JocastiaTheGreat
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Joined 08-16-09, id: 2050920, Profile Updated: 09-11-10

ok, so, um, obviously i am a fan of the twilight series, and, im gonna be honest with you, the only reason i joined this site is to give my writings decent exposure. i am shy, but can be VERY LOUD, i can be the smartest person you know one minute and a total blonde (no offence intended) the next. i can be mellow and totally hyped up. I can be (as my mom says) wound tighter than a two-day clock. i can be emo one minute and all sunshine and rainbows the next. i could like this guy one minute and absolutely loathe him the next. my friends always have my back and yes i truly belive that (1) you truly don't know what you have until its gone and (2) you never really find out who ur true friends are until ur in a crisis. i can jump on the bandwagon one minute and be a total outcast the next. yes, it is true, i am a teenager.

okay, after seeing ECLIPSE, i officially LOVE Jasper he turns my girl parts into a delightfully mushy & quivering mess. ;) lol. maybe TMI there. oh well.

Did you know...

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for period pain.

It's good to cry.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.

It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judges.

A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.

Boys aren't worth your tears.

We all love surprises.

Now...make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH!!

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.

If you have ever seen "The Hillywood Show" twilight parody (which is amazing!) and thought that the guy was kinda cute for like 2 seconds until you realized he was only somewhat cute to you because he was trying to be Edward, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name. -Original JocastiaTheGreat

I understand it when you say that you don't have time to upload your stories, yet somehow you had time to write the bulletin to say that you don't have time to upload your stories! put this on your bullentin if the author of the stories you are reading was a little slow on posting the next chapter. -Original JocastiaTheGreat

-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune until now.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303,Thank you people who are nice, AfterDarkHours, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Jasper's Delicate Angel, RandomPersonWriting, edwardbella15, JocastiaTheGreat


I am a girl.
Harsh but vulnerable.
Sarcastic but silly.
Stupid but thoughtful.
Thorny but tender.
Funny but serious.
Loud but passive.
Dramatic but bland.
An open book.
Easy to hate & easy to love.
Coordinated but occasionally clutzy .
Independent, but dependent on friends.
An oxymoron
A muddling paradox
An unsolvable contradiction
And totally proud of it


1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6.) Your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.

7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.) & now youre laughing at your stupidity.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.


92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.


A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad: Follow her

When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you: Give her your attention

When she pull's away: Pull her back

When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared: Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does

When she misses you: she's hurting inside

When she goes shopping: go with her and carry her bags

When you walk together: open doors for her

When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away

When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. -

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think peopleshould just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED


-Let flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

--Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that IDIOT upside the head.


WORDS TO LIVE BY:

"The woman came from the man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior. But from the side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." Harry S. Truman

"I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." ~ William Dement

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide


Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. ((I have. Very embarrassing.))

--If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

--98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.


Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
When a Volvo drives through town
I promise to obey traffic laws
Of course for Charlie's sake
And whenever a wolf howls
I promise to remember Jake
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know


Lessons learned from Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Edward Cullen: Sexier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Bella Swan: Luckier than you since 1987


--If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile. (for me, it was SPORK!)

If you're quiet a lot but you're also really loud, copt this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes post this on your profile. (It's this writing and reading stuff, its not my fault!)

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish Emmett was your big brother, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have too many of these copy and paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy and paste this into your profile..


Random Quotes:

"I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain." ~ Captain Jack Sparrow

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"If I was a man with gills I would be a fish."

"You're anti-nice!"

"I like sundaes on Sundays that leave me in a sun daze."

If Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 percent of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 percent of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP SLUT!" copy and paste this in to your profile.

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Bella's Dirty Notebook by tiffaninichole reviews
Bella keeps a notebook full of her dirtiest fantasies. One day while in a hurry to escape her domineering boss, she loses the raunchy book and is desperate to get it back before it falls into the wrong hands...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,292 - Reviews: 1439 - Favs: 1,476 - Follows: 1,674 - Updated: 3/30/2011 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Carlisle, Bella, and the Cullen clan by meg5442 reviews
Bella meets Carlisle in the emergency room and falls in lust with him, Carlisle knows that Bella is his singer and his soulmate.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,066 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Carlisle, Bella