This profile is not for me to upload stories. It is to allow me to know which stories are my favorite and review them. Do what you will with my selection of favorite stories and authors.
For anything else: Use your imagination
"Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to."
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."
"He's severely different than any other you're likely to run across. After all, even a lump of coal can become a diamond with enough years and handling."
"If the opposite of pro is con, then the opposite of progress is congress."
"I like pigs. Cats look down on you, dogs look up at you, but pigs regard you as an equal."
"A good friend will ask if you're okay when you fall. A true friend will laugh at you."
"A true friend will keep you from doing stupid things... alone."
"My friends are the type of people who would spend hours trying to drown a fish. But I love 'em anyway!"
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." -Robert Bloch
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement."
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -Lily Tomlin
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?"
"He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor."
"Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!"
"Crazy is a relative term in my family!"
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
"Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!"
"My door is always open, so feel free to leave!"
"Experience is the worst teacher - it gives the test before the lesson."
"I'm not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do, you won't learn anything."