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Joined 11-18-09, id: 2149865, Profile Updated: 02-26-11
Author has written 14 stories for Phineas and Ferb, Chowder, T.U.F.F. Puppy, and My Little Pony.

About Me

First Name: Brendan

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Residence: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA

Hobbies: Gaming, Writing

Console of Choice: Xbox 360

Currently Playing: Halo Reach Multiplayer, Star Wars: TFUII,

Can't Wait to Play: Pokemon Black and White

Favorite TV Shows: Deadliest Catch, The Colbert Report, Mythbusters,

Favorite Sports Team: Philadelphia Flyers

Favorite Cartoons: Disney: Phineas and Ferb Nickelodeon: T.U.F.F. Puppy

Favorite Pairings: Chownini (ChowderxPanini), Phinbella (PhineasxIsabella), Kudley (Dudley PuppyxKitty Katswell)

Favorite Comedians: Brian Regan, Stephen Lynch, Frank Caliendo, Gabriel Iglesias, Jeff Dunham, Dane Cook

Favorite Video Game Quotes

"This is for the record. History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars. If he lives, and we die, his truth becomes written - and ours is lost. Shepherd will be a hero. 'Cause all you need to change the world is one good lie and a river of blood. He's about to complete the greatest trick a liar ever played on history. His truth will be the truth. But only if he lives, and we die." -Captain John Price, Modern Warfare 2


deviantART username: SlayerMan118

XBL GamerTag: SlayerMan118

Stories On Hiatus

Playing Along for Papa: Chowder and Panini's new friendship is put to the test when Panini's dad comes to Marzipan. One problem though, Panini has been telling him that Chowder is actually her boyfriend. Now Chowder has to act the part, or suffer the wrath of Panini's father.

Flarts a-Flutter: A while back, Chowder had given Panini a one day boyfriend pass. It is now Valentine's Day, and she's decided to use it to have him go on a date with her. But when all is said and done, Chowder begins to fall in love with his best friend.

My OC's


-Filone Roquefort (Playing Along for Papa): Panini's father, a peach-colored cabearit. He is a five-time champion weightlifter, is about 5 1/2 feet taller than his daughter, and is very protective of her. He has also been known to lose his temper around anyone who made Panini upset. Name Origin: A classic everyday Italian yeast bread, with a texture and crumb similar to the French baguette.

-Biscotti Roquefort (Flarts a-Flutter): Panini's mom, a powder blue cabearit. She is an accomplished baker and pastry chef, and is happy that her daughter is trying to follow in her footsteps. She is also known for her uncanny ability to calm her husband down. She is about 2 feet shorter than Filone. Name Origin: Twice baked cookies often containing nuts or spices. Popular choices include almonds, pistachios, pine nuts, and hazelnuts.

-Ramen Fasolada (Future Chowder Fic): Chowder's dad, a mint green cabearit. Ramen is currently one of the the ten best chefs in the world, and is the reason for his son's desire to be a chef. Unknown to his son, Ramen is also a former apprentice of a certain chef Mung Daal. He is four feet taller than his son. Name Origin: A Japanese noodle dish that originated in China, and is often served in a fish or meat broth.

-Ribollita Fasolada (Playing Along for Papa): Chowder's mom, a pink cabearit. Ribollita grew up in the quiet of the country before leaving for Marzipan City. It was while she was in Marzipan that she met and fell in love with her husband. She loves her son, and considers him to be the greatest thing that ever happened to her. She is a foot shorter than her husband. Name Origin: a famous Tuscan soup whose name literally means "reboiled". It was originally made by reheating (i.e. reboiling) the leftover minestrone or vegetable soup from the previous day.

-Asiago Danablu (Marzipan's Biggest Mistake): Gorgonzola's father, a yellow rat. He runs a butcher shop in Marzipan that was started by himself and his two brothers fifteen years ago. He has been divorced from his wife Feta for almost eight years and has never once considered getting remarried. Because of Feta's violent nature towards Gorgonzola, he became very close to his son. Name Origin: An Italian cheese that can assume different textures, according to its aging from smooth for the fresh Asiago (Asiago Pressato) to a crumbly texture for the aged cheese (Asiago d'allevo) of which the flavour is reminiscent of Parmesan.

-Feta: Gorgonzola's mother and the ex-wife of Asiago Danablu, a dark red rat. A former Miss Marzipan City contestant, she blamed her son for ruining the future of her modeling career when he was born, and frequently beat him for being the cause of her extra weight. To this day Feta is the only person Gorgonzola truly fears, but is also the driving force behind his desire to succeed as a candle holder. Name Origin: A brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece.

If you could name one video game you thought got bad press, what game would it be and why?: Too Human. Yes the campaign could have been longer and actually had the promised 4 player online co-op. Yes we could have done without the unskippable 20 second death sequence. And Yes, game director Dennis Dyack did hurt any chance for a positive review for this game. But the massive amount of customization you had was amazing to me. Hopefully Too Human 2 won't take ten years to come out.

If you could do something totally out of character and remain anonymous what would you do?: Crank Call someone.

If you could have one superpower what would it be?: Cryokinesis (Ice) has always seemed interesting to me.

If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive who would it be?: Harry Kallas (Sports Broadcaster)

Who do you regret never having met in your life?: Harry Kallas

If you could push a button and blow something up what would it be?: Cement Truck.

If you could be any video game NPC for a day who would you be?: A Big Daddy.

My Favorite Quotes

Red vs. Blue

"Hello? I don't hear any hold music. Please don't transfer me to India!" -Sarge

"Okay, so... um... Tucker's the fighter... ah... Crunchbite is the healer... And I am the powerful, and intelligent, wizard: Morphumax." -Caboose

"Bow Chicka Bow Wow." -Tucker

"Everyone, everyone! Stop fighting! Look unto me. I possess the blue flag! I wield the power infinite. The universal maverick is mine to unravel. My every thought becomes a reality. Mountains will fall, seas will boil. Day will be as night. People will... run. Chicks will dig me. I'll get good grades... I'll get into a good college. Study abroad for a semester. You know, stuff like that. I'll get a job at a tech company... not a too technical job though. STOCK OPTIONS and a 401K! I will drive a foreign car and pay off my credit card bills! I will die with a full head of hair. My friends from high school will envy me... in ways they never imagined!" -Red Zealot

"Great. Tucker's out, Sheila's on the fritz, and now Doc is babysitting. Caboose, if we survive the next five minutes, I'll be fckin' amazed." -Church

"Nope. No matter how things may seem they can't be better and they can't be worse. Because that's the way things fcking are and you had better get used to it nancy so quit your bitching." -Church

"Good question. I seem to be dramatically pausing for some reason." -Capt. Butch Flowers

24 (Jack Bauer)

"Let's get something straight, kid. The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you. Now get in the van."

"I'm done talking with you, you understand me? You've read my file. The first thing I'm going to do is take out your right eye, and then I’m gonna move over and take out your left, and then I’m going to cut you. I'm gonna keep cutting you until you give me the information that I need. Do you understand me? So for the last time, where is the nerve gas?"

"Mr. Logan, I'm not going to torture you. But you are going to tell me what I want to know. Or so help me God... I will kill you. A year and a half ago I was warned that my life was in danger by someone within the government. I was told the only way I could stay alive was to create the illusion that I was dead. I was forced to deceive people that I loved. My only daughter will never forgive me. As I see the depth of your corruption unfold, I have no doubt that you are that source of danger. David Palmer was a great man, and he was a great president. But he was also my friend. He tried to warn me about you, and now he is dead. Other people tried to help me, and they are dead too. So, Mr. Logan, I hope you understand... I have absolutely nothing to lose. You are going to be held accountable for your part of everything that happened today. You are not going to be able to hide behind the presidency. Right here, right now, you are going to face justice! And make no mistake about this - this is personal. And if you think for a second that I am scared to put a bullet in your brain... you don't know me. I am going to ask you one last time. Who are your co-conspirators? You have until the count of three, or I will kill you."

"Get up! (Jack grips Tony's neck and pins him against the wall after he mocks Jack about Teri's death, Kim, and Audrey) Tell me where the device is! (pauses, starts choking Tony.) So help me God I will kill you, and you will stay dead this time."

"Of course I have regrets, Senator. I regret losing my family. My wife was murdered because I was responsible for protecting David Palmer during an assassination attempt. My daughter can't even look at me. Everyday I regret looking into the eyes of men, women and children knowing that any moment their lives might be deemed expendable in an effort to protect the greater good. I regret every decision or mistake that I might have made which resulted in the loss of a single innocent life. But do you know what I regret the most? Is that this world needs people like me."

Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman

Jamie: Can we show a naked snowman on television? This is a family show.

Adam: Maybe we'll put a fig leaf.

Adam: In erudite British accent Here we see the Hyneman in his natural habitat. The Hyneman prefers to live in an extremely clean environment, removing all detritus from its surroundings... at every opportunity.

Adam: The Blowhard 3000—the next evolution in pirate technology!

Adam: Say it with me, "Jamie wants big boom!"

Jamie: These tanks are actually filled with geese...and they're complaining.

Adam: (silence) Was that a joke? Fascinating...

Adam: This is one I've known about for a long time, it's called "Dry ice bomb." Years ago I went to an ice company to pick up some stuff for Jamie, this was like 20 years ago, 15 years ago, and it said: "You can not buy dry ice unless you are 18", and I thought: "Why would that be." so I said "hey, how come you can't buy dry ice unless you are over 18", and the guy goes: (assumes a "surfer dude" voice) "Oh, 'cause you can stick it in a 2-liter bottle and make a huge bomb out of it; it blows up, it'll, like, set car alarms off across the street, it's really cool! (normal voice): and I thought "You're new here aren't you?" Since then I've always wanted to try it.

Adam: It’s a key component on the belt of Nocturnal-Echo-Locating-Flying-Mammal-Man.

Jamie: Batman?

Adam: Yes. Shhh!

Airplane simulator: Don't sink.

Jamie: Why is it telling me not to think?

Airplane simulator: Don't sink.

Adam: It's time for some pillagin', it's time for some robbin', it's time to blow some stuff up.

Random Things

If you are a fan of Chowder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the people of Cartoon Network are being complete idiots for canceling Chowder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you think flamers should get a life, put this in your profile.

You know you've watched too many cartoons when...

You can imitate a character's voice with little effort.

You notice that Isabella (Phineas and Ferb) and Panini (Chowder) really are polar opposites in how they behave around their crushes.

Life Skills I Learned From Video Games

If it's big and muscular, it won't go down easy.

Just because the diving suit weighs 300 pounds doesn't mean it can't plow into you like a train. (Bouncer series Big Daddy. BioShock and BioShock II)

Electricity ALWAYS Stuns.

No matter how much the fanbase complains, the Rocket Launcher will always need to be manually reloaded. (Lost Planet Series)

In the event of Zombie infestation Please grab any Firearms nearby

Chuck Norris

Brett Farve can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Chuck Norris does not play video games, he stares at the screen and wins.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare is based on Chuck Norris' daily routine.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When you see Chuck Norris doing push ups, he's actually pushing the earth out of orbit.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.

Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!

"Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

The Sherman tank was originally called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.

If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.

There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.

Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

9/11 only happened because Jack Bauer was on vacation. He'll never go on vacation again.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Jack Bauer can go more than 24 hours without eating or taking a dump. If you doubt this, there is over 96 hours of video footage to back it up.

Jack Bauer's cell phone never runs out of battery because the cell phone doesn't want to be mistaken for helping the terrorist.

During a particularly intense interrogation session, Jack Bauer actually killed a man with his bare eyes.

Jack Bauer is the only one to not save a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geico. Jack Bauer doesn't trust Australian Geckos, they might be terrorists.

After torturing the silly rabbit, Jack Bauer has successfully become the first adult the have ate Trix.

FOX executives told Jack Bauer there couldn't be any more tortures on the next season of 24. They will be guest starring as the terrorists being tortured by Jack Bauer on the next season of 24.

Jack Bauer only uses a gun to kill terrorist as a courtesy to those who would have to clean up the mess associated with him using his hands.

FACT: After the first season of 24, Kiefer Sutherland literally began living as Jack Bauer. For safety precautions, the FOX network has since isolated him to the set and nobody has told Kiefer, for fear of torture and brutal death, that it is actually a show. Jack Bauer knows this and is fine with it as long as there are plenty of terrorists to kill.

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And Eat it Too reviews
The Canterlot 'Warrior of the Sweet Tooth' pastry eating contest, has been a quinquennial def: every 5 years event in Equestria for the last 400 years; with Princess Celestia, its 78-time defending champion. Pinkie Pie aims to unseat her.
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,218 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Pinkie Pie, Princess Celestia - Complete
A Date and DOOM reviews
Dudley and Kitty are finally going out on their first date. Problem is, DOOM has chosen this night to conduct another scheme, interrupting their outing.
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,676 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/13/2011 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Dudley P., Kitty K.
Avenger reviews
Jack has escaped from prison and brutally assaulted Dudley for imprisoning him. With her partner out of action, Kitty must re-apprehend TUFF's former top agent alone.
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,326 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/7/2011 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Kitty K., Dudley P. - Complete
Number Two reviews
After completing her 725th mission Kitty is offered the job of Deputy Chief at TUFF D.C. Accepting would bring her one step closer to being able to become a branch chief in the future. But what about her colleagues at the Petropolis branch?
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,878 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/23/2011 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Kitty K. - Complete
Nifty 15: TUFF Edition reviews
15 little stories about the Characters of T.U.F.F. Puppy. Chapter 3: Keswick.
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,766 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/23/2011 - Published: 1/14/2011
Rookie reviews
Kitty Katswell was the T.U.F.F. Academy's best recruit in two decades, however even the best are still subject to procedure. Set three years prior to Episode 1.
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Kitty K. - Complete
Lone Pup reviews
Dudley's training at T.U.F.F. is almost complete. He must complete his first solo mission to finish his training.
T.U.F.F. Puppy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Dudley P. - Complete
Nifty Fifteen reviews
A set of fifteen short stories into certain characters. Chapter 4: Ferb.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,129 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 8/21/2010
Flarts aFlutter reviews
After a Valentine's Day date with Panini, Chowder ends up falling in love with her. But what does this mean for Ceviche when he finds out?
Chowder - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,228 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/22/2010 - Published: 2/1/2010
Marzipan's Biggest Mistake reviews
At two years old, those were the last words she ever said to him. Now lying alone in a hospital bed, Gorgonzola thinks about that woman he knew as mom.
Chowder - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/29/2010 - Published: 1/28/2010
Pop Goes Panini reviews
Chowder and Ceviche learn of Panini's long hidden fear of balloons, and try to help her overcome it. But when Gorgonzola finds out about her case of Globophobia, he does everything he can to hamper their efforts.
Chowder - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,622 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 12/26/2009 - Complete
Playing Along for Papa reviews
Chowder and Panini's new friendship is put to the test when Panini's Dad comes to Marzipan. One problem though, Panini has been telling him that Chowder is actually her boyfriend. Now Chowder has to act the part, or suffer the wrath of her dad.
Chowder - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,668 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010
I'm Not Your Girlfriend! reviews
Chowder discovers that Panini has been sneaking into his room to watch him sleep every Friday for several months. Fed up with her constant obsessing over him, Chowder decides to give her a taste of her own medicine through reverse psychology.
Chowder - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,089 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Complete
Merry Christmas Phineas and Ferb reviews
It's Christmas Eve and Isabella wants to get Phineas under the mistletoe. But when the truth leaves him more confused than ever, a photo reminds him of how the two met to begin with. Lots of PxI, FxG halfway through. Some OOC.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,814 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Complete