Cocoa Sunflowers
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 09-22-09, id: 2092508, Profile Updated: 06-10-10
Author has written 3 stories for Artemis Fowl.

My name is Cocoa Sunflowers.
This is my profile.
I rule this territory with the force and an iron fist. Ironman helps me sometimes, but I do not want to get into all that copyright shit.

I "Flamed" You

You may be visiting this profile because I flamed you and you want to see who would dislike your "wonderful" work. I am a flamer in training if I must tell you. I only give constructive criticism but watch out, if your story makes my eyes burn I WILL flame you. -sigh- I wish there was a kind of filter that would extract flowers from shit but I am not that lucky. So I surf through the fictions and review them until I find a good story. Then my wrath stops for awhile.

Fandoms I visit and review:
- Artemis Fowl
- Twilight (Bashing fics only, unless they involve the characters with a personality.)
- Harry Potter (I just started looking at Harry Potter fanfics.)
- Warriors (So. Much. Badfic.)
- X-Men: The Movie
- Star Wars (My newest venture.)
- Percy Jackson and the Olympians

That's it for now.

My Writing

We all know that FF.net is for writers (and people who think their writers) so here is the bit of my profile that centers around my writing.

What I suck at: I have bad grammar. If I really work at it then my writing is good but I always have to edit my story a lot, or take a long time to write it. I also cannot carry a story on if it has multiple chapters. I am working on that skill but i won't come out with a multi chaptered story until I finish that book I haven't started on inkpop.

What I rock at: I am awesome at one shots. Generally if there is a fic around 2,000 words long and I'm the authoress, I would recommend you read it. I also have a lot of facts and quotes in my head so I can base my stories around those. Other things I'm good at are spelling, plot, and spotting out little errors.

My Opinions

Reviews
"OMG This story is tots ausome!!!!1!!!1! Plz update soon..!'
OMG, shut the fuck up.

That's right readers. I would prefer that anyone who gives reviews that are just a line should go burn tin the fiery pits of the hell below hell. Why not hell, you ask? Because I'm going there dammit, and I do not want all those fucking idiots filling my head with 'chatspeak' for the rest of my eternal damnation.

Slash
My old opinions suck, slash is THE SHIT. I should really try writing some slash someday. Just. No. Yaoi.

Flames
There are two types of "flames" according to newbies. There is the famous "your story sucks get off the site" flame and then there is the "flame" That isn't a "flame" at all. Yeah, I'm referring yo constructive criticism, the best thing an author can give. If you are serious about writing you want constructive criticism. So when I give you constructive criticism and you tell me to fuck off, seriously, look at the bloody constructive criticism.

Opal Fandom
Do you know who uses Opal. The writers who can't think of anything better to write about. We are tired of Opal in fandom and we are sort of tired of the canon form of Opal. So don't have her break the other Opal out of prison and do not have her try and take over the world again. Thank you.

Twilight
I read Twilight and the first time I enjoyed it. God forbid, I LIKED it. Then I read it again and I was asking myself what kind of shit I was reading. So, if your reading this and you are a Twihard, put those fangirly comments in your juicebox and suck it bitches. Twilight will be over in a few years and in 400 years no one will remember Meyer like they remember Shakespeare. The only characters I can stand are Jacob, Seth and Leah.

Gallagher Girls
Ally Carter does a fantastic job capturing flaws in her characters and the problems of being a teenage girl. I have one complaint about the whole series though which is that her aunt is a Mary-Sue. Now I haven't made it through the whole third book but it really bothers me on how much of a Mary-Sue Cammie's Aunt is.

Stereotypes
I hate stereotypes but most of all I hate how people abuse them. I have a friend who calls herself punk and I said, 'Oh please, I'm more punk then you are. I mean... she frowns at punk music. Seriously hates it, while punk is my favourite type of music.
Also I hate how stereotypes treat girls. I am a nerd, but I am perfectly nice, and no one pays attention to the nice girls like me. They just go after those flirty bitches who will break their heart.

Quotes

"Put it in your juicebox and suck it."

"Are you kidding me? Bloody 'ell old chap I'm not that daft, I know what a hot box is."

"Barbies a fucking slut T. You have to buy her boyfriends."- My friend
Later...
"Why is Barbie so popular. you have to buy her friends."- Me

Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss you'll be among the stars.

In the world you may only be one person but to one person you mean the world.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fowl Ties by Kitsune Heart reviews
Premarital relations, elf lessons, hot tubs, dirty dancing, pure torture, relentless gossip, brutal honesty, old shame, and bedroom games. Another collection of moments between Artemis and Holly. Chapter 21: He doesn't know what to do NOW, but I'm sure he could think up something good.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 712 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S.
In Another's Eyes by Kitsune Heart reviews
Four terrifying words: "You are the father." When the last person in the LEP that ANYONE thought would ever hear those words finds himself having to face up to a new responsibility...will he rise to it or fall? And what must he lose to get what he wants?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 1067 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 12/25/2009 - Grub K., Vinyáya - Complete
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 701 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Knives Fall by Silverstardust99 reviews
The stories of the Victors are known; but what about the dead? Different deaths, different districts, different games.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 31,620 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Complete
Persephone's Crown by The Creatress reviews
Holly is stripped of her power and exiled from Haven after the Council blames her for the Artemis Fowl incident. Powerless, Holly finds herself trying to rebuild her life from inside Fowl Manor. Eventual AH. Rating may go up later for adult themes.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,823 - Reviews: 464 - Favs: 369 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Artemis Fowl and the Undercover Operative by TopazWarrior reviews
Opal is still at large, and the LEP has reason to believe someone is targeting Artemis at St Bartlebys. They send out a reluctant Holly to deal with the problem. But what she doesn't know, is that something far more sinister awaits her there. A/H & OC/OC
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 63,996 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
βГοΚεŋ by Rachelle Lo reviews
This is a cruel joke....to put Artemis Fowl in the cell next to mine.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Opal K., Artemis F. - Complete
Falling Down by Name On The Spine reviews
They twirl as they fall; who knows where they’re falling?" Rated T for character death. Opal/Opal. Flames welcome, but will be torn apart by logic.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Opal K. - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The New Manhattan by hopelily reviews
Artemis Fowl and Holly Short have always managed to set aside differences in favor of a common goal. But when wounds run too deep and the enemy is all too personal, walls will crumble and the world will never be the same. Sequel to Collsion of the Worlds
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,841 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Serendipity by The Illustrious Crackpot reviews
For the silent one of the family, Ferb certainly keeps a lot of things to himself. This story is one of them.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,461 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 18 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Complete
The Regina by The Creatress reviews
Tom Riddle is a lonely, but focussed first year who finds a mysterious diary in his trunk. It talks to him. Her name is Ginevra. As he grows closer to her, things start happening. Threats, attacks, murders... And Tom can't remember where he was last night
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,608 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 2/28/2008 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Tom R. Jr., Ginny W.
101 Reasons Why Snape is a Vampire by Moonlite Knight reviews
Presented by Messers Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Miss Hermione Granger would like to state that she did not encourage, assist, or acknowledge this list in any way, shape, or form, and sincerely hopes Snape never learns of its existence.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 54 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Artemis Fowl: Collision of the Worlds by hopelily reviews
An old antagonist is back, and he wants the lives of Holly and Artemis. As his plan unfolds, they must again join to save their worlds. But with reckless romances brewing and old ones spewing, their mistakes may have dire consequences. Orion nominated!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 82,317 - Reviews: 332 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 6/19/2007 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Drabble Underground reviews
A collection of drabbles that dive deep into the waters of the minds of various characters. Each may focus on thoughts and events that take place in each life or may be completely made up.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 462 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8/2010
Pessimism vs Optimism reviews
When Holly awakes and finds herself in Fowl Manor, an argument starts. It all starts with a little book and some adventures. No Pairing. One-Shot.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,741 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Preschool Problems reviews
One day Artemis goes to his tree house with his best friend but she has an unexpected reaction to what he said. No one ever thought Hestia could be that cruel. Pre-Artemis Fowl. Rated K. One shot
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,053 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Artemis F. - Complete