Author has written 2 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.
Favorite Animal: Wolf
Favorite Color: Grey
Favorite Books: The Twilight Series, The Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series, and the Maximum Ride books.
Favorite Movies:New Moon, Blood and Chocolate, The First Underworld movie.
Favorite Music: Anything by Breaking Benjamin, Evenescence or Three Days Grace.
Funny Random Things...
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Yay for Equil Rights!!
A white man walks up to a black man sitting in a bar.The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
BEST FRIENDS 'N FRIENDS:
FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink
BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FREINDS:Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa
BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying MAN we screwed up
FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night
BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process
FRIENDS: Never see you cry
BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore
FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you
BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you
FRIENDS: Will say you can do better
BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying
BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: Will help you move
BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body
FRIENDS: help you up when you fall
BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbbutt?"
FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain
BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
FRIENDS: wipe your tears when you're rejected
BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail
BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number
BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later
BESTFRIENDS:Lose your stuff and tell you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell
BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)
BESTFRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his butt
FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail
BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song
FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house
BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you
FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you
FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover
BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders
FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them
BEST FRIENDS: Kick your butt and all's forgiven
FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine
FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone
FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"
BEST FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you
FREINDS: Will ignore this
BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.
You know you live in 2009 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
Man uses pickup line, girl answers.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Man: Can I have your name?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: I'm God's gift to women
Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
The Rules of Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin
32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous
37) I will not lick Trevor
38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey"
39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
18 thing to do in walmart:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting, "Pikachu! I choose you!"
17. When someone looks at you, stare at them & after a minute, smile.
18. Look up at the ceiling and see how many people look up optional: laugh at them after
9 Reasons Why I Hate Many People:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?
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