IloveBumbleBee2009
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Poll: What do you think of Mummy 3? Vote Now!
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Joined 12-05-09, id: 2169008, Profile Updated: 07-12-10
Author has written 9 stories for Mummy, Transformers, Transformers/Beast Wars, and Pendergast series.

Wazzup ppl! I gotta tell ya it's awesome to finally have an account on ff.net! I warn you now, tho, my imagination (and inspiration) is split in a zillion different ways, so updates might take longer than I'd like. Rest assured, however, I will update as soon, and often, as possible. Hope ya enjoy my work! To get it outta the way, I'll say it here: I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS, THE MUMMY, OR ANYTHING ELSE I WRITE ABOUT UNLESS THEY ARE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her what’s wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.


Real Friend Rules

#1: When you fall down I'll laugh at you and beat the daylights out of whoever knocked you over.

#2: I will not hesitate to tell you when your cooking tastes like run over skunk hyped up on mountain dew.

#3: No matter what you say, I am sticking you with the food bill. And don't forget that I eat A LOT.

#4: I will not hesitate to point out that you have a hole in your pants, especially in public.

#5: I will always find you a date for the prom, always.

#6: When you turn red I will know that something good has happened and will annoy you till you tell.

#7: When you smile I know you are planning something evil and that i must be a part of it.

#8: When you stop talking to me... I will find out why! Even if it is not legal.

#9: I will always be able to tell when you need a vacation and start packing for you.

#10: When i am mad, you will know...

#11: No matter what anyone else says and despite logic, I am not short and you will tell me I'm not... GOT IT??

#12: When the guy at McDonalds messes up your order of curly fries, I will be the first to yell at him... because I was going to ask to have some of them...


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

You know you are obsessed with Transformers when…..

-You hug every yellow vehicle thinking its Bumblebee.
-You suspect every semi truck with flames is Optimus Prime,
-You name your green Jeep Hound
-You don’t trust black cop cars for fear that it is Barricade.
-You constantly wait for things to crash from Decepticon attack.
-You cannot look at a boombox the same anymore.
-You used to hate technology and now you love it.
-You have read every bit of fan information to see what is going to happen in TF 2.
-You see the title Deception and think Decepticon.
-You mistake Auto body Repair with Autobot Repair.
-Radio Controlled robots are no longer good enough for you.
-You go to the Hoover dam to make sure Megatron is nice and safe in layers of ice.
-You write your congressmen and senators asking to stop Sector 7 funding.
-You start fights with Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter fans and state a 200-page thesis why the Transformers are better then pirates and wizards.
-You know more about the Transformers then the actors themselves.
-You get an Autobot tattoo.
-You get a Decepticon tattoo.
-You see an ambulance and think it is Ratchet.
-You claim one of the NASCAR’s is actually Hot Rod in disguise.
-You state that Jenny (XJ9) is sucky in comparison to Arcee.
-You know each song ever used in TF.
-You think Stan Bush is hiding secrets to the locations of real TF’s.
-You think Darth Vader is a wuss and Megatron is the real Lord of the Sith.
-You want to join the Air Force or Navy just to fly a F-22 or F-15 or F-16.
-You write an essay for school about what you want to grow up to be and you say you want to be an Autobot when you grow up.
-You call the White House and suggest sending Scorponok to Iraq to end the war.
-You are a scientist and want to be called Dr. Jetfire, or Dr. Starscream, or Dr. Preceptor.
-You are known as General Jazz.
-You call your gun Ironhide.
-You claim that the train you took last year was Astrotrain.
-You are a boy and change your name to Sam, Spike, or Sparkplug.
-You are a girl and change your name to Carly or Michaela or Maggie.
-You own every DVD, VHS, and Blu-Ray disk of TF.
-You write your college essays on the show and its mythological parallelisms.
-You pray to God for your very own Bumblebee.
-You pray to Lord Primus instead of God.
-You think your teachers attitude resembles that of Shockwaves.
-You get your parents obsessed with it as well.
-You give people headaches from constant babble on TF theories.
-You start calling all insects; Insecticons.
-You name old cassette tapes after Soundwaves.
-You cannot hear the word blackout without thinking of Blackout.
-You start trying to talk like Blurr.
-You name your other green Jeep Brawn.
-You say you are the real Prime.
-You start allegiances at your school and cause a school wide war with the other side for power over the playground.
-You think your teachers are really Decepticons in pretender shells.
-You use Jetfire as a source for a science paper.
-You cannot call construction machines by their proper name. And you start calling them by Constructicon names.
-You think all UFO’s are Cosmos.
-You go to a museum on natural history and call the dinosaurs by dinobot names.
-You call your twin brothers Frenzy and Rumble.
-You start comparing Real political figures with Decepticons and Autobots.
-You run for class president under the saying “Peace through tyranny.”
--or You run for class president under the saying “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”
-You separate your family by fraction and sub-group.
-You used to hate the color yellow and now love it.
-You are a boy and wear pink to advertise Arcee for TF2.
-You call Nasa and give them suggestions on improving technology based on Transformers designs.
-You look at a map of astronomy and try to locate planet Junk or Cybertron.
-You play Prowl vs Barricade instead of Good cop vs Bad cop.
-You think Decepticons caused the California forest fires.
-You claim every earthquake is caused by Rumble.
-You claim the oil crisis is caused by Megatron wanting Energon.
-You have reoccurring dreams where you are a Transformer.
-You tell your physics teacher he/she is full of it and that the Transformers have proved that you can travel faster then speed of light is a possibility.
-You covered your walls with TF pics.
-You call your computer Teletran one.
-You have the TF 2008 Calendar up on your wall and it is just 2007.
-You are over the age 16 and still want Transformers bedding.
-You want to collect the Dreamwave Comics even thought they went bankrupt and are incomplete stories.
-You do not call electricity; electricity anymore and call it Energon now.
-You refer soda as Energon as well.
-You call your local garbage man Wreck-Gar.
-You build a model of the Ark.
-You also build a model of the Nemesis.
-You then stage battles between your two new models.
-You want to move to Iacon.
-You think your local minister is really a member of the Ancients.
-You try to do Circuit-su.
-You state that Global Warming is really a Great Shutdown of the planet.
-You don’t say WTF anymore you say What the Matrix.
-You call your soul a spark now.
-You think the head of congress is really a Quintessian.
-You try to build a space bridge.
-You think the end of the world will come from Unicron.
-You want Vector Sigma.
-You take to the shooting range to learn how to shoot moving targets. That way you can shoot down Decepticon Seekers.
-You join Transformer fanclubs.
-You own a Transformer related site.
-You are the leader of a Transformers fanbase.
-You need to seek psychiatric help for delusional disorder from transformers induced hallucinations.
-You see anything TF and go fan crazy.
-You want every toy even if it means importing it.
-You want Takaras autograph.
-You want to be a truck driver because you might get to meet Optimus that way.
-You bought the DVD the first day it came out.
-You saw the movie over 25 times.
-You read this entire list
(did not write this)


My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Please pass it on.


BOLD the ones that fit you

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I must be ugly...or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. (... JESUS WAS A BROTHA HOMESKILLET!)

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I love SHOPPING, so i MUST be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be mexican.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

TRANSFORMERS! IF YOU LIKE TRANSFORMERS COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!!

l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/
AUTOBOTS

vs.

l\ .M. /l
\l=V=l/
l\lVl/l
DECEPTICONSI AM AN

l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/

AUTOBOT

Fav Cars/Trucks

Chevrolet Corvette Roadster

Ferrari Enzo

Chevrolet Camaro

Pontiac Firebird

Mitsubishi Eclipse GT

Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4 Spyder

Dodge Demon Roadster

Peugeot 908 RC

Ford Shelby GT500

Spyker C8 Aileron

Zenvo ST1

Ascari KZ1

Bugatti EB110 GT

Bugatti Streamliner

Bugatti Veyron

Cadillac XLR

Citroen C Metisse

Mercedes Benz SLR 722

Peugeot 908 RC

Saleen S7 Twin Turbo

SSC Ultimate Aero

Toyota FT HS

Venturi Fetish

GMC Topkick


Fav Movie Quotes

“I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry

“You a persistent m--f--, Chev Chelios. I'll give you that. They pop you and you just keep getting up?” “I'm the Terminator. “ Orlando and Chev Chelios in Crank

"Charming place. Jack the Ripper live here?" Skinner from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

“Come with me if you want to live.” Kyle Reese from The Terminator

"Say hello to my little friend." Tony Montana from Scarface

"Now why would I try and cheat you out of anything? I need you to get the piece so I can steal it from you later." Lara Croft from Tomb Raider

"At my signal ... unleash hell!" Maximus from Gladiator

"Hasta la vista, baby." The Terminator from Terminator 2: Judgment Day

"AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every m--f-- in the room, accept no substitutes." Ordell Robbie from Jackie Brown

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" The Joker from Batman

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?" Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs

"These are your last words, so make them a prayer." Vinny from Snatch

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum." Nada from They Live

"Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun." Ash from Army of Darkness

“If it bleeds, we can kill it.” Dutch from Predator

“None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.” Rorschach from Watchmen

“I ain't got time to bleed.” Blain from Predator

"Are you going to shoot me?" "No, I'm not going to shoot" "Don't point a gun at me if you're not going to shoot, it's insincere." Gene and Gunman from Heist

“If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions” Jules from Pulp Fiction

“We have guns.” “No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing, because if I am... you'll all be dead before you'll reloaded” Creedy and V from V for Vendetta

“Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f-- with? That's me.” Walt Kowalski from Gran Torino

“Shall I terminate?” Ironhide from Transformers

“Why doesn't my little bunny hop in the back seat?” “God, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny.” Trent and Mikaela from Transformers

“Kinda like the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from hell, huh?” Simmons from Transformers

“Wow, that was tingly! You gotta try that!” “Yeah, that looks fun.” Ratchet and Ironhide from Transformers

“Permission to speak, sir?” Bumblebee from Transformers

“You already know your guardian: Bumblebee.” “Check on the rep, yep/Second to none!” Optimus and Bumblebee from Transformers

“I will count to five.” “Well I’m gonna count to three.” Simmons and Lennox from Transformers

“Wunderbar!”, he exclaimed with great relish.” - Ace Ventura from When Nature Calls

Funny Quotes

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

If you die I'll find a way to bring you back and kill you myself

Normal people worry me

Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught

Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE

I reject your reality and substitute it with my own - Adam, Myth Busters

The early bird my get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

It's mind over matter I don't mind ‘cause you don't matter

I went insane and all I got was this stupid jacket

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

I didn't create sin, I've just perfected it.

Join the Dark side, We've got Cookies!

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?

I only love two people and your not one of them

I’m a cold and heartless bitch, but I’m damn good at it

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

Show me a sane man and I’ll cure him for you.

Thank you for visiting reality, come again, … Now entering your life, Welcome

I know a thousand ways to always say the wrong thing.

They say the truth will set you free, then, how come every time I say the truth I get sent to my room?

I’m already imagining duck tape over your mouth.

Until I was 13 I thought my name was shut up.

When you find yourself with out a friend in the world you know you have succeeded.

I’ve already won so shut up and bow before me.

I’m smarter, stronger, and older than you so show some respect.

I KNOW A SONG THAT GET’S ON EVREYBODYS NERVES, EVREYBODYS NERVES,EVERYBODYS NERVES…

I see stupid people and they don’t know they’re stupid.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives me lemons, I squirt lemon juice in life’s eyes.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice with them, then sit back and let the world wonder how in the seven hells you did it.

Don’t think of it as ditching school, think of it as a self approved field trip

When you fall, I'll laugh

When the world fall to chaos, you'll know I won

A friend will tell you he's not worth it. A best friend will call him and tell him he has 7 day's to live.

A friend will tell you he's not worth it. A best friend will walk up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a Bitch. All that matters is whose Bitch you are.

Common sense is such a rarity in guys it’s a God-forsaken superpower.

I dare to be different. I like to be unique. ‘Cause I know I’m cool when people call me a freak!

Just when you thought you were the center of attention - I showed up!

You and your girls might turn heads, but Me and mine, we break their necks!

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll.

When people you don’t even know hate you, you know you’re the best. That’s why I love my Haters.

I’m not done yet. Hell, I’m just getting started!

Imperfection Is Beauty. Madness is Genius. And it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely stupid.

I’m a wishful thinker with the worst intentions!

Love me or Hate me - either way I’m on your mind!

I rock your style just to make it hotter!

If God wanted me to fit in, He would have made me a clone.

I reject your reality and substitute it with my own!

I didn’t create Sin - but I’m pretty good at it!


Visual Aids

For Mav's hair braided, think Evy's hair braided, but longer and black.

For Mav's hair loose, http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefiejones/2339631389/, just longer, less fancy, more messy.

http: //armychick69.deviantart.com/favorites/#d1lddfr for the pic mentioned in 'What You Want?'

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Guidelines for living with Robots! by Tatyana Witwicky reviews
Want to live with Giant Alien Robots? But don't know how? Here is a simple guidebook/rulebook to help you!
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 31,420 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 12/2/2009
Things Sam And Will Are Not Allowed by mecha-hunter reviews
The Autobot's and Decepticon's have much to learn about the two human's named Sam and Will.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 17,197 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Sam W., W. Lennox - Complete
Hilarity by XxXHarleyQuinnXxX reviews
I know it's a little early for an Easter fanfic...but the plot bunnies would let me withhold it til Easter was here...rated t for some minor things....
Batman the Animated Series - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Harley Q., Pamela I. - Complete
Autobot Pranks by DaemonicKitten reviews
Sunny and Sides decide to drive the other Autobots insane the best way they know how. With the help of the Earth's Worldwide Web, they come up with numerous ways to prank them. Poor Autobots. Mostly canon pairings.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 62 - Words: 121,754 - Reviews: 934 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Optimus Prime, Sideswipe - Complete
Baby Got Back by DaemonicKitten reviews
A side one-shot of a prank the Lennox's pull, with a little help, on two very unsuspecting, but very deserving mechs. Loosely related to 'Autobot Pranks'. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,463 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Optimus Prime, Ironhide - Complete
Sulking Gets You Everywhere by The Love Slug reviews
What Swoop wants, Swoop gets. Grimlock says otherwise. But even he can't resist Swoop's sulking. Oneshot drabble.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 606 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Grimlock, Swoop - Complete
Bump in the Backseat by P.A.W.07 reviews
Being the only Decepitcons on Earth makes one an easy target for lurking Autobots if one doesn't blend in real well with the local inhabitants. To bad for Barricade and Frenzy, they blended in a little to well. Perverted themes and jokes, nothing graphic. 07-verse.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,612 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 8/27/2007 - Barricade, Frenzy, Ratchet, Optimus Prime - Complete
A Month In The Life Of Frenzy by Arctic Banana reviews
Ever wonder what Frenzy does in his spare time? Well apparently he writes it all in a diary.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,156 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Complete
Bumblebee Wants To Come Home by LittleMewLugia reviews
When an accident damages Bumblebee's Transformation circuit, Bumblerbee is forced to stay in car form for 24 hours. This wouldn't usually be a problem, until car thieves steal him, and he must somehow escape from them, and make his way back to Sam.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,062 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/28/2007 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Complete
What the Twins did to Ironhide by staringsideways reviews
2007 Movieverse: A random remark from Epps gives Sideswipe an idea. But where was he going to get the mask, and exactly how much sedative do you need to knock out a two ton alien robot? Short and very daft follow on to Collateral Damage.
Transformers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 746 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Complete
In the Still of the Night by Harlot of Loyola reviews
SLASH Dinobot Island. Grimlock, Snarl, Sludge, and Swoop. Fluff.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A New Light reviews
Helen, Pendergast's dear wife, had been the sole source of light in the FBI agents life, and when that light was snuffed out, his world became very black. But will a new sourse of lighht be found? Not a Pen/OS fic. Set between Relicquary and CoC.
Pendergast series - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,626 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 4/17/2011 - A. Pendergast, V. D'Agosta
Time Warp reviews
Trust Evy to find objects that shouldn't be found; especially ones that can mess with time. And if having embarrassing kid stories revealed isnt enough, an old friend of Ardeth's is in danger! Uses Deana's character Safti with permission. Ardeth/OC
Mummy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,749 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/27/2011 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Ardeth B., OíConnell, R.
How Sunstreaker Got His Name reviews
Sun n: a large ball of hot air in space. Streaker n: someone who runs around naked in public. Hmm, well the first part makes sense, but what about that last part? Oneshot
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Sideswipe - Complete
Transformers Karaoke reviews
Warning: Severe Robot Abuse. I'm going to hell for this, I just know it.DISCONTUNIUED Due to lack of time, and interest. Posssible continuation later on.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,444 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 3/13/2010
What You Want? reviews
Swoop and Grimlock have a private moment as mates that is shattered by intruders. Oneshot.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 612 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Grimlock, Swoop - Complete
GtsDG: Behind the Scenes reviews
The maddness the inspired the rules of 'Guidelines to surviving Diego Garcia! DISCONTUNIUED Due to lack of time, interest and reveiws. Posssible continuation later on.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 5/22/2010
Guidelines to surviving Diego Garcia reviews
Previously 'What Not To Do Around The Transformers', a simple guide with rules me and so many others learned the hard way.
Transformers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,805 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/17/2010 - Published: 3/4/2010
Christmas Carols: Transformer Style! reviews
You all know the classics: Jingle Bells, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, and all the rest. Well here they are again - Transformer Style! Enjoy my holiday insanity!
Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 5,371 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Complete
Maverick's Mummy Misadventure reviews
Maverick thought she was just a regular anarchist; she cross-dressed, carried guns, swore, obeyed few people and respected even less. What she didn’t expect was for her rebellion to be the reason she was now helping to kill a 5000 year old mummy! Hiatus
Mummy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,918 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/14/2010 - Published: 12/7/2009 - OíConnell, R., Ardeth B.
Deana (71)