The-Fiyero-Torturers
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Joined 09-14-09, id: 2084310, Profile Updated: 09-24-09
Author has written 1 story for Wicked.

About Your Authors (Scared yet? You will be)

Dahling Poppy Squint-Romantic

By: Squintzie

The daughter of respected and distinguished Wicked author Tiggy the Hopeless Romantic and not quite as respected and vastly less distinguished Wicked humor writer and convicted felon Squintzie Squint, Dahling was separated from her parents during a freak exploding pie factory disaster when she was a small child and raised by coyotes in the Arizona desert. Her adopted family--or pack-- cultivated a “rebelness” in her that stays with her to this day.

When she had grown from cub to the alpha female of the pack, Dahling realized that she didn’t really fit in with the other coyotes…she wanted to be a Broadway star! She regretfully left her adopted family behind and went to seek out her fortune on the great white way…only to run out of money the next day.

Dahling wandered the globe for many moons before moving to the small town of Illinous. Illinous was where Dahling found the place where she truly belonged. Populated by Wicked authors, the cast from Next to Normal, a few penguins, and a very confused family that thought they were moving to Illinois, Illinous was a utopian society. Sadly, her happiness was not to last.

Dahling was arrested for violating the restraining order Aaron Tveit had lobbied against her soon after her move to Illinous. She had known the consequences of her continued obsessive behavior, but claimed that she and Tveit had a love that could not be denied and that she was draw to him like a moth to flame. While in jail, Dahling befriended fellow inmate Squintzie Squint, unaware that Squint was her mother. This friendship would last both girls through many milestones, triumphs, and tribulations—and many, many more arrests for Tveit stalking for both women.

Before leaving Illinous to hunt the greatest game of all--Puritans and Fiyero—in an attempt to protect fanfiction.net from their site glitching ways, Dahling met and forged relationships with two more women that would become central to her life. The first of these women was Hexagonal Chipmunk or H.C. who Dahling felt an immediate connection with and adopted as her sister—giving Dahling her first noncoyote taste of family. The second woman was the beautiful and talented Ali-Al Lioness who Dahling fell madly in love with because of her angsty stories and ability to cheer people up on facebook…or something like that. Dahling’s final act as an Illinous citizen was to marry Ali-Al in a 24 hr SRTANT chapel. Four people were blinded by bubble soap leaving the ceremony, but everyone agreed the wedding was beautiful.

The tales of Squint and Dahling’s Fiyero and Puritan hunting expeditions have been spread far and wide, so there is no need to recount them here, but what many people don’t know is that Dahling and Squint actually founded a city together underneath the BAS. This underground town proved to be little more than a glorified minimum security prison where various Broadway stars were taken to become pets of BAS members. This secret retreat was where Dahling finally broke the resistance of Aaron Tveit’s Gabe side and claimed Gabe Aaron as her own. It was also here, in this unnatural place that was as close to a fangirl’s natural habitat as they could get that Squint noticed something about Dahling. She possessed…The Awesomeness.

The Awesomeness was strong with her, which proved that she was no ordinary author. The Awesomeness ran strong in both the Squint and Romantic lines, and Dahling’s midiclorian count showed that she could be none other than the chosen descendant destiny to bring balance to the Awesomeness. Reunited with her parents, but torn between the Angsty and Humor sides of The Awesomeness as embodied by her two mothers, Dahling retreated into seclusion to study the ways of The Awesomeness with her wife (who happens to be one of the Masters of the Awesomeness Council).

Today, Dahling lives under the BAS with her wife Ali-Al, Gabe Aaron, 427 cats, and a partridge in a pear tree. She writes fanfiction and sings opera by day and practices psychology by night, still making time to hunt Fiyero and Puritans on the weekends. Her life goals include breaking the Guinness world record for the most times a person can sing Feeling Electric without getting stoned by annoyed listeners and killing Squint for writing this biography.

Squintzie Squintzola

By: Dahling

Not many are aware of where the origins of Squintzie came from, but from what scientists have found, she was the only daughter of the well-know fluff writer, HC.

The story is told that HC was a young mother who needed help with the rambunctious Squintzie. While crying one day because HC discovered that her daughter possessed this weird obsession with torture, a group of fairies came down to answer the mother’s call. They told her that they had heard her crying and wanted to know what they could do to help. HC told them how she wished her daughter possessed the skill of Fluff. The fairies said they would take her in and help the daughter see the fluffy light that is fluff.

Years pass and the fairies teach Squintzie about all she needs to know about the art of fluff, but something was missing. She didn’t feel like her true self unless causing humorous pain to characters. It was time to go, she realized. The fairies were not happy and ended up kicking her out of their village out of anger when Squintzie saw a group of Wicked authors running after something. She asked what it was that they were chasing and learned that is was a Fiyero. She had never heard of a Fiyero and followed, forgetting all about the fairies.

Catching the prince was sweet and Squintzie learned that this was what was missing in her life. When Squintzie was preparing the torture chamber for Fiyero, a young Wicked author caught her eye. Her name was Pern and both fell madly in love with each other. It was a quick marriage, but Pern had to leave, off to war with a fanfic. Squintzie felt alone and needed comfort when another lonely, Wicked author came to cheer her up. Her name was Tiggy and Squintzie felt partially complete with her. They started an affair since both women were in relationships and had a daughter named Poppy.

The small family was split up when the Puritans attacked the peaceful torture village and they didn’t see each other for years.

Years later, HC and the now grown Poppy were strolling along the abandoned torture village when they discovered a door. Curiosity got to them and they went underneath to what is now known as the BAS’s underground village. Squintzie was one of the leaders and welcomed both into the small community.

Both HC and Squintzie felt like there was a connection, but both ignored it and listened to Poppy talk about her love for Gabe and Henry. The mother tells Squintzie that she reminds her of someone she one knew. Squintzie tells the tale of the fairies and how they were annoying little things; always throwing pixie dust and clapping their hands so no one would die. HC realizes it is the daughter she gave up and tells her daughter the truth. It was a touching Mother/Daughter moment and Poppy tells how she wished she had parents. Later on both friends (Because they became close friends) found out that Poppy was the child that was separated after the attack of the Elitists.

The story behind Squintzie’s life is mysterious, but there are some key facts that scientists have discovered: She loves torturing Wicked characters, namely Fiyero, has recently gotten the Next to Normal bug with Natalie as the ring leader, is on the search for her lost Broadway pet, Aaron Fiyero, and is one of the leaders of the Elitist hunts. She loves humor, ro-o-bo-tussin’ and Bones.

The "Lofty" Origins of the Epic Story :P

One day in a yahoo chat...

Terri (2:40 PM): I hear you on that. It's been days since I've really thought about anything. I was just listening to NTN last night and wanted to write, but Natalie was hard to fit in.

Kristen (2:41 PM): Trying to be difficult was she? Taking lessons from Boq?

Terri (2:42 PM): That she was. Boq isn't in my head. I think he realized what I was planning for him, or Fiyero warned him and both made a run for it.

Kristen(2:43 PM): They eloped? 0_ 0 You never can tell about some people. :P

Terri (2:44 PM): Ahahaha! I know, right? Who woulda thought? Prince Fiyero going out with our little munchkin? XP

Kristen (2:46 PM): The tabloids had a field day, Crope and Tibbett where the best man and maid of honor respectively (or was that the other way around? ), Glinda was reported as saying, "Finally! I was wondering when the fanfic authors would find someone else to play with." Elphaba's only response was, "What the Foq? " ;)

Terri (2:47 PM): Ahahaha! We should elaborate on that. Just think how awesome that crackfic would be!

Kristen (2:48 PM): It would be awesome, especially if we joined forces. Want to do it?

Terri (2:48 PM): OMG! Yes!

The rest was history...

The Substitute by fermataoso reviews
His eyes scanned her again, and he smirked. "Well, you clearly didn't dress up for Boq. Not with heels like those. Sex-y."
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 51,030 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Complete
Perfect For You reviews
It started as a prank, but ended as a marriage. What the thirst for revenge has joined, let no woman put asunder. The epic story of Foq. Dahling and Squintzie wonder twin powers activate! :P
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,059 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Fiyero T., Boq