Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, Study series, and One Piece.
A good or best friend!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever (Stole this too)
Walmart- things to do
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some toliet paper!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
9. While walking around the store, sing an annoying song in a loud voice.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. Toilet paper as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
41. Two words: "Marco Polo."
42. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
43. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
56. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
57. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you were Team Edward until Taylor Lautner came along with his 8-pack, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fang and Max should have gotten together in the first book, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think peoplewho only like Paramore because of Twilight are losers, than copy this into your profile.
If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.
If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.
If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.
If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile.
If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.
If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang post this in your profile
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.
If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.
If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile
If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. ( I am going to, I already told my mom, haha!)
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (E.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (E.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (E.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions.)
The Stupidest Things On Products
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)