badjujube
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-22-09, id: 2153695, Profile Updated: 07-06-15
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight.

I like baseball and candy and jazz and taking a really long time to update stuff.

Creepy ships are my fave.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Absinthe by Aurette reviews
A dark deed on a dark night sends two lives spinning out of control. To forge a future, both must confront their pasts. AU, EWE, SS/HG, HEA
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 38,292 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 5/8/2015 - Published: 5/7/2015 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Scourge of Housecats Everywhere by Volturi Secretarial Services reviews
Bella had given up on becoming a vampire. Once she was, she certainly didn't expect her help to come from Aro Volturi. Aro/Bella, Post New Moon AU long-ish one-shot, written in snapshots.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,182 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 60 - Published: 12/6/2014 - Aro, Bella - Complete
Sunlight by KissKissCrush reviews
A year after graduating from Forks High School, Bella Swan is living a dull life as a waitress in a coffee shop. When an unusual stranger suddenly appears in town and begins frequenting her work she finds herself immediately drawn to him but it isn't until he starts to charmingly establish himself as an irreplaceable figure in her life that she discovers he's not quite human. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 113,432 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 637 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 11/2/2014 - Published: 2/14/2013 - [Aro, Bella] - Complete
Super-Massive Black Hole by Loquitur reviews
"In the deep darkness of space, there was silence." Amid the raging battle of starships and politics, there is one thing held constant: gravity. It pulls things together, and it pulls them apart. Space Opera AU; Blackwater AU
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,757 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 10/10/2014 - Published: 2/12/2013 - Sansa S., Sandor C., Stranger
Volturi Reflections by Fictionstv reviews
Aro tells the story of Twilight and New Moon to Marcus and Caius. The two Volturi question and comment on Aro's story in disbelief and horror.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,080 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 5/29/2014 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Aro, Bella, Caius, Marcus
Alone Together by KissKissCrush reviews
The second installment of my After the Battle series. They are all stand alone fics which explore the lives of different characters as though the battle at the end of BD2 had occurred leaving only a few people alive. This one is a one-shot with Carlisle and Bella as the survivors.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,515 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/16/2014 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
The Triangle by LadyTP reviews
Sandor, Jaime and Sansa ride together from the Vale to Winterfell. The bond between the three of them grows and grows in unexpected ways as the past is shed and new life embraced. The vital question is: Can the Wolf, the Hound and the Lion ever learn to share?
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 199,764 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 12/14/2013 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
As You Wish by KissKissCrush reviews
Alice's vision of a battle when the Volturi come to Forks to destroy Renesmee actually happens, leaving everyone dead except Aro and Bella. With the world they knew suddenly gone and no valid reasons left to be enemies, they embark on a bizarre adventure together which is part horror movie and part dark romantic comedy. [The first installment of the After the Battle series.]
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 67,184 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Aro, Bella - Complete
All The Things She Never Said (and those she did) by weshallflyaway reviews
She rides behind him on his big, badly tempered horse and wonders whether she made the right decision or not. (Sansa/Sandor). Part One of Mother, If You Could See Me Now.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,276 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 31 - Published: 3/28/2013 - [Sandor C., Sansa S.] - Complete
The Black Gates of Paradise by Maiafay reviews
Blind faith doesn't always lead to the light. Love doesn't always choose the ideal companion. Human and Synthetic. She journeys for answers; he searches for purpose and the elusive existence of his soul. Desire binds them, darkness will test them, but fate could tear them apart. Hiatus until Covenant.
Prometheus, 2012 - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,973 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 2/16/2013 - Published: 6/23/2012 - E. Shaw, David, Engineer
Avalanche by The Moonmoth reviews
Five times Sandor Clegane listened to his better instincts, and one time he didn't.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35,268 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/19/2012 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
30 days by the-shiny-girl reviews
Snape and Hermione are captured. Observe their relationship in 30 days as they are locked together in a dungeon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 103,671 - Reviews: 1831 - Favs: 903 - Follows: 600 - Updated: 9/16/2012 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Swear Not By the Moon by hmonster4 reviews
For every action there is an equal and equal & opposite reaction. His goodbye was meant to protect her, not bring about her destruction. Twilight AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,976 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 48 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Darkrooms and Safe Light by sleepyvalentina reviews
A vampire who has been dead for decades meets a young woman who hasn't yet begun to live. They could bring each other to life...if he doesn't kill her first. A FGB piece for Katinki.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 31,615 - Reviews: 1948 - Favs: 975 - Follows: 1,207 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Edward, Bella
Unbreakable by kalabangsilver reviews
With her family gone and no friends left at court, the little bird has no one to turn to for help. Set 2-3 years in the future, AU from CoK onwards. Sansa/Sandor.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,822 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
Soldier X by Gleena reviews
Major Isabella Swan, army psychologist, is swiftly climbing the ladder of success when a confidential letter and a clandestine meeting change everything. Her newest patient proves to be the most challenging question in her new life. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 68,809 - Reviews: 478 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 295 - Updated: 6/2/2012 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
They'll Never Let You Walk Away by Lunatic Silver reviews
Modern day AU. Sandor Clegane was content in the Lannister underworld - until Sansa Stark came along.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,273 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 3/29/2012 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Sandor C., Sansa S. - Complete
Sins of the Piano Man by solareclipses reviews
AU. A reclusive vampire's swan songs for the victims he regrets draw in a young woman struggling with her father's illness. As fate brings them together, Edward's dark past threatens to tear them apart. ExB. Won 'Best Overall' 2011 Vampie Award.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 258,615 - Reviews: 3290 - Favs: 2,103 - Follows: 1,613 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Music Of The Night by theladyingrey42 reviews
He seeks atonement through music. She seeks solace in an unseen world behind the curtains of a stage. What they end up finding is each other. Written for JAustenLover and Durameter for FGB:Eclipse. AU / BxE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,201 - Reviews: 1276 - Favs: 858 - Follows: 480 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Fools by Tandy reviews
Future Fic. Sansan. A simple love story. Two-shot.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,676 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 6/7/2011 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
Cauchemar Vivant by Lunar Siren reviews
Vampires have taken over Seattle, their reign of terror reaching far and wide. Bella Swan was taught all her life never to trust a vampire. What happens when her greatest chance of taking back Washington is found in a vampire? AU ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 136,929 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 3/24/2011 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Bella
The Gilded Hour by LJ Summers reviews
Written for FACELESS GIRL for the Sparkling Citrus Secret Santa Gift Exchange. High-profile matchmaking can get complicated when you're a vampire. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,065 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/16/2011 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Afraid of the Dark by nowforruin reviews
Edward Cullen is Dr. Bella Swan's new patient. Despite being 107, he's still afraid of the dark. Can he be cured? Or will he be doomed to an eternity of sparkling balls? A comedic tale of getting over your fears.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,337 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 24 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Eric Yorkie, The Van Helsing of Forks by duskwatcher2153 reviews
"My name is Eric Yorkie and I possess knowledge that will change the world as we know it: Edward Cullen is a VAMPIRE!" This is Eric's POV of the events of Book 1 and remarkably, it stays within canon. A humorous look at Twilight from the eyes of Forks' most lovable geek.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 42,433 - Reviews: 533 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Eric, Rosalie - Complete
Dark alleys and other love stories by Incognito Burrito reviews
Vampire Edward meets human Bella when she is being attacked in a dark alley. Things get ugly and Edward is forced to take her to his house to save her.Not all great love stories start once upon a time and far far away; Some begin down dark alleys.A/U ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 51,787 - Reviews: 1357 - Favs: 1,244 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 11/30/2010 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Glitch by quothme reviews
Maybe there really is a glitch in Bella's brain. After all, she knows he's out there. She knows he's been watching her ever since she can remember. She's *not* crazy. Why won't anyone believe her? Dark humor a la Face Punch.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 67,750 - Reviews: 2461 - Favs: 1,914 - Follows: 1,189 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 4/18/2010 - Bella - Complete
Multiverse by GeorgeGlass reviews
The wolves were distracted from rescuing Bella from Laurent, and Edward lost her forever. The Cullens have created a solution that will send Edward on an incredible journey through the multiverse searching for his lost love.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 46 - Words: 186,423 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 10/29/2010 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Commission by SpikeIsHotter reviews
*On Hiatus, see profile* Edward is a solitary vampire who is tired of hunting humans, but needs human blood. After Bella's sister Alice is murdered, she can't find peace while the killers walk free. She needs a hitman, and he needs someone to kill for.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 63,394 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 10/15/2010 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
3 Times He Told Bella, & the 1 Time She Believed by Pastiche Pen reviews
Edward infiltrates Bella's vampire club. He tells her THE TRUTH-but she doesn't believe him. Silly, silly girl. Vamp. Pr0ny humor. Very pr0ny. Written for the Twi Kink Meme.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,051 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 104 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Daedalus in Exile by EZRocksAngel reviews
After leaving Forks, Edward follows a path of weakness and isolation while eventually seeking redemption from the only person who can absolve him. Alternate Universe, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 86,525 - Reviews: 4779 - Favs: 2,405 - Follows: 1,344 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 9/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cowboys Have Fangs, Too by Pastiche Pen reviews
When you’re a Cullen, you’re supposed to be a nice vampire. You’re not supposed to want to kill librarians—or drink the drill team—or have a map of scars. And you're certainly not supposed to want to exsanguinate Edward's human. Aw, hell. Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,966 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Jasper - Complete
Sensitivity to Initial Conditions by giselle-lx reviews
Sensitivity to Initial Conditions-chaos theory : "An arbitrarily small perturbation of the current trajectory may lead to significantly different future behavior." Pre-Twilight AU. NO canon pairings. One-shot
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,692 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Complete
Type O Negative by quothme reviews
When the Cullens move to Forks, Bella thinks that the creepy new kid, Edward, has freaky yellow eyes. And that he's insufferably rude. Good thing he's in love with someone else. An AU dark comedy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,164 - Reviews: 1324 - Favs: 1,783 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Caterpillar Wine by gallantcorkscrews reviews
How the canon characters could change and remain the same if they lived for very long time. Not set in some unrecognizable future—this time period looks exactly like the present. The core is ExB w/ a slew of non-canon pairs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,175 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Salome by Nell Vance reviews
With his venom in her veins, she was fluid. Liquid night, with ice stars for her eyes and a gossamer galaxy for flesh.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Bella, Aro - Complete
The Gilded Cage by ApollinaV reviews
Clever Miss Hermione Granger believes that by marrying Azkaban prisoner 11652 she can effectively skirt the new Ministry Marriage Law requirements. A story about morality, mortality, and pickled walnuts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 62 - Words: 203,885 - Reviews: 3520 - Favs: 2,699 - Follows: 941 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary by Oxymoronic8 reviews
ON HIATUS. Bella spent the first two years of her life in Forks slowly falling for Jacob. As her senior year begins, a new family moves to town and she begins to question the difference between what she thought she needed & what she never knew she wanted.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 177,984 - Reviews: 5642 - Favs: 5,180 - Follows: 4,554 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Traveller by Somigliana reviews
Hermione has deviated from an obvious life. She has moved down a challenging and divergent, but ultimately lonely, path. She meets Severus Snape by chance one day, and she has some difficult choices to make.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,647 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 488 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Plan B by ApollinaV reviews
She was given a book, a tent, and a half-cocked plan to save the entire Wizarding world, but Hermione Granger had other ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,857 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Good as Gold by Camillo reviews
Hermione Granger's recently retired parents plunge headlong into village life and decide to drag her along for the ride. There are a number of unexpected consequences. SS/HG, DH compliant but epilogue ignored.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,921 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/26/2008 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Nine Year etc Plan by mia madwyn reviews
Snape didn’t die and is headmaster at Hogwarts. Hermione has split from Ron who can keep any kids if there are any and she is teaching at Hogwarts. Snape has no qualms about exploiting his position as the boss to get what he wants – Hermione. Humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,393 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 25 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Prisoner by Drusillas Little Boot reviews
Then they'd handed me over to Bellatrix Lestrange, who'd then given me to Snape. I'd thought it a blessing at the time. I thought we were almost friends everything you ever said to me was a lie. ...What if the Dark Lord won? HGSS, not HBP compliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,325 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 597 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 1/20/2006 - Published: 12/19/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Call It What You Will by polywolly reviews
Snape has settled awkwardly into a new life, and a new profession. When a healer asks him to assist her in a hopeless case, Snape is attracted to the challenge, not to mention the woman doing the asking. Post book 6 HGSS COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 69,394 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 1/14/2006 - Published: 10/10/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Last Word by Kalina Lea reviews
Hermione is tasked with bringing Muggle computers to the Ministry, and an e-mail glitch leads to a mysterious correspondence. Who will have the last word? *COMPLETE*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,445 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/3/2002 - Published: 9/28/2002 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Drinking Problems reviews
"How can you teach a vampire to abstain from humans?" I asked Carlisle. "Starve them and take them to the zoo?" He shook his head at me and smiled. "Rehab," he said. Rehab for vampires. It was the worst idea I'd ever heard.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 36,558 - Reviews: 955 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 593 - Updated: 1/5/2016 - Published: 3/18/2013 - Edward, Bella
The Agreement reviews
Eclipse AU. Bella/Aro. Super creepy. Is that a genre? Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,803 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 5/10/2014 - Published: 3/10/2014 - Aro, Bella - Complete
Hardcover Paranormal Romance reviews
Edward has an issue with Bella Swan that can't be found in the employee handbook. AU, goofy. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 41,720 - Reviews: 2042 - Favs: 1,254 - Follows: 1,210 - Updated: 11/12/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Red Eye reviews
It's important for any private investigator to maintain a good relationship with local law enforcement and it's representatives. Therefore, I am always cooperative and polite with Chief Swan. Also, I try not to drink his daughter Bella's blood. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 90,545 - Reviews: 3905 - Favs: 2,099 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Howl reviews
Bella abandons her maker and takes a journey through the dark underbelly of the 20th century, surfacing just long enough to betray the Cullen's secret and endanger their safety. Or did she? AU, dark themes. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 45,525 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 9/1/2011 - Published: 1/14/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Persephone reviews
Evil vampire overlords deserve love too, right? A chthonic love story in four parts. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,287 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete