ThatGirlWhoPlaysCoD
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Joined 11-24-09, id: 2156595, Profile Updated: 11-26-10
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie’s sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me that they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Cracked! by nosleep3 reviews
If Twilight sort of didn't make sense to you before, it really won't make sense to you now. A recharacterization of Bella and a satire of all the things that made you go, "Wait, what?" Dark humor, drama, and snark.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 114,348 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 1/15/2013 - Published: 6/11/2010
Beautifully Sacred by Ailisraevyn reviews
Broken after Edward left, Bella turns to pen and knife for release until a nomad leads her to new possibilities. Edward deals with his self-inflicted torment through music. But the tides of sorrow are strong, and they must both accept fate, or drown.Canon
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 234,975 - Reviews: 942 - Favs: 468 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hit By Destiny by ocdmess reviews
Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 59 - Words: 463,685 - Reviews: 19920 - Favs: 11,229 - Follows: 6,804 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stigmata Tomato by BellaFlan reviews
Alert the Darwin Awards! Bella Swan, depressed and demented, nearly dies trying to kill herself & is shipped to Forks WA. Watch her update her facebook status and fall in love. WARNING: MA, very dark comedy. OOC w/ nod to canon , E/B some Jake , AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 41 - Words: 102,923 - Reviews: 3230 - Favs: 1,409 - Follows: 1,212 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Waking Up by RiaMaria reviews
Set in the summer after Twilight, 2 weeks before the beginning of senior year, Bella wakes up one Saturday morning to find a sleeping, HUMAN Edward beside her. BxE AU. Romance/Humour/Drama - ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 301,954 - Reviews: 2103 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,320 - Updated: 3/27/2011 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Edward, Bella
New Beginning by don'teatmycookie reviews
Bella uses Edward's laptop to start a journal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 128,459 - Reviews: 1698 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 874 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 1/31/2008
Intertwined by angelanharvey3 reviews
SEQUEL to Personality! Edward is adjusting to life back with Bella & has become very attached to his mate's alternates, 17yr old Marie & 5yr old Isabella. But what happens when two more get thrown into the mix? How will he cope then? AU/OOC/DARK/SPANKS :::TEMP HIATUS:::
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 53,000 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
Idee Fixe by DizzyUpTheGirls reviews
If he didn't count, if everything didn't add up, something terrible would happen. Edward knew that. He knew that his sister would have a terrible accident, or the basement would suddenly flood, or his dog would run away. A short story about OCD.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,655 - Reviews: 410 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 418 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Edward, Bella
Bad Fauxmance by stella luna sky reviews
Typical formula: boy meets girl. Boy befriends girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl has no idea. Boy is afraid to tell her, because Boy - me, Edward Cullen - has been pretending to be gay to keep Girl's man-hating self in his life. AH/M. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 40,411 - Reviews: 4126 - Favs: 3,410 - Follows: 2,390 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Complete
In Need Of Comfort by DirtyVamp reviews
An upset Bella goes over to the Rez to speak to Jake to find he's not home and ends up getting comforted by Billy. BillyxBella Adult themes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,988 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Billy, Bella
Vampire Goddess by eglantine16 reviews
A heartbroken Bella suffers a type of amnesia after the cliff-diving incident. But instead of erasing her memories, her illness brings to light a power she never knew she possessed. On hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 15 - Words: 56,152 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Mine Alone by WinndSinger reviews
A vampire's love is forever. But what if Bella chose to be with Jacob instead of Edward after Eclipse? Edward slowly loses his mind after losing Bella and will do anything to keep her. This has some Darkward in it and the story will get dark at times.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 119,031 - Reviews: 1600 - Favs: 812 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
What Daddy Doesn't Know by jasperjr630 reviews
How does Bella spend her time when Charlie thinks she's out with her friends? bella/billy one-shot lemon turned into a small prequel story. don't like don't read.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,810 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Bella, Billy
Neon Moon by nosleep3 reviews
New Moon A/U. Abandoned by the Cullens, Bella emerges from depression with a wall around her heart and a chip on her shoulder. Closed off and immersed in her college studies, she finds her emotional outlet in a surprising source.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 119,040 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 5/28/2010 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Bella - Complete
Personality by angelanharvey3 reviews
Bella starts to display odd behavior her first weekend back in Forks since the trip to Italy. What will happen when the Cullens learn about her fractured mind? There's not just one Bella for Edward to worry about now...there's three. AU/OOC/DARK/SPANKS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 51 - Words: 407,451 - Reviews: 1002 - Favs: 625 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Incestuous Debauch by Allegra.Jane.Alec reviews
The Cullen's have a very open and incestuous sex life. When they move to forks they find a potential new member for the family's most enjoyable practices. Would Bella ever join? Rated M for Sex, Lesbianism, Homosexuality and of course Incest./AH and OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,410 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 9/15/2008
Cherry Pie by Untamed Loner reviews
It's been going on for three years. She brings the pie, but he's her dessert.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,947 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 47 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Bella, Billy - Complete
Alice Replies by jennyhr reviews
Alice gets all of the e-mails that Bella sent her and decides to secretly replies to them. Will that stop Bella's pain, or will it make it worse. Plus, will Edward find out what alice is doing?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,001 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/15/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Alice, Bella
Dear Alice, Help Me by MyImmortalMajor reviews
What if Alice did see the emails Bella sent her. What would be her reaction? What about the rest of the Cullens? T for language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 14,959 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Alice, Bella
Mind Over Matter by SubtlePen reviews
Set in the 6 week 'blank period' at the end of Eclipse/beginning of Breaking Dawn, between the newborn battle, and the wedding. Bella and Edward expand and deepen their physical relationship in preparation for their impending marriage. AU, CITRUS!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 73,980 - Reviews: 731 - Favs: 657 - Follows: 279 - Updated: 2/19/2010 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bound to Happen by AlternativePunk reviews
WINNER of The Kid Contest: A series of sweet snapshots detailing Edward and Bella’s journey through childhood as they try to find themselves in the mess that was their town - and, ultimately, how they fell in love.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,024 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward Was Here by deeemonayy reviews
Thirteen is way to young to die and way too young to lose your best friend to cancer. Edward's last wish goes against Bella's nature. Her world is rocked when his ends. Now she faces the scariest challenge, without her best friend.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,526 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Diary by NotYourBestFriend reviews
One Shot. Bella Swan recorded every day of her life from the time she was six years old in a diary. See her adventures with her bestest friend Edward and their sticky little crew. Entry for The Kid Contest.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,094 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hijacked: Flight 93 by call me your partner in crime reviews
Bella Swan was on the fourth hijacked airplane in 9/11--aircraft 93. After the plane was taken over, she called the Cullens and spent her last minutes with them... Only she survived. Takes place in New Moon. Rated T because of violence and tragedy. 1-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,065 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 32 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
Fate Worse Than Death by nosleep3 reviews
New Moon AU, E/B. After Edward leaves her, Bella's haze and her danger magnet lead her down a path of abandonment, insanity, and the very edge of death. How do the pieces of her life fit back together again? Full summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 116,935 - Reviews: 923 - Favs: 882 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 8/22/2009 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Equilibrium by Callay1981 reviews
Takes place after NM, E and B are preparing for college, when Alice starts having visions of E becoming human. However,when this happens, B finds herself in a situation in which she has to protect him.Will their relationship finally reach Equilibrium?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 189,953 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Be Safe by Cocoa987 reviews
Two little words. Two little words that came to mean so much to the entire story. Be Safe. What happened to the note? Where was it during New Moon, when he was gone? Where was it during the fight in Eclipse? What about Breaking Dawn....?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,658 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cheat Code by A Fire in the Attic reviews
“Don’t you know?” she asked. “There’s a cheat code to everything.” She spun the final row on the Rubik’s cube. Complete. “Games, love...life.” Suicide Warning xXAdapted from my OriginalXx
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,710 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Your Superman by wontgrowsup32 reviews
Post Eclipse one shot from EPOV. Edward's thoughts and insecurities as he watches Bella sleep. Before the wedding. i own nothing so dont sue me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,250 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
My Name Is Gladiator by zeldaisthebest reviews
Maximus reveals himself to the Emperor Commodus in the gladiator ring.
Gladiator - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/25/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Where Did You Go? reviews
This story is no longer posted. It will be re-uploaded sometime in the near future potentially.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
Unknown Secrets reviews
This story will be deleted in the next few days, and re-uploaded in the near future.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Bella, Edward
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