Irish KittyKat
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Joined 10-27-09, id: 2128346, Profile Updated: 09-19-10

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000.

That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'

'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

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Uncomfortable by Savannah-Vee reviews
Got 'Best Angst' mention in 'Slash Backslash' contest! 'The way he looks at me makes me feel...uncomfortable.' Jasper's girlfriend's brother, Edward, keeps staring at him. Why? Who knows. Seems like even Edward is confused...SLASH, AH, very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 90,377 - Reviews: 2993 - Favs: 1,570 - Follows: 1,848 - Updated: 10/21/2016 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Jasper, Edward
Mergers and Acquisitions by Touchstone67 reviews
When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Full length story for the second place winner in the Slash/Backslash Contest. Rated M, J/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 42 - Words: 647,177 - Reviews: 5106 - Favs: 1,813 - Follows: 1,394 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Jasper, Edward
Radio Edit by PinkHoodie85 reviews
Bella, an intern for a popular Radio Morning Show in South Florida, enlist the help of her co-hosts to help gain the self confidence to catch the eye of a certain bronze haired neighbor. AH Cannon Couples
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 89,575 - Reviews: 755 - Favs: 467 - Follows: 578 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep by bananapancakes7 reviews
Bella visits a quiet lodge in Forks and she meets the secretive, tormented Edward Masen. Just as their relationship transcends friendship, Edward's past comes back to haunt him in the most brutal way. B&E are human, but oh…there will be vampires. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 283,919 - Reviews: 5439 - Favs: 3,752 - Follows: 3,437 - Updated: 5/21/2012 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Bella, Edward
A Tangible Dichotomy by PerfectlyPersuasive reviews
Not everything makes sense to us at first, but sometimes, the paradoxes in life are exactly what we never knew we needed. When Jasper and Edward are thrown together, into a dorm room no less, who are they to deny the twisted logic of fate? AH/Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 33 - Words: 200,890 - Reviews: 3479 - Favs: 1,377 - Follows: 1,123 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Turn and Face the Strange by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Jacob Black's life is weird. Not only does he shift into a wolf, now he's fighting with his oldest friend over a guy and dealing with a bunch of vampires no one has been able to spot. M/M slash. AU. The Cullens are human. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 46,284 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 10/23/2011 - Published: 10/16/2011 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
Intangibilities by PerfectlyPersuasive reviews
Alternate outakes and extra bits from A Tangible Dichotomy. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,167 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 10/7/2011 - Published: 1/11/2010 - Edward, Jasper
Remnants by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Five years after the war, Draco receives a note from Harry that crushes him, and he starts to wonder just how damaged Harry truly is. Post DH, EWE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,125 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Tower by DisguisedasInnocent reviews
Based around the song The Tower by Vienna Teng, this story focuses on Bella's reaction to the Cullens' abandonment of her and their departure, and how Alice sees just how badly they broke the girl they left to protect. Alice/Bella pairing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,743 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 16 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Alice, Bella - Complete
The Eggnog Effect by bananapancakes7 reviews
Jasper's convinced that he's a little known blip on the object of his affection's radar, but an office Christmas party and a cup of a seasonal horrific favorite might just change everything. Js/E. Slash. Gift fic for ThatPanicGirlE for YuleTwi'd Gay.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,696 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 37 - Published: 1/2/2011 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Becoming Dean by kinkylittlered reviews
Sam has always been a spoiled rich kid, living with his distant father. On his 16th birthday Sam receives his new slave, Dean. Dean is meant to serve as only a sex slave but things quickly fall into confusing ground. Slash!
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,551 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Jasper Hale hates his high school rival Edward Cullen with a passion. What happens when Jasper discovers Edward's little secret? Spank!Fic. AH/AU/OOC. Rated M. Contains mature content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 91,100 - Reviews: 3577 - Favs: 2,611 - Follows: 1,468 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Flood Gates by kinkylittlered reviews
Sequel to Tidal Waves. Wincest! Dean finally returns to his brother, trying to rebuild their brotherly relationship while pushing away all of the pent up lust and self-hatred that has built since he ended his relationship with his brother.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,856 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Dean W., Sam W.
Let Them Talk by DisguisedasInnocent reviews
When Ron and Hermione get into an argument she knows the entire school is going to talk about the secrets that were revealed, but she can't find it in herself to care about the consequences.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,864 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/24/2010 - Hermione G., Pansy P. - Complete
Strapped by bananapancakes7 reviews
FOR THE AWKWARD CONTEST - Collab w/ queenofgrey - Some anniversary memories are meant to be scrapbooked. Some are meant to be scrapped, completely. Rated M for cringe-worthy situations, inappropriate language, & sex that is all kinds of weird.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,369 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 29 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Awaken Me With Your Kiss by Beryl Butterfly reviews
Bella's near death experience awakens her to the true source of her devotion and love in the Cullen family. How can she follow her heart without tearing apart her family? Bella/Alice yes this is femslash, you are warned.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,315 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 3/5/2010 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Mergers & Acquisitions One Shot by Touchstone67 reviews
When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Entry for Slash/Backslash contest. Rated M, E/J
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,273 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1/9/2010 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Rings by Phantasmagor1a reviews
Alice and Bella Cullen. They're both married, but they're not happy. Femmeslash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,682 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Getting Owned by Phantasmagor1a reviews
Frank and Gerard wanted to play Halo. Frerard one-shot. Credit to DarkenedHearts for Beta-reading.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/25/2009 - Complete
The Cop and the Addict by tuesdaymidnight reviews
Jasper only wanted to endure his court-ordered drug counseling. He never expected to have anything in common with his counselor Charlie, let alone a connection that might be just what he needs. "For the Love of Jasper" Contest entry. AU/AH/OOC, J/Ch Slash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,839 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Jasper, Charlie S. - Complete
A Very Merry Christmas by Beryl Butterfly reviews
A little mistletoe can go a long way toward making this season a merry one. Who gets a surprise they never saw coming, under the mistletoe? Just a little Belice Christmas fluff
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,826 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Alice, Bella - Complete