Author has written 10 stories for Pokémon, Harry Potter, Shark Tale, Cars, and Transformers/Beast Wars.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons...
For you are crunchy and good with ketchup...
'Ello me freaky darlin's...
Welcome ta th' Relm of Straitjackets and Domain of Insanity were me motto is...
Sanity is over-rated...
And when I'm no' workin' on me writin' and drawin' I'm commadin' a Crew of Online Pirates of the Good Ship Instiution on CountingDown.com...
I am also a Land Locked Pirate who Celebrates 'Talk Like a Pirate Day' On Spetember 19th...
Name: They call me Dray... Dray the Insane Pirate Dragon... Roar and Avas' me 'earties
Age:19 an' luvin' i'...
Gender: Female an' don't ye forge' i'!
Demenor: Insane with phases of psychotic evil momen's... Sometimes doesn' play well with others... Don' ge' me started 'cause ye will lose... I enjoy me shiny 'appy place a lot...
Favorite Movies: Mos'ly anything where something ge's blown up...
Shark Tale, Shrek 1&2, The Matrix Trilogy, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Finding Nemo, Road to El Dorado, Goonies, Harry Potter (Never was fond of Year 3), Little Shop of Horrors, War Movies, Mafia Movies, Tim Burton Films, Peter Jackson Films, an' of course any film involing Steven Spielberg.
Favorite TV Shows: Mos' Reality Shows, All the CSIs, Cold Case, Lost, The Inside, Mythbusters, American Chopper, Monster Garage, Monster House, Deadlest Catch, David Letterman, and Beyond Belief
Favorite Books: Mos'ly everything bu' grubby Romances
Harry Potter, Tokien, Douglas Adams, David Eddings, an' a few other Fantasy, Mystery, and Action/Adventure stories...
Other Websites Were I spend Me Time:
Mugglenet.Com(Keeps me sane, somewha')
Leaky Cauldron(Another goo' ol' Potter Site)
CountingDown.Com( Coun's down Movies)
ComingSoon.Net( Has up to date info on movies)
NeoPets.Com(Gives me something to do in me spare time)
Elfwood(Grea' place of artists starin' ou')
Th' Mind Se' Lis'
Born before 1987? Then ye be old! Every year Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin publishes wha' i' calls "Th' Mindse' Lis'"- a lis' o' fun fac's an' figures aou' th' incomin' crop o' freshies so professors will be able ta relate ta their new studen's. I' reminds us tha' th' world view o' today's new college studen's is significantly differen' from th' intellectual framework o' those studen's who entere' only a few years earlier.
Pu' i' another way, i' reminds ye tha' ye be gettin' in ye years...
1. Andy Warhol, Liberace, Jackie Gleason, and Lee Marvin have always been dead.
2. They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.
3. Heart-lung transplants have always been possible.
4. Wayne Gretzky never played for Edmonton.
5. Boston has been working on "the Big Dig" all their lives.
6. With little to practice, most of them do not know how to tie a tie.
7. Pay-per-view television has always been an option.
8. They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station wagon with six others.
9. Iran and Iraq have never been at war with each other.
10. They are more familiar with Greg Gumbel than with Bryant Gumbael.
11. Philip Morris has always owned Kraft Foods.
12. Al-Qaeda has always existed with Osama bin Laden at its head.
13. They learned to count with Lotus 1-2-3.
14. Car stereos have always rivaled home component systems.
15. Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker have never preached on television
16. Voice mail has always been available.
17. "Whatever" is not a part of a question but an expression od sullen rubuke.
18. The federal budget has always been more than a trillion dollars.
19. Condoms have always been advertised on television.
20. They may have fallen asleep playing with their Gameboys in the crib.
21. They have always had the right to burn the flag.
22. For daily caffeine emergencies, Starbucks has always been around the corner.
23. Ferdinand Marcos has never been in charge of the Philippines.
24. Money put in their savings account the year they were born earned almost 7 percent interest.
25. Bill gates has always been worth at least a billion dollars.
26. Dirty dancing has always been acceptable.
27. Southern fried chicken, prepared with a blend of 11 herbs and spices, has always been available in China.
28. Michael Jackson has always been bad, and greed has always been good.
29. The Starship Enterprise has always looked dated.
30. Pixar has always existed.
31. There has never been a "fairness doctrine" at the FCC.
32. Judicial appointments routinely have been "Borked."
33. Aetha Franklin has always been in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
34. There have always been zebra mussels in the Great Lakes.
35. Police have always been able to search garbage without a search warrent.
36. It has always been possible to walk from England to mainland Europe on Dry land.
37. They have grown up in a single superpower world.
38. They missed the oart bran diet craze.
39. American Moters has never existed.
40. Scientists have always been able to see supernovas.
41. Les Miserables has always been on stage.
42. Halogen lights have always been available at home, with a warning.
43. "Baby M" may be a classmate, and contracts wit hsurrogate mothers have always been legal.
44. RU486, the "morning after pill," has always been on the market.
45. There has always been a pyramid in front of the Louvre in Paris.
46. British Airways has always been privately owned.
47. Irradiated food has always been available but controversial.
48. Snowboarding has always been a popular winter sport.
49. Libraries have always been the best cneters for computer technology and access to good software.
50. Biosphere 2 has always been trying to create a revolution in the life sciences.
51. The Hubble Telescope has always been focused on new frontiers.
52. Researchers have always been looking for stem cells.
53. They do not remember "a kinder and gentler nation."
54. They never saw the challenger fly.
55. The TV networks have always had cable partners.
56. Airports have always had upscale shops and restaurants.
57. Black Americans have always been known as African-Americans.
58. They never saw Pat Sajak or Arsenio Hall host a late night television show.
59. Matt Groening has always had a Life in Hell.
60. Salman Rushdie has always been watching over his shoulder.
61. Digital cameras have always existed.
62. Tom Landry never coahced the Cowboys.
63. Time Life and Warner Communications have always been joined.
64. CNBC has always been on the air.
65. The Feild of Dreams has always been drawing people to Iowa.
66. They never saw a Howard Johnson's with 28 ice cream flavors.
67. Reindeer at Christmas have always distingushed between secular and religious decorations.
68. Entertainment Weekly has always been on the newsstand.
69. Lyme disease has always been a ticking concern in the woods.
70. Jimmy Carter has always been an elder statesman.
71. Miss Piggy and Kermit has always dwelt in Disneyland.
72. "America's Funniest Home Videos" has always been on television.
73. Their nervous new parents heard C. Everett Koop proclaim nicotine as addictive as heroin.
74. Lever has always been looking for 2000 parts to clean.
75. They have always been challenged to distinguish between news and entertainment on cable TV.
In me 19 years o' life I 'ave learned many things... An' 'ere's wha' I 'ave so far...
Me lis' ta Live By
If all else fails, Trust the Magic 8 Ball, it's never been wrong before.
Never try to understand politics, It means 'many ticks' in latin.
Never test a helmet's strength with a sledgehammer while wearing it.
If they say don't try it at home, listen to them.
If all else fails cheat and blame it on someone else.
-Watch Monty Python, learn it, bring it up in polite conversation, dispatches the crowds.
Harry Potter isn't just for little kids.
-What your mama don't find out can't hurt her, your father will.
-Duct tape can fix almost anything but relationships.
- Do somthing yoer mother told you not to do at least once.
-AOL disks from the mail can be used as cheap coasters and low grade frisbees.
-Never try to understand golf.
-Baseball can become a contact sport once the bats fly.
-Never put a LotR fan and a Star Wars fan in the same room together, if you do call Jerry and bring the popcorn.
-NEVER under any circimstances, understamate the power of Murphy's Law
-No matter what everyone says, the snooze button is the greatest invention known to man
-To understand cricket, you must first understand what a crumpet is.
-If it's stupid and works, then it's not stupid.
-A computer will stop working once it's been to a college party...
"I cheer for 'Jaws'"
"If it weren't for crazy people, we would still be in the stone age."
"It's not a fetish!"
"All stressed out and nobody to choke!"
"Don't make me go medieval on you."
"Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies."
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"
"I don't do mornings."
"I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane."
"I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it."
"I’m insured by the mafia, you hit me and we'll hit you."
"I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"
"Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them."
"Your village called, their idiot is missing."
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
"Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them."
"Why be normal?"
"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets."
"Friends help you move, but real friends help you move dead bodies."
"Sometimes the dragon wins."
"If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough."
"You say Psycho like it's a bad thing."
"What is she on and where can I get some"
"Don't make me go 'Exorcist' on your butt"
"I would hurt you if I didn't have people riverdancing in my head"
"You're an evil plant, but your a happy evil plant."
"If first you don't suceed, cheat like hell and blame someone else"
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams.
"When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going?"
- Douglas Gauck.
"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
"."Duct tape is like the force, it has a light and dark side, and it binds the universe together."
"Life is like a bull, grab it by the tail and it takes you for a wide"
"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
As a some-wha' funcionly pirate I be a member o' a couple o' online galleries...
Me portait: http://www.deviantart.com/view/27736003/
A fishified verson of meself in 'oner o' ST: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/28714871/
Me gallery a' Elfwood...
Me Charaters I 'ave an' will 'ave... They be mine... No touche!
Leila the Great White Sharkess
Age: 21... 22... She can't really remember her birthday.
Appearence: Violet eyes, toned with muscle, her back bears crisscrossing scars and a scar on the back of her head, a white spot on the right side of the upper lobe of her tail.
Description: Shes' not your typical sharkess. What she lacks in glamour and pose, she makes up in natural wild beauty. It probably doesn't help being raised by Tigers since they found her when she was a pup. She doesn't have many memories of her past. Her sarcastic and rough demeanor along with her temper has made her into one of the fiercest retrieval experts and hit-sharks around. She performed her fisrt hit at age 16 under the watchful eye of her foster father, Don Carvati, and has earned the nickname of "Bellies up". She despises Don Carvati and only wants to find the shark that killed the family that she can't remember. Think of her as an aquatic Meg from 'Hercules'.
Voice: Eliza Dushku
Eddie the Great White Shark
Appearance: Built like a lineback and well-muscled, dark purple eyes, a white spot on the upper lobe of his tail along with teeth mark scars covering his tail.
Description: A young soldier for Lino, Eddie is one of Lenny's friends. He came to SouthSide after Carvati killed his father, Don Hesco, and his mother. Though he's a fun loving guy, he will kill any Tiger he sees and wants nothing more than to find his missing sister, Dani, and kill the shark responsible for it all, Don Carvati.
Voice: The Rock
Maria the Great White Sharkess
Appearance: Blue eyes, quite skinny, very 'Mary-Sueish', and not very bright.
Description: Is what you expect a Mobster's daughter to act: spoiled, stuck-up, and thinks she can get everything she wants, including a certain Don's son. She gets extremely jealous when she's around the 'wild sharkess', and if it weren't the fact that she couldn't fight, there would be a few cat fights going down.
Voice: Paris Hilton
Aira the great White Sharkess
Appearance: Petite with turquoise eves, much smaller than Leila
Description: Is a young therapist for the local mobsters od SouthSide, not to mention dating Eddie. She is also a skilled lip and body language reader, she can read most sharks like open books. She's thoughtful and conserved and believes that under Leila's tough hide there is a kind heart and soul.
Voice: Selma Blair
Vinny the Tiger Shark
Appearance: A large bulky shark with black beady eyes and a scar on his nose that he received from a brawl Leila
Description: Vinny 'The Clubs' is not a shark to be messed with. If he has the opportunity he will kill any shark that stands up to him, including a certain hit-sharkess that killed his brother, Louie.
Voice: Vin Diesel
Tito the Tiger Shark
Appearance: Scrawny with a ragged dorsal fin and several nicks in his fins and tail, he also has black eyes.
Description: A nervous jittery shark compared to his older brothers, Vinny and Louie. It prbably doesn't help having a Mob Boss breathing down his gills. Since her seems to mess up the simplest of tasks, it has Carvati thinking that he isn't worth having around anymore.
Voice: Andy Dick
Joey the Tiger Shark
Appearance: A lean muscled shark with pale sapphire eyes and thin narrow black stripes running along the edges of his fins and tail.
Description:Compared to his father, Don Carvati, 'Joey Blue Eyes' is quite laid back and wants nothing to do wit hthe Mob Wars. He is a joker and troublemaker and thinks of himself as a 'Ladie's Shark' but in a scrape he can pull his own as well as any.
Voice: Seann William Scott
Don Carvati the Tiger Shark
Appearance: Heavily muscled with a single pale spphire blue eye and narrow black stripes running along the edges of his fins and tail. Is battered and scarred with a chunk of his tail missing and he is also missing an eye.
Description: A transplantes SouthSider, Carvati is a shark no one wants to make mad. He took over the Donship aster Hesco's murder. He found Leila as a pup and now has her working for him. He's greedy and skims the local businesses for his taxes, leaving North Reefs broke while he basks in the riches.
Voice: Christopher Walken or James Wood
DeSoto the Tiger Shark
Appearance: Warm hazel eyes and obsidian stripes, still has his bulging muscle from his life with the mob.
Description: A retired Capo of North Reefs, he now owns and runs the 'Last Chance Tavern' and wants nothing more to do with Carvati since he killed his youngest son. He onced headed up one of the fiercest crews, the 'Black Anchors', which included Leila, who he taught to fight. Recently he's been helping her to try and uncover her past.
Voice: Dustin Hoffman or Burt Reynolds
Kal the Tiger Sharkess
Appearance: An Elegant sleek sharkess with hazel eyes and obsidian stripes
Description: A firey tempered sharkess with a no-nonsence attitude to the much quieter tiger sharkesses in North Reefs. her father, DeSoto, taught her to fight but only uses it to throw out the bar riffraff. She also plays guitar for the house bands that come to the bar.
Voice: Emily Deschanel
Dodger the Tiger Shark
Appearance: Tall and muscled with hazel eyes and obsidian stripes.
Description: A large quiet shark, Dodge prefers not to fight unless it's breaking up fights in his father DeSoto's bar or keeping the Mob Sharks away from his sister, Kal. He also plays the drums for the hous bands.
Voice: Vincent Spano
My 'Shark Tale' fic will more than likely become the first in a series...