Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, Naruto, and Death Note.
hidden mosters looking through the window of my soul, watch as ive hidden them away,
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously over looked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.(over used d:blec)
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.(anyone for cannablism?)
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.(well i dont know they could think world desater is a good thing... just saying)
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.Friend or Money!(if you have problems desiding you always have the option of the bank...then its money or staying out of jail, and if you want invite your friend)
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.(what about the dark side...)
A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.(unless... no wait i was wrong... drat)
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. (yeah but the best has come to pass)
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. (and hide the body of those who were...>.>...They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.(guess being a she means we will...)
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.(some times i even wave)
3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.(but that only makes me want to know more)
4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.(and those you do find can be solved with useing them on others...)
6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they arn't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?"
11. My Reality Check bounced.(it seems ill just have to live without it oh well)
12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.(or the delete...)
13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.(is that like insanity... no i injoy insanty so im more then just a carrier)
14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.(i prefer to think they're going through malasis)
15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.(then its not clear who was one first)
18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.(sounds like death)
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?(do you have any crazy ones)
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.
"There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.
Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.(oh i thought it was hoping someone would accidently take your with them... )
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.(unless you've learned to fool all of the people all of the time then moms a sinch)
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.