follows: 1,526 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 8/2/2009 - [Harry P., Ginny W.] - Complete
Summer of Opportunities by Inusitatus reviews
Following the events at the Department of Mysteries, Harry decides to take greater control of his life. A new relationship with his family, new friends and new opportunities beckon. As do new adventures . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 82,613 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Harry P.
Adopted by DREWHHR reviews
Harry and Hermione make an impromptu visit to an orphanage one day and decide to adopt a child. Georgiana is a five-year-old orphan who just wants to be loved. What happens when these two paths cross? Rating now upped!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 53,635 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 817 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
To become a Muggle by lifebitten reviews
After the events of GoF Harry decides to give up on magic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 115,574 - Reviews: 708 - Favs: 1,549 - Follows: 1,525 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Harry P.
Brave New World by FaeScribe35 reviews
War is upon the Wizarding world. As relationships develop, the bonds of friendship strain and nightmares truly begin, it is Harry's path to stand strong and face the coming dark. AU after OotP. Slash HP/BZ, HG/RW
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 121,610 - Reviews: 782 - Favs: 1,936 - Follows: 1,983 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Harry Potter: the Other Child by Ryders on the Storm reviews
When everyone thinks Harry's brother is the BWL, Harry rises from the shadow of the brother to become more than anyone expected. HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 115,502 - Reviews: 2420 - Favs: 3,209 - Follows: 3,508 - Updated: 4/26/2010 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
I want a mom by Goddess Of Passion reviews
Song fic using I want a mom. Takes place after the S season before the SuperS season. Chibi-Usa has just recieved a letter that she must stay in the past from her mother. Crushed she begins to cry. Someone hears her though. She won't be alone anymore. R&R
Sailor Moon - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,373 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Usagi T./Serena/Bunny/Sailor Moon, Chibiusa T./Rini/Sailor Chibi (Mini) Moon - Complete
Advocatus Diaboli by Chrysanthemum Moon reviews
Harry wasn't who people would believe he's really a vampire prince. Yet, his life wasn't the same either. What can a young vampire do when he's faced with school, coronations and a dark lord who wants his people? AU
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 23 - Words: 54,622 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 3/10/2010 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Partners by muggledad reviews
Having the right partner can make life much smoother. The right persons can complement each other's strengths and support each other's weakness. Love really does make the world go 'round, especially with a Dark Lord after your blood. HP/DG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 166,103 - Reviews: 1396 - Favs: 4,913 - Follows: 2,257 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 4/22/2009 - [Harry P., Daphne G.] [Neville L., Susan B.] - Complete
Some Destiny this is by Hitomi-taichou reviews
Harry and Draco realise that they have mythical power running through their veins and that they're soul mates. Did they somehow majorly piss the gods off, or is this for the better good? Life is unfair, but this is too far. Drarry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,561 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 11/20/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Everything starts in Texas by eddiejazz reviews
The Cullens left in New Moon and Bella has moved on. While vacationing in Texas she comes across Jasper's past and two children who look very familiar. Who are they and what is going to happen between Bella and Jasper? What about Alice? BxJ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 37,958 - Reviews: 539 - Favs: 910 - Follows: 376 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
The Ranch by BloodyAngel93 reviews
Edward Cullen was abusive and after a one night stand with Bella he left her crying. Pregnant and scared she ran away only to have 6 kids nine months later. Years later the cullens find her on a ranch in Wyoming and they learn the truth about everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,274 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Harry Potter and the Four Founders by Darth Marrs reviews
In which Harry discovers there is more to being the Heir of the Four Founders than than just having really cool tattoos. Powerful Harry, Multi-Ship. Post OOTP. No Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 122,625 - Reviews: 2048 - Favs: 5,531 - Follows: 2,362 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Unexpected by apothecary in training reviews
Harry's actions after 4th year produce some unexpected results. Harry enters his sixth year with a son no one can know about. AU after OOTP. No horcruxes. First story. Please be kind. HPGW RWHG.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 56,577 - Reviews: 560 - Favs: 560 - Follows: 739 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Alces Academy: Year One by Gospel Stonemad reviews
Harry James Potter just wants to get away from his brother and his life, but when strange happenings begin, he's left with a choice: to follow in his parents footsteps, or go to the mysterious Alces Academy for gifted students with unnatural abilities. Hiatus
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,109 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Harry P.
Timely Errors by Worfe reviews
Harry Potter never had much luck, being sent to his parents’ past should have been expected. 'Complete' Time travel fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 130,020 - Reviews: 2070 - Favs: 8,407 - Follows: 2,340 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Broken Wings by Snapegirlkmf reviews
Desperate to escape his guilt and nightmares after the third task, Harry transforms into a hawk by accident and ends up breaking both wings and suffering partial memory loss. He is found by Snape,who helps him and discovers the truth about his professor.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 224,394 - Reviews: 2542 - Favs: 2,837 - Follows: 914 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Because You're Mine by Ms. Padfoot reviews
Harry is rescued from the Dursley's by Severus Snape. What he tells Harry leaves him stunned. Who is my father?...I am. Not all is as it was believed to be. Who really is meant to be the 'Saviour of the Wizarding World? Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 76 - Words: 611,455 - Reviews: 1575 - Favs: 2,078 - Follows: 804 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 1/16/2004 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Surprise! by iGymnast reviews
Harry is sixteen, and now has the burden no sixteen-year-old should have: a baby. But what does Draco Malfoy have to do with anything? NOT SLASH, I PROMISE! Sex referenced, no OotP, HBP, or DH. Rated T for some severe language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,642 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Harry P., OC
Dragon Flame by Elensaa reviews
AU. On the night of his sixteenth birthday, Harry recieves a letter. After finding his heritage, Harry returns to Hogwarts for a year of Slytherins, wild powers and lessons. Can he learn from those he once called enemies, and can he fall in love? HD SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,448 - Reviews: 806 - Favs: 876 - Follows: 1,234 - Updated: 4/17/2009 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Spread Your Wings by Ebona Nite reviews
AU: Harry goes to a different school, makes new friends, and learns about his role in the world. Things start coming to a head in Fifth Year, when the War and Hogwarts converge on him. HPLL, femBZOC, OCs; minor slash. ON HOLD
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,617 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 674 - Follows: 924 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Harry P., Luna L.
Arms of A Dark Angel by Snapegirlkmf reviews
Neglected by his caregivers, little Harry would not have survived were it not for the mysterious dark angel who helped him. Harry never knew his name, until he went to Hogwarts and discovered a certain professor bore a remarkable resemblence to his savior
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 232,468 - Reviews: 1551 - Favs: 1,954 - Follows: 664 - Updated: 11/23/2008 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Love in a Shadow by Gundanium-Heart reviews
AU. Harry's sister is believed to be the Girl Who Lived. Harry is the outcast of the family. He is cast away by his parents, but will four powerful ancestors be able to help Harry in his fight against Voldemort? in keeping the will to survive? Harry/Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,179 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 499 - Updated: 8/8/2008 - Published: 4/10/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Fairytale by MetalCloud reviews
We hate him because he acknowledges that our hero is a child. Just a child, with sellotaped glasses and knobbly knees and messy hair. A child who looks with innocence and naivety and hope for this brave new world. Severus knows this will get him killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Safekeeping by Mana Midnight reviews
Instead of Draco killing Dumbledore he stunned Snape and turned to the light. Now with a bounty on his head, Dumbledore takes Draco to the one place he would be safe. With Harry Potter at the Dursley's. DMHP Sequel up
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 51,601 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 711 - Follows: 393 - Updated: 6/29/2008 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Draconic Protégé by LittleDragonOfTruth reviews
DISCONTINUED / After being declared an apprentice to the Dark Lord, he's thrown in Azkaban. Though, that doesn't explain the presence of an unknown black dragon appearing in Romania just days after Harry Potter escapes from Azkaban.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,421 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 857 - Updated: 5/21/2008 - Published: 4/28/2007 - Harry P., Charlie W.
Secrets by potter8668 reviews
Harry has a secret son and learns some secrets of betrayal by Dumbledore. What other secrets will he learn? Will he find love? Will he have his revenge?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 45,758 - Reviews: 874 - Favs: 2,344 - Follows: 935 - Updated: 4/19/2008 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Agent Double O Hex by KafkaExMachina reviews
A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,289 - Reviews: 829 - Favs: 2,084 - Follows: 2,551 - Updated: 3/7/2008 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
With the Love of Parents by RedtheBrunette reviews
Siblings Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ryan were raised by Jenna and Sirius Black. Together they train in preparation, fight back and try to hide. Watch out world, here comes the Blacks.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 70,846 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 2/17/2008 - Published: 9/1/2006 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Alessa by corporealdreams reviews
A child is left on Harry's doorstep. Future HPDM.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,614 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 1/1/2008 - Published: 10/10/2006 - Harry P., OC
Cinderella's Story by Reayasha reviews
One night Hermione starts to remember she met Harry outside of Hogwarts. That should be good right? But why hasn't Harry told her? And what about when she remembers something she doesn’t want to? A HHr Oneshot. T for mentions of child abuse. Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,804 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/14/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Earth's Emissary by MadEyes reviews
[AU] When nature and magic loose their balance at the hand of darkness, the planet itself chooses one worthy enough to wield her power and bring all creatures together against a common foe. One night, Harry looks to the skies and discovers his destiny.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 81,197 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 947 - Follows: 985 - Updated: 10/10/2007 - Published: 2/8/2005 - Harry P.
Awakening the Dragon by Kai-Lun-Mau reviews
The prophecy is revealed but once more Harry is sent back to his aunts and uncles alone, this time its to much and it's time the wizarding world learns what happens when you wake the dragon
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 28,114 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 429 - Follows: 480 - Updated: 7/24/2007 - Published: 5/18/2004 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Summer of Independence by redfrog reviews
Set right after 5th year. Harry becomes independent. No pairings, lots of Quidditch and some Ron&Ginny&Dumbledore&Etc bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 131,378 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 4,873 - Follows: 1,249 - Published: 7/16/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
The Little Child to Lead Him by BlueRosesAtMidnight reviews
A Christmas visit to Harry's relatives set in motion a number of changes in his life... fatherhood being the largest. Eventually Harry and Daphne Greengrass.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 85,099 - Reviews: 634 - Favs: 1,966 - Follows: 873 - Updated: 6/29/2007 - Published: 8/25/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
I Have To Say I Do by potter8668 reviews
Harry has to marry to save two lives that depend on him, twin babies.Who will he pick to be their mother?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 42,468 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 1,300 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 6/16/2007 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Secret Sanctuary by Farfumsane reviews
This fic has been renamed, was 'Year of Discovery'. Harry and co.’s 6th year is filled with new powers, places, experiences and faces. HighPower!Harry. No slash. Ships can be found in the AN at the beginning of the first chapter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 355,607 - Reviews: 2097 - Favs: 1,767 - Follows: 1,389 - Updated: 4/25/2007 - Published: 6/11/2004 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Vox Corporis by MissAnnThropic reviews
Following the events of the Goblet of Fire, Harry spends the summer with the Grangers, his relationship with Hermione deepens, and he and Hermione become animagi.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 68 - Words: 323,186 - Reviews: 4467 - Favs: 8,917 - Follows: 2,619 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Warrior Mage by Lolly Phoenix reviews
Ok, this is yet another 'Harry has extraordinary powers' story. Hopefully a little different to the others. New characters included.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 121,879 - Reviews: 1314 - Favs: 1,856 - Follows: 1,526 - Updated: 3/21/2007 - Published: 11/22/2003 - Harry P., N. Tonks
Moonlight War by Drafonis reviews
To counter an unknown evil rising at Hogwarts, Hotaru Tomoe is sent there as a first-year student. Takes place during the sixth year of the trio, and after Stars. There might be some implied pairings.
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,259 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/17/2007 - Published: 2/3/2005 - Hotaru T./Sailor Saturn
Goblin Conspiracy by loralee1 reviews
AU, Post OotP, No HBP, Harry knows that he must take on Voldemort and finds unexpected allies
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,299 - Reviews: 668 - Favs: 2,273 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 1/25/2007 - Published: 1/17/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Beast Lord by Ceres K reviews
Warning: OotP Spoilers After his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry is getting worse and worse. Fortunately for Harry, a certain Phoenix decides to do something about it. Rating just to be safe. Not your average Independent!Super!Harry fic. Will be HG, RH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 90,053 - Reviews: 1924 - Favs: 2,204 - Follows: 2,303 - Updated: 11/6/2006 - Published: 5/12/2005 - Harry P.
Oops by SilverWolf7007 reviews
When Harry says 'oops', things tend to explode. But not this time. No, this time...well. Something else happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 2,472 - Follows: 427 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Trinity by Katling reviews
Set postHBP. Harry now knows what he has to do find and destroy the Horcruxes and Voldemort. Ron and Hermione refuse to leave his side and they choose to become something that the Dark Lord will fear...the Trinity.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 155,605 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 57 - Published: 10/25/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
The Twist of Time by rwcr reviews
Ch. 10, complete! AU, post HBP. On August 11, 1976, four teenagers appear in Dumbledore's office. With knowledge of the future they will never return to, they set out to cut the Dark Lord's reign short. Will they get it right? Dangerverse spinoff.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 110,820 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 10/11/2006 - Published: 8/17/2006 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Defending the Light by Letishia reviews
Harry decides he'll do anything to destroy Voldemort, with no idea it’ll include werewolves, elves, the Veil, the Chamber of Secrets, Azkaban, exotic new powers, and… a secret identity? Will he be able to keep his secrets without losing everything else?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 75,593 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 473 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 5/31/2004 - Harry P.
The Heirs of Hogwarts by PhoenixFirebolt reviews
In 6th year, Hermione stumbles upon an ancient prophecy concerning the Four Founders of Hogwarts. Now four of the students find out exactly who they are and that they must join forces to defeat Voldemort and rid all evil in the world. AU fic. HHR, DG, RLL
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 209,265 - Reviews: 1296 - Favs: 1,547 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 8/3/2006 - Published: 8/26/2004 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Averto Vicis by Lady Smoothie reviews
AU, HBP Compatible: When Hermione dies in battle moments after her powers are awakened, Dumbledore utilizes a centuries old spell to send Harry back in time to his six year old self. By Aerin. [UPDATED AND ALIVE!][NEW CHAPTER: HALLOW'S EVE]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,797 - Reviews: 1715 - Favs: 1,672 - Follows: 1,858 - Updated: 7/26/2006 - Published: 3/13/2005 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Behind the rainbow by relative1983 reviews
Au 6th year. Harry and his aunt have a better relationship than most think. During the summer after 5th year, some things happen that need to be kept secret, things that can be deadly, but for whom? And why does Harry lie to his friends? Read to find out!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 43,121 - Reviews: 456 - Favs: 671 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 4/22/2006 - Published: 2/11/2006 - Harry P., Petunia D. - Complete
Love Means Never Having to TimeTravel by BlueRosesAtMidnight reviews
Complete. FWHG. Hermione and Fred accidentally go back in time to the Marauder's Era when a potion explodes. Hilarity ensues when Fred creates their cover story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 77,694 - Reviews: 1527 - Favs: 3,227 - Follows: 702 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 12/5/2005 - Fred W., Hermione G. - Complete
One Winged Angel by Shivani reviews
Slash, HPTR - One view on why Tom Riddle became Voldemort, and what he does once he realizes that particular truth.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 185,846 - Reviews: 694 - Favs: 1,776 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 3/19/2006 - Published: 12/13/2004 - [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.] - Complete
Harry Potter and the Guardians of Power by teacherbev reviews
Nominated for best action adventure at Quills! After being ambushed and kidnapped, Harry and Snape escape... Snape becomes a mentor. No SLASH. AU story starts in the middle of Harry's 5th year. PDF, ebook, mobipocket available on author's homepage!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 170,166 - Reviews: 1030 - Favs: 2,266 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 12/5/2005 - Published: 10/12/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Unexpected Events by zakairen reviews
Arriving back at Privet Drive for the summer after fifth year, Harry gets some shocking news. No more Dursleys? Independant!Harry and Dumbledore bashing. AU because HBP. No spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 79,224 - Reviews: 1366 - Favs: 2,094 - Follows: 2,234 - Updated: 10/24/2005 - Published: 4/11/2005 - Harry P.
Evil Be Thou My Good by Ruskbyte reviews
Nine years ago Vernon Dursley brought home a certain puzzle box. His nephew managed to open it, changing his destiny. Now, in the midst of Voldemort's second rise, Harry Potter has decided to recreate the Lament Configuration... and open it... again.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40,554 - Reviews: 1780 - Favs: 6,841 - Follows: 1,650 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Crumbling Pedestal by Shivani reviews
Slash, HPSS- Harry's date with Voldemort at the conclusion of the Triwizard tournament didn't go quite as planned. Fate steps in with a 'unique' opportunity, offering Harry the chance to live and mature in the past. For a while, anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 179,530 - Reviews: 920 - Favs: 3,188 - Follows: 622 - Updated: 2/15/2005 - Published: 6/21/2004 - [Harry P., Severus S.] - Complete
Harry Potter and the Council of ArchMages by Mirengard reviews
The summer after his fifth year, Harry is sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. However, on his Birthday, Harry gets a surprise that could change his life forever... (First Fic ever, PLEASE READ and REVIEW!) Re-posted, changed all 8 previous cha
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 82,101 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 777 - Follows: 474 - Updated: 1/26/2005 - Published: 8/3/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Silver Trio by Seta Kaede reviews
Belittled, neglected, and abused; the golden trio have grown up differently and are now Slytherins, the Silver Trio. Dark, but not evil le
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,560 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 787 - Follows: 699 - Updated: 9/27/2004 - Published: 5/16/2004 - Harry P.
We All Die Anyway by Roslyn Drycof reviews
One day, we all die anyway. . ." Poetry begins appearing on the wall of the prefects' bathroom and everyone is curious as to who the two authors are. Especially the two authors. Who is the other writer? HPDM. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,789 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 49 - Published: 7/19/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Birthday Surprises by Lolly Phoenix reviews
Harry receives a rather unusual 17th birthday present from the Headmaster. A present that changes anything and everything.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 76 - Words: 105,493 - Reviews: 3247 - Favs: 2,418 - Follows: 510 - Updated: 4/7/2004 - Published: 9/11/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Knowledge of a Mother by Pearl Drop Angel reviews
Everyone leaves something behind for their children to remember them by. Lily Evans didn’t know, when she left her diary behind, that it would help her son into knowing her and himself. …Or did she? Better than it sounds.Epilogue
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 116,139 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 384 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 8/17/2003 - Published: 4/25/2003 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Draco In Darkness by plumeria reviews
Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves. [Complete]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,959 - Reviews: 786 - Favs: 2,482 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 3/31/2003 - Published: 2/13/2003 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
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Inheritance reviews
Opposite of what most think,Severus Snape is not an only child.He actually has 12 younger siblings and when his little sis comes 2 Hogwarts, his life is turned upside down.me no own hp!r&r plz!slight ooc,good sev,ok draco,confused harry, dumbles...?REVIEW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,121 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/30/2011 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Severus S., Harry P.
Somebody to Lean On reviews
Do you beleive in angels? I know I do. Actually, I kinda have to, seeing as I am part-angel. My Da's full; anyways, I guard someone you'd never suspect of needing an angel...but the truth is, he needs me badly! Rating may change!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,334 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Riddle Me This reviews
I'm Jessica and this is my twin, Nathaniel, or Nate." "What is your last name?" Both children froze, and Harry nodded in encouragement. "Our last name," they said slowly. "Is..." R&R plz! flames welcome!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,161 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/16/2010 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Harry P., OC
Someone's Watching Over Me reviews
DISCONTINUED!Had anyone been on Seacourt Rd at four in the afternoon on June 21, they would have seen police leading a small girl out of a rundown house. This girl is Alena, and in a few hours her whole view of the world will change...drastically.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Draco M., OC
Nicknames for the Nicknamed reviews
My version of how Harry pisses off and totally humiliates Voldemort before he dies. OOC on Moldyshorts.Yes it is kinda short. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's as simple as that.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 465 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/16/2009 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete