37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time” When someone walks in.
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.
If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!
Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I get a parachute, and save your retarded ass.
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters
"Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!"
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.
If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Don’t mess with me- I've got a stick
A good friend helps you when you fall. A true friend laughs and trips you again.
Under construction. Check back later if you really feel you want to. Going to be adding a list of "favorite favorites" because I know my list is a pain to get through.