aotearoan
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Joined 08-20-09, id: 2055110, Profile Updated: 06-21-13
Author has written 11 stories for Lord of the Rings, Twilight, Discworld, and Hobbit.

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed a story of mine, written a story I've enjoyed, or just generally been encouraging :)

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Jackson, Where's My Paycheck? by theharshlightofday reviews
A hobbit in dire need of health insurance, a bumbling gardener, a senile wizard, a klutzy ranger, a prissy elf and a horny elf maiden with a speech impediment… it can only be a shameless parody of Peter Jackson’s movie trilogy!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 99,667 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 10/1/2013 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Aragorn, Frodo B.
Not Quite A Maia by Kara's Aunty reviews
Middle Earth has a problem: Gandalf the Grey is AWOL in Time & Space after destroying the Balrog of Khazad-dûm. But who will take his place in the Quest to defeat the Dark Lord Sauron? Not who you think... HP/LOTR Crossover. Wildly AU!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 551,620 - Reviews: 891 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 5/29/2013 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Neville L., Molly W.
Lord of the Rings Limericks by Llinos reviews
Just a few limericks based on the quirks and thoughts of the characters who appear in the book and film. Starts with one each for the Fellowship. For future chapters, I am taking/took requests. Chapter 4 - A few more, just for luck - and to fulfil outstanding requests.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,356 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/19/2013 - Published: 7/30/2005
Entry 23784327473467838 by eris86 reviews
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about fanfiction...oh dear God, it's back.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,036 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 1/18/2013 - Published: 12/16/2005
HELP! I'm trapped in a Mary Sue plot! by The Great Space Hobo reviews
A Sue falls into Middle-Earth and her normal sister is tagging along. Can Aubrey stop her Sue of a sister before she ruins Middle-Earth? Or will she turn into a Sue herself? Canceled indefinitely
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,878 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ladies' Guide To The Disc's Eligible Bachelors by Virtuella reviews
A handy guide for ladies seeking that little something Roundworld bachelors just can't provide.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,473 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Complete
Murder Most 'Orrible by A.A. Pessimal reviews
Domestic Science at the Assassins' School, where whether you add almond essence is truly a life-or-death choice. Joan the teacher confiscates a copy of the "Tanty Bugle". And her past comes up to meet her...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 21 - Words: 84,324 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Complete
Mountain Guards by Malicean reviews
"In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair." Love… not exactly. Despair… like hell! 2010 MEFA Nominee
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,460 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 4/20/2006
Fair Wanderer, Thou Makest Me Sicker by Araloth the Random reviews
The Bane of Legolas, a Sue with Maia powers able to mangle Shakespeare beyond recognition, proclaims herself Queen of Rivendell. What happens when Legolas gets married and Sauron gets involved? Total madness ensues. . .
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,290 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Complete
A Beleriand Treasury of Childish Tales by Clodia reviews
A collection of frivolous snippets. Number eight: domestic discontent in Lothlórien. MEFA 2010 Honourable Mention in Genres: Drama: Incomplete for ch.s 1-8.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,809 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 3/21/2009
And Death was his constant companion by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
Death meets Lord of the Rings, to put it simply. Please Read and Review.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Death, Aragorn
A glimpse into the future by Grummel reviews
While researching the history of the ring, Gandalf has an encounter of the strange kind and finds more than he was searching for.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,030 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 5/10/2009 - The Librarian, Gandalf - Complete
There's No Knowing Where You Might Be Swept Off To by Nieriel Raina reviews
A collection of unrelated, stand alone fics that don't seem to belong anywhere else. These short stories are unrelated to any of my series.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,028 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/22/2009
Letters From A Lost Daughter by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
River writes to her parents.
Firefly - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,751 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 12/20/2007 - River - Complete
Ask Elrond by labradorite reviews
Ask Lord Elrond any and all of your most personal questions! Go on, it’s easy! Just slip your anonymous letter in the box stationed outside of his office and expect a reply within the week. NO tampering with letters. That means YOU, Elladan and Elrohir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 75,853 - Reviews: 889 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Elrond - Complete
The Fellowship of the Facebook Status by sweetypie15 reviews
LOTR's Fellowship of the Ring told through the characters' facebook statuses. UPDATE: The Two Notifications and The Return of the Friend Request are now up! under Aotearoan for author . Yes, Tolkien is turning in his grave.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,166 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/10/2009 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Frodo B., Aragorn - Complete
Golden Band by Aearloth Lindir reviews
A look at the direct interactions between Frodo and the Ring during the three films.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Frodo B. - Complete
A Sad Awakening by Aearloth Lindir reviews
Merry realises that even though the Shadow has departed, life will forever be different. Post war, Ithilien.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Meriadoc B., Frodo B. - Complete
Aragorn's Secret by lolly pop3 reviews
The real reason the future King of Gondor manages to stay looking so good at the tender age of eighty-seven! Humorous vignette.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 767 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Aragorn - Complete
Monty Python's 'The Hobbit' by Morthoron reviews
A perfectly punctuated Python parody of JRR Tolkien's beloved The Hobbit. Join Bilbo Baggins' quest to free Erebor from Smaug the dragon before a lethal strain of comedy kills him. 3RD PLACE, 2009 MEFA AWARDS, with the top two spots left purposely blank.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 50,214 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Bilbo B., Gandalf - Complete
YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS? by sweetypie15 reviews
Try being Legolas. Having to deal with Aragorn's love life, teachers, his psychotic mother & her latest husband, councillors, detention and Pippin following you around asking stupid questions. Don't read if you have an idealised view of Leggy. Just don't
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 46 - Words: 35,489 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 9/20/2005 - Legolas, Aragorn
The Ape and the Angel by InsanityInside reviews
Apparently the place where the ape meets the angel is... some sort of library.
Crossover - Discworld & Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/26/2009 - The Librarian, Aziraphale - Complete
A Chapter of Accidents by Jedi Sapphire reviews
Sometimes, even in relatively peaceful times and relatively peaceful places, accidents happen. Characters: Mainly Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan and Elrohir. April 2009 Teitho Winner.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,600 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Aragorn, Legolas, Elrohir - Complete
The Next Best Thing by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
How the events of Lords and Ladies worked out for Esme and Mustrum Weatherwax. Yes I said Weatherwax, don't you know witches' husbands always take their wife's surname?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,006 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/15/2009
Intimate observations on the sex life of trolls by A.A. Pessimal reviews
Advisory: 18 Possibly more suited for a slashfic site, an attempt to explain where pebbles come from. Depending on where my sleazy horrible little mind leads me, definite adults-only Discworld? There may be more extracts from de Meserole’s seminal work .
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,897 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Complete
The Healing Arts by A.A. Pessimal reviews
On the Pellenor Fields, a vampire is near death. On the Discworld, a vampire deprived of her coffee fix is having "flashsides". the Last Detail's medic, Igorina, gets caught betwen two vampires. LOTR meets Pratchett's Discworld. Monstrouous Regiment
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,545 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Aragorn - Complete
Happy Birthday by A.A. Pessimal reviews
well, Terry Pratchett started it... when a character suspiciously like Gollum slithered into a cameo role in "Witches Abroad". And after meeting Discworld witches, probably wishes he hadn't. Gollum's further adventures on the Discworld.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Gollum
What's For Dinner? by Nieriel Raina reviews
UFS: He always knew wood-elves were strange. Will their outlandish customs prove too much for a stout dwarf like Gimli? 2ND PLACE March 2009 Teitho Contest; 2ND PLACE 2009 MEFA Genres: Character Study: Friendship
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,737 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Gimli, Legolas - Complete
Embers by Evergreene reviews
Legolas is of the opinion that a certain ranger is taking far too long to start a simple campfire.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,489 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Twurp's Peerage: Vimes by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
The 181st edition of that distinguished work, copywrite 1988 U.C. Ankh-Morpork Publications, pp. 1059-1063, excluding engraved portraits.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,512 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Complete
Children's Play by Charli800 reviews
A brief look at the play of some adventurous young hobbits; set a few years before the LOTR quest begins.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Samwise G., Rosie C. - Complete
Mrs Maggot Gives Directions by Virtuella reviews
From the start, Frodo's quest stood on the edge of a knife. He might not have made it to Bucklebury Ferry, had it not been for the quick thinking of a farmer's wife. A look at how an ordinary hobbit is faced with the shadow. MEFA 2009 First Place
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,066 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Complete
Tales of Tragedy and Sometimes, Manly Bonding by TheArc5 reviews
AU. In Valinor, the members of the Fellowship yes, all of them stave off boredom. But Frodo's new hobby brings up an unexpected issue...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,990 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/17/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008
Angua Loses It by Virtuella reviews
Moonlight, a random discharge of magic and a little switch. Written for Rowena DeVandal's One Thousand Words Or Less Challenge.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,106 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Angua - Complete
The Boromir Letters by JustInunotaisho reviews
As the fellowship blunders its way to Mordor, a certain captain of Gondor writes of their exploits to his brother back home. Nonslash. It is complete at last. Disclaimer: Tolkein's not here to sell it, so...nope, I don't own LOTR
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,201 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/20/2008 - Published: 10/7/2006 - Boromir - Complete
The Days of Wine and Roses by Peregrin Ionad reviews
My entry for the LOTR Community-Yahoo-group challenge Set the night before Aragorn's coronation, the king-to-be is a little worried, but will good friends, and good wine, make him happier, or just make him panic more?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,387 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
A Lesson on Hobbits by Budgielover reviews
Lesson V. Even the self-proclaimed authority on hobbits in Middle-earth gets a lesson one evening.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,574 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 3/19/2008 - Published: 12/17/2004 - Frodo B., Gandalf - Complete
One and One Makes Two by TheArc5 reviews
Sam meets Frodo for the first time, and Frodo learns a thing or two.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,515 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Frodo B., Samwise G. - Complete
Night Comes Gently by Mariole reviews
After Frodo's visit, Tom Bombadil claims the One Ring.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,422 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Frodo B., Aragorn - Complete
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Nurmengard by Eggo Waffles reviews
Harry thought the conversation was getting needlessly tangential, and decided that the quickest way to remedy this was by speaking in capital letters. BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GRINDELWALD?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Albus D., Hermione G. - Complete
You've Never What? by JustInunotaisho reviews
Bachelor parties for a certain king of Gondor are anything but sane. Who has the most surprises when a game of I Never is combined with a keg? Nonslash and dang proud of it. Formerly on hiatus, now finished with song but not dance.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,080 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/16/2007 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Complete
With Many Fond Acknowledgments by Thundera Tiger reviews
Behind every great writer is a host of inspiring, helpful people worthy of thanks. But as Samwise Gamgee discovers via the Red Book of Westmarch, not everyone who offers their advice deserves fond acknowledgments...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,911 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/1/2007 - Samwise G., Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
In Hot Water by Nieriel Raina reviews
After walking and fighting for days, Legolas and Gimli finally find some respite some time after the Battle of Pelennor Fields. Unrelated to any series or other story.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,204 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/15/2007 - Published: 8/13/2007 - Legolas, Gimli - Complete
Fate: Who Kicked It and Made Him King? by MountainDewIsDeadly reviews
NoHBP LoTR xover later: Harry is depressed after OoTP, but something chages in the blink of an eye... LoTR starts as a fandom, but soon becomes much more...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,987 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 7/1/2006 - Harry P., Ron W.
Should've Thought of That One, Bori by Eggo Waffles reviews
We all wish that Boromir had survived Amon Hen, but have we ever considered the implications? Parody AU
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,546 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 1/26/2007 - Published: 5/3/2005 - Boromir
Getting to Know You by Budgielover reviews
A series of gentle stories about the forming of the Fellowship the 'getting to know you' period during which strangers become friends. I A Moment in the Morning in Bree, in which the hobbits observe a very strange habit of Men. II On the Road Out of Bree
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,420 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/29/2006 - Published: 1/21/2006 - Frodo B., Meriadoc B.
A Matter of Advertising by Mind in the Ankh reviews
Vetinari meets an old friend through the magic of L-space. Machiavelli's fish and chips stand doesn't stand a chance. Crossover with Lord of the Rings. Chapter 5: Finduilas is most upset with the Patrician.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,925 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/9/2006 - Published: 1/26/2005 - Vetinari, Denethor - Complete
The Morning After by Eggo Waffles reviews
All Faramir wants is a cup of tea. The rest of Middle earth, however, has other plans. Rated for Wanton Debauchery
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,499 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/13/2005 - Faramir - Complete
Fellowship of the Conkers by Llinos reviews
During a brief stop in Hollin, the hobbits find a way to beat the rest of the Fellowship at their own game.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,066 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 27 - Published: 10/20/2005 - Legolas, Samwise G.
The Importance of Being a Hobbit by Lamiel reviews
A Fellowship story. COMPLETE.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,186 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/26/2005 - Complete
So You Want to Write a Tolkien Fanfic? by SickleYield reviews
Humorous guide to writing like a neurotic misogynist Englishman. Not that I think all Englishmen are neurotic misogynists. I freely admit that all the neurotic misogynists I know are American. Complete with one or two expansions.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,331 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/15/2005 - Published: 9/13/2005 - Complete
Lost in Middle Earth by LATMC reviews
Hermione invents a time portal that can take people to other dimensions. When she, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, and Ginny, try it out, the portal malfunctions and Harry wakes up alone in the Shire. Can he find his friends and save Middle Earth? COMPLETE!
Book X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 39 - Words: 132,574 - Reviews: 580 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 9/5/2005 - Published: 1/30/2005 - Complete
All About Elrond by Erestor reviews
Elrond, saddened by the lack of meaningful angst about him, asks Erestor to write a tragic vignette. Pain, suffering, and gratuitous amnesia ensue. REVISED August '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,244 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/23/2005 - Elrond, Erestor - Complete
Comfort Me Not With Cookies by Raksha The Demon reviews
Being the condensed version of an epic tale that I would never, ever write! Faramir Angst! Legolas-passion! A plucky OFC! It's a movie-verse AU parody, for your viewing pleasure. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,387 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/31/2005 - Faramir - Complete
What Have Tomatoes Got to Do With Anything? by Eggo Waffles reviews
Recent studies show that if one watches RotK and then reads 'The Importance of Being Earnest' by Oscar Wilde, one will wake up at midnight and write something a bit like this.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/24/2005 - Denethor, Peregrin T. - Complete
The Black Gate Opens by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
The army of the West journeys to the Black Gates to offer battle. AU, based on movie canon. Follows 'The Siege of Minas Tirith' and parallels 'The Steward and the Queen'. Finished.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,863 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 16 - Updated: 1/10/2005 - Published: 12/12/2004 - Peregrin T. - Complete
Too Easy by kingmaker reviews
2005 Mithril Award Winner: Best Humour or Parody! A vast menace of despair... Why the Movieverse Witch King flew away before killing Gandalf, among other things, during the Battle of the Pelennor Fields.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,415 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 21 - Published: 12/29/2004 - Complete
Times of Trial by Erestor reviews
There’s nothing like a perfectly healthy and cheery Elf to make a sick mortal feel positively murderous... Everyone should write a Sick!Aragorn fic. This one is mine.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,637 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/18/2004 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Diversions by Erestor reviews
Aragorn is planning his attack on the Black Gate. Legolas states the obvious one too many times. This is dedicated to whoever wrote the screenplay for RotK. Slightly revised June '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/16/2004 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Entombed! by Erestor reviews
Aragorn and Legolas are in trouble again. Trapped in a cave, Legolas battles his phobias and Aragorn is just plain obnoxious. You know they can't always get along! REVISED October '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,996 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/4/2004 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Snow and the Seven Environmentalists by Erestor reviews
Erestor proudly presents the most beloved children’s classic of all time: Snow and the Seven Environmentalists! PLEASE NOTE: This is a parody of all things Disney.
Disney - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,264 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/20/2004 - Complete
This Too Shall Pass by Budgielover reviews
Complete. The Fellowship's mood is not improved by a series of pranks perpetrated by bored young hobbits. Legolas decides to teach the suspects a lesson.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,616 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/18/2004 - Legolas, Meriadoc B. - Complete
Falcon by Baylor reviews
Pippin had always wanted to make his father proud. Set during Return of the King.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/14/2004 - Peregrin T.
Scribblings by Baylor reviews
Glimpses of hobbit life. NEW: Bursting With Love, Cake is Cake is Cake, and Mathoms.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 12,280 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/6/2004 - Published: 5/8/2003
One by Erestor reviews
Gimli realizes that the counting game he plays with Legolas is more complicated than he thought. He says an oliphant only counts as one, and Legolas begs to differ... REVISED November '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 982 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/2/2004 - Gimli, Legolas - Complete
Of the Vacation by Kokui reviews
This is one of those 'Fellowship in Modern Times' things. But this has a lovely trip to Italy in it, planned by the most annoyingly adorible Hobbit, Pippin! Good thing he has Elvish and Adult supervision. Too bad they are just as immature as the Hobbit.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,773 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/20/2004 - Published: 6/21/2003 - Peregrin T., Legolas
Sweets and Secret Ingredients by Budgielover reviews
Chapter 2, "The Morning After" added. A lovesick Pippin seeks to make amends after his poem to Lady Arwen arouses Aragorn’s ire. His well-intentioned effort is regrettably not helped by the assistance of his fellow hobbits.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,131 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/22/2004 - Published: 5/8/2004 - Meriadoc B., Peregrin T.
The Care and Feeding of Hobbits by Baylor reviews
Ruminations on the Little People by Boromir, Man of Gondor. NEW CHAPTER: HOBBIT CUSTOMS AND CELEBRATIONS.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,649 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 578 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 6/15/2004 - Published: 11/17/2002 - Boromir, Peregrin T.
Looking for Work by Erestor reviews
A group of desperate characters meet in Legolas's house, the Mirkwood Mansion. What are they doing there? Looking for work, actually. REVISED November '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,201 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/9/2004 - Complete
The Coffee Plot by Erestor reviews
A man from Harad introduces coffee to Imladris. When Elrond accidentally samples some of it, we discover why Elves shouldn't have caffeine. Predictably, chaos ensues.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,718 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/29/2004 - Elrond, Erestor - Complete
Return of the Ranger by Erestor reviews
Aragorn and Legolas return to Rivendell injured after one of their adventures... and Elrond rants a little. REVISED May '06
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,082 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/20/2004 - Elrond, Aragorn - Complete
Conversation Revisited by sheraiah reviews
Sequel to 'The Conversation.' The elf, the dwarf, and the king indulge in drink and a contest. Non-slash
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,162 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/19/2004
Yada Yada Yada by Baylor reviews
Dark Lord, Ring, fiery mountain, long trip, yada yada yada.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 703 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/14/2004
Moments Say So Much by Evadne reviews
The Fellowship sometimes has some trouble getting along
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,072 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/9/2004 - Published: 10/16/2003 - Gandalf, Frodo B.
Gimli's First Axe by Erestor reviews
Gimli recieves his first axe. A very short story, written a while ago.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 371 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2004 - Gimli - Complete
Falling Out of Love by Marnie reviews
Legolas and Celeborn talk about Sea-Longing, and the lack of it. Written partly in response to the question about where Legolas and Gimli got their ship, once Cirdan was gone.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,178 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/11/2003 - Legolas, Celeborn - Complete
Havoc in Hollin by shirebound reviews
Somewhere in Hollin, at long last, the Fellowship's questions are answered: CAN Gandalf turn someone into something else? And, given enough provocation... WOULD he? A fun, lighthearted ficlet with contributions by Budgielover, Kit5, and many others!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,955 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2003 - Peregrin T., Gandalf - Complete
Dinner Guests by Salsify reviews
A somewhat catty look at the first official meeting of Elves and Dwarves.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,583 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Published: 9/10/2003
Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire by bryn bnw reviews
Prior to their journey, the Fellowship remained in Rivendell for two months. Let them not be accused of "lounging around." Botched scouting missions, misunderstandings, and enemies home and abroad. Proof that when in doubt, things can ALWAYS get worse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 141,110 - Reviews: 917 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/3/2003 - Published: 4/16/2002
Pippinlad by Marigold Cotton reviews
Four drabbles on Pippin’s early years. A companion piece to “Merry-lad,” by Baylor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 528 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/30/2003 - Peregrin T., Meriadoc B.
The Conversation by sheraiah reviews
Eavesdropping on a parent can be hazardous to your peace of mind, especially if you're an elf. COMPLETE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,381 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/28/2003 - Elrond - Complete
A Word of Caution Regarding Hobbits by Baylor reviews
Hobbits. No one ever warned me about hobbits. Post-ROTK.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,297 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/28/2003 - Legolas, Peregrin T.
Tea and Small Talk by Baylor reviews
In which Gandalf stops by Bag End, Pippin interrupts tea, and Bilbo is greatly concerned about the best dishes
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,026 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/22/2002 - Peregrin T., Gandalf
Hobbits Abroad by Marigold Cotton reviews
A summons from the King takes a group of hobbits to visit Minas Tirith where they learn some interesting things about their forebears. CHAPTER 4 - THE GAMES HOBBITS PLAY! WE MEET THE WHOLE FELLOWSHIP!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,578 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/10/2002 - Published: 11/9/2002 - Frodo B., Peregrin T.
If Women Had Ruled Middle-Earth by Mouse reviews
From Nerdanel to Arwen, they're all there: the Halls of Mandos Sewing Circle. And they've got a few opinions on the actions of their male counterparts.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,192 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/20/2002
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Not the Beard! reviews
Beards, and their impact on various members of the Fellowship. Ch 4: Teenage Aragorn comes to terms with his difference from the Rivendell elves, but can they? Ch 3: Young Gimli meets a human... something is missing. Ch 2: Young hobbits meet the mysterious Gandalf. Havoc is wreaked. Ch 1: A terrifying ordeal for a young Legolas (also starring Thranduil).
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,178 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/8 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli
Policing Middle Earth reviews
Vimes is Ankh Morpork's Ambassador to Middle Earth. As might be expected from the man who hates kings and Destiny, Middle Earth makes Vimes angry. Will he punch Aragorn in the nose? Will he learn a few things? Tune in for the latest!
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,386 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 4/27/2013 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Sam Vimes, Aragorn
Collective Nouns reviews
Ever wanted to know what the collective noun was for a group of Gondorians? So has Merry. A light-hearted little fic in which Merry asks Gandalf some questions.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 948 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Gandalf, Meriadoc B. - Complete
The Hobbit on Facebook reviews
What happened before the Lord of the Rings characters joined Facebook? Fifty years before, when Facebook was still new and exclusive, Bilbo Baggins made an account... Prequel to Fellowship of the Facebook/Two Notifications/Return of the Friend Request
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,466 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 3/6/2013 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Bilbo B., Gandalf
Hauntlets reviews
Boromir is dead. Aragorn takes something to remember him by... a short and rather silly fic.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,376 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Middle Earth Memoirs: Alternative LOTR titles from reviews
What would LOTR be called if it was written from the perspective of the characters? Here are some titles from the unpublished memoirs of Middle Earth
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 279 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Aragorn, Frodo B. - Complete
You Had it Lucky reviews
We all know how Boromir felt about the constant threat to Gondor. But he wasn't the only fellowship member who left their home to face the forces of darkness... A parody, starring all the Fellowship
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,433 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Boromir, Aragorn
Lord of the Facebook: Return of the Friend Request reviews
The Return of the King told through the characters' Facebook accounts. The third instalment of the Lord of the Facebook Statuses follows on from The Two Notifications and the Fellowship of the Facebook Status . Yes, Tolkien is spinning in his grave.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,852 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 12/11/2009 - Aragorn, Frodo B. - Complete
The Lord of the Facebook: The Two Notifications reviews
LOTR's The Two Towers, told through the characters' facebook accounts. A continuation of The Fellowship of the Facebook Status Updates by sweetypie15. Same author, but posted under a different account. UPDATE: Return of the Friend Request now up!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 8,264 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Frodo B., Aragorn - Complete
To Represent the Wizzards reviews
Discworld's Rincewind crashes into the Council of Elrond and Does Not Volunteer to join the Fellowship. One-shot. Lord of the Rings Discworld crossover. Honourable mention MEFA awards 2010 thanks people!
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,175 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Rincewind - Complete
Edward Cullen's psychological profile reviews
One-off. Edward Cullen's psychologist is concerned. Rated M for adult content not slash . Do not read if you like, totally, like, LOVE! Edward! Because he's like sooo perfect! Please RR. I wrote this for fun and also out of concern. disclaim: i don't own!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,323 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete