Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.
So I'm awesome! I like a lot of different kinds of books.
A few of the books I like right now are Twilight, Artemis Fowl, Goose Girl, Evil Genius and I will forever LOVE the Harry Potter Series!
If you have ever ran into a door, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you rarely read these things but love them to death, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people think you're mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had to sweep a floor, and tried to get the broom by shouting, "UP!" copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the Trix the darn rabbit, copy this into your profile.
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
If you think Harry Potter is still better than Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried when Sirius Black fell through the veil, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are a strong supporter of S.P.E.W. (Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare), and want to give all the little House Elves neon colored socks, copy and paste this onto your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
If you laughed so hard you almost choked when Ron read Harry's tea leaves in divination, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes with yourself copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
if you turn your head to the right and see a pirate, copy paste this into your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
profileIf you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.
If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. If you agree, copy and past this to your profile.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. If you so totally agree with that, then copy and paste this onto your profile.
Warning: May cause tears.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
My favorite quotes:
1. When life gives you lemons ask for tequila & salt and call me
2. Best friends are like star you can't always see them but you know there always there.
3. A friend will comfort you you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say it's because your gay isn't it!!
4. Friend's are forever boys are Whatever.
5. A good friend will come bail you out of jail... A best friend will say that was awesome!!
6. A good friend says that you made the right decision when giving up. A best friend tells you not to deny love or I knew he was Gay.
7. Best friends can see the hurt in you eyes while others are fooled by your smile.
8. Were the not judging breakfast club!
9. You can't save the damsel if she likes her distress. - Gossip Girl
10. Dear Jacob, I win. Sincerely, Edward.
11. Vampires like baseball?
12. What if if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?
13. Do I dazzle you?
14. I hear voices in my mind and you're worried you're the freak.
15. Aro, would you ask Jane to stop attacking my wife?
16. You look good. Immortality suits you.
17. Now it's your turn not the break me.
18. Who am I. That a secret I will never tell xoxo gossip girl.
19. WE ALL GO A LITTLE MAD SOMETIMES.
20. I AM WHO I AM YOUR APPROVAL IS NOT NEEDED.
21. Were the kind of friends that get hit by parked cars.
22. If all my friend were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump off I would be at the bottom to a catch them.
23. Give me one friend just one who meets the needs of all my varying moods.
24. I'm with the vampires of course!
25. If we could bottle your luck. We'd have a weapon of mass destruction in our hands.
26. So you're the vampire girl? Yes, Are you the wolf girl?
27. It sound as if you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you share. - Alice Cullen
28. Fall again bella -Emmett
No I hit a werewolf in the face - Bella
29. Love stinks them you die
30. True friends only make you cry from laughing to hard
31. So we're a little Crazy but thats how we roll
You know you live in 2009 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
Random Funny Stuff
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck.
There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
You call me a B--ch well a B--ch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The more I learn, the less I understand.
AA is for quitters!
"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."
"If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
My grandma got me a book called The Amazing Book of Useless Information Here are a few of the funny things in it:
Dormitory rearranged is Dirty Room
Presbyterian rearranged is Best in Prayer
Astronomer rearranged is Moon Starer
Desperation rearranged is A Rope Ends it
The Eyes rearranged is They See
George Bush rearranged is He Bugs Gore
The Morse Code rearranged is Here Come Dots
Slot Machines rearranged is Cash Lost in 'em
Evangelist rearranged is Evil's Agent
Animosity rearranged is Is No Amity
Election Results rearranged is Lies-Let's Recount
Snooze Alarms rearranged is Alas! No More Z's
A Decimal Point rearranged is I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes rearranged is That Queer Shake
Eleven Plus Two rearranged is Twelve Plus One
Mother-In-Law rearranged is Woman Hitler
a.) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
b.) Which country makes Panama hats?
c.) From which animal do we get catgut?
d.) In which month do Russians celebrate the october Revolution?
e.) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
f.) The Canery Islands in the Pacific are named after which animal?
g.) What was King George VI's first name?
h.) What color is a purple finch?
i.) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
a.) 116 years b.) Ecuador c.) Sheep and Horses d.) November
e.) Squirrel Fur f.) Dogs (Canines) g.) Albert h.) Crimson i.) New Zealand
Count the number of F's in the following text:
Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years.
There are six. The brain cannot procces the word "of."
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