At what point did reviews here only become about giving praise and not about giving constructive criticism or pointing out a possible error/issue within one's story in order to help them improve as a writer?
If you're reading this you're probably trying to see if this is a troll account, just someone trying to cause trouble or just simply what I'm about. I am neither troll nor a trouble maker despite what some authors say or how you may feel as you race here ready to send me that message putting me in my place. I am also not out to "ruin things for everyone" despite the feelings of some of the less than polite reviewers.
What I am is an avid reader and sometimes writer (don't bother asking who I really am, I'll never tell but yes - I've written and posted stories) on this site. The reason I set up this account is to protect those stories that I have written from the vengeful authors (and mostly their fans who all act like spoiled entitled 12 year olds) who want to get back at me for leaving the below note by attacking my own work needlessly. I've seen it happen to others and I don't want nor need that.
I'm sure you've seen me posting the following in many stories in the past:
Entries not allowed:
Your story is not allowed under section _ of the guidelines.
and always followed by a message of a suggestion on how to possible fix it.
So now you're asking "why are you doing this?" My goal is mainly to help authors realize that they may have unwittingly broken a rule here, and most fit in this category. I also know what it's like to have a story removed by the admins of the site and don't really wish that on anyone else. This is usually done without notice or a reason given - your story is there one day and then the next day it's gone. Therefore I hope my note can serve as a bit of a early warning and give those writers a chance to fix/adjust their work so that if/when an admin looks at their story they can see that it's fine and leave it be.
Now that you know the story hopefully you can see that I'm not made of "pure evil" or a "cyberbully" as some have described or labeled me as being.
Don't be too surprised if you PM me and you don't get a response. Chances are you and your fans are looking at this with the intention on coming after me for "daring to flame XXX writers story!" so anything you write like that will be just laughed at and deleted though if I do get entertained I may write back just to see how annoyed you'll really get.
But, and this is a big BUT, if you really come across as thoughtful and really are open to discussing your work then there is a good chance I will reply and even try to help you with your work. Many of the people I have seen are in fact good writers that probably don't realize what the rules are here and if I can help even one of them then I feel that "MrGoodyTwoShoes" has served his purpose.
A few things (based off the messages I do get) to keep in mind before you message me to save us all the time and effort:
1. I do not suffer fools lightly. Don't try and be a smart ass with your PM's. Don't play dumb or act like a idiot because you think it's funny. Don't try and act like a know-it-all in your pm to me either. I have to deal with this nonsense at my actual day job and have little tolerance for it. I can also tell the difference between the actual person not knowing and someone who is trying to cover their tracks thanks to the training for my day job.
2. Don't complain to me about the rules or try to ask me why they exist. If you don't like them then you should take it up with the admins of the site. I am merely a messenger. If/when the rules change then so shall I.
3. Don't make excuses such as "I'm young and want to have fun" or "I've seen others doing this" in your messages. Sorry but that doesn't fly (would you get away with that with your teachers? parents?) given that the rules are here for a reason. To me this is just someone trying to escape the responsibility of their actions. It should be noted this is usually the excuse someone gives when they message me so by now if it hasn't swayed me I doubt your use of the same reasoning will do the same.
4. No, A pm rather than a review won't work so stop trying to tell me to do such. Most authors either ignored what I said or were very hostile. Besides, this place is full of "monkey see, monkey do" types so if my note on one story can help more before they write similar then it all works.
5. Please take the time read my full review before you PM me. That means not only the rules but the part that says what rules your story broke and the part that says how to fix it. That means the actual full review and not just the part you see in your email. My reviews are in plain English and never misleading or overly complicated. I have little to no patience for people who can't be bothered in reading my reviews fully before sending messages demanding to be told "how can I fix it smart guy?" when I've already told you such.
6. "Your account has no stories so you shouldn't review" is something that makes no sense yet is something I get a lot. As I've said before, I have written stories here on my regular account. Besides, I think I'm still allowed to have a say/opinion/view even if I happen to not be a writer. Do people tell Roger Ebert he can't review movies because he's never been in one or directed one?
6a. "If u don't like then u shouldn't read!" makes absolutely no sense either. It's not about liking a story even if I'm saying "here's your problem and here's how to fix it". Besides, how could one discover if they like something or not if they don't read it?
7. Keep in mind I only leave my note on the stories/works when I see them. I do get private messages from time to time about stories that need my "attention" but mostly I only deal with stuff that I see at the time. Don't complain or whine about why I waited till XX chapter to do it. I'm not out to screw you or anyone else over. If I see your story and if my note/review is needed then I'll leave it. Simple as that.
8. "u r a bully" is a recent addition to the usual list of replies. I'm really confused by it since how can it be bullying if you're trying to help the person? I can see it if I threatened them in my review but since I don't this doesn't make any sense so stop wasting your time in using the buzzword because you think it will let you get away with it. Besides, are you just not trying to ignore the fact you are in violation of one or a few of the rules on this site by doing that?
9. You're welcome to try and convince me to change my mind about all of this though I will tell you now - it won't do you much good so you really shouldn't bother. I'm in this for the long haul so I won't be going anywhere for a while.
Scratch that, I'm going back to reporting but only in cases where the author either refuses to listen or just plainly ignores and goes on in their bliss. At that point, it's between you and the admins. No point in being nice any more.
11. If you're going to take the time and ask me a question, please be kind not to block me if you're looking for a reply especially if you keep harassing me to answer the question you sent in the first place.
12. Do check your spelling and grammar before you try to lecture me or at least insult me. If you can't be bothered in doing that much then you're just making yourself look even more foolish if your intention is to get under my skin. This does include the use of net/text speak/spelling.
13. If you're going to try and insult or threaten me or even give me a death threat - at least be original and/or creative about it. Just calling me names or cursing at me isn't going to do it and I'll just end up annoying you more by turning it around on you. Trust me, I'll be more amused by watching how you become more annoyed instead of the other way around.
14. Reviews are not only meant for praise or encouragement despite what you've been told by others. There is nothing wrong or against the rules in what I do or how I review so please don't complain about my reviews not fluffing your ego or showering you with flowers and donuts. I do not curse, insult, threaten, bully, blackmail or intimidate like many others do these days. My reviews always offer a suggestion on how to fix/adjust your writing to fit within the rules. That is far far more help than "updat sooz" can ever give you as well as the threat of "Fix or else" that some like to use.
15. It's not personal. No matter what you've been told, heard or read by others including your fanfiction "pals" etc. I have nothing against you specifically nor am I out to get you, "pick on you" or anything like that. If I'm leaving a review on your story along with making a suggestion then I must have a reason and most likely my review will state such. Take it as that I see something worthwhile within the work you've posted and something worth saving instead of just attacking you because "i hate you".
and there you go - hopefully you'll have a better understanding of me after reading this profile and maybe I've answered a question or two for you at the same time.
I always use my account for reviews which means I always log/sign in to do it. If you ever receive an anonymous review claiming to be me (or a copycat account by a different name masquerading as me) then you've been had and it's just a sad little person with nothing better to do with their pathetic life other than impersonating me. Remember, I do not curse or insult a writer in my reviews - my reviews are always impersonal by design and will always be as such unless I am requested for a direct opinion.
If you really don't like what I have to say then you can either PM me or look me up on Critics United.