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Joined 08-22-09, id: 2057757, Profile Updated: 11-14-09
Author has written 5 stories for NCIS, Alex Rider, Harry Potter, and Twilight.

my name is Courtney Hansen

Im from the US did you know we are really stupid? take our callender for ex december deca means ten its the 12 month but really it was the Itallians (or Romans if you want to call them its the same)or to be more specific julias ceasars adopted son who did it (cant spell name will not try) that did that but we did not

i am my age haha you dont known and i will not tell you

goldfish are physic but they forget every 20 seconds haha dont try to understand me it will not work

facts about me are:

1. Im a REAL blond (in more ways than one)

2. Im slow (EX: one day i was walking with my boyfriend and the day befor he was sick. so we walked around school once together and then i relised he was there)

3. in love candy AND ICECREAM

4. i have a grayhound name smiles i call her smo-smo

5. i cant spell (thank god for spell check)

6. i am on the crew team it is REALLY HARD but fun if you dont know what crew is then it is the people with the paddles (called oars) and you row in it like a row boat but skinnier and longer and faster

7. i LOVE Japan it is the most awsomeist place ever!

8. i am forgetful

9. i am always tired

10. i have a magic hole it is in the middle of the ocean it has fire and if i want to go in it i will be able to breath but i dont normaly go in to it because every thing and everyone i hate/dont like will go into that hole

11. i am really weird

12. one of my fav song is pain


are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are on the top of the trees

The boys don’t want to reach

for the good ones because they

r afraid of falling and getting hurt

instead they get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren’t that good

but easy. So the apples up top think

something is wrong w/ them when in

reality they’re amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one whose

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

Favorite Quotes:

-“ Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable, we have to alter it every six months.”

- “That which doesn’t kill me had made a tactical error.”

- “ The best defense is a good offense.”

- “Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”

- “When Soubi is sad, he paints what he likes to see.”

- “To speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming.”

- “The greatest loss in life is not dying, but what dies inside us while we live.”

- “Dreaming of a world that’s stopped dreaming of me.”

- “Zombies have rights too.”

- “The Executioner is shorter than you expect.”

- “ Jeans and sneakers do not inspire confidence as ceremonial getup.”

- “Just because you’re human doesn’t mean you’re not one of the monsters.”

- “ Abstinence is easy for me. Temperance is not.”

- “ Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.”

-“ I always say beauty is sin deep.”

-“ I have a rendezvous with Death at some disputed barricade.”

-“ An atheist with a cross is a truly pitiful sight.”

-“ If you have to be anyone’s property, go with the people you know.”

-“ Screaming is for when you don’t have anything better to do.”

- “ Paranoia is just another word for longevity.”

-“ Never forget who your enemies are.”

-“ Everyone is cannon fodder. Eventually.”

- “ Fate is dictated by irony. Either that or a dark sense of humor.”

-“ AA is for quitters.”

-“ Wrist are for girls. I’m going for the neck.”

-“ In honor of the suit of broken hearts, Alice will now lop off the queen’s head!”

-“ For what we want most, there is a cost that must be paid in the end.”

- “ Revenge is best served cold.”

-“ May my A.P. Latin mid-term fall down the rabbit hole and drown in a sea of tears!”

-“ If I can’t live in a make believe world, can’t I at least pretend or write my own? UNQUESTIONABLY!”

-“ The root of evil is desire.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. / Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MUM
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying 'Damn... we screwed up... but that was fun!'
FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you !
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door of your house.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in your house and say 'I'M HOME!'
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are forever !
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk badly to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock out the person that talked badly about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will send this to all their real friends and hope to get it back!

Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy" (Haha, I tried this yesterday, and I think I broke my best friend) (according to the prophecy)

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

When I die, give my stash of Cookies to the Mailman. He works hard.

Stupid Last Words:

What does this button do?

It's probably just a rash.

Are you sure the power is off?

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

It's strong enough for both of us.

This doesn't taste right.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

Well, we've made it this far.

That's odd.

I'll just put my head in it to make sure.

Don't be so superstitious.

Now watch this.

Look Ma! No Hands!

Don't worry, It's not contagious

Of course it's safe

It can't get any worse...

There's only one way to find out_

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

It Runs In the Family by Written Saviour reviews
COMPLETE! Harry, beaten and abused, comes to Tim's place. The magical war is over. Adventures await the NCIS team. HP/NCIS crossover. HP/TM SLASH. AU after OOTP.
Crossover - Harry Potter & NCIS - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 33,223 - Reviews: 787 - Favs: 1,790 - Follows: 1,239 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Harry P., Tim M. - Complete
Ebony Flames by sushibird06 reviews
Sry no flock in this story, goes along the same lines as Twilight. What happens when a mysterious girl named Sage arrives in Forks, with all of her secrets in tow and a certain werewolf happens to meet her? Read to find out.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 44,617 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 10/5/2009
Feathers over Forks by Rogha reviews
Don't read this if you value your eyeballs.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 11,041 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 3/24/2010 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Max, Bella - Complete
Secrets Not Told by Jasper winked reviews
Name? Bella Swan. Age? 17 years. I think. Home? What ever flies by my fancy. Not that I can be picky. As of this second, it's Forks, if Your Highness wants to know. Little, tiny details that still manage to rule my life? Yeah... I have wings. DISCONTINUED
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,071 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Bella
Maximum ride and CHERUB by goldenrose37 reviews
Maximum ride and CHERUB crossover. What happens when they arrive at CHERUB? What about Itex? Is it all finished? destroyed? DON'T NEED TO HAVE READ CHERUB
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Cherub - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,585 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Max
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Not afraid reviews
she has been stuck with him for 10 years and she cant get out of the hell hole she is stuck in. she can however get them out so they can go to the poleice but will they make it in time or will they be to late to stop him?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,516 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/28/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Bella
New Girl In Town reviews
Au all human Bella is a trouble maker and a brat. Emmet is a jock who thinks he can get any girl he wants this is where our story begins.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,546 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 1/29/2010 - Bella, Emmett
the Reaper reviews
character death don't like don't read
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/29/2010 - Harry P.
I hate my life reviews
this is my first story alex rider jacks dead, he has no idea where he is, in the hand of who knows, all at the age of 15 Ncis crossover k-unit later it is better than it sounds will have more soon
Crossover - NCIS & Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Alex R./Cub
Alex' Problems reviews
im a girl, i have been engaged for 2 years, i am also a teen spy and i have been one since i was 14 years old most people think i am a guy. i am ALex Rider. do not pitty me or become my enamy you will regret it
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 24 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox