GallagherGoode1113
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Joined 12-08-09, id: 2172890, Profile Updated: 01-03-11
Author has written 3 stories for Gallagher Girls.

Name: Classified

Country: USA cuz im just cool like that :)

I AM A GIRL!!

Age: Classified... (14)

WATCH THIS YOUTUBE VIDIO IT IS HILARIOUS!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l6pPbOVbko

Favorite Series: Gallagher Girls, House of Night, Private, Maximum Ride

Favorite Pairs:

Zammie (Zach and Cammie in Gallagher Girls)

Percabeth (Percy and Annabeth in Percy Jackson)

Zark (Zoey and Stark in House of Night)

Brant (Bex and Grant in Gallagher Girls)

Jiz (Liz and Jonas in Gallagher Girls)

Fax (Max and Fang in Maximum Ride)

EMMETT AND ME!!

My favorite quotes:

"If the heart

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous

is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous

"Did you know that wasn't me, the other Max?" I asked."Yeah.""When?""Right away.""How?" I persisted. "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?"He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. "She offered to cook breakfast."A second later we were laughing so hard it brought tears to my eyes all over again. Fang and I leaned against each other and laughed and laughed, unable to speak, for the longest time.

I agree with the Dictionary:

Girls before Guys

Partying before Studying

Friends before Love

Opposites:

Sun or Moon: Moon

Night or Day: Night

Spotlight or Shadows: Shadow

Cold or Hot: Cold

Loud or Quiet: Loud

Black or White (color not race): Black

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending

. All girls secretly love a guy who can sing.(MEGA-Turn-On)

. Just so you know, girls want to smell you from 10, 6, or even 2 feet away.

Girls HATE players!!

. Most girls would rather cuddle than makeout (unless they're sluts)

We love it when you put your arm around us at the movies.(especially the scary ones)

We don't need you to be Superman. We just need you to be there.

Please, if you really need to talk about your size, use your guy friends, not us.

. Pretty much all girls like to talk about something, so feel free to call us.

.We LOVE suprises, that is , the good ones.

Don't ever try to impress us by cursing or fighing. It doesn't work; you just look like a jerk.

When you pick on the girl you like, she won't think your interested or cool. She'll just think that you're mean. (Ah the logic.. of girls...)

. Every girl wants to feel special, even if its just to you.

.Being able to make your girl laugh = MAJOR brownie points!

.Guitarists = sexy Pianists = sensitivty

We absolutly HATE it when you break a promise to us. It completely devastates us.

.Here's something that girls are tought: When a guy says that you're hot, he's looking at your body. When he says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says that you're beautiful, he's looking at your heart. Remember that when you complement a girl...

. Ask any girl... She'll have no idea what the hell a guy means when he says that she's "cute".

. We can tell when you aren't listening, and, yeah, it kind of pisses us off. If were boring you, at least have the decensy to tell us!

. When we say the we're cold, we either want you to come closer or give us your jacket. Tip: If you really want to impress your girl, hold her tight and put your jacket around her while you're still wearing it. Its amazingly romantic! (as long as you don't grope her)

. Hugs can mean more than kisses sometimes.

. If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect momnet will pass you by. In other words, if you want to ask her out, just do it!

. We'd really appreciate it if you didn't hold the things we do during our time of the month against us. It isn't exactly our fault, and we aren't being ourselves.

.Please give us the same respect you would to any other human and look us in the eyes. (yes we do notice when your eyes wander)

.We want the same respect that you give to other guys, but we really don't want you to treat us like them...(chest bumbs are never ok)

.Never cheat!! Girls know how to spread news fast so you don't just ruin one relationship, you prevent others from happening too.

. When you're on a date with a girl, keep your eyes on her face and off other girls' bodies. That's just rude.

.Not all girls are about money. The one who are give us all a bad name.

. It's weird when you take longer to get ready than we do...

.If you ask us nicely, we'll usually answer in the same way.

. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

. Not all women are bad drivers.

. Not all women are ditzes.

. Anything you say or do with
another girl that you don't want us to know is considered cheating.

. When you say you don't like it when we wear makeup, don't just leave it at that. It helps to tell us why.

. It absolutely floors us when you know our favorite color, shoe size, flower, T.V. show, movie, artist, etc. See, we aren't that hard to please.

. This one may seem weird. We love keeping your hoodies/jackets because: they remind us of you, they smell like you, and it makes us feel like you're there holding us even when you aren't.
. NEVER EVER HIT A GIRL!! Even if she hits you first...it's just wrong.

. When you're dating a girl and you introduce her to your friends, you had better say that she's your girlfriend.

. When it comes to gifts, we'd prefer something that has meaning rather than something with a big pricetag.

. The best thing that you can be to any girl is her friend. Friendship always comes before any good romantic relationship.

. Have I metioned that we like respect?

All girls want to be told I LOVE YOU now and then and possibly whisper it in her ear when you are having a moment.

. Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means she's attracted to you, but she's afraid that she'll be showing too much.

. When you calm a girl down (and believe me, you will need to do this someday), try your hardest to make her laugh, but never make her feel stupid for being so worked up in the first place.

If you go through our purse, you probably won't like what you see. So please don't even bother going through it or you will get bitch slapped.

. Keep in mind that pretty much every girl has a group of guys(friends, brothers and her Daddy) who will beat the crap out of you if cross the line.

. Girls dont like show-offs. Just be yourself we'll like you better that way and if a girl dosent like the real you she's not worth your time.

. Face it. Girls really aren't impressed when you spend the whole day showing off your muscles...

. When shes upset hold her and tell her she'll be fine even if she says it wont, convince her it will be.

. Don't disrespect her in ANYWAY.

. Now and again flatter her with compliments.

. Also if shes gettin hurt in anyway stand up for her dont stand and watch her get her shes your girlfriend for fudg

. Also if shes gettin hurt in anyway stand up for her dont stand and watch her get her shes your girlfriend for fudge sake!!

. Don't think that just because you didn't tell us we are never going to find out.

Our friends know EVERYTHING.

. EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Garranteed.

No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts, then worry if you haven't.

The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

. When we're not talking to you on MSN, we're actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

. When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

. Our favourite part of the MSN convo is at the end when you say good bye, because that's the part you say you love us.

. We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentines Day.

. We don't care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

Yes, you might be the reason we failed that Maths test.

We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

. We don't care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

. Of course, we do believe the crap we read in magazines.

We have mood swings. Get over it.

. Everytime you're around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

. We don't want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbour/best gal friend is.

. Movies like 'He's Just Not That Into You' depress us.

. We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

. We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

. We hate it when you go to discos without us.

We hate feeling as if we are like any other girl.

. Don't brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

. When we say everything is 'fine', it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces.

. Don't just say 'ok' when we say we don't want to talk about it.

. If you want to know something about us, ask our best friend.

. If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

. We think you are the best guy in the world.

We.Will.Kill.You.If.We.See.You.Slow.Dancing.With.Another.Girl.Without.Telling.Us.

We really do want you to stick up for us.

. Compliments. We love them.

. Be on time. We will think you don't care if you're not on time at a certain place.

Whether you say (L) or luv or love does matter.

. We don't care if you couldn't come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don't lie to us.

. We like cuddling up to you so let us.

. Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

. You will be classed in our 'Hate' list if you forget our birthday.

. Do not ask what's wrong. We'll never tell you we just want you to cuddle us.

. You need to tell us what you think of us, we don't make assumptions (apart from 'OMG HE'S GONE OFF ME HASN'T HE?!')

. Telling us that we are pretty will mean absolute LOADS.

. Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

If you do end up doing Number 42, you just have to hope we aren't in a bad mood.

. Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

. We never forget things. Ever.

We over-analyze everything.We over-react to everything.When we are mad at you, we aren't actually mad at you we just want you to apologize so we can start showing we like you again.

Please don't stand 384931491329403 feet away from us. Even if we are scary.

. Please acknowledge that when we are online when you sign in, we probably have waited ages for you to come online so please make it worthwhile.

. We do not care if 50 000 other guys declared their love for us if you never do it none of it matters.

. We don't like being used.

. We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

We usually don't let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, damnnn you must have done something bad...

. This is the way it works: You don't give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don't give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

. Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

. When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

And please for the love of god shut up about how fit other girls are. You know we like you and the fact you do this despite you knowing how we feel is just evil.

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.
When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she ignores you, give her your attention.

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared, protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

Don't let her have the last word.

Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

Argue that she is the best girl ever.

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

Let her into your world.

Let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too

. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!

. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your ass if you end up hurting her.

. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.

. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.

. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.

. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.

. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.

. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.

. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.

. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.

. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea

. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says youre gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.

. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.

. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her.

. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking...

. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

. Guys who play sports are hot. They build muscle, and no matter what we will be at all of your games.

. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

. But don't be obssessive. Major turn-off.

. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

. BE HONEST!

. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.
. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

. Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.

. We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.

. We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.

. We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.

. Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).

As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality, the first thing girls look at tends to be looks. We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true.

. If we love you, and youre hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.

. We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.

. Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.

If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.

We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.

. We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.

(77). When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.

. If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.

Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.

. Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.

. If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.

. Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.

. We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad…

. Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.

. We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are bitches, no matter what you may think. we feel bad rejecting you

ok, so some girls are bitches and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. better?

. If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.

. It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.

. If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.

. After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.

. Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.

. Not all blondes are b!tches. Some are cool.

Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.

. In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.

. Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.

. We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :

. If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.

. If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.

. Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth…… sometimes

. If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.

. Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.

. Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things for granted.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a pack of waterballons:
Children under 8 years can choke or suffocate or broken ballons.
(So if i'm older 8 i won't choke.)

You

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

Or are planning to do any of these things


I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then

KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and

put his hands around my waist and

give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

And we'd make out in the pouring rain.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,

and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years

and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night

just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,

who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one.

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

"Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed."

"Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies or TV shows. If you agree, copy and paste.

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Cheese. milk's leap toward immortality.

Lifes Tough, get a helmet.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? (lethal= deadly if you didn't know)

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You know something sad I know more about Harry Potter than American History.

"In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day."- Percy Jackson

"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."

"If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself."

"She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.
Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."

"I am never, ever, going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it."

“You idiot” Annabeth said, which was how I knew she was overjoyed to see me conscious.

“It’s stopped raining.” “It’s been known to do that”

“That looks like the crucible.” “That is the crucible.”

"wheat, oat and alfafa."

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"

Be yourself & I promise people will enjoy it; & if they don’t forget them.

Giving up doesn’t always mean your weak sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

Out side of a dog a book is a mans best friend. Inside a dog it’s to dark to read

I wasn’t sure where the Latin came from but I think I meant “eat my pants”- Percy Jackson

We do not use the “C” word to describe the lord of the sky.

Your nuts Grover” “yeah, nuts and berries”

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving”

Be who you want to be not what others want you to see.

The truth will always set you free but it won’t always make you happy

If one can not enjoy reading a book over and over again then there is no use reading it at all.

“Your back”, she had shouted, “and your short again.”

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignore's you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world

Let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

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> > >> COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT> > >>> > >>>>> > >>> >

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: will let you dance with your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: will scream " NO! You can’t have her, she’s mine!"

FRIENDS: when you cry, will ask what’s wrong
BEST FRIENDS: would have already killed the person who made you cry

FRIENDS: are inseparable
BEST FRIENDS: can stay separated and nothing changes

FRIENDS: will ask what’s wrong when your crying
BEST FRIENDS: will already know your sad when you show no face expression

FRIENDS: asks for something to eat
BEST FRIENDS: eats all the food and says, "what’s for dinner?"

FRIENDS: calls your parents "Mr. and Mrs."
BEST FRIENDS: calls your parents "mom and dad"

FRIENDS: will ask you for a piece of your sandwich.
BEST FRIENDS: will take it and eat it all without you realizing it.

FRIENDS: will help you up when you trip
BEST FRIENDS: will trip you again a few minutes later

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: will be sitting beside you say " Damn that was fun!"

FRIENDS: says...hi...hello...bye…and walks away…
BEST FRIENDS: always stops by your side & asks how are you doing??

FRIENDS: has never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: has a shoulder soggy from your tears.

FRIENDS: thinks the friendship is over, when you have an argument.
BEST FRIENDS: knows that it’s not a friendship, until after you’ve had a fight.

FRIENDS: hates it when you call, after he has gone to bed.
BEST FRIENDS: asks you why you took so long to call.

FRIEND: when visiting, acts like a guest.
BEST FRIENDS: opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

FRIENDS: wonders of your love story…
BEST FRIENDS: are jealous about your romantic history

FRIENDS: expect you to be always there for any help.
BEST FRINDS: is always there, wherever you require any help

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butts that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: will kidnap the band with you.

FRIENDS: will help you find the way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.

FRIENDS: will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: won't let you go away

FRIEND: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it, it’s on speed dial)

FRIENDS: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
BEST FRIENDS: has a closet full of your stuff

FRIENDS: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
BEST FRIENDS: will always go with you.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

Some "Advice":

-Human weakness cannot be avoided. Perfection is impossible.

-Everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to decide who's worth the pain.

-Sincerity is one of the simplest yet deepest words that could touch one's heart.

-Life is the longest journey you'll ever go through. Make it worth while.

-Even the slightest flicker of candle light can scare away the deepest darkness. (got this one from Denad)

-“When one is truly in love, one not only says it, but shows it.” (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. (Jawaharal Nehru)

After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box. (Italian Proverb)

-I have suffered defeat, pain, loss, still I push to the edge, never falter. For this cements my beliefs, I'll remain my own master. (Found this on a forum somewhere so credit goes to whoever made it up 'cause it sure as hell wasn't me!)

Favorite Quotes

"For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate." - President Barack Obama

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends--hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism--these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths." -President Obama

Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.-Maximum Ride:The Angel Experiment

"Max, I just wanted to become a part of your becoming..." -Anne "Part of my becoming? Congratulations. You're part of my becoming pissed off." -Max (School's Out Forever)

Gazzy-"I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed. Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.

"You were designed to be very smart, Max. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
"And yet I still can't program my DVD player."
-Maximum Ride

'I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer' -Maximum Ride

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. -Maximum Ride

At that moment, I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall. -Max when Fang kisses her (whoo FAX!) in the cave (Saving the World & Other Extreme Sports)

"I choose you, Max" -Fang (MAX, MR5)

This is my brain: O This is my brain after making out with Fang: . It's very sad. - Max

He's your soulmate. - The Voice to Max about Fang (I seriously started laughing like a maniac at this line.)

"Um, it's still a really neat gun, though," he said. "And did you know-if you stick a spring from a clothespin right under the safety when it's in the left-hand mode, then pull the trigger, it'll explode about two-point-nine seconds later? I mean throw it first." -Gazzy "Sometimes two-point-seven seconds. Don't dawdle." -Iggy

"If you don't put your tongue back in your mouth, I'll personally make sure it goes into mine." -Uchiha Sasuke from Biohazard, CrAzY-SiLLy-Me

"When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade; then you find someone whose life has given them vodka, and you have a party!" - Ron White

"This hostage stuff is fun!" -Alice Cullen

"I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break through the furniture." - Bella Swan

"Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it." -Edward Cullen

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV." - Jacob Black

"I was just wondeing why you stabbed him. Not that I object." - Edward

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof." - Bella

"I wasn't interesting and he was interesting...and brilliant...and perfect...and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand." - Bella

" I considered taking out the rear end of his shiny Volvo but there were too many witnesses." - Bella

"Afraid of a needle. Oh a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV on the other hand..." - Edward

"You nicknamed my baby after the LOCH NESS MONSTER?!" - Bella Cullen :D

Random Phrases, Quotes, or Questions:

~Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,Satan shudders & says..'Oh shit...she's awake' - (Powerful Women's Motto)

~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

~It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

~You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

~When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

~When you're down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

~You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did.

~Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

~It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

~There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

~Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

~One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

~If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

~You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

~Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot.

~A friend is the best weapon you can have in a battlefield.

~Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days."

~Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

~Lets flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we'll flip again.

~Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

~Why are the Force and duct tape the same? Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

~Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

~Procrastination isn't the problem; its the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off!

~We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60. (If you don't get this, I'm sorry for you.)

~A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again.

~A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

~Don't run in the halls, gliding is more fun!

~Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you.

~If at first you don't succees, redefine success.

~If it works, rip it apart and find out why.

~If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

~There are very few personal problems that can't be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

~Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge.

~It's people like you that make people like me need medication.

~Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

~People say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

~When in life you fall down, do not look for the problem where you landed. Look for the problem at where you tripped.~Ancient African Proverb

~Courage is not the absence of fear. No, courage is the realization that there is something you find more horrible than fear.-Unknown

~364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

~Fear can prevent people from making the hugest mistake of their lives...but it also can prevent them from making the best choice.

~It is not a human’s power that rules the world; it is a human power that destroys it.

~If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

~Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

~I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

~You are too sarcastic for your own good!!

~God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.


Find the guy...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
the one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!


Fang: 2 avian, 98 human, 100 hot!

IF YOUR PRIDE GETS IN THE WAY OF YOUR DECISIONS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy this into your profile.

If you freaked out when Fang was kissing Max, copy and paste this on your profile. (Should be obvious why if you've already read the pairings I support.)

If you are jealous of Max for kissing the almighty (and handsome) Fang, copy and paste this on your profile. (Only a little because who wouldn't want to kiss Fang?!)

If you think Fang and Max are meant to be, copy and paste this on your profile. (Hello! It's me! Of course I think FAX is not an option, but a fact of life and that if it doesn't happen, the world will come to a horrible end. ;- )

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. (I WILL RULE THE WORLD! MWAH HAA HAA HA! -clears throat- I mean...uh. -shifty eyes-)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time...That doesn't mean I'm crazy.)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you got MR4 the day it came out, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you finished MR4 in under 12 hours, copy and paste this in your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. (I used to be obsessed with the TV show Friends. I haven't watched it in a while, but I bet I could still get the lines right.)

If you know someone who has died from, has, had, (or you have) cancer, copy and paste this in your profile to support the fact that there are people we care about hurting and we care about them and believe there should be a cure.

Some copy and pastes...

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

You know you live in 2010 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take My Space ( go Facebook!) pics.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/Live Journal/My Space.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.

13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur profile

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

Well, I guess I'm a best friend. Are you?

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go

Why I think 99% of boys are stupid:
1. I know so.

2. When they like a girl, they are mean to her. What's up with that!!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

My friends used to be simi-normal. Then they met me.

Dresses aren't my thing. But then again... who's thing are they??

Don't point a finger at anyone, cause 3 more are pointing back at you. Try pointing your finger and 3 of your fingers are pointing back at you. Now you are laughing cause you tried this and look stupid for pointing your finger at a wall.

Just because I fall don't make fun of me. (even though I don't care.)

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Just because I say something in quiet times, doesn't make me weird. Laughing about it does.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. That's right!! Girls are strong!!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Care to join us?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

I worry about you some days. Then again, I worry about myself lots of days!!

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I won't get the joke today. But don't worry. Tomorrow it will be funny.

I was going to take over the world but got distracted by something sparkly. :)

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love!!

My List of Cool Phobias (arranged in alphabetical order, not in accordance to awesomeness)

Acerophobia - Fear of sourness.

Alliumphobia - Fear of garlic.

Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions.

Amathophobia - Fear of dust.

Anablephobia - Fear of looking up.

Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.

Anuptaphobia - Fear of staying single.

Apeirophobia - Fear of infinity.

Arachibutyrophobia (My absolute favorite) - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Asymmetriphobia - Fear of asymmetrical things.

Aulophobia - Fear of flutes.

Aurophobia - Fear of gold.

Auroraphobia - Fear of the Northern lights.

Barophobia - Fear of gravity.

Blennophobia - Fear of slime.

Botanophobia - Fear of plants.

Bufonophobia - Fear of toads.

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.

Carnophobia - Fear of meat.

Cathisophobia - Fear of sitting.

Chaetophobia - Fear of hair.

Chirophobia - Fear of hands.

Chromophobia - Fear of colors.

Cronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.

Climacophobia - Fear of stairs, climbing stairs, or falling down stairs.

Cometophobia - Fear of comets.

Consecotaleophobia - Fear of chopsticks.

Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.

Crystallophobia - Fear of crystals.

Decidophobia - Fear of making decisions.

Deipnophobia - Fear of dining or dinner conversations.

Dextrophobia - Fear of objects at the right side of the body.

Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of going to school.

Dikephobia - Fear of justice.

Doxophobia - Fear of expressing opinions or receiving praise.

Dromophobia - Fear of crossing streets.

Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.

Epistaxiophobia - Fear of nosebleeds.

Epistemophobia - Fear of knowledge.

Ereuthrophobia - Fear of blushing.

Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news.

Geliophobia - Fear of laughter.

Geniophobia - Fear of chins.

Genuphobia - Fear of knees.

Gephyrophobia - Fear of crossing bridges.

Geumaphobia - Fear of taste.

Hellenologophobia - Fear of Greek terms of complex scientific terminology.

Homichlophobia - Fear of fog.

Hyelophobia - Fear of glass.

Ideophobia - Fear of ideas.

Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.

Kyphophobia - Fear of stooping.

Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables.

Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.

Levophobia - Fear of things to the left side of the body.

Linonophobia - Fear of string.

Logophobia - Fear of words.

Lutraphobia - Fear of otters.

Macrophobia - Fear of long waits.

Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.

Metallophobia - Fear of metal.

Meteorophobia - Fear of meteors.

Metrophobia - Fear of poetry.

Mnemophobia - Fear of memories.

Mottephobia - Fear of moths.

Mycophobia - Fear of mushrooms.

Mythophobia - Fear of myths or stories of false statements.

Nomatophobia - Fear of names.

Novercaphobia - Fear of your step-mother.

Nyctohylophobia - Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night.

Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.

Olfactophobia - Fear of smells.

Ombrophobia - Fear of rain or being rained on.

Ommetaphobia - Fear of eyes.

Omphalophobia - Fear of belly buttons.

Oneirophobia - Fear of dreams.

Opthalmophobia - Fear of being stared at.

Optophobia - Fear of opening one's eyes.

Ostraconophobia - Fear of shellfish.

Panophobia - Fear of everything.

Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.

Pedophobia - Fear of children.

Phengophobia - Fear of daylight or sunshine.

Philemaphobia - Fear of kissing.

Philophobia - Fear of falling in love or being in love.

Philosophobia - Fear of philosophy.

Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.

Phronemophobia - Fear of thinking.

Pogonophobia - Fear of beards.

Politicophobia - Fear of politicians.

Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.

Prosophobia - Fear of progress.

Pteronophobia (My absolute second favorite)- Fear of being tickled by feathers.

Ranidaphobia - Fear of frogs.

Scriptophobia - Fear of writing in public.

Sesquipedalophobia - Fear of longs words.

Textophobia - Fear of certain fabrics.

Triskaidekaphobia - Fear of the number 13

Vitricophobia - Fear of your step-father.

Xanthophobia - Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.

Zemmiphobia - Fear of the great mole rat.

If you act random most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are sugar high most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile

If you ever fallen over laughing for no reason cut and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted copy and paste this on your profile.

If you talk back to the TV cut and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever want to be a cat copy and paste this into your profile

If you think energy drinks are bad for you because they make you spazz out, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you guys love to read, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you like the outdoors, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped, got up, and then fell right back down, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you adore pandas, copy this into you profile.

If you're friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a glass door, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been asked your age and you said the age that you were a year ago, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know at least 8 different types of cats, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

You ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the poor leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this into your profile.

If you love Percy Jackson with all your HEART and SOUL, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish you could have Percy but still be friends with Annabeth, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Percy Jackson is HOT AS HELL, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Nico di Angelo is insanely hot but not quite as hot as Percy, copy and past this into your profile.

If you realized that Percy Jackson forgot his name twice within one year, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you noticed that Percy always singes his arm hair off, and wonder how he has time to grow it back, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wonder why Athena gave Annabeth a Yankees cap when she lives in Virginia, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Percabeth, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Prachel, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Silendorf, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Groviper, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Silena Beauregard died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Beckendorf died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wonder what god Percy would have been had he taken up Zeus's offer, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!"

ok soo whoever wrote this?? is freaking awesome!! haha i luv PJO!!

The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

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Love Means Facing Your Biggest Fears, And Trusting by A Runner At Heart reviews
After a tragic event, Cammie moves back to Virginia from California, where she meets a certain Green-Eyed-Boy. The past comes back, and love sparks up. But soon, the truth come out, and Cammie and the gang are out searching for answers, answers she may or may not like. ZAMMIE! No spies! All normal! Full summary inside!
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 44,232 - Reviews: 990 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 7/31/2012 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Cammie M., Zach G. - Complete
Remember Cinderella? by gallaghergirl23 reviews
Cammie lives with Joe and has never met her parents or been to Gallagher. Joe sends Zach to kidnap Cammie from her normal life and bring her to Blackthorne. SEQUEL COMING SOON! :
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 60 - Words: 24,675 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Cammie M., Zach G. - Complete
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The Mission That Started It All reviews
What happens when 4 Blackthorne boys go to Galllagher over christmas break with 4 Gallagher Girls?
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,932 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Cammie M., Zach G.
WARNING: ZACH WILL DIE reviews
I REALLY DO LOVE ZACH IM JUST DEPRESSED. READ MY AN FIRST
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 220 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Zach G., Cammie M. - Complete
Growing UP reviews
This starts when Cammie, Zach, Bex, Liz, Macey, Grant, and Jonas are all ten years old and do not attend Gallagher/ Blackthorne yet, but they know all about spys and what not. Much better than it sounds I hope
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,704 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 1/24/2010