TwillightFan
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Joined 09-05-09, id: 2073748, Profile Updated: 01-02-10

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92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this is your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into yourprofile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

Girls

are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don’t want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren’t as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they’re amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who’s

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down im scared
Guy: No this is fun
Girl: No its not please its too scary
Guy: then tell me you love me
Girl: I love you slow down
Guy: Now give me a big hug
She gave him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself its bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were broke he didn’t want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him he loved her one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for the person you love copy this in your profile


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -beep- run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
(So...why then have we all been submitted to spelling tests our whole lives? Ponder THAT a while.)


You know you live in 2007 (2008) when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname/myspace/facebook

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

FRIENDSHIP

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'

What High School Musical has Taught us as a Country

1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.

2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.

3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.

4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.

5. Don't worry about being rude or mean because in the end things will work out for you.

6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.

7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.

8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.

9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!

10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.

11. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!

12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!

13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.

14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation

15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.

16. Even though its the last day of school, its ok to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.

17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junkytruck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a 7,000 fridge.

18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.

19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.

20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the heck?' .

21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.

22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.

23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.

24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.

25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'back stabber'

26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...

27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.

28. Iced tea from England is blue.

29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. (gag me)

30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way.

31. It is okay to try to grope your girlfriend if she's leaving you, even though you guys have never kissed before.

32. When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.

33. When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens.

34. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials.

35. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.

36. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.

37. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.

38. Corbin Bleu switched shampoos. Because his hair obviously did not have as much shine, bounce, or body as it did in HSM 1.

39. Even though Chad danced in 'Get your head in the game', 'Status Quo' and 'What time is it', he apparently does not dance, according to the song 'I don't dance'.

40. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.

41. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills.

42. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely & nbsp.

43. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.

7.Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Destined by Strawbee08 reviews
“You’re nothing but a cheap lying bastard! What kind of a man are you, huh? You vermin-ridden, useless piece of crap! You don’t deserve to be happy, you worthless man-whore!” “Who the hell are you?” Oops. She crashed the wrong wedding. SxS.
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 110,595 - Reviews: 2318 - Favs: 886 - Follows: 978 - Updated: 2/28/2014 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Sakura K., Syaoran L.
No Ordinary Proposal by twilover76 reviews
Bella wants to escape her small-town life and live her dreams in New York. What happens when a man almost twice her age makes her an offer she can't refuse? AH/M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 163,556 - Reviews: 10737 - Favs: 7,949 - Follows: 6,530 - Updated: 12/1/2013 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle reviews
Everything I had done in my life seemed to lead up to this moment. The moment when I found myself bound inextricably to a man I didn’t love, trapped in a life I didn’t want. And if I left him, I would be entirely alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 227,237 - Reviews: 15033 - Favs: 8,629 - Follows: 9,062 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
Edroar the Angry Lion by Tropical Sorbet reviews
Edroar the Angry Lion frightens all the girls and boys at Cullen Publishing with his loud roar. Will his new massage therapist Bella Swan run away like all the rest, or can she tame this savage beast? AH/AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 121,973 - Reviews: 3926 - Favs: 3,389 - Follows: 4,535 - Updated: 6/1/2013 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Edward, Bella
Feral by opal aline reviews
When Bella signed up for a summer archeology program, she thought she'd be exploring fossils and sedimentary rock. Little did she know, she would find herself the primary caretaker for a man with no verbal capacity or human interaction skills-a feral man
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 123,153 - Reviews: 4422 - Favs: 3,164 - Follows: 2,732 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Complete
La canzone della Bella Cigna by philadelphic reviews
A famous voice teacher. A mysterious piano prodigy. Backstabbing classmates. Music school is competitive, and aspiring singer Bella Swan is determined to succeed. Hard work she can handle, but who expected music school to be dangerous? A story in 3 acts
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 336,125 - Reviews: 7297 - Favs: 4,139 - Follows: 3,785 - Updated: 11/9/2012 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Edward, Bella
Practice to Deceive by Livie79 reviews
I saw her today. I wasn't impressed. But he wanted her, and that was enough for me. She was just collateral damage. AH ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 131,761 - Reviews: 4640 - Favs: 3,196 - Follows: 2,361 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Getty Romance by rinabina reviews
It would be impossible for Bella to love anything more than her job at the J Paul Getty museum. That is, until a handsome, bronze-haired, fine suit-ed young man breezes through her gallery. A love story within the walls of a museum. E/B AH AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 49,287 - Reviews: 1975 - Favs: 1,263 - Follows: 875 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 2/10/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Roommate by MandyLeigh87 reviews
I needed a roommate. What I got was one heck of a problem. AH BxE Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 80,364 - Reviews: 4703 - Favs: 4,095 - Follows: 3,003 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Contextually Speaking by cosmogirl7481 reviews
Bella spends her days surrounded by books and her nights immersed in them. Reading but not living. Imagining but not experiencing. One night changes everything. A story about wrong numbers and a stranger with all the right words.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 15,797 - Reviews: 3120 - Favs: 2,074 - Follows: 993 - Published: 2/8/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Wedding Present by DazzledIn2008 reviews
Bella wants a special present from Edward for her wedding: she wants him to act out her unfulfilled desires for Jacob while she watches. E/J slash. TwiKinkFest prompt.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,599 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Come Play With Me by Mizzdee reviews
Bella has her future all planned out: job, husband, kids. But before real life begins, Edward told her to let loose & have fun. To experience life. There are two experiences she wants, Emmett and Jasper. Written for Twilight Kink fest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,304 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 147 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Bella
End Game by ArcadianMaggie reviews
The next time Mike enters the locker room after practice, the sound of running water is enough to make him burn. He knows Emmett's just on the other side of that wall. Written for the Kink Fest. PWP. Slash. Mature content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,729 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 40 - Published: 12/19/2011 - Emmett, Jasper - Complete
What Forever Means by rmhale reviews
My entry for the TwiKinkFest - it's dirty PWP people...dirty :- Read the warnings. Pairing is Peter/Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,755 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 20 - Published: 12/16/2011 - Jasper, Peter - Complete
As He Watches by sapphirescribe reviews
In an effort to build up his willpower before having sex with Bella, Edward watches her have sex with others. Written for the TwiKinkFest. I can't believe I wrote this. Bella/Seth/Paul/Jake. Obviously rated M. Post-Eclipse, Pre-BD AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,812 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 38 - Published: 12/8/2011 - Bella, Jacob, Paul, Seth - Complete
Anything by theladyingrey42 reviews
"They say that if you love someone, you'll do anything for him. I just never imagined that what my husband would ask of me would be to have sex with another man." Written for the TwiKinkFest. Cuckolding fetish. E/B.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,186 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 154 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11472 - Favs: 9,033 - Follows: 6,575 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ride by kris salvador reviews
Bella wanted to fulfill a fantasy - to be groped inside a crowded train. She gets her wish and more, when a sex-starved ex-convict decides she's fair game. ALLHUMAN. Mature but with plot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 67,524 - Reviews: 4444 - Favs: 7,085 - Follows: 4,119 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
You are mine by brighteyes22 reviews
He suddenly grabbed me by the chin and cooed "You are mine". Bella is kidnapped and forced to be Edward's pleasure slave. ExB Dark Dominant Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,630 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 712 - Follows: 840 - Updated: 4/24/2011 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
Scarlet by archer24 reviews
Bella is the greatest thief the world's never seen; she is only recognized by her scarlet calling card. Edward is FBI, and has been able to catch every criminal he's come across. Little do they know, they are both about to meet their match. AH, OOC, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 147,185 - Reviews: 7055 - Favs: 4,910 - Follows: 2,508 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
King of Hearts by Agent08 reviews
COMPLETE. Tradition says, every king must rule beside a sorceress. But King Syaoran won't let just anybody have a say in his kingdom, simply because they have magical powers. He swears the only girl he'll ever rule with is… his queen. SyaoranxSakura.
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 117,775 - Reviews: 860 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 2/18/2011 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Syaoran L., Sakura K. - Complete
The Man Who Can't Be Moved by Jenny0719 reviews
Bella Swan is personal assistant to 'The Sexiest Man Alive', Edward Masen. Their natural chemistry has them giving into temptation, but will Edward's fame tear them apart? Or bring them closer together?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 46 - Words: 315,382 - Reviews: 4980 - Favs: 5,009 - Follows: 2,652 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 10/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Molto Bella by ObsessingOverEdward reviews
Bella is an up-and-coming chef and Edward is a persnickety restaurant reviewer with an axe to grind. Watch out! Things get pretty hot in the kitchen!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,821 - Reviews: 1306 - Favs: 1,551 - Follows: 649 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Jasper Hale hates his high school rival Edward Cullen with a passion. What happens when Jasper discovers Edward's little secret? Spank!Fic. AH/AU/OOC. Rated M. Contains mature content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 91,100 - Reviews: 3547 - Favs: 2,315 - Follows: 1,391 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
The Naughty Lawyer and The Bulge by sharniee reviews
Bella is a student studying to become a lawyer and Edward is her teacher.She falls in love with her teacher and cant stop herself from thinking about the things he could do to her. Little does she know that he is in love with her also.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,854 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 1/28/2010 - Edward, Bella
You're Mine by arohalee reviews
"I'll do more than show you, Isabella. I've waited a long time to make you mine and make no mistake, you are mine" I growl at her. Rated M for some language and adult content, you've been warned! One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
My Cullen by Sirius.Is.Not.Dead1989 reviews
Bella is a student. Edward a cruel teacher. Of course they get kinky. SMUT eventually, you have been warned. Allhuman. E/B. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,476 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Edward, Bella
Fork's Foxes by storywhorey reviews
Playboy has its bunnies, Victoria Secret has its angels, and Forks has its Foxes. The infamous Foxes. The girls aren’t meant to be cute and aren’t meant to be a tease. They get down and dirty. Welcome to the life of the beautiful ugly.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 31,388 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 6/9/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Bella, Edward
Project Seduce Mr Whitlock by rmhale reviews
Edward's life changed the moment he walked into his senior history class. His boring life was turned upside down by his gorgeous teacher and now it was his mission to seduce an unsuspecting Mr. Whitlock. E/J pairing, contains male slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 96,074 - Reviews: 1245 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 526 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Edward, Jasper
I Hate Myself For Loving You by halojones reviews
Bella's ready to bust out of her shell in college with roomie Alice. She meets the dazzling but rakish Edward, but is warned of his less than angelic ways. Will B/A be just another notch in the belt for J/E, or will they teach the boys a lesson or two?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 239,525 - Reviews: 10021 - Favs: 7,420 - Follows: 6,118 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 3/28/2008
Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days reviews
Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 124,991 - Reviews: 11404 - Favs: 11,056 - Follows: 5,786 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Controlled Burn by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Summary: Bella has always joked about marrying Alice’s much younger brother so she could be a part of her best friend’s family, but now he’s all grown up and hot. Bella tries to control the burn for him, but it quickly becomes a raging fire. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 124,722 - Reviews: 11314 - Favs: 4,599 - Follows: 2,196 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Complete
Fourth Quarter by MBella reviews
Edward is the star quarterback. Bella is the coach's daughter. Falling in love is always bittersweet, but what happens after a tragedy tears them apart and then fate throws them together years later?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 153,638 - Reviews: 1592 - Favs: 2,038 - Follows: 812 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Welcome to Seattle, Love by lune d'ete reviews
Bella is tranferred to a boarding school in seattle. . . What happens when she learns that her new roomie is a guy whose's name is Edward Cullen? AH, OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,638 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009
The Official Twilight Summer SmutDown 2009 by BritishBitches reviews
14 days of summer-themed-smut! Same as the SmutVent calendar, each chapter will be a one shot written by a different guest author in a countdown to 21st June - the first official day of summer. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 83,390 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Complete
Moving to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by FirstWarmSummerBreeze reviews
A.H. Bella is German and lives in the most famous house in the world for six months. Suddenly she belongs to the rich and famous and hates her popular/player host brother Edward with a passion.What's the dark secret he is hiding? Caution Addictive! B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 152,988 - Reviews: 2079 - Favs: 1,321 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stay by crimsonmarie reviews
As an actor, Edward Cullen is surrounded by people that he couldn't really care less about. What happens when he buys a house in the middle of nowhere and meets his new neighbors? AH, AU, ExB, rated M for future chapters and language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 276,486 - Reviews: 5601 - Favs: 8,154 - Follows: 2,952 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 8711 - Favs: 14,176 - Follows: 2,937 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Making Edward by Rolled-Over-Beethoven reviews
Edward was a bullied geek at the bottom of the school food chain...then along came Bella... Lemons, language, and laughs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 33 - Words: 64,135 - Reviews: 589 - Favs: 1,143 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Camp Cullen by TwiHard24 reviews
Bella,Alice,and Rosalie are spending their summer at Camp Cullen. They meet some guys...will sparks fly or is that just Bella trying to burn holes in the back of Edward's head? It's an all out prank war. Who will win and what's really the prize?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 44,391 - Reviews: 978 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 344 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 10/18/2008
The Official Twilight SmutVent Calendar 2008 by BritishBitches reviews
25 days of smut! The best smut authors on FanFic have come together to create the ultimate advent calendar! Each day leading up to Christmas we will be posting a new chapter, each written by a guest author! Lot's of lemons! Enjoy! x Outtakes now posted!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 137,830 - Reviews: 1123 - Favs: 963 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Camp Swan by DancingWithRoses reviews
The Cullens and Hales are spending their summer at an elite cheerleading and football camp. Bella Swan proves to be a friend and a kick ass cheerleader. What happens when hilarity ensues and pranks begin? Normal parings AU AH OOC Changing POV ON HOLD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,391 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 5/15/2009 - Published: 3/21/2009
Save Kiss by orangekitty160 reviews
Bella is starting a new school in the middle of the freshman year, and meets her room-mate Alice and her friend Rosalie. she meets one boy, Edward, and immediately hates him. but what happens when he challenges her to a kissing contest....? all human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 40,705 - Reviews: 1334 - Favs: 805 - Follows: 510 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Parking Lot by shaywithoutdelay281 reviews
As Bella's leaving a movie alone, she meets James, a man who just needs a little help - as far as she knows. Rated M for graphic rape. AH, dark fic.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,667 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Bella, James
Sons and Father Moment by ResDes2 reviews
This is a total slash involving Carlisle, Edward, and a little bit of Emmett. Review and tell me how gay it is and how sexy it is. Besides, no one had written a slash between Carlisle and Edward yet, and I felt it was deserved.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,116 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/4/2008 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Dreams of Amber by Ephemeralda reviews
Being a nanny is easy. Not. Ask Sakura...thrown in the midst of spoilt brats, uptight employers, kidnapping plots, fashion world politics & strange dreams. Oh, and did we mention her crush on her arrogant amber eyed boss?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,750 - Reviews: 1283 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 4/10/2007 - Published: 6/4/2004 - Sakura K., Syaoran L.