Author has written 15 stories for Alex Rider, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight, NCIS, and Harry Potter.
I figured I might as well write on but I seriously dont know if people actually read these...
I AM BEING ATTACKED BY RANDOM PLOT BUNNIES SO YOU WILL PROBABLY GET ALOT OF NEW STORIES OUT OF ME! I WILL TRY TO UPDATE THE HALF A BILLION STORIES I HAVE BUT PLEASE BE PATIENT. CURRENTLY I AM WORKING ON A NEW STORY AND ANOTHER CHAPPIE OF ONE OF THEM. IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHICH ONE.
1.) Alex Rider (my biggest obsession)
2.) K unit and stories with K unit (these are halarious)
3.) Fanfiction (or I wouldnt be sitting here doing this)
4.) Laughing (what is more fun than laughing)
5.) Sarcasm (I find it halarious)
6.) The computer
7.) The tv show Mr. Ed (ya I know its from along time ago and in black and white but I love it)
8.) Horesback riding
9.) My horse Clarke: pronounced Clark (hes my profile avatar thingy)
10.) Sugar (cookies, cake, brownies, cookies, candy, ect.)
11.) Charity work (ya I know, Im one of thos do gooders)
12.) Falling snow (its so pretty)
13.) Jokes (blond, knock knock, i dont care, even if theyre bad)
14.) Dramatic (stories, tv shows, acting dramatic ect. though I also love happy light stories)
15.) Going on holidays (who doesnt like going on holidays?)
16.) Hogans Heroes (so what? i like old shows... do you have a problem with that?)
17.) NCIS (i figured out you dont have to live in the states to watch it)
Ok if you feel the urge to email me go ahead at my email firstname.lastname@example.org. Just as long as your not a stalker (O.o) or especially creepy. I am not looking for a relationship over the internet thank you and I will not meet random people unless I know you in real life. Which you will have to prove. Im gonna tell you why I picked my email to be krhorsejumper97. First my initials are k.r. (thats all of my name you will probably get), the horsejumper part comes from me riding english style and jumping horses (yes over high fences and yes i love horse my first email was krhorselover97 and yes i love horses if you havent gotten that already) and 97 is my favorite number (IT IS NOT MY BIRTH YEAR I AM NOT 12 THANK YOU and you will probably not get my age out of me)
I love to write poetry and stories. Obviously, thats why I spend a bunch of time on a website for writers no duh.
I am currently single and am not looking for someone though if the right person comes along then Ill go with it. :D
Ok people for Christmas I recieved two Alex Rider books (the gadget one and the one behind the scenes of the movie), a new cool green flash drive, a 25 itunes gift card, tack and stuff for my horse Clarke, a can of silly string (oh the stuff i can do with silly string), poppers (hee hee im gonna scare someone with the loud bangs :p), an Alex Rider game (yes they do have a stormbreaker game and it has K UNIT in it!), and some pj's, and I guess Clarke (my horse for the slower people) can be considered one for the rest of my life :D.
92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abecromie and Finch told it uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing their butts off at the others.
If you care more about world matters and humanity than who is the newest celebrity, copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this in your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile. (poor rabbit)
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile (...)
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (who hasnt wanted to slap someone?!)
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. (I will RULE the World with the help of EVIL plot bunnies)
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (hmmm if they do can i be the one driving?)
-Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (cow, sock, peach, FIRE, other random words. ect.)
-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile (stupid stairs)
-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile (my dad gets mad at me for this all the time)
If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile (hmmmmm hav i?)
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile (no dur i havent died yet)
Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile (so im religous...do you have a PROBLEM with that?!)
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (who hasnt talked to themselves? everyone raises hand sticks tounge out at everyone)
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile
Pluto was declared to be no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for some scientist likings. If you still think pluto should be a planet copy and paste this onto your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
If you think everyone is out of their minds, copy and paste.
Favorite characters from random books, tv shows, movies, ect. in no particular order
1. Ducky (NCIS)
2. Wolf (Alex Rider)
3. Abby (NCIS)
4. Tom (Alex Rider)
5. Eagle (Alex Rider)
6. McGee (NCIS)
7. Fox (Alex Rider)
8. Lauren (CHERUB)
9. Snake (Alex Rider)
10. Jacub (Twilight)
12. Alex (Alex Rider)
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Ummmm no not really.
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Hmmmm thats a good question... Well James and Alex would probably have a fist fight... IDK James might be mad but only maybe...
4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Yes, yes I have. Theres one called Snake by Little Miss Fox.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Heck NO! I dont even want to think about that!
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?
Hmmmm Fox walking in on Wolf and Alex having in an awkward situation... What kind of awkward situation? Because if its the one Im thinking of Fox would probably laugh or smirk.
8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
What happens if Jacub imprints on Abby? A whole lot of trouble thats what. (bad summary I know)
9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
Ummmmm I dont think sooooo.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
YAY I LIKE THIS ONE! I already had to make up a name considering its one of my fics so Understanding Alex (the name of my fic).
11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
Like on a date?! Ewwwww no Im not even gonna go there!
12. Does anyone on your Friends List read Three slash?
No I dont think so goes to check nope.
13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Ummmmm, not that I know of.
14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Well yes, actually, but it had a couple other character but close enough.
15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
IDK, didnt know there were song fics about Lauren.
17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Hmmmmm, maybe a tad of swearing, idk.
18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
NONE! TEN AND TWO WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!
Ha ha, that was fun.
Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much
Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress.
Sorry, but I’m in a rush. I’m going to try to kill one of your friends now, bye!
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid
You're just jealouse because the voices are talking to me
"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
“Who died and made you Wolf?” (Anyone from the AR universe should get this)
My personal motto, ‘If you can’t beat them, join them; if you can’t join them, kill them; if you can’t kill them, blow them all to kingdom come!”
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable
There are two kinds of people: those who categorize people and those who dont care. Can you guess which one I am?
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problem.
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. sizzles
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Normal people make good pets.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Where negotiation and diplomacy fail, high explosives substitute nicely.
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
Random Messages on Answering Machines
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Hi. This is John:
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
Heaven, God speaking...
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
A psychology professor at the University of Miami knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam.
To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.
He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.
Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation.
All, that is, except for one student.
He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.
He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.
The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.
The professor wrote "100" on the top of that student's test.
The student's answer: This is.
(I love this one! This is totally something I would do!)
Mental Hospital Answering Machine
“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.”
Keeping A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
20 Things To Do When You Drive Through A Drive Thru!
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies.
6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ordering just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.
15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.
16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
10 THINGS TO DO IN A SHOPPING MALL!! 2. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed. 3. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard. 4. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.) 5. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts. 6. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them. 7. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof". 8. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish. 9. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 10. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
2. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.
3. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
4. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)
5. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
6. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
7. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
8. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
9. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
10. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
1. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
31 Annoying things to do on an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
25) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
26) Tell people that you can see their aura
27) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
28) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally
29) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment
30) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Then ask for autographs.
31) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on
15 THINGS TO DO AT WALL-MART:
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"