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Author has written 25 stories for Twilight.
I'll keep this short. My husband is having a few scary health problems and something weird is going on with me as well. We've been to all kinds of doctors and specialists and no one knows what it is, but suspect that it's some kind of new virus. Weird and scary. Due to this fact, I'm not gonna be in the right mindset for writing about 80% of the time. My brain just isn't up for it at this point in time. I'm not abandoning my stories, I'm just asking for your understanding and patience when I take a little longer to update.
Currently working on:
-Beta'ing the next chapter of Losing My Religion
-The next chapter of Dodgeball!
-An entry for the Curvacious and Bodacious Contest
Random shit about me (does anyone even read these things?):
-I am now posting my stories onbecause I'm paranoid that FFn will delete my stories. It's a really cool site, so go on and sign up!
-Check me out over at!
-I like updating my profile when I'm PMSing and have no clue why. Yes, I'm PMSing right now. *growls at you for asking*
-I wish people (i.e. teenagers) would stop writing me about how offended they are by I Suck At Summaries. It's clearly listed as Parody/Humor, so lighten the hell up. Damn!
-I really suck at replying to pm's. I always plan on replying, but then something happens and I forget and next thing I know, it's seven months later and I'm just now remembering about that pm. By that time, the sender of said pm has probably forgotten all about it, so I ponder whether to even write back or not... but then I forget that I'm pondering and twenty-three years later, I still haven't responded. I suck.
-In case you haven't figured it out by now, my memory is shit.
-If you didn't know already, coachlady1 is my baby mama, my beta, my other half and bedazzler extraordinaire. Read her shit. NAO.
-So, I'm a beta now. Apparently these two ladies trust my crazy ass to pretty up their stories. I beta arwen01's Bellsper fic, Losing My Religion and sometimes step in for her Carlisle/Bella, Saylon Dola. And blue77 writes the E/B parody How Are You Feeling Today? Check 'em out!
-*points to self* Proud, here! Join us in our swoonery over all things Jacksper. The Major makes us squeeeeee!
-I despise the word "anyways" and "whilst" makes my soul burn with fury. I'll immediately stop reading a story if I see either, no questions asked.
-I hate seeing Jasper as a Hale in AH fics and unless the story is really good, I most likely won't continue reading. Jasper was born Whitlock, not Hale. It irks me sofa king much when people call him Jasper Hale. Show the man some damn respect! *takes a deep breath and calms down*
-If a story is based in the US with American characters and they still use words like "colour," "centre" and "arse," I will stop reading with the quickness, no matter how good the story is. That shit right there is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.
-I'm 26 & married with a few chirrens running around.
-I'm socially awkward and make others around me feel uncomfortable. That's how awkward I am. :-/
-I live in the Bible Belt and hate it because most Christians suck.
-I cuss a whole fucking lot.
-I've been addicted to chapstick since my toddler years and always have at least two tubes on me at all times.
-I refuse to acknowledge the fact that Breaking Dawn exists. After reading that shit, my brain went into survivor mode and erased the entire book from my brain. The demon child NEVER happened.
-Kristen Stewart can't act for shit. That has nothing to do with me- just thought I'd throw it out there. I don't understand how she continues to land jobs. My theory? She's a witch. There's no other explanation.
-I'm a procrastinator, but I'm impatient. Contradiction: I haz it.
-Black Dagger Brotherhood pwns me.
-Wannaon the twitter?
Shit that I never want to see again or I'll stab my eyes out:
-"Thighs rubbing together for friction."
-A clit referred to as "nub" or "nubbin."
-"Waves cascading down her back."
-"Licking precum from the tip."
-Using precum as lube... (Seriously, if a guy has enough precum to lube up a cooch/ass, he needs to check into the nearest free clinic ASAFP, cuz something is wrong.)
-A woman being so wet that the shit is soaking her thighs and dripping into a puddle of cooch juice on the floor. (Fuckin' disgusting and I suggest speeding to the nearest Gynecologist right the hell now.)
-Buttsecks that mentions no use of lube. Shit like this is obviously written by a chick who's never had buttsecks, cuz I dare anyone to stick even a pinky finger in their asshole with no prep and see how uncomfortable that mess is. It ain't gonna work.
-One more fucking Jasper/Bella New Moon re-write. *headdesk*
-What's up with this new fascination with pinching and biting the clit, cuz I'm not understanding. That shit makes me cringe, because there's no way in hell that could ever feel good.
-Bella being a wimp/crying all the fucking time.
-Writers who feminize (yes, I made that up) their male characters. If you can't write like a man, keep your fic in the woman's POV.
The Trifuckta gave me the honorable title of Most Likely to Kidnap Jackson Rathbone! w00t!
TKegl is fuckin' awesome and makes me lots of purdy banners. Look! *hopping up and down*
-Three's Company, my collab with Kitty Cullen-03, won second place in the Public Lovin' Contest!
And it also won Best Lemon in the Single Shot Awards!
-This Summer won second place in the Alternate Shipper Contest!
-Too Much, my second fuckawesome brain melding with Kitty Cullen-03, won Judge's Pick in the Two is Better Than One Contest!
-TwistedInMasen made me this awesomefor The Virginity Pact!
-Ever since I began writing Bellsper stories, it's been my dream to make it into thiscommunity and I finally did! TWICE! Yippee! *does cartwheels all over the room*
Um... I don't know what else to add, so... *insert witty comment here*
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