Author has written 2 stories for iCarly.
HELLO! I write for alot of topics. if you want me to write one, tell me.
The Usual Stuff.
I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someones ass
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREE HUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet
My name is May
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is May
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
If you care at all about this poor child, paste it onto your profile, before it's too late...
1) Junior Prom With Carly Shay: Carly and Freddie go to a dance together. (complete!)
2)She is gone forever: Sam's mom is dead and Spencer is missing
3) Polka Dot Umbrella: (not yet published.or completed) Freddie and Carly get caught in the rain as
4) (not yet complete) Freddie, I'm scared. : Sam and Freddie are kidnapped on their way home from school. (
funny quotes of Friends
Nicole: thanks for the gum Alexis
Nikki: hi caley
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