detective2L
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Joined 11-25-09, id: 2157330, Profile Updated: 08-03-11

Welcome curious writers and readers to my profile page. Its nice to meet you all. You may refer to me as L. While on this site i will not be posting story's but special reviews of storys people put forth for myself to review. I have high expectations for all writers and its my goal to become known as a master reviewer here on this site. I wish you all luck and happy writing!

News: Wow its been a while, I havent been on this site for a good 2 years and i wonder should i continue what i started here, Recomendations anyone?

Scale for Crossover Story's

5 - Perfect Story

4 - Well written

3 - Moderate

2 - Could be Better

1 - Beginner at Writing Crossovers

Scale for Normal Story's

S - Perfect Story

A - Awesome Story

B - Better than Average

C - Could be Better

D - Do try Harder

Game Shows, Contests, or Comedy Games

80-100 - I Cant Wait to Read More

50-79 - Very Enjoyable

30-49 - It is Enjoyable

1-29 - I Know You Can do Beter

Next story to review: The Mainland : Swirlhearty23

Im back in business hey everyone if your reading my reviews weather their yours or not shoot me some comments about how you like or dislike them thanks!

-L


Akira no Kitsune

Memory Blank

Your opinion on this not being good enough to be a story is where your mind and mine part paths Akira. I believe there is a lot of possibility here. Having two separate minds Kenshin himself and the Battousai would be such a plot twist and a plot starter. Imagine if the Battousai Conciseness is like that of the nine tails a Demon that can be extracted by means of a very harsh method. Kenshin himself knows the power of the Battousai so he protects him so he will not dominate another and become a mindless killing machine. But this is just an idea it’s your choice what happens and whether you write or not.

-L

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Arickamaru

Future Beginnings

I read this story and as of now it is not bad your friend’s story has much more power while this one contains more serenity. I do hope to see where you take this story because it seems very well written. My rating is an A and I hope you make it much more exciting than you have so far. Good Luck, don’t disappoint.

-L

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Rito’s Power

All I have to say with this story is Whoa. I did not expect anything that you have written here. I have read the original to-Love-ru story and turning Rito into what you did was just amazing I wouldn’t have expected anything you have written here the strength of you writing is astronomical and amazing to say the least. My rating stands at an A for now. I hope to read your future chapters and learn much more. Don’t disappoint.

-L

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Johnny’s True Nature

This Story seems to be very well written however you are leaving to much vague information. I as a writer myself do understand the need to leave something unknown for the readers to look forward to but I also know that to much missing information will cause the readers to give up trying to understand the story and ultimately stop reading it. As well as in the second chapter of the story an eighth being appears after stating their were only seven so do fix that. For now my grade will stand at a C. I look forward to seeing how you develop this story. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Naruto: The Path of Destiny

You seem to have a good idea going here adding the new characters was unexpected and I am very surprised at how you started it within a dream. My suggestion though would be to only use bold face when you absolutely need to try to use it in the main story as little as possible. Otherwise it was a very good story and I loved reading the first chapter and I can’t wait to see where this story takes us. For now my grade will be a C and I hope you post another chapter soon. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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BlackMajjicDuchess

Red Ops (Review 2)

This story was … interesting. Admittedly being a Naruto/Hinata fan I kind of died a little bit when Naruto shut the door on her. The ending kind of hurt my heart a little Hinata killing her husband was just a little hurtful. I myself could have settled for chapter 13 being the ending plot to the story. In my view of things no matter how much Naruto did no matter how badly he screwed up Hinata would have never killed him. This story is very good but very heart wrenching as well but ill give it a B for a good plot line a very good read and I recommend it to those who like to see a bit of pain and suffering.

-L

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Breeding Season

This story was very interesting. I couldn’t tear my eyes away for more than a second to get a drink or bit into my food. Everything about this story was just perfect. You placed every moment of bloodshed, romance, and surprise in just the places they needed to be. I myself am hoping that you do write a sequel. I would love to see Hanae duke it out with Nine Tails Naruto or even more so see Naruto summon the fox against an enemy. Imagine if the Akatsuki happened to show up and Naruto actually uses the fox to get rid of them. I would also love to see what happens the next time the fox gets loose. I mean from what happened right before he gave Naruto control again it seemed he found that he actually loves Hinata and wants to be gentler with her the next time but that’s just my view. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this story deserves an A. Like I said I hope theirs a sequel and I hope to read more stories like this one.

-L

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CamouflageDragon

Dawn of the Knew Dragons

This story has a new quota in introducing new dragons and new team mates into this trading for chase young is a good idea but in my personal opinion deleting the original team was not the way to go. For example the story New Beginnings by Prophet of Worlds also introduced new dragons but kept the original team together. I’m not going to criticize your story until I read more but for now my grade for it would have to be a C.

-L

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Naruto New Leaf Era

This story seems to be on its way. I have to say though I was disappointed. The story idea if the adventures of the future generations of the Uzumaki, Uchiha, Hyuga, and every one is a phenomenal idea but your writing however seems to be lacking. Firstly you didn’t describe any of the characters I couldn’t see the teacher Samanorii or Kanji I only knew their names, Try giving some descriptions of the village to tell how its changed and what will always be there. Finally watch your spelling in most of the story I caught minor errors repeatedly so try to fix that but otherwise a very good piece of writing. My grade for now will stand at a C. This story idea is great and I can see that you have talent so keep trying and Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Revenge of the God Cards

I love the new characters you’ve created. All I have to say for now on this story is that it needs more chapters and a lot more feeling in the characters and try and make the chapters longer. For now my rating is a C. Good Luck.

-L

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Pokémon Academy

This story was very interesting indeed. In the opening chapter I noticed the reference to Ash that was indeed a spectacular moment. Other than that though there are a few things that your story seems to be missing for one what region is this school in. There are a variety of them across Kanto, Hoenn, Johto, and Sinnoh. Also what does this school look like and how old are these kids. Overall this story is a fun read but its just lacking a little explanation but overall ill give this story a B well done.

-L

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Naruto Jonin Saga

This story was action packed with a capital A. I could not stop reading this story once I began and I cant even describe how much I enjoyed it. As for rewriting it in story format I myself would think of it better in that way. However that is my opinion and it is a great story nun the less. My grade is A well done very well done.

-L

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Dart93

Resident Evil Naruto Style

This story was completely awesome I couldn’t stop reading it for less than a second to take a bit of my sandwich or take a drink of my soda I couldn’t believe how Naruto and Anko were portrayed this was just to awesome for words to describe. My rating is a 4 and I just can’t wait to read the sequel. Well Done.

-L

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Element-Chaos

The Forces Within

This story’s first chapter is a complete masterpiece I could not stop reading even for a second every single word every single phrase was needed and each time it painted a picture of the story itself. I like the plot twist about infusing Madra, Kyuubi. and Minato all within Naruto’s body. It had me stunned. I can’t wait to see what happens next in this story and I hope you update it soon. My grade is an A for the time being I hope to read more within the next month. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Espada15

The Clash: The Espada vs. The Noahs

I cant say much about this story at the moment because there is not much to go on. However you seem to be creating a good idea here but I would describe some of the characters I mean If we are fans of D. Grey Man then of course we already know what Allen and the others look like and the same goes for Bleach but what if the person reading this story is just a bleach ran or just a D. Grey Man fan they wont be sure of any of the other characters. When you write you should make it as though the person reading the story knows nothing about any of the characters or how the room looks. Otherwise your writing is phenomenal and for now my grade will be a 3. I hope to read more soon and I hope you like all writers strive to improve. Don’t Disappoint

-L

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Evilfrog1

Bang goes Love

This story moved me I couldn’t believe the chapters that I read; it was utterly beautiful it beginning with Naruto’s death and over time becoming this it’s just unspeakably magnificent. I can barley form words into how beautifully you wrote this. I do however have two suggestions. One I suggest you have Naruto and Company go on more missions their Ninja after all they wouldn’t just stay home all the time and don’t forget the Akatsuki is still there. Secondly if your going to make Naruto And Company that powerful you need to create a villain or power that is of equal or close to the same power as his to create an epic battle and something for Naruto to fight at. Well anyway my grade stands at an A. good Luck and Don’t Disappoint

-L

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FreakyFreak17

Complications of Life and Love

This story was completely beautiful the way you captured Kooky and Wallaby was amazing I just can’t describe how much I loved this story. My rating is an S. well done.

-L

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Katergator

A little Prank goes a Long Way

This little one shot was completely Hilarious. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. The way you portrayed each of the Titians was completely accurate in that situation all I have to say is that your level of writing is way up there my grade is an S. Well done.

-L

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Ki-nee-chan

Cyber Entity

I have to admit at first I didn’t expect much for this story but as I continued reading I found myself unable to stop reading. Combining the game world of Pokémon into the real world was genius. I believe that you have a lot of potential with this story and I hope to follow it and see where it ends up. Here is a suggestion though. From what I’ve read so far it seems that your character is in a form of virtual reality and therefore I think that because of that distinction instead of the traditional Pokémon game where you’re the only human who has created a character you should have the entire world playing this game on one setting. Thus more choices and more of the traditional Pokémon show style but I digress. As of now my rating on this story is a B Well done I hope you continue to make this story better and better.

-L

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Grey Hat, Purple Scarf

This story was very interesting I can’t wait to see how you progress it along. Transforming a human into a Pokémon right in front of the mother and her not noticing a thing I thought that was kind of funny. The character Twitch is my favorite so far I like that she’s not only kind but very nervous a lot. Although I don’t know Gengar’s goals as of yet I can’t wait to see how they progress. My Grade for now will be a C Oh and a little suggestion try to give a little more information in each chapter than your giving I read this entire story in 6 minutes so try and make them longer but other than that flawless. Good luck and don’t disappoint.

-L

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Trick House

This story is … Interesting. I see you’re trying to show people the frustration and anger in trying to figure out the pain of the trick house. What I don’t understand is other than the frustration of showing them I don’t seem to see any other goals or power to this story. I’d like to help you figure something out but I have no suggestions for this story. My rating is a C for now because it is interesting even if it doesn’t have the power id like to see. Good luck to you.

-L

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Waking in a Dream

This story is good so far. I see the dream connection you are making and it’s interesting so far. I don’t have many words for this story except for continue writing and try to capture the reader more I felt myself drifting in and out of the story a few times. I will rate this a C for good effort and I hope to see more.

-L

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Kittycat 'ily'

The Old Days

I can’t really rate this story because the first chapter has not been written but you seem to have a few interesting characters. I can’t wait to see what you do with them. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Prophet of Worlds

Arrival of a Foreign Princess

This story is a moderate read. I’m not insulting you or your writing its just I myself prefer action adventure stories but even though your story was not one it kept me interested. I’ll give this story an B rating and I can’t wait to read more. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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If Only it was Over

All I have to say is that this story is breathtaking. I cannot compose words to how much heart and soul you have poured into this story. Every scene filled with everything you’d expect and much more. The only suggestion I have for this story is in the future try and make the chapters a bit longer. But besides that it was completely breathtaking. My ranking is an S. I hope to read the rest of the story and I will continue to review it every few chapters and I also recommend this to all my readers.

-L

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New Beginnings

This story is a very well written piece of work. I can see you have worked very hard putting your heart and soul into creating the characters as well as writing the story. The story itself is very entertaining and fun to read. You are a master writer when it comes to this piece. My rating is S. I recommend this to each and every one of those who read this review and I do hope the sequel is just as good.

-L

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The Two Prophecies

This story as of now is very well written though a bit lacking in that of action and humor but it is just starting out so I will not judge what your going to do before you do it. To make a little suggestion I hope you try a spin off or something to draw your readers back into the story like in New Beginnings. My rating as of now is an A. I hope to read much more of this story and my recommendation continues with the sequel.

-L

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Rose Tiger

Can You Feel The Love, Naruto?

Alright this story is utterly beautiful even if it’s only a one shot. On a side note I love the fact that you dedicated the story to friends who helped you in the past that was a very nice thing to do. Another side note, your keep saying that no flames are allowed but firstly all writers are subject to bad criticism at some point in their writing it’s what makes writers want to improve their ability and make things better. Also the way your writing is very good I love the way you inserted the song that Timon and Pumba sang in the lion king it was cute but you do seem to have a lot of spelling errors and I understand that everyone has their own opinion when it comes to a show but saying a line such as ‘the complete destruction of the damn Akatsuki’ is just subjecting you for other people to oppose your opinion saying things such as this will undoubtedly lead to a flame review. But otherwise this story is completely brilliant and I hope I enjoy the others just as much as I’ve enjoyed this one. My rating is an S. Good job and I hope your other stories don’t disappoint.

-L

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Sillusion

Konoha’s Pokémon Master

This story seems very funny and unique I can’t wait to see where it’s going and for now I will rate it as a 4. Good work and don’t disappoint,

-L

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SilverFang88

A Unique Hospital Visit

I’m not going to lie. Even if this was kind of awkward to read it was completely hilarious. I haven’t laughed that hard since rush hour 3 came out. All I have to say is that you yourself could probably be a stand up comic but otherwise my ratings an A. Haha well done.

-L

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The Fox with a Dog’s Fangs

This story has exceeded all my hopes. At first I thought it unwise to fuse the stories of Naruto and Inuyasha but I have since changed my view on this based upon this story. All I could ever hope has been written here. The battles are epic. The love scenes are slow and collective. This is all I could hope for in a crossover story every single detail is inspiring and entertaining. I would recommend this story to any fans of Naruto or Inuyasha. Let us hope they see what I see in this Humorous, Action Packed, Sensitive and caring story. My rating is a perfect 5. Well done, I hope to read more very soon and I hope you provide it.

-L

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simply.complicated1

Minato’s Last Moments

I enjoyed this one-shot very much. Admittedly it was little short but I enjoyed the way you described everyone and the way he died truly speaks something for the word Epic. I give this story an S completely perfect. Keep writing and I can’t wait to read more.

-L

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Bringing a loved one home

This story was very beautiful even though it was a one shot it does show how Hinata’s father would react if the Chunin fight between Naruto and Neji never happened. Ill give this story an S it’s very good but in the future make them a bit longer.

-L

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Special-Jonin23

Swordsmen of Fate

This story was unspeakably exceptional. I couldn’t pull my eyes away even to take a drink of my Soda. This story portrays Naruto as something I couldn’t have even imagined. I cant even describe my want to read more. My grade stands as an S. keep writing and don’t change a thing. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Trickseter King Chaos

Heaven and Hell’s Chosen

This story depicts Naruto as the person everyone thought he should be along with the resurrection of a few Uchiha members so Sasuke doesn’t go completely insane. This story is a very well written I can’t explain how exceptional this story is. Every single moment has something you wouldn’t expect I can’t wait to see what you do with this story it has so much potential and so many different ways it could turn out. I give this story an A for capturing my interest almost immediately I hope to read much more of this story and I expect to see much more fighting and love here. I have high expectations don’t disappoint.

-L

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Jinchuriki Revolution

This is a very nice story so far I can’t wait to see how it turns out. The way you proclaim Naruto is very well thought out. But no matter what I read when it comes to Naruto is that you all try to put Sasuke in his place by making Naruto stronger than him. All you’re really doing is turning him into a new form of Sasuke. But I digress. I give this story an A rank for being so capturing. But to make a suggestion try to make Naruto and Sasuke friends and make them more powerful as friends. When they battle together they are unbeatable there styles of fighting support each other but it’s your choice. I hope to read much more. Don’t disappoint.

-L

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Xeno Path

This story was very interesting to say the least. I myself never expected you to portray Naruto as an android. I hope to read more of this story soon as it intrigues me more than I believed it would. My grade for now will stand at a 4. I hope to read more very soon and I hope its just as good as the previous chapters. Don’t Disappoint.

-L

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Zaara the Black

Ben 10: Revolution!

This story was exceptional! I couldn’t stop reading at all. This story is just completely phenomenal I recommend thus to all my readers and whatever you do don’t change a thing. I can’t wait to read more and my grade stands at an S. Well done!

-L

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Birth of a Phantom

This story is very well done so far. I see your working relationship angles and making Naruto a better Ninja but im still not seeing the point of him gaining the ghost powers you need to provide that to your readers or they will be confused and make sure to give them an Enemy or the story has no fighting point. But you are just starting off on this story so its understandable how your working everything into the story. Again please make sure you should label crossovers because this story seems like a combination of Naruto and Danny Phantom. For now my rating is a 3 I hope it gets better I can see a lot of possibilities in this story.

-L

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Gone But Never Forgotten

Such dedication to one person. Showing all people that even if someone is hated and despised by many they should never judge them until they know there true intent. They have to look into the heart of the person and they shall find someone of great heart, strength, and love. We must always remember those who are lost in battle even if they are hated. This story is short but very meaningful my rating is S. Well done this has exceeded my expectations I do hope your other stories do as well.

-L

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New Life, New Fight!

This story is very exceptional. I can see so many possibilities for this story and the connection between the worlds is a very good idea making the final power clash between Naruto and Sasuke known as a giant event breaking the barrier between the worlds. I have a bit of a suggestion. I see the pairing between Anko and Naruto you are trying to produce here but being as it’s a pokegirl world I would suggest having Naruto release the seal on the Kyubi and when she is released into that world she becomes one of Naruto’s newest pokegirl partners. Again please make sure you label crossovers this is one between Naruto and Pokémon. For now my rating is a 4 but we shall see how your story progresses.

-L

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Power of the Ancients

This story is very well written. It has a very good plotline and unexpected twists you wouldn’t normally expect. When you began to introduce avatar characters I saw a great change at the way I looked at the story. I am egger to read much more. And as a suggestion since you have introduced the order of the white lotus and Aang into the story I suggest you have them both play bigger roles than you seem to have been letting on. It will not only provide a plot twist but a good partner for Naruto in a tight spot. Oh and one more thing I’ve gone over a few of your stories you should label the ones that draw worlds together as crossovers to draw fans of other animes. My rating on this story for now is a 4 well done and I expect more.

-L

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