lutzdiem
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Joined 10-09-09, id: 2110099, Profile Updated: 12-16-12
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

'lutz.

-Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

-They say that nice guys are found at every corner. Too bad the earth is round.

-I fell off a 50 foot ladder today and almost broke my leg. But Luckily I was only on the 2nd step.

-I'm never sure what to do with my eyes when I'm at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What?

-did you ever notice that the 'lol' symbol looks like a drowning guy? bet hes not Laughing out loud!

-LOL can now be LQTM (laughing quitely to myself) cause lets face it, thats what your really doing!

-The toothfairy teaches little kids that they can sell their body parts for money...


IM AGAINST BULLYING: That girl you just called fat? She's overdosing on diet pills. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this on your page, if you are against bullying..

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An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy by m81170 reviews
A first kiss, a first dance, a first curse word shared between best friends. This is the tale of a boring, young geek and the social pariah who thought the world of him. A tale of growing up. A tale of a Non-Romantic Romance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 212,915 - Reviews: 14831 - Favs: 7,644 - Follows: 7,010 - Updated: 1/4/2015 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hit By Destiny by ocdmess reviews
Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 59 - Words: 463,685 - Reviews: 20239 - Favs: 12,134 - Follows: 7,009 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Price of a Broken Heart by MrsEdwardCullenP reviews
Twelve years without a word. It took so little for her to leave me. And now... of all the hospital rooms in the whole country, why did she have to walk into mine? "Get the f- out of here," I spat. AH, Canon pairings. M for lang mostly. R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 177,191 - Reviews: 2367 - Favs: 2,366 - Follows: 1,551 - Updated: 4/30/2012 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
For the love of a King by magan bagan reviews
Bella Swan was leading a pretty normal life. A couple months shy of her eighteenth birthday, she learns her parents made a deal with the king of England. Now she's forced to move there and to meet the prince, Edward Cullen. What's his secret? All human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 101,806 - Reviews: 3246 - Favs: 4,831 - Follows: 3,508 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 10/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Rough Start by ItzMegan73 reviews
Overnight irresponsible Edward goes from bachelor to father of a 5 yr old. Meanwhile responsible, prepared Bella begins her first job as Kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary. When irresponsible meets the epitome of responsible, sparks will fly!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 253,554 - Reviews: 23022 - Favs: 14,667 - Follows: 10,696 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
When Fiction Becomes Reality by BITTENEV reviews
Bella is a writer whose most successful book is one she wrote about Edward, her high school crush. Edward is now an A-list actor and has signed on to star in a movie based on Bella's creation. AU/AH Bella-of-the-Ball continuation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 157,715 - Reviews: 8173 - Favs: 8,323 - Follows: 8,477 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Camisado by Sophz456 reviews
They told her it was suicide. She didn't believe them. The mission? Maintain the cover, get inside and extract the targets safely. Simple, right? Bella Swan used to think so... until she met Edward Masen. E/B AH. Sequel - Heavy In Your Arms - in progress.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 161,847 - Reviews: 1617 - Favs: 1,500 - Follows: 1,199 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Daniel Gale: Cumming to America by Annetteskitty reviews
Nerdalicious Daniel Gale is saying goodbye to England and hello to the United States. Looking to reinvent himself, he is all too gratified by the corn-fed derriers of Americans. Daniel Gale/Twilight cross over, slightly crackfic, AU, AH, Prepare for Perv
Crossover - Twilight & Bad Mother's Handbook - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 103,406 - Reviews: 4539 - Favs: 996 - Follows: 1,054 - Updated: 6/14/2011 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Bella
Code Name: Nanny by xvampiree reviews
“So let me get this straight, you want me to help you catch your wife cheating on you, so that you can divorce her, while taking care of your children?” OOC M for language and Lemons Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,371 - Reviews: 4384 - Favs: 3,047 - Follows: 3,476 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
Holding Out For You by ObsessingOverEdward reviews
After her divorce, Bella starts a new life with her son. She soon meets a handsome doctor, who is dealing with his own loss and is struggling to raise his two kids. It's a story of finding strength during adversity and learning to love again
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,793 - Reviews: 18542 - Favs: 7,726 - Follows: 3,711 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Friend Boy by Teeny Tiny Twilight reviews
As if starting a new school away from her friends and family isn't enough, she has nuisance/captain of the football team Edward interested in her. “Hello, I’m Edward Cullen.” She took my hand, shaking it, “I’m not interested.”AH/AU Bella has better balanc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 167,260 - Reviews: 2914 - Favs: 4,227 - Follows: 1,502 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Woman Scorned by Bella Baby24 reviews
Bella is betrayed by her husband. She writes a book based on the plan for revenge she wishes she could enact against her ex and his lover. How will Edward react when he sees Bella again and realizes that he's the inspiration behind the best-selling book?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 67,779 - Reviews: 5697 - Favs: 3,045 - Follows: 3,467 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 11/3/2009
A Woman Scorned Outtakes by Bella Baby24 reviews
This is a compilation of different POVs and book excerpts from “A Woman Scorned.” Rated M for language and Adult Content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,492 - Reviews: 712 - Favs: 546 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
On a Lonesome Road by valeri29 reviews
Bella's Mom forces her to join the Forks High band. There she meets her five best friends. But amidst the flirting and pranks, Bella finds herself unable to escape one devastating, life-altering mistake and fears her life is over at 15. No teen pregnancy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 191,242 - Reviews: 1005 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Retail Therapy by cosmogirl7481 reviews
Bella is successful and strong and has everything she thinks she wants in life. A chance meeting with a mysterious Edward one night, potentially changes everything she thought she knew and wanted. AU/AH/Slightly OOC. Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 234,825 - Reviews: 5092 - Favs: 3,769 - Follows: 1,934 - Updated: 7/28/2010 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Untouchable by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
I have no idea how I survived that day. All I know is that no one ever touched my bare skin again for the next five years of my life." Bella befriends crazy Alice Brandon and meets Edward Masen, the guy living in her attic. Nothing will be the same. ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 54,599 - Reviews: 1529 - Favs: 1,104 - Follows: 1,275 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Bella, Edward
Taking Your Own Advice by xvampiree reviews
Advice columnist, Bella Swan, meets a handsome stranger in a dark alleyway. They have a one night stand and she falls pregnant. What happens when he becomes the editor of the newspaper she works at? OOC AH Canon. M for language and lemons. E/B. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 60,802 - Reviews: 1628 - Favs: 2,341 - Follows: 874 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Baby Baby! by TeamTwilight26 reviews
COMPLETE! Bella and Edward get an unexpected surprise but Bella keeps it a secret. Will she tell Edward? And if she does tell him what will happen next? Really good! I promise you won't be disappointed! AWARD WINNING! Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 92,041 - Reviews: 2168 - Favs: 1,408 - Follows: 618 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
taken apart at the seams by Kree-on-toast reviews
Bella is a shy girl, brought up in a broken home, but is all that about to change? AH,cannon pairings and rated M for safety :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,604 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Gesture Me Home by Teeny Tiny Twilight reviews
A one shot. if requested, it will turn into a lemony two shot. Bella, planning to unwind at a bar, meets Edward. An All hhuman Edward and Bella love bit. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,645 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/20/2009 - Published: 9/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Antithesis by gkkstitch reviews
What if you lost your heart's perfect match? Edward knows someone who is living his worst nightmare, who has vowed that Edward and Bella will never suffer that heartache, even if the Volturi may be the source of that threat.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,164 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cold War by Gleena reviews
In 2026, the Cullens realize that Aro desperately wants to possess Edward in order to use him in a barbaric experiment. Now, the Cullens must evade the Volturi while protecting one of their own as well as Aro's unwitting human pawn. 100% Canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 120,878 - Reviews: 648 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Complete
Collision of Worlds by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
Full story of The Alone and the Lonely! Bella Swan is surprised when lonely actor Edward Masen steps on her hand in a book store; she's even more surprised when he sits down next to her. Before to after the one-shot. Lemons. And plot. Sometimes. On hiatus
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 47,664 - Reviews: 1025 - Favs: 937 - Follows: 1,131 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Edward, Bella
Renesmee's First Lie by Gleena reviews
Renesmee Cullen believes that broccoli is a four-letter word. Edward is shocked by how far his little girl will go to avoid the excruciating cruciferous torture and finds that he has to step up to the plate of parenthood. Collaboration by Gleena and ebhg.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,700 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Coming Home by Imaginings reviews
Christmas is coming soon, and there's only one thing I want. Edward to come home, to hold me in his arms and tell me he loves me. Why does there always have to be so much hurt? For Daddy's Little Cannibal's 18th birthday, and to the victims of 9/11.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,134 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Complete
Till Death Do Us Part by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
All human. Edward and Bella meet each other at a bar. They get drunk and hit it off. Edward admits that he won’t have sex till marriage. Bella, on a whim, asks Edward to marry her – he agrees. What a shame that Edward doesn't believe in divorce…
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,298 - Reviews: 8049 - Favs: 3,795 - Follows: 3,149 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
A World Without Sound by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
AU, BxE. My name is Bella Swan; good at sign language and karate. My best friend is deaf, and you know what? It doesn't matter. Won twice at Twilight Awards, and has been nominated more. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,849 - Reviews: 7747 - Favs: 9,261 - Follows: 2,628 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Twilight Goes to Band Camp! by Mrs.IanOshea reviews
Our beloved characters put one foot in front of the other as they head off to Spruce Forest Band Camp. Full of hilarity and plenty of sweet moments. All human. Canon Pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 9/1/2008 - Published: 8/12/2008
is it fate, or Fate? reviews
A/H: Edward Masen 29 yrs old DR. what happens when your unknown past found you? would you regret it if it bought to you your new existence, life and happiness? things happen for a reason. in this case, its Fate.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 66,216 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 11/27/2009 - Edward, Bella
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