polarbrr97
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Joined 12-03-09, id: 2167134, Profile Updated: 06-26-10
Author has written 5 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Dear Dumb Diary, Camp Confidential series, and Zoey 101.

Hey my name’s Brittany and I’d just like to say 1st of all, Happy Holidays, and 2nd of all, I luv whoever luvs my profile. All my friends totally know that this page will be the awesomest. You should have faith in such awesomistic people like me. LOL.

A little bit about me:

I love social networking sites (if you know of any awesome ones other than Myspace and Facebook that’d be great. Just leave me a message or something). I also love animals of all times. I have one dog and tons of clothes. I have a bunch of friends too. I luv smiley faces and anything happy and bright. Hence, awesomistic is born. I luv youtube, dancing, singing and my fave song of the moment is Tik Tok by Kesha. AWESOME!! =) PS: I heart Alex J...

So yup….. so heres some wacky, odd, or just plain bizarre things such as….

Shawn: And it'll stop students from doing things such as playing with their hair or clothes or, um, er, SHOES!

Me (in math class): So you stalk Jamie, yet you live in my shower...

Jared: WHAT?!

Sam: Not here Brittany. In homeroom

Jamie: So you love Erica??

Me: No i luv Alex remember?!

Jamie: That was really loud...

Bold the ones that fit you
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd
.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser

I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
i act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
i LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF (all the time, i get yelled at for it all the time!), so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant
.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight
.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless.
I have taken sisha, so I MUST be attention seeking

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

Please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, re-post as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Its okay to cry, I cried, so can you

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye

Good Friend VS Best Friend

A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them. A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"

A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America...do wa leave our windows all the way down and our doors locked

Things NOT to do after reading Twilight. (By PerfectPaperHearts)

Become paranoid and assume every one who is good looking and has pale skin is a vampire.

Scream “The Vampires are coming out” on rainy days.

Tell Bella she’s fat.

Tell Edward, Rosalie said it.

Make a fake thought of Bella kissing Mike Newton in the same room as Edward.

Act vampire like in class.

Skip school and when any one asks say “I was thirsty”

Go to forks and go to one of the Cullen boys then say “I know your secret, don’t worry I will not tell if you… TAKE IT OFF!!

Giggle every time some one says the word ‘vegetarian’

Spread a rumor that Rosalie has had plastic surgery.

Tell Alice you have Willy Wonka’s laffy taffy stretching machine and she could grow 5ft.

Call Aro and tell him Bella is changed and she wants him to come over and check right now.

Secretly put Jane and Alec up for adoption and give then the good bye speech.

Put Jasper into a kinder garden class full of super active hyper little kids.

Spread a rumor that Emmett is on steroids.

Sneak onto Edward’s blog and call Jacob a puppy.

Tell Lauren, Bella wants to have a fight right now, and then scream “BITCH FIGHT!!”

Talk to Bella, with your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and pretend to be possessed by her grandma.

Tell Bella, Edward has a thing for blonds.

Give Edward a copy of Twilight and watch his eyes widen as he reads then say “and that was the edited version.”

Make a long list of things that probably won’t happen any way.

List 10 of your favorite people.

1. Jamie 2. Maddi 3.Issi 4.Trin 5.kristen 6. Lucas 7.mel 8.alex 9.Randy 10.shawn

1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

So trin invited Issi and Alex to dinner at her house. Erm I don't think this is gonna end well... why didnt they just go to perkins?

2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?

Randy's trying to get Kristen to go to a yoga class. Well, i'd probably tell Kristen to make Randy come too and bend him in to a little pretzel!!

3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?

Jamie. Do i really wanna stay at Lucas's house??

4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?

So maddi and Mel are making out. Shawn would walk in, mutter something about Obama and shoes then walk right back out

5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

SO issi is in luv with lucas. I tought we told each other everything! ANyways, apparently this means that if Alex is jealous, he likes soccer players... dang. Curse you cross country and the fact that when i play soccer i cant help but trip over the ball!!

6) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?

So if Trin jumped me in a dark alleyway, Maddi would be too distracted to save me and Shawn would be too busy talking about playing with his shoes and magical kilts that the only one left is mel. Thanks girl. You really are a true friend.

7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

She doesnt even know how to boil water so she'd turn her cooking show into a game show. Then when the person she wanted to win loses, she'll probably either commit homicide on the winner or help the loser cheat!

9) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?

Issi has to marry either Alex, Trin, or Randy. Given the circumstances, she'd probably pick Trin. (sorry Luke but Trin has to marry Issi)

10) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?

So Melanie kidnaps Maddi and demands something from Kristin for Maddi's release. She'd probably turn Kristin into her personal butleress or something...

11) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?

If Jamie is reading this: 1 If anyone else is reading this: 6

12) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?

So Shawn challenged Trin to a chariot race.. Probably because Luke wanted to pick that time (when trin won the race) to admit something very important to Trin. Guess their relationship's over

13) Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens?

Shawn cannot gang up on someone. He's too weak. So he'd attempt to rescue issi and the lived happily ever after

14) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?

So Shawn and Maddi are getting married and alex isnt invited. Alex prob didnt wanna go after his grapefruit date with maddi where she beat him mercilessly.

15) Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because Lucas is a scaredy cat

16) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

Once upon a time... Obama changed evrything, there were shoes, and i didnt like girls touching my hair. Then we won a debate and now get t wear magical kilts. The end. PS: Stick figures overthrew Hitler and ruled the world. mwahhahahaha

17) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late?

Jamie arrived late because she was too busy hating cats and calling Mr. M a fish murderer

18) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

So Randy and Kristin are drunk and are at my house. This answer's simple. They confess their love for each other and i illlegally legally marry them

19) 3,8,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?

Ok so lemme get this straight. Issi, Alex, Lucas, and Trin all went to the zoo for Alex's bday. The only present he gets is an engagement ring from Lucas and then Trin becomes jealous and rips lucas up and feeds him to the penguins

20) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do?

They are asking me to join their protest where they rebel against the principal for not giving us school uniforms. Its obvious id join them. (inside debate joke)

21) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?

Randy murdered maddi's best friend. Thatd be me. Well, i wouldnt know what maddi would do to get back at them because apparently im dead...

22) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1?

Lucas would try to save himself but Jamie wouldve eaten him already cause she got hungry

24) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?

Kristin is trapped in a cave. Shawn somes to rescue her and gets trappeed in the cave as well. So they go on a journey to find magical haunted pants and run into a pack of caterpillars smoking weed. Shawn screams just say no and the caterpillars stop what theyre doing and attack shawn. Kristin records shawns cries of pain and blasts the volume on her ipod so that a rescue squad will hear them.

25) 3 starts a day camp. What happens?

Jamie crashes issi's day camp and renames it " hot tub party"

26) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?

Simple. Alex joins Trin, Lucas, and Mel then something blows up and alex remembers he forgot his purple bra and cherry lipgloss so he runs to perkins to get them

27) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction?\

Jamie writes a story about Shawn and Randy going out. Randy will prob cheat on shawn with his cat in the story and Maddi would never let these guys live this down

28) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

Erm, maybe... Idk Alex ate it all..

29) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

Alex calls his dad and Perkins comes to cater them. Prob solved. (Wow issi and alex do a lot more than i thot...)

30) While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do?

Alex falls in love, Issi is jealous, and so Edward appears and screams

"IM GONNA RAPE ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DONT LEAVE"

Issi then goes on a killing rampage and soon 1-10 (cept for 3) are dead. The End!

On December 24, 2006 at 8 oclock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead. Doctors couldnt come up with the cause of his death. His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened. Turns out he was still signed into his Yahoo email account. She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didnt send a chain letter about a little girl that kills you in your sleep with no natrual cause of death. This is the email she read: My name is ofelia Heras. Im 16 years old. Im a murderer. I have no face. When you look at me youll die immediately.You have 900 seconds to repost this on your profile or I will visit you tonight.

Ok I’m done editing for now. But check back laytah!! =) Thanx to my spazztastic friend for showing me this site!! BTW here’s a link to her profile cause it rocks and if you don’t like it, you’re icky.

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1951329/SpAzZy_CaUsE_tHaTs_Me

Oh and one last thing before I go. Just because you’re spazzy, you think it’s cool to be a dork, or you totally don’t care about “being mature” and not “braiding people’s hair in the middle of class” or “doing dangerous things that may harm others”, doesn’t mean that someday you won’t make a great dictator just like Hitler. (Everyone secretly loved him and we know it. And to all those people who say he killed the Jews, Hitler was framed. The Nazizes wanted to commit suicide, there was an odd number of them, and they wanted to honor the “buddy system.” So everyone played extreme rock paper scissors until everyone was safe ‘cept for…z jews... mwahahaha. ;) )

Well, um, BYE!! =)

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Twilight in a Nutshell by Mits reviews
Parody summary of the Twilight Series.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/18/2012 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
You saved my life by bella3590 reviews
'I ran over to her and found that she was barely conscious. I patted her cheek. "Sam? Sam!"...' If you want to found what happened, please Read & Review.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,558 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Bella the Vampire Slayer by twilightnite reviews
Title says it all. Alice made one mistake, and they had to pay for it, with their LIVES! And then prescious family heirlooms are then burned by a match. It's weird, it's scary, it's Bella and Alice with caffiene. And you thought Emmett was scary.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,960 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 3/23/2008 - Published: 7/14/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lacey 101 reviews
4 new girls and 4 new guys enter PCA. Can they survive without killing each other?
Zoey 101 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 951 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/13/2010
Camp Confidential: Secret Style reviews
4 pretty little girls with strange little secrets enter the camp. Can they survive without telling their secrets?
Camp Confidential series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,662 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Complete
I'm Sooooo Dead It's Not Even Funny reviews
Ok so this is like my journal. Names have been changed. It's like Jamie's journal from dear dumb diary,only cooler.
Dear Dumb Diary - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2010
Ed writes a song reviews
Ed writes a song about Edward Cullen and Roy Mustang
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Edward E. - Complete
The Ring reviews
Ed and Winry fall in love and are about to be married. But first, Winry breaks an important promise. Will her baby be OK? Rated for language.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,041 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Winry R., Edward E.