Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
An apple a day will keep anyone away if thrown hard enough
Keep Calm and Put Bacon On
My fish is good at playing dead. He must be going for a world record.
WARNING If zombies chase us, I'm tripping you
Dear math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.
anything unrelated to elephants is irrELEPHANT
the only thing we have to FEAR is FEAR ITSELF ... and spiders
If life gives you lemons KEEP THEM beacause hey, free lemons
It's ok Pluto, I'm not a planet either
ALC_H_L (sometimes alcohol is the answer)
Mixed martial arts... and crafts
Elephants never forget AND THEY NEVER FORGIVE
withgreat MOUSTACHE comes great RESPONSIBILITY
Sarcasm is the best thing EVER
I can't hear you over the sound of how EPIC I am
I am disapointment in your grammar
NESSECITIY is the mother of invention MacGYVER was the FATHER
Don't fight FIRE with FIRE no one can the on 2 FIRES
i have not yet begun to procrastinate
Strangers have the BEST candy
If you can't be a good example, be a WARNING
Dyslexics are teople poo
I'm confused, oh wait, maybe I'm not
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room
I got 99 donuts 'cause a bitch ate 1
FUNNER GOODER than just fun
Pinatas victims of child abuse
Real life would be more fun if we rode dinosaurs
if it weren't for LAW ENFORCEMNT and PHYSICS I would be UNSTOPABLE!!!
6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy
Blackmail The hobby that pays
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
CONGRADULATIONS!!! you're not illiterate!!!
I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the ninjas that hide in the dark.
Don't try this at home. Try this at a freinds home.
"B" is for Bacon and that's good enough for me!
I'm a vegetarian except at MEAL TIME!!!
Liquor makes the world go round... and round... and round