hide bio
Poll: Do you think I should carry on with my story: 'If Bella Was An Actual Werewolf? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 09-24-09, id: 2094094, Profile Updated: 07-15-10
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight.

Profile? Chyea! Cos you guys wanna hear me rant about myself! You do? Seriously? So this means I have to act normal? No? COOL!


Name: Jen
Age: 16
Birthday: 5th June (and don't you go forgetting it!)
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Hazel
Height: 5ft 4
Lives: Who are you, my STALKER?!
Hates: People who read your stories but don't review!!
Favourite Book: Oooooo my favourites are ''The Mortal Instruments Series'', ''Twilight Saga'' (Doi!), ''Harry Potter Series''(You said I didn't have to act all cool and normal!) and ''The House Of Night Series'' and - someone gags her before she keeps you reading all night
Favourite Movie: Umm I like ''Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'' and ''New Moon''. Oh, and the ''Transformers'' (yes, I know the difference between decepticons and auto-bots... and if that's weird to you, i will make sure you all die for I have Optimus Prime on my side! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!)
Twilight Obsessed?: I guess I've read the Twilight Saga more than any other series I own, so yeah, a little... FINE! I love Twilight!... just not as much as I used to... please don't kill me!
Favourite Band: Paramore! And I get to see them in concert in November!

Okay, I'm bored of talking about myself, and I'm sure you're bored of hearing it sooo...

Let's play a game!
Set your iPod/MP3 to random/shuffle, read the question and hit play! The answer to the question will be the name of the song that appears!

1) You've just ran up fifty flight flights of stairs. What do you yell?
"Rihanna - SOS" lol call an ambulance!

2) What do you think of yourself?
"The Fray - Dead Wrong" Well I am always wrong about lots of stuff...

3) What do others think of you?
"Fall Out Boy - Thanks For The Memories" Gee thanks!

4) What are you going to be when you grow up?
"Funeral For A Friend - Kicking And Screaming" no doubt about that

5) What do you think of this game?
"The Fray - Never Say Never" Well I was pretty bored so I thought I'd give it a go...

6) Do you see children in your future?
"Plain White Tees - 1234" I bloody well hope not!

7) What advice would you give to a friend?
"Jesse McCartney - Take Your Sweet Time" OMG!

8) What song wants to be your favourite?
"Ashlee Simpson - I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend" I don't really have a problem with that Ashlee

9) Which song will get stuck in your head tomorrow?
"Moulin Rouge - Lady Marmalade" Oh God save me!

10) At your funeral, what song will be playing?
"Evanescence - Hello" Okay, I know it will be sad but please don't kill yourselves.

11) What is your life going to be about?
"Rihanna - Unfaithful" Guys, you might wanna stay clear of me then

12) What sort of person are you?
"Paramore - Brick By Boring Brick" Cool!

13) Any secrets you wish to share with the group?
"Ashley Tisdale - Shadows Of The Night" Apparently not

14) Desires?
"Paramore - Misery Business" So I wanna meet a guy that's already seeing someone? Why in the world would I want that?

15) What message would you like to give to the world?
"New Found Glory - Listen To Your Friends" That is exactly what I would advise!

16) You sleep talk. What do you say?
"Evanescence - Bring Me To Life" OMG!

17) Describe your best friend?
"Aly & AJ - Like Whoa" I don't get it... I guess she is always doing crazy stuff

18) When you fall in love you will also...
"Nelly Furtado - Manos Al Aire" Break up and get back together? I feel like Ross and Rachel (From ''Friends''

19) What will you yell in an elevator stacked with people some time in your life?
"Ashley Tisdale - Crank It Up" Well I do like the music in there lol

20) Your final message?
"You Me At Six - Nasty Habits" Yeah that includes zoning out and daydreaming and humming when I probably shouldn't

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.
If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want, so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.
If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later
And if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Amatuers made The Ark, experts made the Titanic...

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!

My door is always open, so feel free to leave

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. confuses people!

Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for my ninja skills

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

Jen xx

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Order of the Lion by Fran-Marie-Cullen-1918 reviews
When Isabella's father is murdered by the Volturi, she discovers that she must take over his role of protecting the Book of the Dead. She enters a world of vampires, magic and discovers that all is not what it seems. Set in the 1880's.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,021 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Bella, Edward
Revenge is Sweeter by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
After a very public break up in the school parking lot that involves Bella showing her underwear to the whole school, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan declare war. Remaining friends with the ex? So not an option...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,935 - Reviews: 1926 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 569 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Not Enough by animal8 reviews
After BD the Cullens return to Forks and find an unexpected guest in the forest persued by a deadly enemy. The family take in their new friend, but danger still lurks. Bella is targetted when the newborn bonds with her. What will she do to protect her?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,822 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
Emmett's 16 fun things to do in an elevator! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Emmett discovers a list so magical, he beleives it was created by unicorns! He must complete this list! 16 days, 16 fun things to do in an elevator. What could go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 31,469 - Reviews: 883 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Pranking the Cullens by Fran-Marie-Cullen-1918 reviews
Me and my friend pranking the Cullens, please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,853 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/24/2010 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Edward, Bella
Forgotten - 01 by Cerdwyn reviews
What happens if Harry had a sister? If that sister was raised by his parents murderer? Was courted by his enemy? When Amy Potter enters Hogwarts, things are turned upside down, as the wizarding world try to compensate for an unexpected Potter .. (this is book one of this series!)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,325 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Draco M., OC - Complete
88 things the Twilight movie has taught us! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Twilight? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,109 - Reviews: 830 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 8/10/2009
Yo Mamma by alittlefaithinme2 reviews
During the fight in BD. Better than it sounds. A war of yo mamma jokes. Who will win?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Emmett, Demetri - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8463 - Favs: 7,674 - Follows: 1,802 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Under Attack reviews
All vampires that have recently drunk human blood have turned into killing machines, killing not only humans but everything that gets in their path. How will the Cullen's cope when every vampire in a 50 mile radius is coming to get them?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/21/2010 - Bella, Edward
Jasper's Diary reviews
Jasper keeps a diary and gets up to a lot of mischief. Lots of different situations revolving around madness.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,024 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Jasper
Funny Twilight Parodies reviews
These are what I think are funny parodies based on Twilight. Hopefully these will make you laugh. Something to read when you need to have a giggle or are bored. :D
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,279 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
If Bella Was An Actual Werewolf reviews
What if Bella was a werewolf? This story follows the plot of Stephenie's creation but the situations change as Bella is not the same ordinary human. But will relationships stay the same? Will the Cullen's still like her?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,284 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Bella
101 Ways To Annoy Alice Cullen reviews
The title is pretty self-explanatory, but this is a list I made about how to annoy Alice Cullen :D Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,444 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/14/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Alice
Twilight Scary Stories Jacob's POV reviews
Those of you that love Twilight and love Jacob Black should like this. Even if you prefer Edward to Jacob still read it. This is basically the chapter entitled "Scary Stories" in Twilight rewritten in Jacob Black's POV. Hope you enjoy it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,695 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete