Author has written 13 stories for Mario, Shaun the Sheep, Professor Layton, Luigi's Mansion, Pokémon, Wreck-It Ralph, and Super Smash Brothers.
Hey-ho, 1Thunderfire here! (Formerly Star-Gamer but I've decided to finally change my name because 1: I chose Star-Gamer back when Mario Kart DS came out for my time trial records, 2: I'm a pretty good gamer but seeing expert speed runs, complete obsession over Pokémon EVs and other nearly impossible things from other people, I'm no ultimate expert! and 3: I think of myself more as 1Thunderfire than Star-Gamer. I'm still Star-Gamer on DeviantArt though.)
I'm no artist and I'm no technological expert either so don't expect to see things like awesome video-game parodies being uploaded onto YouTube, no matter how good it appears in my imagination (though I have put together some nice playlists of awesome video game music). What I am though... is a writer.
I've been writing for some time in my life when I'm not bogged down in work. I write fan-fiction, quite obviously. Mainly Mario and Pokémon since I'm a big fan of both, and ultimately, a big fan of Nintendo. What can I say? I don't want gritty reality, I want fantasy and I relish fantasy.
Of course, I can't always be writing sadly. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty slow updater because, well, life goes on. And university has suddenly become more intense because of our shortened year, not good when you have to meet deadlines all the time! So sometimes when I do have spare time, I end up playing games instead or going out because I get sick of the computer so I hope you understand that.
Ideas don't always come straight away either. They must be tweaked and refined. And since for my lengthy stories the chapters tend to be at least 5000 words long, it can take quite some time to write. I update when I can. I admit, I'm terrible in that I cannot stick to writing one thing at once (I've 4 stories on the trot; never again!). I keep jumping back and forth. Keeps it fresh, you know? I do not promise fast updates but I do wish to offer quality fan-fiction. Especially as I'd like to be a proper author one day.
For those who do read my stuff, thank you for your supreme patience! I guess it is frustrating waiting at times (though I'm sure you have plenty of other things to see!). When I get a full-time job, I will have much more time to do this stuff than I have now. So my thanks to you all.
So that's 1Thunderfire in a T! Please feel free to browse!
P.S I'm inspired by video-game music, TV Tropes, random YouTube stuff, some excellent novels, fan speculation, the weather and more video-game music. Seriously good for the imagination, you know? Just thought I'd mention it. :D
CAN A BOO BE FRIENDS WITH A HUMAN?: A story concerning the less-famed Mario brother, Luigi and a Boo inexplicably named Booigi (who would have guessed that Boo was in it?!). Booigi has been ordered by King Boo to spy upon the Mario Brothers so that they can 'understand them' but is there more to this than meets the eye? Booigi isn't exactly the world's scariest Boo after all; he'd be quite glad to make friends actually. And though the Mario Brothers are supposed to be his enemies, he will help them when Luigi is struck by something... dark.
GARBLED CODE: A collection of one-shots concerning glitches in Mario games though I'll throw in some random stuff as I see fit; stuff that will fit in this series but would not seem right on their own. This will be updated sporadically when I get the ideas and stuff. I have non-glitch ideas in my head as well. It's great fun writing this, it definitely differs from how I might normally write stories. This is just for humour after all. And it's awesome! With special thanks to MarioWiki for the glitch ideas and random YouTube comments that help with the stories. Updated very sporadically.
VITAL SPIRIT: A Pokémon story, Oshawott/Snivy. Oshawott is amazingly cute; I just squee every time I look at him! He's definitely my favourite Pokémon! Done in collaboration with brave kid, really. So most of the ideas in this story are not my own but I'm the one writing them. Of course, I'm throwing in my own ideas every now and then. The Pokémon belonging to Ash, Iris and Cilan, as well as Trip's Servine have gone under an unusual change that they can't reveal to the humans for fear that Team Plasma will use this to their advantage, especially as it was a Plasma Experiment that caused this in the first place. Oshawott's biggest concern is though, how to declare his love for Snivy? It's difficult to do so when you have a Servine tormenting you every time they meet and an Emolga who will do anything just to get back at Snivy.
POKÉ KNIGHT SAGA: A Pokémon story involving an abused Oshawott. This is not set in the animé nor the video game world but it's a pretty original story (though I have recently been getting tips and inspirational music from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness, which I bought a few months ago). There are no humans; they all vanished a long time ago under mysterious and dark circumstances. There is an Oshawott who has his power locked to benefit his adopted parents and unless it can be unlocked again, he cannot reach his full potential. Even so, he's far stronger than any Pokémon has a right to be. And he has the chance to become a Level Knight and meet the Snivy Princess... My first foray into M-Rated fiction. I will not upload this until I actually fully complete this so it is a long way off but it's better if I do it like this otherwise I'll just be thinking "ARRGH! IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS SINCE I LAST UPDATED OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" There is also a Zubat. Zubats are cool. I have a soft spot for their evolutionary line.
MORE THAN A SIDEKICK: A Darkwing Duck one-shot. Seriously awesome cartoon series; a lot of the good stuff was in the 90s it seems along with Animaniacs, DuckTales, Taz-Mania and so forth. Anyway, Darkwing Duck and his sidekick Launchpad McQuack have finally found the top-secret base of F.O.W.L thanks to a blunder by Steelbeak. It's time for the Masked Mallard's finest hour! Or... is it?
Awesome Quotes from Awesome Things:
'We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index,' he said. 'Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects.'
It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself.
The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. (The Light Fantastic)
It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done. A person ignorant of the possibility of failure can be a halfbrick in the path of the bicycle of history. (Equal Rites)
'And he goes around killing people?' said Mort. He shook his head. 'There's no justice.'
He saw his life stretching out in front of him like a nasty black tunnel with no light at the end of it.
Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure in any case. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed. (Sourcery)
The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap, and much more difficult to find... (Sourcery)
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "What is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?"
"'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself." Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her. (Wyrd Sisters)
The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins.* Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something. (Pyramids)
Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid. (Pyramids)
A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it. (Guards! Guards!)
'They never give him any of the things a sensitive growing wossname really needs, if you was to ask me.'
'Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.' (Eric)
No-one with their sleeves rolled up who walks purposefully with a piece of paper held conspicuously in their hand is ever challenged. (Moving Pictures)
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. (Reaper Man)
'It can't be intelligent, can it?' said the Bursar.
Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II in the lexicon of squabble. (Witches Abroad)
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because — what with trolls and dwarfs and so on — speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green. (Witches Abroad)
Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum.
The shortest unit of 'time' in the multiverse is the New York second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking. (Lords and Ladies)
He could think in italics. Such people need watching.
'Dwarfs and trolls get along like a house on fire ... Ever been in a burning house, miss?' (Men at Arms)
Some peasants who wanted to stop being peasants revolted. And since the nobles won they stopped being peasants really quickly. (Soul Music)
Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, 'What happens if I do this?' (Interesting Times)
The person on the other side was a young woman. Very obviously a young woman. There was no possible way that she could have been mistaken for a young man in any language, especially Braille. (Maskerade)
It is the fate of all banisters worth sliding down that there is something nasty waiting at the far end. (Maskerade)
I AM DEATH NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE. (Feet of Clay)
There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell. (Feet of Clay)
IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather.
'So Hex here has caught daftness off the Bursar,' said Ridcully. 'Simple. Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.' (Hogfather)
The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it. (Jingo)
People's whole lives do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called 'living' (The Last Continent)
They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past. (The Last Continent)
'Will it be enough to know that the world is your oyster?'
'Can you think of any reason why someone would kill him?'
The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. There's a fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise. (The Truth)
Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions. (The Truth)
Igor had to admit it. When it came to getting weird things done, sane beat mad hands down. (Thief of Time)
A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate. This discovery is from the same branch of culinary physics that determined that food eaten while walking along contains no calories. (Thief of Time)
Rincewind stared at the badge. He'd never had one before. Well, that was technically a lie ... he'd had one that said 'Hello, I Am 5 Today!', which was just about the worst possible present to get when you are six. (The Last Hero)
It occurred to him that when you'd had everything, all that was left was nothing. (The Last Hero)
One day, when he was naughty, Mr Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred's field and it was full of green lettuces. Mr Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair. (The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents)
THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE. (Night Watch)
This time it had been been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done. (The Wee Free Men)
And the new day was a great big fish. (Monstrous Regiment)
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman. (Monstrous Regiment)
'Mistress Weatherwax is the head witch, then, is she?'
What sort of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter. (Going Postal)
"You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic!" (Thud!)
"There be a lot o' men who became heroes cuz they wuz too scared tae run!" (Wintersmith)
'The box exists in ten or possibly eleven dimensions. Practically anything may be possible.'
"If you are smoking, thank you for being beaten about the head!" (Making Money)
"[...] But if I was to suggest so much as an egg and spoon race these days [the Wizards]'d use the spoon to eat the egg." (Unseen Academicals)
"Not all sins are forgiven." (Snuff)
"When I'm old, I shall wear midnight. But not today." (I Shall Wear Midnight)
Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga Quotes:
"...How much is a chance?"
"I... don't tell no one big secret of stone wall in southeast region of island. No one. No. How offering up the fire and the brimstone to the hole in the wall makes things happen... ...I don't never tell nobody that! No way! No how! No!" - Oho Jee
"Eh? Mr. Mario isn't with you? What?!? You say he's standing right before my eyes? Um... Luigi? Did someone thump you on the head?" - Little Fungitown Toad
"Oh, why must THEY be here? Why can't we be alone, darling, speaking the language of love?" - Birdo
"ACK! BEHIND YOU! A HUMONGOUS COCKROACH!"
"You've done well to make it here! I should have expected as much from the superstars of the Mushroom Kingdom! Unfortunately for you, those who desire to disrupt my plans have very short futures! After conquering the Beanbean Kingdom, I intend to make the Mushroom Kingdom mine as well! My new country has no need for old superstars! It will done just fine with only one: the Great Bowletta!!!"
"You reap the beans you sow, fools! Now meet your doom!" - Bowletta
"Attacking me when my back is turned, huh? Well, that's typical! C'mere Super Coward Bros!!!"
"Bwa ha ha ha! Yes! Go capture that fiend and get back Peach's voice! And then I can kidnap her!"
"You! You're the fiend who stole Peach's voice! How dare you pull off such a cool evil plan?" - Bowser
"I HAVE FURY!"
"You! You are the fink-rats that came with the Bowser that I hate!"
"I am the great Cackletta's most best pupil, who is named Fawful! I am here, laughing at you! If you are giving us the chase, just to get your silly princess's voice, then you are idiots of foolishness! Princess Peach's sweet voice will soon be the bread that makes the sandwich of Cackletta's desires! And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!"
"Hah! Now taste the finale, when carelessness opens the door to a comeback not expected by you! Your lives that I spit on are now but a caricature of a cartoon drawn by a kid who is stupid! You shall all fall and vanish with your precious Beanbean Kingdom as I laugh heartily at you!"
"In the last moments of the finale of the finale, when relief leads to negligence that begets rashness... That is when the comeback that faltered comes back and beats your pathetic comeback that I scoff at!" - Fawful
"It's just like I always say: if you see that moustache and that jump, it's Mario!" - a Toad
Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time:
"Who raised ya, Chain Chomps?"
"Nothing quite like good cookies and evil milk!" - Baby Bowser
"Whoa! You hairy jerks again! Chased me all the way to this stupid island, have you?"
"Hey, what's your beef, pal? I'm not tasty enough for you?! I'm prime Koopa, you snob!" - Kamek
"No need to worry yourself. My machine's as safe as can be. Why, there's a 99.999999999% chance the princess will return!" - Professor E. Gadd
"I haven't been this jazzed in a Blaarg's age!" - Kylie Koopa
"U=NOOBS. BROZ.=L33T. PREPARE FOR TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!"
"AREA RESTRICTED. ALL NOOB INTRUDERS 2 B HAXORED BY US L33T HAMM3R BROZ.!"
"NOOBZ STILL R NOT PWNED. CONTINUE PWNERSHIP UNTIL ALL NOOBZ R PWNED" - L33T Hammer Broz
"You are true and courageous. Your heart is filled with virtue and concern for your brother. I do recommend you watch your diet, however it is also filled with much Alfredo sauce. You should especially cut down on carbonara, though it will be hard, for that is very tasty. If you curb your appetite, do some light cardio work and continue to ward your brother, you will no doubt grow to be a figure of immense popularity, yet not grow an immense belly. You may pass and I do recommend puttanesca; that stuff is great." - Star Gate
"Those brothers of badness! My brain aches at their overalls! I have fury AND headache now!"
"Stupid moustaches! Hairs like the dirty tail of a horse in a barn built by a farmer who is crazy!" - Fawful
"Keep your trousers on, older me! That's MY blood pressure you're raising. Seriously, if I wanted to see myself embarrass myself, I'd belch in front of a mirror."
"It's not like she's in another castle or anything." - Toadsworth the Younger
"BACK TO ADVENTURE!" - Stuffwell
Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story:
"I HAVE VICTORY! Easy as bread sandwiches! And now for the proceeding with the plan I have planned!"
"You have energy like a little angry battery with no friends."
"Fawfully-do! Where are you? Dark Star, needing you! Dark power, yoo-hoo! WHERE TO FIND YOU..."
"A WINNER IS YOU!" - Fawful
"You! You will submit to zee power of zis magnificent block, and you will do so NOW!" - Broque Monsieur
"Did somebody page the king of awesome?"
"MAAARIO! Are you seriously trying to start with me again?! I hear about this big meeting, and I'm all ready to act nice... But man, the second I see your face, Mr. Nice Bowser is GONE. Yeah, forget your dumb meeting! I'll pummel you and grab Peach!"
"NOT TODAY! THIS KINGDOM IS MINE! SO YOU VANISH!" - Bowser
"Soon this kingdom will vanish along with all who dwell within. And you, too, will sleep eternally in the dark power's embrace!" - Dark Bowser
"Now it is time! Now we will fight! The you will lose! And you will cry!"
"WHAT!? No one pressed 'dance'! You are broken!" - Midbus
"WHAT ARE YOU?! Do you have a KO wish?"
"HELLO YELLO!" - Starlow
Mario and Luigi: Dream Team Bros Quotes:
"TAKE ME WITH YOU!"
"Big bro... it's your choice..."
"Luigi... will follow you... We're all here for you, bro. Always." - Luigi
"Give it to me straight. Princess Peach is gone? Hello? That is MY thing! Only I get to kidnap her! TREASON!"
"But I don't have time to deal with you now. See, kidnapping Princess Peach is my calling in life! I don't care what you did; I'll find her and nab her!" - Bowser
"Actually... Yeah, you know, this frilly pink thing is pretty darn cute, I must say. I mean, those blue robes are so DRAB. Sometimes I open the closet and just gag." - Kamek
"The fresh sweet taste and lovely scent of the water courses through Mario's and Luigi's bodies, plunging them into a deep sleep."
"In time, a pleasant smell wafts into their noses and pulls them from their deep slumber."
"Lured by the wonderful scent, Mario and Luigi press forward. Their bodies feel oddly light. Their legs flex into the earth. Their moustaches flutter like gossamer in the mountain breeze. The smell grows stronger. They travel for great leagues... Or do they barely travel at all? Soon they find the smell's source."
"They find endless mushrooms. An unimaginable mound of mushrooms. MUSHROOMS! Mario jumps into the mushroom pile... Luigi leaps into the mushroom pile... They chew and inhale mushrooms... They devour as many as they can, their banquet interrupted by no one."
"They know not how much they ate. A white cloud appears beside Mario. His gloves caress the atmosphere. His soaking boots absorb the sea. Hills shrink... No! The bros are huge! They have grown as big as the island! Thousands of times bigger than life! A finger flick could smash Bowser! There is nothing for them to fear. In this moment, they are ecstatic."
"Soon after that, they realise they cannot go back to normal..." - Narrator
Paper Mario Quotes:
"Nothing makes me happier than a smile from you, Peach."
"Oh, Princess Peach! Your cuddly old Bowser's here!"
"Mario always defeats me... This time I became invincible and I STILL couldn't beat him!" - Bowser
"So, you came, did you? I'm General Guy. We're following the orders of King Bowser by guarding a Star Spirit. As long as we keep it secure, we have permssion to do whatever we want. You hear?! I don't care for you, sir. You are rude, and furthermore, you are trespassing in here. Our Toy Box is off-limits to the likes of you! The treasures inside this box are for Shy Guys only! And that Star Spirit's fate is none of your business! Prepare to fight me, sir! TASTE DEFEAT! CHARGE!!" - General Guy
"Congratulations on your victory, Your Viciousness! That's why you're king!" - Kammy Koopa
"Old man, you are simply the cat's meow!"
"Oh, what poppycock! Balderdash! Don't be daft, dear boy! It would be terribly impolite to turn down such an invitation! It would ruin the party if the hero of Koopa Village, nay, the Mushroom Kingdom weren't there! Go to that party this instant and don't spare me another thought!" - Kolarado
"I swear on my own grave! Mario's innocent!" - Lady Bow
"I see. Great, just great. You're on an exciting adventure with Mario. Talk about unfair. See, someone has to look after this house so I can't leave. Oh, well. Take care of Mario, OK?"
"Princess Peach, still stuck up there in the sky... C'mon, Mario! You're a hero, bro! You have to go up there and rescue her!" - Luigi
"Hm! You have great hidden strength for one clothed like a plumber!"
"Kuwaaaa! Behold my hidden fury, Mario!!" - The Master
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Quotes:
"Oh, and one more thing... Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?"- Red Cleft
”Alright, my sort–of–lovelies! Marilyn! Freak–Sheet! This time, we take out Mario and his goon–squad for good!" - Beldam
"Squirm and suffer like socially awkward worms!" - Black Chest Demon
"It's hag vs hag! Awesome!"
”Great, just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty King of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!“
"CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?”
"Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!"
“I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!” - Bowser
"Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nobody challenge the great Super Mario?!?"
“You got it now, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now!” - Doopliss
"Hey, what's your beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
“Oh, it's, like, SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!” - Goombella
“CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?” - Gus
"Two tickets! One great and evil king, and one sweet, young thing!"
“Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my mama gave me!” - Kammy Koopa
”I was one hot sacrifice, Bro.“ - Luigi
"One of us is walking out of here with the belt, and the other one's getting RAWKED!” - Rawk Hawk
"One day, you'll look back on all them small dreamers n' LAUGH!" - Grubba
"Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand back to our fortress!" - Lord Crump
"It would be in your best interest to be completely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops I assure you. We can be quite nasty."
"Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!" - Grodus
"You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No-one commands me."
"You are foolish to oppose me. Yesss... and that foolishness... will have to be punished..." - Shadow Queen
Super Paper Mario Quotes:
"Who is this meagre moustache, and how does it have the audacity to address my multi-coloured glory?"
"You must be the great hero... IMPERSONATOR!" - Bestovius
"But... But I'm Bowser! I'm grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I'm going to take over the world any day now! No way am I helping Mario! He's always trashing my awesome plans."
"Who are you supposed to be, Mr. Frilly Pants? You gonna tie me a balloon animal?" - Bowser
"Your princess has been taken... by Count Bleck!... By me... Count Bleck! The chosen executer of the Dark Prognosticus... is Count Bleck! The fine fellow prophesied to come to this dimension... is also Count Bleck!" - Count Bleck
"I am Count Bleck's master of dimensions, the pleaser of crowds... I am...Dimentio!"
"At last, the hero... I know of you from the festival of hair that dances upon your lip!"
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. I have you now! Luigi! We will both taste the agony of game-overing...by magic!"
"How did you do it... How could I have lost with the power of Luigi and the Chaos Heart? And the prophecy... Has it been undone?!" - Dimentio
"Here's a little business tip from a pro: try not to carry YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE." - Flimm
"THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL 1. DETONATION IMMINENT. BEEBLEBLIP! C:/ run query identification C:/ run insult generator C:/ results: go away yeti-lip! CTRL ALT DEL!" - Fracktail
"Freel the wrath of the jilted X-Naut from the season finale of "The Grodus Chronicles!" - Francis
"Hey, Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemustache! I'll foil your FACE!"
"Just because you're in red doesn't mean you're strong. Have at you!"
"Not a funny joke, Dimentio... If I wanted to laugh, your face is inspiration enough!" - Mr. L
"JUNIOR?! C'mere un' I'll introduce yeh to Fist Jr. an' his wee pal, Slappie!"
"Warrior rule # 1: 'Never fight on an empty stomach! 'Tis Madness!" - O'Chunks