yesimahuman
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-14-09, id: 2048407, Profile Updated: 11-22-09
Author has written 24 stories for Bleach, Zombieland, 2012, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Alex Rider, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, How to Train Your Dragon, Avatar: Last Airbender, and Halo.

Hey everyone...

I'm noticing how much easier it is to write fics than to actually write your profile...

Oh well...

I got my pen name from the annoying question "Are you a human?"

BEGIN ADVERTISEMENT.

Hello, fellow fanfiction writers! I have a challenge for you all. I'm really interested in seeing more fics in this category, and so, I decided to do this.

Write 2012 fanfiction. (And no, I'm not affiliated with the movie. I'm just interested in it.)

Now, I know, the movie isn't a masterpiece. It has cliche characters, cliche action scenes, lots and lots of cliche. There can be some debatable anti-Christian stuff (though I personally believe Emmerich did it just to avoid a fatwah) and some of the acting is rather dubious. However, I liked it for one reason.

It delivers what I expected, and more.

2012 is as good as doomsday gets. No sentient being (quoting Roger Ebert there) will go to see it expecting anything less than some doomsday action flick. I got a doomsday action flick and some philosophy on the side. That's good enough for me, and I like philosophical writing- especially concerning Doomsday.

So go forth!

And write 2012 fanfiction.

END ADVERTISEMENT.

I'm a guy, live in CA, which rocks. I went to Washington once in June. I kept looking up at the sky and wondering where the flip the sun was. CA weather spoils you. I'm 13.

A... bit of a pet peeve here:

OK, the rant starts...

NOW!

Look, if you're new to the site, don't put "My first fic, might suck" or some other variation in the description. Don't put "Sorry I suck at summaries" in the description. Just DON'T. Okay?

Look, if you're saying that your summary sucks, that's an excuse so blatant it hurts. The moment I see the word "sucks" (because you will invariably use that word) I skip the story. So please, please, don't do it...

Another thing.

Don't put "No flames plz!" (because they always put "plz" and not "please." I defy you to find a single example.) Look, most of the people on this sight will usually put an actual reason for why your story needs improving. They are intellegent people (relatively. Go onto Youtube and the like and you'll see what I mean. But seriously, the vast majority of people here are very intellegent. They're writers. They have to be.) So when you put up "no flames" it means you can't take criticism. When I see "No Flames" I skip.

Because I have never seen a true flame in my entire time on this site. I read reviews for the heck of it. I've probably read hundreds of reviews. There has not been a single review I have seen that has the true characteristics (the !!111 thing, bad grammar, ALL CAPS) on this site.

Now, I've been to the PJO fandom. I've written stories in it. And I've seen your "flames."

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Venture to the dirtier parts of the Internet, and see exactly what I mean by "flames."

Really? Not a single comment questioning the author's heterosexuality? You need to step it up if you want to be considered a flame. (You know, I think it's because I'm a guy and 90+ percent of this site are all girls.)

Another pet peeve here.

If you want to praise my story, SPELL RIGHT AND MAKE IT MORE THAN A DOZEN WORDS LONG.

Because doing that makes me think that you're intelligent.

And not doing that makes me think that you're an idiot.

I don't like being praised by idiots. It makes me feel patronized. Some of my reviewers (Thank you, The Two Sides of Fate) write long, paragraph reviews. I like those. Even better would be paragraph reviews that point out little (or big, depending on the quality of the story) things I could fix. Those would make me feel even better.

Regardless of whether or not you like/dislike the story, if you feel nice, review it.

Best Movie Of All Time: The Dark Knight. I like superhero movies. I like dark action, and violence. I hate it when the protagonist refuses to do acts of immorality for the greater good. That's also part of the reason I dislike Rave Master. The main character refuses point blank to do anything that is remotely immoral.

Now, the thing about the Dark Knight is that it really doesn't have its title character as its main one. The Joker completely dominates the entire show, with his unspeakably horrifying yet incredible, amazing acts. He drills a cell phone bomb into one of his henchman's stomachs to make a getaway! He's a psychopath, but he doesn't have a conquer the world syndrome. He's just doing this because he likes it, which makes his character incredibly interesting. Unlike the vast majority of comic book super villains, he does not have a plan, and, in his own words, is like a "dog chasing cars".

Best Shounen Manga Of All Time: Bleach. Now, it's the best Shounen Manga because it stretches the boundaries of its genre. Yes, it does have a guarantee win for the good guys and all that stuff, but I defy you to name one Shounen Manga that does not. The reason I like it is it's diveristy of characters. While many dislike Bleach because of the very same reasons, I like it because it definetly blurs the good/bad line. Take Nel. She has a very defined sense of right and wrong. Yet, she was once an Espada, and without Nnoitra's interference, would very likely still be one. Now take Mayuri. Need I go on?

Likes: Interesting bits of history, useless trivia (because I can recall it fairly easily and freak out my friends at the same time), good books with good plots, and reviews. I like being criticized, as long as it's constructive and respectful enough. I kind of like the freaks, too, who rant at you. You can always get a good laugh out of those.

Dislikes: Emos (Ok, don't get me wrong here. I'm perfectly fine with people who are "emo", as in the subculture, who wear dark clothes and make up to stand out and be individual. That's fine. It freaks me out some, but I could honestly care less. I don't like the people who mope around whining "ooh... my life sucks... give me a gun". Okay, if you've really been abused, 1. I don't think you would scream it out to the world on your facebook, email, and every single other public forum that is available to you. and 2. Don't commit suicide. I don't have much respect for suicidal people. It's inconsiderate. Think about the people who knew you, and the guilt that they will experience.) Rant over. Overly sweet things, stupid people, and posers. Seriously, if I've seen you break down into tears, your name-calling will have no effect on me. At all. So stop. Find some other way to boost your bruised ego. Like possibly getting a life.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum reviews
A collection of somewhat-related stories detailing the aftermath of the Human-Covenant War. Hint: genocide does not a peaceful reconciliation make. Most prominently features the Jiralhanae, Humans, and Sangheili.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,352 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/1/2010 - Published: 10/8/2010
Fundamental reviews
If they chose to activate the Avatar State and freeze Aang in the ice, the world would continue to be engulfed by war, and if they decided to abandon Aang, his blood would be on their hands. Kuruk, Roku, Yangchen, and Kyoshi make a choice.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Roku - Complete
How to Train Your Dragon: A Guide reviews
The definitive handbook on dragons, how they behave, and how to train them, "How to Train Your Dragon" is, without a doubt, a must-read for prospective dragon owners. Buy before July 8th at Orlick's bookstore and receive a copy signed by the author.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,740 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 5/20/2010 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Complete
Godly Wrath reviews
In the old myths, it was a very bad idea to anger the gods. This rule holds true to this day. Poseidon, god of the sea, was about to teach this mortal exactly how bad of an idea it was. Hades could only marvel at his brother. Rated for gore.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,565 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Poseidon, Hades - Complete
Bad Joke reviews
There is no system. There are no rules, no regulations, and no absolutes. There are only those who realize that there is no system and bend it to their whims. The Joker is one of them, and his whims include a psychologist and a large hole in a wall.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Joker - Complete
Makeup and Purple Suits reviews
The Joker evolved by putting on different costumes. He added brighter, flashier items to his existing ones, until he was forced to smile for all eternity.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Joker - Complete
Tasting the Rain reviews
When you move too fast, it gets harder and harder for you to slow down. Life and love are fragile, fragile, things, and running through them too fast can hurt. Written for The Firm's December Prompt: Taste
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,895 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Alex R./Cub
Survivor's Rage reviews
Tallahassee's taken a few dips into the pool of insanity before, and each time he came up, he was angrier than he was before.
Zombieland - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,464 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/4/2009 - Tallahassee - Complete
Like Clockwork reviews
Tick-tock, goes the clock. Mankind itself was already a machine, pumping out cookie-cutter madmen every few years. Alex was slowly becoming a machine himself, because all good spies are machines, and bad spies don't exist. Those are called dead people.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,349 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Roman Ambition reviews
The man who would become Grimmjow Jaegerjacques witnessed the panther's hunt that night. The next day, he died. Grimmjow had been blessed with ambition rivaling that of the Romans, and he swore that he would make good use of it.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,721 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/27/2009 - Grimmjow J. - Complete
What Thankless Work reviews
Apollo really, really, doesn't like his new job.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,514 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 16 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Apollo, Artemis - Complete
Innocent Purpose reviews
Prometheus always claimed an innocent purpose. Yeah, right.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,200 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Prometheus, Luke C. - Complete
Keeping Them in Power reviews
Some of the things that the Gods represented died over time, but most of them survived. This is what keeps the Gods in power.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,348 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Hephaestus, Apollo - Complete
Down With the Ship reviews
President Thomas Wilson knew exactly what he was going to do on Doomsday.
2012 - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,505 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/20/2009 - T. Wilson - Complete
Ring Out the Bells reviews
Doomsday was always an effective agent of change. As the sound of the bell rang out over the Himalayas, the challenge faced by mankind was clear.
2012 - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/18/2009 - A. Helmsley, T. Wilson - Complete
Moment of Silence reviews
Tallahassee knew that this day would come, and when it did, he was prepared to mourn.
Zombieland - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 851 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Tallahassee, Columbus - Complete
Highway to Hell reviews
Maybe the better the intentions are, the faster you'll be sent straight to hell. OOC Aizen, I guess.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/13/2009 - S. Aizen
The Son of God reviews
A series of post-SS arc events. Contains a couple OCs, goes AU after chapter 178. Pairings either undecided or non-existent. Don't expect any arrancar/human or shinigami pairings, though.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,085 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/12/2009 - Published: 10/4/2009 - S. Aizen, Ichigo K.
Falling From the Stars reviews
A semi-songfic about Ichigo, his hollow, and their thoughts about rain. Ichigo always hated rain, but now he's come to appreciate it. Rated T for swearing. Uses four lines from Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends."
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Dark Ichigo, Ichigo K. - Complete
Great Minds Think Alike reviews
Grimmjow visits Karakura and meets someone unexpected.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,915 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Grimmjow J., Dark Ichigo - Complete
Eternal Hostility Against Tyranny reviews
Ichigo visits the Jefferson Memorial in Washington. Ichigo's hollow ponders Jefferson's words.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Ichigo K., Dark Ichigo - Complete
Live to Fight reviews
A story about young Zaraki Kenpachi's experiences in Zaraki. Contains spoilers up to Bleach 371. Language and violence, so its rated T. OCs, but one of them has his/hers existence confirmed by Kubo.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,321 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 8/17/2009 - K. Zaraki, Yachiru K. - Complete
Reasons reviews
Some of the reasons are simple. Some are complex. This is why they joined Aizen's army.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,716 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/21/2009 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Tousen K., G. Ichimaru - Complete
You Can't Live Off Of Only Food reviews
This one-shot used to be in my other story, but I removed it, since, now that I think about it, intermissions don't really make sense. Zaraki Bankai theory inside.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 742 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/25/2009 - K. Zaraki, C. Stark - Complete