Author has written 7 stories for NCIS.
Welcome to my profile!
I have a deep love for and connection to art. Whether it be prose, poetry, painting, music, film, theater etc, I find satisfaction in absorbing creative pieces and occasionally creating them.
Some quotations I like:
"Pole kurje inimesi, on ainult kurjad teod. Ja karistuseks peavad nood oma maja seljas kandma." A quote in my mother tongue, the meaning of which would be lost in translation. Sorry, English-speaking folks.
"Nothing. Amazing subject, that one. Produces such fascinating reactions in people." - "The High Lord" by Trudi Canavan
"Don't frown because it's over, smile because it happened."
"The hardest battle you're ever going to fight is the battle to be just you." - Leo Buscaglia
"The only certainty is that nothing is certain."
"In one case out of a hundred a point is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed." - Edgar Allan Poe
"I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it." - Carl Sandburg
"There is a world just around the corner of your mind, where reality is an intruder and dreams come true. You may escape into it at will. You need no secret password, no magic wand or Aladdin's lamp; only your own imagination and curiosity about Things That Never Were..."
"It is of wretched taste to accept mediocrity when the excellent lies just before us."
"I may not have gone where I intended to go but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." - Douglas Adams
"Ah, I see the Fuck-up Faerie has visited us again."
"But they are useless. They can only give you answers." - Picasso, on computers
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." - Albert Einstein
"'Come to the edge,' he said. They said: 'We are afraid.' 'Come to the edge,' he said. They came, he pushed them... and they flew." - Guillaume Apollinaire
"Learn to keep alive in your heart that little spark of celestial fire, Conscience." – Washington
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - Goethe
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
THE MORSE CODE:
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
READ THE FOLLOWING WITHOUT SMILING OR GIGGLING OR LAUGHING
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
On T-Rat (Military food):
The Ten Commandments of a Teenager
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
7. Thou shall not skip class.
8. Thou shall not strip in class.
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
It's Amazing how your best friend
Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash.
Mobile phones are being used in class.
Detention becomes suspension.
Soda becomes vodka.
Bikes become cars.
Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?
Dad's shoulders were the highest place on Earth and mom was your hero.
Your worst enemies were your siblings.
Race issues were about who ran the fastest.
War was only a card game.
The only things that hurt were skinned knees.
And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.
Cheating only happened in games.
And goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.
When wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut.
A hickey was just a funny little word.
You were only supposed to die from old age.
Texting never cost you your life.
Swearing was only for adults.
'Doing' something was never a gross term.
Love was only from the people you care about.
Suicide wasn't your thing.
Cocaine used to be a pixie stick.
Remember when the only older men you hung out with were related to you.
When 22-year-old strangers never called you 'babe'.
A pole was only for tetherball.
Kidnapping only meant a kid was sleeping.
O.J. was orange juice, not a killer.
Video Games were the only violence you saw.
When your bed wasn't meant for sharing.
Hobos were just spiders.
Hate only came from people you knew.
You only got Mono from sharing lip gloss.
16-year-olds knew better.
Parents only gave you spankens.
Your friends used to be nice to you.
Crushing meant you liked someone.
AIDS only existed in Africa.
The only gun you used squirted water.
Dancing was never dirty.
Knives were to cut steak.
Boys only worried about sucking in sports.
French Kissing was only in France.
The scariest thing about boys was rejection.
And you couldn't wait to grow up.
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.