TeamEmmett009
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Joined 10-17-09, id: 2117939, Profile Updated: 11-20-11
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Hello people.

I'm TeamEm. In the words of my boss, I'm the "coolest, funnest weirdo" you'll ever meet. I'm a 20 year old, newly married barista. I decaf all jerks and people who order "grande soy extra hot no foam lattes in a venti cup with extra whipped cream" and other such complicated beverages.

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Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,800 - Reviews: 19951 - Favs: 12,643 - Follows: 5,324 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,751 - Reviews: 14266 - Favs: 11,355 - Follows: 5,287 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Eternally Damned by twiXlite reviews
Edward is THE ultimate vampire. The original. What happens when a visit to the Volturi causes him to pay the Cullens' a visit? Will he find them a threat to the world he's spent an eternity shaping or will he leave them be and let them live in peace?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 173,728 - Reviews: 4487 - Favs: 4,823 - Follows: 2,597 - Updated: 4/30/2013 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bonne Foi by Amethyst Jackson reviews
AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 169,901 - Reviews: 14455 - Favs: 10,159 - Follows: 7,824 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Cannabean Betrothal by ItzMegan73 reviews
Edward has immersed himself in the Cannabean way to ward off the hurt of a life-changing experience; but an unexpected betrothal teaches him how little he knows about life. There is no abuse in this story.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 231,548 - Reviews: 14192 - Favs: 7,079 - Follows: 5,241 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 9/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType reviews
Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the treehouse out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 538,967 - Reviews: 21114 - Favs: 11,572 - Follows: 7,318 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14088 - Favs: 14,621 - Follows: 8,102 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pickles by I Brake For Bishounen Boys reviews
Jacob gets Edward pregnant. Bella gets annoyed. Jacob and Edward frankly don't care. Carlisle realizes that eternal adolescents are probably the scariest beings this side of the Milky Way. Mpreg, Jacob/Edward, Neglected!Bella, Ukeified!Edward. Bite me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,244 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 12/18/2009 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
The Mirrors by adorablecullens reviews
Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,498 - Reviews: 4047 - Favs: 3,688 - Follows: 1,199 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 8488 - Favs: 13,187 - Follows: 2,689 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Red Line by WinndSinger reviews
Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 351,671 - Reviews: 19326 - Favs: 11,939 - Follows: 5,467 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
A World Without Sound by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
AU, BxE. My name is Bella Swan; good at sign language and karate. My best friend is deaf, and you know what? It doesn't matter. Won twice at Twilight Awards, and has been nominated more. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,849 - Reviews: 7609 - Favs: 8,675 - Follows: 2,446 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8290 - Favs: 7,408 - Follows: 1,694 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
A rite of passage by caracol reviews
AU All Human. Bella and Edward are best friends. A story of self discovery and the loss of innocence. This story is about how two people deal with sex, love, trust, friendship all while growing up. Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 35,392 - Reviews: 1158 - Favs: 2,916 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 3/13/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
Vampiric Peaches by Llama Mama23 reviews
Emmett decides to attempt to turn peaches into vampires. WARNING: Extremely pointless and stupid!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,813 - Reviews: 748 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 120 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Complete
The Day That Tina Almost Croaked by Kam reviews
Uncle Rico is a flipping idiot! He almost killed Tina! And Kip is such a retard, he doesn't even care. Can Napoleon and Pedro save this fat, lardlike llama from dying?
Napoleon Dynamite - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,165 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/8/2005
The Fresh Prince of Forks reviews
Bella wonders how Edward came to be a vampire. And he answers her... in song. Warning- incredibly stupid.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete