MissAlyssaCullen
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 09-12-09, id: 2081993, Profile Updated: 03-21-12

Bonjour! I'm Alyssa. You can just call me Aly, most people do. If you are taking the time to read this, all you really should read is this paragraph because all the rest is really just...randomness.Hmm...what else? Well, I would like to be an actress or a childhood teacher when I am older. I spoke Spanish as my first language when I was younger, but now speak English, and I'm learning French.

I will begin to write my first fanfic on this site when I get some good ideas and inspiration. I have plenty of fanfictions by me written in notebooks from the Twilight Saga, Vampire Diaries series, Percy Jackson series, and the Dark Guardian series, but I never feels as if they are complete. I guess I could be considered a "perfectionist," a quality I would rather not possess. If you have any ideas of things you would like to read, I would love to hear them, and maybe I can write a story that can be based off what you want.

Songs that give me inspiration and make me want to make changes in the world-- "Another Day in Paradise" ~Phil Collins, "Man in the Mirror" ~Michael Jackson, "We are the World" ~Michael Jackson and other celebrities, "Angel" ~Sarah McLachlan

Check out my three fanfiction friends' stories-Princess in Converse, Sylviah Elric, and punkpook.

Life is like a movie-

If you are sad: Drama

If you are afraid: Suspense

If you are angry: Action

When you look in the mirror: Horror

Now you are smiling: That's comedy

Favorite

Color: Lime Green

Actors: Boo Boo Stewart, Blair Redford, Ian Somerhalder, Jackson Rathbone, Alex Meraz, Taylor Lautner, Casey James, Orlando Bloom, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Benjamin Stone

Actresses: Ashley Greene, Ariana Grande, Nikki Reed, Kristen Stewart, Tinsel Korey, and Julia Jones

Movie: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Percy Jackson, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Elf, Secret Life of Bees, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Lord of The Rings, Pirates of The Caribbean, Harry Potter

Song: "It Will Rain"~Bruno Mars, "Beautifully" ~Jay Brannan, "D'amour ou d'amitié" ~Céline Dion

Band: Paramore, Allstar Weekend

Subject: Theater, French, Art, English, Spanish

Clothing: Basically, I love to dress up (skirts, dresses, etc,) But I love comfy and cute (hoodies, etc.)

Word: uncharacteristically (Why? Because it is the longest real word I know, and I found it in Twilight -when Jasper uncharacteristically moves closer to Bella.)

Noise: happy squeals of little kids

Books: Twilight Saga, In the Forest of the Night series, Dark Guardians series, Harry Potter series, Vampire Diaries series, Percy Jackson series

Animals: Wolves, elephants

Fictional and Literary Characters: Edward Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Swan, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale, Esme Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Sam Uley, Paul, Jared, Leah Clearwater, Renesmee Cullen, Seth Clearwater, Embry Call, Quil, Emily, Alec, Victoria, Jane, James, Laurent, Bree Tanner, and all the other Twilight Saga characters. Also, Elena Gilbert, Damon and Stefan Salvatore, Margret, Bonnie, Jeremy, Meredith, Matt, Tyler, Caroline, Vickie, Katherine, and all the other Vampire Diary characters. Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Luke Castellan, Grover, and all the other Percy Jackson characters.

Favorite pastimes: Acting, writing, singing, listening to music, hanging with friends, reading, dancing, and sketching

I am: an extreme Twilight obsessed fan girl

I have: my dialogue from Princess Bride running through my head

If I was trapped one an island with only one thing, it would be: Twilight Saga

I love: supernatural creatures

I have never: wanted anything more than to be an actress

Obsessions: Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Percy Jackson, any super natural creature

Random Things I found out: Don’t grab a curling iron by the wrong end when it is on. It’s hot. haha, you learn that the hard way(:

Ten Random Facts About Me That You'll Never Need To Know:

1. I wish to be an actress, but don’t know where/how to start. (thank you Princess in Converse for information!)

2. I constantly wish I was in Forks, La Push, Voltura, or anywhere Twilight related.

3. Summer is my favorite season.

4. I’m on Team Jasper, Team Jacob, Team Seth, and Team Paul from Twilight.

5. My first fanfiction friend is Sylviah Elric. (Go check out her awesome stories!)

6. I believe supernatural creatures exist with all my heart.

7. I am so weird, but awesome.

8. I am on Team Damon from Vampire Diaries.

9. I can speak some French and Spanish.

10.I am totally and utterly in love and obsessed with Twilight.

I am Mrs. Jasper Hale You are perfect for Jasper. You are caring and whimsical and have a strong personality. You can be passionate, and dramatic, but that's okay, since Jasper knows exactly how to calm you down.

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat waiting for me...How does she kn- Ohhh, right!

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! (of-course!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! (Heck yeah! I'm a daddy's girl )

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid (Duh)

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

Things I'm NOT Allowed to do at camp Halfblood:

1. I will not hug Mr. D., nor will I come into personal contact with him, whatsoever.

2. Telling campers ‘save a Pegasus ride a demi-god’ is not funny, just very dirty.

3. Telling campers ‘save a demi-god, ride a centaur’ is not permitted, and Chiron will most likely kill me.

4. Singing “Like a Virgin” in front of the hunters is not funny, no matter how many people laugh.

5. I will not give Luke a hug, no matter how much he needs one.

6. I will not sing “Hey Hade’s, you’re so Fine”, ever.

7. Referring to Mr. D. as the drunken fat guy is not permitted, and will also get me turned into a grape.

8. I will not braid Chiron’s tail and call him my pretty pony.

9. I will not ask Chiron boxers or briefs, because he obviously doesn’t wear underwear.

10. I will not point out the fact that Chiron doesn’t wear underwear.

11. I will not ask Chiron if horses do it better.

12. I will not sing “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do it on Discovery Channel” to Chiron.

13. Calling Kronos a meanie-but will get me killed, and isn’t a smart idea.

14. Grover does not need to shave his legs, and I will stop saying so.

15. Juniper is not cheating on Grover with all the tree huggers at camp.

16. I will not tell Annabeth that Percy hates blondes with a fiery passion from the bottom of his heart. It’s just plain mean.

17. The goods are not bimbos or jingaloes.

18. Calling the gods sexy beasts might make them feel better, but is not permitted.

19. I will not yell out that Kronos is coming and watch every one freak out.

20. I will not tell the Aphrodite girls that Clarisse says she’s prettier than them.

21. I will not aim for the satyrs during archery.

22. I will not make pot brownies and sell them to the campers, because an A.D.H.D. kid on marijuana is just a mess.

23. Singing the Mission Impossible theme song for every quest I go on just gets annoying.

24. Correcting Annabeth is a bad idea.

25. Dumping glitter on Mr. D. and taping a note to his back that says ‘I feel pretty’, then blaming it on Percy is not permitted.

26. Telling all the gods their attack and defense points is annoying.

27. I will not dress up as a hellhound for Halloween and run around jumping on every one.

28. I will not make fun of Artemis because she looks twelve.

29. I will not steal Percy’s Minotaur horn, tape it to my forehead, and run around saying I’m a unicorn.

30. I will not start dancing on the table in the dining hall singing “La Vie Boehme” from Rent.

31. Using Annabeth’s invisible Yankee cap to give people wedgies is not permitted.

32. Travis and Cole are not ‘butt-buddies’.

33. Making enemies with the gods is a bad idea, even if it is fun.

34. Asking Rachael what the answers to the SAT are is cheating, and not permitted.

35. I will not give energy drinks to any of the campers.

36. I will not feed Grover my enemies’ clothes.

37. Percy’s nickname is not Shark Boy.

38. Despite Annabeth’s temper, her nickname is not Lava Girl.

39. Singing “Strawberry Fields Forever” in the strawberry patches gets annoying after a while.

40. I will not jump on Chiron and yell ‘Giddy up!’

Fave Phrases

Sparkle you fool!...Sparkle!

Whenever i hear thunder i wonder if vampire's are playing basball

Give blood. Carlisle would approve

This Hostage stuff is fun

Superman wears Alice Cullens' Pajamas

Silver Volvos make me squeal like a fan girl

TWILIGHT.Give me the book before someone gets hurt

I punched a werewolf in the face

Zac Efron is jealous of Edward Cullen

Jacob glared at the kids dressed as vampire's. He knew it was wrong but he lied and said there was no candy left.

Dracula? pfft, more like Jasper Hale

I'm glad Edward didn't kill you. It's so much funnier with you around.

This is my werewolf face

Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on tv.

Emmett = Big Teddy Bear

Edward = Simply Dazzling

Jasper = Walking Chill Pill

Ohh i think we can handle that

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper but Alice is always outside the window with a bat waiting for me.How does she kn- Ohhh Righttttt...

Team Jasper- Hotter Than Jacob,Cooler Than Edward

"For the First Time, I felt Hope"-Jazzy!

How you know if you're obsessed with Percy Jackson and the Olympians:
You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy without glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.
You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.
Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.
You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??
Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.
When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.
You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas.
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events.
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.
Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you have some more places for your PJ&O stuff.
When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"
When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies.
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.
And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:
-Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy.
-Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.
-Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.
-Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.
-Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and Thuke, I know, but c'mon...
-Eris- She threw the apple.
You have ADD, are diagnosed, and are convinced that you are a demigod because of this.
When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.
You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.
You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)
You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You still think Thuke could happen.
You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.
You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.
You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.
You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth.
You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.
Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.
You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.
You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.
They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico.
You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen.
You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.
You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes! Give it back!!"
You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena).
You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.
You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.
Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog.
You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word Canada or Canadians.
You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it.
You get other people obsessed.
You have constant vivid dreams about the fifth book.
You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the fifth book.
You jump up and down at the idea of LT becoming a movie.
You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, PJO and use it in conversations.
Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.
You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS.
When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus.
Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!"
You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"
When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters.
When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.
You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.
You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"
You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes.
After you read the first Percy Jackson book, you've believed in the Greek gods and pray to them at least once a day.
You read this list or one similar to this and made a note to do any of the stuff on this list that you don't already do.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll provoke the Volturi and blame you

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula

TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ;)

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile

TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile!!

Funny Ways To Waste Time

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message (perhaps that funny shape is saying, 'send all your money to urban75.com'?)

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Pretend you're a robot
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.

Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

Rate passers by
(Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Pinch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Make Star Trek door noises
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").

Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

In order to get to heaven, you have to make a little hell.

If you try and don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

You ask for advice? Yeah, not so good at that. May I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?

Don't play games with someone who can play better.

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again.

Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."

"If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

“Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.” -Andre Gide

“Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light.” -Dorothy Thompson

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."

How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics
so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand
on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that
special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. “ -Albert Einstein

“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” -Woody Allen

“Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. “ -William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"

Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key. - Alan Bennett

"Stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard"

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."

“We do not remember days; we remember moments.” -Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlies bar
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
'I’m sorry!', I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this
and don't pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be affected
By this Poem
And because U R affected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, post this.

We realize that this is an important situation and at least 5 children each day, from around the world, die from child abuse. Child cruelty/abuse is real and things like this happen to some abused children everyday. So next to time you fight with your parents or think your life is horrible, think of these abused children and realize your parents love you and your life isn't anywhere near as horrible as you think it is. Be thankful you are loved and not threatened each day. Be thankful you are allowed to eat and have friends and sleep in a bed. Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you chose to pass this on thank you for helping spread the awareness of child cruelty/abuse.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. 'If I had an Apple, and Edward Cullen had a Banana, would that make me his lemon?'

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it was something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (and man!) copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've reread Twilight over 10 times... copy/paste this into your profile.

You know your Twilight addiction is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" into your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are TEAM SWITZERLAND... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen and Jacob Black are equally hott... copy/paste this into your profile.

IF YOU LOVE JASPER HALE... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE PAUL... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE SETH CLEARWATER... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE ALEC VOLTURI... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE JACOB BLACK... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

If your a proud stalker, and obsessed star-crossed lover of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Jasper Hale, a completely fictional character... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe that there is an Seth Clearwater out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Seth...) copy/paste this into your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your bio if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your keester off.

If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

If short people will one day rule the world copy and past this onto your profile.

If you too are in love with a fictional vampire named Jasper Hale and are unashamed to admit it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're sick of seeing the "Copy and Paste" junk on other people's profile and just want basic info not "copy and paste" crap, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate "Copy and Paste" junk in general, but at times can't resist doing it anyways...come on. You know you want to...

Quotes:

"Goodbye Jacob, my brother...my son."
-- Edward Cullen

"What do you call a blonde with a brain? A Golden Retriever"
-- Jacob Black

"Early marraige was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies"
-- Bella Swan, about Renee

"I'll stop by your crypt after school."
-- Jacob Black

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."
-- Edward Cullen

“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.”
-- Emmett Cullen

Emmet: "Fall again, Bella?"
Bella: "No Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face."

"Did you seriously just stomp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV..."
-- Jacob Black

"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"
--Alice Cullen

"I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy in my life!"
-- Alice Cullen

"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will?"
-- Bella Swan

Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..."
-- Edward Cullen

Layla: Wow, that is really deep!
Warren Peace: Reading off of a fortune cookie, yeah. And your lucky numbers are... 4, 16, 5... and 49
--Sky High

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no".
--Barbarossa, Pirates of the Carribean

Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy:You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails.
-Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed-
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: -nods- No.
-- Pirates of the Caribbean (Completely contradictory, gotta love it :D!)

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
-- Pirates of the Caribbean

Willy Wonka: Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
-- Charlie and the chocolate factory

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Smoother Than You since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Prettier Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Funny Quotes:

- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.

- All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.

- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

- They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, 'cause if you just stood ther and yelled BANG, I dont think you'd kill too many people.

- So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

- People are like slinkies; basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

- Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children.

- Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.

- Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

- Cute but psycho- things even out.

- Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

- I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

- I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

- I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

- No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

- 'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

- When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really, who likes lemons?

- When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

- When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

- When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

- I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

- I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

- I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

- Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

- Why do people always say life is short. Life is the longest damn thing you can do.

- Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

- Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

- I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

- I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that.

- Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice?

- Nobody is perfect. I am nobody.

- Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

- Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

- Shit happens. But mostly to me, so dont worry.

- Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

- Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

- Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried skydiving without a parachute... Or maybe they did. I mean we never really met whoever said it, did we?

- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

- I was uncool before uncool was cool.

- Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority- sarcasm: my anti-drug.

- Caution: I tend to make wierd faces.

- I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it.

- I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone.

- You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass. I cant.

- I can resist anything but temptation.

- Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

- All those who have telekenesis, raise my hand.

- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

- How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

- If superman is bulletproof, why does he duck when you throw the gun at him?

- If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are?

- I live in my own little world- but it's okay, they know me there.

- Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it.

- Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth.

- The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

- I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

- Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT.

- Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

- Tell the truth and run.

- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning many, and 'tics', as in the bloodsucking creatures?

- If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

- You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder.

- Friends will always be like 'well you deserve better'. Best friends will go up to him, in front of all his friends, and say 'it's because your gay, isn't it?'

- A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you in the cell saying 'man that was fun!'

- Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

- Education is important. school however, is another matter.

- I used to be normal... until I met those freaks i call my friends.

- I don't obsess! I think intensely!

- Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

- Do people even know what 'pro-biotic' and 'omega 3 fatty acids' are? Beacuse the yogurt may taste good, but it sounds pretty gross to me.

- It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. They're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and it's not conductive to a creative atmosphere!

- Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong?

- All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing is right... and that's what deathbeds are for.

- Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.

- The one who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on.

- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it

- I was born intelligent. Education ruined me.

- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for?

- Since light travels faster than sound, it explains why people appear bright until you hear them speak.

- How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

- Money isn't everything- there's MasterCard and Visa too.

- Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

- Success is a relative term. It attracts all the relatives.

- There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning.

- 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk?

- God made relatives. Thank god we can choose our friends.

- The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... so why learn in the first place?

- Reality has no background music... so I make my own (doo do do do do doo)

- Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet

- Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes

- Whatever tickles your pickle

- I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

- No I am not weird... just plotting

- If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms

- You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

- I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours

- If drama was vodka, my whole school would be wasted... except for me of course

- I intend to live forever... so far so good

- Will there be boys there? No mom, its a nun club

- So what's the speed of dark?

- I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

- Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

- Embrace the inner rebel- don't sit up straight

- Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

- Textually active

- Life is like a box of chocolates- it never lasts (which is so totally true if you stop to think about it instead of thinking it's such an emo thing to say, which I'm sure some of you are)

- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

- The way your mind works gives a whole new meaning to the word complex... and not in a good way

- Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. The rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

- One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

- A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while

- I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide

- Don't run in school- gliding is more fun!

- Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? ... oooh the possibilities

-Librarians are the one terrorist group you don't want to mess with - Michael Moore

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away

Hello Beautiful,
It's 7:05, here in Australia, so please Hold On while I explain to you what happens When You Look Me In The Eyes. In Year 3000, you would be What I Go To School For and I'd always say Nick J Is Off The Chain because That's Just The Way We Roll. Now I'd Appreciate it if you Don't Tell Anyone, but I've got this Crazy Kind Of Crush On You, You Just Don't Know It. I wish I could trade places with Mandy just for 6 Minutes because I know we would be Inseperable, and then I could just Move On like the Games they play in Hollywood. But deep down I'm Still In Love With You. I don't wanna be Just Friends. I know I may be the Underdog in this situation, but I Am What I am! I've been sending out S.O.S's hoping you'd help out some Poor Unforutnate Souls because I Wanna Be Like You. Now I know we're talking about the Kids Of The Future and it seems like it just may be Eternity before "Oh Jonas Brothers, Please Be Mine", but we can always take One Day At A Time. Now it is Time For Me To Fly, so Goodnight and Goodbye! Put this on your page if you love the Jonas Brothers!

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:- Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)
On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile

et...Fin(:

Not A Typical Love Story by 13Zander13 reviews
Marley Swan is Bella's younger sister. With a few issues of her own, she cannot help but to be drawn to Jasper Cullen- one of the few people who can help her feel...normal. The question is will the quiet vampire be able to break her walls down and most importantly... will Marley begin to trust and maybe learn to love? *Completed*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 31,744 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 10/13/2014 - Published: 6/27/2013 - Jasper, OC - Complete