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Joined 09-21-09, id: 2091776, Profile Updated: 04-16-11
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Formerly known as Just Call Me Batgirl.


The coolest dork you'll ever meet...

Hilo, I'm Nina...

Here's some quick facts about me: I have blue black hair. Blue eyes (But I love to wear different colored contacts.) I wear lots of nailpolish. I'm a kiwi. I'm not a vampire (sadly) you would be very surprized at how much people ask me. I'm sort of gothic and emo-ish. I have an obsession with guys wearing nailpolish, I think it's hot. I watch a lot of comedy movies/television shows. I have WAY too much time on my hands. I write Fanfiction. I'm allergic to the sunlight*smirk*. Though I have black hair ATM blonde still runs through my veins so I can be very thick. I'm a Taurus, and proud. My imagination knows no bounds. I REALLY, REALLY want to adopt a lemur and name him Plio (yes I know that's a girls name,) I'll feed him mangoes and build him a tree hutty thing. That is all.

My Stories: Odds are I'm never gonna finish any of them. (Me 1: Correct!. Me 2: *sighs*)

Got Twilight?: Is a parody of course, if you touch it I will cut you *pulls out pocket knife* It's mine. (Me 1: *whispers* For now... Me 2: Go back to your cage!)

Carmen of Denali: Irresistable: Supposed to be a oneshot so there.

AND I'm working on another story that I may or may not post, this time sort of True Blood crossed with Twilight based.

For now Au Revior!

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Twilight Outtakes by s. du jour reviews
Inspired by the 'Outtakes' section on Stephenie Meyer's website. Selected scenes from Twilight are given a bit of a twist. Edward will eat, Jacob will juggle, Bella will blush, and Charlie will cry. And so will you. With laughter...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,612 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/10/2011 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
WHAT THE ! by Alyssa Verkee reviews
Twilight cliches! I mean honestly! I cannot stand another Edward is a man-whore story!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,903 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/9/2011 - Published: 9/29/2010 - Bella
Twilight: Truth or Dare by Autumnstar17 reviews
What will happen when you've got the entire cast of Twilight locked in a room with a questionably sane director and an infinite number of truths and dares? Well, there's only one way to find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 43,067 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/1/2011 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Complete
Twilight Scrapbook of Memories by tookkia reviews
Something entirely new! The beginning of a long collection of short letters,journals, and other random 'funnies' our beloved Twilight characters may have experienced. No specific order, just for fun. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,645 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/25/2011 - Published: 8/12/2010
Emmett Watermelons and, Squirrels? by archgurl reviews
Emmett, watermelons, and squirrels. What do YOU think will happen? This was going to only be a one shot, but now it is more like a collection of one shots. Updated when I get ideas.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,406 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Emmett Sings A Song by Eric Cartman kicks ass reviews
Emmett sings a bunch of songs for the Cullen Family. And they don't like it
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Emmett - Complete
WWWT by Every1's Beta reviews
What's wrong with Twilight? These are just some of the few things I noticed about Twilight that are... questionable at best. No FLAMES... the title tells you what this story is about.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 10,218 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Complete
25 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by ForeverEnshrined reviews
Pretty self explanatory summary. *hint hint, read the title! Twilight characters change by the chapter. Rated K
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Complete
20 ways to get kicked out of WalMart by IWasToBlindToSeeThat reviews
Ways to get kick out of walmart. Nessie and Em are getting kick out of walmart.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 729 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/3/2010 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Emmett
full moon by xSirenSongx reviews
"He left me! Am I really just a pet?" That was the only thing Bella could think of as she watched her true love leap out his bedroom window. Will she ever be the same again? Will Edward return, when? How can he be so close yet unreachable? daybreak part2
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 25 - Words: 98,164 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Looking Up With Brand New Eyes by Emmett's Only Angel reviews
The Paramore gang find themselves stuck in the world of Twilight
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,052 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 8/17/2010
Why Felix Is Not Allowed Near His Cape by iFellOffMars reviews
After there was Why Aro Is Not Allowed Near The Blender and Why Jane Is Not Allowed Near The Knives there was a Felix and his cape.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Felix - Complete
What the Twilight Saga has Taught Me by jones2000 reviews
Rather self-explanatory, and written for fun. Flamers will be ignored.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 605 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Complete
Twilight jokes by i-love-jasper-cullen reviews
Really funny ones!Like A:what do Edward and a christmas tree have in commen? B:There balls are for decaration!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/13/2010
Carlisle's Diary by Ashabagawa reviews
Exactly what it says on the tin; the innermost thoughts and feelings of the Dr Man himself. What goes on in that hugely massive and gigantic watermelon of a brain of his? WARNING: May cause suffocation if read in an airtight container.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,069 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/26/2010 - Published: 4/18/2010 - Carlisle
Ten Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen by OoOoOoO-Paris-Falls-OoOoOoO reviews
CarlisleIsAlwaysSoCalmAndCollectedNothingEverSeemsToAnnoyHimButEmmettKnowsDifferently:LetMeBePerfectly Clear:IDoNotOwnTheRightsToThisListSomeoneToldMeThatNikatil@DeviantArtWroteTheActualList,IWroteTheStoriesThat YouWillFindInThisFanFic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,193 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Carlisle, Emmett - Complete
Part of Your World by crackbabby reviews
Of three things I was absolutely certain. First: Edward Cullen was a mermaid. Second: There was some part of him, and I wasn't sure how potent that part might be, that wanted my guinea pig. Third: I was absolutely and irrevocably weirded out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,275 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 8/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
How to get a vampire to fall in love with you by Vandylia reviews
*WARINING: Only to be read if reader is willing to give their love away. And never get it back. It's an Irreversible Process.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 714 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010
Your Average Unsmart Vampire by Flypaper-Writer reviews
Emmett has a stuffed pony named Judie. She seems to be able to talk...well only to him. Can the Cullens stop this doll from corrupting him, or corrupting him more than he already is? Crack!Fic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,654 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/4/2010 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Emmett
Sassy Gay Friend by cheriepie89 reviews
This is Bella Swan, from the Twilight Series. She is about to jump off a cliff. This could have been avoided if she had a Sassy Gay Friend. crack!fic.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Mike's Letter to Bella Swan by Crimson Magenta reviews
This is Mike's letter to Bella, telling her about why she should be with him.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Mike, Bella - Complete
88 Things The New Moon Movie Has Taught Us by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
New Moon? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 953 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010
Twinkle by DaTwinklePeople reviews
A hilarious spoof of Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 780 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/19/2010 - Published: 10/5/2009
20 ways on How to Provoke the Volturi! by 20wayss reviews
Our first "20 ways" list, no immortality necessary. Enjoy and please review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Aro, Jane
Bloopers by Duck Life reviews
Possible bloopers that could happen while they film the movies. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 618 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/3/2009
What your Birthday Means Twilight Style by Jembee reviews
What your Birthday Means Twilight Style. What you did on your birthday and why. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009
100 Ways to know you're obsessed by Marie Alice Brandon Cullen reviews
Ever wondered if you are truly obsessed about Twilight? Well, here is a list of a few things that obsessed Twilight girls, like myself would do. #32 Ran an online search in your school computer for any boys named Edward or Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,201 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 6/18/2008
50 Things James is Not Allowed to Do by Patronus Charm reviews
For all the lovers of 10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters! I know these stories have been done before, but I hope you haven't used up all the popcorn just the same...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/19/2008 - James - Complete
41 Things Emmett Cullen Must Not Do by Shikamaru's Shadows reviews
Self-explanatory.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Emmett - Complete
50 Things by insertwickedpennamehere reviews
50 Things that no Twilight fangirl is ever allowed to do. No matter what.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 543 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Complete
Twilight Fanfiction Etiquette by Insanity's Partner reviews
Everything--And I mean EVERYTHING--there is to know about writing a Twilight fanfiction. I've got it down from Planning, to Summaries, to Grammar, to Other Characters, to Research...and even what to do when you get a writer's block! -Version 3.0-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,792 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 6/30/2007 - Complete
Better Left Unknown by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Crackfic. Just a bit of stupid fun. Don't read if you have no sense of humor. Bella and Emmett watch his favorite show, so Emmett can teach Bella something very disturbing about Edward...One-shot. Short.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 29 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Complete
When the 'wtf' plot bunny bites? by goldeneyez-x reviews
this was all very random. the idea bit me in my brain randomly...so yes. Flames allowed. I never get flames, so it'd be a change xD VERY OOC, funny, random, crap, wtf in most places. T - for POSSIBLE: swearing, violence and sexual references - xD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,924 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/7/2008 - Published: 6/17/2008
51 Ways to Piss Off Edward Cullen by Violetcarson reviews
Just what exactly gets under the skin of everyone's favorite vampire?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 868 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Complete
They flip and they flop by VampiressE12B reviews
WHo invented flip flops? Aro of couse.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 341 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
It's THat Time of Month, Again by Bobby Rae reviews
I know it's embarassing, but hilarious. involves, Emmett getting an education in feminine products, high hormones, Ben and Jerry's, mismatched shoes, mysterious manicures and pedicures, and green eggs and ham. I will not eat them Sam I am!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,083 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 5/17/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8425 - Favs: 7,630 - Follows: 1,777 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
The Mostly True Confessions of Edward Cullen by willywonka5 reviews
Edward Cullen opens up his heart and soul to his pretty pink diary.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 682 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Edward, Edward
Ridiculous things the human Cullens do by tortgirl reviews
A series of one shots of the Cullens before they were vampires, first up is Alice.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/22/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008
Twilight Fanfiction is Scary! by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Everyone loves a good old heated up Twilight fanfiction. But how will Edward and Bella react when they go on to the fan fiction network by the advice of Alice and read some? please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,315 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 2/8/2008 - Published: 7/12/2007
Emmett Goes Prettyboy by Zukaddy reviews
SEQUEL TO EMMETT GOES EMO! Emmett goes prep, nuff said.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 8,035 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 11/5/2007 - Complete
Emmett Goes Emo by Zukaddy reviews
Emmett Goes Emo... nuff said... rated T just in case....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,200 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 11/1/2007 - Published: 9/19/2007 - Complete
We Teach Friends Health Insanity Room 191 by L.C.Candle reviews
Notice: Persons attempting to find a Motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a Moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a Plot in it will be shot. [Formally known as Welcome to Insanity Room 191]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 24,367 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 6/23/2007 - Published: 11/24/2006
Lapdog by jato unit reviews
one shot . slash . EdwardxJacob . It's rather humorous when a two hundred something pound wolf gets the idea that it's a twenty pound lapdog. Well, that is unless you're the one being sat upon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,370 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 20 - Published: 2/26/2007 - Complete
Herbacidal ManEATINGiacs by L.C.Candle reviews
The Bold Color Dry Erase Certified AP Nontoxic, Conforms to ASTM D4236. U.S.A. ...are ATTACKING. Rated T for swearings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,068 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/23/2006
Welcome to Forks by Rhiann reviews
Our lives are entirely normal. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 27 - Published: 11/21/2006
Hot Stuff by sillybella reviews
Emmett and Jasper are worried about Edward and Bella's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 911 - Follows: 149 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Jacob Black Buys a New Pair of Socks by Rhiann reviews
Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 65 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Got Twilight? reviews
This random Twilight Fanfic contains minor coarse language, sexual innuendo and scary deranged Mike Newtons... R&R if you dare...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,939 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 1/10/2011
Carmen of Denali: Irresistable
Carmens POV of 'Breaking Dawn-Irresistable'when the Denali Coven meet Ness for the first time.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/7/2010 - Complete