jacobluver113
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Joined 11-08-09, id: 2140276, Profile Updated: 06-13-14
Author has written 8 stories for Twilight.

Hello, everybody!!!!!! This is just a few things about myself that you might want to know;)

Favorite Movies: (I'll be adding more to this list): Avatar, Titanic, Eclipse, New Moon, Date Movie, Scary Movie 1,2,3,4, The Outsiders, Rumble Fish, Osmosis Jones, Eagle Eye, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, Transformers, Perfect Stranger, Rocky 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 (though my favorite one is the fourth one:), The majority of the old Disney movies;), Burlesque

Favorite Books: (where do I start?;) (I'll be adding more to this list): Perfect Chemistry--Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction--Simone Elkeles, (In order) New Moon--Stephanie Meyer, Eclispe--Stephanie Meyer, Breaking Dawn--Stephanie Meyer, Twilight--Stephanie Meyer, The Blood Confessions--Alisa Libby, The Outsiders--S. E. Hinton, A Boy Called It--Dave Pelzer, Crazy Beautiful--Lauren Baratz-Logsted, Night Road--A. M. Jenkins, The Burned Series--Ellen Hopkins, Series of Unfortunate Events--Lemony Snicket, Raised By Wolves--Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Favorite TV Shows: Being Human, Face Off, The Voice, America's Got Talent, Reba, The Deadliest Warrior

Favorite Sport: American Football

Favorite Team: DALLAS COWBOYS!!!!!!

Favorite Junk Food: CHEETOS!!

Favorite Food: Mashed Potatos (with gravy;)

Favorite Number: 13

Favorite Holiday: Christmas

Favorite Accessory: Necklaces and rings

Gender: Female

Age: Between 10 and 20;)

Favorite Music: Country mostly, but I like others like hip-hop, pop, soft rock, or R&B, I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO TECHNO, SCREAMO, OR RAP!!!

Favorite Artists: Jason Aldean, Rascal Flatts, Evanescence, Paramore, Keith Urban, Linkin Park, 3 Days Grace, 3 Doors Down, Prince, Ke$ha, Skillet

Favorite Songs: My Kinda Party--Jason Aldean, Mayberry--Rascal Flatts, He Loves You Not--Dream, So What--Pink, Haunted--Evaneascence, Impossible--Manafest, Rapture--Hurt, Tik Tok--Ke$ha, Too Little Too Late--Jojo, What Do You Want--Jerrod Niemann, Somewhere With You--Kenny Chesney, When Doves Cry--Prince, Little Red Corvette--Prince, Going Down--Sick Puppies, No Easy Way Out--Robert Tepper, Bring Me to Life--Evaneascence, Miss Independent--Kelly Clarkson, Comatose--Skillet

Favorite Christmas Songs: O Holy Night, Carol of the Bells, Little Drummer Boy, Slient Night, 12 Days of Christmas, Hark the Angel Sings

Favorite Color: Red

Cartoon Crushes: Johnny Bravo, John Smith (from Pocahontas;), Danny Phantom, Max Goof (if he was human), Kofu(from Lion King 2 and if he was human)

Real Life Crushes: Jeff Hardy, Taylor Launter, Mickey Rourke (from Iron Man 2), Matt Hardy, Keith Urban, Jason Aldean, Shia LaBeouf

Birthday: March 31st

Favorite Fast Food Joint: BK!!! (YUMMY)

Favorite Animal: Cheetah

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Month: March

Biggest Pet Peeve: Spelling and grammatical errors

Second Pet Peeve: When the toilet paper is on backwards (IT SHOULD BE OVER, NOT UNDER!!!)

Favorite Chocolate Bar: Snickers Bar

Favorite Candy: Gummy Cola Bottles

Favorite Drink: Dr. Pepper

Favorite Subject In School: Anatomy!!!!! Or any other science class other than chemistry

Least Favorite Subject In School: Math:(

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Birthstone: Aquamarine

Twilight Team: TEAM JACOB 100%

Favorite Characters In Books: Jacob Black--Twilight Saga, Alex Fuentes--Perfect Chemistry, Carlos Fuentes--Rules of Attraction, Sodapop Curtis--The Outsiders, Cole--Night Road

Favorite Couples In Twilight: KimXJared, AliceXJasper, SamXEmily, CarlisleXEsme

Looks: I have longish dark brown hairs and brown eyes. I'm 5',5'' and _ pounds...I'm not telling;)

Least Favorite Books: The Entire Harry Potter Series and that's about it;)

Least Favorite Chocolate Bars: Almond Joy

Least Favorite Artists: Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, George Straight, Kelly Pickler

Least Favorite Drink: Water

Least Favorite Fast Food Joint: Taco Bell

Least Favorite Color: Blue, Pink, or Purple

Least Favorite Junk Food: Flamin' Hot Cheetos (blech...)

Least Favorite Month: April

Least Favorite Season: Winter

I am a Senior in high school. I plan on being a surgeon of some kind when I'm out of school, though I don't know what college I want to go to. I'm thinking about going into the Air Force, but I don't know. I am a very mellow and relaxed person. I LOVE to laugh at anything as long as it;s funny. I rarely get angry, but when I do, it's best to just leave me alone. I'm not a very pretty person when angry. I have one older sister who is 20 and her birthday is on Halloween. I have never gone trick-or-treating in my life before all because of that. I have always wanted to go, though. My mom is the BEST mom in the world, and although we fight (who doesn't?) I wouldn't trade her for anything. I love my family and friends to death. I would take a bullet for them if need be. I am very trustworthy and caring. I am a good listener if anyone wants to talk to me. I love to write stories, and though I have only six stories up, I have many more planned. I am a BIG bookworm and proud of that fact! If you want to ask me anything, just PM me and I'll get back to you;)

Okay, I have been reading A LOT of slash stories for a while and I've got to admit that it's pretty freaking hot!XD I've just recently started writing my own slash stories, so I don't think I'm THAT good, but with practice comes perfect!XD I only ever read slash from two catagories, so...yeah...

Favorite Slash Pairings

Twilight

JacobXEdward
JacobXJasper
JacobXEmmett
JacobXPaul
(Not very often but...)JacobXSam
EdwardXJasper
EdwardXEmmett
JacobXEdwardXJasperXEmmett (XD)

Wrestling

Jeff HardyXMatt Hardy
Jeff HardyXUndertaker
Jeff HardyXTriple H
Jeff HardyXPunk
Jeff HardyXKane
Jeff HardyXRandy Orton
Jeff HardyXJohn Cena
Matt HardyXUndertaker
Matt HardyXChris Jericho
Matt HardyXEdge
Matt HardyXKane
Matt HardyXTriple H
(I love the Hardy Boys XD)

Quotes

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO

If you're always tripping over non-existent objects, imaginary objects, air, grass, and paper clips (to put it simply, if you're a klutz) copy and paste this on your profile

If you think that the book Twilight is better than the movie, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you listen to music when reading fan fiction post this on your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think the Cocoa puffs Turkey Bird thing should go the rehab, copy this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or The O.C. or the Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like Jacob Black better than Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped when there was a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy this to your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile

If you found out about fan fiction on a Google search like I did post this on your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile

98% of teens would scream if they saw the Jonas Brothers on a roof top. Post this if you are part of the 2% that would shout JUMP

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile

5 Truths of Life.
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it
3. The first truth is a lie
4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (Idiot!)
5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face
Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

You know you live in 2010 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take Facebook pics
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/Facebook
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this
9. You were too busy to notice number five
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity
12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did

If you can see that freezer door, tell yourself to duck, and then walk into it anyway, paste this in your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped UP stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you and your friends have made up codenames for boys so they wouldn't know you were talking about them, copy and paste this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A lover stabs you in the heart
Best friends poke each other with straws

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then give it back
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
BEST FRIENDS:Will kick the whole crowds' ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and ask"it's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

You call me a bitch?
Well a bitch is a dog,
Dogs bark,
Bark is on trees,
Trees are a part of nature,
And nature is beautiful,
So thanks for the compliment. :)

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes

I don't obsess, I think intensely

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (I've done atleast half of these!)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total:13

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 8

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL??
Try it without looking at answers
1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….
5) Add the digits together
Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL
is from the list below :
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. Hitler
9. jacobluver113
10. Barack Obama
Ok people stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life

.:LEARN JAPANESE IN 5 MINUTES:.
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah
(I got this from LoveOfMyLifeIs.'s profile;)

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Education is important, school however, is another matter

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Flying is simple, just through yourself at the ground and miss

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.
HE: Your place or mine?
SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.
HE: Does beauty run in your family?
SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours.
HE: I can see forever in your eyes.
SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.
HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.
SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.
HE: You're like a dream.
SHE: Go back to sleep.
HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?
SHE: Chloroform.
HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.
HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.
HE: I think you're th best looking girl here.
SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Sure, but only if you buy my girlfriend one too.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Whose cruel idea was it for the words ‘lisp’ to have an‘s’ in it

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with his experience

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, it's still on the list

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw fish to them

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify: "I put ‘DOCTOR’

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it

HE SAID: I don't know why you wear a bra: you've nothing to put in it. SHE SAID: You wear pants, don't you?

Tell your boyfriend's pants it's not polite to point

FAKE. It's the latest trend. and everyone seems to be in style

DON'T DRINK WATER: fish have sex in it

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, fuck the fruit

You can't make a person love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words

I'm so gangsta. I carry a squirt gun

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
Opening Credits: Stupid Girls--P!nk
Waking Up: Take It Off--Ke$ha
First Day At School: My Sacifice--Creed
Making Your New Best Friend: Beautiful You--Jonny Diaz
Falling In Love: Suddenly--Creed (Ha ha ha ha!!!!!!)
Breaking Up: On My Sleeve--Creed (Wow...creepy...)
Prom: Rebirthing--Skillet
Graduation: Amarillo Sky--Jason Aldean (Beautiful:)
Life's Okay: My Wish--Rascal Flatts
Death Of A Close Friend: My Immortal--Evanescence (Again...creey...)
Mental Breakdown: Crash--Decyfer Down (Ha! The irony!)
Driving: The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia--Reba
Flashback: Kryptonite--3 Doors Down
Getting Back Together: Going Under--Evanescence
Birth Of A Child: Next Contestant--Nickelback
Wedding Scene: In The End--Linkin Park
Car Accident: Sober--P!nk (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!)
Final Battle: Crashed--Daughtry (Would have been funnier if this was for Car Accident;)
Death Scene: You Give Love A Bad Name--Bon Jovi (Wowwwwww...;)
Funeral Song: It's Not Me It's You--Skillet
End Credits: The Naughty Song--Cory Lee ( ;) Hee hee...)
Deleted Scenes: Hotel California--The Eagles

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

I want to do peacfully in my sleep like Grandpa did...not screaming like the passengers in his car

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens

I do not deny everything

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Hold my purse

If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain...

I swear that someone in the dark corners of my room, there is a secret tribe of single socks hiding and laughing their asses off at me

That mini heart attack you get when you're walking down the stairs and your foot slips on a step and you attack the handrail with your kung fu death grip

When someone yells at you to stop clicking your pen, so you do, but then realize that you have to click it one more time to use it

Yelling, "Run, Forrest! Run!" whenever you see someone running

No matter how old or how young you are, whether you're male or female, whenever you see a bubble, you will try your hardest to try and get it

The Rugrats, Hey Arnold!, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Dexter's Labratory, Rocket Power, and The Wildthornberries
All great shows when cartoons were the SHIZ!

Hot Girl: Ha ha! What a nerd!
Me: He'll probably your boss one day, so watch what you say
Nerd: No, I won't be her boss because I don't plan on becoming a pimp
Class: Ohhhhh

Some of you may know Shia LaBeouf as the guy from the Transformers movies, but us 90s kids know him from Even Stevens, The Even Stevens Movie, and the film Holes

The hardest job in the world would have to be in a bubble wrap factory. Could you imagine the self control? "Must not pop bubbles...must not pop bubbles..."

When I'm in the shower, I let the water run down my arms so it looks like I can shoot water out from my fingertips

Dear people reading this,
AM I MAKING YOU YELL IN YOUR HEAD?
Sincerely,
the CAPS lock

I really want to be chased by a cop car while I'm on a motorcycle so I can shout BUMBLEBEE!

For a very short period of time, I was once the younget person in the world

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God

10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I just made your horn louder

I smile because I have no idea what's going on

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

Boy: Hey, baby. You wanna come over tonight?
Girl: Sure! What are we gonna do?
Boy: I'll give you a hint. It involves pillows and blankets
Girl: OH MY GOD! WE'RE GONNA BUILD A FORT!?!

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room temperature

30 reasons why girls are the best:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. It took the vilest, most evil creature in the universe to convince Eve to eat the apple but it only took a woman to convince Adam.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

Mom, it doesn't matter if I go to bed at 10pm or 2am, I will wake up at 6am and still be tired

Checking your phone to see the time and then checking it again because you weren't paying attention the first time

That "Oh Sh*t Moment" when you try to kill a wasp and you miss

Why. Is. It. That. When. I. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. My. Head. Takes. Little. Pauses?

When Ash from Pokemon turns his hat backwards, you know some shiz is about to go down...

When I'm the last person to go to bed and I have to turn off my light, I clear the path from my light switch to my room, get my phone ready as a torch, and then switch the lights off and sprint to my bed so the monster under my bed doesn't get me

Did you know that everybody has two addresses memorized already? Thier address and P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

Mentally saying Wed-Nes-Day before writing it down

When your mom counts to 3:
Mom: One!
You: Do you really think counting is going to make me do anything?
Mom: Two!
You: Alright, I'm going!

Being so bored in class that you trace the stapler in the corner of the paper

Why is that when my mom looks for something, it magically appears?

So, if a tamato is a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Me: I'm a ninja
Friend: No you're not
Me: Yes I am. Did you see me do that?
Friend: Do what?
Me: EXACTLY!

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it a hostage situation?

Coloring In School
Elementary School: Yay! Pretty colors!
Middle School: This is so dumb...
High School: Who the F*CK took the red!?!

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate

Some see the glass as half empty. Others see it as half full. Me? I just want to know who's drinking my freakin' soda

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Fake ()() Perfect (o)(o) Perky (*)(*) Cold ()() and even Grandma's \./\./ Big ( o )( o ) or small (.)(.) Save them all! Support Breast Cancer!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...if well aimed

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Savannah
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
Savizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Red Cheetah
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
Elizabeth Dexter
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
Skesaley
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Black Dr. Pepper
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
Aezamke
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
Michele
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
Black Shadow

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

My life is a movie
God is my director
People are my audience
My successes are the credits

Soldiers should get paid more than football players
Soldiers save your country and save our lives
Football players kick a ball

I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,
I know I like to read,
I know I like school, even teachers.
BUT:
I know I have true friends,
I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.

Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.
Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.
Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.
Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.
Calling me Fat, won't make you Perfect?
So why bother?

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

1994: Do YOU remember the 90s??
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.
You're a 90's kid if You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack
When football was a daily activity.
When we used to obey our parents.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You remember The Original Game Boy.
You always wanted to send in a tape to You’ve Been Framed...but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on CBBC.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Wally books.
You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum.
You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters
You remember Ring Pops.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
One word...trolls.
Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Ra ngers -Rocket Power.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears Lambchop's song never ended.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
Everyone watched the WB.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand"...enough said
You went to McDonald's to play in the play area.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy...Before the Internet & text messaging...Before Sidekicks & iPods...Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360...Before Spongebob.
Before Tupac was shot.
When light up trainers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 45p a litre.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
You had slap bracelets!
You actually played outside until it was dark! Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days... Highlight the ones that apply to you!

Do it one by one, don't look ahead
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex
Justin
2. Which is your favourite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow
Red
3. Your first initial
S
4. Your month of birth
March
5. Which color do you like more, black or white
Black
6. Name a person of the same sex as yours
Kristen
7. Your favourite number
13
8. Do you like California or Florida more
Florida
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more
Ocean
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one)
I find THE one
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love
Black: You are conservative and aggressive
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that won't last long but the memories will last forever
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and experience a major life changing experience for the good
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate
5. If you choose..
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do and will do anything for you, but you may not realize it
6. This person is your best friend
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime
8. If you choose..
California: You like an adventure
Florida: You are a laidback person
9. If you choose..
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people
10. This wish will come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

48 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:

1) What color is your toothbrush?
White and purple
2) Name one person who made you smile today:
My best friend, Kristen
3) What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
Listening to my math teacher
4) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Updating my FanFiction profile
5) What is your favorite candy bar?
Snickers
6) What is the last thing you said aloud?
Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me lyrics by Tata Young
7) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Cookie Dough
8) What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water
9) Do you like your wallet?
Yep!
10) What was the last thing you ate?
2 chocolate chip cookies
11) Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No
12) The last sporting event you watched?
THE BRONCOS GETTING THEIR BUTTS WHIPPED!!!
13) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
The only popcorn I'll eat it caramel corn. I HATE popcorn
14) Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
My best friend, Kristen
15) Ever go camping?
Only 2 times. I liked it, though
16) Do you take vitamins daily?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...no
17) Do you go to church every Sunday?
I used to
18) Do you have a tan?
Yes
19) Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
HELLZ YEAH!!!
20) Do you drink your soda with a straw?
At a restuarant I do, but at home I drink it out of the can
21) What did your last text message say?
Just saying
22) What are you doing tomorrow?
School...
23) Look to your left, what do you see?
A poster of Jacob Black;)
24) What color is your watch?
I don't own a watch
25) What do you think of when you hear Australia?
The Crocodile Hunter
26) What is your birthstone?
Aquamarine
27) Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Drive-thru
28) What is your favorite number?
13
29) Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
My sister
30) Any plans today?
Not really
31) How many states have you lived in?
Three, but I have moved 13 times in my life...
32) Biggest annoyance right now?
Nothing right now
33) Last song listened to?
Impossible by Manafest
34) Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Yes
35) Do you have a maid service clean your house?
I wish...
36) Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Tennis shoes
37) Are you jealous of anyone?
Ohhhhh yeahhhhh
38) Is anyone jealous of you?
I don't know
39) Do you love anyone?
My friends and family
40) Do any of your friends have children?
Nope
41) What do you usually do during the day?
School and check my e-mails. I also get on FanFiction everyday
42) Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
A few select people
43) Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
No, I saw hey
44) What color is your car?
Don't have a car.
45) Do you like cats?
Hate 'em
46) Are you thinking about someone right now?
Nope
47) Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Of course:)
48) How did you get your worst scar?
I fell down a concrete wall and gave myself a small hole in my leg:(

THE 'Let's Get To Know jacobluver113 A Little Better' QUIZ:
Are you a morning or night person?
Night. What, are yiu crazy?
Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?
Ummmmm...sweet. Duh!:)
Ninjas or pirates?
Wow, hard question. I'll have to say...pirates.
Ninjas vs. pirates, discuss.
Pirates. They'll kick the ninjas' asses any day of the week!
Autobots or Decepticons?
Autobots. One word. Bumblebee;)
What was your favorite childhood television program?
My all time favorite program would have to be between Cartoonnetwork or Nickelodeon. AND I MEAN THE OLD CARTOONNETWORK AND NICKOLODEON!!! NOT THE CRAPPY VERSIONS THAT THEY HAVE TODAY!!!!
Are you a collector of anything?
Nope
If you could be any animal, what would you be?
A lion or a cheetah. A lion because they are so powerful and majestic. And a cheetah because they're my favorite animal:)
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
I would like to either, see into the future, read peoples' minds, or be invisible
What is usually your first thought when you wake up?
IT'S TOO EARLY!!! (even though it was like 12 in the afternoon XD)
What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?
Nothing in particular...
What's your favorite colour?
A dark red color
What's your favorite animal?
Cheetah
Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?
No. But I do believe in UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects)
Do you believe in ghosts?
Hellz yeah!
Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?
Not really
You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?
A car, college, and books!!
Have any bad habits?
A crack my knuckles and bite my nails. I should really stop...
Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?
When people can not spell things correctly or use wrong grammar. It drives me up the freakin' wall! Use the English language respectfully! Don't butcher it! Also, when people talk in text in real life and while texting. If I ever hear/see another LOL again, I swear I'm going to shoot someone!
List 3 of your best personality traits:
I am (most of the time) a happy person, but not at all preppy, I am an amazing listener, and I'm loyal to my friends and family
List 3 of your worst personality traits:
I can be very loud sometimes, especially if I'm overly excited about something, I can also be a very conceited person when the time arises, and I don't listen to certain things if I'm not interested
Have any celebrity crushes?
Taylor Launter! Yummy yummy;) And also Leonardo DiCaprio (when he was younger), Orlando Bloom, Jason Aldean, Keith Uban, and Shia Labeouf
List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself:
My eyes. I HATE brown eyes. I don't think they're pretty at all. I prefere a deep green, but what can I do?
Any tattoos or piercings?
I have my ears peirced, one on each lobe. The usual. I'm thinking about getting my belly button pierced, but that's as far as peircings go. Now tattoos...the most I'm planning on getting is three. For sure I'm getting two. The first one will be with my sister (I don't know what we're getting to be exact, but we're getting the same one) on my lower back, or a tramp stamp, as it is called. And the second one is going to be of my all time favorite cartoon character, the Tasmanian Devil! He's going to be in his tornado form, but you can see his face and arms. And he's going to either be on my left upper arm or on the left side of my chest
What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Their eyes, prefereably blue;)
What personality traits do you look for in a partner?
My number one rule on traits is the best sense of humor of all time. He has to laugh at anything and everything, including himself. Honesty is also a key factor. He also has to be protective, but not TOO protective to where it's overbearing. He also has to be able to cry a few times. It shows that he's actually a human;) But he can't cry too much. If he cries more than me (and I barely even cry:) than it's a big no no!
What personality traits do you dislike in other people?
Dishonesty and cowardice. Be a man and own up to your responsibilities, please! Take chances and go for risks! And that's about it.
Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?
Well, I can see it, but I am definitely not planning on it!
Are you mostly a clean or messy person?
I'm in between, but leaning towards messy:)
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
In the past: Ancient Egyptian times, the Mayans, the Old West, in England during Queen Elizabeth I's time, or in France during Marie Antoinette's time:)
In the present: TEXAS!! Pretty much anywhere in the South XD
If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Spain, for sure!
List 5 goals on your life's to-do list:
1: Become a successful surgeon
2: Find "the one"
3: Visit my favorite places around the world
4: Go to a foreign speaking country and teach English for a few years
5: Live life
Name 1 regret you have:
Not stopping to "smell the roses"
Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid:
How carefree and innocent I was. And also all the AWESOME TV shows there were XD
Name 1 thing you love about being an adult:
The responsibilities and the freedom
What's your favorite song of the moment?
Don't Take The Girl by Tim Mcgraw
What's your favorite song of all time?
Rapture by Hurt
What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
Sit back and read a book or two or get online and read fanfics
What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?
Read previous question
Have any hidden talents?
I know the ABCs in sign language, even though I have no current use for it:) I can't think of anything else, though...
You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?
Honey glazed ham with mashed potatos and a side of gravy...yummy
What would be your dream job?
A surgeon of some kind (I haven't quite decided, yet) though I do know that I want to work somewhere in the abdomen
Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?
True love
If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?
1:To have my soul mate
2:Read minds
3:Get an awesome car that never breaks down and doesn't get damaged, no matter what (prefereably a red convertible Corvette or a black and red Camaro;)
Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?
Hell no! Being a girl comes naturally to me XD
Name 1 thing not many people know about you:
I am terrified of ghosts
If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?
I love my name, but if I had to, I would choose Allora or Anastasia
Do you believe in the afterlife?
Yes I do
On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?
? I love cookies...
Re-Post this and share some things about yourself :)

1. How did you get one of your scars? Falling down a concrete wall
2. What is on the walls in your room? Two pictures of Taylor Launter, a calender, and I black-and-white picture teaching her daughter how to make a rosarie
3. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep? No
4. What type of music do you listen to? Country
5. Do you know what time you were born? Yes. 6:11pm
6. What do you want more than anything right now? Nothing right now
7. What do you miss? My carefree childhood
8. What is your most prized possession(s)? Either my laptop, my phone, or the stack of my favorite books on my nightstand
10. Do you get claustrophobic? Not really
11. Do you get scared of the dark? Occasionally
12. The last person that made you cry? My sister
13. What is your favorite perfume for a girl? I don't have a favorite perfume
14. What kind of hair/eye color do you like on the opposite sex? Brown/Green
15. Where can you see yourself being proposed to? In my living room
16. Coffee or energy drink? Energy Drink
17. What is your favorite pizza topping? Hawaiian
18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? White chocolate covered pretzels
21. What was the first meaningful gift you ever received? A stuffed Basset Hound named Tracker
22. Do you like anybody? No
23. Are you double jointed? I wish
24. Favorite clothing brand? Don't have one. I HATE clothes shopping
26. Do you have a pet? Used to
27. What kind is it? Three dogs
28. Would you fall in love knowing that the person was leaving? Probably
29. What is the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you? Through words
30. Write a number from one to a hundred: 13
31. Blonds or brunettes? Brunettes
32. What is the one number you call most often? I hardly ever use my phone to call people, but if so, my mom's
33. What annoys you most? Spelling and grammatical errors
34. Have you been out of the USA? Um...yeah. I sort of live there...
35. Your weaknesses? Chocolate, my laptop, and a really good book
36. Met anyone famous? No
37. First job? I don't have one at the moment, but I am searching
38. Ever made a prank call? No
40. What were you doing before you filled this out? Listening to music
41. Have you ever had surgery? No, but I wish I did
42. What do you get complimented about most? My smile
43. Have you ever had braces? No, but my sister has
44. What do you want for your birthday? A tattoo
45. How many kids do you want? Two
46. Were you named after someone? No. I was named after a movie
47. Do you wish on stars? No
49. What kind of shampoo do you use? Anything that gets the job done
50. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes
51. What is your favorite lunch meat? Sliced honet glazed ham
52. Any bad habits? Cracking my knuckles and biting my nails
53. What CD are you most embarrassed to have on your shelf? Kidz Bop 8
54. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes
56. Do looks matter? No
57. How do you release anger? Reading or listening to music
58. Where is your second home? My room
60. What was your favorite toy as a child? A plastic dog on four red wheels
61. How many numbers do you have on your cell phone? Twenty-nine
62. Were you a fan of Barney as a kid? No
63. Do you use sarcasm? When the time arises
64. Mashed potatoes or Macaroni cheese? Mashed Patatos
65. What do you look for in a guy/girl? A great sense of humor
66. What are your nicknames? SAVAANAH BANAANA, Savanskee
68. What's your favorite television show? Face Off, Reba, America's Got Talent Being Human, The Deadliest Warrior
69. What was your actual SAT score? I haven't taken one, but my ACT score was 20
70. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Cookie Dough
71. Do you have all your fingers and toes? I would hope so
72. When was the last time you worked out? My sophmore year of high school...
73. Did you notice there was no question 25? Yes
74. What's the fastest you've gone in a car? 80
75. Do you want everyone to answer these questions? Sure
76. What are you listening to? Right There--Nicole Scherzinger
77. Last thing you drank? Orange Juice
78. Last person you talked to on the phone? The police (My neighbors were robbed and I was a witness. Don't worry)
79. What's the first thing you noticed in the opposite/same sex? Sense of humor, honest, loyal, a great listener
80. Favorite thought-provoking song? I don't know
81. Favorite thing to hate? Stupid people and girls who think they're the shiz when in reality, they really aren't
82. Favorite month of the year? March
83. Favorite zodiac sign? Aries. Duh
85. What is your hair color? Brown
86. Eye color? Dark brown
89. Favorite fast food restaurant? BK
90. Do you like sushi? HELLZ YEAH!
91. Last thing you watched? One Man Army
92. Favorite day of the year? Christmas
93. Play any musical instruments? HA! Next question, please
94. Republican or Democrat? Republican
95. Kisses or hugs? Kisses. You just don't give kisses to anyone
96. Relationships or one night stands? Isn't that obvious? Relationships
97. What was the last thing you bought? Lunch
98. What kind of car do you have? Nissan Maxima and I think it's a 2002
99. What book are you reading? Perfect Chemistry--Simone Elkeles
100. Describe your love life: Single

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a dick/bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I’m BRUNETTE, so there for I consider my life is better than blondes or redheads.
I don't believe in God so I MUST be evil and should be ashamed.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a SADIST, so I MUST go out and beat people up every night.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store or a petrol station.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR SOME BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I’m the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a bitch.
I HAVE a lot of GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm ARGENTINE, so I MUST be a dulce de leche-addicted jerk.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be with the mafia.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be SOCIAL.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling prick.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars

I consider myself like a crayon. I might not be your favorite color, but one day you're going to need me to complete your picture

Why do girls eat chocolate and boys drink beer after a breakup?
Because the sweetness of the chocolate makes the girls forget the bitterness of the breakup while the bitterness of the beer makes guys forget the sweetness of the girl

Guy: I'm jealous of your pillow
Girl: Why?
Guy: It sleeps next to you every night, it wipes away your tears, you hug it a lot, and it gets to see you all the time

Rules Of Love
Kiss On The Lips: I Love You
Kiss On The Ear: You Are Special
Kiss On The Cheek: Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead: I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck: I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder: You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else: Be Careful
Play With Hair: Can't Live Without You
Hold Hands: Happiness
Arms Around Waist: You Are Mine And I Need You
A Hug: I Care
Nibble On Ear: Start Warming Up
Smiling At Each Other: I Like You
Looking Around: Hiding Feelings
Tear Drop: I'm Losing You
Crying: I Lost You

If I could be any part of you, I would be your tears
Conceived in the heart
Born in your eyes
Live on your cheeks
And die on your lips

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second person, because if you truely loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the second

There's nothing more attractive than a guy who doesn't know he's attractive

If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries

Meeting you was fate
Becoming your friend was choice
But falling in love with you was out of my control

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

Girls Don't Realize These things;
I'm sorry

that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry
That I cared
I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you

Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose me or your life
Boy: My life
Girl: Would you be cry if I walked away?
Boy: No
Hearing too much, the girl walks away in tears. When she's about to leave, the boy grabs her arm and says:
I don't like you, I LOVE you
You don't cross my mind, you're ALWAYS on my mind
I don't want you, I NEED you
I wouldn't live for you, I would DIE for you
I choose my life because you ARE my life
And, baby, I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would DIE

I'll buy you 11 Roses; 10 real and 1 fake. And I'll love you until the last rose dies

I will only stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw the legless guy walk on water

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye

When you say Forks, I say La Push.
You say Emmett, I say Paul.
You say Jasper, I say Seth.
You say Edward, I say Jacob.
You say Cullens, I say The Pack.
You say I'm crazy, I say "Takes one to know one"

Girls love Edward. Women love Jacob. Shows who’s more realistic

Team Jacob because real men don’t sparkle

Jacob glared at the kids dressed as vampires for Halloween and lied and said he was all out of candy

And so the human fell in love with the fictional werewolf...

Thє Twιlιght Sαgα ιs α Drug...
And I'm Proud To Bє Addιctєd!!!!

I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
To sєє thє NΣW MOON
And ιf I'm luckч
I'll sєє thє ΣCLIPSΣ
At BЯΣΛKING DΛWN
And thє wholє tιmє
I'm sιttιng with чou
Undєr thє MIDNIGHT SUN

ºø„ºø„„øº„øº
ºø„Twilight„øº
„øº ROX!!ºø„
„øº„øººø„ºø.

•.(•. .•).•
«• тωιℓιgнт •» •.(•. .•).•
«• ηєω мσση •» •.(•. .•).•
«• єℓιρѕє •» •.(•. .•).•
«•вяєαкιηg αωη•» •.(•. .•).•

xø„ºø„„øº„øº x
xºø„ Jacob Black „øº x
x„øºSuper Hotºø„ x
x„øº„øººø„ºø„x

Jacob Black's bringin' sexy back

JACOB BLACK doesn't have to toast at 108.9 degrees F to have me SWEATING...!

TWILIGHT: noun, 1. period between afternoon and nighttime 2. the first textually transmitted disease

Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...

A Twilight Survey
Which book in the series is your favorite?
New Moon
How long did it take you to read the books?
A few months at the most
Who introduced you to the books?
No one, really. A t first I HATED the Twilight Saga before I read the books. But one day my mom made me watch Twilight the movie and I thought it looked interesting. So I tried out the books. And the rest is history
Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
I bought the book Twilight, but I checked out New Moon, Eclipse, and Braking Dawn from the library
Are you most looking forward to: Midnight Sun, or the movie?
Midnight Sun (even though I despise Edward, I want to see the book in a different POV
What's your dream ending to the series?
No Renesmee!!! I DON'T LIKE HER!!!! Other than that, it was good;)
Favorites:
Who is your favorite character?
Jacob;)
Who's your favorite vampire?
Jasper
Who is your favorite werewolf?
Jacob
What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
"Does my being half-naked bother you?"--Jacob to Bella in Eclipse
What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?
None. I hate Edward and I don't like Bella that much, either
What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
THE SLEEPING BAG SCENE!!!!! OR WHEN THEY KISSED BEFORE JACOB JOINED THE FIGHT!!!! SOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!
How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?
When Alice was getting Bella ready for her wedding
What was your favorite adventure/battle?
I guess when the werewolves were fighting the newborns, though there wasn't much of a description...
Which book cover was your favorite?
Eclipse
Are these books among your favorite books of all?
HELLZ YEAH!!!!

Twilight Survey
Bella or Alice
Alice
Emmett or Jasper
Jasper
Edward or Jacob
Jacob
New Moon or Eclipse
New Moon
Twilight or Breaking Dawn
Breakin Dawn
Esme or Emily
Emily
Carlisle or Charlie
Carlisle
Rosalie or Tanya
Rosalie
Rosalie or Alice
Alice
Mike or Edward
Mike
Tyler or Eric
Tyler
Eric or Mike
Mike
Team Jacob or Team Edward
TEAM JACOB!!!!!
Porsche or Volvo
Porsche
'55 Chevy or Volvo
'55 Chevy
Werewolves or Vampires
Werewolves
Movie or Book
Book
Bella and Edward or Bella and Jacob
Bella and Jacob (Well...could I say Jacob and me? Ha ha ha just kidding...somewhat)
Bella's Lullaby or Esme's Favorite
Esme's Favorite

List You Favorite 12 Twilight Characters
1-Jacob
2-Jasper
3-Paul
4-Jared
5-Emmett
6-Carlisle
7-Embry
8-Quil
9-Seth
10-Emily
11-Alice
12-Edward

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Carlisle and Alice...I sure have
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Jared...Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh
3) What would happen if Three got Four pregnant?
If Paul got Jared pregnant...I can't even see that
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
There are a lot about Seth. Seth is fan favorite
5) Would Two and Eleven make a good couple?
They already are:) Jasper and Alice. So yes, they would make a good couple
6) Five/Eight or Five/Ten?
Emmett and Quil or Emmett and Emily? Well, I guess the most believable one for me is Emmett and Emily, but I can't see it
7) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
When Emily and Sam have a fight, Emily runs out of the house, looking to seek some solace, but what she finds instead turns her life and world into upsidedown spial. (Paul and Emily)
8) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
An Embry and Edward hurt/comfort fic? Uhhh...Rluctant Hope...?
9) Does anyone on your friends list that reads the series think Three is hot?
Paul? I'm the only one that thinks he's fine as hell!!! (Besides Jacob, of course)
10) What might Three scream at a moment of great passion?
GRRRRRR!!! I HAVE ANGER ISSUES!!!! GRRRR!!! (Paul)
11) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Maybe a kid song because of Clair, ha ha ha!!! (Quil)
12) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
A Jacob/Carlisle/Edward warning? Prepared to be grossed out and laugh your asses off for bos will be boys!
13) What might be a good pick-up line for One to use on Two?
Jacob to Jasper. "Wanna see my tale?" Ha ha ha ha!!
14) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I can't remember when the last time I read an Emmett fanfic

List You Favorite 12 Perfect Chemistry/Rules Of Attraction Characters
1-Alex
2-Carlos
3-Luis
4-Paco
5-Kiara
6-Tuck
7-Ram
8-Prof. Westford
9-Brandon
10-Brittany
11-Colin
12-Darlene

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Tuck and Colin? Nope!
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Paco...Smokin'!!!
3) What would happen if Three got Four pregnant?
Luis shouldn't be having sex at eleven years old!
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
No, but I'm sure that there's hope for Brandon;)
5) Would Two and Eleven make a good couple?
Carlos and Colin? OH HELL NO!! HA HA HA HA!!!
6) Five/Eight or Five/Ten?
Kiara/Brandon or Kiara/Brittany? I would have to say Kiara/Brittany, though I can't really see it...
7) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
Luis/Brittany; Luis always feels like Alex is too protective and always hanging behind his shoulder. When Alexpushes Luis a little too far, though, the youngest Fuentes has a revenge plan...
8) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
Ram/Darlene; Shining Tears
9) Does anyone on your friends list that reads the series think Three is hot?
No...but they think that Luis is cute as hell:)
10) What might Three scream at a moment of great passion?
"COME TO ME, NENAS!!" HA HA HA!!! I LOVE LUIS!!!
11) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
In The Arms Of The Angels by Sarah McLachlin because Prof. Westford saved Carlos:)
12) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
An Alex/Tuck/Darlene warning would be: WARNING!! Two boys give a bitch an attitude adjustment!!!
13) What might be a good pick-up line for One to use on Two?
A pick up line for Alex to use on Carlos? Ummm, "Need a ride on Julio?" HA HA HA HA HA!! I don't know:)
14) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I never had, so...never?

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS
THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE
LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND
SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.
THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get
off the cross?
THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.
THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy
and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...
66% of you won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS
AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread

Eve was made out of a rib of Adam. Not out of his head for a woman to rule over him. Not out of his feet for a woman to be trampled on, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and close to his heart to be loved

Expect anything out of anyone. The Devil was once an Angel

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, '"Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

The Submissive Outfits
Chapter 8 Outfits

Jacob's Attire: http://www.eyotrade.com/proimg/small1/A1/B40/DiscountDressClubLongSleeveHighNeckBlackShortMiniColumnSheathForCheapLS101978-0.jpg

Jacob's Shoes: http://sandals-flipflops.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/strappy-heels.jpg

Embry's Red Dress: http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1656352391_1/EAST-KNITTING-N208-2014-New-Sexy-Club-tops-women-fashion-font-b-long-b-font-font.jpg

Embry's Shoes: http://redhighheels.edublogs.org/files/2011/06/Red-High-Heels-omhv2a.jpg

Quil's Attire: http://www.salebridaldress.com/proimg/small1/A0/B25/ClearanceClubStyleDressesHalterColumnSheathSleevelessBlackShortMiniCheapLS63626-0.jpg

Quil's Shoes: http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Black-size-4-savannah-ankle-strap-New-look-platform-heels-Never-Worn-/00/s/MTA0NVg4NjY=/z/SiYAAOxyu4dRu080/$T2eC16h,!ysE9sy0kzfTBRu080Eu2g60_35.JPG

Chapter 10 Outfits

Jake's Hair: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/d6/45/4f/d6454f1d1bb5f2415fd5d60c27f1bcfa.jpg

Jake's Dress: http://www.hibridal.com/1633-3342-thickbox/strapless-long-white-sequin-prom-dress-for-2012.jpg

Jake's Shoes: http://www.idealsboutique.com/ebay/ideal-boutique-products/NEUTRAL-219-WHITE.jpg

White Amaryllis Flower: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5888/2154/1600/white%20amaryllis%20001.jp

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Mysterious Ways of Nature by WhiteWolfLegend reviews
What if Bunnymund wasn't the last Pooka? What if Mother Nature, Tsar (Manny), Ombric and Old Man Winter had found a Winter Pooka on the brink of death and decided to cast a spell to hide his true form till his true love was revealed in the sake of his protection? What has it got to do with Jack Frost? Everything of course. RA:M M/M yaoi. Jack!Pooka
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 39 - Words: 54,611 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 579 - Follows: 659 - Updated: 5/10/2014 - Published: 6/28/2013 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost
To live it Twice by FrostbittenFae reviews
Another prompt fill! MiM works in mysterious ways, and for one E. Aster Bunnymund, that's just the problem. Millenia ago, before he became a Guardian, he had a mate, but lost them in the Pooka genocide. And for a while, he had gotten over it. But...why did MiM just HAVE to choose Jack bloody Frost as a guardian, and why does he have to be Silvian's personality twin!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,428 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 4/2/2014 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost, Pitch, Sandy
Chasing Waters by NCWhitlock reviews
I coughed while opening the door but was only faced with the expanse of his entire backside; nothing was hidden under the covers like I expected. I used my hands to shield my eyes but kept one looking in curiosity to see who he had under him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 89,423 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 11/18/2013 - Published: 4/10/2012 - Edward, Jasper
Torn by Hank's Lady reviews
Family man Jacob has struggled to suppress his longings for guys, not always successfully, from a young age due to a strict upbringing. Outwardly he has everything, but what happens when he meets Paul on a business trip? Angst ensues and threatens the life he has made for himself.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 119,014 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 10/16/2013 - Published: 7/31/2013 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
While You Were Sleeping by The Third Biker Scholar reviews
TheGodlessAngelOfDarkness's Challenge. Jack, like all seasonal spirits, has to hibernate in the off season. He chooses the Warren as his place to sleep, but unknown to him, Bunnymund is about to go into heat! How long can Bunny resist the sight of a sleeping winter spirit? Cover art by Asameshii at Deviantart
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,734 - Reviews: 968 - Favs: 980 - Follows: 1,218 - Updated: 7/13/2013 - Published: 3/13/2013 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost
Stregone Benefici by loopylou992 reviews
Dr Carlisle Cullen is working in the hospitals of Chicago during the Spanish Influenza epidemic when he meets a young man who is dying from the disease. Can he save him, while also damning him to the immortal life he inhabits? Is his heart ruling his head, or will this young man be by his side forever. Written for Delphius Fanfic's birthday. *M/M pairing*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,597 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 23 - Published: 7/7/2013 - Carlisle, Edward
Screamworks by NeroAnne reviews
"Jeff could feel everything that was being done to him," Matt whispered, the feeling of Evan's fingers in his hair soothing him only a bit, "…but he just could not move." SLASH.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Suspense - Chapters: 19 - Words: 65,590 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 6/9/2013 - Published: 9/18/2010 - Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy
If on a Winter's Night by Touchstone67 reviews
One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 556,342 - Reviews: 3537 - Favs: 938 - Follows: 1,005 - Updated: 6/2/2013 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Edward, Jasper
Driven To Distraction by AbstractSong101 reviews
You meet all kinds of people when you're a driver for a living. Carlisle thought he had seen it all, but when Edward Masen's eyes met his in the rear-view mirror, a whole new world opened up to him. AH. Carlward slash. M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 134,775 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
The Longest Year by Domward's Mistress reviews
"I want to do this. Not only for him, but to prove that I can, to show him that I want to be everything he could ever desire. I am his. This will be my truest act of submission to date, and I cant wait to make him proud." Rated M. Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,751 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 4/6/2013 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Edward, Jasper
If Only by sadtomato reviews
Edward likes girls. Jake likes boys. It's never been a problem for them as best friends and roommates. What happens when the lines start to blur? Can your love for your best friend become something more? SLASH. M Exhibitionism, lemons, grownup feelings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 54,264 - Reviews: 2473 - Favs: 1,176 - Follows: 649 - Updated: 2/24/2013 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Lift the Lid off your Hearts Casket by NeroAnne reviews
He was an odd boy, with the power to make you both lust and love…even when he never meant to. All Avengers/Jeff Hardy oneshots. First up: Steve Rogers Captain America /Jeff Hardy.
Crossover - Wrestling & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,777 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Jeff Hardy, Captain America/Steve R.
Sold to a Hardy by Terrahfry reviews
Slash- M/M, Matt/Adam/Jeff, Randy/Adam. Vickie is tired of Edge, so she sells his contract. To Matt Hardy. He has plans for his nemesis, but Jeff gets to him first. AU, OOC will ensue. Ft. Hardyz, Edge, & Randy. Done!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 108,343 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Edge, Matt Hardy - Complete
Dry by BreakingFable reviews
Jeff is a slave to Gangrel, bound by the blood he was forced to drink years ago. After years of being abused by the vampire, can a mysterious stranger help him break his curse? Jeff/Matt Hardy, Gangrel, Edge, Christian
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 46,921 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/11/2012 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy
The Major's Pet by OCDJen reviews
In a world of violence where humans are food and pets, can a special pet become the love of a certain Major? Written for Ealasaid77 birthday. Human/Vamp, DARK FIC!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,153 - Reviews: 812 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 495 - Updated: 5/20/2012 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Murder City Saints by redsandman99 reviews
Vigilantes, heroes, modern day folk legends--the Murder City Saints were called a lot of things. But as they fight to keep control of their city, they find themselves the target of both the criminals and the police. Feat. Hardys, Mark, James, Glenn, etc.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Crime - Chapters: 39 - Words: 93,043 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/12/2012 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy
Uncomfortable by Savannah-Vee reviews
Got 'Best Angst' mention in 'Slash Backslash' contest! 'The way he looks at me makes me feel...uncomfortable.' Jasper's girlfriend's brother, Edward, keeps staring at him. Why? Who knows. Seems like even Edward is confused...SLASH, AH, very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 87,718 - Reviews: 2923 - Favs: 1,451 - Follows: 1,763 - Updated: 4/16/2012 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Jasper, Edward
The Burning by NeroAnne reviews
Deep down, they hated each other. Deeper down still, they lusted for each other. All the way down at the bottom…they loved each other. On top of all that, though, they envied each other. SLASH! Hardycest!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 49,562 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy
Bad Romance by redsandman99 reviews
Sometimes love can go horribly, horribly wrong...
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,614 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/20/2012 - Published: 2/11/2010 - Edge, Jeff Hardy
Playing For Keeps by JasperLuver48 reviews
Emmett needs help studying for his Anatomy course and knows Edward is the key to acing the class. When their study session turns into so much more, will he be able to handle it or will Edward slip through his fingers? Written for BlazedToker's Birthday!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,878 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 64 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Emmett, Edward
One Kiss by Hank's Lady reviews
Paul's story - a teenage boy desperate for some fun wherever he can find it, which often lands him in trouble and earns him beatings from a violent father. At the age of 15 he moves to La Push and finds torment, confusion and love.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 63,382 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Paul, Jacob - Complete
Tight End by Lipsmacked reviews
Emmett Cullen, tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, falls for a sexy mechanic. Emmett/Jacob. AH/AU. o/s
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,012 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 35 - Published: 11/16/2011 - Emmett, Jacob - Complete
Skeleton Skyline by NanaMun reviews
Edward is cold, isolated and just as desolate as the landscape of North America, but a newcomer changes everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,094 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 10/27/2011 - Published: 10/6/2011 - Edward, Jacob
Unexpected by redsandman99 reviews
Glenn's life gets turned upside down when he catches Jeff's attention.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,549 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 5/20/2011 - Kane, Jeff Hardy - Complete
Seduction by TwLiGhTeD-sLaSh reviews
Edward and Jacob are having problems in their relationship. Work consumes Edward which leaves Jacob hot and bothered. Enter Emmett McCarthy. The very sexy and very married new neighbor who becomes a complication for them. SLASH/LEMONS J/Ed possible J/EM
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 27,218 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Jacob, Edward
Juicy by RogueMichinNyun reviews
Three men and one relationship changes everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 55,987 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 39 - Published: 7/17/2011 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
Our House by NanaMun reviews
Jacob meets the new neighbors - 3 odd, but beautiful men, who share an unconventional connection. And he feels it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 50,068 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Tears from Heaven by slashdlite reviews
Matt Hardy embezzled a large sum of money from his employers, who ran the New York underworld and went into hiding. They wanted their money back and the only way to flush Matt out was through his brother. Slash -Jeff/Cena, Jeff/Randy, Jeff/Mark.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 119,676 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Jeff Hardy, Randy Orton - Complete
How Many Licks? by RockinThatAfroPic reviews
Anonymity can sometimes make an encounter that much more thrilling. Two boys separated by a physical barrier, while one brings the other to the ultimate climax... through a hole in the stall. Gasp contains malexmale glory hole action and great laughs. R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,717 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 26 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Trouble by Savannah-Vee reviews
'I was startled to see a boy, from the lecture obviously, standing before my desk. He had a grin that rivaled the Cheshire cat. Trouble, I thought.' Professor Cullen tries to resist troublesome Edward Masen, but the boy makes it almost impossible...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,002 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 37 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
The Black Bandits by DirtyBJH00r Contest reviews
They break into student's dorm rooms for late night pleasure. But one bandit wants to up the stakes by targeting Professor Edward Cullen. What could go wrong? Graphic Lemons. Slash. A o/s for the 'Do you have what it takes to be a DirtyBJH00r' Contest!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,881 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 16 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Emmett, Jacob - Complete
Yes, Professor by NanaMun reviews
Edward Cullen is an English professor with a list of unsuccessful blind dates and an aversion to public speaking. His well, orderly life is thrown through a spin, when a student makes a sexual advance.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26,103 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 32 - Published: 1/10/2011 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Your Love's A Drug by GoinnGaGa reviews
I'm supposed to hate you and until just recently, I did. And now I wonder, why do I want to spend every minute of the day with you? Why do I want to protect you from everything that will hurt you in any way? And why do I love you so much, that it hurts?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,439 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Deception Of A Familiar Heart by Vesuvias reviews
Victor Creed begins to realize his desires for his younger brother, but how will he make James feel the same... MxM Victor/Logan
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,544 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Sabretooth, Logan/Wolverine - Complete
Shattered by Bravada reviews
Adam cheats on Jeff, so Jeff decides to get revenge by cheating back. If only he knew what a mess that would cause... Features the Hardys, Edge, Randy, Cena, and more. Slash.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 64,402 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Jeff Hardy, Randy Orton - Complete
Frozen World, Burning Desires by Dark Kaneanite reviews
Set in Viking era Norway. Chris J. Matt H. Jeff H. and others. /Complete\\
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 40,364 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/6/2010 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy - Complete
A Pinch Becomes a Grab by joeybb reviews
Big-hearted construction owner Jacob visits his timid friend Bella, secretary to narcissist boss Edward, at work. Seeing the way Edward treats his staff like dirt raising his hackles and they soon become violent nemeses. A SLASH two-shot. Edward/Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,202 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 9/3/2010 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
In Venere Veritas by NeroAnne reviews
"In love, there is truth." They've been divorced for three years and want nothing to do with each other. They find themselves coming together when their daughter is kidnapped. Mark/Jeff, AU!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,729 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/25/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - The Undertaker, Jeff Hardy - Complete
The Hunter and His Prey by ReluctantOptimist reviews
Emmett has had his eyes on a certain wolf, so what else is he to do when he loses his prey of antelope but so happens to stumble upon bigger game? He pounces and claims it of course. A very hungry vampire that gets his fill by any means necessary!E/J J/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,687 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 8/25/2010 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Emmett, Jacob
The Three Of Us! by persephone-kore2593 reviews
Jake's pissed off about the way he's being treated, can he get his mates' to understand and what will they do to make it up to him. SLASH. Paul/Jake/Sam.Just a little, filthy Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,226 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 511 - Follows: 84 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Jacob, Sam - Complete
Ride the Cowboy by NanaMun reviews
The new boy from Texas and a particularly fast paced senior find themselves attracted and lusting after one another in their AP American History class.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,820 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/31/2010 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Dark Secret by wrestlefan4 reviews
The marriage was arranged, but his feelings lived else where, in a sinful, wicked place that could be punishable by death. Scandal, lies, deceit, adultery...with another man. Chris/Matt, Chris/? Regal, JBL, Vince, others. Co-authored with Dark Kaneanite!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 61,410 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy
Tap Out by wrestlefan4 reviews
MATTICHO A silly argument between two stubborn men leads to a bet about who has the stronger will to resist the temptation of the other. With sex forbidden, and desires being teased into over-drive, who will win...and who will tap out? MATTICHO xSMUTx
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,678 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 12/6/2009 - Matt Hardy, Chris Jericho - Complete
Renting Pleasure and Pain by kittenmischief reviews
When Carlisle needed to assuage his guilt, he called Eleazar for a Dom to guide his efforts. Can Jasper fulfill Carlisle's needs or only serve his own? Happy Birthday, kaia2008. Outtake to Dark Salvation. BDSM, mature. Carlisle x Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,588 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Carlisle, Jasper - Complete
Forks Host Club by NanaMun reviews
EmmettxJacob A hosting club where men treat women, but who treats the men?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,392 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 52 - Published: 3/8/2010 - Emmett, Jacob - Complete
A Sinful Fantasy by NeroAnne reviews
His baby brother and best friend are going out. He feels left out, so he makes a proposition with his best friend. Matt/Jeff/Adam. High School ficcy!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 45,204 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy - Complete
Heat Of The Moment by AnonymousPunk reviews
Matt Hardy/Edge slash. Later Matt/Jeff Hardycest Don't read if you don't like slash etc etc
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,542 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Matt Hardy, Edge - Complete
Uninvited by BreakingFable reviews
Undertaker pays Jeff a visit one dark and stormy night. Abuse, non-con.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,862 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Jeff Hardy, The Undertaker - Complete
Forbidden Love by NeroAnne reviews
“It’s forbidden, Matty,” Jeff panted, shutting his eyes when Matt kissed his neck, “Forbidden!” Matt responded with a cold smirk, “Sure…it may be forbidden, but it’s also love.” For: AnonymousPunk, XD.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,008 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/14/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy - Complete
Captive by Terrahfry reviews
Edge has had enough of Jeff. So, he him. Will Matt find his brother before Edge gets sick of his new pet? Rated M, b/c it's not for the squeamish. M/M slash. Takes place after Friday after Armageddon. Some AU, OOC, may ensue. Edge/Jeff/Randy. Done
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 67,033 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/21/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Jeff Hardy, Edge - Complete
Slow Torture 'Till Relief by Tahalia001 reviews
What happens when Jacob finds himself in a chamber, chained up, with a mysterious person watching him, thinking of all the things he can do to him..? Slash Edward/Jacob Yaoi! Reviews would be nice
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,217 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Wonderland by Kat Darklighter reviews
An AU alternate universe fic revolving around drug addict Jeff Hardy and his friends and lovers. This story contains slash, Hardycest, violence, language, drug use, attempted rape and abusive relationships. Proceed at will!
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,984 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Complete
Every Bone In Your Body by Kat Darklighter reviews
PWP. Jeff and Chris play a little game. Matt doesn't much like it. Contents include slash, Hardycest, violence, and hurt without much comfort.
Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,558 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/5/2007 - Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Submissive reviews
So many people think the submissive is the weakling and the underling. But they don't have a clue as to what a submissive truly is. My name is Jacob Ephraim Black-Lahote-Uley. And this is my story. FUTURE MPREG and of course SLASH!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,884 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 459 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Jacob, Paul, Sam
My Master, My King reviews
"You are mine." I moaned. "Yes, my king."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/17/2014 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Raw reviews
"I couldn't deny this incredible, insatiable want for all three of them. It felt so...raw." Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and Paul are vying for Jacob's attention. Jake seems to have a big problem. Who is he going to choose? SOME SMEXY SEX BETWEEN FOUR SMEXY GUYS!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 42,740 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 5/9/2013 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Jacob, Paul, Edward, Jasper - Complete
Beautiful Boy reviews
A cute moment between Jake and Jasper when our Southern Cowboy won't let Jake sleep! ONESHOT AND MPREG!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,003 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 22 - Published: 11/4/2012 - Jacob, Jasper - Complete
Unwanted Welcome reviews
Jared can't get Jacob out of his head after that fateful day in Sam's house. Now, he'll do anything to steal him away from Paul to claim what is his. Sequel/Spin-off to Heated Desires! SLASH!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,146 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 9/25/2012 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Jacob, Paul, Jared
Apocalypse reviews
The war has finally begun between werewolf and vampire. Rogue wolves run rapant in the leechs' world. Captured wolves and humans are forced slaves. What will happen when Jacob Black is caught and forced into slavery? And what of his new Master?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 40,092 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Jacob, Edward
Heated Desires reviews
Jacob has gone into heat. With the entire pack trying to get into Jake's pants, he doesn't know who to trust around him. Will someone change his mind, though? SLASH! Jacob/Paul
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,567 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 55 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Anatomy reviews
Edward is attracted to a new boy in his anatomy class. He soon finds himself lusting after him. But he soon gets a whole new lesson on anatomy. And his teacher? None other than Jacob Black. SLASH!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,774 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Jacob, Edward - Complete