NightTeen
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Joined 11-07-09, id: 2139734, Profile Updated: 09-28-12
Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, and Night World series.

Hey, I'm NightTeen14161821

i am diagnosed with lazy author syndrome and the inability to not go a week with out getting in trouble and possibly grounded.

NightTeen's canon HP world

Lily Luna and Albus Severus are twins and both have green eyes.

Lily L and Teddy are meant to be just like Lily and James (and for the James haters it is a good thing to be in love like Lily and James are, they compliment each other perfectly and are the embodiment of true love except for the time of 'hating' James).

Lily L is exactly like Lily 1 in looks and traits but except for a disregard for rules, she is not like Ginny.

Lily 1 and James had their disagreements but Lily 1 is a great prankster and the marauders and had a fair share of prank wars h her.

Blaise Zabini is not a less blond version of Malfoy.

more will be added once i reveal the secrets in my reading the books story.

Likes

favorite color: purple or red

gender: female

b-day: Sept. 6

where i live: America

favorite bands: paramour, Tegan and Sara, Paramore The Beatles , One Republic, The Fray, Train

favorite movies: nightmare before Christmas, 2012, avatar, West Side Story, Harry Potter, Ghost Writer, among others

favorite books: mortal instrument series, night World series, inheritance cycle, my sister's keeper, change of heart, The Hollow, and many others

Favorite shows: NCIS, monk, psych, house, in plain sight, Bewitched, I Love Lucy, I Dream of Genie, Bones

Quotes and Funny sayings

if you don't like the way i drive, stay of the sidewalk.

im going to sit back and laugh when karma punches you in the face

life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.

When we were little, Why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

paper beats rock? ok, i'll throw a rock at you and you defend yourself with paper

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Whoever said SUNSHINE brings HAPPINESS ; Has never DANCED in the RAIN =D

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping!

Blondes may have more fun but brunettes remember it the next day.

When everything else fails, look cute.

Bad spellers of the world UNTIE

I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try to keep up!!

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

When nothing goes right, go left.

For the record most stories on my favorites list do not in any way agree with my opinions on some pairings and i don't condone other stuff, like cheating, incest or other stuff.

ATTENTION

it has come to my notice that apparently what i write or rant about in my profile is at odds with the stories in my favorite list, thank you for pointing this out, i hadn't noticed. Yes i have an on again off again hatred of twilight, but it is mostly the actual books and movies that i hate. I am actually quite fond off the concept, except for sparkling vampires, i know she needed to give them a reason not to go out in the sun but seriously, sparkles... dude how does that even make sense? Anyways, to clear up any discrepancies. Half the stories on my favorites are just ones i am planning on reading or want to keep tabs on to see how they play out a good percentage of them i really don't like that much(no offense to any writers truly, i don't put them in my list unless i like the writer and sometimes i just am not a big fan of the plot or there is too much lemon).

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

This is Bunny. Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

The clock is ticking for everyone, so screw caution and normal

who knows you might just die tomorrow, i for one would like to die doing what i want

Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!

'I wished upon a falling star to make me stronger. It came true because the next day I was able to stand while watching you walk away.'

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

Two wrongs may not make a right, but three rights make a left.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.

I’m not sleeping. I’m just looking at the insides of my eyelids

Hear no evil. See no evil. Make some evil

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

I am a fruit-loop in a world full of Cheerios.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

after a year in therapy my psychiatrist said "maybe life isn't for everyone"

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

With everything that you can do, the real question is what will you do?

Directions to Llama-land:
Left at the rainbow, Right at the unicorn. And if you've passed the penguin, you've gone too far.

heads or tails? heads: your mine, tails: im yours

When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party!

if payback's a bitch and revenge is sweet then im the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet

i know you're probably thinking...OH NO SHE DIDN'T! but i just totally did ;D

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned."

They say greener grass on the other side but its probably just artificial turf.

Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking"

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

"A word to the wise isn't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?"

"I forgot to remember."

"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

"As I said before I never repeat myself"

"Silence is golden but Duct tape is silver"

I see dumb people.

Tiny unicorns goring his bronchial tubes would be cooler.

I intend to live forever...so far so good!

Do vegetarians eat animals crackers?

Of course I'm talking to myself...who else can I trust?

Hug a tree: they have less issues than people.

Dear Santa, If you leave a bike under the tree I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk. Timmy

If you are a Vampire Addict, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

If you can't stand stupid girls, Copy and Paste this to your profile(they are so annoying)

If you LOVE JEZ REDFERN, copy and paste this to your profile

If you almost cried when Jez got staked, copy and paste this to profile ( LJ was genius to do that. such suspence!)

If you think Ash Redfern is Better then Jasper Hale, Copy and Paste this to your Profile(Hell Yeah!)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you think John Quinn is Better than Jacob Black, Copy and Paste this to your Profile(no contest)

If you think Rashel Jordan is Better than Alice Cullen, Copy and Paste this to your Profile(Rashel Rocks!)

If you think that Iliana Dominick could beat Rosalie Hales beauty by a mile, Copy and paste this to your Profile(And way less shallow)

If you think Twilight is getting way to famous, copy and paste this to your profile(seriously people there is a point when it is just TOO MUCH!)

If you think LJ smith deserves More credit for her Awesome work, copy and paste this to your profile(i mean twilight is way worse)

If you know who the hell i'm talking about, copy and paste this to your profile ( lol you will never know)

If you want fan girls to SHUT UP AND REALIZE EDWARD CULLEN IS NOT REAL AND STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR, copy and paste this to your profile(he sparkles and he is not that handsome dude)

IF you think Elena Gilbert looks a heck lot like Bella in The Vampire Diaries coming to CN this september, Copy and Paste this to your profile(i mean come on get your characters straight)

If you Can't wait for Strange Fate, Copy and paste this to your profile(we have been waiting too long! post if you agree too)

If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.(i have to be dragged away and i still get back on soon)

If you want little kids to stop screaming about Twilight every 2 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile

If you thing RashelX Quinn is better than AliceXjasper, Copy and Paste this to your Profile(Yes Way!)

If you think HannahXThierry is better than RosalieXEmmett, Copy and paste this to your profile(but of course)

If you think Night World Vampires are better than uh..Twilight ones, Copy and paste this to your profile(i mean vampires that SPARKLE, get real)

696 I'm evil, and twisted.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

lol; the perfect thing to type when there's nothing else to say.

It's funnier now that I get it.

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you don't have anything to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

Will eat for food.

By the time you read this, you've already read it.

This is Bob. (o.o)
Bob likes you. :)
Bob likes sharp things.
I suggest you run from Bob.

Practice safe lunch: use condiments.

We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.

They don't know that we know they know we know.

When life gives you lemons, keep them. 'Cause, hey, free lemons.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

I don't understand white crayons. Why are they here? What do they want from us?

What would happen if you put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room?

Please don't throw your cigerate butts on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.

The guy may wear the pants in a relationship, but the girl controls the zipper.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

It's a shame stupidity isn't painful...

Please, keep talking! I always yawn when I'm interested!

10 reasons to procrastinate: 1.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic.

CAUTION: Highly Awesome. Keep away from all UNAWESOME material.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone's unique in their own unique way. Therefore, being unique is not all that unique...

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Common sense is not so common.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

He would make a lovely corpse.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda.


ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

So what's the speed of dark?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station... If quitters never win and winners never quit- what fool came up with, "Quit

while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Why is round pizza in a square box?

Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies sleep for only two hours?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile( it is so sweet!)

If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If this doesn't touch you; you're heartless. This is so sad! One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies.The girl asked the guy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously the girl survived.Remembering the note,she pulled it out & read it, it said,"Without your love, I would die".(aaawwww!! you are heartless and have no soul if you do not feel for them)

a real boyfriend

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend."(definitely a real boyfriend!)

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Don't worry about the world ending today! It's already tomorrow in Australia!

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect to get it back.

"It's always in the last place you look." Well, duh! If you already found it, why would you keep looking?

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.

Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon!

Don't help old ladies across the street. Leave 'em in the middle!

Whose cruel idea was it for "lisp" to have an 's' in it?

"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you'd want to watch out for!"
- Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean 1)

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

If you die on an elevator, make sure you press the up button.

We're tighter than a fat guy in spandex!

Boy are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable!

Good friends say you can do better, but Best friends call him and say, "Seven days.."

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run; he hates that.

Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

Failure isn't an option; it's pretty much a certainty.

We can't all be heroes. Someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

Have you ever noticed that the words in therapist are actually The-rapist?

"Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God."

You Might Be a Blond If...

You tried to drown a fish.

Someone told you your cellphone died, so you buried it.

You look for something, only to realize it was in your hand the whole time.(damn, i must have blond roots)

You have complete faith in a doctor whose office plants have died.

You locked yourself in your own car.

You can't fix your brakes, so you make the horn louder instead.

You gave an ADHD kid markers.

You accidentally drowned because there was a scratch & sniff at the bottom of a pool.

You call someone to for help because your T.V. isn't working, only you realize it wasn't plugged up in the first place

What to say if a guy actually uses these pickup lines

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Women: Any where you aren't.

Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?

Women: Yes, that's why I stopped going there.

Man: Your place or mine?

Women: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?

Women: Do not enter.

Man: What do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and so will this one if you sit in it.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'u' and 'i' together.

Women: I'd put 'f' and 'u' together.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Hey, babe

Women:" me no speaky englesh" then turn around back to your friend and

Women: "So as I was saying"

Man:Do you have a map because i just got lost in your eyes

Women: Do you have a barf bag because I just looked into yours

The Difference Between Friends & Best Friends

Friends ask before they take food.

Best friends take food right off your plate.

Friends try to bail you out of jail.

Best friends are sitting right next to you, saying, "Let's do it again!"

Friends bring you a tissue to dry your tears.

Best friends have a shovel ready to bury the asshole who did this to you.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

"When life hands you The Jonas Brothers, throw them back and yell...

I WANT JOHN QUINN!"

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Hey i'm REALLY sorry but i'm REALLY scared of these so...yea.( warning do not read if you don't want to be scared)

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, dannychic2006, Starfire the Dragon, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Midnight's Maiden62,SweetXcandyX, NightTeen14161821

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Midnight's Maiden62,SweetXcandyXNightTeen14161821

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your p

Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy
.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted

Try Not To Cry:

read this poem:

mommy...johnny brought a gun to school he told his friends that it was cool and when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a great, huge crack.

mommy i was a good girl i did what i was told, i went to school, i got straight A's i even got the gold!

when i went to school that day, i never said good bye.

i'm sorry that i had to go, but mommy please dont cry, when johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another.

And all because johnny got the gun from his brother.

mommy, please daddy: that i love him very much, And please tell Zack my boyfriend that it wasnt just a crush.

And tell my little sister; that she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; i'll be waiting for her now.

And tell my wonderful friends; that they're always the best.

mommy; i'm not the first, i'm not better than the rest.

mommy tell my teachers; i wont show up for class, And never forget this, And please dont let this pass.

mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one though deserves this.

but mommy it's not fair i left without a kiss.

And mommy tell the doctors i know they really did try. i think i even saw one doctors trying not to cry.

mommy i'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, But mommy please remember i'm in heaven with the rest.

when i heard that great big crack i ran as fast as i could, please listen to me if you would.

i wanted to go to collage, i wanted to try things that were new.

i guess i'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo.

i wanted to get married i wanted to have kids.

i wanted to be an actress, i really wanted to live.

But mommy i must go now, the time is getting late.

mommy, tell my Zack, i'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you mommy i always have, i know you know it's true.

And mommy all i need to say is "mommy i love you"

that always makes me sad...

in memory of the cloumbine & virginia tech students who were lost:

please if you would,

dont smash this on the ground.

if you pass this on,

maybe people will cry,

just keep this in your heart,

for the people who didnt get to say 'goodbye'

now you have two choices,

1) pass this on and show people you care, repost as 'try not to cry'

2) dont send it and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
But I can't see you now.
There are other people and babies here, too.
They told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child?

If you're against abortion, re-post this

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that that god-forsaken idiot Trix rabbit should just go and buy his OWN Trix instead of stalking little kids like a pedophile post this on your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know someone who needs to get run over, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight or stairs.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then

KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and

put his hands around my waist and

give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

And we'd make out in the pouring rain.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,

and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years

and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night

just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,

who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART

-Jg Rox's story I want

I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol... put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile

If you copy and paste stuff onto your profile just because you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

(o)

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Twilight is getting way to famous, copy and paste this to your profile (OMG its EVERYWHERE!)

If you want fan girls to SHUT UP AND REALIZE EDWARD CULLEN IS NOT REAL AND STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think Night World Vampires are better than uh..Twilight ones, Copy and paste this to your profile (THE REDFERNS ARE DA BOMB!)

If you want little kids to stop screaming about Twilight every 2 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile (they never shut up!)

If you truely believe, there is a John Quinn or Ash Redfern or James Rasmussen or Morgead Blackthorn somewhere for you (doesn't mean his name has to be the same) copy this into your profile.

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and/or werewolves and would like to be one, copy and paste.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and/or werewolves and would like to be one, copy and paste.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever talked back to the tv, copy and paste this into your profile!

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe
in
God..

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If your against child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

I went to a party, Mom
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didnt drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.

Now Im lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own bloods all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

Im sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddys Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
Id still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
Im getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And Im so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.

one message: dont drink and drive!

A poem I am passing on about child abuse, I hope you pass it on too.

My name is Tiffany, I am three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,

I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made, My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me,

I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all, Or else im locked up, All day long,

When im awake im all alone, The house is dark, My folks aren’t home, When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get, One whipping tonight, I just heard a car,

My daddy is back, From Charlie’s bar, I hear him curse, My name is called,

I press myself, Against the wall, I try to hide, From his evil eyes,

I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry, He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault, He suffers at work, He slaps and hits me, And yells at me more,

I finally get free, And run to the door, He’s already locked it, And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall, I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream, But its now much to late,

His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape, The hurt and the pain, Again and again,

O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops, and heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor, My name is tiffany, I am three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me,

And you can help to stop this for others.

And if you read this and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be

One heartless person to not be effected

By this poem and because you are effected,

Do something about it! So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Find the Guy

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

.••) .•).•.•) .•)
(.• (.• Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

Remember when getting high meant swinging at the playground. The worst thing you could get from the opposite sex was cooties. Mom and dad were your heroes. Five dollars seemed like a million. Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over". Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were who ran the fastest. War was a card game. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly. The only drug you knew of was cough medicine and wearing skirts didn't mean you were a slut. Kool-Aid was the drink of choice and the only thing you smoked were the tires of your bike. The only thing that hurt was skinned knees and the only things that could get broken were your toys. Life was simple and carefree, but what I remember the most was wanting to grow up.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile

Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer!

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile.

ılı.--Volume--.ılı.: Min- - - - - - - - - - -Max

IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you enjoy things that ask you to copy and paste them into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile (Other than me? Hahaha)

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think air is a solid because you continously trip over it, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile

If you copy and paste stuff onto your profile just because you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s?_s_s _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ s _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s_.s_ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s_ (sorry girls only)
_s_s,
_s_s_..
_s._s ,
_._s .s_ ..
_._ s
_s_s_ s
_s_s_ s
_s._s_.s _
_s..s _
_s.ss _
_s
_ssssssssssss
_sss
_ss
_s_
_

You wished A) Jasper B) James C) Quinn was your Boy Friend then copy this onto your profile

How do you know you are addicted to Vampires ( not only from Twilight)

When you see blood you think of Jasper sucking it

When you see a dog you think of Jacob

when you hear the word or see a Lama you think if Lamia Vampires

When you see or hear about James Deen you think about James Russleman( is that how u spell it?)

When ppl ask you what super power you want you say Vampire or you say all the things a vampire can do ex: vampire speed

Night World Survey (lol i just used the Twilight one and made it into this xD)- copied from SweetXcandyX

Which book in the series is your favorite?

The Chosen

Who introduced you to the books?

No one really. just browsing the bookstore

Did you buy them, borrow them, or recieve them as a gift?

Buy. I have a thing for rereading books that are awesome.

Favorite human?

Rashel Jordan

Favorite vampire?

Ash Redfern and John Quinn (no duh)

Favorite werewolf?

Lupe(obviously since there is really only two)

What's one of your favorite quotes from the story?

What was your favorite Hannah/Thierry moment?

When Hannah stuck her finger in his mouth xD

What was your favorite Rashel/Quinn moment?

When They meet again in that room

What was your favorite Ash/Mary-Lynnette moment?

When she kicked him, i just burst out laughing, the great Ash Redfern felled by a human kicking his shin! lol

Which book cover was your favorite?

the one with jaz and morgead on the cover(the old one)

Who do like more: Quinn or Galen

QUINN!!

Thea or Blaise?

Blaise

Hannah or Rashel?

RASHEL!!

Keller or Iliana?

Keller

Gillian or Jez?

Jez

Iliana or Twilight's Rosalie?

Illiana, can barely stand Rosalie

Sylvia or Alice?

Sylvia, pretty cool and i just can't pick a twilight vampire over an nightworld one

Esme or Maggie?

Maggie

Mary-Lynnette or Rashel?

both

Shapeshifters or Vampires or Witches

All, but mostly vampire

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Caine is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

"don't question it, just live it and love it"

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you sometimes cheer for the bad guys, cause you feel sorry they never win. Crazy is when you hold a pool noodle above your head, sway it back and forth, yell 'mutant carrots' at the top of your lungs, and jump into the lake, not caring who is watching. Crazy is when you think Iggy is awesomer than Fang. Crazy is the state of mind sensible teens are in. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I'm only half evil. The other half is insane.

I'm such a genious. (Only good spellers will get the joke)

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on the table and/or hit your head on a shelf for no reason, put this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, add this to your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile.

If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, DON'T try skydiving.

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.

On a king size mattress: Warning, do not attempt to swallow.

An answering machine:"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."

Another answering machine:"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak
up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
BEEP."

My favourite answering machine: Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message

Yet another answering machine: Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

Famous last words:

No, these windows are fine to lean on.

I can pass this guy

Don't worry, the airbags work fine

So, you're a murderer. Who's your next victim?

This bomb was supposed to explode when I pushed the butto- BOOM!

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms. .

This doesn't taste right.

I can make this light before it changes

I believe I can fly!

Why won't the gun fire?Said while looking down the barrel and repeatedly pushing trigger

LOL. I love those jokes.

yesterdays tomorrow is today.

Fun things to do on an Elevator:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH one of the buttons and pretend it gave you a shock. Smile, and then go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) Permanent marker fight!
24) Hum the "Spy theam song" then Ninja role off the elovator when it gets to your floor, shouting "I've got you now my pritty."
25) Wait for someone else to get on then when the door closes wishper "I've been waiting for you." Then get off at the next stop.
26) Randomly start screaming "The voises won't go away!"
27) Dance in the corner singing along to the mucis playing on your I-pod like you didn't realise another person got on with you.
28) Pretend your roasting marshmellows and offer anyone who gets on with you a smore.
29) When people get on the elevator welcom them to Narnia and warn them to watch out for the white witch.
30.) ride up and down for no apperant reson just for the hell of it.

If you absolutely hate the Twilight movies and think they were horrible compared to the book and you just don't think Robert Pattinson is that hot so would you fangirls stop screaming in my ears...post this on your profile.

Fake friends borrow your stuff and then give it back
Real Friends keep your shit so long that they forget that it's yours

Fake friends will bail you out of jail and tell you what you did wrong
Real friends will sit next to you in the cell and say man we stuffed up but that was some laugh

Fake friends will leave you behind if thats what the crowd is doing
Real friends will kick that whole crowds ass for leaving you

Fake friends have never seen you cry
Real friends cry with you

FAKE friends borrow your umbrella
Real friends steal your umbrella and yell ' run bitch,run"

Fake friends will just scrol past this
Real friends will copy it just like i did


What a girl wants

i want a guy who i can run up to with my hair in a mess and in ratty clothes and tells me i'm beautiful
i want duvet days to be weekly
i want pms-ing to be medically recognised as a harmful thing
i want the worl to find out which is more painful giving birth or being kicked in the nuts
i want friends who can tell by looking at me that something is wrong

Guy: thats random as Shit
Grandfather: oh son you have that problem too, come on we'll get some prune juice

it's ironic for the first part of our lives our parents teach us to walk and talk
but for the rest of it they tell us to sit down and shut up

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask directions.

i have the kinda friends that if my house was on fire they would be roasting marshmallows and hitting on the firemen

i dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without the motives being questioned

i kissed a vampire and i liked it
i hope the Volturi dont mind it

dont worry about the people in your past theres a reason
they didnt make it into your future

my friends are the knda peole who will spend hours
trying to drown a fish

it's ironic that the word bullshit has the same amount of letters as
I love you

i'm the author of my own life
unfortunately i'm writing in pen and cant erase my mistakes

yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
today is the present and that is why it's called a
gift

homework kills trees
so save the trees
dont do homework

friends are like bras
close to your heart
but all about support


sarcasm; my anti drug.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
(i try not to hurt there feelings. lol. :)=. )

i speak fluent sarcasm.

Funny isn't it!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...


i have the type of friends that when a well known song comes on in a movie we all burst out singing
two minutes later someone will turn around and say
"Well that was odd"
I will never be able to listen to the Wannadies without cracking up laughing girl


Odd conversation (Not mine)

Paula:I'm on an exercise bike
Me:care to elaborate
Paula:about what
Me:the exercise bike
Paula:It's a bike which no matter how hard
you pedal it doesnt move
thanks for clearing that up Paula

Aran: So are you good friends
Me: Who me and the tooth fairy we go way back

Jessie: i bet world war two wouldnt of happened if hitler has blonde
Me: i know wat you mean
Jessie: like there wouldn't has been that weird mustache but like a beard
Me: yeah how much differen t would the world ould be today if no one did this raises hand the under nose
Jessie: i know
Me: this has been a eye opening conversation

who names their calculators
Apparently we do
Fredrick and Cecil are teh bomb (their the calculators)

Me: Cecil died
Nicola: who?
Me: the calculator
Nicola: oh hows Jessie holding up
Me: its a hard time for all of us

Quotes

Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare

(An angel statue has a sign that says "1234, NEPHILIM: FACILIS DESCENSUS AVERNI")
Jace: "That's the motto of the Nephilim - Shadowhunters - there on the base."
Clary: "What does it mean?"
Jace: "Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234."
Clary: "Jace-"
Jeremiah: "It means 'the descent into hell is easy'."
Clary: "Nice and cheery."
City of Bones, pg. 179

Clary: "It's so... dark."
Jace: "You want me to hold your hand?"
Clary: "Don't talk down to me."
Jace: "Well, I could hardly talk up to you. You're too short."
City of Bones, pg. 180

Clary: "So what's with the 'hey' thing?"
Simon: "What 'hey' thing?"
Clary: "The 'hey' thing that guys always do. Like when you saw Jace and Alec, you said 'hey', and they said 'hey' back. What's wrong with 'hello'?"
Simon: "'Hello' is girly. Real men are terse. Laconic."
Clary: "So the more manly you are, the less you say?"
Simon: "Right."
City of Bones, pg. 339

Dorothea: "Didn't I read your tea leaves, Shadowhunter? Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?"
Jace: "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
Dorothea: (roars in laughter) "At least you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
Jace: "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting."
City of Bones, pg. 345

Isabelle: "Wait. What did you say that name was? The one in Clary's head."
Jace: "I didn't. At least, I didn't finish it. It's Magnus Bane." (grins mockingly at Alec) "Rhymes with 'overcareful pain in the ass'."
Alec: (retorts into his coffee, something rhyming with "ducking glass mole")
City of Bones, pg. 197

Alec: "There she is." (waves Isabelle over) "Over here. Watch out for the phouka."
Jace: "Watch out for the phouka?"
Alec: "He pinched me when I passed him earlier. In a highly personal area."
Jace: "I hate to break it to you, but if he's interested in your highly personal areas, he probably isn't interested in your sister's."
Magnus: "Not necessarily. Faeries aren't particular."
City of Bones, pg. 237

Simon: "I, for one, am enjoying myself immensely."
Clary: "Mmm-hmm."
Simon: "I feel that this evening DJ Bat is doing a singularly exceptional job. Don't you agree?"
Clary: (rolls eyes and says nothing)
Simon: "Meanwhile, I wanted to let you know that lately I've been cross-dressing. Also I'm sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know."
City of Bones, pg. 6

Alec: "What's this?" (Looks from Clary to Jace and Isabelle)
Jace: "It's a girl. Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one."
City of Bones, pg. 12

Jace: “Are you still mad?”
Alec: “I’m not mad.”
Jace: “Oh, yes you are.”
Alec: “I am not. Just because you said dragon demons were extinct-“
Jace: “I said mostly extinct.”
Alec: “Mostly extinct is NOT EXTINCT ENOUGH.”
Jace: “I see. I’ll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from ‘almost extinct’ to ‘not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.’ Will that make you happy?”
City of Ashes, pg. 9-10

Alec: “How do you manage never to get mud on you?”
Isabelle: “I’m pure at heart. It repels the dirt.”
Jace: (wiggles muddy fingers at her) “Filthy inside and out.”
City of Ashes, pg. 10

Simon: “Rule number one of anime: Never screw with a blind monk.”
Clary: “I know. For some reason they’re always way better fighters than monks who can see. Are those guys dancing?”
Simon: “That’s not dancing. They’re trying to kill each other. This is the guy who’s the mortal enemy of the other guy, remember? He killed his dad. Why would they be dancing?”
City of Ashes, pg. 14-15

Simon: “I’m tired of this anime. I can’t tell what the plot is and no one ever has sex.”
Clary: “Of course they don’t. Anime is wholesome family entertainment.”
Simon: “If you’re in the mood for less wholesome entertainment, we could try the porn channels. Would you rather watch The Witches of Breastwick or As I lay Dianne?”
City of Ashes, pg. 16-17

Jace: “I take it that you don’t serve Silver Bullet here. Too many bad associations?”
Bat: “Actually, we don’t serve it because it’s really crappy beer.”
Jace: “And what are you drinking? A little hair of the dog that bit – well, everyone?”
City of Ashes, pg. 31-32

Luke: “He’s not in a very good mood. I shut him up in Freaky Pete’s office after he nearly killed half my pack with his bare hands. He wouldn’t talk to me, so I thought of you.” (Looks at Clary’s and Simon’s baffled expressions) “What?”
Clary: “I can’t believe he came here.”
Simon: “I can’t believe you know someone named Freaky Pete.”
City of Ashes, pg. 42

Jace: “I don’t want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.”
Luke: “Well, you’re doing a fantastic job.”
City of Ashes, pg. 45

If you are against stereotypes, copy and paste what is below, and what you are put in bold...

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm Irish so I MUST have a drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have a bunch of guy friends, so I MUST be having sex with them all.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual
.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare
.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

Copy and Paste it and bold everything that applies to you. STOP STEREOTYPING!! IT HURTS.

Odd Sayings (not me)

Jessie: My God Veronica
Me: does nobody find it odd we keep dead mice in the freezer
Becky: it's gonna die after ALL THE LOVE I GAVE IT (talking bout her phone people)
Matthew: Dale! (You would get it if you knew where we lived)
Aran: not a perv just a lad ( gender appreciation people right there)
Nicola: what's puterin? (we fixed that problem right away)
Paula: Grrrr (i wish she would use her people words)
Mam: i dont get this whole meeting thing (nobody does thats the point)
Kieran: How you doin ( i believe thats copyrighted by Joey though Rochie sorry)
Dad: Howdy everybody (lol Becky)
Audrey: whats that letter it comes after s but before u (would she not just ask us to make Tea)
Becca: Her man friend (her what?)
Me: (again) with Nicola: were making a hat collection
Lads from school: Boi Megan (lads it's obvious i'm a girl)


Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If ya can’t join ‘em, bribe ‘em.
If ya can’t bribe ‘em, blackmail ‘em.
If ya can’t blackmail ‘em, kill ‘em.
If ya can’t kill ‘em, you’re screwed


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.H.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a Bitch well a Bitch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong,

and Being Ourselves.


One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise

And ran to save the two dead boys.

And if you don't believe it's true,

Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.


You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'I need tampons!'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yoursef at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- if you don't ask no one can say no

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

- If trying fails cover up all evidence that you tried


25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day when you get your own house i'm going to come in and jump on the furniture, leave the fridge open, and mess with the thermostat!"

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "JUMP BITCH JUMP!! !!

93 of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, i'm one of the 7 that said "What was your first clue?"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

there are three kinds of people in this world, ones who can count, and ones who can't

They laugh because we're losers...
We laugh because they just figured it out.

A brunnett was walking back and forth from her house to her mail box. She made the trip over and over again. Finally her neighbor asked her what she was doing. She replied "My computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?

JOKE:

Okay so There were 3 guys trapped on a deserted island. They find a lamp and a genie comes out. He says they each get one wish. The first one says, I wish there was a bridge away from this place and be destroyed after im gone. Poof there was the bridge and his wish was gone. The second one says, I wish that I would be teleported back home. Poof he is gone and now back home. He third guy thought long and hard for a wish. Then he started to get loney so he says, Man I wish those guys were back here!


There was a man who was rich, staying at a really nice hotel. One day when he was walking home from work, there were three girls from seven to fifteen telling people that they would do anything for them to get paid. They were clearly poor and had no where to stay. The man asked them if they would do anything for him if he paid them twenty dollars each and the girls agreed. He gave his hotel card to the three girls and told them to go to his room and he would be there soon. While the girls went, he went out to buy buckets of ice cream and candy and movies for them to watch. He went back and the whole night he treated the girls to room service and sweets, playing games and watching movies. If you believe the man did the right thing and that there is good in everyone, copy and paste this into your profile

Thing’s I’m not allowed to do at Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.

4. “I’ve heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm in sharpie.

12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

9 REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life.

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. People are scared of you! It's brilliant, they give you stuff, and don't try to double cross you... and they give you free lollypops!

9. (Reason I joined) read reason #1... 'nuff said!

16 Ways to get detention at hogwarts

A: Act like a complete idiot.

B: Bake cookies

C: Count nifflers

D: Drowning Mrs Norris

E: Earn money

F: Free the pixies

G: Go to the bathroom

H: Hatch an egg

I: Infuriate the Headmaster

J: Join the festivities

K: Kill the queen of the ducks

L: Light up the world

M: Marry a hippogriff

N: Negotiate with the natives

O: Open the door for strangers

P: Pluck a chicken

Not to be attempted at hogwarts

1. Do not appear to be in trouble. (No offense to Harry Potter, but if he gets that saving people craze and tries to save you, you might end up dead.)

2. Never, and I repeat NEVER teach Peeves how to use the internet. (Who knows what blackmail photos and materials he has on everybody.)

3. Do try not to upset Hagrid.( He gets these depressions that only Dumbledore can get him out of and with the old guy dead, well you can see the problem there.)

4. When in doubt, do not ask Trelawney.(If by know you don't know that you're gonna get you're death predicted to you, you so have a problem.)

5. Please just don't even touch nevermind destroy any book belonging to Hermione Granger. ( Unless you want to spend your time in counselling, just ask Ron what happens when you upset the girl.)

6. Speaking of Ron, at chess just lose against him. (He needs the confidence boost.)

7. When someone looks very surprised, it is not respectful to say "Dude you look like you've just seen Dumbledore and Mcgonagall skinny dipping!" (With your luck Minerva might just be behind you.)

8. Even though you really, really, really want to hex Gilderoy Lockhart, don't. (He does have a lot of fangirls and they might get revenge by killing you.)

9. I know it is tempting to ask Aberforth exactly what the story with the goat was, but you defiantly should'nt. (Lets just say some secrets are best left untold.)

10. Do not under any circumstances throw Mad-eye a surprise birthday party. (Lets just leave it there and move on.)

11. Telling someone that they'll be swimming with the merpeople if they cross you should not be considered. (It's most likely they that they won't even understand the threat unless they're muggleborn.)

12. Practice makes perfect is all well and good, but the teacher's prefer it if you don't practice your spells on them. ( Although Snape does make an interesting tea cozy.)

13. Admiring Cedric Diggory is acceptable, jumping him in the middle of the great hall during lunch for what you consider a much needed snogging session might be frowned upon. ( Especially if he doesn't know you and his girlfriend is sitting next to him.)

14. Doing the can-can on the Headmaster's table is not permitted. (Even if you feel that the portraits are bored and in need of a good show.)

15. You may not tell Severus Snape that he is in fact a sexy beast in the middle of a potions class, now what you do in your private time is none of my bussiness, but hell there's children reading this. ( That and it may cause Harry and Ron to puke or Snape to die of heart failure for being referred to as such.)

16. Riding a thestral in the school hallway dressed as a skelleton in a black cloak and claiming you are the Grim Reaper here for the ghost of Binns is not acceptable. ( Though he will most likely not notice and continue with the lesson.)

17. Halloween is not the annual " Set something lose in the school to kill Harry Potter day." ( Honestly it is just to long to remember.)

18. During detention with Umbridge you are not permitted to use her quill to write "Umbridge wears a pink thong." ( Thats just desturbing.)

19. Teasing Hermione about snogging a guy who has had slugs in his mouth is rude. ( I'm sure she's trying to forget about that herself when snogging him.)

20. Lastly, teaching Grawp how to play fetch is just plain stupid. ( He might end up dropping a tree on you!)

21. Filling Minerva's sleeping quarters with red roses and pink cards from Filch may cause her to be absent from her lessons due to developing a fear of running into Filch on her way to class. (On second thought that would mean a free period.)

22. Turning the school hallways into a winterwonderland of snow and claiming snow-days would be a waste of time. (Since wizards could vanish the snow, although snowboarding in the hallways before the snow is fanished would be a good form of entertainment.)

23. Sending the headmaster a nice pair of socks for Christmas is a nice gesture. (Sending along matching lingerie might have him draw the wrong conclusions.)

24. Writing to Walburga Black that her youngest son, Regulus, has just been sorted into Hufflepuff could cause her to be hospitalized due to a maniac episode. (Personally I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing.)

25. Sending Bellatrix Lestrange fanmail may cause a few Hogwarts students to try and murder you in your sleep. ( That or she might do it herself anyway, either way your srewed.)

26. While this may be helpful to do it is probably not polite to yell at the top of your lungs! Here Comes the Resident Stalker! Everytime Colin Crevey starts in with his hobby of taking photos of everything and everybody. (Thanx for this one by Fallen Angel)

27. Running to knock the trolls leg over everytime you see Tonks enter the room is not helpful. (It's just causes a lot of noise, and claiming that its too spare time is not an excuse.)

28. Telling people who seem to be a bit paranoid that they're most likely channeling Mad-eye and offering to make them an appointment with Trelawney's inner-eye is not a good idea. (One of these days one of those people will be channeling Mad-eye and hex you on the spot.)

29. While it may promote house unity it might not be a wise idea to wear a badge of this or any sort 'Slytherpuff and PROUD!
(Thannks again to Fallen Angel)

30. Spreading rumours about Harry and Gabrielle's love affair will make Ginny kill you in vicious and cruel ways. ( If these rumour's are in fact true you might have time to escape while she is killing her ex-boyfriend and sister-in law.)

31. Booking your students a room next to Lockharts in the spell damage ward is not a suitable punishment. (It may cause them to lose their sanity and then take out revenge on you with the help of a chainsaw.)

32. Turning your students into animals is only exceptable if said student is a cowardly idiot. (This said you should try not to get caught by other more responsable teachers.)

33. Being Headmaster or Headmistress of the school does not make it ok to go streaking through the halls and singing I am beautiful at the top of your lungs. (Exspecially in broad daylight right after students have had they're breakfast.)

34. Do not encourage the Ravenclaws to stand up for themselves and get others to support they're believes. (They may all look like innocent bookworms, but with more self confidence they might have the potention to rule the world!)

35. Teachers are to be an example for the students, therefore relationships with other teachers are not advised. (Plus seeing Flitwick and Mgonagall snogging would be akward and may cause permanent eye dammage.)

36. Acting like you are the best thing since self-inking quills will cause memmory charms to backfire on you. (A broken wand will be required.)

37. Understand that telling a child to not do something will result in him/her doing it. (Never tell the kids to not jump of the Astronomy Tower without a broom. They do not have any commens sense and you will end up with death of a minor on your record.)

38. Threatening the Weasley twins is not a good career move. (They will torment and annoy you until they graduate and then open a jokeshop so that other children can continue doing this.)

39. Raising dangerous animals at the school is defiantly a stupid thing to do. (It may love you, but its children will come back to bite you in the ass.)

40. Lastly, being a teacher is hard work, the disrespecting students, long working hours and many pranks that will be pulled on you. In the end though it is rewarding, you get to see children grow up to most likely srew up they're own lives. (For this I can only say, maybe you should change your profession.)

41. Food fughts are not encouraged. (Especially if Hagrids rock cakes are on the menu.)

42. Arguing with Luna is pointless. (Afterall she has the power of the crumple horned snorclack on her side.)

43. There does not exsist a class on the art of seduction. (And flirting with Filch is not for extra credit, mind you no one would do extra credit.)

44. Feeding the Giant squid food that gives him gass is a bad idea. (No matter how much you want the lake to be a jacuzzi)

45. The three D's of apparation does not stand for Doing Dirty Deeds. (Enough said.)

46. Telling your teachers that a hippogriff ate your homework is dumb. (Having said hipporgriff severely injure you will get you out of homework much longer.)

47. For boys- asking Professor Sprout for points o how to plant your seed is rude. (It may also get you a detention or a date with said teacher.)

48. Going around proclaiming your alligence to the powerful and Evil almighty destroyer of worlds, the one and only Helga Hufflepuff, will cause people to send you to a mentel institusion. (Again this is a good way to skip class, and I hear the food there is great!)

49. Asking your food for permission to eat it is wrong. (Just because its a magical world does not mean the food lives.)

50. Also, your classes are important so do try to pay attention. (Unless you have one of the following problems - boring teachers or lessons, gits for teachers or classmates, weird teachers who predict your death or will most likely get you killed and when the lesson actually require any work. In these circumstances you are allowed to ditch class and cause mayhem.)

51. Using first year gryffindors and slytherins as Christmas decorations will not be seen as getting into the spirit of things. (Even if they do look good hanging from the ceiling.)

52. Asking Lee Jordon what ever happened to the tarantula he had in first year is not advised. (Its a very sensitive issue.)

53. Using a timeturner to go back in time and go oon four different dates at ones is a very bad idea. (Your dates will find out and you will end up in a body cast!)

54. Chocolate should not be considered a form of bribary towards proffessor Lupin. (Don't forget he stil has that devious marauder mind.)

55. Using an appointment for tea with Aragog as an excuse to go into the forbidden forest will not be effective. (It will earn you a detention or a death threat from said Spider.)

56. Going around telling people that you are the reincarnation of Merlin will not count in your favour. (Unless you know very advanced magic, a few people will be out to kill you.)

57. Asking the ghosts for interesting new recipe's is an idiotic thing to do. (Their food sucks and it might be insulting towards them.)

58. Saying that Salazar Slytherin was a cute and cudley guy who only wanted to spread love in the world will have bad consiquences. (It may cause him to rise from the grave and destroy you.)

59. Joking about people's lame deaths is a terrible thing to do. (What if your death turns out to be the lamest of them all.)

60. Peeves has feelings that should be respected. (Making fun of him will cause your daily life to be disrupted and for you to never have another moment of peace... EVER AGAIN.)

61. Trying to prove that the Hogwarts motto is in fact wrong is a very idiotic idea! (Instead start by trying it out on Snape, his temper might match that of a dragon.)

62. Showing different fantasy books to magical creatures and insisting that they look wrong will have bad conclusions. (Some might get offended if their descriptions are uglier than they are.)

63. Showing up for your O.W.L.s covered in feathers and wearing a plastic beak will result in a failed grade. (Claiming that you didn't know the O.W.L. stood for ordinary wizarding level and simply thought this was some school play like in the muggle world, will not help the situation.)

64. Asking Hagrid if he's ever considered bringing the dinosours back from extinsion through magic might not be a wonderfull idea. (We don't want him protesting in front of the ministry, he might look crazy since its just a closed shop.)

65. Telling the Daily Prophet that you could give them the inside scoop and then proceding to send them ice cream scooped by the house-elves in Hogwarts will not be good for you. (You will maybe get sued!)

66. You should never use your potion cauldron to bath your cat. (Especially while your brewing a potion, it would be considered animal cruelty.)

67. The Herbology class is not the wild and you are not Dora the Explorer. (The plants ARE NOT cute little harmless flowers.)

68. Spreading rumours that you are now the proud father of four baby pixies will cause curious and disgusted looks from everyone. (Especially if you are female.)

69. Don't tell the security Trolls that teachers taste just like pudding. (It would cause an uproar and cause the staff to ask for pay raises.)

70. The last rule of all is to never under any circumstances break these rules! (Unless for pure enjoyment and if you are prepared to lie, cheat or blackmail you're way out of the punishment!)

things each Harry Potter character should have done

Ron Weasly

He should have had his revenge for the teddy bear incident.

He should have stood by Harry with the Triwizard Tournaments start

He should have taken the healer who said he hadspattergroit's advice

He should get over his jealousy and stop acting like a little light sided Malfoy.

Hermione Granger

She should have made a better first impression on Harry and Ron

She should have done something when Malfoy called her a mudblood the first time

She should have done more than just hit Malfoy in their third year

She should have handled the S.P.E.W. thing differently

She should never have made George Hugo's godfather

Harry Potter

He should have opened that letter in the kitchen

He should have handled the Yule Ball better

He should have realized Ginny is a celebrity crazy fan and doesn't and can't love the real him

He should have asked Dumbledore an important question when he last saw him

He should never have taught a two year old James how to fly a broom

Albus Dumbledore

He should never have told Harry that he wanted socks

He should have not believed the prophecy

He should not have locked Sirius up in Grimmauld Place

He should have taught Harry oclumancy himself

He should have gone out and killed voldie instead of making an innocent 17 year old become a murderer

Ginny Weasely

She should have known better than to trust that diary

She should have used the information about love potions that she got from her mum's stories

She should have taken revenge on Cho Chang

She should have gotten over her pathetic celebrity crush

She should never have named her son James Sirius Potter

Minerva McGonagol

She should never have left Harry at his aunt and uncle’s house

She should have shown Delores Umbridge who the Top cat at Hogwarts is

She should have handled Harry’s career choice interview differently

She should have never let Hagrid get Fang as a pet

She should have resigned ages ago

HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl kicked out of her home, because I confided in my mother I'm a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets, because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself weeks before graduating high school.
It was just too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us because she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not even allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until somebody told me only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't always have to deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to the fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson".

THAT'S MESSED UP! IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG REPOST THIS.

51 ways to annoy Remus Lupin

1) Follow him around and keep asking the same stupid question no matter what answer he gives.

2) Follow him around chanting, “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Remus stole the cookie from the cookie jar!”

3) Give him nicknames that are unrelated to his real name. Ex: Paul. Joe. Han Solo. Teddy Bear. Freddie.

4) Ask loudly where babies come from. Keep asking him even if he claims he won’t tell you.

5) On the off chance he gets frustrated enough to tell you where babies come from (previously mentioned on number 4), look offended and claim he’s not taking you seriously.

6) Whenever he’s done saying something snigger and say, “Yeah, like well ever believe that!” very sarcastically.

7) Poke him at random moments, and don’t give him a straight answer as to why you are doing it, either.

8) Laugh at any and all plans he comes up with.

9) Follow him around and tell people that he learned everything he knows from you.

10) Whenever anyone asks you about him say proudly, “Were all very proud of him- all of us in the insanity response unit, that is- we just got him potty trained, too.”

11) Tell Kingsley that Remus has a crush on him. Claim that there is hidden poetry in his room if he looks hard enough. Make sure Remus hears these claims. His reaction to this news will certainly start quite a few new rumours.

12) Go over to his house at the full moon and eat his entire hoard of chocolate in front of him.

13) Try to get him to sing girls just want to have fun by Cyndi Lauper

14) Point and laugh at him whenever he passes you.

15) Say bad things about him before he passes out of earshot.

16) Try to get him to start a conga line.

17) Clearly in view, smack yourself on the head with something hard, then throw it by Remus and claim loudly that he has wounded you.

18) Kick him in the shins at random moments when he is not looking; then run away.

19) Tell Tonks that you heard him say that he expected her to be prettier when he found out she was a metamorphagus.

20) Wake him up early in the early hours of the morning with a bucket of water. Cold water.

21) Put his hand in warm water while he’s sleeping.

22) Cut his hair while he’s sleeping.

23) Take his stuff and hide it.

24) Go up to him and tell him you’ve done something to something in his room. See how long it takes him to work up the nerve to brush his teeth again (in fear you’ve dipped his toothbrush in the toilet).

25) Walk up to him and say, “Man, it feels good to be a hamster,” and walk away with no explanation.

26) Laugh at him in general.

27) Dye his hair rainbow colours by any means possible. See if he screams.

28) Make a comment about how he’s putting on a little poundage and see if he still continues to eat regularly.

29) Get him a puppy for Christmas. Claim that since he’s always wanted one, you finally raised the bar, from a hamster to a dog.

30) Get him a Chihuahua as the aforementioned puppy.

31) Spread outlandish rumours about him. (Ex: Yeah, I’ve heard he’s even dated a death eater. Or: I heard that to get out of a muggle prison once, the guards made him dress up as a girl and pout.)

32) Show up in his room before he goes to bed with warm milk and a lullaby in mind to help him sleep.

33) Mimic him in an especially childish way whenever he speaks.

34) Continue to ask why he isn’t as cool or good-looking as Sirius.

35) See how many rounds of ‘100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall’ he can take before he swears and draws his wand.

36) Claim 35 was you testing his mental endurance. Claim he failed spectacularly.

37) Whenever you discuss Remus' strange behaviour around you with others, always refer to him as she.

38) Replace all his clothes with dresses (or any other clothes that are obviously intended for a woman).

39) Replace all his weapons with hand made replicas you made with construction paper and glue, maybe even with tape (to give it a shinier look!).

40) Scream the name, “FRODO!” at him and then look disappointed when he doesn’t react. When he asks what a Frodo is, refuse to tell him because he didn’t recognize his Sam.

41) Tell him, “The cat crows at dawn and the horse screams at noon,” and see how he reacts to this little bit of randomness.

42) After you’ve finished telling him something, you must add (no matter what!) But it’s just a rumour. (Ex: Kingsley told me to tell you that you guys are leaving tomorrow, but it’s just a rumour.)

43) Tell him you’re leaving to see if he cries out of sheer joy.

44) See if he attempts to be polite about you saying you’re leaving (43-above) and tries to say something like too bad, or, I’ll miss you, or, You simply must write, or, Send me a postcard!

45) Make up his own theme song and sing it whenever he enters the room, or triumphs, or walks, or eats, or something, anything at all.

46) (In relation to 45) When he threatens to cut out your tongue if you continue to sing his theme song, smile say, “Oh all right,” and begin to hum it.

47) Offer him gum from one of those trick packs (you know, the ones that shock you or snap your fingers with a mini mousetrap).

48) Play knock and run at his bedroom door. When he inevitably refuses to answer, open the door, step in and holler “Honey! I’m hooomme!”

49) Scream, “You dropped your pocket!” whenever he’s duelling on the practice courts.

50) (In relation to 49) Give him your best, plastic-fake, commercial, poster-boy smile and say, “Great job you did on the practice courts today, even though you got hit on the head twice. Oh, by the way, you dropped your pocket.”

51) (In relation to everything on this list) When he tries to attack you and must be forcefully restrained, sigh and say, “I always said he was insane. I’ve known it for years,” even if you’ve only met him last month.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4586113/1/

above is the link to read the story in case some don't make sense.

there are few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away'

'if is not enough to succeed; others must fail'

'you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me'

'stupidity killed the cat, curiosity just got blamed'

'You know what! Earth sucks. I'm going home!'

'Knowledge is power, and power is the root of all evil. So study to be evil!'

'As I said before, I never repeat myself'

'I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I would take over'

'You gotta do all that family crap. Ya know why? Cause someday they just might hit the lottery'

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

2. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.

4. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

8. Yell out what is going to happen.

9.Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

13. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

17. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

19. Try to start a wave.

20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

23. Sing with the theme music.

24. Bring and use your own air freshener.

25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

34. Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

35. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

40. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

41. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

42. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

43. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

44. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

45. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

46. Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

47. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

48. Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

49. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

50. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

51. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

52. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end

If Joe Jonas (or any Jonas Brother) dies
90 of girls will die too,
5 would scream,
if you’re one of the 5
who will throw a big party
in celebration of his death,
copy and paste this on your profile

95 of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building.
4 would yell JUMP.
If you are the 1 that would push him, copy this and paste it and put it on your profile

Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-" :Fred and George, PS. I love that quote.

"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge.":Gred and Forge. PS.

"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?"
"Throw it away and punch him in the nose," suggested Ron. :Ron. PS.

"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - "
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum.":Fred and George. PS.

“Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me,” said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with a piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just bought him. :Vernon Dursley. PS.

"Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..." :Fred and George. COS.

"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent. :Fred and George. POA.

Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight." :Ron. POA.

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself.":Fred. POA. lol. I've always loved that bit. Poor Oliver.

"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. 'According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me...' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now.":Ron. GOF.

Ron: "I could've taken those mer-idiots any time I wanted."
Hermione: "What were you going to do, snore at them?":Hermione. GOF.

"Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.:Ron. GOF. That one always makes me start giggling.

"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.:Harry. OOTP.

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione.:Hermione. OOTP.

"You don't mind if we don't kiss you, do you, Ron?" said Fred in a falsely anxious voice.
"We could curtsy, if you like," said George. :Fred and George. OOTP.

"I'm very well indeed, thank you!" said Lockhart exuberantly, pulling a rather battered peacock-feather quill from his pocket. "Now, how many autographs would you like? I can do joined-up writing now, you know!":Gilderoy Lockhart. OOTP. lol. Good old Lockhart.

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor." :Harry. HBP.

"Oh, there you are, Albus," he said. "You've been a very long time. Upset stomach?"
"No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines," said Dumbledore. "I do love knitting patterns.":Dumbledore. HBP.

"Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.": Ginny. HBP.

If his brain was made of electricity, he'd be a walking blackout.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have film.

Some people are like slinkys...pretty much useless but still fun to push down the stairs.

Don't drink and drive, you might spill the the drink.

I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemies told you this?

Don't hit kids! No seriously, they have guns now.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute screw the fruit.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

How can I love you if you won't lie down?

Do not Disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.

If you think High School Musical is evil,and brainwashes little kids,copy and paste this in your profile. (Notice how it's in bold)

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade!

When in doubt, make up words!

Don’t mess with me- I’ve got a stick and I’m not afraid to hit you with it.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip ‘n slide.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

I don’t suffer from insanity- I enjoy every minute of it.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

There's nothing wrong with taking to objects, it's when they start talking back that you need to worry.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World,Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out. (i still have a bunch of Beanie Babies)
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Hogwarts Rules

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda

- I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

- The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it.

- It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

- "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

- Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

- I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs

- The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife

- I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!

- So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead.

- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret

- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

- Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July...

- Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

- I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office

- I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

- Especially not with kazoos.

- The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

- Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden.

- There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".Even if I do conjure him up.

- Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

- The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

- Especially in reference to Dolores Umbridge.

- I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins.

- I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

- I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me."

- Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas.

- No combination of these is acceptable.

- Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

- Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

- I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.

- I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever.

- If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change.

- I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.

- I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.

- I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. – Anon.

'When life hand you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!'

"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon.

"Friends are God’s apology for relatives.” – Anon.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Anon.

Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in?
She: You wear pants, don't you?

He: Can I invite you a drink?
She: I'd rather you gave me the money.

He: Can I have this song?
She: All yours.

He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them nearly as much.

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

Things that make you feel good:

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

bad pick up lines

it must be illegal to look that good.

it's gotta be illegal to use pick-up lines that bad

When God made you, he was showing off.

When God made you, he was pissed off.

I must be a snowflake, ‘cause I’ve fallen for you!

It’s summer

If you were a basilisk, I wouldn’t mind dying just to look into your eyes.

If I were a basilisk, I wouldn’t mind killing you with just my eyes.

Did it hurt?

Did what hurt?

When you fell from Heaven? Did it hurt?”

Well, actually… I think I have this horrible bruise forming on my arse – and it hurts like hell. Will you please check it out for me?

Really?

No.

Hey

Yeah?

Cupid called me. Just now.

… O-kay. Really? Err, what did he say?

He told me to tell you that he needs my heart back.

stares Hey

Yeah?

The Hospital Wing called.

…And?

They asked me to tell you that they need their patient back

Y

ou know, the voices in my head, they told me to come over here and talk to you.

Oh, did they now? Weeeellll, the voices in my head told me to tell the voices in your head to get lost.

I must be in Heaven ‘cause I’m standing next to you.”

“I must be hell ‘cause I’m standing next to you.

have you got any raisins?”

“Nope.”

”Then how about a date?

“You should check the kitchen.

50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do

1) Pretend that Lily is his deodorant and attempt to rub her clothes all over himself.

3 Tell the first years that Hagrid is an evil giant and that he will eat all of them up.

4) Sing ‘I’m Too Sexy’ whilst wearing a bright pink tutu and ballet shoes.

6) Blow loud raspberries to drown out the voice of someone disagreeing with you...

7) ... and do not cease until they walk away in a strop.

8) ‘Accidentally’ turn Petunia into a horse when he is invited to Lily’s house at Christmas.

9) Ruffle his hair when Lily is around.

10) Ruffle his hair when attempting to get out of trouble.

11) In fact, James Potter is not allowed to ruffle his hair at all. End of.

12) Tell Hagrid that Fang was eaten by Aragog.

13) Paint/draw faces on hundreds of grapes...

14) ... and then throw them at Sirius’ supposedly evil army of pears.

15) Stroke his imaginary moustache when attempting to tell McGonagall why exactly he was found wanking in a broom cupboard.

19) Reply with ‘Huh?’ when asked if deaf.

20) Change the password to the Slytherin Common room to ‘Gryffindor Rules’.

21) Loudly tell the common room whenever Lily gets a new bra...

22) ... and then proceed to explain how it looks, the size, the colours and his opinion of it.

24) Charm a thousand shampoo bottles to follow Snape around, throwing themselves as his head...

25) ... and then claim that a potted plant told him to do it.

26) Tell everyone that Snape is the illegitimate child of Professor Sprout and Professor Dumbledore...

27) ... and when asked about the blatant differences in the genes and looks, simply state ‘glamour charms are extremely easy, you know’.

28) Burst into tears and run out the room wailing, ‘Noooo, I broke a nail!’ after picking up a fork.

29) Dress up as a pirate...

30) ... and then attempt to steal Gryffindor’s sword...

31) ... and then kidnap Lily...

33) Attempt to slide down all the banisters in Hogwarts.

34) Draw a twirly moustache on the face of the Fat Lady in permanent marker...

35) ... and then proceed to do the same to every other portrait in the castle.

38) Wear Lily’s uniform and make up...

39) ... and then tell Dumbledore, whilst sobbing hysterically, that Filch is a pervert and that he made him dress up like this.

43) Pour gravy on Sirius’ cereal.

45) Begin all sentences with ‘Ooh la la!’.

46) Tie bells to all his clothes.

47) Repeat everything someone says, but as a question.

48) Start each meal by licking all his food and then announcing that he did this so that no one will ‘swipe his grub’.

50) Wonder around the great hall, asking the other students for their carrots.

50 Things Sirius Black Is Not Allowed To Do

1) Sing ‘Baby Got Back’ at the top of his lungs dressed in a tight leather mini-skirt.

4) Give Remus a makeover while he is asleep.

9) Buy Remus a flea collar and then attempt to strangle him with it.

10) Encourage first years to make friends with the Whomping Willow.

11) Paint a regular golf ball gold, glue wings to it and then replace the snitch with it.

12) Transfigure Remus into a puppy and name him ‘Squishy’

13) Introduce an official ‘Hug a Slytherin Day’.

18) Convince Remus that all the books in the library have been stolen and that it is closing down.

19) Tell everyone that James’ mum looks like Voldemort.

22) Tell first years that Filch regularly abuses his cat.

23) Tell First years that Filch is the Voice of God.

24) Ask Professor Flitwick if he knows where Snow White lives.

25) Pop a balloon in the middle of one of Dumbledore’s speeches.

26) Squirt ketchup on his forehead and then tell Remus he fell off of the Astronomy Tower.

29) Tell people that it’s Remus’ Time of the Month when he tells First Years off for breathing too loudly.

30) Try to beat James to death with a napkin.

31) ...or a pillow.

32) Ask Professor Sprout to marry him at dinner...

34) Draw faces on pieces of fruit and then carry them everywhere, claiming that they are his evil minions and that together they will take over the world.

36) Set Lily’s hair on fire to see whether there is any difference between her hair colour and the fire.

39) Attempt to break a glass over Lily’s head if she spends more than three hours with Remus in the library.

43) Put hundreds of rabid skunks in Snape’s dorm...

44) ... and then state that Snape simply shouldn’t have left the window open.

80 Things Fred And George Weasley Are Not Allowed To Do
by Molly Weasley, mother of the worst troublemakers in Hogwarts/the wizarding world/the whole world.

2) Yell ‘Furball!’ every time McGonagall coughs.

3) Put bright pink frilly bows in Lee Jordan’s hair.

4) Put Lee’s tarantula in Ron’s bed.

5) Actually blow up a Hogwarts toilet seat.

8) Shave Mrs Norris bald...

9) ... and then claim that they were doing her a favour.

10) Send Dolores Umbridge thousands of models of Centaurs.

11) Interbreed a dragon and a cat...

12) ... no matter how wicked the results may be.

14) Hide dairy products in inaccessible places...

15) ...such as their underwear drawer...

16) ...or on the roof.

17) Paint the house elves blue.

18) Brandish a fork and yell ‘Death be upon you!’ when threatened.

19) Tell everyone that Snape is Voldemort’s illegitimate child...

20) ...and then claim that Snape’s mother is in fact male... (even though that is biologically impossible...)

21) ...and that therefore, Voldemort is gay.

22) Tell Snape to schedule a hair cut for the Dark Lord.

23) Tell the ministry that Draco Malfoy is a ferret Animagus.

24) Wear capes that say ‘Magnificent one’ on them.

25) Psycho analyse Professor Snape...

26) ...and announce to the school that Snape is not depressed

28) Claim that they are mutated goats.

29) Use the Marauders Map to stalk first years.

30) Attempt to eat Mrs Norris...

31) ...or Trevor...

32) ...or Scabbers...

33) ...or Hedwig.

34) Feed Crookshanks to Aragog.

35) Tell first years that what they are eating is really fried owl.

36) Swap Gilderoy Lockheart’s shampoo with blue food colouring.

39) Pour mouthwash in Dumbledore’s pumpkin juice at breakfast.

40) Tell everyone that Professor Lupin has rabies.

41) Shave off their eyebrows...

42) ...draw a unicorn on their foreheads...

43) ...and when someone asks why there is a unicorn on their heads, reply by asking them why there is a duck on theirs.

46) Point at random people and burst into laughter.

47) Ask people what gender they are.

48) Bring two puppies to breakfast and then claim that they are Professor Lupin’s cubs.

49) Pretend they are deaf/blind/mute.

50) Throw stones at passing teachers.

51) Give Umbridge a toad for Christmas.

52) Tell everyone that they are descended from Merlin.

53) Bark like a dog whenever someone says the word ‘the’.

54) Throw Dumbledore’s lemon drops out of a window.

55) Shave off Dumbledore’s beard and eyebrows.

56) Ask Professor Lupin where babies come from...

57) ...and carry on bugging him when he refuses to say anything.

58) Dip Snape’s toothbrush in the toilet.

59) Bring the Giant Squid as a date to the Yule Ball.

60) Use house elves as replacement bludgers.

61) Tell Professor Trelawney that she will die next week when a grand piano falls on her head...

62) ...find a grand piano and then attempt to actually drop it on her head.

64) Build up an army of rabid frogs...

65) ...and claim that together, they will take over the world.

66) Introduce Professor Trelawney to fortune cookies...

67) ...and bewitch every fortune to say ‘beware the bunny in the neon pink tutu’...

68) ...and then dress up as two bunnies in neon pink tutus.

69) Ask Professor Lupin relentless irrelevant questions about werewolves...

71) ...whether werewolves can be trained to play fetch...

73) Tell first years there is a campsite in the Forbidden Forest and that everybody goes there.

74) Announce to the whole of Hogwarts that Professor Lupin is a werewolf slayer.

75) Give Snape a lion cub for his birthday.

79) Beat Percy to death with a teddy bear.

80) Chase first years around the castle threatening to kill them with a spoon.

Why America has some issues (One thing that America DIDN’T screw up-this list)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the drivewayand put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Favorite Sayings:

1. Part of loving someone is knowing when to let them go...

2. All that glitters is never gold

3. The worst sicknesses aren't malaria or swine flu...it's the feeling of being unwanted.

4. Sometimes you have to fight...sometimes you have to give up...but sometimes it will work out on their own.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

If guns don't kill people, then can I blame all my misspells on my pencil?

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Oh, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.

If you're going to be two-faced sweetie, at least make one of them pretty!

Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Welcome to the internet! Pants optional.

The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.
A simple friend sleeps in with you until 2 in the afternoon. A real friend screams, "WAKE UP, FREAK!" in your ear, while laughing hysterically at 8:00 in the morning.

What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It‘s a guy thing"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to "
"I have no idea how it works."

"I cant find it."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

10 Ways to Annoy Remus Lupin

10. Tell him a really long joke that has a stupid punch line. (Bill)

9. Talk to each other in Morse Code while you’re around him. (Fred and George)

8. Repeatedly play the Weird Sisters until he is forced to leave the room. (Tonks)

7. Finish all your sentences to him “according to the prophecy. (Everyone)

6. Repeat everything he tells you back to him in the form of a question. (Everyone)

5. Tell him he can’t sit next to you at dinner because your imaginary friend is sitting there. (Tonks)

4. Stand over his shoulder as he reads and whisper things to each other. (Fred and George)

3. Whenever he has a plan say that you have a better one, and then say something really stupid. (Sirius)

2. Move his bookmark three pages ahead every time he’s not looking. (Sirius)

1. Hide his chocolate stash. (Everyone)

In no particular order, fifty way to annoy:

Severus Snape (in progress)

1 Call him Snivellus

2 Comment on his greasy hair

3 Ask him about the ‘good times’ he shared with Padfoot

4 Ditto with Moony and Prongs

5 Give him a bunny tail

Nick-name him ‘Slimebomb’

Howl at him

In order for people to respect you you must respect yourself.

Wisdom not only comes from books, but from life.

People are not totally good or totally evil, but the majority of people are mostly good.

What kind of person you are is not only determined by your words, but your actions.

If you actually want to your eat chocolate, don't eat it around other people. They will ask for some until you don't have any left.

Chocolate cures everything!

If you want to make a new friend, go up to the new kid sitting in the corner and talk about random stuff and treat her/him like a person.

If you want for people to like you be yourself.

You don't need the latest ipod to be happy when you have real friends.(and fanfiction)

You must embrace your inner dork in order to find true happiness.

Do not hide from life, it will only hunt you down and slap you in the face and say, "Ha! You should have listened to me!"

You can learn a lot about life from a good manga!

Luck is only opportunites that have been taken advantage of.

I don't know where I heard this but...Everyone is two people. The person that they act like and the person they are underneath the suface.

If life gives you lemons, first make lemonade, drink it, then make apple juice, and wonder what just happened?

Yeah, I hear voices in my head, they're called my thoughts. If you don't hear them, that's not my problem!

- oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

-i used to be normal... until i met those freaks i call my friends(true, true)

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Re-post this if you believe Homophobia is wrong.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."

Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

Assassination is an extreme form of censorship

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.

Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"Guns don't kill people. I do."

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

MURPHY'SLESSER-KNOWNLAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

Until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

Stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the Fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

Who got there first?

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

Will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty

-The Best Friend Pledge-

1. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat.

2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining.

5. When you are confused, I will use little words.

6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.Jk (sort of).

7. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is a really good sorting house quiz. link is below.

House Crest

Score (0-100)

House Description

92

Gryffindor

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."

Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous. Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

If you want to add this feedback to your homepage, click here.

92

Ravenclaw

Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."

Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable. Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron's affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine's editor).

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85

Hufflepuff

Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."

Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Diggory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.

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71

Slytherin

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."

Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.

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"Holy man open up your eyes
To the ways of the world you've been so blind
As the walls of religion come crashing down
How's the ignorance taste second time around

Welcome to the horror of the revelation
Tell me what you think of your saviour now
I reject all the biblical views of the truth
Dismiss it as the folklore of the times
I won't be force-fed Prophecies
From a book of untruths for the weakest mind"

Slayer - (New Faith)

"Step by step, heart to heart, left right left,

We all fall down, like Toy Soldiers

Piece by piece, we're torn apart, we never win,

The battle rages on, for Toy Soldiers"

Eminem (Like Toy Soldiers)

Kevin Lomax Kevin Lomax: What are you?

Kevin Lomax: In the Bible you lose. We're destined to lose, Dad.John Milton: Well consider the source, son.

"You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain, but you feel it.
You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong.
You don't know what it is, but it's there,
Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."

Morpheus (Laurence Fishbourne) – The Matrix

"Roses are red, violets are blue, you are sweet, and I love you."

"Tomatoes are red, ashes are black, go to hell, and never come back"

"For sure you have to be lost to find a place that can't be found elseways everyone would know where it was." - Captian Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

"Don't worry, you're just as sane as I am." - Luna Lovegood

"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russell Baker

He sang

How the swan blanched forever

How the wolf threw away its telltale heart

And the stars dropped their pretense…

He sang

How everything had nothing more to lose

Then sat still with fear

Seeing the clawtrack of star

Hearing the wingbeat of rock

And his own singing"

- Owl's Song by Ted Hughes

Things i want wtiten on a t-sirt or already on a t-shirt

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Don't annoy me, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies

I can only please one person a day and today’s not your day. Tomorrow’s not looking to good either.

Your village called. They want their idiot back.

Dear First Years,

Soon your teachers will be telling you my story, the story of the mischievous Sirius Black and his partner in crime, James Potter. They will warn you not to wander down the path of pranks and detentions, as I have. I am proud of what "The Marauders" have accomplished, and therefore, wanted to leave you with something to remember us by. I am giving you a list of things that I am no longer allowed to do or say at Hogwarts, which you all should consider doing on a regular basis to remind our dear teachers what they're missing. Chances are they will break down into silent tears of nostalgia. However, should they tell you they don't miss us, well…you little ones will have to learn that sometimes professors do tell little white lies. Of course they miss us! They just can't tell you that or they'd be unconsciously encouraging you to follow in our legendary footsteps. So are you ready for Sirius Black's famous list of things not to do at Hogwarts? I thought so. Therefore I, Sirius Lee Black, now bequeath to you my legacy. Remember it well:

1 - Not allowed to threaten anyone with "Black" magic.

2 - Not allowed to give myself or any other human on the premises of Hogwarts, especially Severus Snape, magical breast implants.

3 - Not allowed to let enchanted sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

4 - Not allowed to let enchanted sock puppets serve detention for me.

5 - Not allowed to refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Dad."

6 - Not allowed to refer to Professor McGonagall as "Mum."

7 - If the thought of something makes either myself or James Potter giggle for more than fifteen seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

8 - Not allowed to speculate on the penis size of any of my male or female professors.

9 - Not allowed to threaten suicide with Muggle pop rocks and coke.

10 - The proper way to report to Headmaster Dumbledore when ordered into his office is, "You wanted to see me, Professor?" and not "You can't prove a thing!"

11 - I do not get "that time of the month" and, therefore, cannot use it as an excuse when trying to get out of detention.

12 - Not allowed to fly my broomstick indoors, especially to chase first years down to the dungeons.

13 - Not allowed to fall in love with Madam Pomfrey.

14 - Not allowed to send anonymous love letters or fan mail to Professors.

15 - There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

16 - Not allowed to ask Professor Pintaine if he's been smoking crack.

17 - Not allowed to add "in accordance with this prophecy" to the end of answers I give to a question asked by our divination professor.

18 - May not call the divination professor immoral, untrustworthy, lying slime even if I am right or become possessed by a spirit and give prophecies of my own in the middle of class.

19 - Not allowed to challenge fellow Quidditch players to 'Meet me on the field of honor at dawn,' and then show up wearing a full suit of armor that I "borrowed" from the dungeon statue.

20 - Not allowed to purchase the souls of first year students and make them my slaves.

21 - Not allowed to magically wash the hair of hygienically challenged students, even if they are greasy, slimy gits (cough-Snivellus-cough) and even if I am doing it "for the greater good of the student body."

22 - Not allowed to bribe Hogwarts kitchen house elves into sending the Slytherin table rotten food.

23 - (Next day) Not allowed to bribe Hogwarts kitchen house elves into sending the Slytherin table no food at all.

24 - Not allowed to host an "Inter-house Challenge Slip 'N' Slide Tournament" using the house tables and 147 buckets of water in the Great Hall.

25 – Not allowed to purchase the clothing of Hogwarts house elves and wear it "as a mark of my own enslavement."

26 - Not allowed to accuse Moaning Myrtle of sexual harassment.

27 - Not allowed to trade Quidditch balls (i.e. the quaffle, bludgers, and snitch...actually James kept the snitch) for inflatable sheep.

28 - Not allowed to release enchanted inflated sheep into the dungeons to test the Care of Magical Creatures Professor's competency in his trade.

29 - Not allowed to die... Seriously, I'm not allowed to die or drown! (especially while testing a potion or swimming in the lake).

30 - The staff room (which is guarded by gargoyles) is not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell first years that it is.

31 – "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long-term goal to give at career advice.

32 - Any device that can crawl across the table on medium should not be brought into the Great Hall.

33 - Not allowed to play strip Quidditch.

34 - Not allowed to send Howlers to myself.

35 - Not allowed to start a betting pool as to when Severus Snape will ever take a bath.

36 - Not allowed to make love to any Hogwarts statues.

37 - Not allowed to give Snape candy and then use it to take over his brain and make him say incriminating things.

38 - Not allowed to anonymously offer a dating service to Slytherins and then set them up with their brothers and/or sisters.

39 - Not allowed into the girls' dormitories.

40 - Not allowed within twenty feet of the girls' dormitories.

41 - Not allowed to even set foot on the entire left half of the common room (which leads to the girls' dormitories).

42 - Not allowed to turn Severus Snape's clothes pink and expect to get out of detention by arguing that "pink is definitely his color
" or that "men love pastels on a woman."

43 - Not allowed to bang my head against a desk until I become so disoriented that I wander into the girls' bathrooms.

44 - Not allowed to put a charm on certain Slytherins so that rainbow colored foam comes out of their mouths every time they try to speak ill of a Gryffindor.

45 - Not allowed to ride Dumbledore's gargoyle stairway up and down singing "I Feel Pretty" until he comes out of his office and asks me to stop.

46 - Not allowed to start a nudist colony in the prefect's bathroom on weekends.

47 - Not allowed to offer Sex-Ed classes to first through third years and other older "teenagers full of angst" who feel they are "lacking in carnal knowledge."

48 - Not allowed to imply that "Dad" (Professor Dumbledore) is "getting lucky" with "Mum" (Professor McGonagall) tonight in the middle of Transfiguration.

49 - Not allowed to hum "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye as I walk past Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore "conversing" in a "strictly professional" manner in the hallway.

50 - Not allowed to charm Hogwarts statues to kick all Slytherin's "where the sun don't shine" as they pass by.

51 - Not allowed to tell Lily Evans "thanks for last night" in front of James Potter and therefore provoke the latter to hex me.

52 - Not allowed to hand out my old, soiled socks to fifth or seventh year girls (and one fifth year guy) as good luck charms on their O.W.L.'s or N.E.W.T.'s.

53 - Not allowed to charm Dumbledore's socks to sing "Barracuda" whenever Severus Snape walks into the same room as him.

54 - Not allowed to be myself.

55 – I do not have super powers and should not claim otherwise.

56 – I am neither the king nor queen of cheese and should not claim otherwise.

57 – I am not in need of a more suitable host body and should not claim otherwise.

58 – I am not a "lesbian trapped in a man's body" and should not claim otherwise.

59 – Not allowed to trade my schoolbooks for any of the following (which have been attempted on separate occasions): cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, candy, small children, etc.

60 – Not allowed to take incriminating photographs of my professors.

61 – Not allowed to use magic to make incriminating photographs of my professors.

62 – Not allowed to tattoo a likeness of my face on students or professors while they slumber.

63 - Not allowed to vandalize the Slytherin Common Room.

64 – Not allowed to sing "Henry VIII, I Am" until verse sixty-eight ever again.

65 – Not allowed to drink three liters of blue food coloring before my yearly Quidditch (pee-in-a-cup) physical given by Madam Pomfrey.

66 – Nor allowed to drink three liters of red food coloring and scream during the same.

67 – Not allowed to bring Professor McGonagall as my date to the no-longer-annual, end-of-term costume ball.

68 – "I'm drunk," is a bad answer to the question, "Why would you do that, Black?" posed by my head of house or any other figure of authority even if I was joking.

69 – Firewhiskey, green food coloring, and a 'Cool Mint' Listerine bottle is not a good combination even if I'm trying to make a point that Lily Evans should learn to clean her teeth without using Muggle technology.

70 – The whole of Hogwarts' suits of armor cannot be assembled into a giant battle robot.

71 – Hogwarts professors have neither the time nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six whole boxes of Ice Mice yesterday.

72 – Not allowed to organize a Disco Fever Dance at 2 A.M. in the Headmaster's office, even if the Headmaster was the one who requested "Macho Man."

73 – Not allowed to send out wedding invitations for Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore.

74 – Not allowed to claim that my first name is indeed a very fitting description of my personality and burst into bogus tears when a professor suggests otherwise.

75 – Probably not allowed to be writing this list…; )


Harry and Ron's additions to Sirius' Not Allowed to List

76 - Not allowed to imagine Snape in women's clothing

77 - Not allowed to turn Malfoy into a great, bouncing ferret

78 - Not allowed to impersonate Slytherins with polyjuice potion

79 - Not allowed to belch slugs

80 - Not allowed to mobilize an army of students and plot to take over the Ministry of Magic

81 - Not allowed to sic a pack of murderous centaurs on Professor Umbridge ( No matter how much she deserves it)

"You don't understand - there are things worth dying for." Sirius

"...which left Harry free to sit down on the grass between the beech and bushes and watch the foursome under the tree." Jo Rowling (Harry Potter is downright pornographic when out of context!)

"Personally, I'd have welcomed a dementor attack. A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely." Sirius

"'...when it appears, it is always equipped for the seekers needs. Dobby has used it, sir,' said the elf, dropping his voice and looking guilty, 'when Wink has been very drunk.'" JKR (Ew.)

"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who ever lived? Only innocent lives, Peter." Sirius

"He was their friend and he betrayed them...HE WAS THEIR FRIEND...I hope he finds me...cause when he does.. I'm gonna be ready...When he does, I'm gonna kill him Harry Potter 3 movie ( the scene is way more emotional and stuff, you have to see his face)

"When life hands me lemons, I make beef stew." --Andy Milonakis show (do they even show that anymore? I never watched the actual show--just the intro)

"You tell those spiders, Ron." --Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

"There's no need to call me 'sir' professor." --Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

"...bring down the Ministry of Magic with a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease."--Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (I'm not sure if that's the exact quote, but it's hilarious. I love Luna!)

"Are you angry?" "Yeah." "What's the matter?" "I can't see my forehead."--Spongebob Squarepants

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

Enter, stranger, but take heed
of what awaits the sin of greed,
for those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay most dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
a treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
of finding more than treasure there.

"Bite me, I wanna be a vampire." "Werewolves one word for 'em: Sexy as hell!" "Oh, I'm dead? I hadn't realized." "Ha! Wizard you crack me up…"

Invictus-
Out of the night that cover me,
Black as the Pit form pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
my head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
and yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters now how strait the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-- William Ernest Henley

Ive become so numb
I cant feel you there
Tired of being who you want me to be.

Linkin Park- Numb

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my Life- Simple Plan

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life- The Fray

"For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is phsychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity."--Jean DuBuffet
"Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage."--Ray Bradbury

I am a question to the world

Not an answer to be heard

Or a moment that's held in your arms

And what do you think you'd never say?

I won't listen anyway

You don't know me

And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand?

I'm a boy—no, I'm a man

You can't take me and throw me away

And how can you learn what's never shown?

Yeah, you stand there on your own

You don't know me

Cause I'm not here

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you."

There is a fine line between chivalry and sexism, and Twilight books have crossed it.

"...And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consulations. They're quite aware of what their going through..." - David Bowie

what's life without a little adventure?

We are our own worst critics

If i can not go back i must simply move forward

Re-post this if you believe Homophobia is wrong.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Drop a pebble in the water, just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,

Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

("Drop a Pebble in the Water" by James W. Foley

“Generally women are better than men -- they have more character. I prefer men for some things, obviously, but women have a greater sense of honor and are more willing to take a chance with their lives.” Lauren Bacall

“Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy.” Lauren Bacall

“You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now.” Lauren Bacall

“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly” Lauren Bacall

“I am not a has-been. I am a will be.” Lauren Bacall

“I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.” Lauren Bacall

“I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it 'content.'” santizLauren Bacall

“They're guys who want to screw around all the time, which interests me not at all. God knows we've done that, been there, and we don't want to do that any more.” Lauren Bacall

“In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.” Lauren Bacall

“I wish Frank Sinatra would just shut up and sing.” Lauren Bacall

“I used to tremble from nerves so badly that the only way I could hold my head steady was to lower my chin practically to my chest and look up at Bogie. That was the beginning of The Look.” Lauren Bacall

People should tell your children what life is all about -- it's about work.” - Lauren Bacall

Authors > L Law > Lauren Bacall

21-30 Quotations of 31Lauren Bacall quotes

American motion-picture and stage Actress, b.1924






“I'm not a sedentary person. I've always been active

Lauren Bacall quote






“She's not a legend, ... She can't be a legend at whatever age she is. ... You have to be older.”

Lauren Bacall quote






“I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way.”

Lauren Bacall

“The purity of Jewish upbringing is the restrictions that one carries through life being a "nice Jewish girl" -- what a burden!” Lauren Bacall

Jane Addams Quotes

• Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.

• The good we secure for ourselves is precarious and uncertain until it is secured for all of us and incorporated into our common life.

• Unless our conception of patriotism is progressive, it cannot hope to embody the real affection and the real interest of the nation.

• In his own way each man must struggle, lest the normal law become a far-off abstraction utterly separated from his active life.

• Action indeed is the sole medium of expression for ethics.

• Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt.

• Private beneficence is totally inadequate to deal with the vast numbers of the city's disinherited.

• We have learned to say that the good must be extended to all of society before it can be held secure by any one person or class; but we have not yet learned to add to that statement, that unless all people and all classes contribute to a good, we cannot even be sure that it is worth having.

• We slowly learn that life consists of processes as well as results, and that failure may come quite as easily from ignoring the adequacy of one's method as from selfish or ignoble aims. We are thus brought to a conception of Democracy not merely as a sentiment which desires the well-being of all people, nor yet as a creed which believes in the essential dignity and equality of all people, but as that which affords a rule for living as well as a test of faith.

• Social advance depends as much upon the process through which it is secured as upon the result itself.

• The new growth in the plant swelling against the sheath, which at the same time imprisons and protects it, must still be the truest type of progress.

• Civilization is a method of living and an attitude of equal respect for all people.

• Old-fashioned ways which no longer apply to changed conditions are a snare in which the feet of women have always become readily entangled.

• I do not believe that women are better than men. We have not wrecked railroads, nor corrupted legislature, nor done many unholy things that men have done; but then we must remember that we have not had the chance.

• National events determine our ideals, as much as our ideals determine national events.

• An unscrupulous contractor regards no basement as too dark, no stable loft too foul, no rear shanty too provisional, no tenement room too small for his workroom as these conditions imply low rental.

• America's future will be determined by the home and the school. The child becomes largely what he is taught; hence we must watch what we teach, and how we live.

• The essence of immorality is the tendency to make an exception of myself.

• The excellent becomes the permanent.

• Teaching in a Settlement requires distinct methods, for it is true of people who have been allowed to remain undeveloped and whose facilities are inert and sterile, that they cannot take their learning heavily. It has to be diffused in a social atmosphere, information must be held in solution, in a medium of fellowship and good will... It is needless to say that a Settlement is a protest against a restricted view of education.

• Many women today are failing properly to discharge their duties to their own families and household simply because they fail to see that as society grows more complicated it is necessary that women shall extend her sense of responsibility to many things outside of her home, if only to preserve the home in entirety.

• The relationship of students and faculty to each other and to the residents was that of guest and hostess and at the close of each term the residents gave a reception to students and faculty which was one of the chief social events of the season. Upon this comfortable social basis some very good work was done.

• That Christianity has to be revealed and embodied in the line of social progress is a corollary to the simple proposition, that man's action is found in his social relationships in the way in which he connects with his fellows; that his motives for action are the zeal and affection with which he regards his fellows. By this simple process was created a deep enthusiasm for humanity; which regarded man as at once the organ and the object of revelation; and by this process came about the wonderful fellowship, the true democracy of the early Church, that so captivates the imagination... The spectacle of the Christians loving all men was the most astounding Rome had ever seen.

• It is always easy to make all philosophy point one particular moral and all history adorn one particular tale; but I may be forgiven the reminder that the best speculative philosophy sets forth the solidarity of the human race; that the highest moralists have taught that without the advance and improvement of the whole, no man can hope for any lasting improvement in his own moral or material individual condition; and that the subjective necessity for Social Settlements is therefore identical with that necessity, which urges us on toward social and individual salvation.

• For ten years I have lived in a neighborhood which is by no means criminal, and yet during last October and November we were startled by seven murders within a radius of ten blocks. A little investigation of details and motives, the accident of a personal acquaintance with two of the criminals, made it not in the least difficult to trace the murders back to the influence of war. Simple people who read of carnage and bloodshed easily receive its suggestions. Habits of self-control which have been but slowly and imperfectly acquired quickly break down under the stress.

Psychologists intimate that action is determined by the selection of the subject upon which the attention is habitually fixed. The newspapers, the theatrical posters, the street conversations for weeks had to do with war and bloodshed. The little children on the street played at war, day after day, killing Spaniards. The humane instinct, which keeps in abeyance the tendency to cruelty, the growing belief that the life of each human being -- however hopeless or degraded, is still sacred -- gives way, and the barbaric instinct asserts itself.

It is doubtless only during a time of war that the men and women of Chicago could tolerate whipping for children in our city prison, and it is only during such a time that the introduction in the legislature of a bill for the re-establishment of the whipping post could be possible. National events determine our ideals, as much as our ideals determine national events

Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

"If you refer to 5th grade as your 'senior year,' you might be a redneck."
"When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'"
"People make fun of the way I talk, but I always tell them that they're gonna be real surprised when they get up to Heaven and St. Peter says, 'Y'all git in the truck, we're goin' up to the Big House.'"

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Jeff Foxworthy

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Jeff Foxworthy

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
Jeff Foxworthy

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
Jeff Foxworthy

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Jeff Foxworthy

I know God is real.
Jeff Foxworthy

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy

I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
Jeff Foxworthy

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Jeff Foxworthy

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
Jeff Foxworthy

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Jeff Foxworthy

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Jeff Foxworthy

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Foxworthy

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
Jeff Foxworthy

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Foxworthy

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy

There is no down time anymore
Jeff Foxworthy

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
Jeff Foxworthy

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

-1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

-One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

-We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edwards the fastest

Emmetts the Strongest

but only Jasper can sit in a corner and still make you feel jealous

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick

"Predictable. Minds around me never change. No desire to fall into the same graves they dug... no desire to lay buried in those graves...they plead... they beg... they bargain..." - Bella

Place two mirrors facing parallel with each other. The reflection is never ending right? What if both mirrors represented two sets of eyes? What if both sets of eyes were both that of Deaths’…? That’s right. Plural. Deaths. What would happen then? Death signifies an end.Could two ends that meet break the reflection? Whose reflection would break? - Bella

“Clearly, you don’t read the papers. Of course death has a sense of humor. Who dies while peeling potatoes?” - Bella

Being a Vampire is just another form of being human, just with a more animalistic side.

"Just because you stop feeling doesn’t mean that those feelings die. Like being caught in a red light, you stop. You stop knowing that time will come when the light turns green again. Where you go is the thing to consider. Move forward? Or turn around?" - Bella

“Is it… winter …in his eyes… when he sees…. his sun rise?” - Midnight Breeze

“Ah, such a folly… selfless love could be.” - Midnight Breeze

“Silvered ringing…that knows both…warning and delight… everyone knows… the beauty…that is… the black bells… of…both light and death… light in death… light of death…ringing Bella…Bella…Bella…light and death…Bella…” - Midnight Breeze

“Dreams…are…beautiful things… and…they are also…frightening things…they are mirrors…. And they could also be…double-edged swords… they are reflections… a hidden guide… of what…the heart desires… what the mind… pushes away…. It is everything… it is nothing… it is anything… it is…whatever… you… make of it…” - Midnight Breeze

“Patience, my dear and be prepared to be lulled to sleep by Edward Anthony Cullen’s autobiography.” - Edward

“Did you try to tell her your life story, get her bored that she had to shut you up?” Jacob suggested while trying to hold back from laughing.

“You guys done yet? I’m absolutely famished! So you guys – are famished as well, I see?" - Jasper

“Of course you did. You had a dose of Emmett fun.” - Emmett

“She is like water, restless but fluid, flowing, calm, unpredictable and… easily gone and back again.” - Mr. White

“I’m so clumsy I might end up shooting you…” - Bella

This is silly right? It’s just a kiss right? A harmless no nonsense accidental brushing of lips.” - Bella

"So? Make a mistake with me?" Jasper's answer when Bella asked him what if they also weren't meant to be.

"How does one really know who belongs to whom in this vast mysterious earth?" - Jasper

"There is a possibility, even the slightest nano-fraction that maybe I met Alice and Bella met Edward so that me and Bella could meet or something along that line of thought. I know it’s beyond farfetched but there’s a big ‘maybe’ that looms overhead. Wishful thinking, but hey, anything’s possible. I mean look at us – our kind exists and we’re under the ‘mythical creature’ category." - Jasper

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

Come join the dark side. (We have Jasper Whitlock)

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

My favorite word is sarcasm.

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

My heart is not a playground

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Love can come in many different colours.

Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.

What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.

Guns don't kill people. I do.

If you can't see he bright side of life, polish the dull side.

huh. It figures, all the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste.

I find "good morning" contradictory

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

If you are wasting your time reading weird, witty, funny things off of someone's crazy profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this onto your profile

Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Live Like your dying.

You can't control who you fall in love with but you can control what you do with it.

Nothings impossible, just improbable.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.

I fear your smile and the promise inside

I fear your presence, I'm frozen inside.

I'm searching for answers

Not questioned before.

The Curse of awareness,

There's no peace of mind

As your true colors show, A dangerous sign.

Sweet Darling
this is my confession to
the crimes of wanting you badly
And Darlin' if you're wondering
here's your answer
yes I like you
I don't love you
I can't love you...

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Jasper Hale."
"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

I'm a BRUNETTE and I'm a cutie,

Mess with me and I'll kick your booty,

Redheads are smart,

Blondes think they're cool,

Well think again,

'Cause BRUNETTES rule!

Losers stare make a fuss.

Just one question-

jealous much?

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,

So why bother?

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

'Make a bet with me, and I will win. Fight me, and you will loose. Tell me I can't, and I will. Tell me to, and I won't. Dare me, and I'll do it. Say I can, and I will.'

'Try and run from me and I'll trip you before I kick your ass.'

'If I had a baseball bat I'd hit you with it.'

'Try me and see what you get.'

'Hurt the ones I love about again and I will show you the meaning of hell on Earth'

'Touch me and you will loose your life.'

'You really shouldn't have pissed off the person who can make your life a living hell.'

'I'll protect my friends because I know they're worth protecting.'

'I don't give crap what they said because everybody has a talent. they are wrong and I know you can be the best you are.'

'Do you really want to try and hurt me?'

"He who laughs last didn't get it. He who laughs first has the most perverted mind."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

agree with me now- it will saw sooo much time

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends.

I'm not afriad of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

It doesn't matter whether the glass if half-full or half-empty. Just drink the damn thing and get it over with.

Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.

Advice is what we ask for when we already have the answer but wish we didn't.

Don'y play games with a girl who can play better.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is not.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame

The past. It's done. It's unchangeable. Move on.

Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it all together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength.

No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

The best things in life are unseen. That's why we colse our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who never will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea.

If it wasn't for physics and the law, hell, I'd be unstoppable.

Fear nothing. Risk everything.

Growing old is mandatory...but growing up my friends, well that is optional.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak.

With everything that you can do, the real question is what will you do?

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.

Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

FINE= the real definition:

F.reaked Out

I.nsecure

N.uerotic

E.motional

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

i had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year

olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?",

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back
of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Stupid Warnings:

This is a list of all the stupid warnings on the products most of us use daily.

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

16. On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

17. On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

18. On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

19. On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

20. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

21. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

23. On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

24. On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

25. On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

26. On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

27. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

28. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

29. On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

30. On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you
(Great go ahead and ruin a childs hopes and dreams)

A Hispanic man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Hispanic man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The Hispanic man turned around and stood up.

He then said:

"Listen Pendejo...when I was born, I was brown, "
"When I grew up, I was brown, "
"When I'm sick, I'm brown, "
"When I go in the sun, I'm brown, "
"When I'm cold, I'm brown, "
"When I die, I'll be brown ."

"But you pendejo..."
"When you're born, you're pink, "
"When you grow up, you're white, "
"When you're sick, you're green, "
"When you go in the sun, you turn red, "
"When you're cold, you turn blue, "
"And when you die, you turn purple."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." Emmett Cullen

Okay, i got nothing against blondes. Hair color has nothing to do with your personality but these are funny, no offense to blondes.

This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.

She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.

When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,
'Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?'

The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'

The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,

'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'

The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,
'If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!"

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.

The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
and the other one said, 'No they look like moose tracks.'

They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'

Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'

The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.

He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'

She asks, 'Oh, how come?'

He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

How do you drown a blonde?
put a mirror at the bottom of a pool (jacob said this!)

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?

Toes Go In First.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.

Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blonde ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, 'I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!'

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually

If at first you don't succeed, sky divings not for you

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Lifes Tough, get a helmet

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths

The cops never find it as funny as you do

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on (sometimes)

Total= 15 out of 26. Whoa O.O

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheer leading a sport
You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall. (FOOD COURT! Or Designer Clothes stores.)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of everything

whoa, 5 out of 24. that is just sad.

"This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper"

– T.S. Eliot

The devils are inside the walls

I regret to announce that this is the end

Tribute to The Potter's

To Jame's Flower brave and loving till the end,

who got her four years of laughter.

To Prongs strong, true and brave till the end,

who considered it the height of betrayal to mistrust his friends.

both Gryffindors till the end,

watching with love over Padfoot, Moony, and Prongslet.

Misery truly does love company

If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years. -Socrates

Among life's perpetually charming questions is whether the truly evil do more harm than the self-righteous and wrong. -Jon Margolis

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

-Bill Watterson

Nobody should automatically deserve respect

a person has to earn it no matter how important they are

The willing, Destiny guides them; the unwilling, Destiny drags them.

-Seneca the Younger

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.

-George S. Patton

Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that?

-M. Clark

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

-Henry Brooks Adams

Question: Why does God allow evil in the world?

Sri Ramakrishna: To thicken the plot.

-Sri Ramakrishna

I take a simple view of living. It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.

-Sir Laurence Olivier

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

-Leo C. Rosten

On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.

-Douglas Adams

sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but is also the funniest

No matter what a man's past may have been, his future is spotless.

-John R. Rice

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger have handled this?"

-Brady's First Law of Problem Solving

Nunquam lamiae morde me dice. - Never say 'bite me' to a vampire.

-Anonymous

Committee- a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

-Fred Allen

"Did I do anything wrong today, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?"

–Douglas Adams

Destiny is as destiny does. If you believe you have no control, then you have no control.

-Wess Roberts

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.

-George Savile, Marquis of Halifax

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

-Margaret Thatcher

Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.

-Samuel Pepys

The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

-Mark Twain

THE DOCTOR: Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another.

-Doctor Who

A man gazing on the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles on the road.

-Alexander Smith

Aziraphale patted Crowley on the back. "We seem to have survived," he said. "Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent."

-Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

And it's not cheating if it works and no one catches you

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

-Dorothy Parker

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can have.

-T.H. White

He who has a strong enough why to live for, can bear almost any how.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.

-Paul Tournier

Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum. -- Screw you and the horse you rode in on.

-Anonymous

Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

-William Saroyan

Think where man's glory most begins and ends,

And say my glory was I had such friends.

-William Butler Yeats

A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself.

-George Bernard Shaw

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.

-Evelyn Waugh

You can't make a person love you...you can only stalk them and hope for the best.

-Anonymous

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.

-Qur'an

Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Maturity is knowing that just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean he's a horse's ass.

-Harry S Truman

No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately 1.5 billion Chinese couldn't care less.

-Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't.

-Joss Whedon

Thou call'dst me a dog before thou hadst a cause, but, since I am a dog, beware my fangs.

-William Shakespeare

Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrow which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.

-J. B. Priestley

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

-Lyman Bryson

Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.

-Tim McMahon

If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure.

-J. Danforth Quayle

TED: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

ELAINE: When will you be back?

TED: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

-David Zucker (Airplane)

The difference between news and gossip lies in whether you raise your voice or lower it.

-Franklin P. Jones

Every time I try to define a perfectly stable person, I am appalled by the dullness of that person.

-J.D. Griffin

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, nobody wants to live any other way.

-Judith Martin, a.k.a. Miss Manners

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

-Anonymous

Always remember that there are certain people who set their watches by your clock.

-Anonymous

Violence may not be the best answer, but it'll do in a pinch

I hadn't smoked in ten or twelve years, but I wished then I'd had a cigarette that I could have taken a final drag on and flipped still burning into the river as I turned and walked away. Not smoking gains in the area of lung cancer, but it loses badly in the realm of dramatic gestures.

-Robert Parker

He makes no friend who never made a foe.

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

-Sean O'Casey

if the worlds a stage, men need better lines

But you do the job that's in front of you, or people die.

-Terry Pratchett

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.

-Alice Walker

Before you set out for revenge, be sure to dig two graves.

-Chinese proverb

When a mystery is too overpowering, one dare not disobey.

-Antoine de Saint-Exupèry

"We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it." -John F. Kennedy

"Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it."

"Time keeps everything from happening at once. Space keeps everything from happening to you." –Unknown

"If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind." – Seneca

"It's déjà vu all over again." – Yogi Berra

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." – T. S. Eliot

Into the Twilight

And God stands winding His lonely horn,

And time and the world are ever in flight;

And love is less kind than the grey twilight,

And hope is less dear than the dew of the morn.

William Butler Yeats

"The fatal flaw in every plan is the assumption that you know more than your enemy." Volrath

White is the color of temptation and innocence, purity and civility. People characterized by this color love life and longevity but do so without excess or grandeur. Some see white as childish – a return to youth – but others know it to be filled with focus and a desire to live an uncluttered life. White is for the honest, the righteous and eager, the decent and civil-minded who will stand up to protect justice and honor. It is the color of plains and temples, the color of the scholar and the virtuous knight alike. White is for those who believe in a cause and believe in themselves, for those unafraid to stand up in the face of adversity.

Green is the balance between extremes. Those who favor green are solid people with easy manners. They aren't impulsive, as are those who favor red, or withdrawn like those who favor blue. Those associated with green are socially well-adjusted and organic. They are conventional, yet constantly on the go, and have a taste for the good things in life. Green has, on occasion, been associated with jealousy or inexperience, but those who have a broader understanding know that green is natural, fresh, wise, and comforting, and those characterized by it show a sensitivity to social customs and etiquette. Green provides abundance and resources, it is passive and combative at the same time, and calls to those who want to be grounded in their natural surroundings.

Red is the color of release, the hue of outward expression and excitement. It is hard to be indifferent about red. It may be loved or feared, but it is seldom disregarded. It is characterized as aggressive, vigorous, and given to impulse and mood. Those associated with red are sometimes accused of lacking patience or possessing a quick temper, but red also embodies a fervent passion and feeling for fellow beings. Red is signified by fire, blood, lava, and emotion. It manifests itself as bursts of outward expression and outspoken tirades. Red characterizes whose who know what needs to be done and aren't afraid to do it, for those who want results and action instead of deliberation and debate, for those who like the cathartic pleasures of the flame.

Black, the symbol of death and despair, can be characterized as morbid, impatient, incorporeal, and stagnant. It is the color of pollution and pestilent, festering swamps. Those who show fondness for this color are not the type to show off. They will impress those worthy of their time by their real substance and weight. Black leans on the side of misery and darkness, but can at the same time be mighty and dignified. Black is a stark color, the beacon of nothingness, but those who favor this color abhor inevitability. They would hold to the present forever if they could and they will probably try. Black is for those who hide their darker side behind an air of sophistication, for those who lurk in alleyways and dark corners. Above all, Black is for those who are willing to pay the price of greatness.

Blue, sometimes called the color of distinction, is characterized by calm hands and a reflective mind. A natural sedative, blue is the color of deliberation and introspection, conservatism and acceptance. Blue has almost universal appeal and is considered to be the most aesthetically appealing color. Blue is the color of respect and wisdom. But those who lean toward blue sometimes use reason for selfish and self-justified purposes. It is the color of control and passive aggression as well as the color of the sea and the sky. Blue is for those contemplative people who exercise caution in words and actions and for those who always weigh the options.

There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes
A kind of pale jewel
Open and closed

There's such a fooled heart
Beatin' so fast
In search of new dreams
A love that will last
Within your heart
I'll place the moon
Within your heart

As the pain sweeps through,
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill is gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all,
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.

I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings
Though we're strangers 'til now
We're choosing the path
Between the stars
I'll leave my love
Between the stars

As the pains sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down

Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling in love

"Colder than blue snow
Softer than a silky flow
Reality or illusion?
No one ever knows

Light or hateful care
True or merely fantasy
Deep or merely now?
No one ever knows

Whether it's true or false
Whether it really happens
Whether it's like golden dust
Or an ice from the far lands

No one . . . ever . . . knows"

"Without publicity there can be no public support, and without public support every nation must decay."

- Benjamin Disraeli quote (British Prime Minister and Novelist. 1804-1881)

"Do not pity the dead Harry, pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love." - Dumbledore

"Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily -- weak people, in other words..." - Snape

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." - Dumbledore

"What exactly is the function of a rubber duck"- Arthur Weasley

"You think the dead we love ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble?" -Dumbledore

"Well, well . . . I'm impressed. That suggests what you fear most of all is -- fear. Very wise, Harry." - Lupin

"People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." - Dumbledore

And Lastly...

"Cinderella? What's that, an illness?" -Ron Weasley

*History becomes legend. Legend becomes myth, and that things that should not be forgotten are lost.

*No one is more fully enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free

*Rule Through Fear generally means you're too incompetent to rule via anything else

Your safety is your own responsibility. Trusting someone else to guard your life makes you no better than a slave.

You do not have to seek a war for it to find you.

If everyone who wanted peace was left alone by those who didn't the world would have nothing in its history that we would recognize today.

But it should be obvious to you that we do not live in such a world. We never have, nor will we.

The nature of evil is such that it will always bring suffering and death where it can. Those who bring evil with them will always bring force to bear to compel compliance. When one is faced with them you may either choose to resist or become a willing victim. If you chose to resist, know that you will have to counter their force, and that will require some force of your own.

Your strategy will dictate how much, but more is always welcome, and having less is not a virtue. The capacity to fight should always be sought by those who desire peace.

to learn about one thing, discover how it affects other things.

George Martin -

“I don't concern myself over whether my characters are "likeable" or "sympathetic." My interest is in trying to make them real and human. If I can create a fully-fleshed three-dimensional character, some of my readers will like him/ her, or some won't, and that's fine with me. That's the way real people react to real people in the real world, after all. Look at the range of opinions we get on politicans and movie stars. If EVERYONE likes a certain character, or hates him, that probably means he's made of cardboard.

The easiest way to let evil triumph, is for the good to sit by and do nothing.

"I hate writing, I love having written." - unknown

She's trying to cup the sky in her hand, but it keeps sliding through her fingertips.

She's falliing out of every tree she ever tried to climb, and is failing miserably at trying to smile through it all.

So she'll just burn ever bridge she's ever crossed, and this time next year, she won't be the same person she was before.

She's pretty, she's smart, and she's mastered the art of apathy. She's practically a robot.

Her name is Amy, she's 16, and she lives in Florida.

Break her heart one more time and she'll finally break in half.

hp character extended 6 word challenge

lily potter to serverus snape

You just couldn't let go of a school boy grudge, could you Sev?

Regulus Black to Sirius Black

You're proud of me now, right?

or

I did what you would have done and this time i did it because i believed in what i was doing.

"What if it didn't matter if you were a Christian or a Jew or a Buddhist or a wiccan or a... a transcendentalist? What if all those roads led to the same place." -Shay Bourne, Change of Heart

"And the ones who are really monsters, the ones they don't ever want walking around near their wives and children again-the ones like me-well, those they get to dispose of. Because it's easier than admitting there isn't much difference between them and me." -Shay Bourne, Change of Heart

"Shay looked squarely at me. 'If you want to know what makes someone a killer,' he said, 'ask yourself what would make you do it.'" -Shay Bourne, Change of Heart

"The more you think you're right, the likelier you are to be wrong." - Ian Fletcher, Change of Heart

"An athiest's got more in common with a christian, since he believes you can know whether or not god exists- but where a Christian says absolutely, the athiest says absolutely not. For me, and any other agnostic- the jury's still out. Religion is intriguing, but in a historical sense. A man should live his life in a certain way not because of some divine authority, but because of a personal moral obligation to himself and others." -Ian Fletcher, Change of Heart

Fate decides until challenged by the fated. - Beautiful Creatures

Night World Oath

When I see a girl with Cancer,

I will remember Poppy North.

When I see James Dean,

I will think of James Rasmussen.

When I look up at the stars,

I will see Mary-Lynnette Carter.

When I see a lazy cat,

I will remeber Ash Redfern.

When I see sibiling rivalry,

I will see Blaise and Thea Harmon.

When I see an animal,

I will think of Eric Ross.

When I see snow,

I will remember Gillain Harmen.

When I think of Heaven,

I will remember Gary(Angel).

When I see something burn black,

I will think of David Blackburn

When I see an orphan,

I will think of Rashel Jordan.

When I see a cold hearted and lonely man,

I will remember John Quinn.

When I get deja vu,

I will think of Hannah Snow.

When I see sadness in someones eyes,

I will remember Thierry Descouedres.

When I see fire,

I will see Jezbel Redfern.

When I see someone being cocky,

I will think of Morgead Blackthorn.

When I someone who's determined,

I will remember Maggie Neeley.

When I see royalty,

I will think of Delos Redfern.

When I see a black cat,

I will see Raksha Keller.

When I see a golden Lepard,

I will see Galen Drache.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A boyfriend stabs your heart
Best Friends only poke each other with straws

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho - things even out.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

I intend to live forever...so far so good

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

I am not weird... just plotting

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you Can't wait for Strange Fate, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you think Rashel Jordan is better than Bella Swan copy and paste this onto your profile.

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or trying to change into a panther, YAY KELLER!!!)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Quinn is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

How to survive a Horror movie

When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not go search for something in the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not speak, or if they speak to you using a voice which is not their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you the grief in the long run. *NOTE* It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone.

As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead.

If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and you find out it’s just the cat, leave the room immediatey if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take *anything* from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don’t fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing.

If you’re running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, developing a fascination with blood, glowing eyes, foaming at the mouth and increasing hairiness, get away from them as fast as possible.

Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.

If your car runs out of gas late at night, don’t go to the nearby deserted looking house to call for help. Likewise if your car has broken down, and the only refuge for miles is that creepy old mansion/castle on the hill. Stay in the car.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any device made from deceased companions.

Listen closely to the soundtrack and pay attention to the audience. They are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

Never listen to music that contains staccato shrieking violins.

If you are a woman, never strip and take a shower in slow motion.

Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your worksurface.

The first woman to either lose or remove her clothing is dead meat.

The guy with the testosterone overdose is also dead meat.

Along with the guy that is always making jokes

When you are searching a house because you think there is something dangerous there, turn on the damn lights!

Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you.

If you are traveling with friends, never let any hitch hikers into the van with you. It’ll be the worst (if not the last) day of your life.

Never babysit.There are enough babysitter-in-danger-thanks-to-a-stupid-killer flicks out there already.

If you ARE stupid enough to babysit, never try on the mom’s nightgown collection. You’ll only end up showing more skin. Remember: Skin=Death.

If you are being chased, never lean against the wall when you think you lost him. He’ll just pop through and kill you.

Same goes for leaning against the window.

If you are at your Senior prom, and the school reject has just won prom queen, slowly back away and run for the exit.

All hell is about to break loose.

If you are a stoner among other stoners, be the quiet one or the lovable one. All the other stoners will be killed.

If the killer has stalked you over the phone lines, don’t take a job as a phone counselor.

Never let someone hypnotize you at a party.

Stay away from sewers.

If you sense something is behind you, don’t bother turning around to check. Just run.

If you are trying to escape the killer, sliding through the cat door in the electronic garage door will not help you any.

After you manage to kill the monster/killer, never sit beside it and cry. It will suddenly pop back up to finish the job.

Never go to camp or become a counselor. You’ll be dead by the end of summer.

Never say “I’ll be right back.” You won’t be back. End of story.

Don’t ever do something just because someone dares you to.

If you ever visit some distant planet and find objects that look like eggs, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!

Then when one of your spaceship’s crew members finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of breaking the pervious rule), don’t let him back on the ship.

When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of breaking the previous two rules) NEVER wander off alone to hunt for the ship’s cat.

If someone tells you to do or not to something (example: DON’T fall asleep, DON’T go out there, DON’T go look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding psychopath by yourself) by all means, LISTEN TO THEM!!

A small town’s little summer celebration might sound like fun. But if you hear the locals say things like, “Why you’re the guest of honor! We couldn’t even have the barbecue with out you!”, run like hell.

If you are trapped in a house surrounded by demons, making coffee will not help anyone.

Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school.

Clowns never have, nor will they ever be helpful to hang around while in a horror movie. As harmless as the might seem, they WILL kill you once you let your guard down.

Never go back for anything you lost.

Avoid people with pointy teeh.

Avoid people with lots of facial hair.

Avoid people with pale complexions who sway and moan,

If the barber remarks on the “666″ tattoo your kid has, abandon the kid and move to Irkutsk.

If you see a burly man wearing a hockey mask and toting a chainsaw, DO NOT stick around to see if he’s with the Philadelphia Flyers.

Never buy your kid a toy that talks back.

Remember: Just say “NO” to human blood.

Never watch a horror movie while you’re in a horror movie.

Never, under any circumstance, plan a camping trip that coincides with Friday the 13th.

Pigs blood is not now, nor has it ever been funny.

If the young girls of the neighborhood start singing songs about boogeymen while jumping rope, consider moving.

If you hit a man with a car in the middle of the night and try to roll him off of a dock, make sure that he is dead!

Never EVER play with any Ouijia board that you find in the basement of your newly bought, run-down house.

Never run into a deserted graveyard at night,

If you are running away from the killer/monster, don’t even try to start the car. It doesn’t matter if the car is brand new, it won’t start.

If running from the monster/killer, try to make the least amount of noise possible. Especially if you are female.

Panting, crying and screaming is not going to help you hide any better.

For pete’s sake…NEVER stick your hand down the garbage disposal. Especially if you just heard strange noises in your house or while sinister music is playing.

Don’t marry a guy that has Satan Worshippers as friends. They will want you to birth the new Anti-Christ.

Never answer the phone when you are babysititng. Just get the hell out of there and leave the kids for dead.

If you think you see your girlfriend/boyfriend and they are wearing a mask, not talking, or conspicuously hiding their face, it’s not them.

Don’t be mean to the new kid. They will just end up killing you.

If you hear a strange noise coming from upstairs that sounds similar to, oh let’s say a severed head falling to the floor, don’t go trying to find out what it is.

Never touch something that just oozed out of a comet that landed near an abandoned farm house.

When battling zombies, always sever their head or shoot them in the brain. If you they still want to eat you after that, just surrender. There’s no hope for you anyway.

Never wait until you NEED the gun to check and see if it’s loaded.

If you have to stay out in the woods or at camp you’re pretty much screwed. But at least you’ll have a fighting chance in the cabin. Never EVER take the tent.

Never try to unmask the killer.

Never hide in a closet.

If you buried your child in a strange place and he came back as a demon, DON’T bury your wife in the same place.

If you find the mangled body of a friend, camping partner, janitor, or whom ever, don’t stay and investigate. Run like hell.

Don’t spend a lot of time in houses decorated with an excessive amount of medivel weaponry. It will be used eventually.

Don’t make a documentary that requires you to hike through the woods while looking for a witch that leaves stick figures hanging in trees.

If you are going to the bathroom in a movie theatre and you think you hear a guy and a girl making out in the stall next to you, don’t put your ear closer to the wall to listen.

If you see a short guy wearing green and wearing a shamrock hat, I wouldn’t stick around to ask about his pot of gold.

Never transport the killer in an ambulance from one place to another. Even if they’ve been in a coma for 10 years, they’ll wake up.

Never listen to strange voices on the telephone.

Never say “Who’s there?”

If your hand has been possesed by the Force of Evil, do NOT chop off your hand. Doing so will merely allow the disembodied hand the freedom to wreak havoc independent of your body. And now you have to spend the rest of the film trying to track it down,

If you have a feeling you’ll end up being chased by zombies during the night, remember to wear comfortable running shoes.

After babysitting, don’t walk down any deserted streets with lots of trees and bushes, but no lights.

If you are a girl with long blonde hair, blue eyes and big boobs, well, you are pretty much screwed.

Always check the backseat of your car before you get in.

When running away from the killer/monster, NEVER run upstairs.

If you see someone who is within screaming distance while running from the killer/monster, for the love of god, SCREAM!!

If a giant shark is chasing your family, don’t go swimming. Actually, stay away from the water, period.

If you are babysitting, don’t let the kids play with the Chucky doll.

If one night you see a dark haired girl carrying around dolls with the eyes scratched out, back away slowly, then run like hell.

If you go to your school library and there are a lot of books having to do with vampires and demons…move away ASAP

If you are fleeing from a killer or supernatural being and you see a cop car, run right by it. There are three possible ways that things will turn out if you try to get the cops attention and none are good:

A. The cop is already dead in some gruesome way that will cause you to scream and alert the killer/monster as to where you are.

B. The cop will probably end up dead as he tries to help you, this will only distract the killer away from you for a few seconds, but chances are you will end up getting killed anyway.

C. The supernatural being has assumed the form of a cop and just when you think you are safe…he will kill you.

If the locals say the camp is haunted, it probably is.

If people in your neighborhood have been disapearing and there’s talk about a surge of any type of insect…move. Stuborn home owners always die.

When and if you fall while running and the killer/monster is near you, don’t just sit there screaming like someone will hear you. Get up and RUN!!

Kill the Scientist. No matter what else you do, kill him off right away. They always want to study “it,” or take “it” back to the corporate masters, or learn from “it” at the expense of comrades lives. Eggheads are always trying to understand the unknown, and get nearly everyone killed doing it. Get a clue, kill the guy with the pocket protector, he’s going to sacrifice you anyway.

If the killer if after you and you somehow manage to knock him down,
don’t get up and run for help. Believe me, he will stay down much longer
after you kick him a couple times.

If the movie is directed by someone named Wes Craven or John Carpenter, you’re pretty much screwed.

If the killer/monster is dead, don’t dig up his grave to try to do a final resurrection. He will only come back to life.

If you disobey the previous rule, don’t try cutting off his head or anything
cheap. Stick a grenade in his mouth and run for it.

If the killer is standing three feet in front of you, don’t just stand there and scream while he comes running towards you. It may comes as a shock, but he DOES in fact want to kill you.

A female should never wear a white shirt without a bra while escaping the monster. It will only increase your chances of falling and causing a freak rainstorm that will make your shirt transparent and result in your immediate death.

If you live in Maine and your hometown includes a clown driving a car he calls Christine with a large ,rabid St. Bernard in the backseat, while residing in an old, haunted hotel near a strange Pet Semetary and hangs out with teenage girls with telekenetic powers….you’re pretty much screwed.

If you DO happen to get killed, make sure it’s in a cheap low-budget gore-fest with no plot, so you can come back and kick ass, no explanation needed.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

My reality check bounced.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Caution: Handicapped people will be eaten by crocodiles below.

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

Hate... A kind of love given to people who are dumb.

If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you.

When you’re stressed just... YODEL!

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

I'm cool, you're cool... but if you hug me, I'll slap you silly.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Be crazy... well behaved girls never made history.

My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.

I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming at me.

I am absolutely awesome (agree or die)

Caution, water on road during rain.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

Oh no! Barney's gone pimp! What has the world come to?

The worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth.

Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan... Girl, are you sure you weren't made in China?

If two people are happy together, then leave them to it. It's THEIR lives.

Hey mom!?!... WHAT!!!!! ...woah, nevermind then!!

To be old and wise, you first must be young and foolish.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
—Apple inc

Without music, life would be a mistake."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."
Toni Morrison

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
Joan Crawford

"THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say."
Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

"Where there is love there is life."
Mahatma Gandhi

"Don't think or judge, just listen."
Sarah Dessen (Just Listen)

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
Marilyn Monroe (Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words)

It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
Walt Disney

"Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!"
Bob Marley

"No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot."
Sarah Dessen (This Lullaby)

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
Bill Watterson (The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book)

"I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation."
Bill Watterson

"Why waste time learning when ignorance is instantaneous.
--Hobbes"
Bill Watterson

"calvin: dad where do babies come from?
Dad:well calvin you simply go to sears buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
calvin:i came from sears?
Dad:no you were a blue-light special at k mart almost as good and a lot cheaper!"
Bill Watterson

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
Thomas Stephen Szasz

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."
Sarah Dessen (The Truth about Forever)

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
Mark Twain

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend."
Sarah Dessen (Someone Like You)

"We’re sick of hearing people say, “That band is so gay,” or “Those guys are fags.” Gay is not a synonym for shitty. If you wanna say something’s shitty, say it’s shitty. Stop being such homophobic assholes."
Pete Wentz

"Here's to the kids.

The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party.
Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them.
Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars.
Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool.
Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV...and blame MTV for ruining their life.
Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts.
Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush.
Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night.
Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed.
Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower & didn't feel so alone after doing so.
Here's to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friend(s).
Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses & just don't care.
Here's to the kids who speak their mind.
Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep.
Here's to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do.
Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that.
Here's to the kids.
This one's not for the kids,
who always get what they want,
But for the ones who never had it at all.
It's not for the ones who never got caught,
But for the ones who always try and fall.
This one's for the kids who didnt make it,
We were the kids who never made it.
The Overcast girls and the Underdog Boys.
Not for the kids who had all their joys.
This one's for the kids who never faked it.
We're the kids who didn't make it.
They say "Breaking hearts is what we do best,"
And, "We'll make your heart be ripped of your chest"
The only heart that I broke was mine,
When I got My Hopes up too too high.
We were the kids who didnt make it.
We are the kids who never made it."
Pete Wentz

live for today, die for tomorrow

many quotes to still come (soon)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I know you've spent all morning listening to Mr. Broygo talk; I know you're hungry; what I need to tell you won't take very long at all. I don't like Alexander Cullen. I don't think he's a nice person. I don't expect you to like him. He's been a terrible husband to all three of his wives; he's been a destructive force in the lives of his stepchildren; he's cheated the city, his partners, his employees... So I don't like him. I'm going to tell you some things during the course of this trial that are going to make you like him even less. But this isn't a popularity contest; it's a murder trial.You know what scares me? I quit the case, she gets better, and I hate her for it.You're right. I did it all. I let her go. Alice LomaxBehold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves. DialogueKevin Lomax: "Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven", is that it?John Milton: Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections. I'm a fan of man. I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist.

[In Milton's Penthouse…]

Kevin Lomax: [quietly] Is there more to it?Eddie Barzoon: Just this room.Kevin Lomax: And a bedroom?Eddie Barzoon: No bedroom.Kevin Lomax: Where does he sleep?Eddie Barzoon: Who said he sleeps?Kevin Lomax: Where does he fuck?John Milton: [coming up to them] Everywhere!!

Kevin Lomax: It's a test right?

Pam: Isn't everything?

Kevin Lomax: Are we negotiating?

John Milton: Always.

John Milton: Oh, I have so many names.Kevin Lomax: Satan.John Milton: Call me Dad.

"Anyone who believes exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world is either a madman or an economist." Kenneth Boulding

"First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up, because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me." Martin Neimoller, Germany, 1945

"Sometimes, the dragon wins." Mike Carter, former PHS Teacher

"One's man's catastrophe is another man's opportunity." Arab Proverb

"Slowly, the animals looked from man to pig and from pig to man and from man to pig again, but already it was impossible to say which was which." George Orwell, Animal Farm

"I will show you fear in a handful of dust." T.S. Eliot, The Wasteland

"One of the most profound tragedies of human existence is to live at the end of a golden age - and know it." M.K. Wren, A Gift Upon the Shore

"This is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause." Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith

"They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'" Cold Mountain

"The appearance of law must be upheld, especially when it's being broken." Gangs of New York

"Your motto is service. Back on the farm, when I heard that the bull was 'servicing' the cows, I looked behind the barn. And, gentlemen, what the bull was doing to the cow is exactly what you people have been doing to the public all these years." Will Rogers to the Board of Directors of Standard Oil, as quoted by Morris K. Udall, 1988

"No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her own body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother." Margaret Sanger

"Adults, light-years away from this, rolled their eyes and smirked and said, "this too shall pass" - as if adolescence was a disease like chicken pox, something everyone recalled as a mild nuisance, completely forgetting how painful it had been at the time."
Jodi Picoult (The Pact)

"I don't belong to a religion. Religion's the reason the world's falling apart..." That's what religion does. It points a finger. It causes wars. It breaks apart countries. It's a petri dish for stereotypes to grow in. Religion's not about being holy," Shay said. "Just holier-than-thou."
Jodi Picoult (Change of Heart)

"Somewhere along the line, organized religion stopped being about faith, and started being about who had the power to keep the faith. You said that the purpose of religion was to bring people together. But does it, really? Or does it-knowingly, purposefully, and intentionally--break them apart?"
Jodi Picoult (Change of Heart)

Of course I'm out of my mind..It's dark and scary in there!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Diary of an Orphan (original writing) by BlAcKdAuGhTeR reviews
What if Sirius had a daughter? What would she be like? Jenna spent her early life in an orphanage until the appearance of a man named Remus Lupin changed her life forever. This is the Diary of an Orphan. HPGW, RWHG in future chapters and maybe HPOC.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 516,986 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 7/5 - Published: 6/15/2006 - [OC, Harry P.] - Complete
Twist by Galasriniel reviews
Post-TWS. Bucky turns himself in to what was once SHIELD so that he might get the help he needs shedding The Winter Soldier identity and to find the answers he's looking for. With the help of one of their linguists, he confronts his past, and has a shot at rediscovering himself and finding peace in a world full of chaos. BxOC Rating for language and adult situations.
Captain America - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 81,660 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 607 - Follows: 965 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 4/9/2014 - [Bucky B., OC] Steve R./Capt. America, Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow
Alright, Evans? by breezieair reviews
James Potter. Mr. Immature, Mr. Gross, Mr. Pervert,… Mr. I-want-to-lick-melted-chocolate-off-your-Quidditch-toned-golden-six-pack-and-watch-you-moan-WHAT! No. No. No. This is why going to Quidditch games is bad for your soul. It makes you pervy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 79,301 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 4/27 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Nappies and Naked Dancing by Pickled Rellish reviews
The Weasley twins mess up; big time and there to prove it, is a baby. A baby called Harry Potter. Sit back, kick your feet up, relax and read through the ensuing chaos that the prank has caused. AU Fifth Year. COMPLETED!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,239 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 519 - Updated: 4/7 - Published: 2/18/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L., Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 30343 - Favs: 16,735 - Follows: 14,588 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Beyond Repair by the typewriter improviser reviews
While World War II is raging on in Europe, Anna Brightman is just trying to get her chemistry degree. When she's offered a spot on a military project, working under Dr. Abraham Erskine, Anna leaves her lonely life in Manhattan, for the European Theater, where HYDRA is America's main threat. But when Bucky Barnes is next to her, war is the last thing she thinks about.
Captain America - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 54 - Words: 158,915 - Reviews: 775 - Favs: 614 - Follows: 624 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 7/22/2014 - [Bucky B., OC] Steve R./Capt. America, H. Stark - Complete
In Care Of by Fang's Fawn reviews
During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it...and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is. No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,781 - Reviews: 1613 - Favs: 5,763 - Follows: 2,265 - Updated: 2/3 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Disenchanted Lullaby by MsWolffe reviews
"Jack? What sort of name is that, anyway? Is it a diminutive of Jackaline or somethin? Nevermind, I'm Natalie. I'm from Scotland, a music student, perpetually broke, eternal fatalist; and I accept the posibility that there might exist a lot of things more than we humans know of. Oh, and I love fluffy rabbits. I don't s'ppose ye 'ave one?"
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 95,135 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 1/24 - Published: 1/30/2013 - Jack Frost - Complete
How to Make a Believer Believe by Marshmellowtime reviews
"I don't believe in fairy tales." "But...You can see me." "Yeah." "But you can only see me if you believe in me, so that means you do believe!" "I don't believe in fairy tales. Nor do I believe in snowy haired boys who float and bother girls walking home." "Sheesh, is there anything you do believe in?" "I believe that you don't exist. Does that count?" Jack/Oc
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 65,596 - Reviews: 733 - Favs: 859 - Follows: 1,048 - Updated: 12/31/2014 - Published: 11/23/2012 - Jack Frost
Harry Potter and the Trip to the Past by Priya Ashok reviews
COMPLETE! 19 years after the war with Voldemort Harry Potter is thrown 25 years into the past, arriving just before the start of his first year at Hogwarts. Please Read and Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 197,996 - Reviews: 2549 - Favs: 3,914 - Follows: 4,055 - Updated: 12/29/2014 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry's decision by Black Dreamz reviews
On his Eleventh birthday Harry Potter discovers that he is a wizard but that isn't the only secret Hagrid reveals. Harry's family is also alive. An attempt at the 'Wrong Boy Who lived, Harry's family is Alive'. Cliche Premise.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 28 - Words: 122,154 - Reviews: 737 - Favs: 1,161 - Follows: 1,639 - Updated: 11/28/2014 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Harry P.
Another Chance by Captain Cranium reviews
Complete! A cliché time travel story with a twist. After losing his friends and family to the war, Harry travels back in time to his fourteen year old self's body and tries to change the outcome of the Triwizard Tournament.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,456 - Reviews: 565 - Favs: 951 - Follows: 1,335 - Updated: 11/16/2014 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Intentional Scars by unique.normality reviews
The Weasley siblings got inked together for Fred after the war. Now it's Harry's turn, years later, to go under the needle... but his motives are rather different. Inspired by all the punk marauder/trio content on tumblr.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,972 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/3/2014 - Harry P., Ginny W., Teddy L. - Complete
Not That There's Anything Wrong with That by Lauralot reviews
Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier decides, would be supportive of Steve's relationship with Tony Stark. So the Soldier will be too. There's just one little problem: Steve and Tony aren't in a relationship.
Captain America - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,693 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/25/2014 - Published: 8/21/2014 - Steve R./Capt. America, Bucky B. - Complete
Live as I have lived and love as I have loved by wild wolf free17 reviews
In the worst possible timeline, Steve jumped after Bucky.
Crossover - Captain America & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,080 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/18/2014 - Published: 8/16/2014 - Steve R./Capt. America, Bucky B., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
The Future of the Past by The-Shy-Quiet-One reviews
What happens when you mix a giant time turner, a broken train, and a boy with a lightening bolt scar on his head? Some chaos, a few rather Maraudery pranks, and a whooooole lotta fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 43,953 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 8/10/2014 - Published: 8/14/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Honor Among Thieves by fullmetalgrigori reviews
Nimble body. Deadly aim. Sticky fingers. Quicksilver tongue. She's a thief with a heart of gold and a pathological liar with the very best of intentions. Put together? She's a most unlikely addition to the Avatar's traveling entourage.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 25 - Words: 263,742 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 8/10/2014 - Published: 9/22/2012 - Gaang, OC
Way Back Into Love by mrs-emmett-cullenx3 reviews
A year ago, Olivia Parker left Hogwarts without telling anybody, including her boyfriend Sirius Black, where she was going. Now she's back. Why did she leave in the first place, and can Sirius ever forgive her for what she did? JPLE, SBOC, RLOC. R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 76,950 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 7/3/2014 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Sirius B., OC
Eternal by TwistingMoonbeam reviews
Months after the movie. Charlotte Bennett hadn't believed in Jack Frost until she stumbled upon him one snow day, revealing a hidden ability. A powerful force desires Charlotte by their side, and will go to great lengths to have her. But Charlotte won't go down without a fight. Join her and the Guardians as they embark on one of their greatest adventures yet. R&R appreciated!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 44 - Words: 118,493 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 6/19/2014 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Jack Frost, Jamie - Complete
Games are afoot by grumpy grizzly reviews
It began when Arthur and Molly are out of the Burrow on Order business and Charlie and Bill are home to babysit. Fred challenges Hermione to think of something fun for them to do and she teaches them a muggle game. But, it continued and the games are afoo
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 175,337 - Reviews: 1634 - Favs: 1,132 - Follows: 1,232 - Updated: 6/3/2014 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Hermione G., Charlie W.
Disappear by Rirren reviews
Harry is transported into an alternate universe where he finds Sirius and his parents are still alive and he is Voldemort's most infamous deatheater. Post OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,608 - Reviews: 1118 - Favs: 1,292 - Follows: 1,276 - Updated: 4/17/2014 - Published: 1/8/2004 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Betrayed by Amber Akasha reviews
Harry is accused of murder and condemned to Azkaban. And even if he dies in that filthy hellhole, he'll get his revenge on those who backstabbed him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,850 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 3/7/2014 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Harry P.
Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,268 - Reviews: 5540 - Favs: 8,366 - Follows: 8,976 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Luna L.
Courage by BlueAsh666 reviews
Things were all going great, until Ashley had to go and get herself in a car crash. And then, some guy that reminded her of Slenderman comes up to her and tells her that she can turn into a bear now, as well as some other things. Oh, and her brother's imaginary friend, Jack? Turns out he's not so imaginary... Everything just keeps escalating for her... And it kinda sucks. Jack X OC
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 106,163 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 12/13/2013 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Jack Frost, OC - Complete
Rehabilitation by BlueAsh666 reviews
Because sometimes, even the strongest need help, regardless of whether or not they'll admit it. Even IF that help is from a skinny, pale teen that has a crush, because when you don't even consider the possibility of needing help, you don't get the option of choice. And besides... he's growing on her. Human!JackxOC Courage!Au
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,679 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12/4/2013 - Published: 11/1/2013 - [Jack Frost, OC] Jack's sister
Uncrowned Lord of Azkaban by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
At the end of first year eleven-year-old Harry is arrested for killing Quirrell. In Azkaban he befriends the Dementors, meets his godfather, institutes a regular poker game and ponders the question of a union for Dementors. Crack!fic. Obviously.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,365 - Reviews: 422 - Favs: 1,868 - Follows: 1,930 - Updated: 11/28/2013 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Harry P.
Crossroads by AnimeFlowerGirl reviews
It all started with a prank. Then, it progressed into a friendship. After, it bloomed into a romance. It all ended with – "Fred!" Zoey screamed, running to him and knelt by his side, holding his face in her hands. "No… NO! Don't you dare leave me! You promised!"
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 89 - Words: 493,908 - Reviews: 836 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 267 - Updated: 10/29/2013 - Published: 1/23/2011 - OC, Fred W.
TwentyEight Spins by Sweetest Flower-n-Tallest Stag reviews
Five year old Harry goes back in time with a little help from a session in the cupboard under the stairs. He encounters James and Lily, seventh years at the moment. Voldemort hunts Harry down while he is at Hogwarts...and a curse is put upon him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,073 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 9/17/2013 - Published: 2/10/2007 - Harry P., James P.
50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Lily writes a list of things that James is forbidden to do. 4 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst wearing a bright pink tutu and ballet shoes. 5 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst attempting to grope McGonagall. FOURTH ONESHOT POSTED :
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,060 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 302 - Updated: 8/18/2013 - Published: 7/19/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Remembrance by Water Solace reviews
"I'm going away, but I'll be back," she told him on that day. Memories have flooded and haunted her ever since. She made a promise, but was it real? What would she do given the opportunity to return? She had to keep that promise... *Sequel to OTSATS*
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 120,504 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 8/9/2013 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Gaara, Naruto U. - Complete
Sometimes, I Wonder by Silver Crescent Eclipse reviews
Harry's twin brother, Chase, is believed to be the Chosen One while Harry is neglected. But the night the Potter's are attacked Harry is the one that is hit with the curse and survives, but get's sent to another place...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 91,967 - Reviews: 1164 - Favs: 2,070 - Follows: 2,499 - Updated: 7/16/2013 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Harry P.
The Path That Moonbeams Make by KnifeEdge reviews
Emma likes to sleep with her window open. She never quite realized who she'd be inviting in. All things considered, however, Captain Hook showing up in her bedroom after midnight is hardly the worst of his offenses. Emma knows how to handle Hook. (AU post "Welcome to Storybrooke". Unapologetically Captain Swan.)
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,633 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 1,356 - Follows: 571 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 4/10/2013 - Emma S., Killian Jones/Captain Hook - Complete
About A Girl by SouthernBlossom reviews
Ten-year-old Lily Wesley has just lost the only parents she's ever known. But she's about to find out that there's a whole lot more to her than she'd ever thought, and that she has family she never knew about. Rated T for possible spanking of minors.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 56,730 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 5/11/2013 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Complete
Knob of the Turner by Blouta reviews
In a desperate attemp to set things right, Harry plans to go back to his first year. But when all goes wrong, he finds himself thrown into 1977 where more people than just his Godfather are alive.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,445 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 384 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Harry P., James P.
What you've always wanted to know by dgatson reviews
My first fanfic. Everything from last chapter The Flaw in the Plan of Deathly Hallows to Epilogue :p marriages, deaths, happiness, and births. oh yes. lots and lots of Weasley grandchildren rated T to be sure.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,347 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 1/28/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
A Maurader Reading Of : The Darkness Within by MissMoonyLover reviews
Adaption of "The Darkness Within" by Kurinoone. Currently being reworked.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 3/29/2013 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort
Reunion by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,134 - Reviews: 1695 - Favs: 3,967 - Follows: 3,137 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Complete
The Unbreakable Vow by Ash Darklighter reviews
Strange lights are seen across a deserted country lane. The wizarding world is calling him home.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 264,559 - Reviews: 1667 - Favs: 1,649 - Follows: 1,863 - Updated: 2/24/2013 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Erasing History by padawan lynne reviews
When his family is killed by someone he once called a friend, Harry is devastated. Thrown back in time, he decides to change history and save his family. After all, no one ever said what time the Prophecy had to be fulfilled in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 49 - Words: 267,681 - Reviews: 2279 - Favs: 2,904 - Follows: 3,128 - Updated: 2/10/2013 - Published: 4/3/2008
Founders' Heirs by fhrulz21 reviews
AU preHBP. Harry and Company are sent to an alternate universe where his parents are still alive, he is dead and Voldemort is still very active. The twist, they have just beaten Voldemort in their dimension by uniting Hogwarts as the Founder's Heirs. HG,
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 73,585 - Reviews: 795 - Favs: 1,699 - Follows: 2,052 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 12/11/2005
(yeah just like me) she was a victim of the night by cupid-painted-blind reviews
Prompted from fyesemmaandhook on tumblr. —- Emma's getting married in the morning to someone she's never met — some prince from some rich, powerful kingdom on the other side of the continent — and so she needs to make tonight last. And the foreign pirate who'd shown up to rob her blind at her engagement ball will help her do just that. Captain Swan. Shamelessly, gleefully AU.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,143 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Emma S., Killian Jones/Captain Hook - Complete
The Small Things by CarlieD reviews
What would've happened if Sirius had never gone after Peter?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,553 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 12/14/2012 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Remus L., Harry P.
Potter's Daughters & the Time Vortex by PardoxPixie reviews
During an attack that kills his family, an accident sends Harry's daughters back in time to 1975. Harry goes after them- but in 1975 the first war against Voldemort is still going on, how can Harry stay out of it? Should he? Harry teaches DADA while he figure out what to do. Post-DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,208 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 9/4/2009 - Lily Luna P., Harry P.
Harry Potter: Chosen One by Ravenclaw-Girl28 reviews
Harry and Hayden are twins. Hayden is presumed to be the BWL while Harry is forgotten. Harry lives with the Dursleys, Hayden lives with his parents. Separated for 6 years, the Potter twins reunite at Hogwarts...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 138,878 - Reviews: 1463 - Favs: 2,532 - Follows: 2,884 - Updated: 11/9/2012 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Harry P.
Back Again, Harry? by Jedi Buttercup reviews
Harry makes a different choice in King's Cross and is given the double edged gift of a second chance. Time Travel AU, DH canon. WIP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 70,606 - Reviews: 3176 - Favs: 5,914 - Follows: 7,978 - Updated: 10/9/2012 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Harry P.
Lost In Time by m. diddy reviews
Erica Costello gets her hands on a wonky timeturner and is sent back in time to the 1970s. She is forced to hide from Voldemort at Hogwarts with MWPP. Full summary inside. SBOC and eventual JPLE. AU after Harry's 6th year. Rated T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 86,753 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 8/29/2012 - Published: 3/26/2008 - Sirius B., OC
Dear Bill by RomanticlyXTragic reviews
Bill becomes the new DADA professor at Hogwarts during the trio's 7th year. Hermione is having trouble with a certain red headed boy...but which one?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 31,505 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 310 - Updated: 8/11/2012 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Bill W., Hermione G. - Complete
Black Waters by dancergirl7 reviews
The Noble and Ancient House of Black accepts nothing but the finest purebloods, and Andromeda Black prides herself on fitting this category. Can a certain Muggle-born make her question all her beliefs or will she throw him away like an old Daily Prophet?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 58,822 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Andromeda T., Ted T.
PS: I Hate You by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
Regulus writes a rude note to Voldemort...and starts a trend.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 22,940 - Reviews: 866 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 7/31/2012 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Regulus B.
A Timmy Quickie Series by Pale18 reviews
Usually the "Timmy Quickies" are seperate, so now I'm keeping them together. Thus, the Timmy Quickie SERIES! Fourth Quickie: Too Violent for Minors: Rosamund had never met Timmy before...
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,194 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/30/2012 - Published: 1/30/2010
Warrior's Heir by Osireia reviews
DEAD. Harry is thrown into a world where purebloods are condemned, Tom Riddle is the Boy Who Lived, and the Dark Lord is someone he'd never suspect. Will his emerging abilities be enough? Should he support Riddle - or the Dark Lord? No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 164,771 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 1,381 - Follows: 1,484 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Carry On by Teenlaunch reviews
Harry suddenly finds himself in the time of the Marauders and in deep trouble. Will he be able to hide his identity from the Marauders? And will he realize the family he has wanted for so long is right beside him? timetravel, bondingfamily fic, AU no DH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 134,024 - Reviews: 1562 - Favs: 1,563 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Harry P., Remus L.
Looking Glass Wars by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
Two Shot. In some ways, losing Zuko is worse than losing Lu Ten.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,619 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 875 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 10/18/2010 - Zuko, Iroh - Complete
Fire with Fire by BlackDragon95 reviews
Rey is a 16 year old girl who can control fire. But whats different about her? She's on team Avatar! Follow her adventures in this world and how she's going to affect a certain prince... Starts in book 1 the waterbender master
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,040 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/27/2012 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Zuko
It Must Be Fate by brittany-anderson reviews
A story about if Rose never slipped on the railing and Cal/the officers weren't inolved after Jack saves her from her suicide attempt. Rated T but some chapters will be M.
Titanic - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,079 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/25/2012 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Rose D., Jack D.
The Love of Fred Weasley by RomanticlyXTragic reviews
Hermione reflects on her relationship with Fred on the anniversary of his death with his twin. Rated T for later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,909 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 5/23/2012 - Published: 9/6/2007 - Fred W., Hermione G. - Complete
Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart reviews
Summer before third year Harry has a life changing experience, and a close encounter with a dementor ends with him absorbing the horcrux within him. Features Harry with a backbone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 483,646 - Reviews: 14795 - Favs: 7,918 - Follows: 7,029 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Harry P.
Harry by pjjammjamm reviews
Not your normal travel-through-time fic. All the questions you've ever wondered about the Marauders, answered through Harry's little trip through time. But is Harry able to change the past? Can Harry get back home? And does he even want to?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 31,246 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Harry P.
Dead or Alive? by ZukoLuvahh reviews
When Harry called out Sirius' name into the mirror, no one responded. Harry goes to sleep, dissapointed, only to find his parents' and Sirius' smiling faces staring up at him from the mirror. PLEASEE R&R ur suggestions are always appreciated : THANKS :
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 31,786 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 1/30/2012 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Of Christmas Past by Chaser921 reviews
In Godric's Hollow on the Winter Solstice, HPGW step into a stone circle and are transported back in time seventeen years. They meet his parents, and Harry has to learn what is really important. He also has to deal with his relationship with Ginny.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,168 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 1/28/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Double Take by Separate Entity reviews
I was reading Huntress, and I thought that the end might be cool from Morgead's point of view. Here it is. I might go back and do the beginning later. Enjoy!
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,749 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 12/1/2011 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Jezebel R., Morgead B.
In Need of a Hero by thepenspal reviews
When Lily Potter translates a spell that can bring someone with the power to defeat Voldemort into their world, the last thing she and the order expected was a skinny seventeen year old Harry Potter. Story is back and will be finished.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 30,197 - Reviews: 1084 - Favs: 2,489 - Follows: 3,374 - Updated: 11/15/2011 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Harry P., James P.
Parenthood by AnimeIceFox reviews
This is going to be a small series of one shots that are all about baby Harry and his parents. Ahh, the joys of parenthood. Will be part Wizard and part Muggle situations.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,927 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
BLOODlight by Hel-Lokisdotter reviews
Bella Black and Bella Swan - one's a sadistic seventh-year Slytherin, the other's a 'normal' and adorably clumsy teenage hormone-heap. What happens when they suddenly swap lives? Well, a bloodbath in Forks, to start with... Violent, bloody fun!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,960 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bellatrix L., Bella
All Thanks to a Memory by Zuvie Girl reviews
Time travel fic. Harry is thrown back in time due to a special memory, and gets to spend time with his teenage parents while he is teaching.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,948 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 10/18/2011 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Balance by VickyVicarious reviews
Eventually Sokka realizes that Aang does not embody 'balance' the way an Avatar supposedly should. No, weirdly enough it's Zuko who does that instead.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,701 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 1,014 - Follows: 102 - Published: 8/17/2011 - Sokka, Zuko - Complete
The Hogwarts Rules by aliceinwonderland2000 reviews
There is a list of rules for Hogwarts...but how did they come about? Why are students not allowed to sing "We're off to see the wizard" when going to see Professor Dumbledore, or paint houselves blue and call them smurfs? Find out here...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,029 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 9/13/2009 - James P., Fred W.
The Trio and Ginny Read Fanfiction by Lady Alinor reviews
One fine day at the Burrow, Harry and Ginny relaxing on the couch, and Hermione is reading something on her laptop. 'Hermione, what are you reading,' Ron asks. 'Oh, just a bit of fanfiction...' she says lightly. Therein lies the tale. DH spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,334 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Complete
Sympathy for the Devil by K.Blood reviews
For Jenny and Julian a moment of understanding becomes something more.
Forbidden Game series - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Julian, Jenny - Complete
Just A Name by PrioritiesSorted reviews
What is in a name? In the end, did it matter that he was a Malfoy and she was a Potter? In the end, he was just Scorpius and she was just Lily... why shouldn't they be friends?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 84,686 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Lily Luna P., Scorpius M.
Time Travel what? by Harrypotterlover56 reviews
Harry, Head Auror,boyfriend to Ginny, Gets hit with a spell from a captured Death eater and wakes up 7 years earlier. Will Harry Change the future? Was anyone else brought back in time. Contains Deathly Hallows Spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 56,181 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 7/10/2011 - Published: 12/4/2009 - Harry P.
Time Warp by Kittenn1011 reviews
Harry Potter wakes up one morning in the body of his ten-year-old self. This time around, he declares, no way anyone's going to die! -And it's gonna be totally awesome- "People shouldn't meddle with time, Potter." Little did they know...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 37 - Words: 116,434 - Reviews: 962 - Favs: 1,689 - Follows: 2,160 - Updated: 6/28/2011 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Harry, In Slytherin by Harpygirl24 reviews
Harry Potter gets sorted into Slytherin and finds this house very difficult. Of course that won’t stop him from finally meeting Voldemort and also finding out that not all Slytherins are evil. Includes a somewhat nice Snape, and evil Draco, an anti-social
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 122 - Words: 143,812 - Reviews: 840 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 6/19/2011 - Published: 2/25/2009 - OC, Harry P.
When Worlds Collide by sunmoonwriter89 reviews
A young American girl wakes to find herself in a room with six Harry Potter characters who turn out to be shockingly real. As she learns more about the world of magic, she slowly realizes that she must play a pivotal part in the war between good and evil.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 32 - Words: 82,196 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 6/15/2011 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Fred W., OC - Complete
Padfoot Prohibited by Ever-Changing Anthem reviews
*Currently being re-vamped!* The Seventh-Years are given an assignment before they leave school – an essay instructing incoming First Years on how to succeed at Hogwarts. Sirius Black jumps at the chance to leave his detention-ridden legacy behind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,830 - Reviews: 812 - Favs: 784 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/5/2011 - Published: 4/19/2004 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Password ? by xandromedax reviews
The Fat Lady's POV from the moment of her creation to the second generation of the Potter and Weasley kids. What does she experience through 1000 years of guarding Gryffindor Tower, from the Founders to the Marauders to the Golden Trio and their kids?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 12,026 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 6/4/2011 - Published: 4/19/2010 - The Fat Lady, Harry P.
Patchwork Wishes by DracaDelirus reviews
AU Harry Potter's Holidays: Little Harry wants his Christmas wish to come true this year. Maybe if he makes his own lucky angel it will. But can his luck hold out for the rest of the holidays? Maybe if he wishes very hard...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 431,492 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 5/11/2011 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Not for Anything: The Marauders' Tale by Penitent Rebel reviews
James Potter and Sirius Black were the best of friends. This is their story. Spans the Marauders' schooldays and possibly beyond. Technically a companion piece to my "Not for Anything" series, but can easily stand alone. Rated T.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 44 - Words: 215,951 - Reviews: 606 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 4/30/2011 - Published: 4/24/2010 - James P., Sirius B.
51 Ways to annoy Remus Lupin by Tonkswyrda reviews
Sirius gets bored. Tonks helps him come up with a list to annoy Remus. I wonder what will happen...? OMG I UPDATED ONLY TWO YEARS LATE ENJOY IF YOURE STILL READING LOLOL.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,187 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 4/28/2011 - Published: 10/9/2008 - N. Tonks, Remus L.
Out of Time by forever-ami92 reviews
What if Lord Voldemort were to return? As a teenager? Rose and Scorpius are now together, but will they be able to deal with this new development? Sequel to Changes but can be read on its own. Please R and R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,143 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Lily Luna P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Independence Day by lferg reviews
Freedom. Harry decides it's high time he started to fight for his. Cannon 'till HBP. Alternate 6 year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,635 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 542 - Updated: 4/14/2011 - Published: 11/13/2009 - Harry P., OC
The Unkindness of the Ravens by Goodnight Sunrise reviews
Adelicia Fleren, daughter to the Minister of Magic, supposedly has the perfect life. Rich, famous, popular, beautiful. However, she actually is outcasted by her family for breaking tradition of being sorted. After the last straw, her life goes downhill.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,596 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/6/2011 - Published: 1/25/2009 - OC, Sirius B.
The Change From Hatred To Love by sydneysages reviews
seventh year: their last year at Hogwarts and James plans to make Lily his before he leaves. How hard can it be - now he has HeadBoy duty with her 5 times a week? read the path of true love - thought to be non-existant, take its course into being!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,861 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/23/2011 - Published: 7/29/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Is there something here? by sydneysages reviews
harry and tonks, perfect couple? Follow them through the path of life and their love prevailing? what barriers will stand in their way, and what will they be? will they make it to the end or will they fail - if they do: for what reasons? VOTE MY POLL PLZ!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 49 - Words: 79,622 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 3/23/2011 - Published: 6/5/2010 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
Soul Mated by DaftWoman reviews
Post war the Ministry enacts a marriage law, but that's okay with Hermione because she and Ron finally have their happy ending. Don't they? EWE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,198 - Reviews: 580 - Favs: 652 - Follows: 1,059 - Updated: 3/14/2011 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Hermione G., Bill W.
Reactions to the Legend by amber-chick reviews
AU Sirius is freed after the tournament and is Harrys guardian. Everything is normal until Harry let something slip making Sirius & Remus realize that they don't know about Harry's first 2 years. Now Harry has to explain all the death defying stunts. Oh dear...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,502 - Reviews: 1544 - Favs: 3,001 - Follows: 1,816 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
100 Ways Robin's Like a Banana by Lizzylizzer reviews
As an advertising favor to the city, the Titans are taking classes at the local arts school. Raven needs to write a comparative paper, and picks an unfortunate topic. How exactly is Robin like a banana, besides their both being fruits?
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 31,110 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Raven, Robin - Complete
50 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape by Lupa Dracolis reviews
In which Snape gets rick rolled, loses the game, gets sneezed on, gets charmed red and gold, and followed around by a bottle of shampoo. T because I wouldn't feel safe otherwise.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 8,435 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
Sirius' Savior by Silverfawkes reviews
AU Sirius took Harry that night and left. What happened after that is my story. ?able Dumbledore Sirius OOC Rating for occasional language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 68 - Words: 179,902 - Reviews: 1795 - Favs: 2,460 - Follows: 1,516 - Updated: 2/14/2011 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
Window to His Soul by bfungus reviews
While relaxing from their latest battle, the titans find that they have a visitor, and she has mysterious relations to our favorite Boy Wonder. But what exactly is her motive? Cyborg's sure of one thing: it's about to get a little interesting in the tower
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Robin
Don't Let It Go To Your Head by Aurore Day reviews
Formerly Ew. About a girl who was completely in control... and that one boy who just had to mess things up. Aria Colette. Sirius/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 147,512 - Reviews: 616 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Grief, Deceptions, and Hope for Freedom by AnnF reviews
The first time Harry escapes his monitors after events in Dumbledore's office he receives a letter from Sirius that may be the key to a decent life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 55,162 - Reviews: 1577 - Favs: 2,581 - Follows: 3,386 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 5/2/2005 - Harry P., Neville L.
I Can See My Feet! by kimmiesue reviews
Hermione gets drunk one night and is brought to the Burrow. Charlie is the only one up, so he takes her in. Starts off rocky, eventual Charmione. To expect: one knocked up Hermione and furious Ron! Oh fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,066 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Hermione G., Charlie W.
The Strength of Family by Foria reviews
AU: Harry Potter was always a lonely child who received no love from his family. What if, instead of being an only child he had a younger sister to take care of and love? How different would the Potter-verse be from that one little change?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 144,036 - Reviews: 910 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 1,105 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Not for Anything: The Triwizard Tournament by Penitent Rebel reviews
Part Four of the "Not for Anything" series. AU. James Potter is alive and raising Harry. Goes through Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts. Rated T.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 141,175 - Reviews: 1006 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Broken Hope by clearblueskies reviews
2nd gen: Lily's is now in her 5th year.She has OWLs, and has to get over Teddy. She also has to help her friends with their non-existant love lives. Sounds like it's going to be one hell of a year! LLP/OC, RW/SM, Hugo Weasley/OC, ASP/OC. FIC ABANDONED.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,536 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/9/2011 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Lily Luna P. - Complete
Let There Be by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
One Shot. She breathes in, and it's death. She breathes out, and it's sorrow. Kyoshi never wanted to be the Avatar.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 553 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Kyoshi - Complete
Twin World by Merryn reviews
When Harry is revealed to be a Horcrux his friends,to save their world and him, try the only thing they can think of; sending him to another reality. He didn't expect it to work. Or to see his parents.Or the him who isn't him and the him he wishes wasn't.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 38,548 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Harry P.
Boyfriend by Molly Raesly reviews
Potter was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,472 - Reviews: 2458 - Favs: 4,588 - Follows: 1,029 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Choices by Aebbe reviews
Thrown back nearly fifty years in time, she has the chance to change the past. To right wrongs and correct mistakes. But in doing so, could she change the future? And is it even possible to change things that have already happened? Choices can be very hard to make. Canon compliant...? Read and find out. (Part of the Dark League story arc, but can be read as a stand alone)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 182,855 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 12/20/2010 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Lily Luna P., Sirius B. - Complete
One Touch by Kittiesrock25 reviews
The iceberg may have never hit the Titanic, but it came close, so when Rose touches it, and sees what would've happened if that iceberg was an inch closer, what will her reaction be? Suck at summaries, ONESHOT. Jack/Rose
Titanic - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,006 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Rose D., Jack D. - Complete
The Mad Hatter Ponders by missylaroux reviews
One Shot. The Mad Hatter thinks about where he went wrong with Alice and how he could fix it.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/7/2010 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Alice, Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
Familiar Faces by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
One Shot. Her tears are blood on his skin, and she weeps until she breaks entirely. They named the girl Korra.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Sokka, Katara - Complete
Not in 1997 Anymore by butterflyinwater reviews
Hermione is knocked out by a Death Eater during Bill's Wedding and is sent back to Charlie's 7th year, he immediately takes a liking to her but things get a little unexpected, Ron's feelings develop for her as she is gone and horcrux hunt continues. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,640 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Charlie W., Hermione G.
To Where You Are by CG Anna Marie reviews
A young woman grieves the death of her favorite book character and admittedly love of her life , Sirius Black. But what will she do when she finds the supposedly "deceased" man in her own backyard?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,889 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 7/20/2003 - Sirius B., OC
Dare to Believe by xo-ally reviews
When James steals Lily's embarrassing lacy black push-up bra at Platform 9 3/4, she'll do anything to get it back. To make it worse, they are paired up together for their Muggle Studies course. Can they learn to work together if they want to graduate?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,518 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/9/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P.
A Different Promise by Owl of the Moon reviews
One shot. Rose returns the favor and saves Jack.
Titanic - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Rose D., Jack D. - Complete
Ten Things I Loath About You by Verekai reviews
I hated Sirius Black with a passion. He was the most pompous, conceited, pusillanimous, antagonizing git I had ever had the misfortune of meeting. Now, after three years apart, he was in Flourish and Blott's. And I was hiding behind the counter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,450 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Sirius B., OC
After the Second Rise by redfeathersky reviews
AU, post fifth book. Without a Portkey, Harry is forced to fight his way out of the Cemetery at the end of the Fourth Book. He is tortured, hunted, and learns how to kill to survive. A story of the hardships of recovery and rebirth.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 197,876 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 778 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 10/18/2010 - Published: 1/15/2007 - Complete
Hold Me While I'm Here by Nitte iz reviews
Dumbledore gives Harry an offer he can't refuse. A year at Hogwarts without constant whispering, life-threatening situations, or Voldemort. How? By taking a trip to when Marauders were still faithful and 16. !Um, make that one out of three!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 139,503 - Reviews: 4178 - Favs: 3,999 - Follows: 4,209 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 9/8/2003 - Harry P., James P.
Things Unsaid by Shadowed Shinobi reviews
The last words of each departed Harry Potter character, if only they could have been said.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 77 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 2476 - Favs: 1,934 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 10/6/2010 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Complete
Being No Potter by wilyoldjane reviews
After the fall of Voldemort, Harry´s brother Owen is hailed the savior. Now, what will happen to Harry?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,411 - Reviews: 574 - Favs: 976 - Follows: 1,308 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Harry P., Neville L.
The Brotherhood by MajorBookworm94 reviews
Sirius Black and Harry Potter meet inside Azkaban. They are both innocent and escape together. Meanwhile, all their former friends fear for their lives. Some father/son bonding. Not Slash. AU obviously. COMPLETE but BEING EDITED at the moment.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 51 - Words: 56,792 - Reviews: 467 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L., Ginny W.
Mocking by Wakingtoadream reviews
They claimed it was for the best, They pulled me out from the cage, Painted me with fire, And clipped my wings.
Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 220 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Katniss E. - Complete
Mad With Hunger by Geeky-DMHG-Fan reviews
My take on the story of Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta. Repost of old story, with a few changes.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 36,970 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 9/16/2010 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Finnick O., Annie C.
Into the Past by lferg reviews
Harry and Teddy time travel to the past to OotP. Unsure of how and not knowing how to return and definetly unable to prevent changing past events they are in some pickle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,008 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 516 - Follows: 617 - Updated: 9/15/2010 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Harry P.
The Odds Were Never In Our Favor by Skey reviews
I'm going to die. I don't know how to fight or kill. I, like anyone else around here, never grasped the concept. We, people of the Capitol, out of the reach of the Games, never realized the truth. That people died. That someday, we might be the pawns.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,458 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 9/11/2010
Catch by Wanda A. Streigh reviews
He's the Boy who Lived. She's fifteen and unaware that she's a witch. After a chance meeting and a scuffle with dementors, she is swept into the wizarding world, where the two find adventure, friendship, betrayal, and more. Begins in the fifth book.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,093 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Harry P., OC
Harry Potter and the Warlord by deconneur reviews
Post HBP. Harry somehow accomplished is destiny, but died. Landing in an other world, where he is 6, have siblings & parents, a world that knows nothing of the horrors of war, he tries to make a difference, but which one?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 124,279 - Reviews: 936 - Favs: 1,988 - Follows: 2,491 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 12/11/2006 - Harry P., Remus L.
Unsung Hero by MeghanReviews reviews
COMPLETED Harry Potter enters his 7th year at Hogwarts ignored and friendless because his brother Daniel is the Boy Who Lived. *** Badass Horcruxes. *** Read the author note on profile before you start. Thanks!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 211,878 - Reviews: 7012 - Favs: 7,302 - Follows: 4,195 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 4/18/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Where The Heart Is by Lizzie9 reviews
A confession, a beginning, a call for help. Their countries at risk. An ex girlfriend with the only answers. A mid season 6 Tiva tale of coming together in the present and overcoming their pasts before they destroy their future.
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,361 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Ziva D., Tony D.
Joined at the Hip by Livelier reviews
After six years of James chasing Lily and failing, Sirius decides to take matters into his own hands...Oh, Merlin. Things could get crazy. Rated T for later chapters and a bit of language. R&R? Final chapter is up!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,688 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Pranks to obessions by Bunpire sapphirerocks reviews
random conversations that everyone does in circle daybreak,ranging from prank calls to weird obessions.pls read n review :
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,687 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 2/21/2010
Failure Of The Light by LordJahel reviews
Harry realises Dumbledore and the Weasleys have been lying to him and decides to take his life into his own hands. HarryGinny NevilleLuna Character Bashing: WeasleysDumbledore Disclaimer I own nothing, Except the plot. ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,004 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 9/5/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Shadow of a Doubt by ZairaAlbereo reviews
Sirius didn't get that newspaper from Fudge and never broke out of prison. The summer after his uneventful third year in Hogwarts, Harry receives a letter from the Ministry that turns his world up-side-down. He has a godfather?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 30,278 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 337 - Follows: 481 - Updated: 8/15/2010 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B.
The Return of the Father by Stars Enchantress reviews
A summer storm ruins any plans that the occupants of the Burrow may have, but with it comes a unexpected arrival. With it, comes James Potter. Alive and well. Set after GoF.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 158,257 - Reviews: 3940 - Favs: 2,694 - Follows: 1,883 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 9/12/2004 - Harry P., James P.
Fiancée by Molly Raesly reviews
"I dropped my fork. Did he really just say that? Smehkaleen." The much awaited sequel to Molly Raesly's "Boyfriend."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 82,420 - Reviews: 872 - Favs: 1,604 - Follows: 536 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
With 'His' Child by ChocolateRosePetals reviews
The world she knew is at war. The man she loves broke left to fight the opposing forces. Her sixth year at school is spent defying the headmaster. But to top it off she is 16 and pregnant by the Darkest figure in history. How could life get any worse?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,466 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Ginny W.
Harry Potter and The Trust by Meandering Fox reviews
Harry goes to sleep at 31, but wakes up on his 10th birthday in the cupboard under the stairs. Voldemort is still alive, as are many others. Can Harry end the second war before it starts? DH compliant, mostly. Bill, Remus, Dumbledore, and many more...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 108,462 - Reviews: 1418 - Favs: 2,194 - Follows: 2,721 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Harry P., Albus D.
Dead Men Don't Bleed by notevenhere reviews
Harry's life with the Dursleys has never been ideal. He's learned to accept that. Sirius doesn't think he should have to.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 30,760 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 1,038 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Til the Summer Comes Around by sweet.bravery reviews
Two-shot. Miranda & Leo's thoughts as they go their separate ways.
Sea Change, Aimee Friedman - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,058 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Miranda M., Leo M. - Complete
Founders, Marauders, and Misshapen Timeturners by logic-is-for-losers reviews
Scorpius Malfoy has created a timeturner. Rose and Albus don't believe him. Do you really expect him to stand for that? Time travel fic, RxS mainly, with oodles of side pairings. GOING THROUGH REVISION. SLOWLY. BECAUSE I PROCRASTINATE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,861 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 8/18/2009 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Hogwarts chatroom by HarryPotterFanGirlForever reviews
the characters of Harry Potter talk in a chatroom. Funny randomness and love happen. Harry/Luna, more Hermione/Draco at the begening but less in the later chapters. Hr/D and H/L are main two couples though.Gets better in later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 17,700 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/16/2010 - Published: 5/10/2009
A Change of Heart by Shadowed Shinobi reviews
People change, inevitably. Albus Dumbledore had, in the decade or so since he began at Hogwarts. He only realized to what extent after a conversation with a battered wizard's hat in the Headmaster's office. The change was not one he liked.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Albus D. - Complete
Evil Kingdom by The Fourth Black Sister reviews
Teddy wants his grandmother to tell him a bedtime story about an evil king. Andromeda decides to take someone evil, and place them as king to tell a story she knew all too well.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 535 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Andromeda T., Teddy L. - Complete
Another Year of Christmas Disasters by SilverWolf7007 reviews
The Gryffindor Common Room has a palm tree, a small forest of pine trees, more tinsel than can possibly be safe, and the constant sound of drums. Obviously, Harry is personalizing the Twelve Days of Christmas. Backwards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
An Unusual Case by alittleinsane963 reviews
A Muggle style murder of a Navy Commander's child at Hogwarts? Well, that certainly warrents a call to NCIS!
Crossover - Harry Potter & NCIS - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 65 - Words: 157,566 - Reviews: 2214 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 395 - Updated: 6/11/2010 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Complete
Nargelites by PerfesserN reviews
A Harry / Luna / Hermione story that begs the question, what would have happened if Harry had met Luna before either of them attended Hogwarts? Also, what if Harry reminded Severus Snape of Lily Evans, rather than James Potter?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 68,832 - Reviews: 1121 - Favs: 1,750 - Follows: 2,135 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Forgotten Stars by Tabithatibi reviews
Who said life ended at death? This is the story of Lily and James after they die. Should be quite sad, quite funny, and quite this-and-that at times, if you know what I mean. I've put Humour and family as the genres, but they might change. R&R! Tabs :D
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,505 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/6/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Soul Mage by Narutoscreed reviews
Pre Hogwarts divergence. Harry has familial powers and three years with a ghostly member of his family to learn them before he enters Hogwarts. How will these powers shape the boy and his life?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,357 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 498 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Harry P., Lily Evans P.
Parenting Prep by makesmewonderx3 reviews
She gave a warm smile to each of us, taking a look around the large classroom. "Your primary assignment will be to experience pregnancy with a partner that will be assigned to you." *Disregards DH!*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 60 - Words: 71,506 - Reviews: 1028 - Favs: 655 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Story of Emerald by TheDragonsTiger5 reviews
James is the most popular guy in school... Lily Evans is an outcast.. when he finds a seemingly harmless book, he has no clue what he is about to find out, and when he discovers it. what will he do to change the girl the book is about? rest of it inside!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,821 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 5/21/2003 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Wouldn't It Be Good by black4minister reviews
Sirius was the unchallenged king of strange ideas, or at least that's what James liked to say. And you know, he was the one who had to listen to the most of these ideas, so he would know. Some fun humour - just like usual!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
false smiles and fake laughter by trixxieWeasley reviews
"and she can't help but just love, love, love him so much" teddylily
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,334 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Teddy L., Lily Luna P. - Complete
Elements by omgluvr24 reviews
A new arrival at Hogwarts, one who's magic isn't like anyone else's, creates quite a stir. This girl uses the elements instead of a wand for magic. Rating subject to change.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,186 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 9/28/2009
You'll Be Standing in the Sunshine by howlsatthemoon reviews
But I must admit, Teddy Lupin can be a bit of an idiot. / The one where Lily kisses someone else.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Lily Luna P., Teddy L. - Complete
these stars belong to you now by with the monsters reviews
Draco and Roxanne, 'though the world keeps spinning.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,971 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Draco M., Roxanne W. - Complete
the sky will clear by howlsatthemoon reviews
"Not even dragons could stop me," he promises. "I'll fight each and every one ntil I'm by your side again." / Lily and Teddy are made of promises meant to be broken.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 949 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/7/2010 - Teddy L., Lily Luna P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Unknown Corridor by Raven-Blackwood reviews
Harry Potter returns for his first day of 6th year and things dont work out how he hoped. Then he finds a corridor thats been unused for a long time and the secrets it holds. AU. DaphneGxOC. Herm, Ron and Dumbledore bashing. Smart Harry. Timetravel.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,943 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 5/6/2010 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Harry P., OC
Dragon Slayers Have Hearts, Too by howlsatthemoon reviews
Love is love, even for a dragon. / Ten things about Lily Luna Potter. Lily/Teddy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,382 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Lily Luna P., Teddy L. - Complete
Harry Potter: the Other Child by Ryders on the Storm reviews
When everyone thinks Harry's brother is the BWL, Harry rises from the shadow of the brother to become more than anyone expected. HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 115,502 - Reviews: 2361 - Favs: 2,906 - Follows: 3,258 - Updated: 4/26/2010 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Of Lavender Soap and Hot Chocolate Love by howlsatthemoon reviews
There's this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. What could it possibly be? Jealousy? Love? Oh, he's probably just hungry or something. / Lily and Teddy before the complications arose. For Ellie, aka silveraurora.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Lily Luna P., Teddy L. - Complete
I Wanna be a Kennedy: The Black Family Tragedy by doing 25 life in azkaban reviews
The tragic tale of the last five Black children and how the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black fell.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 80,024 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Andromeda T., Narcissa M.
The Day Albus Dumbledore Never Remembers by Silverfawkes reviews
AU ONESHOT Independent Harry decides enough is enough. Dumbledore bash fest. slight RW bashing mild language. Co-written with Darkshadowedrose.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,059 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 1,545 - Follows: 295 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Detentions of the Alphabet by GryffindorPrincess0894 reviews
James dares Sirius to get detentions using words of his choice. Teachers of Hogwarts beware... Drabbles from A-Z. Sequel to Dates of the Alphabet but can be read as a stand alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,306 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/21/2010 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Sirius B., James P.
When Are We? by Ramzes reviews
Don't touch it!" Teddy shouted, but since when had James started obeying commands? He turned the hourglass and the world around them started spinning... and spinning... and spinning.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,072 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 4/13/2010 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Teddy L., Albus S. P.
Harrys happy revenge chapter one by crocket reviews
Harry is not happy this takes place after harry's first year my idea is Harrys not happy being told to go back to hell i mean his family . i would also like a beta reader to help me with my storys please get in contact if interested
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,703 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Harry Potter Beyond the Veil by Lady Vyxen reviews
Harry Potter falls through the veil instead of Sirius Black but he does not die. He find things to be slightly different from those he remember. No pairings, but a lot of plot twists and reversed events.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,394 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
Bet On Me by Livelier reviews
In first year, James and Sirius made a bet on how many times James would have to ask a certain redhead out before she says yes. Now, it's their final year at Hogwarts, and the bet is still on. Will James bow out, or will they both end up getting hurt?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 24,130 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Marauderette by DistractedButSerious reviews
What would have happened after Snapes' Worst Memory in the 5th book if Harry had stayed and watched and I wrote Harry Potter which I didn't . Lily becomes the fifth Marauder, and Snape gets jealous. Can he get her back, or will James make Lily his?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 29,073 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
30 Years Ago by DistractedButSerious reviews
Hermione makes a timeturner that goes back years, but asks Harry to look after it for her. When looking into it, he falls in. Now he's stuck in the era of the Marauders, teaching DADA! Now he's got to find a way back without anyone knowing his secret.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,817 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
The One in the Shadows by desiking75 reviews
Harry Potter is the twin brother of the boy who lived, sorted into Slytherin. He resents living in his brother's shadow. Join him as he finds his own calling and makes his mark on the wizarding world. "Wherever you go, leave your mark"- desiking75
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 82,957 - Reviews: 1123 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 1,116 - Updated: 3/21/2010 - Published: 3/25/2008 - Harry P., OC
Harry Potter and the Trip Home by AriXali reviews
Harry finds himself in an AU universe. How will he get back. Will he want too....
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,176 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 3/19/2010 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Harry P., James P.
Stake me if you can by a Happy Psychosis reviews
Rashels old slayer buddies go to check out a vampire hide out, but run into a certain ex-Lancer and her vampire soulmate. If that doesnt convince you, theres a rainbow Quin in it... T for violence.
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,362 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/18/2010 - Rashel J., J. Quinn - Complete
It Was All in the Name by dork-with-glasses reviews
James Sirius Potter. What on earth were they thinking? Naming a child after James Potter and Sirius Black! Didn't they think about the teachers, cousins, siblings, best friends or even themselves? James Sirius Potter. It was all in the name.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,622 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/17/2010 - James S. P. - Complete
still we are navigating by the stars by with the monsters reviews
Because she's the same age and twenty-three years younger and the complications fade away. - -DracoRoxanne
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,301 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Draco M., Roxanne W. - Complete
Educational Decree 24 by baby gyrl reviews
Hogwarts students retaliate against Umbridge's latest decree. Slightly A/U OotP, non-evil Slytherins
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,812 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 3/14/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Hermione G., Harry P.
He Takes After Me by AnimeIceFox reviews
The plot bunnies attacked! So this is just a little argument between James and Lilly, and Harry takes matters into his own hands!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 640 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/12/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Ron, Meet Your Daughter's Boyfriend by howlsatthemoon reviews
"But… you said you were bringing over a boy during the holidays!" "And I'm not considered a boy?" "NO!" / Rose brings Scorpius home for the holidays.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Scorpius M., Ron W. - Complete
I Know You by Little Blue Fairy reviews
James Potter has until the end of the school year to prove to Lily Evans that his feelings for her are more than lust. The catch is that once a month he has to come up with something that proves he really knows her. Just read it you know you want to.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,545 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/11/2010 - Published: 2/4/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
An Impossible Sacrifice by sktofu reviews
Everyone Harry Potter loves dies. The only way to bring them back is if Harry sacrifices his parents. He travels to the past and spends time with James, Lily, and their friends at Hogwarts. In the end, will Harry be able to make that impossible sacrifice?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Harry dies by crocket reviews
This just an idea I had about those oh so speciel wards that meant Harry had to go back to Privet drive. This is what i think could have happend if Voldemort had a brain and cunning. I mena if i can think of it why couldn't he.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,094 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Montagues and Malfoys by dork-with-glasses reviews
I think that the family rivalry stimulated the relationship, because what's more exciting and romantic than forbidden love?-A 5th year Muggle Studies class comes to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, Shakespeare knew exactly what he was talking about.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Last hope for Love by DarkEyesBlinded reviews
Six years since Julian died. Jenny is in college is trying to move on. But what happens when she begins to dream of an icy terrian and a when she meets a boy with flaxen hair whom seems to know about her past.
Forbidden Game series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,909 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 8/1/2006 - Julian, Jenny - Complete
Another Past by janitrisfarinisa reviews
The war is over. Voldemort is dead. But Harry has lost everyone. So when he is sent to another universe to start over as an eleven year old with all his memories, can Harry finally defeat Voldemort again without losing all his friends, both old and new?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,841 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Harry P.
Dudley the hero? by crocket reviews
Due to Dudley saying something Harry find the way to end the war before it really begins. Hopefully you will find it funny.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,610 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
The Twins Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by Emperor Sunny reviews
What if, by a change of fate, Harry had a twin brother? That James and Lily survived? Sirius never went to Azkaban? It all seems well and good now, but when the dust settles and the Dark Lord tightens his grip on the world, the tragedies get much worse...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 95,538 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 9/8/2009 - Harry P., OC - Complete
Harry Potter and the Deathly Dares by MadnessHappens reviews
Since ‘daring’ characters has become so popular here I decided I would make one of my own, It took me a while to make up a good one, Then I thought ‘Why Not Harry Potter?’ I mean it is very popular, better than Twilight and I haven’t seen one yet.SO HERE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/22/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Revenge by crocket reviews
Short story think got right genres but unsure. Harry sent jail comes out wants revenge. Yes that's it but it is how he carries out his revenge I hope is new and unused. Lets say Dumbles and many others will not be happy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,838 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Unseen Tears by ArwenJaneLilyLyra reviews
She's always been the cruel one, the dark one. But every dark has a light in it. Somewhere inside Bellatrix, is a girl who can shed tears. But only one person has ever seen them, a small boy, who she loves like a brother and one day...she would kill him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,072 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Bellatrix L., Sirius B. - Complete
Perfectly Poised by siriusly klutzy reviews
After a spoon of mashed potatoes gone awry, Sirius causes quite the commotion in the Great Hall during one eventful lunch where Lily and James team up to fight.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,610 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
At The End of All Things by anAnomaLy reviews
The night the Potters died, Sirius Black lost everything.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,310 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Sirius B. - Complete
What Really Happened: The Regulus Black Story by hello.i'm.mia.black reviews
What really happened in the cave with Kreacher? AU/Spoilers for Deathly Hallows
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,144 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Regulus B., Hermione G.
So Wait What Year is This? by madamwolf reviews
AU Due to a potion gone wrong Sirius, Remus, James and Peter are thrown forward in time to Harry's fifth year. Will they ever get home? How will their future selves react? WARNING: Old story, I was terrible with typos, slowly fixing them but its hard.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 55 - Words: 205,292 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 2/11/2010 - Published: 8/25/2007 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
We're All Mad Here by nikkiRA reviews
Oneshot, FinnickAnnie/ fifty themes surrounding Finnick and Annie's relationship. Rated T for some minor sexual content.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,053 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Finnick O. - Complete
That Which Drives Us by Shadowed Shinobi reviews
Humans can draw motivation from any number of things: Love, hatred, hope, fear, even pain.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 570 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/8/2010
The Marriage Law Repealed by Silverfawkes reviews
ONESHOT Harry and his friemds get letters from the ministry telling them to marry they wonder if they shouldn't have stopped after Voldie. Rating is for some language Cannon compliant to epilogue DH HP/GW HG/RW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,992 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 48 - Published: 2/2/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Opposites attract by XxgawjussemokidxX reviews
Hermione loves Remus. Remus loves Hermione. time travel, could it really happen for them or will the new prophecy ruin their lives forever?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,126 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 1/26/2010 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Hermione G., Remus L.
Awkward Silence by EOshipper2010 reviews
KB/OW: Katie twists her ankle & doesn't want Oliver to know. Alicia & Angelina make it sound like she's having a different kind problem in front of Oliver. Awkwardness ensues & now Katie wants revenge with hilarious results. T for safety. R&R! New summary
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,526 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Katie B., Oliver W.
Deepest Reflections by Kurinoone reviews
Harry gets a chance to see what his life would have been like if Wormtail had betrayed them fully that Halloween night. He swaps his universe for the cannon universe. Canon compliant up until the fourth book. Book Three of the Dark Prince Trilogy. H/G AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 418,604 - Reviews: 4897 - Favs: 2,401 - Follows: 1,252 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Journey to the past by abete rosso reviews
A few days after the Department of Mysteries Harry's hurt and lonely. Trying to hide from the world he falls asleep in the RofR. What will he find getting out of it?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,019 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Oops! by VeronicaWayland reviews
Hermione and Ginny find themselves quite suddenly and accidentally in another time with some surprisingly familiar characters. It's a work in progress please let me know what you think!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/14/2010 - Published: 12/10/2009 - Hermione G., Ginny W.
You Want To Make A Memory? by enitsirk reviews
This is the story of four boys. This is the story of how these four boys came to know each other, of how they became friends. This is the story of their unbreakable bond that could survive any test. This is a story that will ultimately end in tragedy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 96 - Words: 410,936 - Reviews: 802 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 4/22/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Unplanned by pjjammjamm reviews
This fic is loosely based off krtshadow's Redemption. Harry's been put in Azkaban. Sirius decides to break him out, Marauder-style, and drags poor Remus along for the ride. AU starting after 4th year in the Potterverse.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,433 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Closing the Gap by Tonkswyrda reviews
after being dared into sneaking into the shrieking shack, Charlie and Tonks are sent back to 1976. Can they Survive the Marauders? What happens when they get involved in the mysterious killings plaguing Hogsmede?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,291 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Remus L., N. Tonks
One Last Chance by ZeroTheDestroyer reviews
Time Travel. Harry dies in the Battle of Hogwarts, to wake up in the 1970's: His Parent's Hogwarts Year. Armed with memories of the future he will do all he can to stop Voldemort. That is his goal, and this is his chance. His last chance. HarryNarcissa
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 31,107 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 909 - Follows: 965 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Harry P., Narcissa M. - Complete
The Secret Book of Maraudering by ForeverLily reviews
Moony,Wormtail,Padfoot,and Prongs are delighted to bring you The Secret Book of Maraudering! Harry seeks a place to think and goes to the room of requierment were he finds the book and gets to see the maruaders as the goofballs they were! JKR owns HP!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,451 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Harry P.
Run that by me again? by Sarah1281 reviews
Ever wonder 'Why don't they just do that' "A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic." Harry and Hermione, however, were raised in the muggle world and are therefore fully capable of thinking things through...A collection of of one-shots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,842 - Reviews: 1756 - Favs: 2,950 - Follows: 2,035 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
10 Ways to Annoy Remus Lupin by Mcbnotredame7 reviews
Sirius is bored, which is never a good thing. So he, Tonks, Bill, Fred, and George make a list of ten ways to annoy him. Just HOW annoyed will he get?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,683 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B.
The Secret Child by Stellala13 reviews
The daughter of Voldemort, the heir of Slytherin has come to Hogwarts. And she's done everthing wrong so far: become a Gryffindor, made best friends with a muggle-born, and become friends with her dead father's mortal enemy-Harry Potter. Great...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,637 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/25/2009 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Gemini Effect by Michelle Amethyst reviews
Hermione Granger approached them, her now hazel eyes streaming with tears. He saw a glinting silver dagger piercing clean through her left palm. The blood was dripping crimson as it pooled in her hand and dripped down her wrist and onto the floor.'DMHG!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,160 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Ten Things by frolicks.with.froggies reviews
Ten things you didn't know about your favorite Harry Potter characters. I've seen so many that I wanted to do one of my own :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,005 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 12/12/2009 - Published: 11/30/2008
Witchkraft the muggle way by Narutoscreed reviews
5 year old Harry does magic and when Albus comes to obliviate Harry and who ever witnessed his magic the spell doesn't work for some reason and Harry remembers what he's done and sets out to learn as much as he can. Powerful wandless Harry. no ship/slash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,142 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 12/10/2009 - Published: 9/20/2008 - Harry P.
Time after Time by RedRose102 reviews
Just basically Julian waiting for Jenny in the More Games store.
Forbidden Game series - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Julian, Jenny - Complete
It was an Accident! I swear! by Sela-Lovegood reviews
Lily sighed. "Sirius Black, didn't your mother ever tell not to mess with things that could destroy the space-time continuim?" Sirius looked at the ground avoiding her glare. "Maybe."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,618 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Not So Black Letters: Negotiation by Amber Akasha reviews
This is a bonus chapter, featuring the negotiation between Harry and Voldemort from TNSBL, answering to the questions many people have posed: How did Harry join Voldemort? Why did Voldemort agree to take him in?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 25 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Not So Black Letters by Amber Akasha reviews
Harry sends a surprising letter to Headmaster Dumbledore. He's joined Voldemort. What Dumbledore doesn't understand is why Harry has to keep sending him mail... Mail that reads itself aloud. During breakfast. At the Great Hall.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,811 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 520 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort, Albus D.
Guardian by Logicalmagic reviews
After the Triwizard Tournament debacle, Sirius decides it's high time he started playing a more active role in his godson's life. A Sirius-takes-charge fic. AU Fifth book onwards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,219 - Reviews: 1294 - Favs: 2,196 - Follows: 2,643 - Updated: 11/20/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Lest We Forget by PadfootProngs7 reviews
Fifty years after the Battle of Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,536 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Legend of the Dragon Riders by Ellerosse reviews
Harry and his twin are attacked by Voldermort, Matthew is named the boy-who-lived. Harry is transported to Alagaesia were he becomes the famous Eragon the First Rider. Follow him as he battles darkness in both Alagaesia and Earth
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,557 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 11/3/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Harry P., Eragon S.
The Not So Black Letters: The Prelude by Amber Akasha reviews
This is a bonus chapter, featuring the beginning of T NS BL, answering to the questions many people have posed: How did Harry decide to join Voldemort? And why?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,073 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 16 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Reading the Future: Philosopher's Stone by jellybellybean101 reviews
Yet another Marauders and lily read Potter: James and Sirius find the Harry Potter series in the Library. The Marauders and Lily, secretly are all curious about the possible relation to their own Potter. But they'll soon wish they left this book alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,829 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 46 - Published: 10/18/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Rising from the Ashes of Betrayal by Fire-Pawz reviews
Betrayed by his friends and sentenced to Azkaban. What will Harry do now that the war is over? Will he go back to those who betrayed him or will he continue running? AU Post OoTP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 51,962 - Reviews: 1081 - Favs: 1,293 - Follows: 1,519 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 1/23/2005 - Harry P.
Morals by thomas hobbs reviews
Snape and Malfoy senior try to tell a bed time story to little Draco. I hope it's funny, I think it is.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,295 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Severus S., Lucius M. - Complete
Coffee! by Neeva Caffrey reviews
Sirius gets his hand on some coffe, this isnt good!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 863 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Sirius B., Regulus B. - Complete
It Isn't Easy Being a Hufflepuff by trillium248 reviews
After Voldemort is defeated, Harry finds himself pulled into another dimension where Neville is the bwl and Harry is a… Hufflepuff? AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 85,820 - Reviews: 980 - Favs: 2,048 - Follows: 2,451 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Harry P.
Pink by BellaBaby2813 reviews
If I have learned anything from Jace in the four years I’ve known him, and trust me, I’ve learned a lot, was that Jace and the color pink did not get along.:Based a few years after City of Glass:.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,670 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/30/2009
In War and in Peace by CarlieD reviews
Post-DH. The bittersweet story of how a family struggled to rebuild itself. Learning to trust each other again, learning to live with one brother less, learning to parent when you’d never had any to show you how. The story of the Weasley-Potter-Lupin fami
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 54,253 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Harry P., Teddy L.
A Thousand Days by AnnaOtaku reviews
Desperate and stricken with greif, Fred and Hermione travel back in time to undo the tragic series of events that have left them alone in Voldemort's new world. As they work to defeat the dark lord, they find a startling reason to keep the past in chaos.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,391 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Hermione G., Fred W.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words by The bestest ever123 reviews
Harry, member of the now dying Order, is living life as a mute and a rebel, but he has a choice, to either go back to the ones he never knew or to stay and fight, with the ones he's learned to love. Time-travel. Marauder-era
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,728 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Harry P.
Snippets from the Seventh Year by deews reviews
Going backwards in time, Harry's 7th year in a series of one shots from the POVs of all the different Potterverse characters. Chapter Twenty: Hogwarts' professors without their students. "The path is hard and lonely and there is no end in sight."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 42,677 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/24/2009 - Published: 11/30/2006
Bloody Pirates! by Tonkswyrda reviews
Elizabeth ran of with Jack, leaving Will alone on Tortuga. Untill a witch, claiming to come from 1998 shows up on the beach. He knows Tonks is married, but could he be falling for her?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,014 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 32 - Published: 8/22/2009 - N. Tonks, Will T.
the end is only the beginning by cross4m3 reviews
Lily and james Potter died to save their son but their job isn't done yet. now, while they wait for his time to come and wait for him to make the same decision they had to make. they must do the hardest thing of all: watch him grow up without them
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,766 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 8/3/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Epiphany by radcliffe23 reviews
AU. It's the summer after fifth year and Harry's summer was quiet until Uncle Vernon lost his job. Harry has to deal with the consequences along with new revelations about his friends. It's my first fanfic. Please tell me what you think.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,498 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 8/12/2009 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Harry P.
Parental Advisory by Amber Akasha reviews
Eleven-year-old Harry Potter is visited by the Headmaster, McGonagall and Snape, who are to introduce him to magic. How could that conversation turn out, when Harry has a pretty twisted mind? Rated for language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,960 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Harry P.
Time is of the Essence by RiverofWind reviews
What would happen if Harry and Ginny were accidentally sent to the time of the Marauders? Better yet, what would the reactions of the fueding James Potter and Lily Evans be? Will this permanently screw up the time stream?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,664 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 8/5/2009 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Back in Diapers by gwen.i.troski reviews
MARAUDERS ERA/DH** When the Order decided to send Harry and Ron back to their 1-yr-old bodies to warn the original Order, what would it be like? Since when do adults have to take orders from babies? And what do the Marauders have up their sleeve?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,846 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 7/14/2009 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Resentment, Yet Not Hatred by Ramzes reviews
Aberforth never hated Albus. However, he never forgave him either.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,456 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Albus D., Aberforth D. - Complete
Timely Errors by Worfe reviews
Harry Potter never had much luck, being sent to his parents’ past should have been expected. 'Complete' Time travel fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 130,020 - Reviews: 1886 - Favs: 6,740 - Follows: 1,815 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
How It Might Have Gone by Corwalch reviews
AU This is a drabble from a rabid plot bunny about how Harry seeing Ron and Hermione at Grimmauld Place might have gone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,264 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 103 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Fib by Pale18 reviews
Timmy is holding a grudge at Quinn. So he lies to Rashel to get her mad at Quinn. Now Quinn has to get Rashel back and KILL THAT LITTLE DEMON! Plese read & review. It's better than it sounds.
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,329 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/14/2009 - J. Quinn, Rashel J. - Complete
Ten Things I Hate About James Potter by emeraldprincess92 reviews
James tells Lily that if she could find ten things that she hated about him then he would leave her alone and if she couldn't...she would have to go on a date with him. Will she really find ten things she hates about James or will she fall for him instead
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,050 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Hero by Mask of Lies reviews
poem - I've read a lot of immortal Harry stories and this is about what he might have thought if he did'nt want that immortality
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Mirror Mirror by Mask of Lies reviews
poem - what Harry might have thought if he had to wear a mask because of the Boy-Who-Lived legend
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Ravings of a Madman by Mask of Lies reviews
poem - a look inside the minds of one of the mirrors victims
Mirrors - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Complete
Last Night by Mask of Lies reviews
poem - what would have happened if a non-magic person decided to explore Riddle Manor and ran into the Death Eaters?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Complete
Remus Has a Love Story Too! by Kayyness reviews
I hear way too many J/L stories, and I'm tired of hearing SB/randomhotgirl stories. Or ones with me and him together. I'm STRAIGHT! My name's Remus Lupin, and I want to hear my real romance story told! REVIEW!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,153 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/31/2009 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Remus L., OC
The Potter Family Grimoire by DisobedienceWriter reviews
Harry Potter has an unprecedented amount of freedom the summer before his Third Year. He stumbles into an odd shop in Diagon Alley that will change his life forever.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,722 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 3,556 - Follows: 747 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Letters by RemmyBlack reviews
The Order recieves very weird letters from Harry. Hopefully funny its rated T for some later chapters. Yes there is a plot line of some sort first chapter is short sorry about that but please READ! PWETTY PWEASE? I'm MrsRemusLupin1
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Harry P.
Hush Bye Bye by Mask of Lies reviews
Lily stays and watches her son grow up.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 898 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Complete
Masquerade by Tonkswyrda reviews
Tonks has to go undercover as a 13 year old to protect harry from Sirius Black. now she has to fend off love-struck boys, nosey slytherins, remedial potions, and if she could only take her eyes off the new DADA proffessor, maybe she could do her job!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,949 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 5/27/2009 - Published: 5/11/2009 - Remus L., N. Tonks
Once a Month by SilverWolf7007 reviews
James knew why Remus went home once a month. Of course he knew. How could he not? They shared the same dorm room, after all, and James was apparently far more observant than Sirius or Peter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,103 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 39 - Published: 5/16/2009 - James P., Remus L. - Complete
A Very Painful Interview Indeed by Emmi-Chick reviews
James and Sirius 'accidentally' set Snape on fire, so they have been put in counseling! That poor counselor.. she has no idea what she's in for, how can you counsel a Marauder? You can't! All Dialog, Marauder era. WARNING: Themes of violence & farting..!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,593 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 12/19/2007 - James P., Sirius B.
Child of the Phoenix by tc22 reviews
AU: Voldemort never finds out Lily is pregnant so is unable to mark Harry as his equal. However complications with his birth leave Harry anything but normal.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 56,325 - Reviews: 930 - Favs: 1,160 - Follows: 1,693 - Updated: 5/7/2009 - Published: 8/24/2005 - Lily Evans P., Harry P.
Saving Peter by siriusly klutzy reviews
Upon having a rat literally fall into their laps, Lily and Alice decide he needs to look a bit nicer. But whose rat could it be? And what chaos will he create?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,262 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Promises by BirdG reviews
How Scorpius Malfoy got his ferret.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/29/2009 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Draco M., Scorpius M. - Complete
Harry Potter: Kidnapped by kb0 reviews
Harry decided growing up “on the street” was better than at the Dursleys and ran away as a child, becoming lost to the Wizarding world. He was very happy with his life until accidentally found by Albus Dumbledore... No real pairing
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 60,415 - Reviews: 572 - Favs: 1,693 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 4/27/2009 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Redhead Mother by Mask of Lies reviews
This is a poem to the tune of Arkansas Traveler. I hope you enjoy it:
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Lily Evans P., Albus D. - Complete
Black Blood by Ever-Changing Anthem reviews
This is the sequel to Padfoot Prohibited. Our favorite Marauder is at it again...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,923 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 11/11/2005 - Sirius B., Remus L.
Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Wizards by Corwalch reviews
Harry was sent to Azkaban after being framed for murder in the beginning of his 6th year at Hogwarts. While there, he unlocks the "Power the Dark Lord Knows Not". What will happen once his former friends know he's innocent? Watch the fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 136,710 - Reviews: 2070 - Favs: 6,124 - Follows: 1,963 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Ginny Returns by kb0 reviews
What if the war was over, but the only ones left were Ginny and a paralyzed friend? When Ginny finds a ritual that will send her back to an earlier point in the timeline, how will she change things to come out for the better? HP/GW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 157,144 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 1,175 - Follows: 529 - Updated: 3/27/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
BUT! huh? by Faith Crain reviews
Fred didnt die in the final battle, he wasnt sent back to the mararuders time. His fiance, Hermione, thinks he is dead, untill she is sent back to. full summary inside. FW/HG *rated for possible language, and senarios later on,maybe.* plz, just try r&r :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,730 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Hermione G., Fred W.
The Price of Freedom by Corwalch reviews
The price of freedom always comes at a cost, including to those left behind to pick up the pieces. What if some of those left behind weren't as loyal as they appeared, would they reap what they have sown or get off scott free?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,270 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 789 - Follows: 168 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Inverted by megamatt09 reviews
AU. When Unspeakables Harry and Ginny Potter stumble upon a mysterious antique device, they are transported to an alternate world very different from their own.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 83,777 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 540 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 3/14/2009 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
A Deadly Lullaby by 8BonnieBlue8 reviews
Daddy, Mummy won't wake up." A normal day in the lives of the Black sisters may just change Bellatrix's life forever.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,578 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Bellatrix L., Cygnus B. - Complete
The Last Lesson by Amber Akasha reviews
Harry thinks about his life. He has learnt his lessons, and he reflects about the most important and elusive one, the one he learnt as a six-year-old adult. Slytherin!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Specialis Revelio by Popcorn Trifecta reviews
When Sirius breaks a Time Turner, the Marauders are catapulted into the future - specifically Harry's sixth year. The Marauders must hide their identities while learning Harry's past and their own fates. - Not cliche, read and review
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,091 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 2/14/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Harry P., James P.
Lost Hope by Adari reviews
The plan was perfect. The execution was even better...but they all forgot to consult the Sorting Hat who had its own views. After all, what can you expect from the hat which contains all four founders?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 63,857 - Reviews: 685 - Favs: 1,630 - Follows: 897 - Updated: 2/10/2009 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Shadows of Darkness by Lady Alinor reviews
I never wanted this to happen, I thought as I checked the boy for signs of life. Then I felt a steady, pulsing beat, and I froze. I leaned over and whispered the question. My world seemed to stand still when he breathed a single word. “Yes.” Narcissa POV
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,543 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/30/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Narcissa M.
The Jaded Brothers: Trials of Magic by Blueberry Blaster reviews
AU - Part I. Hayden Alexander Potter. Harry James Potter. Brothers; twins. Only one is slated to be the world's saviour. One lives a loved life; the other, hardship. The trials of their first year at Hogwarts will forever change the course of fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 85,744 - Reviews: 558 - Favs: 791 - Follows: 1,152 - Updated: 1/19/2009 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Harry P., OC
Painting the Nursery by doing 25 life in azkaban reviews
What happens when Lily leaves James and Sirius alone to paint the nursery? Pure, fluffy, chaos, James and Sirius style! ONE-SHOT!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Debt Paid by Useless19 reviews
Potter luck doesn't always work by itself, sometimes it requires a bit of help.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,885 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/17/2009 - James P., Severus S. - Complete
Baby Food by siriuslives394 reviews
James and Sirius are left to watch baby Harry. They're expected to feed him too.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,216 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/4/2009 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Dream Come True by grand admiral chelli reviews
After a gross miscalculation by the Dark Lord, James Potter is alive and well again, and having the time of his life as he, Sirius, and Harry take Hogwarts by storm! Year 5 AU fic
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 252,873 - Reviews: 2341 - Favs: 1,837 - Follows: 1,419 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 5/19/2003 - Harry P., James P.
The Daily Prophet by Amber Akasha reviews
Harry Potter was sent to Azkaban charged with murder. The murder of Cedric Diggory. He was, of course, innocent. That was five years ago, and today he's to be released...would you like to read the Daily Prophet's shocking headlines? slightly dark!harry AU
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,562 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Harry P.
The Other Malfoy by NotLostJustWandering reviews
Cassie was the unknown sister of Draco Malfoy. She is scarred after the murder of her mother and tourcher she faces from her father. When she comes to Hogwarts she makes an unexpected friend. Can that friend save her? Bad summary great story! H/OC Hrm/R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,345 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Harry P., OC
Closet Buddies by Custom Built reviews
What if Jenny hadn't gotten away at the end of The Hunter... instead, how about if she got stuck in the closet with Julian?
Forbidden Game series - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,025 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 3/11/2008 - Jenny, Julian - Complete
What does Mommy say? by TeeBlack reviews
What does Mommy say, Harry?" James tries to impress his friends.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 342 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 29 - Published: 12/24/2008 - James P., Harry P. - Complete
The Twelve Disasters of Christmas by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Hermione and the others aren’t sure why, but the leadup to Christmas in Gryffindor Tower seems to be fraught with nothing but chaos, mistakes, and of course, Harry trying to be helpful.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,992 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 12/14/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Black and Potter by Black7369 reviews
Remy and Harry have been best friends since the start of Hogwarts. Remy is a murderer's daughter, and Harry is the boy who lived. Their third year will uncover secrets about their past that will change their world. R&R! p.s, it's canon. JK rules.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 67,903 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Harry P., OC - Complete
Harry Potter and the Wraith by theguywhoratesthings reviews
AU. During Harry's trial in his fifth year, Dumbledore never showed up. so Harry went to Azkaban, while these he meets someone who will change his life forever. Dumbledore bashing, weasley/granger bashing. HG independent/powerful Harry. full summary insid
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,186 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 12/17/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Ten Little Things by Jess.91 reviews
I love reading these, so I thought I'd try my own. Ten facts about some of the HP characters. Starts with next generation.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 100 - Words: 153,406 - Reviews: 2781 - Favs: 1,012 - Follows: 279 - Updated: 12/18/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Complete
Wishes by TheOneKnownAsEmerald reviews
a Muggle, a friend...My name is Harry Potter, and this is my story about the greatest friend I ever had. It wasn't allowed but I didn't care. For her, I would've done anything. But I wasn't there for her. This is our story about our friendship.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,297 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Harry P., OC - Complete
Child Of The Light, Prodigy Of The Dark by dyly reviews
Harry is overlooked as his twin brother Caleb is heralded as the Boy Who Lived. Determined to be better than Caleb and with an IQ that’s off the scale, Harry is left to his own devices to try and reach his full potential. Which side will he choose?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,375 - Reviews: 713 - Favs: 1,860 - Follows: 2,364 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Harry P.
Guardian by bast4 reviews
AU. Sirius escapes Azkaban early, meets a 7yr old Harry on the streets, and seeks out a wary werewolf to help protect the Boy-Who-Lived from the dark ones hunting him. 1st fanfic. - ABANDONED / DISCONTINUED. please stop asking for updates, it's not happening. only keep this up so that the people who faved it can access it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,947 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 11/17/2008 - Published: 11/1/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Alternate Deathly Hallows Ending by WinchesterGrl09 reviews
When Harry returns after his talk with Dumbledore he walkes up in the clearing but realizes something is wrong. The clearing is empty. Once he reaches the castle he figures out what went wrong. Will he still be able to complete his destiny? One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,969 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
4,012 Items of Insanity by siriusly klutzy reviews
Who responds to a random letter attached to their owl claiming someone has 4,012 things? Alice and I do. Really, I’ve got to stop listening to that girl. No good comes out of anything I do when she comes up with the ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Disappearing Confession by siriusly klutzy reviews
How could we lose that note? It’s just gone, simply vanished, where anyone could read it and figure out that I, Lily Evans, fancy James Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,815 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Blame Alice by siriusly klutzy reviews
I really should stop listening to Alice. I mean, she only gets me into stupid situations. Like taking Arithmacy for example. Completely pointless. I can’t do it, and I’m constantly distracted by none other than James Potter. Brilliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,007 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
For The Greater Good by marietsy2 reviews
It was for the greater good, right? What would life have been like without Dumbledore's manipulations? AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,767 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 93 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Albus D., Harry P. - Complete
All Sorted Out? by Ash Light reviews
“Oh, calm down. It’s not like he’s decided to be a practitioner of the Dark Arts – oh no, wait a moment, you’d like that.” Scorpius has been Sorted, and Draco is unimpressed. Astoria, of course, is amused by all.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,342 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Draco M., Astoria G. - Complete
Dear Diary, by A Dash of Yellow reviews
What if Luna found the Diary after Ginny tried to dispose of it?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,030 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/24/2008 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Tom R. Jr., Luna L. - Complete
When Will I Matter? by Something Wicked1967 reviews
Harry has a twin brother who is said to be the one who can bring down Voldemort, so Lily makes the choice. Years later when his brother is in the spotlight Harry is still suffering from the affects of the attack. Spoilers
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,216 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 757 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Harry P.
Searching for Potter by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Hermione is waylaid by a frantic Draco Malfoy demanding to know where Harry is. Or so it would seem...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 545 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 39 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Too Late to Correct Your Mistake by Corwalch reviews
This is my take on the highly cliched Harry has a twin who is mistakenly declared the BWL and Harry subsequently is ignored by his parents until the truth comes out. Right now this is a one shot though that may change. Rated T just to be on the safe side.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,427 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 2,418 - Follows: 903 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Harry P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Challenges of Parenthood by siriusly klutzy reviews
Lily and James become a bit too paranoid when they notice Harry doing something odd. Or, really, was it that odd?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,080 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
A Little Research by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Another sort-of prequel to Inquisition, in which Harry knocks on Luna’s door and they discuss an oddly endearing Velma.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Godfamily by PadfootProngs7 reviews
What if Harry was raised by someone besides the Dursleys? What if he grew up with someone who loved and took care of him? Read as a newly charge-free Sirius and Remus raise Harry before his first year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,221 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 7/26/2008 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Lost in Writing by dappledsunlight reviews
In a tragic AU Harry is left with no one, and is hiding out in a shack. However, much to his surprise the Marauders Map decides to talk back and he ends up having a conversation with the Marauders of the 70's. Originally written by Of-butterbeer-and-frogs
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,362 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Harry P., James P.
Rebuilding the World by Lady Alinor reviews
What would have happened if Ginny had been the third person in the Aperio? How would it have changed things? Diversion from chapter 22, must read The World as We Knew It first. HG, AU. Abandoned.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,356 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 413 - Updated: 7/19/2008 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish reviews
The true story of how Harry and Ginny's kids got their names. Really, it's all Snape's fault. Crackfic oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 2,265 - Follows: 220 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Seriously, Black by Hamm On Wry reviews
Sirius Black is always portrayed as a hotheaded idiot. I mean, really he always does the same thing, gets framed by Peter and either sent to Azkaban or has to hide out for years. What if he had done the right thing?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,195 - Reviews: 394 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 715 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 6/17/2007 - Sirius B., Harry P.
A Bunch of Bored Magical Teens by GryffindorPrincess0894 reviews
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are bored so they decide to play a little game... Truth or Dare, but when Lily gets roped in things don't go exactly as planned... MWPP, James/Lily. ABANDONED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,161 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 2/8/2008 - James P., Sirius B.
Of Boredom and Passing Notes by GryffindorPrincess0894 reviews
The Marauders pass notes in class, but then a little bet between James and Sirius gets Lily roped into things. Full of hilarious comments, sexual innuendos, wrong ideas and of course, note passing!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,841 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 3/20/2008 - James P., Sirius B.
Fairytale by MetalCloud reviews
We hate him because he acknowledges that our hero is a child. Just a child, with sellotaped glasses and knobbly knees and messy hair. A child who looks with innocence and naivety and hope for this brave new world. Severus knows this will get him killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Reader by Frodo'sPen reviews
A young woman is transported to the world of Harry Potter and back to 1976. She remembers the books in detail, but is under a charm that prevents her from revealing or changing anything. Sirius/OC. Full summary inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 83,048 - Reviews: 520 - Favs: 839 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sirius B., Remus L., OC - Complete
Mistakes of a Married Woman by siriusly klutzy reviews
James wants to cook Lily a special dinner, but what happens when Lily realizes that, even with magic on his side, James is the worst cook in history?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,793 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
When Potter met Potter by Flamepaw reviews
This is not average Harry meets James story, NO WAY! Alice and Frank join the ride as Lily and the Marauders are forced into the future. Now Voldie's back and Harry and the DA must fight again with the Marauders help! :D Takes place after book 7. L/J A/F
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,356 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 6/25/2008 - James P., Lily Evans P.
The Fabric's Fold by Nessa Elendil reviews
When Sirius Black fell behind the Veil it claimed his life; he was unable to return to those left behind. The trip past the veil may not have taken him where he wanted to go, but Sirius will soon discover that some matters go beyond that of life and death
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,927 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sirius B., Harry P.
Harry Potter & the Second Chance by azerjaban reviews
STORY BEING CURRENTLY RE-EDITED (March 2014). Harry Potter, sick of fighting and loosing everyone he has ever cared a twist of Fate, finds himself in a world where he died as a baby,his parents alive and is Voldemort really gone? Post HBP, Disregards DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 48,912 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 587 - Follows: 1,012 - Updated: 7/2/2008 - Published: 4/2/2006 - Harry P., James P., Lily Evans P., Albus D.
Destiny Reversed by chattypandagurl reviews
-COMPLETE- One morning Harry wakes up in a different world. His parents are alive and Neville bears the scar. Things are different and Harry starts to like that the weight of the world isn't on his shoulders. Neville may not be able to bear that weight.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 163,839 - Reviews: 1802 - Favs: 3,018 - Follows: 1,620 - Updated: 6/30/2008 - Published: 7/28/2005 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Dialogues of the Marauders Map by GryffindorPrincess0894 reviews
Ever wondered what the Marauders Map would say to some of the other characters of Harry Potter? Ever wonder how those characters would react? Read to find out! Hilarious and insulting comments from Marauders and the antics of their victims.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,070 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 6/27/2008 - Published: 6/5/2008 - James P., Sirius B.
I can't leave you though I want to by Jack of the North reviews
Fred, in a stroke of genius, has magically chained himself to Hermione for three days. Yeah, she's not happy. Can Fred convince her it was a good idea before the three days are up?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,404 - Reviews: 403 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 6/26/2008 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Hermione G., Fred W. - Complete
The Adventures of Emily Black by Ravenclaw-Girl28 reviews
Sirius Black had a daughter, she was present at Halloween 1981, Believed to be dead Emily makes her own way in the world trying to make a difference to the wizarding and muggle world. Pairings to be decided. NO SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,766 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 6/23/2008
The Veil by 10snails reviews
After Sirius falls into the veil, Harry desiceds to follow him. On the other side of the veil Harry finds himself in a new world that is run by Voldemort and his death eaters. AU slightly DarkHarry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,135 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/22/2008 - Published: 12/12/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Elvendork! It's unisex! by dlestrange reviews
The Marauders take a little trip to Hogsmeade and discover a delightful new name. Everything belongs to JKR. Even the world. Or something. Whut.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Life goes on by PadyandMoony reviews
Sequel to “The name is Potter Black!” where Harry was raised by Sirius and Remus at Hogwarts. What happens after the events of fourth year?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 86,986 - Reviews: 1570 - Favs: 1,221 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 6/5/2008 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Divergence by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Voldemort is dead, but in his place is an eleven year old Tom Riddle pulled out of time, with no idea what is going on. He's got a lot to catch up on, and Harry has a lot to teach him. AU. Follows canon until book 5.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,851 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Tom R. Jr., Harry P.
A Present From Hogwarts by lollipoplola reviews
Yes! Its a time travel story. Harry stumbles across a new addition to the marauders map on a late night snack trip. Where will this hidden passage lead him? Yet more importantly WHO will it lead him too? Canon pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 34 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Harry P., James P.
The Little Necromancer Who Sucked by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Harry is attempting to summon a spirit. He gets something else entirely. Luna is vaguely impressed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 58 - Published: 5/31/2008 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Dragon's Breath by Says The Schizophrenic reviews
AU:Harry ran away from home when he was 6 after being abused, and was taken in by street kids. Only problem, Harry's got wings. Everyone thinks he's dead, but years later, he meets professor Lupin. After that, everything starts falling apart. No Slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 76,295 - Reviews: 458 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 682 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Harry P.
The Flicking of NotReally Aerodynamic Objects by siriusly klutzy reviews
History of Magic never really was an interesting class, but one day it was excruciatingly dull. To solve this problem, Lily engaged in flicking small balls of parchment at the back of James Potter's head.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,283 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 20 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Evan Orion by TearsofBlack101 reviews
What if Harry had a twin brother? This is what!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,658 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Harry P.
Time Travel? the PAST? GREAT! by I'm A PureEvil reviews
Time Travel Lily II, Albus and Scorpius get send 46 years to the past, to the marauders time, to be exact... when Lily touches a broken time turner. Now they have to deal with pranks, friends, and partially unwanted romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,934 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 11/23/2007 - James P., Albus S. P.
Teenage Angel by Locked in a Stony Tower reviews
People say that what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. But that's not true.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/17/2008 - Regulus B., OC - Complete
Potter's Army by mel92 reviews
AU. The last of Potter's army: the Golden trio, the twins, Ginny, Draco, Luna and Neville are accidentally sent back to their infant bodies after the fall of Hogwarts. Harry gets the shock of a lifetime when he meets his family. HG.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 26,360 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 559 - Updated: 4/24/2008 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Harry P.
You Did WHAT to my Knickers? by siriusly klutzy reviews
After an unfortunate experience with dungbombs and Lily's knicker drawer, James tries to find a way out explaining to his wife exactly what happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,803 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Massacre by Emmi-Chick reviews
Although James couldn't see the girl's face, he knew she was hurt badly, and whatever was wrong with her, it was Snape's fault. 'What have you done' James gasped, edging closer to Snape, who was hiding the girl's face. 'I thought she was you..' COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,317 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/18/2008 - Published: 11/15/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Eight Years by Drivelicious reviews
Hermione thought that using her time turner would help save lives; instead she found herself back in time and falling for the wrong Weasley. HG&BW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,715 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 634 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 4/8/2008 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Hermione G., Bill W. - Complete
Why Ravenclaw? by Ramzes reviews
The Sorting Hat is confused. Gryffindor or Ravenclaw? Then, a certain Sirius Black unknowingly comes to help - the only time he would ever do something useful for the school.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,181 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Behind the Veil by Spunkalovely reviews
What if that veil gave Sirius a second chance, to live it all over, to right all the wrongs that got in the way? Will he get his happily ever after? R&R First Sirius fic!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Sirius B., OC
Harry Potter and Fate's Debt by Intromit reviews
Eleven year old Harry Potter is waiting to leave for Hogwarts. While he is waiting for the Dursleys to wake, he finds a letter addressed to him... from himself. It has a simple message: Get to know Ginny Weasley. Post OOTP. AU. HarryGinny.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 201,656 - Reviews: 2768 - Favs: 3,969 - Follows: 3,149 - Updated: 3/30/2008 - Published: 7/11/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The World Without Me by Eternal Cosmos reviews
Harry won the war against Voldemort but at a terrible price.Fawkes gives him another chance in a new world where he died as an infant and where Voldemort still lurks in the shadows...but not for long, because when one exists the other cannot survive. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 188,711 - Reviews: 5130 - Favs: 8,088 - Follows: 3,516 - Updated: 3/18/2008 - Published: 12/3/2004 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Lord V by cheryl bites reviews
Nuclear war breaks out and Voldemort casts a spell to stop time. He and Harry alone are left to defuse the missiles and prevent the war. Voldemort’s radiophobic. Oh joy. LVHP. Spoilers for HBP, none for DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,391 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 530 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 3/12/2008 - Published: 5/16/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
A Posteriori by astral-angel reviews
Until 1997, wherein the timelines diverged – and Hermione Jane Granger and Ronald Bilius Weasley succeeded in doing what the world had thought to be impossible. They changed history. Eventual HermioneFred. Trio centric, plus Sirus, Remus and the twins.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,289 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 3/12/2008 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Hermione G., Fred W.
These Walls Have Ears by teafor2 reviews
There probably isn't a single person inside the walls of Hogwarts who doesn't envy Victoire Weasley to some extent.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 606 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Teddy L. - Complete
Fate's Mistake by kb0 reviews
Summary: What if there was a small mistake in 1981, causing things to not be what they really seemed at #4 Privet Drive? Would Harry be different when he showed up at Hogwarts? What if a few things were done differently when Harry went to school? H/G
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 80,923 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 1,105 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 3/1/2008 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Moony's Marauderesque Misfourtune by Emmi-Chick reviews
Remus Lupin, is late for class. But to make things worse, he is followed by Sirius, who is dying to tell Remus something, but Remus does NOT have time to listen to one of Sirius' stupid pranks! NO SLASH, Ew... Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,200 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Potterwatch by EruditeWitch reviews
This is a series of missing moments during Deathly Hallows, centering around the Potterwatch broadcast. As different characters listen to it in a time of crisis, their lives make changes, whether they be for better or worse. R/Hr, George/Angelina, Percy/O
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,057 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W.
The Lost Slipper by siriusly klutzy reviews
I lost it. I had the most comfortable slipper in the world, and I lost it. And of course, who finds it? None other than the Marauders. I know what you're thinking, what could they possibly do with a slipper? Stay open-minded.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,706 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
P as in Potter by siriusly klutzy reviews
I forgot to do my homework. That's all it took was one missed homework assignment and I'd landed myself a date with Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Magic Knows No Boundaries by cosette-aimee reviews
An older Harry gets transported to an Alternate Universe where Voldemort is still wreaking havoc. Involves advanced magic, werewolves and an unexpected marriage contract. Discontinued.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,267 - Reviews: 813 - Favs: 1,755 - Follows: 2,433 - Updated: 2/8/2008 - Published: 8/28/2006 - Harry P.
Marauding Through Time by CrazyDreamerGirl reviews
[Originally by Ethan Darkcrow]The Marauders and one extra have discovered several books that might explain what the future might hold for them, but who sent the books and why? These questions plague them as they read each book and come closer to an answer
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 173,878 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 2/6/2008 - Published: 9/2/2007
Taking Care of Myself by sara ane reviews
When Harry was a little boy he always dreamed of some long lost relative coming and taking him away from the Dursleys. Little did he know that long lost relative would be… himself? AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 58,191 - Reviews: 629 - Favs: 980 - Follows: 1,346 - Updated: 2/6/2008 - Published: 1/26/2007 - Harry P., Remus L.
The name is Potter Black! by PadyandMoony reviews
SPOILER DH!sequel to “First Day of class” where Sirius was never arrested and was able to adopt Harry at the age of 21 months and starts teaching at Hogwarts. How would things go differently with a Hogwarts raised Harry. No need to read First Class first.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 45 - Words: 162,627 - Reviews: 2071 - Favs: 2,073 - Follows: 758 - Updated: 2/2/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Langlock by Chaser921 reviews
Lily gets annoyed with James' constant attempts to ask her out, and Severus shows her a handy little spell to shut him up.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,826 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2008 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
A Matter of Property by Ramzes reviews
When Sirius Black dumps a girl, she cries and begs him to come back. When he humiliates her in front of the whole school, she doesn't search revenge. Never. Too bad that no one ever said that to Angela Peters. SBOC
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 12/29/2007 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Another Chance, Another Dimension by EAMC1901 reviews
The War is finally over and Harry has finally killed Voldemort, but at what price? Everyone close to him is now dead. When Harry discovers a spell to enter an alternate dimension, he leaps at the chance. But Voldemort's still in power in this dimension...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,926 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 1/22/2008 - Published: 2/20/2007 - James P., Harry P.
Naming Scorpius by Ramzes reviews
Astoria Malfoy wakes up to two news. The good one? She has a son! The bad one? Her husband has already named him - without asking her what SHE thought.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,822 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Astoria G., Draco M. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Chance at a New Life by padfootsrevenger reviews
A chance at a new life, in an alternate universe for war torn boywholived. New life, new family, and a chance to save all those that he lost. My first attempt at fan fiction, may be slow at up dating.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 29 - Words: 69,046 - Reviews: 964 - Favs: 1,087 - Follows: 1,204 - Updated: 1/16/2008 - Published: 5/29/2006 - Harry P.
A Stranger in the Promised Land by serpant-sorcerer reviews
PART II: Harry Potter thought that he had found a way home but something went wrong. Now he finds himself trapped in another dimension, in which someone else was cursed with the famous scar, and Tom Riddle never became the Dark Lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 109,659 - Reviews: 539 - Favs: 1,283 - Follows: 1,446 - Updated: 1/16/2008 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
A very special DADA lesson by Amber Akasha reviews
A very special DADA lesson...who'll be the first to guess "what" the teacher is? Try to find out before any student does!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,205 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/13/2008 - Complete
I'm going to kill him by Historybuff1536 reviews
Ginny Potter is suddenly visited by strange waves of nausea. Merlin help Harry, when Ginny finds out why she's been sick. :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,952 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 31 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Only Time Will Tell by Dorotea3 reviews
As teenagers, the next generation of Weasleys and Potters see what life was really like for their parents when they are thrown back in time, right into the war torn headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,921 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 162 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Albus S. P., Harry P.
Shamelessly by atruwriter reviews
An evening tryst leads Hermione to the conclusion that she and Fred were meant for more than secrecy. All she has to do is let herself say those three words. :FredHermione OneShot, Challenge issued by Tahneese:
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,307 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 60 - Published: 1/3/2008 - [Fred W., Hermione G.] - Complete
Marauder Theme Music by Emmi-Chick reviews
Sirius is bored, of course, and decides it would be a great idea to make up 'Marauder Theme Music'. Unable to sway his friends into helping him, Sirius tries to convince them why the Marauder's are nothing without they're own theme music.. right... Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,913 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
The Little Boy With Red Overalls And Blue Boots by Emmi-Chick reviews
Sick of his family, Sirius at nine years old goes for a walk. But little Regulus at three years old was intent on following his older brother closely. 'What will it take to get this little brat to leave me the hell alone? ...Do I really want him gone'
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,328 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Sirius B., Regulus B. - Complete
Early Morning Pranking, Through Thick and Thin! by Emmi-Chick reviews
Short story about the Marauders and they're early morning pranking, four in the morning to be exact 'Marauders: We share the blame, we share the credit and we share the detentions, through thick and thin' WARNING: Frequent use of the word 'Snivellus'
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/26/2007 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Adventures In Babysitting by NixItAll reviews
Harry and Hermione have a simple task: babysit Teddy while Andromeda is away. How much trouble can a toddler get into anyway? RegulusHermione Complete, now with epilogue!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,957 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 12/20/2007 - Published: 11/17/2007 - Regulus B., Hermione G. - Complete
They do NOT use our essays for firewood by Living in a fantasy reviews
While bored in History of Magic one day, Sirius and James come to the conclusion that Binns is using their essays as emergency firewood. Remus just thinks they're idiots, but when has that ever stopped those two?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,281 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
The Noble House of Pink by Regina Noctis reviews
What will Lily Evans do when Sirius Black pulls one prank too many? Something that none of the Marauders will ever forget. Prequel to Please Believe Me.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,744 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/16/2007 - Sirius B., Lily Evans P. - Complete
A Warrior's Heart by Melinda Warren reviews
Dumbledore traded Harry, twin of the chosen one, in order to clear a debt, and told his parents that Harry died. Years later, Harry is spotted but he's changed, and is no longer the controllable child he once was. NO LONGER UPDATING!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,745 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 12/13/2007 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Harry P.
Magical Contracts by Kalen Darkmoon reviews
In Goblet of Fire, JKR established that it was absurdly easy to bind other witches and wizards unwillingly into binding magical contracts with a simple, school-taught 'confundus' charm. What if Harry took note of that and decided to do something about it?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,285 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 2,439 - Follows: 527 - Published: 12/12/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Stop That! by The Werewolf Mage reviews
The Marauders try to get baby Harry to stop sucking his thumb.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 39 - Published: 12/3/2007 - James P., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Hates Cats by hateater27 reviews
Lily and James have bought a cat in an attempt to make the cottage more homely, but baby Harry doesn't take to Beans too well ...Sorry, it's incredibly short, but please tell me what you think anyway. :
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/2/2007 - Harry P., Lily Evans P.
Well Done, Slytherin by Bluebird88 reviews
For the first time in seven years, Gryffindor has won the house cup. Even Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are celebrating, delighted at the thought of Slytherin finally being taken down a peg. What could be more perfect?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Severus S., Albus D. - Complete
The Moonlit Ice Dancers by Emmi-Chick reviews
James takes Lily for a surprise date... On the lake! Yes, on the lake, not in! Set in their 7th year. Small oneshot of how James proposed to Lily. MARAUDER ERA. I love this story, so I hope you do too! L&J. Please R&R, tell me what you think!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,913 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/30/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
I'm Five Today by hateater27 reviews
It's Harry's fifth birthday. He remembers Dudley's birthday a month ago: presents, decorations and a trip out. Little Harry is expecting something similar maybe he will get his first bike!, but is disappointed by the Dursley's reaction. Please review if y
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,784 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Motorbikes Don't Fly by hateater27 reviews
Fouryearold Harry loves to dream. The other children reject him, so he sits inside. Harry draws a picture, a flying motorbike, in fact ... but Uncle Vernon is not best pleased ...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,623 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2007 - Harry P., Vernon D. - Complete
Na na James's Wand by hateater27 reviews
When James the Second gets hold of Harry's wand, he is reluctant to surrender it ... just a cute oneshot about Harry and James. Please review if you like it!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/25/2007 - James P., Harry P. - Complete
Street Rules Apply by Bundibird reviews
Harry's twin, Jayme, got the credit for the Dark Lords down fall. As a result, Harry is ignored and shunned. Fed up, Harry runs away at nine years old, joins a bunch of street kids and discovers a few interesting things about himself. DISCONTINUED.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,198 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 452 - Updated: 11/24/2007 - Published: 3/14/2007 - Harry P.
The World As We Knew It by Lady Alinor reviews
Destroy the Horcruxes—that’s Harry’s goal, until an Aperio throws him and two other unknown people into a world where the prophecy never existed, his parents and Sirius are alive, and Ginny went to Azkaban for opening the Chamber. Canon pairings, preDH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 60 - Words: 178,386 - Reviews: 2338 - Favs: 1,829 - Follows: 826 - Updated: 11/23/2007 - Published: 6/2/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Mothers by Winterlude reviews
A series of oneshots focused on mothers in HP. Among them there are Molly, Lily, Dora, Mrs. Creevey, Mrs. Diggory, Mrs. Granger, Ginny and others. COMPLETE! Translated into French and Spanish. Go check the translations among my favourite stories!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,177 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 11/18/2007 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Complete
Harry Potter:The Shadow Warrior by Leon-reynauld reviews
Nathan Potter, Harry Potter's brother is thought to be the boywholived. James and Lily ignores Harry most of the time, so Harry makes a wish and vanishes from the wizarding world. he returns 10 years later as a shadow warior. Powerful!Harry HPGW.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,415 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 1,082 - Follows: 1,315 - Updated: 11/15/2007 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Fatherhood by Winterlude reviews
When Victoire gives Teddy unexpected news, Teddy and Harry have a talk about fatherhood. TLVW pairing. Please, REVIEW!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,109 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/5/2007 - Harry P., Teddy L. - Complete
Harry Potter Discovers Fanfiction by xAndromedaBlackx reviews
The title says it all. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny are at Hermione's house, getting ready to go out and search for Horcruxes, when Hermione stumbles across a fanfiction website on her computer… Hilarity ensues! I hope so, anyway. Rating for safety.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,191 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 10/4/2007 - Published: 4/5/2007
Harry Potter and the Irish Choice by DisobedienceWriter reviews
With all the crappy stuff Harry goes through at Hogwarts, the smart money would be on him transferring to a different, better school early in his career. Here’s one way it might have happened. No planned pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 62,622 - Reviews: 650 - Favs: 3,380 - Follows: 970 - Updated: 9/20/2007 - Published: 9/6/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Storm of Swords I by Johnny Stewenski reviews
Harry is trained from birth by Lord Voldemort. In a magical accident he travels to another universe where his parents are alive and he has a brother and a sister. Book One: The Dark Sword.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,722 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/13/2007 - Published: 8/1/2007
Fugitives of Azkaban by BajaB reviews
A 'Harry goes to Azkaban' story. Convicted for releasing the Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets, Harry is put into a cell next to the most feared wizard in the world, Sirius Black. AU 3rd year, canon pairings, no Deathly Hallows.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 65,347 - Reviews: 1042 - Favs: 2,613 - Follows: 1,168 - Updated: 9/11/2007 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Savior by Ironic-Sarcasm reviews
What would happen if...? Lily and James never died. Harry went to school, barely knowing his own history. Letters to Lily and James tell them everything Harry goes though.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,802 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/5/2007 - Published: 8/27/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The TriSchool Tournament by DisobedienceWriter reviews
One shot, AU of GOF. Here’s the story I wish I had found when I read GoF or GoF fanfiction. New, harder tasks. Observant!Smart!Harry. On the outs with Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and Hogwarts in general. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 31,882 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 1,656 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 9/3/2007 - Published: 8/31/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry And Ginny at the Dursely's! by Says The Schizophrenic reviews
Ginny wants to meat the Dursly's. James is almost Two and Ginny is pregnant with Albus. Harry is grumpy all the way!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 27 - Published: 8/26/2007 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Bring It On by Elven Dagger reviews
Nobody EVER pranks the Marauders, Evans," snarled James, looking so furious that even Lily felt scared for a moment, "I'll forgive you if you grovel. Now. If not...This-Means-War!" Lily simply looked at him coolly and said, very coldly,"Bring it on."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 108,261 - Reviews: 1642 - Favs: 1,225 - Follows: 734 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 9/30/2003 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Sweet Baby James by Rosalina reviews
Lily and James' reaction to seeing baby Harry survive the killing curse. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/3/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
I Remember You by wordwitch reviews
What happens when Elizabeth gets hit on the head and doesn't remember her fiance, Will, but instead only remembers Jack? Sparrabeth, please read and review. Chapters one thru four have been edited and are much improved!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,032 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/29/2007 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S.
Lost and Found by wordwitch reviews
Over one hundred years after Elizabeth's death, Will is still captain of the Ductchman in his own personal hell. But when a young woman appears calling herself Elizabeth, will he let her join his crew? Can the present heal the past?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,472 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/28/2007 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Will T., Elizabeth S.
Marauders in the Future by you know who chan reviews
James, Sirius, and Remus find a door that takes them to Harry's time where thay learn along with Harry and his friends, but what happens when staying to long starts to change the past? HIATUS-BEING REWRITTEN. Updated chap. 1 through 5!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 49,358 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 7/1/2004 - Harry P., James P.
Mirror, Mirror by wordwitch reviews
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, which twin did the Dark Lord maul? The one who died or the one who cried? George's tribute to Fred
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,407 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/23/2007 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
The Jaded Series Year I by OblivionsPuppet reviews
He was not anyone's hero, he would not be their symbol. He had his own ambitions, he had his own goals. Harry James Potter was going to live his life according to his own rules and what was best for him. What will the first year of Hogwarts will hold?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 53,994 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 774 - Follows: 1,028 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 3/21/2005 - Harry P.
Harry's letter to the Order by awstem reviews
Harry writes his first letter to the Order 3 days after the confrontation with his uncle at the train station.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/5/2007 - Harry P.
James Potter Our Son Is Not A Quaffle by Final Fiction X reviews
JAMES POTTER! What? OUR SON IS NOT A QUAFFLE! Right, now a Quaffle. NOT A QUAFFLE! Not a Quaffle, not a quaffle, not a quaffle. JAMES! Sorry...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,154 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/5/2007 - Published: 8/11/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P.
A Stranger in an Unholy Land by serpant-sorcerer reviews
PART I: Days before his 6th year, Harry Potter is sucked into another universe by forces not of this world. Dazed and confused, Harry finds himself in a world where his parents are alive, where Voldemort has never fallen and he is Voldemort's key enforcer
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 470,388 - Reviews: 1624 - Favs: 3,455 - Follows: 1,121 - Updated: 4/25/2007 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Sorting Hat by MeriTrells reviews
I thought we'd seen the limits of Godric's stupidity when he named this place. : What did the other founders think when Godric whipped the sorting hat off his head?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,306 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/19/2007 - Godric G., Rowena R. - Complete
Perspective by oony reviews
An essay. A werewolf's essay on the subject matter of werewolves.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,600 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Remus L. - Complete
The Best Birthday Present by Katluvssport reviews
In two universes, Harry Potter and Lily and James Potter make a wish. A wish that pulls Harry across to an alternate universe where he died, but not his parents and he has several siblings. He cannot settle down with a war going on. CHAPTER 6 FINALLY UP!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 48,035 - Reviews: 857 - Favs: 1,083 - Follows: 1,532 - Updated: 4/7/2007 - Published: 2/24/2006 - Harry P., Lily Evans P.
In Search of a Family by Light Avatar reviews
The younger sister of the famous and spoiled BoyWhoLived, Lilac Potter is sick and tired of Harry belittling her. Then one day, she gets the brother she always wanted: but from another world. Slight HPHG. AU after GoF. DISCONTINUED.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 21,723 - Reviews: 894 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 956 - Updated: 4/5/2007 - Published: 12/22/2005 - Harry P.
Letters from 4 Privet Drive by ward 49 reviews
summer after OoTP: Harry sends notes to the Order every 3 days to confirm that there's no need for them to come and scare the Muggle relatives. Along the way, miscommunication occurs frequently and Harry's mental stability starts to deteriorate.ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,492 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 14 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Was It Worth It? by Ramzes reviews
Once we're out of here, she whispered, I'm going to kill Black! No, Peters, James said, I hope you will give this pleasure to me. A new howl made them both shiver.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,306 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/1/2007 - Published: 1/12/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L.
Red Shoes by charmingly-holly reviews
In a war, most everything is the sort of thing that can disappear with a shrug. People's eyes start to disappear. Melt into their faces. Sometimes you just have to forget things.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 989 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2007 - Complete
Masks Breaking by darkyamicreator reviews
What you see is not always what you get...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 945 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Of Dragons and Weddings by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Harry just wanted chocolate cake. Of course, he did not factor Luna Lovegood into his afternoon...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 59 - Published: 2/7/2007 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
The Stuff of Legend by The Phoenix Queen reviews
James is upset when Lily rejects him for the 547th time and so Sirius decides to cheer him up by pulling a prank on Snape. How else? But when the Marauders invent a secret admirer for dear old Snivelly, interesting events occur to keep the prank going...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,119 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/16/2007 - Published: 8/24/2006 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
Right or Easy by razzle-dazzle-me reviews
AU The final battle has been won, but was it worth the cost? Harry, alone and determined, sets out to rewrite history for a better world ... only to find himself stranded in another.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 41,552 - Reviews: 1101 - Favs: 1,242 - Follows: 1,671 - Updated: 1/10/2007 - Published: 5/25/2005 - Harry P.
Sitting On The Baby by HPOD sufferer reviews
Something went seriously wrong on that Halloween night. Harry didn't just survive...He travelled through time. AS A BABY. Full summary inside. A child can't change the world. No, but he can change people.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 28 - Words: 79,418 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 1/9/2007 - Published: 5/17/2006 - Harry P.
Sequel to HP Age 5 and a Few Days After by Yami no Kogo reviews
Here's the first chapter of the sequel. I'm not promising it's as good as the first, but I found it very amusing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 44,315 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 1/8/2007 - Published: 3/5/2005 - Harry P., Albus D.
A View From the Top by The Wandmaker reviews
How did the Sorting Hat really feel about some of the previous Headmasters of Hogwarts? Written for the hpholidaygen exchange on LJ
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,500 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/2/2007 - Complete
Life Swap by MzHissyFits reviews
James goes unconcious and Harry slips into a coma exactly 25 years apart. Somehow, something manages to put their minds in each others' bodies. Why? And will past Voldemort be able to kill Harry? Sort of Freaky Friday meets Back to the Future. JPLE GWHPOC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,660 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 12/28/2006 - Published: 3/29/2005 - Harry P., James P.
101 Pick Up Lines by purtyinpink71121 reviews
This is a collection of the 101 pick up lines and clever asking outs that James used on Lily... and of course her smartass responses.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,947 - Reviews: 1132 - Favs: 1,591 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 12/17/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Till Next Time (formerly Untitled) by azerjaban reviews
Lily James and Sirius wake up to find themselves in a place where nothing seems the same, and the Daily Prophet has gone and printed the wrong date. Well, at least that's what they think. (This was a spur of the moment story, I wrote it as a humorous one-shot that turned into 5 chapters. I may come back and finish it one day, but for now it will remain a funny short read).
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,702 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 12/16/2006 - Published: 4/8/2006 - Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P., Ginny W.
Time Capsule by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Set immediately after OotP. Harry is feeling fairly awful and rather dislikes his father after what he saw him do to Snape. But when Remus sends him a box full of his fathers old notes and journals, Harry starts to see a different side to James
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 54,706 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 12/5/2006 - Published: 1/2/2006 - James P., Harry P.
If At First You Don’t Succeed… by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Try again. And again. And again. And yes, yet again. But of course, as they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So that’s exactly what Harry Potter did. Lots of betting and a little slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,889 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 787 - Follows: 122 - Published: 11/19/2006 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Oops by SilverWolf7007 reviews
When Harry says 'oops', things tend to explode. But not this time. No, this time...well. Something else happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 1,961 - Follows: 296 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Marauders In 1997 by Final Fiction X reviews
One wrong push of a button, and the Marauders are flashed forward into the time of there children. Joining Harry's quest to destroy the Horcruxes, things will be far from ordinary, humor, romance, adventure are in store!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,097 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 10/27/2006 - Published: 7/21/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Harry Potter and the Dark Lord's equal by poenix-child-mina reviews
Harry has in his possession a golden chain with an hourglass. he's pondering on what to use it for. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 40,516 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 10/27/2006 - Published: 8/25/2006 - Harry P., James P.
Beyond My World by Light Avatar reviews
After his latest clash with Voldemort, Harry finds himself in a universe where Voldemort raised him to be a Death Eater. Can Harry get in touch with Dumbledore, convince him that he's not evil, and find a way home? AU after OotP, no ships.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,124 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 9/23/2006 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
My Place by Autumn Opals reviews
After the Dursley’s unexpected death, Harry finds himself whisked away to a place unknown where he’s adopted by people who are much more familiar than the area. Post OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 74,521 - Reviews: 912 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 9/17/2006 - Published: 5/28/2004 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Neglected by doyouqueue reviews
Voldemort was after harry since he was 2. But harry has a brother, kevin, who is thought to be the one. Sirius neglects harry and takes more care of kevin. very angsty. no slash oh and there is a little dursley angst too. read please and review
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,457 - Reviews: 1007 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 573 - Updated: 9/17/2006 - Published: 4/9/2003 - Harry P., Remus L.
Harry Potter and The Children Of Fate by Harpygirl24 reviews
Takes place during Harry and his friends third year, but doesn't follow the line of the third book. Hermione Granger's children arrive to continue a war that they started. A war that drove Hermione Granger away.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,683 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/8/2006 - Published: 6/8/2005
Soul Heir by Panther Nesmith reviews
Future Fic. Sirius comes back from the dead, to find the world a much different place. Somesmall spoilers, but if you haven't read, you don't know which parts are actually in the books.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,997 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/5/2006 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
The Black Family by HKBlack reviews
After being pranked by his two cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa, nineyear old Sirius asks his favorite cousin, Andromeda a few questions.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/13/2006 - Sirius B., Andromeda T. - Complete
Bad Day by Lisse reviews
His old man wears an Earth Kingdom name like a shirt that doesn't fit.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,187 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/9/2006 - Zuko - Complete
the trouble with time turners by lycan777 reviews
hermione and ginny have a late night study session,and ginny gets a hold of a time turner and they travel to the maurders time what happens? chaos. fuller summary inside. RBHG and RLGW hope you enjoy and please read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 908 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 32 - Published: 8/4/2006 - Regulus B., Hermione G.
Four Houses by Amarth Obstreperous reviews
An anti sorting hat poem, which I wish the sorting hat would recite, as it might give everybody the opportunity for both interhouse and personal reflection.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 931 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/28/2006 - Complete
Stuck in Idiotville II by Lady Stone reviews
It was a part of their lives they vowed to forget... But what happens when they're forced to not only remember it, but relive it? ::Sirius, a secret LOLLIPOP FARMER?::
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,303 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/21/2006 - Published: 6/9/2005 - Remus L., Sirius B.
A Hare,y Little Problem by spunkymuzicnote reviews
ONESHOT Harry has an opportunity to view a Pensieve memory of his parents—When Lily overhears James commenting on Remus’s “furry little problem” the Marauders must do some fast talking to get themselves out of a sticky situation.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,557 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 58 - Published: 6/9/2006 - Harry P., Remus L. - Complete
Homework Excuses by BajaB reviews
One of the Marauder's has the worst possible excuse for not completing his homework on time. Early Marauders era.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,880 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 38 - Published: 6/2/2006 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
All in the Name by Loki Mischeif-Maker reviews
Lily Evans comes into the library venting about Sirius Black and James Potter. In a parody of Arithmancy, Regulus Black attempts to explain their obnoxious behavior.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 937 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/29/2006 - Regulus B., Lily Evans P. - Complete
A Fairytale Disaster by SilverWolf7007 reviews
“The general consensus in the Wizarding World was that Albus Dumbledore was completely off his rocker and that anyone he managed to conscript was pretty much doomed to humiliation in front of a large crowd…”
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,107 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 5/7/2006 - Published: 12/6/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
For The Best by bowl of fruit reviews
AU. Seeing Harry neglected in favor of his brother made Remus's blood boil. So, it was only obvious that he kidnap Harry, right? Cliche, but try it out. BEING REWRITTEN! Check out the new story on my profile.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 930 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 111 - Published: 4/23/2006 - Remus L., Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Veil of Life by YourStory reviews
Harry is seventeen years old and the wizarding world is in chaos. Dumbledore is dead, his protection at the Dursley's is gone, and the last person he ever thought he would see is back, but not the way he was before.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,702 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/28/2006 - Published: 3/7/2006 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Moonlit Revelations and Simple Pleasures by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Lily is attacked in Hogsmeade and placed inside Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon. The next day she's faced with some difficult decisions, deals with some hard truths, and has to reassess her views on those around her. [BEING REWRITTEN!]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,419 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 14 - Published: 3/28/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Playing Quidditch by wordwitch reviews
Dad, what is that garden gnome doing to that other garden gnome? “Well… They’re, er, playing Quidditch.” An amusing James one shot leads into Quidditch lessons at Hogwarts. Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/14/2006 - James P. - Complete
Sirius The Kid by pedxing reviews
When Sirius fell through the veil something happened and now he's back... only now he is 16 agian! What sort of havok will he be reeking at Hogwarts this time!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,318 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/5/2006 - Published: 11/10/2005 - Sirius B., Harry P.
Mayhem by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Dumbledore has died, leaving Minerva to find a new DADA teacher. Of course, the man she hires comes with his very own personal Dark Lord, and THEN is nowhere to be found! Sequel to Acceptance TomHarry, HermioneGinny, etc, etc…
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,856 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 404 - Published: 2/23/2006 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
The Traveler The Marauders by Captain Oblivious reviews
Casey is a normal Harry Potter fan with plenty of dreams, one of which is to read a 6th Harry Potter book where Sirius isn't really dead. When she ends up in a different world, she has to decide if changing the past is worth changing the future. R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,697 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 2/22/2006 - Published: 12/19/2003 - Sirius B.
Harry Potter: The Lone Traveller by The Professional reviews
After spending half his life trying to rid the world of Voldemort, Harry Potter finally succeeds. However, the price has been high. Too high. Unfortunately, when Harry risks his life to go back and ‘do things right’, something goes wrong...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 16 - Words: 55,605 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 1,625 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 2/19/2006 - Published: 11/24/2005 - Harry P.
Lily, Did You Know? by Light Avatar reviews
Oneshot. Did Lily Potter know what her baby boy would grow up to do?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,693 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/26/2005 - Lily Evans P., Harry P. - Complete
Lily Potter and the Worst Holiday by bobsaqqara reviews
AU Sixteen years to the day after her first born son was murdered, Professor Lily Potter must deal with the arrival of six unknown people. Post OotP. Reedited and reposted
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 28,439 - Reviews: 773 - Favs: 4,513 - Follows: 926 - Updated: 12/2/2005 - Published: 7/10/2005 - Lily Evans P., Harry P. - Complete
Invictus by opalish reviews
Harry Potter disappeared from Privet Drive when he was six years old. Now, ten years later, he's been found...and he's not about to be anyone's hero. ON HIATUS.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 92,894 - Reviews: 2480 - Favs: 2,997 - Follows: 1,892 - Updated: 11/21/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Harry P.
Fate by Liisa reviews
After Sirius' miraculous return from behind the veil, Remus, Harry and Sirius band together to correct the fatal mistake made so many years ago on that Halloween night. COMPLETED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 46 - Words: 139,817 - Reviews: 608 - Favs: 560 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 11/15/2005 - Published: 9/29/2004 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
The Gift Of Time by Savoy Truffle reviews
A potion accidents sends Harry back in time...to 1975! Will Harry become friends with the Marauders and finally get to know his parents? And how will he manage living with the murderer of his parents. Please read to find out. Sirius and Harry bonding!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,277 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 11/10/2005 - Published: 8/14/2004 - Harry P., James P.
The Veil of Time by walmer92 reviews
When Sirius falls through the veil Harry runs in after him. against all the odds, both he and Sirius emerge except that Harry is back at Hogwarts in the time of the Marauders. in other words: time travel, pranks and a it of LJ.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,855 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 10/7/2005 - Published: 9/6/2005
Acceptance? by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Harry’s relationship is revealed to the Order. People do NOT react as he expected. Oneshot, slash, femslash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,981 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 1,422 - Follows: 219 - Published: 10/4/2005 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Premature Exit by geniusgirl reviews
AU. What if Lupin hadn't been able to stop Harry from following Sirius through the veil? what exactly lies behind the veil, and, more importantly, how will Harry ever get back?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,158 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 9/1/2005 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B.
To Find A Family by Nox Noctis Angelus reviews
NonSlash, Set after Ootp. Manipulated!Harry BiologicalFather!Sirius Manipulative!Dumbledore Uncle!Remus Harry descovers that Dumbledore has been keeping secrets from him, such as the fact that James Potter was not his father, and that there is a way to sa
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,610 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 8/28/2005 - Published: 8/14/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Teasing, Teaching and Time Travel by Tanydwr reviews
HIATUS. Harry becomes DADA teacher. In 1977. But what mystery shrouds the DADA teacher? The Marauders want to know. HG, y'know. Rated for language and adult themes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 52,757 - Reviews: 1369 - Favs: 1,422 - Follows: 1,128 - Updated: 8/5/2005 - Published: 6/25/2004 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Fate of Sirius Black by RogueAshwinder reviews
Major HBP Spoliers! When Sirius Black fell through the veil, he neither died nor lived. After a year of waiting, has Harry finally come for him?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/26/2005 - Sirius B., Harry P.
Beyond the Veil by Only-Dreaming reviews
Harry’s having weird dreams again, this time they're not about lord Voldermort, they are from Sirius. Are they really dreams, or is his mind playing a trick on him? When Luna tells him about the veil, Harry must journey back into the department of mysteri
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 924 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/21/2005
Betrayed by kateydidnt reviews
In his fifth year Harry Potter was framed for murder and sentenced to Azkaban. Ten years later his innocence is proven. What will Harry do? Written PreOotP. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 102,138 - Reviews: 3777 - Favs: 5,820 - Follows: 1,216 - Updated: 7/15/2005 - Published: 4/1/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
A Matter of Time by Dementis Scriptor reviews
“It’s déjà vu all over again.” – Yogi Berra
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,507 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/15/2005 - Published: 11/2/2004 - Harry P., Lily Evans P.
The Road to Hell by Iian Feuerfalke reviews
An incomplete prophecy forces the Potters to go into hiding with their second son, leaving their firstborn behind. And slowly the wheels of fate start turning in a direction they were never meant to take.AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,247 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 6/28/2005 - Published: 6/25/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Kept Behind by LAXgirl reviews
Harry just wants to be a normal teenager, but it seems he can't even die normally. So what's a 15 year old wizard to do when he suddenly finds himself as an incoporeal spirit no one else can see or hear except his least favorite Potions Master? COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 53,233 - Reviews: 604 - Favs: 1,037 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 5/15/2005 - Published: 2/14/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Otherside by MaxFic reviews
AU. Picks up near the end of OotP. Harry saw Sirius fall into the veil after being stunned by Bellatrix Lestrange. What would happen if he ran in after him? No Pairings yet.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 39,720 - Reviews: 1035 - Favs: 1,315 - Follows: 1,462 - Updated: 5/13/2005 - Published: 2/23/2005 - Harry P.
Help! The Butter Dish is Attacking Me! by charmingly-holly reviews
COMPLETE. Ginny isn't a happy camper. What with a HalfNakedFlyingDwarf following her around, butterdishes and mashed potatoes forming conspiracies against her, and the eminent doom her eyebrows are facing, Valentine's is looking pretty shabby.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,969 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/12/2005 - Published: 2/5/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Memories by Yami no Kogo reviews
Harry gets a visit from his dads spirit one night, and sets the 7 year old out on a rescue mission!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,523 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/1/2005 - Published: 2/23/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry Potter Age 5 and a Few Days After by Yami no Kogo reviews
The title sucks a bit, sorry' Any who Harry is 5 when he gets a visit from three strangers.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,465 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/1/2005 - Published: 2/18/2005 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Good Morning is an Oxymoron, Usually by charmingly-holly reviews
ONESHOT. Ginny falls into a toilet. Harry helps her out. That's how the morning started. Who knew it could get any worse? Title supposed to be Good Morning is an Oxymoron...Usually.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,661 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/20/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
The Problem With Cupboards by opalish reviews
As far as I can tell, the main problem with growing up in a cupboard is that it gets you used to living in a cage. - Harry's POV. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 783 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 62 - Published: 2/19/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Tears by SlasherINC reviews
What if Voldemort didn't attack until Harry was older? What if he had younger siblings? What if James and Lily lived, but blamed Harry for the death of his younger sister? Seems Harry Potter is destined for a life of pain no matter what happens. HD slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,868 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 11/25/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
All on Black by thirty2flavors reviews
Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, Sirius and Regulus' separate sortings. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/12/2005 - Sirius B., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Role Models by opalish reviews
When Vera Potter was five years old, she found her role model. No one expected it to be Severus Snape. HarryGinny fluff fic, set after Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 522 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/7/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Still Standing by opalish reviews
He's won the war. He's won the war and vanquished the villain, and he can't remember why he bothered.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/5/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Desperation by Larna Mandrea reviews
All of the tragedy and misfortune in the life of one Harry James Potter finally culminates one night at Hogwarts, and he sets off for the Room of Requirement in order to deal with his emotions. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/31/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Pet Names by opalish reviews
HarryGinny fluff. Ginny decides her seven year old daughter needs a pet name. The daughter in question is less than pleased.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/23/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
A Letter from the Cupboard by Doneril reviews
After the war, Harry writes a letter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Harry P.
My Pet Harry by Odeeyou reviews
(Rated for language) After defeating the Dark Lord, Harry decided to take a break from everyone. He just didnt expect to do it in his Animagus form. . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,792 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/10/2005 - Published: 10/19/2004
Harry Potter and the Darkness' Bane by Dementis Scriptor reviews
There are forces in this world that defy explanation; times when even the most fundamental laws of nature seem to turn a blind eye. There are instances when the most unlikely of circumstances can conspire together to produce results that otherwise never w
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,468 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/6/2005 - Harry P.
The Marauders Meet Their Match by MimiRose113 reviews
The Marauders babysit the twoyearold Weasley twins
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,852 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 22 - Published: 12/29/2004 - George W., Fred W. - Complete
Dead or Alive? by Page Purity reviews
Post OotP. The mauraders are stuck in there animal forms. Harry refuses to believe they are alive. The mauraders try to get back their human form and convice him that they are themselves. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 21,638 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 12/29/2004 - Published: 1/26/2004 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
A Simple Story by opalish reviews
Loony Luna has a simple little story to tell, about The Hero and The Villain. A teeny bit of HG. 'The Hero always wins because, in the end, he has the most to lose.'
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/30/2004 - Luna L., Harry P. - Complete
Flying Without A Broom by Ruskbyte reviews
Tonks is posing as a Hogwarts student when someone slips something into Harry's drink. With Death Eaters on the prowl and the Boy Who Lived not only missing, but stoned out of his mind and horny to boot, what's a girl to do?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,878 - Reviews: 1441 - Favs: 1,751 - Follows: 1,224 - Updated: 11/20/2004 - Published: 11/17/2003 - Harry P., N. Tonks
Harry Potter & The Green Flame Torch by sassyliz reviews
Sequel to Lord of the Light, Master of the Phoenix the rating changed because of a few words uttered by frustrated professors. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,366 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/30/2004 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Harry P.
Times Past by Larka reviews
I watch, I plan, I wait. But is it enough? TimeTravel Harry to MWPP era. PreHBP
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,981 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 10/10/2004 - Published: 8/4/2003 - Harry P., James P.
And Beggars Will Ride by opalish reviews
A boy lives in a cupboard, a strange, pale boy with green eyes and a wistful smile. Dumbledore's thoughts on Harry from PSSS through OotP. Manipulative!Dumbledore
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 59 - Published: 9/17/2004 - Albus D., Harry P. - Complete
Concealed by LyssasPen reviews
. . . a little girl smiled at me from the car in the next lane. But only I, Xoria, understood the harsh reality behind those gray eyes . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,513 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/7/2004 - Harry P.
Fugitive Prince by March Madness reviews
A prophecy stretches war a decade too long, ending with the Potter’s second son flourishing while the first suffers a dark life of ignominy. Harry Potter now rests in the hands of Fate as he’s forced to prove his worth to a world that doesn't care to
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 217,193 - Reviews: 1318 - Favs: 1,405 - Follows: 737 - Updated: 8/31/2004 - Published: 6/5/2002 - Harry P.
Unicorn Child by Felinity reviews
AU What if Voldemort had killed Lily and James Potter but only attacked Harry 3 years later?At the age of 4, after defeating Voldemort, Harry is alone and scared and runs away. He is taken in by a herd of unicorns. Will he ever return to "his kind" again?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 59,509 - Reviews: 1701 - Favs: 1,433 - Follows: 1,138 - Updated: 8/31/2004 - Published: 9/1/2002 - Harry P., Remus L.
Stuck in Idiotville by Lady Stone reviews
It was just a harmless prank! Until they got locked in a dark room with Snape! My, what shall The Marauders do? ::COMPLETE::
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,237 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/11/2004 - Published: 7/9/2003 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Oh the Places You'll Go... by Malena reviews
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!! What would have happened if Sirius hadn't gone looking for Peter that fateful Halloween night. What if they hadn't caught Sirius and charged him with the betrayal of his two best friends… What if they had never found Harry…
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 42,937 - Reviews: 948 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 343 - Updated: 7/14/2004 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Harry Unscarred by CaptainElle reviews
Harry is given the chance to change his past to save his future. Will he try to save his family, frame peter, save Sirius, break the bond, live normally, and try to kill Voldermort fair and square? What happens to those who fiddle with fate?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,960 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/8/2004 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Cruciatus by antea-aevum reviews
[One-Shot] What if Umbridge had really cast the Cruciatus spell on Harry?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,778 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 106 - Published: 6/3/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Lord of the Light, Master of the Phoenix by sassyliz reviews
Sirius is saved from the veil and Harry is in for alot of changes.... OOTP spoilers..... Please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 37,260 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 4/16/2004 - Published: 10/9/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B.
With Time Comes Trust by antea-aevum reviews
Sirius Black comes to get his 10yearold Godson from the Dursleys and uncovers what Harry was really dealing with throughout his ten years.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,670 - Reviews: 807 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 3/10/2004 - Published: 2/13/2004 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Redemption by krtshadow reviews
COMPLETE! Harry Potter has spent six years in Azkaban. Now, Dumbledore, Black and Lupin are here to retrieve him, now certain of his innocence. Will they be too late to save Harry's sanity? And if so, what does this mean for the world? AU after year 4.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 100,077 - Reviews: 3668 - Favs: 6,103 - Follows: 1,225 - Updated: 2/12/2004 - Published: 8/16/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
Grim Dawn by Robin4 reviews
Prior to Harry’s third year, he leaves the Dursleys, desperate to escape. But before the Knight Bus can stumble upon him, he encounters someone far different, and his world begins to change. Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 41,007 - Reviews: 1164 - Favs: 2,061 - Follows: 507 - Updated: 12/22/2003 - Published: 10/19/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Guardian by CassTheCurious reviews
WIP Harry-centered. Harry travels back in time and goes undercover with MWPP. Updated 11-18-03.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,614 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 11/18/2003 - Published: 6/16/2003 - Harry P., James P.