Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
Hey! yeah obviously you can tell my name is Abby. yeah so hi everyone!
movies i luv: clueless, 10 things i hate about you, spaceballs, the simpsons movie, new moon (i so luv it...) twilight
tv shows i luv: vampire diaries (damon!!) the simpsons, glee, 10 things i hate about you, did i say GLEE?
books i luv: the mediator series, 1-800-where-r-you, the hunger games, airhead series, anything by meg cabot (i say this cuz i dont wanna list the ones i luv!) and the twilight series of course.
and... yeah, thats basically me. and at the beginning on my chapters i will have a life rant. i will talk about stuff like i dunno stufff. now, some random stuff
wait! 1 more thing... I AM TEAM EMMET!! AND TEAM DAMON!! but he's from the vampire diaries and team... JESSIE ST JAMES!!
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you are one of those people who sees two reviews and gets excited, post this.
If you've reread Twilight more than 4 times, copy into you profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile.
If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (Gets really aggravating after a while...)
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.
If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (and other things like invisible rocks, thin air...)
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
IF YOU THROW A FIT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE TWILIGHT CHARACTERS AREN'T REAL COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU HAVE EVER TRIPPED OVER AIR AND EXPECTED EDWARD TO CATCH YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A EDWARD CULLEN OUT THERE FOR YOU COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU ARE ADDICTED TO VAMPIRES AND WANT TO BE ONE COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY EVEN MORE COPY THIS ONTO YOUR
If you've ever fallen asleep at 2 am while reading Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse copy this onto your profile
If you haven't died yet copy this onto your profile
If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile
If you have a true friend copy this onto your profile
If when you hear thunder you think it's vampires playing baseball copy this onto your profile
IF you've even fallen UP stairs, copy this onto your profile
98 percent of the teenage population does OR has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who HASN'T, copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would DIE if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't COOL to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the percent laughing your butt off.
If you HATE those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing FIT for absolutely NO reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you TALK BACK to the TV, copy this into your profile
IF the small dreary town of FORKS is on your 'must visit' list, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read Twilight fan-fics all day to soothe the acheing pain that MIDNIGHT SUN might not come out for a while, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have siblings that drive you CRAZY then copy this onto your profile.
If you have a LONG profile like this, make it longer BY copying this onto your profile.
95 percent of teenage girls would be crying if that Jonas Brothers were about to throw themselves off the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, if you are one of the 5 percent WHO would be yelling 'JUMP ASSHOLES' copy this onto your profile. (Sorry Jonas Brother fans.)
If you REALIZE that PIE will take over the WORLD someday, copy this onto your profile.
If you REALIZED that EVERY sentence on this list had at least TWO or more words except one, copy this onto your profile.
IF you are laughing at yourself NOW, copy this onto your profile.
You know you live in 2010 when...
1. You accidently put your password into your microwave
2. You haven’t played Solitare with real cards in years
3. The reason for not staying in touch with friends is b/c they don’t have a myspace or screen name
4. You’ld rather look all over the house for the remote instead of using the buttons on the T.V
6. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job
7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling
8. As you read this list and are thinking about sending it to all your friends
9. You were to busy to notice the number 5
10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5
11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly
12. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you fell for this and you know you did
FRIENDS: ask for food when they want it
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DANG!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds arse that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call
FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!!
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~
16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.
7. Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER!
16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
have you ever had one of those days
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
and i'm the kind of girl that lies awake at night
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your
dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."
"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."
"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"
You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
He who laughs last didn't get it
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter
"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"
When she walks away from you mad
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not re-post this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Re-post or you are going to die
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, (I actually cried reading this, which is really hard for me)
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices, (I actually cried reading this, which is really hard for me)
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
My Guy side:
(if it has X after its true)
You love hoodies. X
.You like going to high school football games.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
You own like a trillion baseball caps
My GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.x
Used to play with dolls as little kid.X
TOTAL: 20 (wow.)
You got to list your favorite Twilight characters and then answer the questions...but no peeking until they've all been listed
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
umm... emily/edward? no, and i dont think i ever will...
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
nessie? 1, shes a girl, 2, hello, shes part vampire!
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
i dont think bella could get claire pregnant...
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
not really... most people dont like rosalie
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
not at all. no way, alice and emily?
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
seth/rosalie, seth/mike? hahahahahahaha!!
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
angela would freak out because alice and bella r both married, then shed faint. that would be sick.
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.
jacob/mike- the fight to have bella
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
emmet and claire? shes 3, for gods sake!
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
bella/angela- ways to get over the guy you thought was the one
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
um... claire, de-flowering emmet? im sorry i dont think thats possible. emmet surely lost his flower over 40 years ago.
12) Know of anyone who reads Three het?
14) Would anyone of your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?
alice/nessie/seth? dont think so
15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?
NO! THATS MINE! i dunno...
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Two and eleven, what song would you choose?
alice/edward? i dont think there is one.
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
emmet/emily/bella- language. nothing else
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
mike to use on alice... hmmmm... yeah. not
19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?
edward- they've never met before, that i know of.
20) How emo is Seven?
angela? emo? dont make me laugh.
21) Write a Sexy Eleven/One title
emmet/edward? what? id rather not.
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
Soap Opera Name (middle name and current street name): Esther Page
Super-Hero Name (favorite color and favorite drink):Purple Grape
Star Wars Name (first three letters of last name, first three letters of first name): Hirabi
Arabic Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name):Braedw
Goth Name (black and the name of one of your pets):black cookie (hahahahahahahaha!!)
Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): Sarah
Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s mom, father’s mom): alison jessica (nice and pretty!)
Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Abin
Gangsta Name (first 3 letters of first name plus izzle):Abizzle
Detective Name (favorite color and favorite animal): purple puppy (oh man thats sad)
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies!!!!!!!!
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD
-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time like ME, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
Random quotes from me and friends:
(Sees a big cross next to flag pole. Long story.) "I'm not a christian, man! That's not the way I roll." -Me
"One day I will say to my grandkids, 'When I was your age, Pluto was still a planet.'" -Julia
(After watching Glee a million times...)
"Hey, Abigail, did you know chipmunks are just gay squirrels?" -Miriam
"Why yes I did! Did you know lizards are just gay dinosaurs?" -Me
"Oh really? Well, hands are just gay feet!" -Jane
"Gasp! My hands are gay? I can't believe it! Really, hands!" -Me
"Calm down, Abigail. Think of it this way-- if Britany said it, it can't be true." -Clara
"Phew! For a second there, I thought my hands were going Kurt-style." -Me
Um, just to be clear, me and my friends are huge Glee fans, so each of us has a Glee name. That was a funny conversation...
"Hm... Do you guys think that I should go to the library tomorrow, look for Jessie, and sing and play the piano in the middle of it?" -Me
"You should...But your not Rachel, so your voice is not as beautiful." -Clara
"But if I was Rachel...Oooh!!!!! Oooh! Good idea time!" -Me
"What is it, Abigail?" -Jane
"From now on, we will all be people on Glee. I will be Rachel, since I am such a diva and I- ahem- sing the best. Jane, your Britany, cause you can do the dumb blonde act well. Julia, your a smart girl, how about Tina? Clara, I assign you Mercedes, cause you've got FUNK! Hehe. Miriam, you can be Quinn, your the most likely to get pregnant in high school." -Me
"Oh shut up, you know I'm secretly Alice Cullen. Oh, I'm having a vision! I see you...With a baby. Awww, how cute." -Me
"Shut the hell up, someone could hear you!" -Miriam
"Eh, eh, eh, gotta face the truth, babe." -Me
"My name is Tally Youngblood Brown Chicken... Make me ugly." -Me
"So, Clara, when did you first realize you had a fetish for gummy worms?" -Julia, MD (But not really.)
"I broke a hamster last weekend..." -Me
"You MURDERED it?" -Jane
"No, I'm not that mean. I 'slapped it's ass,' as Sammi put it. Anyway, I was performing with my guinea pig orchestra-"
"I thought it was a hamster!" -Clara
"Guinea pig, hamster, they're both small rodents, what's the difference? Anyway, now anytime you touch the small rodent, it squeaks! And that's how I broke Sammi's hamster. Oooh, and then her sister small rodent peed on me. I hate you Dusty!" -Me
"If it purrs, slap it's ass." -Sammi
"Okay, let me practice my sincereness... So, Daniel, do you like -pshaw- Miriam? Mwhahahahahaha!" -Me, being completely random
"Just lightly let her know you're not friends... Like this... GET OUT OF MY FACE! WE'RE NOT FRIENDS, WE NEVER WILL BE! CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT? But maybe a little less volume, more power. Hmm..." -Me
Links from A Perfect Mistake:
Bella's Engagement Ring:
When you click on this, it will screw up your window. Don't worry, just make it bigger again.
Bella Workout Outfit:
Alice Workout Outfit:
Rose Workout Outfit:
Tanya Workout Outfit:
A Similar Mistake:
Kiwi: (This is the girl who's supposedly playing renesmee in the movie)
And that's all for now!
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