Author has written 5 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Dear Dumb Diary, Camp Confidential series, and Zoey 101.
Hey my name’s Brittany and I’d just like to say 1st of all, Happy Holidays, and 2nd of all, I luv whoever luvs my profile. All my friends totally know that this page will be the awesomest. You should have faith in such awesomistic people like me. LOL.
A little bit about me:
I love social networking sites (if you know of any awesome ones other than Myspace and Facebook that’d be great. Just leave me a message or something). I also love animals of all times. I have one dog and tons of clothes. I have a bunch of friends too. I luv smiley faces and anything happy and bright. Hence, awesomistic is born. I luv youtube, dancing, singing and my fave song of the moment is Tik Tok by Kesha. AWESOME!! =) PS: I heart Alex J...
So yup….. so heres some wacky, odd, or just plain bizarre things such as….
Shawn: And it'll stop students from doing things such as playing with their hair or clothes or, um, er, SHOES!
Me (in math class): So you stalk Jamie, yet you live in my shower...
Sam: Not here Brittany. In homeroom
Jamie: So you love Erica??
Me: No i luv Alex remember?!
Jamie: That was really loud...
Bold the ones that fit you
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Try Not To Cry:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
Please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, re-post as
Its okay to cry, I cried, so can you
Went to a party Mom...
I went to a party,
Good Friend VS Best Friend
A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them. A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"
A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life
25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
11. Only in America...do wa leave our windows all the way down and our doors locked
Things NOT to do after reading Twilight. (By PerfectPaperHearts)
Become paranoid and assume every one who is good looking and has pale skin is a vampire.
Scream “The Vampires are coming out” on rainy days.
Tell Bella she’s fat.
Tell Edward, Rosalie said it.
Make a fake thought of Bella kissing Mike Newton in the same room as Edward.
Act vampire like in class.
Skip school and when any one asks say “I was thirsty”
Go to forks and go to one of the Cullen boys then say “I know your secret, don’t worry I will not tell if you… TAKE IT OFF!!
Giggle every time some one says the word ‘vegetarian’
Spread a rumor that Rosalie has had plastic surgery.
Tell Alice you have Willy Wonka’s laffy taffy stretching machine and she could grow 5ft.
Call Aro and tell him Bella is changed and she wants him to come over and check right now.
Secretly put Jane and Alec up for adoption and give then the good bye speech.
Put Jasper into a kinder garden class full of super active hyper little kids.
Spread a rumor that Emmett is on steroids.
Sneak onto Edward’s blog and call Jacob a puppy.
Tell Lauren, Bella wants to have a fight right now, and then scream “BITCH FIGHT!!”
Talk to Bella, with your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and pretend to be possessed by her grandma.
Tell Bella, Edward has a thing for blonds.
Give Edward a copy of Twilight and watch his eyes widen as he reads then say “and that was the edited version.”
Make a long list of things that probably won’t happen any way.
List 10 of your favorite people.
1. Jamie 2. Maddi 3.Issi 4.Trin 5.kristen 6. Lucas 7.mel 8.alex 9.Randy 10.shawn
1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?
So trin invited Issi and Alex to dinner at her house. Erm I don't think this is gonna end well... why didnt they just go to perkins?
2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?
Randy's trying to get Kristen to go to a yoga class. Well, i'd probably tell Kristen to make Randy come too and bend him in to a little pretzel!!
3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?
Jamie. Do i really wanna stay at Lucas's house??
4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?
So maddi and Mel are making out. Shawn would walk in, mutter something about Obama and shoes then walk right back out
5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?
SO issi is in luv with lucas. I tought we told each other everything! ANyways, apparently this means that if Alex is jealous, he likes soccer players... dang. Curse you cross country and the fact that when i play soccer i cant help but trip over the ball!!
6) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?
So if Trin jumped me in a dark alleyway, Maddi would be too distracted to save me and Shawn would be too busy talking about playing with his shoes and magical kilts that the only one left is mel. Thanks girl. You really are a true friend.
7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?
She doesnt even know how to boil water so she'd turn her cooking show into a game show. Then when the person she wanted to win loses, she'll probably either commit homicide on the winner or help the loser cheat!
9) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?
Issi has to marry either Alex, Trin, or Randy. Given the circumstances, she'd probably pick Trin. (sorry Luke but Trin has to marry Issi)
10) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?
So Melanie kidnaps Maddi and demands something from Kristin for Maddi's release. She'd probably turn Kristin into her personal butleress or something...
11) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?
If Jamie is reading this: 1 If anyone else is reading this: 6
12) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?
So Shawn challenged Trin to a chariot race.. Probably because Luke wanted to pick that time (when trin won the race) to admit something very important to Trin. Guess their relationship's over
13) Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens?
Shawn cannot gang up on someone. He's too weak. So he'd attempt to rescue issi and the lived happily ever after
14) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?
So Shawn and Maddi are getting married and alex isnt invited. Alex prob didnt wanna go after his grapefruit date with maddi where she beat him mercilessly.
15) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because Lucas is a scaredy cat
16) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?
Once upon a time... Obama changed evrything, there were shoes, and i didnt like girls touching my hair. Then we won a debate and now get t wear magical kilts. The end. PS: Stick figures overthrew Hitler and ruled the world. mwahhahahaha
17) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late?
Jamie arrived late because she was too busy hating cats and calling Mr. M a fish murderer
18) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?
So Randy and Kristin are drunk and are at my house. This answer's simple. They confess their love for each other and i illlegally legally marry them
19) 3,8,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?
Ok so lemme get this straight. Issi, Alex, Lucas, and Trin all went to the zoo for Alex's bday. The only present he gets is an engagement ring from Lucas and then Trin becomes jealous and rips lucas up and feeds him to the penguins
20) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do?
They are asking me to join their protest where they rebel against the principal for not giving us school uniforms. Its obvious id join them. (inside debate joke)
21) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?
Randy murdered maddi's best friend. Thatd be me. Well, i wouldnt know what maddi would do to get back at them because apparently im dead...
22) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1?
Lucas would try to save himself but Jamie wouldve eaten him already cause she got hungry
24) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?
Kristin is trapped in a cave. Shawn somes to rescue her and gets trappeed in the cave as well. So they go on a journey to find magical haunted pants and run into a pack of caterpillars smoking weed. Shawn screams just say no and the caterpillars stop what theyre doing and attack shawn. Kristin records shawns cries of pain and blasts the volume on her ipod so that a rescue squad will hear them.
25) 3 starts a day camp. What happens?
Jamie crashes issi's day camp and renames it " hot tub party"
26) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?
Simple. Alex joins Trin, Lucas, and Mel then something blows up and alex remembers he forgot his purple bra and cherry lipgloss so he runs to perkins to get them
27) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction?\
Jamie writes a story about Shawn and Randy going out. Randy will prob cheat on shawn with his cat in the story and Maddi would never let these guys live this down
28) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?
Erm, maybe... Idk Alex ate it all..
29) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?
Alex calls his dad and Perkins comes to cater them. Prob solved. (Wow issi and alex do a lot more than i thot...)
30) While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do?
Alex falls in love, Issi is jealous, and so Edward appears and screams
"IM GONNA RAPE ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DONT LEAVE"
Issi then goes on a killing rampage and soon 1-10 (cept for 3) are dead. The End!
On December 24, 2006 at 8 oclock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead. Doctors couldnt come up with the cause of his death. His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened. Turns out he was still signed into his Yahoo email account. She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didnt send a chain letter about a little girl that kills you in your sleep with no natrual cause of death. This is the email she read: My name is ofelia Heras. Im 16 years old. Im a murderer. I have no face. When you look at me youll die immediately.You have 900 seconds to repost this on your profile or I will visit you tonight.
Ok I’m done editing for now. But check back laytah!! =) Thanx to my spazztastic friend for showing me this site!! BTW here’s a link to her profile cause it rocks and if you don’t like it, you’re icky.
Oh and one last thing before I go. Just because you’re spazzy, you think it’s cool to be a dork, or you totally don’t care about “being mature” and not “braiding people’s hair in the middle of class” or “doing dangerous things that may harm others”, doesn’t mean that someday you won’t make a great dictator just like Hitler. (Everyone secretly loved him and we know it. And to all those people who say he killed the Jews, Hitler was framed. The Nazizes wanted to commit suicide, there was an odd number of them, and they wanted to honor the “buddy system.” So everyone played extreme rock paper scissors until everyone was safe ‘cept for…z jews... mwahahaha. ;) )
Well, um, BYE!! =)
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