Author has written 5 stories for Naruto, and Durarara!!/デュラララ!!.
Hello happy people of the world! Or not happy...I don't want to discriminate against non-happy people, ya know
Welcome to the wonderful world that I exist in!! Yes, 'tis I, Funk Coffin, (you can just call me Funk, though.) My world is an awesome one. It is a beautiful Yaoi-land where the Akatsuki rule, and Sasuke is always uke.
Name: Of course I have one!
Age: Old enough to understand how life works
Race: No thanks, I fail at endurance
Location: The Milky Way
So here I am...Accomplishing nothing. I write fanfics for the sake of boredom, and to hopefully bring a smile on someone's face! However, what I write may not be for the purest of hearts, or for those who don't really care for anything yaoi. I tend to write according to what my readers want to a certain extent, because I am here to please them! (But, I repeat, only to an extent, as I am the one who came up with the story anyway.)
Requests will be heard. But don't get your hopes up...I'll only do it if I really feel like it.
Pairings that I like and/or may write about: GaaNaru, NaruSasu, LightL, MelloNear, ItaSasu, SasoDei, GaaLee, KisaIta, KakuHidan, JuuSui, JuuSasu, SuiSasu, RoyEd, ZoroSanji, ZoroLuffy, KakaIru, OroKabu, OroSasu, KabuSasu, NejiNaru, ShikaNaru, ShikaCho, EdAl, EdEnvy, RenjiIchi, UryuIchi, and a bunch of others...Yeah. I know, I need help. But I doubt I ever will...Being crazily sick minded is fun! Which is why you all get invitations to Funk's Mind Land!! YAYZ!!
People I like:
Naruto: Gaara, Kiba, and Neji...I also love most of the Akatsuki. Also, I've been liking Sasuke more, recently..
Bleach: Grimmjow, Gin, Rangiku (why is she the only girl?)
One Piece: SANJI BITCHES!! (Though not as much in a fangirl way)
FMA: Roy, Al, Greed, Pride
Death Note: L, Near, Mello, Matsuda, Sidoh :P
OHSHC: Hikaru and Kaoru
Inuyasha: Er, Inuyasha...(A first, ne?)
Harry Potter: The Twins FTW, Sirius
Maximum Ride: Iggy, Gazzy
I also read a lot of "real books", you see. But I probably won't write fanfics for them...Well, maybe. I really like Fang/Iggy and Murtagh/Eragon...
I HEREBY PROMISE TO NOT MAKE ANY MARY SUE OCS (unless I kill them off painfully) OR MAKE ANY CANON CHARACTERS END UP WITH AN OC. Seriously. How many GaaraxMarySueRetardFaceIV fics are there? HONESTLY! I will not have any character I made up have any influence to the story. Unless, once again, I get a canon character to torture them...I guess. Idk.
I ALSO PROMISE TO NEVER MAKE SASUKE SEME! Sorry to all you SasuNaru fans, but NaruSasu is the real shit.
Overall: I am an avid anime fan, spend too much time destroying my already perverted mind on Fanfic, and a total Yaoi fangirl...Yup, my life in a nutshell
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!
Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other.
Most compatible with: Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke
What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.
~R.I.P Uchiha Itachi~
You will always live within our hearts.
Copy and paste this into your profile if Itachi's death affected you greatly.
Show the world how much you care.
RIP Deidara He will never be forgotten and will live on in our hearts. If you think this copy and paste this in your profile.
Copy and paste this message if you or someone you know is a Christian who is NOT homophobic.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Edward Cullen said that it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Copy & paste this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance that you thought impossible to choke on), copy & past this in your profile.
If you're obsessed with fanfiction, copy & paste this into your profile.
If you wished Anime Guys existed in the real world, Copy and Paste this onto your profile
THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!
1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Gaara,
2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? GAANARU! Also, NaruSasu, ItaSasu...and well--see a bit above.
3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Yaoi!!
4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? Yup!
5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: Posters, shirts, a bunch of random crap
6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? Gaara is my fav, but he's just not meant to be mine coughNaruto'scough Neji all the way!
7. NaruHina or KibaHina? Kibahina
8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Ugh, really?
9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai? Team Gai
10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) God, no.
11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Yeah?
12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? 'Tachi-chan, Deidei-chan, Saso-chan, Hidan-sama...
13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? I don't know anymore.
14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Yes...I hate fillers.
15. Have you read all the chapters so far? Yup
16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Really? Of course
17. Sub or dub? Both bitches!
18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? ANTI!!
19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Epic...until he turned out to be that Madara stupid face.
20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Of course not...(sarcasm)
21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? Lqtm
22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?8considers this while laughing evilly
23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Epic
24. Which character would be best OOC? Hm...'Tachi, maybe.
25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Really, now?
26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? scroll down
27. Do you like lemons? Sigh...yes
28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? Er, yeah.
29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? Hell yeah
30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? Totally
31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? Yup!
32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? Yup
33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' -ish...
34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? Probably
35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Not BROKE, per se...
36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? Probably
37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? Seriosly?
38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. ... Yeah...don't post most, though
39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? Too girly
40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Hell no
41. How was the fight between Sasuke and Itachi? HAHA! I loved 'certain' parts
42. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? Totally
Notice: To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please repost this into your profile:
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents I love another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Don't you just hate sterotypes? the bold ones relate to me!
Bold the ones that fit you
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN (part), so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy (ok, the crazy part may b a bit true...)
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I like ANIME so I MUST be a loner
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I'm CATHOLIC so I MUST be unacceptable of everyone
I’m BISEXUAL or BI-CURIOUS so I MUST be in a ‘phase’
I SLEPT with someone of the same gender so I MUST be homosexual.
I do THREEWAYS so I MUST be a hoe.
I was CHEATED ON so I MUST have deserved it.
I am a TOMBOY so I MUST be lesbian.
I am a girl who LIKES FOOTBALL so I MUST be a he-she
I am a WHITE/BLACK/NON-JAPANESE ANIME/MANGA FAN so I MUST wish I was Japanese.
I'm BAPTIST so I MUST be extremely close-minded
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (Homophobia sucks!)
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
I am a HAOLE so I MUST want to ruin the land
i act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
i LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE (or did disagree) with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless (If its a rape case or the mom may die...)
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.