Since I'm probably going to have like the longest profile ever, so I might as well tell some important things about me-
Ok so I'm one of the worlds worst spellers (I asked my BFF how to spell the...), I'm really short (although I am taller than 3 of my aunts), I am addicted to House (he is soooooo fledgen funny), sometimes I get in these wicked pissy moods (sooooo watch out), I hate cats (the only cat I like is Hello Kitty), I'm love Hello Kitty (I always have to go into the Hello Kitty store), my favorite types of movies are musicals (like Grease, Wizard of Oz, Sound of Music, ect.), I can' t spell but I can't stand when things are spelt wrong (so I will correct your spelling), The drama club at my school just put on the production Grease which was so much fun (I got to wear a poodle skirt, I love my poodle skirt), I hate Miley Cyrus (ok so I like her music, but I hate her as a person), I love music, I sing alot (well that is if i don't have laryngitis, I kinda get it alot if anyone knows how to prevent it please tell me), I love to shop (well what can I say I'm a girl), I play vollyball (LVP- Lady Viking Pride), I go to a Tech (so I only get homework every other week), I am obsessed with the show Bones (I love how she's so clueless), I have this OCD thing in History where my desk has to be perfect (it's only that class too), my favorite academic class is Spanish (I'm in Spanish 1 so it's mega easy and Senora lets us party all the time because she's from Mexico), my favorite teacher is Mrs. Knowles (It's really funny when she yells at Chris), and I stay up way to late to watch Lie To Me (I really want to learn how to tell when people are lying to me XD). So ya that' s pretty much all you need to know.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it'sweird.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to knock them out cold
“Bad parent say what?” -Wonka (Brenner M.) “What?” -Mr. Salt (Jordy K.) “Exactly!” - Wonka (Brenner M.)
I'm a dishonest man. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for." - Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
Chaos, panic, disorder. My work here is done
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
Knowledge is power, power is the root of all evil. Therefor study to be evil
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's learning to dance in the rain
You fight, I fight, U hurt, I hurt, U cry, I cry, U jump off a bridge, I get in a paddle boat and save your STUPID ASS!!
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now
Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "Storms suck"
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman..." - Maryon Pearson
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died..."
"When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action, they rented out my room..."
A wise man once said ''i don’t know ask a girl''
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
You cry i cry you laugh i laugh you jump off a bridge i laugh even harder
Be optimistic. All the people you hate are eventually going to die.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Guys don't fall for me; I trip them.
I'm gonna go touch the butt!! - a fish from finding Nemo
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel." -The Washington Post
I have come, Sire, to complain of one of your subjects who has been so audacious as to kick me in the belly. -Marie Antoinette
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.-Robert Bloch
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected.
If Barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends?
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.
Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so whats the point of practicing?
Everybody is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer J. Simpson
- If you have ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" or pulled on a door that said "Push", copy this into your profile.
- Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this is your profile
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Life isn’t fair. it's just fairer than death. that’s all.-William Goldman Pants book two
What would Scooby Do? - a bumper sticker
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you always stop to smell the roses, sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Team Edward cause Jacob don’t shine- a hoodie
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. -Carl Gustav Jung
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. -Benny Hill
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. -Billy Rose
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. -Cordel Hull
When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. -Dylan Thomas
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -Winston Churchill
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furballs that barfs on the furniture.
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A woman is like a tea bag... you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
“Isn’t it every little boy’s dream to be a pirate? I certainly played pirate when I was a kid!” -Orlando Bloom
A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute then forget the fruit!
Animal testing is futile! The animals always get nervous and give the wrong answers!
At Jesus' tomb, did angels really roll away the stone, or was it Juvenile Delinquents?
At the Last Supper, did He order the All-U-Can-Eat-Loaves-'N-Fishes-Buffet? Or would that have been redundant?
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Computers cut my work in half... and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Consider the following: The ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic was built by professionals.
Do communion wafers taste better in Corpus Christi, Texas, or in Sacramento, California?
Don't call us "gun nuts"! With a government like ours, we'd be nuts not to have guns!
Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee!
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards in high heels
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh? Wouldn't Jesus have preferred Gold, Platinum and Silver?
Gun Exchange programs would work great if they gave you a gun when you handed in a criminal!
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and I don't want to have to see you everyday
I'm a Frisbeeterian - When I die, my soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
I'm a right-wing, Republican, conservative Christian who thinks the spotted owl tastes like chicken.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".
“Yeah and Zeke, Zeke is baking, crambulay.” -Chad from HSM1
If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
If the 12 Apostles were to be marketed as action figures, would Judas be sold separately?
If I went to a realm were plants can actually read books -Flora
If you called His answering machine, what would the recording say? "I know who you are and why you are calling and at the tone of the beep your sins will be forgiven."
If you can't say something nice about somebody, then you've come to the right place.we have a moment of silence in public schools, shouldn't we also have a moment of noise in Bible schools
If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
lying is actually unhealthy.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
Is the human race God's excuse for talking to Himself so the other Gods won't gossip about how He's going soft in the head?
Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
It's Never Too Late to Mutate and we know our computers do it as soon as our backs are turned
It will be a great day when education is paid for and we see the military holding a bake sale to raise funds.
Jesus said, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and render up to God what is God's." So, at the Last Supper, did He turn down the Caesar's salad?
Jewish Pagans are like regular Pagans. We believe in the Mother Goddess, we just feel guilty about not calling.
Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils—people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
Stupid shiny Volvo driver.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
Shun the non-believer. SSHHUUNN!! SSHHUUNNN
Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say, "Just who do you think you are?"
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Put your friend's names in a circle and put your man's in a heart, hearts break but circles never end.
Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea...
The Bible is God's letter to Christians. If you don't understand it, that's what you get for reading other people's mail.
The Bible says that Jesus died for our sins. Couldn't you say the same thing about King Kong, Cool Hand Luke, and Frankenstein?
The easiest way to get rich is to start your own religion. - L. Ron Hubbard.
Was the crucifixion just a dice game that got terribly, terribly out of hand?
What if Noah had gotten drunk while he was on the ark and said, "HEY! Throw the animals overboard--bring the fish up here!"
When Jesus was on the cross, to pass the time, did he pretend he was an airplane?
When Peter chopped off the Centurion's ear at Gethsemene, and Jesus healed it, did He offer the Centurion a lollipop for being such a brave little man?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? It's easier to run with your kilt up than your pants down!
Why get real? Plastic is cheaper, It doesn't rot, It comes in prettier colors, and it's much easier to clean!
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Your so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back to you!
“The florist sign said ‘Your Mother called…. That’s good she ordered her own flowers… cause I didn’t order her any.” -my Mommy
If a women speaks in a forest with no man present is she still bitching?
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. -Peter De Vries
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. -Theodore Roosevelt
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. -Susan Ohanian
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. -Jim Eason
If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong." This method works every time. -Henry Link
If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
I'm an angel, honest, the horns are just there to keep the halo from falling! (My BFF and I say this all the time)
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me an angel, so what happened to you?
Don't call me a goddess, don't call me a queen, just call me the cutest princess you've ever seen.
If you don't like my driving, stay off the side walk!
If men are from Mars, why can't we send them back?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't fix your breaks, so i made your horn louder
You can push everyone around...just not through a door that says pull.
What goes around...usually gets dizzy and falls to the ground.
May your life be like toilet paper...long and useful
Before you find your handsome prince, You've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
If you’re gonna be 2 faced, then at least make 1 of them pretty
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk doesn't taste good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
I kissed a vampire and I liked it. - sweatshirt
"H-H-Hi..." -- Stitch
When life gives you lemons...Throw them back and demand Edward!
If you believe your own Edward Cullen is out there somewhere, add this. (I know he is out there somewhere and that he’s coming for me.)
If when ever you see the name Edward or anything close to Edward you start giggling uncontrollably, copy and past this to your profile.
If when ever you see the name Cullen or anything close to Cullen you start giggling uncontrollably, copy and past this to your profile.
When ever you see a shiny silver Volvo you start following it shouting "I LOVE YOU EDWARD CULLEN!" copy this to your profile.
"I knew it was only a matter of time. Appa ate Momo!" Sokka from avatar
"If we ever get married, we should just exchange buckets of chicken." -Donna (That's 70's Show)
"Stop, drop, and roll won't work down under." -unknown
"I'm tired of all this nonsense of beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want? An adorable pancreas?" ~Jean Kerr
Hey did you know that cockcrow was a word, if you didn't copy and paste this.
If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.
“When your head is stuck in the floor or ceiling if you prefloor” -Newt (Jason Dolley)
Life’s not a garden- so don’t be a hoe.
They say Disney World is the “happiest place on earth”. Obviously, they’ve never been in your arms.
Your born an ORIGINAL don’t die a copy.
A lie can travel half way around the world, while the truth is still putting on its shoes.
We live in a world where they take the most beautiful life ever lived and nail it to a cross.
Isn’t It Ironic?? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones that ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, & hurt the ones who love us.
Me without you is like: A Sneaker Without Laces, A Geeks Without Braces, ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
Sometimes ending things is like taking cough syrup. It tastes terrible and you’d rather not take it, but in the end its what you needed to make everything feel better.
I’m the author of my life unfortunately: I’m writing in pen & cant erase my mistakes…
If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever??
Fake is the new trend & everyone seems to be in style.
I am 99.9 sure he doesn’t like me, but it’s the 0.1 that keeps me going.
Oh look, just 2,852,677 more days ‘til I start caring what you think.
If people talk behind your back it’s because you’re ahead of them.’
I love you’ is eight letters but so is ‘bullshit’
Isn’t it funny how day-by-day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything’s different.
Smile because it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Meeting you was fate… Being your friend was choice… Falling in love with you I had no control over.
How can I stop crying when the only one who can make me stop was the one who made me start in the first place..??
Welcome to a world where people talk about each other and everyone lies and everyone tries to be something they’re not and nobody can keep a secret and friendships that lasted forever were broken. Yea well…. Its called LIFE.
Life doesn’t hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you’ve lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault.
I’m going to smile like nothing’s wrong, talk like everything’s perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend it’s not hurting me
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. ~ Robert Orben
There are a great many people in the country today, who through no fault of their own, are sane.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that money is useless if it is not going to a good cause."
"Mankind is hopeless. That is what makes Hope so important."
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
Ever wondered if illiterate people get the full effects of alphabet soup?
I would be unstoppable... if I could just get started.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. And a woman's gotta do what he can't!
Housework won't kill you, but why take the chance.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.
A clean house is a sign of a wasted house.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
If I killed everyone that was stupid I wouldn't have time to sleep.
Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Chocolate is proof that god wants us to be happy.