VAM-Ninja
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Joined 10-18-09, id: 2118984, Profile Updated: 01-23-11
Author has written 4 stories for Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter.

And now introducing the three caballeros...

We're three caballeros
Three gay caballeros
They say we are birds of a feather
We're happy amigos
No matter where he goes
The one, two, and three goes
We're always together

We're three happy chappies
With snappy serapes
You'll find us beneath our sombreros
We're brave and we'll stay so
We're bright as a peso
Who says so? We say so!
The three caballeros

Ahhhh!
We have the stars to guide us
Guitars here beside us
To play as we go
We sing and we samba
We shout 'aye caramba!
What means aya caramba?
Oh yes, I don't know

Through fair or stormy weather
We stand close together
Like books on the shelf
And pals though we may be
When some latin baby
Says yes, no, or maybe
Each man is for himself!

Jalisco no te rajes
Me sale del alma
Gritar con color
Abrir todo el pecho
Pa echar este grito
Que linddo es jalisco
Palabra de honor

And now a fun little quiz as filled out by Moolie...

Write Down Ten Random Characters!

1. Robin Hood (Men in Tights)

2. Jack Sparrow

3. Captain Kirk

4. Ariel (The Little Mermaid)

5. Obi Wan Kenobi

6. Peter Pan

7. Legolas

8. Edmund Pevensie

9. Arwen

10. Draco Malfoy

Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their own house. What happens?

Ariel comes into the room with a platter of snacks*

Ariel: Now who would like...Oh dear...

Edmund: *drowning*

Kirk: Remind me to thank Scotty for this most superior water suit.

Ariel: What do we do!?!?! He's drowning! This is a children's movie!!!

Kirk places arm on Ariel's shoulders*

Kirk: Well little lady, it doesn't have to be...

Edmund: *Bubbles*

You need to stay at a friend's house for a night. Whose house, One or Six?

(In Sherwood Forest...)

Robin Hood: And here is the eating circle, any questions?

Moolie: Where are the showers?

Robin Hood: What's that?

(In Neverland...)

Moolie: Peter, hows about I give you a thimble?

Peter Pan: Huh?

Five minutes later*

Peter Pan: AAAAAHHHHH!! *flies away*

Moolie: Aw, I'm not that much of a pedophile am I?

Aggie: Yes, yes you are.

Moolie: Take your own quiz! (Neverland! hands down!)

Two and Seven are making out when Ten walks in. Ten's reaction?

(Jack Sparrow and Legolas are making out and Draco Malfoy walks in...)

Draco: AAAHH!! My pureblood eyes! They bleed!

Jack: Woah, sorry mate. *Turns to Legolas* You know, you look awfully familiar...

Legolas: I was just about to say the same thing! Weird...

Jack: *Shrugs* More rum?

Draco: Damn muggles...

Legolas: Hey! Who are you calling a muggle?

Three falls in love with Six. Eight is jealous.What happens?

Captain Kirk: I now realize that my wanton lust for women was just a ruse! Come here you snuggley little fairy boy!

Peter Pan: Never!!!

Edmund: Hey! That's illegal! Plus I'm his age! We belong together!

Peter Pan: I love no one but Wendy! *flies away*

Captain Kirk: Look what you did you stupid Brit! *shoots him with phaser gun*

Edmund dies, Kirk pages to the Enterprise*

Captain Kirk: Scotty? We have a little problem...

Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who rescues you, two, ten or seven?

Moolie: Let me just take a short cut through this dark, suspicious, unsanitary alleyway!

Ariel tackles Moolie*

Ariel: Rawr!!! I want to be part of your world!

Moolie: AAHHH!!! Why do I make these bad life decisions?

Legolas: Have no fear!

Ariel: Ugh, my plan is foiled. I challenge you to a hair flip duel!

Legolas: You're on!

Ariel: *Pulls the hair flip from the movie*

Legolas: Not bad, but no match for this! *Pulls highly superior elven hair flip*

Moolie: My hero!

Legolas: Come on girl friend! Let's go get our nails done!

Ariel: Wait! I have no feet! I can't walk!

The other two skip gleefully away*

Ariel: This was not well thought out...

One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens?

Robin Hood: Now everyone knows that the best ingredients are stolen, not bought...

Prince John: Curse you Robin of Loxley!

Robin Hood: Gotta jet! See you next week on Robin and his Merry Meals. Rabbi Tuckman will show us how to prepare the perfect Seder Meal!

Cheesy show music, lights fade*

Three has to marry either Eight, Four, or Nine. Who do they choose?

Kirk would probably choose Ariel because she has the worst decision making skills and would actually accept. Also she wears a shell bra.

Seven kidnaps Two and demands something from Five for Two's release. What is it?

Legolas: *Holding Jack at arrow point* Return my Herbal Essences or he dies!

Obi Wan Kenobi: Why would I want to save that?

Jack: *sad face*

Legolas: You have a point...

Jack: *double sad face*

Everyone gangs up on Three. Does Three stand a chance?

Everyone: GET HIM!

Captain Kirk: I don't believe in No-Win Scenarios! Beam me up Scotty!

Kirk beams up. Silence. Everyone turns and glares at Ariel*

Ariel: I really need to start thinking before planning these things...

Everyone is invited to Two and Seven's wedding except for Eight. How does Eight react?

Edmund: Well old bean, you still have friends in Narnia. *opens up Wardrobe, curls into fetal position by the rain boots, begins rocking back and forth*

Why is Six afraid of Seven?

Legolas: Aw, you're so cute! Here let me do your hair!

Peter Pan: Why is everyone molesting me!!?!?

Nine arrives late for Two and Seven's wedding. What happens and why were they late?

Legolas and Jack are standing at the altar*

Arwen: Sorry I'm late! I had trouble getting Aragorn to come.

Aragorn: Legolas, I can't believe you're turning gay on me man.

Legolas: Why can't you accept me for who I am? *runs away weeping*

Jack: Luv! Come back!

20 minutes later, the wardrobe door opens, Edmund looks up*

Aragorn: Got any room in here?

Edmund*nods*

Aragorn crouches by the summer sandals and begins rocking back and forth*

Five and Nine get drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

Knocking at the door*

Moolie: Ugh...who could it be at this hour?

Opens door*

Obi Wan Kenobi: Ssssuup! How'sss it gooooing?

Arwen: Hee hee hee hee!

Moolie: Obi Wan! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! And Arwen? How are you drunk? You're an elf! Is that even possible?

Arwen: *bursts into fits of uncontrollable giggling*

Moolie: Well apparently so...

Obi Wan Kenobi: Woooah! W-when I wave my ha-hand really faaaaast it goes all bluuuurry!!

Nine murders Two's best friend (Has to be someone on the list). What does Two do to get back?

Arwen is washing dishes, she spots a musty bottle sitting on the counter. Opening it up, she takes a whiff. Grimacing, she pours the contents down the drain.*

Jack Sparrow: NOOOOOOO!! ME RUM!!!!!! ME BEST RUM!!!!!!!!

Arwen: Wha...?

Jack Sparrow: YOU! You...killed my only friend in the world!!!! *cradles empty bottle in hands* He had such a short life...

Arwen*rolls eyes* Jack, I'm sure you can get a new bottle-

Jack Sparrow: *gives death glare* You will pay for this, mark my words...

That Night*

Legolas: AAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Arwen: What's going on?

Legolas: M-m-my HAIR!!! ITS BLUE!!!!

Arwen: Legolas, is that my shampoo you're holding?

Legolas: I ran out of mine so I was borrowing some of yours...

Jack Sparrow: Damn! Sorry luv, that was meant for-

Legolas: We are so over! *Throws shampoo at Jack, stalks off*

Six and One are in mortal danger. Does Six save One or themselves?

Robin and Peter Pan are surrounded by Pirates*

Robin Hood: If we work together, we can take 'em!

Peter Pan: Ew, I'm not working with a grown up! I have a reputation! *flies away*

Robin Hood: Twit...

Eight and Three go camping. But they forget food. What do they do?

Captain Kirk: Ahhh...so...hungry...

Edmund: Here! I got us some Turkish delight!

Captain Kirk: Where did you get that...?

Edmund: That nice lady in the sleigh over there!

Captain Kirk: What have I told you about taking food from strangers!?!? What did you give her?!?!

Edmund: My...soul...


WE PROMISE THERE WILL BE AN AATBD UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Middleearth by Do a Barrel Roll reviews
Everything you shouldn't do if you want to survive in Middle-earth...yet the Fellowship and friends are going to do it all anyways. After all, where's the fun in war without a little chaos? Oh dear...It looks like Sauron will have a lot on his plate.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 15,819 - Reviews: 629 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 7/11/2012 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Aragorn, Sauron - Complete
Would You Like Lembas With That? by Lyrical Ballads reviews
[Discontinued] Haldir experiences the joy and pain of working in a fast food restaurant. Oh, if only he had gone to college.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,232 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Haldir, Faramir, Peregrin T.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

An Adventure to be Determined, Part III reviews
The gang is back for the final leg of the journey! With EVEN MORE action, humor, and romance? than ever, there's no telling where this story will end. Yes, you might think the adventure is pretty much determined, but just wait and see...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,666 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/12/2013 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Frodo B., Legolas
An Adventure to be Determined, Part II reviews
The adventure is now slightly determined! We're back and better than ever, with more action! more fart jokes! and more romance? Warning: Rated PG for Pure Gold. Read and Review, please. Legolas x OC; Pippin x OC; Frodo x OC.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,124 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 4/1/2010 - Frodo B., Legolas - Complete
There's Literally no way to Move forward! reviews
Oh but there is! Join us as we follow the deeds and disasters of the next generation! With action! Pointless Humor! and romance? Is Ron ever going to stop sending Draco abusive fruit platters?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,584 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/22/2011 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
An Adventure to be Determined reviews
The fellowship has a few more members... Get ready to rumble! Action! Humor! and Romance? Why are there so many doors in Elrond's house? Why can Elrond never finish a meal? All of this and more! ReadxReview please Legolas x OC; Pippin x OC; Frodo x OC
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,915 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/21/2010 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Frodo B., Legolas - Complete