Author has written 6 stories for Inkheart, Twilight, Darkest Powers, Maximum Ride, and Sweep.
Hi. I'm a girl and I'm from the USA. I'm ageless, nameless, and homeless. Like: reading, writing, singing, Youtube, cheering, My Chemical Romance, punk rock music, laughing, Green Day, bacon,, chocolate, books, guitar, blink-182, manga & anime. Hate: reality television, social networking sites, poseurs, e-Readers, fanfics about the future character's children (when poorly written), waking up early. Fluent in sarcasm and Spanish. That's all you need to know, damn perverted stalkers.
Okay. Down to business.
Sorry - I just feel the need to explain some things.
The True Rule of Truth: I suck at updating. No seriously. I have this thing called a life, and it likes to keep me off the internet. So yes. Unless a story has been written out completely beforehand (as I'm doing now), don't expect updates that can even vaguely be considered occasional.
Anyways. Moving on. My stories, in the order of publication date.
Fiery Inkheart: Posted December 6th, 2009. 3 years ago. Oh dear god. Where to begin? Problems: spacing, plot direction, repetition, unoriginality, and many more things. Good things: uh, some parts of the prose, I guess? This story is a terrific example of my early writing: crappy, generally poorly written, with little to no intentions of a true plot. Ugh. I want to remove it, but am determined to keep up most of my old writings, to try and track my improvement. I'm fairly certain I've improved from this. Had some intentions of redoing it, but no. I'm not going to. I suck at these types of things (see above).
Will Be Loved: Posted August 1st, 2010. 2 years, odd months ago. Mmm. This story was less crappily written than the above, with some intended plot direction. It was still very unoriginal though, and was very romance-y and tried too hard to be prosaic. I had problems with chapter division, keeping the writing interesting, etc. It really bored me after a while. I can't do long term fluff. I guess I plan on continuing this one day, as I have the files and the idea document on there, and it will occasionally catch my interest and prompt a rereading of it. But as for anything in the near future? Count it out.
Parental Control: Bella Swan Edition: Posted December 27th, 2010. 2 years ago. Oh god. I want to delete this, because it's just so stupid. A shitty little one-shot that I did when I was bored and still vaguely entertained by the Twilight series. This just showcases my stupidity and my need to post something idiotic every now and then.
Pranked!: Posted January 1st, 2011. 2 years ago. By far my most popular story, Pranked started out as a joke one-shot and then, as so many authors are prompted in to doing, was made in to a series. I don't regret doing that - this story has been fun to write, and has brought me a bit of attention in the Darkest Powers community - it's nearing 200 reviews, and I'm so proud of and grateful for every damn one. But because it's a joke fanfic, and because it was done 2 years ago, I find that a lot of the humor I used back then is different from what I use & find funny nowadays. I'm probably going to write more chapters, but I've grown up since then, and I don't know if my audience did as well. So I've rather outgrown this story, but I'll still update it every now and again.
Happy Birthday, Max: Posted May 13th, 2011. 1 & 1/2 years ago. This was a one-shot that, for once, stayed a one-shot. At the time I posted it, I liked how it was, but a recent review brought to my attention that I now don't like the story. Huh. Go figure. I'd like to change it, add a second redone chapter to it, and I will probably end up doing just that. But as for a one-shot, I thought it was pretty good - not terrible, not amazing. It was the basis for future ones like that (done right), and I hope to improve from it.
Called: Posted June 26th, 2013. I've had this fic written out for a long time, now. Just getting around to posting it because I like to be spontaneous sometimes. Pure smut, plain and simple. Read it. Enjoy it. Review it. Fap to it. Do as you please.
I have a file folder on my computer labeled "Fanfiction," and it's just filled with different ideas I've had ever since discovering the site way back in early 2009. (It took me a bit of time to actually make an account here.) Some of them are good ideas, some of them are bad ideas, and some of them make me want to vomit. I've got a few stories that are my treasured possessions, that I want to work on for years and years until they become fully fledged stories, and I can finally be satisfied with posting them to this site. I want to show that I can write better than the immature, idiotic work that I've posted on here in the past few years, including a story that I deleted from this site. That's how bad it was. You want it? PM. It's REALLY bad though. xD But I digress. Though I may seem rather inactive on this site, I have remained active inside my own mind. I don't stop thinking about characters, plots, settings, any of that for long periods of time. I'm a writer - it's what I do. So even if I don't post for a while, don't worry. I'm not dead, I haven't quit fanfiction. I'm just hiding in the background, waiting for my time, and the perfect angle from which to strike. Peace and love, children.
Favorite Series/Books (in no particular order):
Virals - Kathy Reichs
Uglies - Scott Westerfield
Wake - Lisa McMann
Ghost Huntress - Marley Gibson
House of Night - P.C. and Kristen Cast
Demon Trapper's Daughter - Jana Oliver
Hush, Hush - Becca Fitzpatrick
Crank - Ellen Hopkins
Vampire Academy - Richelle Mead
Mortal Instruments - Cassandra Clare
Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Infernal Devices - Cassandra Clare
Fallen - Lauren Kate
Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Darkest Powers Trilogy - Kelley Armstrong
Peter and the Starcatchers - Ridley Pearson and Dave Barry
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Children of the Lamp - Phillip B. Kerr
The Fire Within - Chris D'Lancey
Sweep - Cate Tiernan
Night World - L.J. Smith
Dead is the New Black - Marlene Perez
Balefire - Cate Tiernan
Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Kathryn Lasky
Gone - Michael Grant
Gallagher Girls - Ally Carter
Confessions of Georgia Nicolson - Louise Rennison
Maximum Ride - James Patterson
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan
Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins
The Underland Chronicles - Suzanne Collins
Honk If You Hate Me - Deborah Halverson
Gamer Girl - Mari Mancusi
Subject Seven - James A. Moore
Rage: A Love Story - Julie Anne Peters
Pet Sematary - Stephen King
Kill Me if You Can - James Patterson
Sundays At Tiffany's - James Patterson & Gabrielle Charbonnet
TV Show: Grey's Anatomy
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
Anime: Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)
Ouran High School Host Club
High School of the Dead
Food: Monster Energy drink counts as food, right? Okay.
Band: My Chemical Romance.
I also love blink-182, Panic! At the Disco, Green Day, Pierce the Veil, Bring Me the Horizon, All Time Low, Of Mice & Men, Muse, U2, and Mayday Parade.
Album: Sempiternal - Bring Me the Horizon
Book: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - J. R. R. Tolkein
Movie: The fucking HOBBIT. Oh. My. Shit. All of it. Just... So action-packed. So intense. SO REAL. Saw it on a prescreening :DD
"It's a thin line between light and dark, between pain and pleasure, between heat and cold, between love and hate, between life and death, between this world and the next." - [folk saying]
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyway." - Robert Downey, Jr.
"When I imagined someone holding me and whispering dirty things in my ear, he had a Russian accent." - Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead.
"What happened was, I went right off the sidewalk and in to the bushes, and I was all, 'Whoa!' and I killed, like, so many plants!" - Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance
"Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?" [Jem]. "They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty litte beasts. Never trust a duck." - Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare
"There's no such thing as ghosts!" "I beg to differ, there's one in my hallway!" - Respectively, me and my friend Aubrey
"There was a time when I thought I was a ferret," Will said, "but that turned out to be the opium haze. Did you know it had that effect? Because I didn't." - Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare
"I believe that everyone has someone out there. But if their person has died at an early age, then they're screwed..." - The Spazzy One
"The handsome young fellow trying to rescue you from a hideous fate is never wrong. Even if he says the sky is purple and made of hedgehogs." - Will Herondale, from Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare
"It's small." "It's still a spider!" - Two of my friends talking about a spider X)
"You're a psychopath." "I prefer creative." - Respectively, Nora and Rixon, Crescendo
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." - Last words of Villa, Francisco Pancho' (1878-1923)
"We stand and defiantly give death the finger." - Meredith Grey, in voiceover, at the beginning of an episode of Grey's Anatomy.
"Why yes, a bulletproof vest!" - The final request of James W. Rodgers, an American criminal, before the firing squad.
"If I revealed my secret identity, the world would go to shit." - Frank Iero of My Chemical Romance
"It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'." - Jace Wayland, City of Bones, Cassandra Clare
"Dr. Yang and my wife sometimes have sleep-overs... in my bed... with me in it." - Derek Shepherd, These Arms of Mine, Season 7 episode 6
"Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain?" Will demanded in mock horror. "Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not doing something wrong, as the case may be." He banged on the side of the carrige. "Thomas! We must away at once to the nearest brothel! I seek scandal and low companionship." Thomas snorted and muttered something like "bosh," which Will ignored. - Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare
"You must feel so special." - Aubrey
"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going." - Agent Rossi, Criminal Minds
"I give up. I see no point to living if I can't be beautiful." - Howl, from Howl's Moving Castle
Pick the month you were born in-
January I killed
-Pick the day you were born on-
1 A banana
-Pick the color of the shirt you wearing-
White Because a hoe stole my taco.
-Now read it all together and laugh at yourself!
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my ass when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!
5 When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No Loser, I paid 12.00 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, and it couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?! Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
1. You talk to yourself a lot.
2. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
3. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
4. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
5. You live off of sugar and caffeine.
6. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
7. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
8. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
9. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. (hooray for rolly-chairs! XD)
10. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
11. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
12. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
13. Your friends stopped looking at you funny for laughing for no reason a loooooong time ago.
14. You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.
15. You’re constantly thinking of new ideas for your story(ies), no matter where you are.
16. You narrate your life mentally.
The Rules of Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bees"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin
32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous
37) I will not lick Trevor
38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey"
39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously
41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
42) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
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