Updates Oct 8, 2013
Hello to anyone viewing my profile!
Im a guy, 22 years old, names Charlie
I live in New york, and just finished attending a small liberal arts college in MA. I graduated within the awesome major that is psychology! (Read: useless, as i will not be attending graduate school) Either way, the material was interesting and a challenge. And while it is not a passion of mine... I had no interest in ending up as a barista in Starbucks. Yes, that was directed towards English majors. Yes, that was a joke. Please keep reading.
Think of this page...as more of an archive. Until i write some fics... if i do get around to doing that... this will just be a good place to store some stories that impressed me. I wont add a fic unless its really damn impressive...and this includes originality and writing style and punctuation, grammar, spelling ect. ALSO NOTE: I am talking about long fics, usually 100k words but maybe some 60-80k fics. I will occasionally make exceptions if the idea was good enough, but usually not. However, I have read some damned impressive one-shots that i will try and find and add. It is even harder to find the amazing one's as there are plenty of good ones, and even more mediocre and awful ones.
Some Note about Fics in my Favorite List:
First of all, I am straight, and as such do not enjoy reading stories that depict the main characters being gay. While i do not give a shit about cannon in fanfic writing, and while i do not have anything against gay people (roomed with a gay guy in college for a year, and he became one of my best friends), i just cannot read those stories and enjoy them in any way shape or form. The only fics i will have on my Favorite list will be stories where the main characters are straight.
Things I have noticed within the HP verse
OK GUYS, THIS IS LONG. AND BY LONG, I MEAN LONG...BUT it's worth reading. I have put together some really interesting things in the sections below, and combined with my opinions, it should make for a very interesting, very worthwhile read. NOW, I get kind of agitated in some (read: most) of these posts. However, I make some very good points. Now, if you are a Harry Potter fanfiction author, you may have written a story using one or more of the things I point out that are, to use a polite term, ridiculous. If you take offense, good. It will get you brooding, which is thinking, which will inevitably lead to you realizing that these points are correct, which will lead to you writing better stories.
I have included a "Summary" at the bottom, and the bold letters in brackets correlate to the summary. I have also highlighted in BOLD what I feel are the main points. There is still important stuff that hasn't been highlighted, because really, I didn't want to make the entire page bold.
- Hitwizard vs. Auror. First and foremost. Auror's are the equivalent of the FBI, while the Unspeakables are the CIA. HITWIZARDS ARE NOT LAW ENFORCEMENT! Hitwizard. Hitman. Say it with me. Hitwizard. Hitman. With me so far? A Hitwizad is a contract killer who is also a wizard. They are NOT the lower version of the Aurors. They are NOT the "police" to the Auror's "FBI". They. Are. Contract. Killers. Guns for hire. They are the best of the best, or they are dead when the auror's catch them. How no one besides Jbern (the best author on the site for the HP verse) has put this together is driving me mental. (A)
- Remus Lupin. Maybe this is quite obvious, but does no one else find it quite odd that Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and that NO ONE, not in the books, not in fanfiction, comments on his name? I mean, sure, lupin is latin for wolf, that is quite obvious, but Remus is obvious a reference to Romulus and Remus, the two twins raised by wolves in Roman mythology, who each build cities before going to war with each other. Just something I would have thought more people would have picked up on. To top that off, Remus Lupin was infected by Fenrir Greyback, Fenrir referencing the old Norse wolf monster, and... well, Greyback references a grey wolf, I dunno. Either way, after reading well over fifty HP stories on this cite, all over 100k words, not once have I seen any jokes made about Lupins name. Just a bit surprised. Oh, and Lupin's father must have thought himself hilarious to name his son Remus. Guess who's laughing now? Not Remus, he's dead. (B)
- Another thing that really bothers me are the ages the professors, and parents were depicted being in the films. In the books, it's all but stated that wizards have a longer lifespan than non magicals. The only plausible way for this to happen would be if they age slower due to their cells aging slower, as people die when their cells stop functioning. If this were the case, then they would all LOOK younger as well. A thirty five Snape, Lupin, and Serius in the films look like they are fifty years old. They should look twenty. Ok, Ok. Snape has stress lines from being a spy, Lupin from being a werewolf, and Serius from prison. They still shouldn't look a day older than thirty five. Harry's parents should look like they are twenty two, as they died when they were twenty one or two. When he see's them via the connection to Voldemort's wand in movie four, they look like they are fifty. McGonagall is roughly seventy, so is Tom Riddle. Both should look like they are at most forty. Dumbledore looks was one hundred and ten years old. Looking seventy five-eighty seems reasonable. However, he was considered to be the most powerful wizard in his generation, and I think that he should have looked a bit younger. Narcissa Malfoy looked like a sixty year old woman with a lot of botox treatment, she was fourty five years old in book one, and as a pureblood with a ton of money and a stress free life, should have looked twenty five, thirty at the most. I just don't understand why they chose to use old actors, doesn't make much sense to me. (C)
- Money Value in the HP verse. Ok, so, this REALLY REALLY annoys me. Gold coins the world over are made to weigh one ounce. The American Gold Eagle coin closed today at just under $1,400. The South African Krugerrand closed at the same price of $1,394.09. The Canadian Maple Leaf closed at ten dollars less. Six months ago, the coins were worth roughly $1,650-$1,700 dollars. The point is, gold fluctuates. Now, lets go to the HP verse. Would goblins, master metal crafter and enchanter' make gold coins that were not pure? In a society where being a prominent pure blood means everything? Hell no. As such, the "cannon" exchange rate of $5 pounds is absurd. If that were the case, one would just buy as many Galleons as possible, melt them down, sell the gold, rinse and repeat and legally bring down the bank in a week. So, when someone says Harry or the Black family has sixty million Galleons in their vault? Well, thats absurd. That would be almost $90 BILLION U.S. Dollars. And I have seen higher amounts put down. Second thing then, is that as we are told Harry's vault has a MOUNTAIN of Galleons in it, (and the movie shows a very nice amount), Harry is already a millionaire, probably worth more than 500 Million. Probably more. The whole "its just a trust vault" thing? Obviously not cannon, and obviously not needed. Just add that his parents left some odds and ends in the same vault and be done with it. You might say, well hmm, this brings up the problem that ONE Galleon is worth SEVENTEEN Sickles. And obviously, Seventeen Pure Silver Coins (worth roughly ONE U.S. Dollar each) does not equal a Galleon. It's absurd. And on top of that, TWENTY NINE Pure Copper coins does not equal a Sickle. The United States prints pennies for more than one cent each, i'm not sure of the total value, but twenty nine pennies does not equal a silver dollar. Seventeen silver dollars do not equal $1,400 dollars. So, in the end, the problem is that JK Rowling has created an absolutely absurd monetary system that does not work. As such, MOST people decide to reduce the value of the Galleon to five dollars, or so. As we have just discussed, I will take ALL your sickles for ALL my Galleons at that point. Thank you sir. What I think makes more sense is to add to your story that while Gold is Gold in both the magical and non magical worlds, the Goblins have found a special type of "True Silver" and "True Copper" or some other such bullshit. Make the Galleon divide CORRECTLY into 17 sickles, (or hell, make it twenty), at $50-70 dollars a coin, and then the Knuts can be worth $2-4 dollars each. (D)
-Further absurdities with the money issue. Point of fact ONE: Ron Weasley was really REALLY impressed with the fact Harry had a Galleon on him in the Hogwarts Express. While yes, he was from a somewhat poor (compared to the other pureblood's) family, and an eleven year old to boot, Ron definitely made it out to be a Big Deal. Capital B and D. Point of fact TWO: Wands only cost SEVEN... read it again, SEVEN Galleons. Now hold on a bit. Arthur Weasley was the HEAD of a department in the Ministry of Magic. Not a really important department, but still the head. As such, it would be EXPECTED that he had a SALERY, not a WAGE. Now, I KNOW he has seven kids. But TWO are out of Hogwarts with their own jobs. And as they are not paying monthlies for their house, land, water, heating, whatever the fuck else, all he has to do is pay for food, school supplies, other supplies that he needs for home living, and excess. Unless Hogwarts is charging an ungodly amount per year for tuition, Mr. Weasley should EASILY be able to pay for a new wand for Ron, and new clothes for all of his family if a Galleon is only five dollars. A wand costs seven Galleons. Not being able to pay thirty five dollars for a wand that will hopefully never be replaced is stupid, especially with the Weasley's situation. If, on the other hand, the wand costs several THOUSAND dollars (which as a ONE TIME INVESTMENT for the rest of your life (read over one hundred years) it SHOULD), then I can understand the problem. Which brings us to point of fact THREE: The Weasley's are clearly portrayed as much poorer than they really should be. I understand that they don't have Old Money. Fine. Mr. Weasley still has (what should be) a well paying job. He doesn't have taxes to pay. All his appliance and house maintenance is free via magic. I feel as if JK Rowling just portrayed them as poorer than they should be to A) relate to Harry (read: plot device), B) fuel Ron's jealousy issues (read: plot device), and C) because she wasn't really thinking (read: everyone makes mistakes, but... plot device). (E)
- Next thing to talk about is... GOBLINS! Ok, people, I know a select few of you understand this, but most do NOT so here we go. Harry Potter... wait for it... is NOT the first person to be polite to a Goblin, in the books, or in fanfiction. The Goblin Nation is NOT going to bend down, on hands and knees, and suck up to him just because he treated them like people. It's absurd. Muggle born's have been going to Hogwarts since it's creation in 1000 something A.D. I refuse, REFUSE, to believe that Harry Potter was the FIRST person to EVER be polite to a Goblin. No. Point TWO on the Goblin issue. Goblin wars. Ok, so, SOMETHING fishy is going on here. WHY would Wizards, having bad relation's with Goblins due to wars, ALLOW the Goblin's to be in charge of their finances. Answer? Because JK Rowling wasn't thinking and thought Goblin's running a bank would be cool. Realistically? Because the Wizards lost the war's and the Goblins wanted control of the finances in order for there to be peace, and in order to stop any further wars from happening. One might say.. HEY! This is a good reason why no one besides Harry has been polite to a Goblin! Nope. Justin Finch-Fletchly's parents are very wealthy non magical businessmen. Harry clearly was late to Diagon Alley, and even if, hypothetically, Harry could have been the first, Justin and his family would have been there before him since Harry got his letter weeks late. And obviously Justin's family would have been polite. And FURTHERMORE would have impressed the Goblins with their business savvy, and wealth. Possibly. Either Way, it's a dumb concept. Will I concede that some of the pureblood supremacists are rude to the goblins? Yes. Behind their backs. They arn't dumb, and wouldn't insult the person managing their money to their faces. Obviously. (F)
- Voldemort and his crew. Ok so, I hate it when people write a passive Voldemort. It's boring. Having Harry spend the entire story training, and then having him fight the death eaters, and finally a confrontation with Voldemort who has done nothing worthwhile up to that point is boring. Doesn't matter what superpower/special magic skill/1000 different animagus ability you throw in. It's boring. You want the perfect Voldemort? Read "To Fight The Coming Darkness" by Jbern. He is, without a doubt, the best Harry Potter fanfiction writer on this site. You don't agree? You will when you read his stories. The idea's he comes up with are all original, well executed, and well written. Fight scenes are uncluttered and flow well. Characters progress perfectly. Character bashing? No. Waste of writing potential. Plug over, back to the discussion. This is kind of personal preference, and I know JK didn't portray Voldemort as such, but I dislike thinking of him as a maniac. I think Voldemort's original goal was to be a revolutionary. I know he was a half-blood, and that the books say he was insane and cruel, etc. But it is much more fun and thought provoking to read him as someone working towards a goal he believes in fully. Cruel, sadistic, insane looser vs. motivated, well spoken, powerful, no nonsense. Obviously the first one is more stereotypical bad guy, and the second one makes for a better read. As far as his Death Eater's go, we don't have much information. We have maybe twenty five ish confirmed names. Powerful wizards and witches both magically and politically. I don't think Voldemort would have gained many followers from being batshit insane, torturing his followers whenever they fucked up. Well, again, it really depends on how you think of the Death Eaters. I prefer both sides fighting for what they believe in, with the realization that both sides are people with flaws. The Stereotypical bad guys vs Stereotypical good guys can be fun to read, and even done well, but I think realism makes for a better story. I can't really give more than an opinion on this, unlike my other HP verse problems, but that is my preference. (G)
- Character Bashing. Character Bashing is one thing and one thing only. At best it gives cheap laughs, at worse it's a waste of time to read. The one thing it is, in either way, is a way to cover up a lack of plot, a lack of being able to develop characters well, a lack of maturity in your writing, and a cheap way to make the main character look better. It's funny the first time. It gets boring fast. You don't like Ron Weasley? Great, neither do I. So, if YOU don't like him, and I don't like him, WHY do you need to bring him into every other scene just to make him look like an idiot? Instead, develop your other characters that are actually relevant to the plot, and actually work on improving your writing. I've noticed that the characters that get "bashed" the most are easily Ron, Ginny, Dumbledore and Snape. Sometimes McGonagall, Hermione and Flitwick. I just don't get it. They all have character flaws. Instead of breaking them MORE by bashing them, fix them like you fixed the main character's you are writing about. Or don't. Just write them out. For Ron and Ginny, if you don't like them (I don't), write them out. They are minor character's in most fics, don't waste time with them, just deal with them and move on. For Dumbledore and Snape... this is gonna take a bit. I understand that JK made Dumbledore do a lot of dumb stuff from one point of view, but on the other hand he is such a badass character to work with that I just don't understand why people DON'T use him. Evil Dumbledore is boring. Useless Dumbledore is worse. Why did he leave Harry on the doorstep November 1st? Who says he didn't put a compulsion charm on the basket for the Dursley's to take him in. Who says he didn't put a warming spell on the basket? No one. Yes, the Dursley's are terrible people, how could Dumbledore do that?!?? Ok well, A) contrary to most depictions of them, they did not beat Harry. Neglect? Emotional Beatdowns? Overworking on chores? Minor Starvation? Yes. They were terrible people and should be locked up. However, Just because Voldemort "died" does not mean that his Death Eater's were gone. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knew what Harry was getting in to, but the sad story was was that there was no one that Dumbledore trusted more than the Blood Wards Lilly's death created to keep Harry safe. Dumbledore himself was way too busy to deal with Harry. Dumbledore being busy with the ICW, Wizengamot, Hogwarts, and anything other number of the hundreds of things he could be doing, and NOT being able to take care of Harry does not make him a bad person. Harry wasn't his responsibility. He was Sirius's. And Serius obviously thought revenge was more important than taking care of his best friends kid. There are another hundred arguement's i'm not going to get in to, some of them are not defendable from Dumbledore's side, like not checking up on Harry at least once a year, some of them are ridiculous as people just want to bash him. But it's fanfiction. Change it up. Make Dumbledore a good guy, and a badass wizard. It's done so rarely that if you pull it off right you will have a kickass story. As far as Snape goes... Sirius, Lupin, Pettigrew, and James Potter in today's school system would be in jail or juvy. Snape was a product of child abuse (his father ran his mother out and beat him), with one friend in the world. James Potter and crew did everything they could to make Snape miserable. In real life, Snape would have killed himself or shot up the school from what they did to him. There really is no way to justify the actions of the Marauders. Snape was friends and liked Lily. She liked him back. James was jealous (and honestly was probably spouting the pureblood dogma that half-bloods are below him to justify his actions). Sirius had a problem with Slytherins due to his family's problems. They teamed up to make Snape's life Hell, and it worked fifth year. Snape didn't kill himself, he didn't shoot up the school. No. He was driven into the Death Eater's, looking for acceptance because of James Potter and Crew's actions making him miserable. Yea, his attitude sucks, but bashing him is completely unfair. (H) Much more on Dumbledore below. If I have to be the only one who tries to stomp out this ridiculous Dumbledore bashing movement, I will do my damn best to try.
- Lily Potter (Added Oct 8, 2013) Ok, a few things here. First off, Lily Potter was supposed to be one of the smartest, most gifted, witches of her age. Why? Obviously to show that the whole "pure blood is better" idea is garbage. I also find it a bit too convenient that Harry's mom, a muggleborn was the most talented witch of her time, and then Hermione comes along, also a muggleborn, and is also the most gifted witch of the generation. It's shoving the idea that prejudice is wrong down the reader's throat, and it's poor writing. However that is off topic. Lily was the "most gifted witch of her generation." Brilliant, they said. So... why did she STAY IN FREAKING ENGLAND DURING A WAR WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT? James Potter, who even though we know next to nothing about him, or the Potters, is assumed to be vastly wealthy is her husband, she has the resources to stay hidden for a year... and she does it in England? What the hell is the point of that? I can see James wanting to stay in England, because, well, James is an idiot, as shown in cannon, but Lily's character being what it was, she would have clearly "worn the pants" in their relationship, as it were. And she doesn't force her family to leave England? Worst Parents of the Year Award. "But they had the Fideleous!" Yea, and they could have had that, in say, America. Now, I don't really like the whole idea of being your own secret keeper. That's too convenient, and magic this powerful has to have a drawback or it becomes uninteresting. So, there had to be a third party. So.. why not, I don't know, make a muggle the secret keeper, and obliviate him/her? If the worst Dark Lord of the century is after your family, you can obliviate one muggle (not that wizards would even care about that in the first place). They were supposed to be in a safe house, that doesn't mean "give the secret to a friend who can tell anyone he wants under threat of death". Honestly, it's almost unforgivable that not just the Potters, but the Bones, Longbottom's, Malfoy's, Hell, ANYONE from Harry's class who came from old families and had the money to get away, didn't at least send ONE parent out of the country with the kids in case the worst happened. Seriously. (I)
- James Potter (Added Oct 8, 2013) I can't stand how well liked James Potter is, just on general principal. Everyone hates cannon Malfoy, everyone hates cannon Ron Weasley. Why? Because they are bigots, bullies, and are generally pieces of shit to everyone who doesn't fit into their view of how the world should work. James Potter fits this mold perfectly. Hates Slytherin's "just because". I've probably mentioned it above, but I'm really surprised that Snape didn't commit suicide. Targeted bullying for six years, during a time when being in Slytherin as a half-blood would also get you mocked? On top of that, he had a horrible home life? James Potter and Sirius Black deserved to be expelled, at a minimum. There really isn't a way to defend them that doesn't leave you looking like an idiot. On top of that, I highly suspect James Potter of using love potions on Lily. Seriously, she's childhood best friends with Snape for years, good friends despite different houses for 5 years. Then, she see's James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter levitating Severus twenty feet in the air in only his underpants. Severus see's the girl he's been crushing on for years, see him hanging upside down in his underpants while dozens of students laugh at him, is obviously completely and utterly humiliated, and says something he instantly regrets. Something he goes to her and immediately apologizes for. And Lily what... refuses to forgive her best friend of over a decade for a one word slip, but decides to date James Potter, someone she has despised for years? Something doesn't add up. And to anyone who claims that Severus calling Lily a mudblood is unforgivable, grow up. A huge part of loving someone is about forgiving their mistakes, and putting the past behind you and not holding grudges. It's about being the better person, and putting someone else first. Severus realized he fucked up, big time, and went to immediately apologize. If Lily had cared about Severus at all, and she clearly did in cannon, she would have forgiven him. She might have been furious with him for weeks, but she would have forgiven him. Besides, Severus calling her a mudblood is virtually no different from calling your girlfriend or sister or mother a bitch or a whore, calling your boyfriend or brother a piece of fucking shit, or any other racial slur. What do we do after getting into a fight with a loved one? We end up regretting what we said and apologizing. What do they do? They forgive and forget because they are our friends and family who love us. We may sometimes continuously tell ourselves that they deserved it. But the fact that you have to justify it at all is your subconscious telling you that you fucked up. Human nature folks. Having Lily run off to date James Potter is unrealistic to the extreme, or foul play (read: love potions. Something clearly within James Potter's ability to get ahold of). (J)
- Large Inheritance for Harry (Added Oct 8, 2013) I really dislike this. I mean, I think giving Harry access to like, the equivalent of maybe 100 million pounds is kind of pushing it. People giving harry access to billions... What the hell is he going to use that on? Besides, it's not like wizard's pay property tax, pay mortgages, water bills, electricity bills. They probably pay taxes on sold goods, and they pay for food. They can repair clothing so they don't NEED to go shopping a lot. 100 million pounds worth of gold would go a much longer way in the wizarding world than it would in the non magical world. And it would already go a very long way, for most reasonable people. Giving Harry access to millions upon millions from the Potter vaults, from the Black vaults, from the Perival vaults, from Griffindors vaults, from even Slytherins vaults... well, when I see something like this I just close the story out. Not worth reading, it's too absurd. It's not even like Harry ever uses the money in the stories either. I think it's much more reasonable to say that the Potter's were old money, left Harry maybe 20-30 million Pounds, and leave it at that. Sure, if you need Harry to have access to a ton of money for research in the muggle world, or something similar, give him a lot. That's fine. But 20-30 million pounds in a culture that is stuck in the late seventeen hundreds is already overkill. Giving him access to 1 billion Galleons just basically makes me laugh. And then sigh, close the story out (because if you are going to be that ridiculous with the money that isn't even going to be used, there are going to be more ridiculous things I don't want to waste my time reading). (K)
-Part two to Large Inheritance - Let's assume that Lily was smart. I know she was described as brilliant, but staying in England when the worst Dark Lord of the century is after you is beyond moronic. So let's assume she got obliviated every time she brought that up to James. Seem's like something he'd do anyway. But that's off topic. So, you're smart. You know there is a killer after you. You know that all the muggle's who have died via Voldemort and his terrorist buddies are written off as accidental deaths via gas pipe explosions, etc. You know that your husband is spending money left and right to probably single handedly pay for the war since he's the stereotypical Griffindor and adores Albus Dumbledore. More importantly, you yourself have access to large amounts of money. So what does you do if you are Lily Potter? Apparently, taking out multiple large life insurance policies on yourself and your husband is not the right answer. Seriously, Lily probably could have afforded 10-15 million pounds of insurance on herself, and James, and clearly had the means to pay for it. This would have doubled or trippled what is a reasonable Potter Fortune. If she died, she knew their deaths would be reported as accidents. Why would she not take out big policies. It's not like she couldn't forge and charm her way through the underwriting process. And if they all died? She could have made sure that the Order of the Phoenix was well funded so that they could win the war. Shame on her. Worst Parent of the Year Award, again. (L)
- Albus Dumbledore - I am so sick of people showing Albus as "the bad guy". Part 1 Seriously, if one kid had to die (Harry) to stop thousand's more from dying, thousands that you had personally overseen as they attended your school as children, remembering all of their smiling faces, and realizing that you had the power to save them, would you do it? Of course you would. You wouldn't have to forgive yourself, but allowing the opposite to happen would be so much worse. Part 2 Lets examine this in more detail, yes? Pre Hogwarts Albus leaves Harry with his relatives, on the front porch in november. Obviously he used a warming charm and a sleeping charm to make sure Harry didn't wander off. Why not give him to someone who would care for him better?Obviously because Death Eater's were still around. Were there any assassination attempt's on Harry, while he was living with his aunt and uncle, in cannon? No? That's the fucking point. They couldn't find him. So yea, he was underfed, stuffed in a closet, and bullied by his cousin. He had a shitty childhood, and was mildly abused. Would he rather be dead? Obviously not. Year 1, Everyone says that it was Albus' plan that Harry becomes friends with Ron on the train, due to Molly asking in a loud voice, in front of muggles, where the entrance to the platform was. Why couldn't she just be doing it for self gain? She's poor, she knows that being the person to "introduce Harry to the magical world" is gonna earn huge brownie points. So she does it for greed. It's not like just because she was sorted into Griffindor that she can't be ambitious and selfish and greedy. But, what about the fact that Albus had Harry look for the Stone, that was obviously a set up! Yea, obviously. Look, obviously Albus knows the prophesy, he knows that Harry isn't going to die, he knows that Harry doesn't know that he isn't going to die. Albus realized that Harry needed to be tested, to get used to the idea that he would have to face adversity later in life. But Albus should have trained him from 11 years old!!! No. You don't turn an 11 year old into a war machine. It just isn't possible. It would A) break Harry and would make him useless, and B) 11 year olds wouldn't even have the attention span to train like that, or the ability. Lastly, if Harry had died trying to save the stone? Then the prophesy would have been fulfilled, and one more horcrux would be gone (not that Albus had any idea that Riddle was using horcrux's at this point), and Albus would have free reign to kick Riddle's ass into yesteryear. Year 2, I could go into detail here, but I'm kind of tired so I won't. Basically, same exact deal with year one. Albus really didn't know where the chamber was, the school is over a thousand years old, it's not like Albus is going to be able to find everything with all the responsibilities he has. (Obviously, Albus uses a time turner to get to Wizengamot sessions, as well as the ICW. He's Albus Dumbledore, he isn't going to neglect one responsibility for another.) Harry and Ron running into the forest to face a ton of spiders? Clearly not set up by Albus. Is he going to be upset about that? No, more adversity that Harry has overcome. Harry and Ron and Lockhart going into the chamber? Albus sent his Phoenix, a Fire Rooster to help. Obviously Harry wasn't going to lose that fight. And again, more adversity faced, Harry get's to grow, and gain combat and worldly experience. Year 3 Albus Dumbledore is the head of the Wizengamot. We don't actually know how trials work, so stating that Albus intentionally set Sirius to Azkaban is ridiculous, as we don't even know if he had the power to do so. He might just be the officiator. Anyway, that was clearly Crouch, and Bagnold. Sure, Albus could have gone and asked Sirius why he did it, but so could dozens of others. Azkaban is a prison, people would be allowed to visit the incarcerated. Now, on to Hogwarts. Albus Dumbledore gave Hermione a time turner!! I mean, SHIT guys, if that wasn't giving them permission to abuse the system and get extra training in, get extra knowledge from the Forbidden Section of the library, and all around just get stronger, then I don't know what is. If Hermione couldn't figure that out, she doesn't deserve the title "brightest witch of the generation". You say Albus could have detected Peter? How? It's not like he freaking tracks everyone who enter's the castle. It's not like Peter was in the castle with evil intentions. He was just hiding. He could have killed Harry in his sleep at any time year one or two. Clearly, he doesn't care, and only act's when he's forced to in year four. Year 4, Saying that Albus could have "declared the tournament a tie and redrawn the names" is such a load of bullshit it cracks me up. The Goblet of Fire had been around for many many centuries longer than Albus had been alive. Wizards, as shown in cannon, are idiots. They would not have thought to add in a "call it a tie" clause to re draw. It would be assumed that if you put your name in, you understood that you could easily die. I seriously doubt that in the past they had a problem with people trying to cheat their way into the tournament, they probably had to entice people to actually enter. Hence, the 1000 Galleon prize, or in other words, 1 million pounds. I actually feel there is some merit in saying that Albus should have recognized that his old friend Moody was acting odd, but on the other hand, that could just be chalked up to him being paranoid. I don't know what to do with that, going to let it go. Albus clearly wasn't involved in Harry's abduction at the end of the tournament, so that clear's up year four. Year 5, So, keeping Harry away from his friends... Look, Riddle is a master mind magus. He has a connection to Harry. Harry doesn't even know what Occlumency is. Would you invite your arch-nemesis into your secret base, to hear your secret planes? Of course not. Albus clearly didn't think that Harry was being possessed, but he had no way of knowing that Riddle wasn't looking through Harrys eyes, shuffling around though his memories, learning everything, gaining any advantage he could. Keeping him secluded was the only thing Albus could do, and it makes sense. Avoiding Harry for the rest of the year also makes sense under this premise. What else, what else... Oh, Occlumency lessons. Albus gave Harry a freaking invisibility cloak. Hogwarts has over 1000 years of stored knowledge in the Library. Obviously they keep dangerous books there as there is a forbidden section, only for faculty. It's not Albus' or Severus' fault if Harry was too stupid to go into the Library with his cloak and find a book on Occlumency. Snape didn't have the time to sit with Harry and teach him, he expected him to do that in his free time, as he should have. Think about it, you get told someone can enter your mind. Do you just sit there when you have the resources to figure out what to do virtually at your finger tips? NO! You go and spend hours trying to figure out what to do about it. Snape had all the responsibility of a full time teacher, as well as having the responsibility to start stocking up potions for the war that would happen. He was quite busy, and spending hours teaching Harry what is basically meditation would be a huge waste of time. Lastly, Umbridge. Scenario: You run a school, the President of the United States, or the Prime Minister of England comes to you and says, "You are going to hire this person, or I am going to have you tossed into prison." What do you do. That's what I thought. Year 6, I honestly don't even care about year six. By now, anyone reading this who does care about year six should be able to use the same lines of thought that i've given for year's 1-5 to figure out year six. Year's six and seven were horrible books, and while I could easily give justification for all of Albus' actions, my finger's are starting to really hurt and if you can't figure it out, you probably didn't have the patience to read this far anyway. I will say, the idea of horcrux's is idiotic. If Harry was horcrux, it would have broke year 2 when he had basilisk venom in his body. Year 7, see year six. Though, I Will say that having Ginny be a nobody year one, a nobody year two, a nobody year three, a nobody year four, a nobody year five... well, not really a nobody, but a huge fangirl, and then suddenly girlfriend year six made me want to strangle JKR. She spends five years showing how compatible Harry and Hermione are, and how big of an idiot, bigot, and fool Ron is, and then puts Harry with the fangirl, and Ron with Hermione. You know what? Putting Ron with Hermione is basically saying to women, "It doesn't matter how hard you work in life, even the best of you are bound to end up unhappy, in a dead end marriage, as a housewife." And really, is that a good message? No. (M)
Character nicknames - A) Draco Malfoy would have absolute no idea what marijuana is, or that "pot" is slang for the drug. Stop having him call Potter "Pothead". It's absolutely ridiculous. If the magical world has recreational drugs, they would obviously be potions, not plants. Draco calls Potter "Scarhead", because of his scar. Changing that to Pothead isn't clever. B) Stop giving Voldemort and Dumbledore names such as "Moldyshorts" and "Bumblebee". Seriously, it's stupid. If you are of the age where you think that's a legitimate way to seriously mock someone, you probably aren't mature to be reading most of the material on this site. C) "Dogfather" and "Uncle Mooney". Whoever came up with "Dogfather" was obviously clever. The rest of you people need to stop using it, it was funny when it came out, it's long since lost its novelty. As far as the marauder nicknames go, I personally find it inappropriately silly to have anyone other than the marauders call each other that. Seriously, if *your* uncle suddenly told you to call him, I dunno, Uncle Featherface or something, you would probably give them an odd look and *not* do that.
- To Summarize, (A) Hitwizards are Hitmen. They are not Aurors. They are not Police. They only way they work for the ministry is if they get hired. (B)Remus Lupin parents are cruel, cruel individuals who were TRYING to temp fate by naming their son that. (C) Wizards live longer but are unrealistically portrayed as if they age normally. (D) The monetary system is screwed up. Big Time. (E) Gold is still Gold, even in a fictional book. It does not cost $5 Pounds. No. No it doesn't. No exceptions. I don't care if you don't like it. (F) The movie portrayal of Goblins was shamefully ridiculous... but the director was aiming at a kids audience, so it is understandable. (F-2) Harry is not the first "Muggle Born" to come to Gringots. The Goblin Nation is NOT going to bend down and kiss his ass because he was polite. No, no they arn't. Even for a fanfiction plot device. No. Stop it. (G) Voldemort makes a much more interesting character when he isn't portrayed as a "bad guy". Make him a revolutionary. Hell, in the Revolutionary War, we American's were Voldemort, the British were the Order. Isn't that interesting? (H) Character bashing is the mark of a bad writer. You can have an amazing plot, fantastic character development, no grammatical errors, good pacing, the whole nine yards... and yet if you bash, it takes away a ton of worth from your writing. (I) Lily Potter was poorly written, and probably dosed with love potions. (J) James Potter was a fuckup of huge proportions. Probably one of the only character's I don't feel is worth much of anything or even deserves to be "redeemed" in fanfiction. (K) The Potter fortune should reasonably be about 20-40 million Pounds. Remember, they are living in what is basically the 18th century. 40 Million would go a long, long way back then, and money was much harder to make back then too. Secondly, giving Harry access to like five different families via something convoluded like an "inheritance test" that the goblins do by "reading your blood" is absurd. Stop writing those stories, and come up with something original. And actually interesting. (L) Lily should have had life insurance. Sure, you could just write the Potter Fortune as being huge, but that takes away realism from the story, and Lily was supposed to be smart. She was supposed to have looked at every possible way to get away from Voldemort, and in doing so, she would have had to accept the fact that they might fail anyway. Buying Life Insurance on herself and James and having Harry as the beneficiary, or at the very least, the Order of the Phoenix, was the least she could have done with the 20-40 million pounds her husband was probably freely giving to Albus Dumbledore. (M) Dumbledore is a fucking boss, does NOT deserve any of the shit people on this website give him, and clearly did his best, which, as it turned out, was more than enough.
So, if you have made it this far, you are either furious at me (send me messages! I'll laugh at them, and you, and then respond, blowing up your argument), or are nodding your heads because i've completely changed, or helped to change some of your views on the HP verse. Either way, toss me a PM, we can chat, come up with new issues to discuss or something.
Things that piss me off on this site:
1. The Inbox. In the Inbox, when someone replies to a review you left, it should automatically state what chapter the review was for, what the story name was, have a link to the story, and say what category of fanfiction it is. Wouldn't be that hard to do, and probably should have been done years ago.
1. People who do not understand that a story has something called a "finish" and an "end". If you write a story, and plan on making it into a sequel of stories, that is fine and good. Your "series" of stories has the same bad guy in each story? Fine and good. However, if the "sequels" are just broken up continuations of the first story, and not separate plot lines, then it is not a "sequel", and you have thus fucked up.
2. Disclaimers. " I make no money, nor do I seek any commercial advantage from this work. As such it constitutes "fair use" as defined in 17 U.S.C. §107" This is the only disclaimer I have ever seen that has any right being called a disclaimer. In fact, with this being the case, no one needs a disclaimer in their story anyway. If it makes you feel better, put one on the first chapter. However, as it is a "story", you do not need to absolve yourself of ownership of what you are writing each and every chapter. Lastly, if you create an Original Character, or a semi original plotline, and use them in someone else's universe (lets say J.K. Rowlings Harry Potter series), they are not your (the author on this site) property. Yes, people should ask to utilize any idea you have come up with as that is polite, and others on this site will get mad if you do not (as this site generally has a fantastic community), but no one owns anything that is written on this site if it is not original content and they have not filed for a copyright (which obviously no one will every do let alone obtain).
Lastly, I know I have not written any stories, and as such do note qualify for being a beta reader, but if any author feels like bouncing some ideas for their stories off of me, i would be quite happy to have a discussion with whomever. My current interest (as of, as stated above, 4/17/13) lies with the Harry Potter verse, which has turned out much more interesting than I had thought it was going to be.
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