demonqueen21
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Joined 08-30-09, id: 2067635, Profile Updated: 03-13-13
Author has written 16 stories for Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王!, Witch of Blackbird Pond, Loveless, Death Note, and Criminal Minds.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I only use the computer on every day that ends in y!

Admit it, it takes serious skill to trip over flat surfaces.

15 things you probably never knew or thought about...

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyones would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rude remarks.
14. Always tell soemone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Its funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
its funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
Its funny how forever never really seems to last,
its funny how much youd lose if you forgot about your past.
Its funny how friends can just leave you when youre down,
its funny how when you need someone theyre never around.
Its funny how people change and think theyre so much better,
its funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
Its funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
its funny how one night can contain so much regret.
Its funny how ironic life turns out to be

but the funniest part of all, none of thats funny to me.

when i'm smiling, it doesn't mean i'm happy, when i laugh it doesn't mean its funny. so know me better then judge me

If slaughter houses had glass walls we would all be vegitarians

When people complain about life being bitter, i just wonder why do most of them drink coffee. (no offense to coffee lovers)

life needs humor, life needs love, life needs best friends who aren't afraid to hug

make new friends but keep the old, one is silver the other is gold

everybody wants happiness
nobody wants pain
but you can't have a rainbow
without a little rain

All You Are Now Is Just A Memory . But What I Really Wanted Was For You To Be My Everything

Sometimes I want to put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down

Don't Cry,
because someone is falling in love with your eyes.
Don't Scream,
because someone is falling in love with your voice.
Don't Frown,
because someone is falling in love with your smile.
Don't Hide,
Because someone out there is looking for you

As soon as you get online...
whos name do You look for first?
When a Slow Song Comes On The Radio--
Whose Face comes To Your Mind first?
When You Hear Your Phone Ringing...
Who Do You Hope it is callin?
Whose name...
Makes Your Heart skip a beat?

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of
questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a
few seconds,
She is not at all fine
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it
When a GIRL says that she can't live
without you,
She has made up her mind that you are
her future
When a GIRL says "i miss you",

No one in this world can miss you more than that.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, some dog, one dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

Everytime the pain gets unbearable
u pick up a knife
i cant recall how many times you've attepmted to end ur life.
but the cuts werent deep enough
the pills were too weak
now sweetie, tell me if your happy ur w/ him
or happy to finally be free

I wish it would rain all day
i'll never be happy
you were everything i wanted
thought i was everything you needed
but once again i was made a fool out of
and once again the person that fooled me could care less

they ask me what I see in you and I smile, look down, and say nothing because I don't want them to fall in love with you too...

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter

It's hard to tell yourself that you aren't in love, when the only time you smile is when you think about the one who broke your heart

The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned

I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a lifetime of not knowing you

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind I would say once because you never really left

I have dreams. i have dreams bigger then my mind can even begin to put together right now. but im going to accomplish my dreams. i dont know when, and i dont how. but i know that ima do it, and i know i'll be proud

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind

When your in love you cant fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

I may not be the most important person in your LIFE.
I just hope that when you hear my name you smile and say
THAT ' S MY FRIEND!

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin' "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'It's because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!!


15 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE!!
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Run into walls.
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I’m a retard"
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"
10. Do what they actually tell you.
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.
13. At everything they say yell, Liar.
14. Try to swim in the floor.
15. Tap on their door all night.

To Every Girl:

To every girl that is SCARED to
put her heart out there again,
because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl that has been
cheated on,
because she's not a slut
who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that
dresses cute,
not skanky.

To every girl who
just wants to be called
beautiful.

To every girl that will spend her
whole day looking
for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he
chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once
like to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought:
"Maybe this one could be the one."

To every girl who is just
looking for that one and
only. and is having a rough
time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want
a guy who just plays with her
emotions but actually cares about
how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.
Never again.

To every girl that has faith that
"tomorrow will be a better day."
And it will be.

If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To Every Girl:"

im in heaven when im with you

The worst thing in the world is when you are stupid enough to think that the guy you love would even like you back

Your Feelings
I Cant Help But
Rape Them
I'm Sorry
I Dont Feel The Same...

So Scared Of Getting Close To
Someone
Because Every Person That Ever Said
"I'll Be There"
[Left...]

i wish
Sometimes that i was a little kid again.
So when life gets tough
you can just play pretend.
I wanna go back to when
Santa did exist.
When your daddy
was the only boy you ever kissed.
When Disney World
was the best place to be.
When the only movies you could see were rated G.
When your biggest problem
was learning to write your name
and people didn't change...
and your friends were the same.
And every time you were sad
or you had a bad day.
You could just run to mommy
and it would all be okay.
I wanna go back to no hurt...
and no pain...just laughter.
when everyone,
LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. 'What should Tai say if he woke up and saw he was in Sora's body...?')

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)


9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a* to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Lessons in Life

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's okay to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's okay to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. smile

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

"A REAL FRIEND IS ONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN
THE REST OF THE WORLD WALKS OUT

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. (so not true)

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been received.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.


If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile

Love knows no gender, age or color. If you totally agree with me, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to KICK someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

Weird is the same as different, different is the same as unique, and unique is good therefore weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

The recipe of life

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

98 of teens have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this & paste it in your profile.

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile. (this is actually really fun!!

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. (I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile


Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Notice that on the keyboard, 'U' and 'I' are together, now look under it and notice the letters 'J' and 'K'

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

Things I can't do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

I wonder how many people will read this, and I wonder how many will care, If I drop off the face of the Earth, Because I was brave enough to dare, A single razor, Can do so much damage, How many will care if I die?

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship...and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd Numbers) So..Please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet... :)

15 Things to do in Walmart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

4. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

5. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

6. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

7. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

8. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

9. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended.

10. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

11. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

12. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

13. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

14. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

15. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow
Today was Daddy's Day at school
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet
Children squirming impatently,
Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,
Each student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one"
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offened her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
"My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart."
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year.

When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closes her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they say before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy."
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Oh but that saves so much time!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be...)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with head colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(And I'm taking this why?)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what? No doors?)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Captain Obvious strikes again)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

(friend told me this one)

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

43 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.
43. Get a friend and make up a stupid rhyme. Then one of you is in there and the other comes in and you do the rhyme until either you have finished or the security had come to get you out.

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place...

Which One Are You?
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm SCENE, so i MUST wear tight pants
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm MEXICAN so I MUST be illegal.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a nice ass.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I GET GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be the best
I'm a SKATER so i must be a dumbass
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK for fun.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so i must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be sexy.
I'm GUYANESE so we must run things.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black=
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm CATHOLIC so I MUST be cool.
I'm TAKEN so I MUST be pretty

I am Thankful :

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name "Rock Hard".

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot,Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

A little something I thought had to be added:

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you love yaoi/shounen-ai, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have attempted Alchemy by clapping, snapping, or by drawing an array, copy and paste this in your signature. (I have actually done all 3...)

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, Howl To The Moon, Nayeli, mochiusagi, darkablino, drarythoughts,seventhSINwrath, kayleigh24, krtn-ise, demonqueen21 are obsessed with fan fiction. copy this into your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Trouble with ApronsThere's Too Many Uses by BananaMilknCherrydecaf reviews
SEQUEL TO THE TROUBLE WITH APRONS. What will happen after Usagi-san's suggestive statement? What happens when they return to the store?
Junjō Romantica - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,222 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/17/2010 - A. Usami, Misaki T. - Complete
Bath Time Shenanigans by IAmNotASardine reviews
Ciel never knew how difficult it could be to take a simple bath. Oneshot.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,081 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Ciel P., Sebastian M. - Complete
Intensity by mrtysh reviews
Despite his obvious indignation, Misaki simply chuckled. After all, he could save the most graphic intensity for the mattress. --Romantica Akihiko/Misaki yaoi oneshot, lemon, mild PWP.
Junjō Romantica - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,126 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Misaki T., A. Usami - Complete
Stages by Kyla45 reviews
“ Misaki. I’d like you to kiss me.” And so it goes. Oneshot. Usami & Misaki
Junjō Romantica - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,463 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/9/2010 - A. Usami, Misaki T. - Complete
Swordplay by pyrrhicvictoly reviews
In which Yuuri and Conrad are being awkwardly perverted at each other. Yuuri's sword has a mind of its own, both literally and figuratively speaking. Wink. Nudge.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,765 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/24/2010 - [Yuri S., Conrad W.] - Complete
Claimed by little.pink.raspberry reviews
Maou x Conrad x Yuuri - Oneshot. Yuuri/Maou has been sneaking into Conrad's room at night, unconsciously? Concerned Gwendal is worried. Rape alert, people, with Conrad feeling dubious.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,657 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Sick Day by Sea Queen reviews
Yuuri gets back from Earth, but he’s having a hard time trying to convince the others that he’s fine. ConYuu, one-shot
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,764 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Yuri S., Conrad W. - Complete
Among the Trees by LaCelia reviews
Another trip to Shin Makoku leaves Yuuri wet and cold in an unfamiliar forest. When Conrad comes to retrieve him, Yuuri is placed in a situation where he must become the protector while dealing with surfacing feelings he barely understands. ConYuu.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,164 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Yuri S., Conrad W. - Complete
Impromptu Trip by Sea Queen reviews
Yuuri is transported to the other world, but ends up in dangerous territory. How will he and Conrad survive in the hostile environment where they are being chased by the enemy? ConYuu
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,242 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/6/2009 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Holding Out for Hope by artemis-nz reviews
Yuuri surrenders himself in place of another and is consequently captured. Can Conrad and the others rescue him before it is too late? Conrad/Yuuri.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,061 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 12/17/2008 - [Yuri S., Conrad W.] - Complete
Dog Days by Sillvog reviews
Conrad has been sent to earth to protect Yuuri, only problem is, he's been turned into a dog and Yuuri has yet to find out. Con/Yuu. Rating may go up in the future.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,875 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 11/28/2008 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Conrad W., Yuri S.
Child's Play by LaCelia reviews
Yuuri knew that today wasn’t going to be his day the moment he woke up and saw that it was raining. Blood Pledge Castle is baffled and Conrad is placed in an unusual position and Yuuri is even more oblivious than usual. ConYuu.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,082 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10/6/2008 - Published: 9/21/2008
A Scouting Trip by artemis-nz reviews
Conrad allows Yuuri to accompany him on a scouting trip. At least, that's what it was meant to be. Conrad/Yuuri.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,183 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008 - [Yuri S., Conrad W.] - Complete
Not Again! by 01JJL reviews
CONYUU! YAOI! Dun like, Dun read. Well anyways, its about Yuuri, he woke up in Conrad's bed, next to a naked Conrad, and he himself is naked. Conrad is somewhat aggressive.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Yuri S., Conrad W. - Complete
Feverish by Vanessa S. Quest reviews
ConYuu. He thought he didn't feel right! Yuri finds himself alone with Conrad and with a rather nasty fever, too bad Yuri loses his inhibitions when he's sick! What to do especially when he's all alone with his knight Conrad... Again, ConYuu. Please R&R!
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,175 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
A Dance in Slow Motion by Piru-tan reviews
The road to intimacy is not a journey of love nearly as much as it is one of trust. Conrad x Yuuri, NC17.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,965 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

No Idea reviews
PWP Drabble with Conrad and Yuuri as the stars.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Dessert reviews
Morgan takes Reid on a special dinner date.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/23/2011 - D. Morgan, S. Reid - Complete
Dead reviews
Yaoi Lace Death. this is the re-remake of the original dead. now its a story for all you haterz jk
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Gunter vK., Yuri S. - Complete
This can't be Happening to Me reviews
Life with Light through Misa's eyes.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 436 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/2/2011 - Light Y., Misa A.
As Far As I Can Go reviews
Looking at you now I'm feeling so sad I realize I'm alone You're what I could've had
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Mental reviews
Yuuri gets attacked and conrad helps him through it. although yuuri cant very much accept his help. read to find out why... dun dun DUN!
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,891 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/25/2010 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Yuri S., Conrad W.
Ferris Wheel reviews
This is what happened after ep 11 in my opinion. Fluff Mild spoiler alert this story is for sweetpea12767 :D
Loveless - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Ritsuka A., Soubi A. - Complete
Hide N' Seek reviews
the family play hide n seek. what becomes of the 2 fathers when they hide together?
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Wolfram vB., Yuri S. - Complete
Cheated reviews
yuuri sees conrad cheating
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 563 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Yuri S., Conrad W. - Complete
Week Of Trouble reviews
It is an AU of kkm. Wolfram and Yuuri hook up, but the date goes wrong. i do not own kkm.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,155 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Yuri S., Wolfram vB.
KKM Spoof
its a funny spoof off of kkm. happy holidays! i do not own kkm
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 479 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Yuri S. - Complete
The Ending reviews
What happens after the book ends? read and find out.
Witch of Blackbird Pond - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,269 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Complete
Bearbees do Wonders reviews
wolfram and yuuri have a spat and conrad cheers yuuri up
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete
Work reviews
Yuuri finishes his papers and gwendal gives him another job to do.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 821 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Yuri S., Gwendal vV. - Complete
Lessons reviews
Yuuri asks gunter for lessons. he get taught special stuff. *hint hint*
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 912 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/29/2009 - Yuri S., Gunter vK. - Complete
Snowstorm reviews
yuuri gets attacked and sent to the demon kingdom. but he gets ill and conrad comes to the rescue. does he get a reward for helping yuuri? hehe read and find out. i do not own kyo kara maoh.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,282 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Conrad W., Yuri S. - Complete