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Joined 09-20-09, id: 2090133, Profile Updated: 10-20-11
Author has written 4 stories for Fairy Tales, and Naruto.

Hi I'm Calandra

I've read fan fiction for years so I decided to have a go for myself.

About me: I spend most of my free time reading books (of almost any genre), playing computer games, handing out with my friends, and having hour long comedy pig-outs iplayering all my favourite BBC news satire and stand up comedy programs. I am terrible about making plans and not caring them out so if at some point in the future you are reading multi chapter series which I'm not updating fast enough please keep reminding me. I try hard not to be hypocritical so I would never dream of complaining about other people’s spelling because being dyslexic myself I don't find it easy, but word to the wise, coping stuff into Microsoft word is great for getting the spelling mistakes out.

My favourite books are Artemis Fowl, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, The Hunger games, The princess diaries, the mortal engines series, The Falco series, Curse of Chalion, lord Peter Whimsy detective novels, Pride and prejudice.

My favourite animes: Death Note is epic but I live for Naruto (If I miss the weekly episode I get withdrawal symptoms) recruiting people to these animies is my personal nonviolent (usually) crusade. I’ve also watched Fruits Basket and Lovely complex and really enjoyed them, but I’m currently looking for a new anime to watch (preferably relatively sort and completed) so if anyone reading this has a suggestion as to what I should watch next I’d appreciate getting messaged.

Couples I like:

Naruto/ Hinata (she loved him so much for so long she deserves success and she's the only one who could cope with our favourite knuckleheaded ninja 24/7)

Shikamaru/ Temari (with so much flirting its positively canon)

Neji/ Tenten (who else could put up with the wonderful but infuriating bastard)

Ino/ Chouji (I love the chubby (not fat!) guy he deserves a girlfriend)

Sakura/ Sasuke (he's a prick but he’s the one she wants and she’s waited so long she deserves happiness)

Holly/ Trouble (my favorite Artemis Fowl by far)

Holly/ Artemis (not as good as the above but since the Devinne Eoin Colfer seems to be favoring this combination how are mere mortals like us supposed to object)

Artemis/ Minerva (it frees Holly up for trouble and the children would be insanely clever)

Root/ Vinaya (It was meant to be! See evidence in the quote section)

With Harry potter I tend to favour canon couples but most aren’t really interesting enough for good stories but the exceptions are:

James/ Lily (I love storeys about them getting together)

Hermione/ Draco (I really don't know why I like this one I just do)

Fang/ Max (Dylan is an unwanted intruder)

Katniss/ Peeta (I like Peeta more than Gale)

Couples I don't like:

Root/ Holly (his was like a father to him so its just wrong in so many ways)

Max/ Dilan (intruder, grrrr)

Katniss/ Gale ( I don't approve of best friends complicating characters love lives (my best friend is a guy and I love him to pieces just not romantically))

Hinata/ kiba (the same best freind problem as before)

Ino/ shikamaru (he belongs with temari and I've got my heart set on her and Chouji)

Lily/ Sirius (he shouldn't steel his best friends girl)

My favourite quotes (please feel free to copy whatever you want and spread the wisdom):

Commander Root: "possibly Vinyaya. She's always had a thing for me, devilishly attractive as I am" (See their meant to be together)

"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". --Gandhi ( a wise truth the world should remember)

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde ( I try to live by this)

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great". - Golda Meir

"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."
...-- Plato ( belonging to the former category despite what people might say)

“day dreams are the only way to make an ordinary life extraordinary”- Calandra (me!!!)

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt


A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (I see this as an order to procrastinate)

Say No to Prop 8!! (for those of you who don’t' know it's against gay marriage)
1) Being gay is not natural.
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts...
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour.
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all;
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;
And we can’t let the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our population isn’t out of control, our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children,
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms.

Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In Between The Lines by glockcourage reviews
A/N: Just read in between the lines. A couple of drabbles and some I can't seem to control. Uhm things are really getting out of hand. Ratings vary. No spoilers. Complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 118 - Words: 53,348 - Reviews: 673 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 10/7/2014 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
The Lamest Proposal Ever by Ink Reservoir reviews
In which marrying Temari is a last-minute decision.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/26/2013 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
Storm by Senka Hitomi reviews
'She bit her lip and didn't look at him, afraid to admit the one thing she'd felt every day of her life. "Neji… I'm terrified."' Directly pre-war Team Gai NejiTen one-shot. Tenten-centric.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,161 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/14/2012 - [Tenten, Neji H.] - Complete
Luck of the Draw by Senka Hitomi reviews
All she wanted to know was how much she meant. "I just hope that you would… come after me. Not just leave me to be kidnapped." His expression was one of complete condescension, as though she had just said the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/13/2012 - [Tenten, Neji H.] - Complete
Angel's Shouldn't Cry by Mizuno-Suzuka reviews
"A..Ang…" I needed to joke with her, to lessen the tension in her eyes. Ino always hated my jokes, she told me they were corny and unnecessary. I agreed with her. But the laughter in her eyes was to precious to me for me to stop. Inoxchoji, One Shot
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,734 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Chōji A., Ino Y. - Complete
The CoStar Killer by momoirousagichan reviews
Tsuruga Ren has a reputation for making his co-stars fall in love with him. So despite knowing that, why is Kyoko looking forward to co-starring with him?
Skip Beat! - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 149,654 - Reviews: 1196 - Favs: 1,240 - Follows: 577 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Ren, Kyoko M. - Complete
SharpBladed Spirit by FenixPhoenix reviews
Knowing she has no other choice, Tenten accepts an S-Rank mission that entails her to get captured and tortured. But what happens when Neji finds out? Will he be able to reach her before it's too late? ::TentenxNeji:: ::slight, one-sided SaixTenten:: R&R. Finished & Revised!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 56,617 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - [Tenten, Neji H.] Ibiki M., Sai - Complete
A Portrait of Youth by JanuaryFriend reviews
What is life, without a few good friends by your side? Snapshots from the youth of Team Gai.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,902 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 3/19/2009 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Team Gai - Complete
The Legend of the Pearl Medallion by Potterdancer616 reviews
Lily Evans is bored with her rich life. She wishes that a handsome pirate would take her away. What happens when Captain Potter does, and why is he interested in her necklace? Full of swashbuckling romance and adventure!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 66,705 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 5/26/2008 - James P., Lily Luna P. - Complete
Ripples by Yellow Mask reviews
Complete. AU from 309 onwards. Following a botched mission, Sakura is made a slave by Sound, a position that could very well alter the future…especially concerning a certain familiar missing-nin. SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,883 - Reviews: 4753 - Favs: 7,883 - Follows: 2,356 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Story of Four Friends by Star of the North reviews
Twenty years before Harry Potter entered Hogwarts for the first time, four young men had made that self-same journey. Twenty years before Harry Potter there were the Marauders. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. This is their story. Post HBP. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 324,870 - Reviews: 1094 - Favs: 903 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 1/21/2009 - Published: 3/12/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Thoughts on the Teme by Guttersnipe reviews
Naruto muses on his best friend and rival's feelings towards Team Seven. [Friendship fic twixt Naruto and Sasuke. Some SasuketoSakura elements.] [Kind of turned into a drabble, which I hate myself for. So please don't add to the hate.]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Lee's Guide to Rocking the Green Spandex Jumpsuit by Guttersnipe reviews
Rock Lee loves his Green Spandex Jumpsuit. Obviously he wears it every freakin’ day! But, it does entail certain challenges for the wearer. Of course, challenges only build character, experience, and Youthfulness, which is why Lee has composed a guide.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,035 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2007 - Lee R., Neji H. - Complete
Death and the Nonbeliever by IrisEclipsed reviews
[AU] Neji's life is getting complicated: School is becoming chaotic, Death is on his case, and he might just be falling for his best friend. [Neji x Tenten] [Minor pairings: SasuSaku, InoShikaTem, NaruHina] [COMPLETE]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 55,628 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 7/14/2007 - Published: 2/3/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Cutting Water by NessieGG reviews
In Tang Dynasty China, the House of Long fights to protect their way of life from the Uchiha clan. Hyuuga Neji of Japan is sent to assist them and finds a secret war, a deception to the Empress, and a woman unlike any he has known. [AU][NejiTen, SasuSaku]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 53,876 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 1/6/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
I'll Take it Shaken, Not Stirred by Jewels5 reviews
Mix: 1 portion each of mystery, mayhem, and murder. Add: James, Lily, spies, school, and sarcasm. Stir in: 1 tablespoon each of chaos and enmity. Blend using: sense of humor and ability to read. Serve: shaken, not stirred...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 241,427 - Reviews: 1167 - Favs: 1,440 - Follows: 498 - Updated: 11/14/2006 - Published: 6/8/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Fifty Nine Moves by Oh Dee reviews
It only took fifty nine moves for checkmate.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,120 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 116 - Published: 8/31/2006 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
Capitulate by arabesque05 reviews
You watch her, careful that she never sees, never realizes, never hopes for anything more than cold disdain. Maybe you’re a sadist. Or a masochist. Or just stupid. But still she smiles, breathtaking and beautiful. And for you. [SasuSaku] [Oneshot]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,415 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 1,320 - Follows: 175 - Published: 8/2/2006 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Juppon Buki by Istoria reviews
Ten weapons, ten stories, the long path to achieving a dream. A character study of the weapons expert Tenten.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,752 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 825 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/19/2006 - Published: 8/11/2004 - Tenten - Complete
The Little Muggle by Sunny Hunny reviews
Lily Evans is a muggle, and she falls in love with a Wizard, James Potter. The Dark Lord, Voldemort, gives Lily some magic and 3 days to make James fall in love with her. This is AU and loosely based on the Little Mermaid. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,080 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/23/2005 - Published: 8/16/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Ten Things James Likes Most About Lily Evans by White-Lily-Blossom reviews
Just what the title says. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/6/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Sohma Institute by Lady of the Ink reviews
{COMPLETE} AU- Tohru has just started a new part-time job as an aide at the Sohma Institute, where Yuki, Kyou, and others are patients. As she learns about their unique problems, will she be able to help them all?
Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 32 - Words: 76,729 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 9/24/2004 - Published: 5/2/2003 - Tohru H., Yuki S. - Complete
A Sorting Song by Severus by Textualsphinx reviews
BLOODY BRILLIANT Award Winner. Who but Severus would write a song that insults every house but his own in polysyllabic rhyming couplets? If Rowling were in her grave, she'd be spinning..
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 1,293 - Follows: 153 - Published: 3/25/2002
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Musings on a freind in love reviews
When there are no clouds Shikamaru watches people, in this case his team mates. He reflects to Chouji's obvious devotion and Ino's apparent obliviousness. InoxChouji ShikamaruxTemari
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,256 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Chōji A., Ino Y. - Complete
How they first became freinds reviews
This is a story set in acadamy so isn't very romantic. Its about Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji becoming freinds but it mostly focuses on Ino and Chouji and he is the veiw point character. I have tried to realisicaly incapture the personalities as children.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/26/2011 - Chōji A., Ino Y.
Chouji's secret thoughts reviews
A tribute to one the series most overlooked characters. Its about all the resons why Chouji secretly loves Ino. Set just after the Chunin exams.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Chōji A., Ino Y. - Complete
Not so little red ridding hood: a prorody reviews
My take on the classic story. A teenager with atitude problems with the help of her long suffering guardian angel need to avoid getting eatten and save grandma. Written in play form. My first fanfic so be nice.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/27/2010
Goldberry (113)
KNO (104)
KuyaNR (117)
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