Paranoise
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-31-09, id: 2068362, Profile Updated: 11-23-12
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter, Star Trek: 2009, Avengers, and Artemis Fowl.

Hey guys! I just wanted to say I'm so sorry I haven't been updating for almost a year now. It's not fair to my faithful readers and reviewers, but I can't promise I'm goig to continue any of my stories. I had storylines planned out for each f them and if anyone wants to adopt one it would be appreciated. Life has just gotten crazy lately, and I barely have time between home, school, and working on my own original book for fanfiction anymore. I'm so sorry to anyone waiting for updates, but at this point all I can say is they're going to be few and far in between if at all. I love you all and I'm proud to be a part of such a great community, and once again I apologize.

Name: I'm not allowed to say. The government is very secretive about their experiments.

Age: On Mondays I'm 60, on Tuesdays I'm 35, on Wednesdays I'm 28, on Thursdays I'm 30, on Fridays I'm 14, On Saturdays I'm 18, and on Sundays I'm 20

Birthday: 05/09

Sex: Female

School Year: So I finally realized its probably rather easy to guess my age from my grade. Yay, genius me.

Height: 5' 11" or something close to it

Hair: Mousy brown, super curly frizzy hair. Turns blond in summer.

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Drawing, Synchronized Swimming

Siblings: 1 22 year old sis, 1 12 year old brother, 1 2 year old sister.

Stuff I Suppose You Should Know:

I believe love has no barriers, and will not tolerate any homophobia. Period.

I do not like book characters. I love them. A LOT.

I love cats. I finally got a second one after the tragic death of my first. Tihs one's name is Wilbur.

I am love Japanese. Its just such a cool culture, and the language itself is fascinating!

I have an irratinal fear of public bathrooms ever since reading HP 2 at the age of 6.

I have a phobia of the dark.

I have 5 OCs that I use more than once:

Dallas: Blue eyes, Pink hair, wears red jacket with the hood up to hide dye job, 6'0, anti social beyond belief, uses twin pistols when fighting

Twix: First to be created, short, sweet tempered, orange hair, green eyes, uses broken piece of pipe to fight (see Russia from Hetalia if you don't get it)

Dorian: Vampire #1, blue eyes turn red when hungry, pale (cuz, y'know, Vampire...), black hair slight narcissist, enjoys clubs, in relationship with Tristen

Tristen: Vamp #2, came about while writing a book about Dorian, sociopath with feelings (but not a highly functioning sociopath, cuz I'm one of those), pale green eyes, silvery blonde hair, obsessive in a relationship with Dorian

Todd: kinda short for a guy, reddish brown hair, grey eyes, pale (he stays inside a lot cause of stuff), is really bad with emotions, likes swords, has hallucination of himself (he's not really a hallucination. Its hard to explain) called the General. Brother: Q, Nemesis: Di, Di and Q are best friends

So, I occasionally use these guys as random side characters or something so be on the look out for them

Pet Peeves:

Spoilers make me mad.

Fairytale endings in action novels. Ex. The Hunger Games. Just, ugh.

Fave Pairings:

Draco M./ Harry P.

LV/HP (I don't care if it's impossible, those two have a connection! Literally!)

Quirrel/ Voldemort (Oh, AVPM)

Alec/ Magnus (One of the only Canon's I support)

Aladdin/Mozenrath

Tom Riddle/OC

Spock/Kirk

William/Grell


MY COMPUTER CRASHED AND I LOST ALL MY STORIES. I AM SORRY IT TAKES ME SO LONG TO UPDATE, BUT I HAD EVERYTHING INCLUDING PLOT ON THERE AND AS MUCH AS I REMEMBER, I NEED TO REDO. SOORRRRYYYYY!!!!!


If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If a tree has ATTACKED YOU (falling branches) put this in your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Copy and paste this if you have ever said "Like" twice in one senence.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

IM A SMIDIOT (smart-idiot) AND PROUD OF IT! If you are a smidiot paste this on your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.

If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (Chocolate? WHO SAID CHOCOLATE?!).

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did


Defying Gravity

Da rules:

1. put your ipod on shuffle

2.for each question, press the next button to get your answer

3. put the first song you get down. no matter how silly it sounds

What is your motto?

IDGAF (Haha, too perfect)

what do your friends think of you?

Miracle

what do you often think about?

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

what is 22?

Time Warp (duh)

what do you think of your best friend?

When You're Gone

what do you think about the person you like?

Aerodynamic

what is your life story?

Love Comes (Upon reevaluation, I'm realising that could be a bad thing)

what do you want to be when you grow up?

What is This Feeling?

What do you think when you see the person you like?

Crescendolls

What do your parents think of you?

Snape v. Snape

What will you dance to at your wedding?

Take it Off (...I'm so filming my wedding.)

What will they play at your funeral?

Despartar (Even the name sounds sad! But as I am a self proclaimed immortal this has no relevance!)

What is your hobby/interest?

Your Fault/Last Midnight

What is your biggest secret?

Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire Cusimo & Co. Speedy Mix (...How did it know!?)

What do you think of your friends?

I'm Still Here (That's depressing)

what is the worst thing that could happen?

Waka Waka

How will you die?

Agony (Into the Woods) (...Oh, Sh!t)

What is the one thing you will regret?

Akuno Musume (Daughter of Evil)

What makes you laugh?

Everyone's a Little Bit Racist (Haha, that's funny)

What makes you cry?

True Stories (If they're unbearably sad)

Will you ever get married?

Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire (I'll take that as a "Yes, to a sexy vampire!" ((But not Edward. EEEWWWW!!!))

What scares you the most?

7 Things (I don't even know why I have this song...also, what are these seven things?)

Does anyone like you?

Le Disko

If you could go back in time, what would you change?

Butterfly 09 (United Forces Airplay Edit)

What hurts right now?

Gryffindor Rally Cry (It's true! I'm the worst Slytherin ever!)

What will you post this as?

Defying Gravity (Wicked)


Butterfly (Vocal DDR Version)

Da rules:

1. Choose a playlist (Preferably one with 20 or more songs)

2. put your ipod on shuffle

3.for each question, press the next button to get your answer

4. put the first song you get down.

Playlist: Follow Me Down

What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

What is This Feeling?

Where's your favorite place to travel?

Muita Bobeira

What do you think of your family?

Alice (Exactly! Those evil enigmas!)

What does your family think of you?

Akuno Meshikutai (Servant Of Evil) (Haha, yea that's actually true)

Quick! Whats 15x4?!

Distance (...heheheh...)

How do you feel about the season summer?

Harder Better Faster Stronger (Yep!)

What do your friends think of you?

Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire (...My friend called sexy and a vampire last week...)

What do you think about your friends?

S my D (...Stop reading my mind! JK I love them!)

How do you feel about school? (whether your finished or still in it)

If You Were Gay

What will you post this as?

Butterfly (Vocal DDR Version)


Another one ;)

What Do You Do With A BA in English/ It Sucks To Be Me

Instructions: Put your ipod or music player on shuffle and the song that pops up is the answer to each question:

What song describes me?

Sweet Transvestitte

How do I see myself?

So Happy (A little TOO happy)

What is it like when you're frustrated?

Alice

How Do I Express Myself?

What Are You Waiting For?

What do my friends really think of me?

Muita Bobeira

How is my life going right now?

We Are Young (Oh, gosh now I'm sad. I don't want to grow up!)

What will my life be like?

Distance

How can I make myself happy?

My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada (...0.0...)

What should I do with my life?

Harder, Better, Faster, Stonger

What is some good advice for me?

S my D (LOL)

What is my favorite song?

Digital Love (It's cute)

What is it you're thinking right now?

No Good Deed (...maybe... you have no proof!)

What are you doing right now?

Strut

Do people secretly lust after me?

For Your Entertainment (haha, I like that)

What type of men/women do I like?

If You Were Gay (That is the Second question that has hinted I am gay)

Will I get married?

This Is Halloween

What would you sing to your significant other right now?

Hello Little Girl (...Three...)

What is my signature dancing song?

Trannylicous (Does that count as four? Damn it!)

What is my current theme song?

D.A.N.C.E

How will I die?

Agony (Why do they all say that?!)

How will I be remembered?

Low

What song will play at my funeral?

Numa Numa

What song will play at my wedding?

Miracle (Omg, to perfect!)

What song will play at my graduation?

Revolution (Hecks yea! I shall rule the world!)

What kind of friends you have?

Agony (Reprise)

What type of family you have?

Aerodynamic (...Hell to the no!)

What is your broken heart song?

Butterfly (Perfect!)

What song will play when you falling in love at first sight?

One Step Beyond

What song do you sing at your friend's birtday party?

Your Fault/ Last Midnight (Interesting.)

What song will play when you go into your favorite club?

Le Disko

What will you post this as?

What Do You Do With A BA in English/ It Sucks To Be Me


Whats your favorite color?:

Pink

Who Do you like better? Edward or Jacob?:

Blech, neither

Do you like Twilight?:

I used to. but then the movies taught me just how bad the books actually were. And that Rob is a horrible actor.

Where do you live?:

In a State In the U.S. In the world In the Universe...

But I wish I was at Pigsfarts...

Where are you? Like right now?:

My room

Do you like mean reviews?:

Not unless they're constuctive

Do you like Jace?:

Yeah he's funny :) but sometimes gets on my nerves, like when I really want to be reading about Magnus and Alec. Because they're just too cute!!!

Do you like Simon?:

Yes

Do you like Alec?:

Of course!

How would you describe yourself?:

Insane

Do you prefer men or women?:

Well, seeing as I've never had a relationship with either, how should I know?

What music do you listen to?:

Everything

What Music Do You Listen to when you write/type?:

I don't really. It's kind of distracting.

What is your favorite book?:

The Mortal Instruments, Harry Potter, The Outsiders (My forever love is a book), and I'm sure their are more but I can't remember.

Favorite couple/pairing?:

Stony! I salute you Stark Spangled Banner!

Favorite Band?:

MCR and Linkin Park

Favorite Singer?:

Gerard Way

Red or Pink?:

Pink!

Socks or no socks?:

No socks :)

Black or Blue?:

Black, cause it goes with everything! Even blood *drool* ...Did I say blood? I meant red!

All American Rejects or Escape the Fate?:

All American Rejects

Flats or sneakers?:

Sneakers are great for quick getaways ;p

Drawing or writing?:

Damn thats a hard one...uh I dont know! I love both :)

Fanfiction or Facebook?:

Fanfic, duh!


Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, thnku4thevenom, Ceriadara, Arsinen, RussiansNekojinlover, Kitten Koneko, Grimm018, I.am.not.a.vampire. Paranoise

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI/YURI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo's
I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.
I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile

(Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile

Awesome qoutes:

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD or MOM and Grampa, Gramps.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN" we f up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIEND: Loses your shit and tells you,"My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only knows a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: While kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "B drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste that s!"

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been called odd at least once a week for the past school year and you are proud of it copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know somebody who you are willing to swear is a child in a grown-up's body copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are constantly frustrated about kids who refuse to learn and cause trouble for teachers copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate hypocrites and are one yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have friends of the opposite gender as well as your own copy and paste this in your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (When I read a book, I see it in my head like I'm watching a movie.)

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on:If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: BosBaBe (Alucard ( I think he's soooo hot!), Artemis Fowl (He will always be my most fav character, and he will always have a place in my heart!), Jack Caffery, Luke Papadupolous (my own creation, found in my story Artemis Fowl and the Undercover operative) ) HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh...and PRINCE CASPIAN.), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still)), some crazy girl who likes pie (Um... My friend's in love with Firestar, does that count? lol, no, jk. (Even though she is) Anyway, SETH TIS BE MIIIIIIINE!! Actually, I'm sharing him with a friend, BUT I'M NOT SHARING HIM WITH YOU!, AH4EVER (Artemis fowl and Edward Cullen)Holls gaurdian angel: Sakura Haruno from Naruto. Holly Short from Artemis Fowl (Duh), Paranoise, let's see, there was Artemis Fowl, Draco Malfoy, Tom Riddle, Tasuki (Fushigi Yuugi), Nakago (FY), Tatsuki (Hands Off!), Murtagh, Captain Kirk, Spock, Magnus Bane, Spock, Grell(in a platonic-ish way)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dead Men Tell No Tales by Bloodypleasures reviews
After faking his own death, Alfred boarded a pirate ship under the belief it was a safe supply ship. Now he has a choice; either join the Emerald Dragon's crew, or drown in the seas trying to swim to land… Hiatus
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 44,447 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 8/12/2011 - England/Britain, America
He's Mine! by HyperFox3176 reviews
spock and bones start the fight of the decade. this is pure crack, so just have fun!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 777 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/14/2015 - Published: 1/20/2010 - J. Kirk
Oxygen by Tawny The Disturbed reviews
Oxygen. An element. Literally, everyone needs it and most take it for granted. Figuratively, some need it more than others. A Warren/Will slash. Rated M for swearing, violence and intensely intimate themes...Wipe that drool off of your chin.
Sky High - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 219,405 - Reviews: 957 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 9/9/2014 - Published: 1/22/2011 - William S./Will, Warren P. - Complete
A Soulless Solace by Angstier reviews
• "Could you possibly be feeling sorry for Lord Voldemort?" -Dumbledore, p264 of -Brit- HBP. Alternative Half-Blood Prince ending with TMR/HP. Romance, dreams, obsessions, possessing… Dark!Harry. No time-travel. Obsessions with Malfoy, broken trio. Hr/R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 20 - Words: 149,893 - Reviews: 651 - Favs: 1,184 - Follows: 1,565 - Updated: 8/18/2014 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
How to Completely Freak Out Galbatorix by Dragonsrule18 reviews
51 ways to turn our favorite evil king Galby more insane than he already is. Full title was too long for the title box. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,994 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/21/2014 - Published: 11/30/2009 - King Galbatorix
I Missed You by Word-Spitting-Dragon reviews
Almost a year mourning his death and what do I find? The little prat isn't even dead! All that worry for what! And he didn't even have the nerve to tell me? I do believe its time for that revenge I'm always going on about... NatXBart
Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 48,534 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 12/5/2013 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Bartimaeus, Nathaniel
The Dead, the Broken, and the Living by Kitsune Heart reviews
Ever since Holly and Artemis met, their lives have been entwined. This does not guarantee a happy ending. One event in their lives, following three paths, could mean the difference between horror, adventure, and romance. Enemies, friends, and lovers.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Fragments by XMistressChaosx reviews
At the age of eight Cato is presented a servant slave that will attend to his every need and/or whim. At the age of six Peeta Mellark is sold to the Scipio's and given to the eldest male child. In doing so, their destinies become intertwined. T-M
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,735 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 6/19/2013 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Cato, Peeta M.
Tributes by TheAvalonian reviews
Hunger Games AU: In a twisted game where death seems the only certainty, Merlin will find himself tested in ways no one could have ever predicted - and may even find himself fighting for more than just his own life as he enters into an unlikely alliance with the Career tribute poised to win it all. Merlin x Arthur.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 90,679 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 3/25/2013 - Published: 2/17/2013 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Trying for Eden by Kasey D reviews
The first time Tom met Harry, there was a rabbit hanging in the rafters. slash, het, time-travel, slow-moving HP/TMR
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 69,514 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 584 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Not a Servant by ROSSELLA1 reviews
An old enemy of Henry's returns, angry with him for killing his own kind. When he kidnaps Abe to try and get Henry to stop, can Henry rescue his friend and prove once and for all that he's not a servant? Under revision.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,820 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/30/2012 - Published: 3/24/2012
Something Wicked This Way Comes by LaylaBinx reviews
Abe had been missing for three days. Lots of Abe!whump and Abe/Henry bromance! :D
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,922 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/29/2012 - Published: 7/29/2012
Adult Education by Reigen Doki reviews
Academy AU. They wanted Jim to grow up and take on real responsibility, too bad no one in the school was prepared for it. When Jim starts teaching a class, he throws the entire Academy into chaos. Can Spock help Jim with his problems and help the school? Will Jim even give this stranger the time of day? See how Jim matures or if he crashes and burns and how the school handles it.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,209 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 5/30/2012 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
A Snake Named Voldemort by estalita11 reviews
COMPLETE After being turned into a snake and unable to change back, Lord Voldemort is forced to turn to the only other living Parselmouth, Harry Potter. After making a deal, Harry agrees to help the Dark Lord return to his human form. SLASH HP/LVTMR
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 185,074 - Reviews: 2969 - Favs: 6,683 - Follows: 3,332 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Better Teamwork Through Dragon Hunting by LulaMadison reviews
One redemption arc later, and Loki is no longer the enemy, but Thor is the only Avenger who trusts him. Odin requests the Avengers' presence on Asgard & orders a very reluctant Loki to bring them. Thor is delighted - inter dimensional road trip! Magnificent quests! The perfect bonding experience for his BFFs & brother! Everyone else... less so. Teamfic. No pairings or warnings.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,211 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 542 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 6/20/2012 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Loki, Thor - Complete
A Different Kind of Worship by vickyblueeyez reviews
K/S: Worshiping gets a whole new meaning when Kirk, Spock and McCoy beam down to a planet with an interesting custom. Please fave if you liked. Ty
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,694 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/1/2012 - J. Kirk, Spock, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Baby Isabella goes to the Volterra by emily007 reviews
Bella was taken away from here parents when she was 2 years old and was brought to Italy. This story will have romance, maybe even a little drama and cuteness!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 27,706 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Bella, Afton
The Substitute by fermataoso reviews
His eyes scanned her again, and he smirked. "Well, you clearly didn't dress up for Boq. Not with heels like those. Sex-y."
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 51,030 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Complete
The Daisy List by BunnyJones reviews
Jack is dying; the weak little human caught in a fight build for super heroes and his time is finally running out. No one seems to care. And frankly Jack just wants a little bit of peace in his final few days so he disappears. Then suddenly everyone cares and is fighting to keep him alive, even Chase, who's haunted Jack's dreams for so long. And then...Dashi?
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,131 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Jack, Chase
Summer Camp by Revolutionary Unicorn reviews
Summer Camp for the Hetalia boys? That can only mean a summer full of pranks, drama, camp activities, ghost stories and... love? We'll see. Rated for; probable smut, bad language and who knows what else.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 25,227 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 9/4/2011 - America, England/Britain
Vocaloid: Origins by Kitteekill reviews
See how ita ll began from Daughter of Evil to the Re-Birthday! Deadly love triangles, a servant who's a little less obedient than he seems, and a revenge that very well may change everything.
Vocaloid - Rated: T - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/3/2011 - Published: 9/24/2011
I'm Hearing Voices And They Aren't The Fun Kind by OrangePlum reviews
After getting a concussion, Alfred can't stop seeing a figment of his imagination, Arthur. But when Arthur won't go away, he is sent to get professional help. How can he possibly get better when his Russian therapist is even more bonkers than he is?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,407 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011 - America, England/Britain
Tales of Invader Potter and the Whitestone School by War292004 reviews
What happens when the characters of Harry Potter, Invader Zim, and Tales of Symphonia come together and end up in the same school for a year? Total insanity, the staple of ToIPatWS! Hundreds of misadventures await within these freshly edited chapters!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,242 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/26/2011 - Published: 12/4/2005 - Complete
Why Is This Wrong? by Quirrelmort reviews
Quirrel/Voldemort. A Very Potter Musical inspired the idea of a sort of "bromance". I wanted to try writing my own. This is my first fanfic. Please tell me if I should continue.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,608 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Q. Quirrell, Voldemort
Alagaesia Goes Crazy by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
COMPLETE Randomness shall reign supreme when Star Wars, Inheritance Cycle, Lord of the Rings, Percy Jackson, and Harry Potter characters unite to unleash random havoc upon Alagaesia and the galaxy far far away, with the help of three insane authoresses...
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 64 - Words: 178,651 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 6/18/2011 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Eragon S., Saphira - Complete
Pleasant Dreams by Cocobunny79 reviews
While Harry sleeps, Tom Riddle contemplates how Harry Potter defeated him that night at Godric's Hollow.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,211 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Tom R. Jr., Harry P. - Complete
Just Another Ordinary Day by sussiekitten reviews
AU - What to do when you have an insanely protective big brother and all you want to do is to step outside? Here's Eragon's answer and the consequences of his actions. Mild M/E slash, Incest hints. (THIS STORY IS NOT ABANDONED. THE AUTHOR IS JUST VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW. UPDATES WILL COME SOON)
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,393 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Eragon S., Murtagh
Blind Colour by KazunaPikachu reviews
Zim realizes the importance of colour in a world full of choas. After meeting a colour-blind girl, he realizes that if their sight of colour was taken away, the humans would be putty in his hands. But can Zim himself realize the beauty colours could give?
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,675 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Zim, Dib - Complete
Truth or Dare? by TheFatalIllusion reviews
When unusual circumstances leave the Dark Lord, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and finally Harry Potter trapped together, unable to use their magic, what will happen when Harry suggests the innocent game of Truth or Dare?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 85,819 - Reviews: 909 - Favs: 2,320 - Follows: 714 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Happy Birthday by holls guardian angel reviews
When Holly gets an unexpected invitation to her own birthday party at Fowl Manor she is excited. She doesn't know that Artemis's gifts are going to make her life very difficult.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,096 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Scheherazade by fyren galan reviews
Voldemort didn’t believe that a bound Harry Potter was in his dungeon. Seeing Potter with his own eyes, he planned to kill him. But after months of being entranced by tales, his original plans may have changed slightly. SLASH. Retelling of 1001 Nights.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,282 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 337 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 6/8/2010 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Attacked! by RoseRedMisery reviews
Artemis!Werewolf fic. Arty/Holly. "Foaly was at a loss for words. Artemis Fowl had just thrown a boy his own size across a room. Since when could he do that!" Lots of OC's to keep things fresh, slight Arty/OC slash but you'll get over it. Post-TTP DONE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,984 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
They Actually Gave Us A Ship? by Shuggie reviews
The USS Enterprise. Starfleet gave a flagship to a bunch of kids. Sequel to They Actually Recruited Us? Same ideas, but now everyone's graduated and on the Enterprise.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,582 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/20/2010 - Published: 3/19/2010
Ask Not for Whom the Bell Tolls by Moonfairyhime reviews
Death comes to everyone at some point. Death once came to Jim Kirk and then He came again. And again. And somewhere, along the line, Death and Jim Kirk became friends. First in the "Jim and Death are BFFs" series.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,226 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 25 - Published: 4/13/2010 - J. Kirk - Complete
Awkward Turbolift Music by Swing-21 reviews
Gaila, Horny Orion Woman, sharing a lift with Commander Spock, Repressed Telepath Vulcan. Trying NOT to think about him naked. Can you spell awkwardness? Kirk/Spock, mentions of past Spock/Uhura, Gaila/everyone.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,300 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Gaila, Spock - Complete
Until It Sleeps by VoodooChild3000 reviews
Another prompt from the ST:XI kink meme, in which Winona's shuttle doesn't get away. Crazy grieving Nero, deciding Fate owes him, opts to keep her and baby Jim alive as surrogate wife and son, with all the angst and potential tragedy that will entail.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,656 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 3/22/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Nero, Winona K.
The FANBAM TALK SHOW! by MissDomaYuset reviews
WARNING! FanBam may not be suitable for those without a sense of humor or those who have heart problems. This only to be read when you want to laugh so hard, yo mama will smack you! The overload of random stupidity may kill you! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 23,468 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 12/15/2006
How to annoy by WolfletteMoon reviews
After having her ability to be annoying questioned, a certain fanfic author and some friends go to Ireland with a set of lists to try and and annoy the Artemis Fowl characters. Based on my '10 ways to annoy' fic, but you don't have to read it to get this.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,151 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/23/2010 - Published: 10/10/2009
Sick by Replaceable Insanity reviews
What happens after a innocent day at the park ends up with GIR running away from his Master? Then returning to get hurt? Zim's POV
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 17,077 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Zim, Gir
Random Invader Zim Interview by fromidam reviews
Warning: High levels of randomness, read at own risk.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,916 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
They're Not Taking Vampires Seriously! by bioldrawings reviews
When your little sister drags you to a girly movie, that sucks. When the movie makes a mockery of the Paranormal by spreading ridiculous lies about vampires? That's just too much. Twilight crosses the line for Dib, and Zim gets a dumb idea.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Dib, Gaz - Complete
Off in the Sunset by Sonny.With.A.Firefly reviews
Just a random, lighthearted GirXPiggy oneshot. Enjoy. :
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Gir - Complete
And it All Comes Down to You by thealmightyshortest reviews
It has been 7 years since Zim fist came to Earth. Dib is losing patience with their neverending, unchanging rivalry. When things go horribly wrong, the two realize that they are more alike than they ever would care to admit. Possible ZADR not sure yet .
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,426 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/17/2009 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Dib, Zim
Nick's time has been Cancelled Currently Stopped by Evil Maniac of DOOM reviews
We love Cartoons! They fill us with joy, but what happens to the characters when they get cancelled or their show ends. They're throw into a world of gloomyness and anger overflows them. And the leader is none other than Zim and he's ready for revenge.
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,044 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/8/2009 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Zim
10 Ways To Annoy by WolfletteMoon reviews
10 ways to annoy various Artemis Fowl characters. If you don't like these lists, then don't read them.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,099 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/14/2009 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Complete
It's All in The PAK by Invader Johnny reviews
I always knew Zim was insane, I just never knew how much, After all it's one thing to think he's the greatest Irken alive, it's quite another to see a species that isn't really there, Alternates Skoodge's POV and Zim's POV A one-shot.
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,602 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 21 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Zim, Skoodge - Complete
The Chicken and the Genius by avatarmirai reviews
Here Beckett proves himself to be/Much smarter than you think,/I hope that I can make you laugh/'Til you are tickled pink,/Read and review dear reader, please,/Go on and click the link!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Artemis F. - Complete
Last Farewell by Liris reviews
At the end of his life, Holly pays Artemis one last visit. Not fluff, and an attempt to rid myself of writers block. Not beta'd, so any criticism welcomed. Sort of H/A, one-shot. Character Death
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,060 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/30/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
If You Give a Genius a Cookie by sampson17 reviews
How would Artemis react to things we take for granted in our normal lives? A sort of "What Would Artemis Do?" kind of thing. Chapter 12- Artemis battles the ultimate evil: Facebook request emails!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,848 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/29/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Artemis F.
Dib's Life by RubberPants reviews
Wonder how Dib's life was before Zim came? Well this is MY version on what I think happened.
Invader Zim - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Dib - Complete
Within Temptation by WingedSilhouette reviews
The one person she thought she knew best turns out to be the one person she can’t trust. Everything she knew about him changed in the instant he said her name. Now he's going to keep her, hurt her, & if he gets the chance he might even kill her A/H Dark
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,043 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Meeting by ConfusedColumbia26220 reviews
The Witch and Little Red meet for the first and second times. I now have no idea how long this will be - there is a twist in the third chapter that could keep me going for a while.
Into the Woods - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,129 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Witch, Little Red - Complete
Letters to Mine Enemy by FrostedMidnight reviews
What does one do when forbidden to write to one's friends? Why, write to thier enemies instead of course.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,412 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 426 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Truth's Irony by Gir obsesser reviews
Insanity, or a whole new logic? The truth is revealed. Zim has been told by his leaders that his life is a sham... but his response is anything but expected. The question is, has the small Irken finally cracked... or is he ingenious? Invader Zim is JV's.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 906 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Zim, Red - Complete
Hidden In Plain Sight by sussiekitten reviews
AU - Eragon couldn't believe it. He had done it this time; gone and fallen for his anti-social and bastardly roommate of all people! With scheming friends and a sarcastic Internet buddy he'll soon realise that things have only just begun. Slash, M/E
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,687 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 23 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Eragon S., Murtagh - Complete
Sulkin' by kitsunephoenix reviews
Tasuki's been overly sensitive again, in Kouji's opinion, and has run off to sulk, leaving Kouji with the problem of tracking him down and retuning him to the stronghold. No pairings.
Fushigi Yuugi - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,514 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Chichiri, Tasuki - Complete
Just are by Smarmy Penguin reviews
Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter always slept back to back. It was an old habit from the war. HarryDraco
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
Ways to annoy your roomate: Invader Zim style by Invader Bijou reviews
Fear how genious Zim is with his pranking! You get to learn a few pointers on pranking your roomate, also scare them.A little of ZaDR. Not really, but it seems like it.
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,957 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 11/13/2006 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Dib, Zim
Twisted by cheryl bites reviews
Harry attempts suicide by jumping off the Astronomy Tower, and accidentally impales Voldemort by landing on top of him. Despite the summary, this is not crack. Violence, attempted suicide, self mutilation, swearing. HPLV.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,759 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 70 - Published: 11/7/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Camping Trip by Amouthea reviews
The Membrane family goes on an uncharacteristic camping trip. But how will Dib prevent Zim from taking over the world while he's away? Why, by dragging him along, of course! ZADF & ZAGR eventually
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,328 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/16/2004 - Published: 7/9/2004
The Friday the 13th Before Valentine's Day by DeterminedX2 reviews
Dib’s Valentine’s Day plan goes horribly wrong when he tries to hypnotize Zim. ZAGR.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,667 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/6/2002 - Zim, Gaz - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bow Down Maybe reviews
Just a little song parody I made a few months ago. Basically Loki's POV of the Avengers in the form of 'Call Me Maybe' Yeah. I have a weird imagination. K for one swear.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/14/2012 - Loki
Mission: Icarus reviews
Quinn is your not-so-typical half Asgardian, half human teenager. All she wants to do in life is fly, learn magic, and stop getting shot at by the cops. So why can't she just catch a break? No pairings, cuz I suck at them Warning: Attempted rape, mild violence
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,486 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/6/2012 - Loki, Iron Man/Tony S.
A Normal Boy reviews
While in Potions one day, Harry P. is accidentally transported to another dimesion where he never existed.For the first time in his life he is being treated like a normal boy. How will he react to new friends, a new house, and new teachers?May become H/D.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Siblings Love reviews
James T. Kirk wasn't the only child in his mothers life after his fathers death. His little sister Jackie is just like him in a girls body. Now his mother is dying and Jim must take on his little sister, proving to be the biggest challenge of his life.C/S
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Family/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,586 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 5/30/2010 - Published: 3/26/2010 - J. Kirk
Loathing reviews
Just a song fic using What Is This Feeling? Loathing from Wicked.Kirk and Spock while Kirk is First Mate and annoying Spock.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/20/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Wizarding World reviews
Artemis Fowl is off to Hogwarts.He'll make new friends and enimies,trying to balance his social life,school work,and a new challenge for him.But as the year goes on Artemis may face the biggest challenge of his life:hes got a crusH.UP FOR ADOPTION! PM ME!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,019 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Artemis F.