TonksCullen
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Joined 12-16-09, id: 2181426, Profile Updated: 03-04-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

HI everyone!

Just in case your wondering, heres a bit...

About Me:

Names Niamh

I'm 12, in yr 8.

And funny.

I post WHEN I CAN AND WANT TO this can be difficult sometimes.

I like reading,writing
books, movies, music and art.
Am Bisexual
Love chocolate to much.

And I'm surprisingly good at dancing like everyone does at partys now.

My Gaia:
Mention fanfic to become a friend.


Snippets from my crazy everyday life:

Telling BFF I'm Bi:
Me:
I'm Bi.
BFF: Runs 50m away and has mini spaz attack.
Me:
That went better then I thought it would.

Sitting in Math:
Me: You
look like a goldfish.
Mathew: Thats nice.
Me: Your name is so gonna be goldfish from now on!
Goldfish: Dammit!


I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, amy.twi.fan,TonksCullen,


I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

Shoes can change your life just ask Cinderella.

My friends are the type that would spend hours trying to drown a fish.

So there is this thing called retardedness and me and my girls have gone pro.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tryed slamming a revolving door.

My mother told me not to talk to strange people i never talk to myself any more.

Remember that the titanic was built by professionals and the ark was built by ametures.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Friends will lend you an umbrella when it rains but a best friend will steal yours and yell run Bitch run.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isnt it."

Go ahead and rain on my parade i have a really cool umbrella.

Dont frown when you are sad because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Lifes to short to blend in.

The next time you think you are perfect try walking on water.

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to stop its about going out there and daincing in the rain.

Diamonds are pretty and so are pearls but nothing is more pretty than me and my girls.

Parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to walk and talk and for the rest of it they tell you to sit down and shut up.

We were given 2 hands to hold, 2 legs to walk, 2 eyes to see. but why only 1 heart? because the other one was given to someone else for us to find.

One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

God created men first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

Guys are like slinkies...it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs.

Our eyes are placed in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Jasper Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"One day your life will flash before your eyes, so make sure that it's worth watching."

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh.(I must have GREAT friends then! lol)

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door. (I HAVE!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! (I don't get this perk, my school is carpeted and without halls.)

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. (So true...)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. (I know mine do!)

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm. (Yep, totally is.)

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin

"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-
Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together!

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (And now he won't give them back!)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind- Dr.Suess

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. (Hmm, let’s see, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking dawn only took 10hrs, Harry Potter 1-7, and many many others.)

If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways. (Especially the double chocolate ones, mmm.)

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

"Never hire a colorblind electrician."

"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it." (I'm really good.)

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." (I picture Emmett every time I read this...)

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them. (It works 99percent of the time! :-)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography. (Sad, but true.)

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. (I know it's me.)

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? (I REALLY like that idea.)

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. (I apparently believe in making vampires do incredibly stupid stuff.)

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

SARCASM is just another free service I offer.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter. (I firmly believe this, I mean I get straight A's in school and I very rarely show up.)

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls. (I actually do...)

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?

Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I love my computer, because my friends live in it.

I'm the person your mother warned you about. (Believe it or not that's true to a degree)

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

You are the piss to my pants.

Be kind to a stranger, coz you'll never know; it just might be an angel, knocking at your door.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Well, sorry just doesn't cut it...scissors do.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

It doesn’t mater if you win or lose, but it matters if I win or lose.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. (Same is true for sane thoughts)

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. (I'm my BFF's weirdo, and she is mine!)

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying

Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it.

There is always a light at the end of a tunnel; just pray it isn’t a train.

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so whats the point of practicing?

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

I’ve got a problem for your solution.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. (grins evilly)

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.

If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing.

I’d rather be pissed off than be pissed on.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humour.

It is no accident that ‘stressed’ spelled backward is ‘desserts’.

I’m not sleeping. I’m just looking at the insides of my eyelids. (Teachers do no fall for that one)

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper – long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong time.

Hear no evil. See no evil. Make some evil.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile (I did this when I went to public school, I got A LOT of weird looks, not that it was really any different from any other day in that sense though...)

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (At least I don't think I have...)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Almost every night...)

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile (My friends laugh at me for it)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song ~I hate you, you hate me, let’s chase Barney up a tree ect.-Personally, I like this version better~ to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile. (ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME!)

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

Amazing you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

My mind not only wanders sometimes it leaves completely!

Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today!

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

Esme Cullen: Sweeter than you since 1800s

Carlisle Cullen: Smarter than you since 1640

Never argue with an idiot. The drag you down to their own level and then beat you with experience.

Forget Princess I want to be a vampire!

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."

"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling?!"

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends.

I'm not afriad of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

The best things in life are unseen. That's why we colse our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who never will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea.

Growing old is mandatory...but growing up my friends, well that is optional.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I am who I am & sweetie I dont need your approval no matter how important yo u think it is...

If it wasnt for the last minute nothing would ever get done.

I eat peanut butter straight from the jar, prefer bear hugs to air kisses,sing along to cheesey songs and believe in second chances.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

Don't regret anything that made you smile because it made you happy even if things are different now it was worth it at the time.

It doesn't matter who you were a decade ago, a year ago, or even yesterday ... what matters is who you are today, and will be tomorrow!

FROM THE DESK OF TOTO - Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz...took the shoes...find your own way home. Love, Toto.

If you let your past disrupt your present you won't have any future.

They lied... Hard work has killed plenty of people.

Life was easier when making decisions was solved by a mood ring, doing rock,paper,scissors or shaking an 8 ball.

I know Jacob Black is fake... but Taylor Lautner is 100 REAL! :P

A Twilight Rehab center opened next door... Dont worry it is made of wood so it will burn quickly =)

I got paper cut yesterday but I got depressed because I waited the whole day but Jasper still didnt bite me =(

I keep trying to kidnapp Jasper but Alice is always there waiting for me. How does she kn...Oh Yeah

You may be my best friend but if zombies are chasing us I will trip you... But if the Cullens are chasing us feel free to trip me!

Team Alice because she can predict the shuffle on her I-pod =)

Save Gas drive like a Cullen

In my mind Jasper is my boyfriend, Alice is my best friend, Emmett is the big brother i never had and Jacob..well... hes around if i get cold!

"I know what you are, pale white and ice cold" "Say it, out loud" "Ice cream cake!"

Guys... don't take your girl to see new moon... u wont get any attention... u would just get jealous coz shes drooling over the guys on screen XD

Whoever wrecked Midnight Sun should have the Volturi sent to their house... And the wives!

Isnt the Harry Potter Story a little far fetched... I can believe the magic and the unicorns but a ginger kid with 2 mates that would never happen!

I can speak only casual Parsel Tounge... Its not much but I know all the basics... "Wheres the bathroom" "Open the chamber of secrets" that kind of stuff...

A tiger says "When I roar the whole Jungle shakes" The lion said "When I roar the whole of South America is scared" The pig said "When I sneeze the whole world craps themsleves.

My friends are the type who can turn even the most innocent conversation into something dirty...

Hasabrokenspacebardammit...

Im not fat I am just allergic to your perfume so everytime you are near me I swell up.

I always get my relatives petrol soaked fake mostaches. Its so much funto see their faces light up... =)

Females are tempermental thats 90 temper and 10 mental

What do you call a man who is kind, intelligent and considerate as well as strong and sexy?? A Cullen =)

I may look like a cute freckle faced country girl but there is a darkness inside me so if you want to piss me off make sure you plan your funeral first...

Anything you say I can and will associate with Twilight! (Me and my friend have been trying this she hasnt go tme yet I got her in like 5 minutes)

Roses are red violets are gold now get of your but and do what you are told!

I warn you the shit you hear about me could be true but then again it may be just as fake as the BITCH who told you!

If you have something to say say it to my face so that I can slap you for it.

Sweetie- You might be two faced but PLEASE at least make one of them pretty...

I can read minds... I know what you are doing... Wait its coming to me... Your on Fan-Fiction aint ya... See told you I knew...

I went and saw New Moon... Everybody hooted and hollered when Jacob Black took off his shirt ... When Edward did you could hear a pin drop...

Dear Santa this year instead of a puppy I want a super hot werewolf with a six pack named Jacob, Paul or Seth...

I had a life but FanFiction ate it... =P

Well paint me yellow and call me Big Bird!

Not all flowers say love but a rose does. Not all plants can survive thirst but a cactus can. Not all retards can read but look at you go!

Why is it that if a stranger falls you ask if they are ok but when it is your friend you laugh your ass off...

After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF


Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

██ 10 Different
███ 20 Bored
████ 30 Awsome
█████ 40 Vampire
██████ 50 Quiet
███████ 60 Smart
█████████ 70 Twilight
██████████ 80 Weird
███████████ 90 Fun
█████████████ 100 Random

'I don't, know...'

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires© 0RiGiNAL TWILGIHT FAN

THE CULLENS ARE MY BRAND OF HEROIN!

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder. Put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too!

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Jasper Hale."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."
"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"
"Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Jasper Hale!"

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn at least 3 times. 10 for me
2) You own all above mentioned books.
3) You know that most of your friends will try to bag on Twilight the Movie, but then you'll get defensive and start yelling at them for saying that all the actors/actresses are all wrong and that they will ruin the movie when the actors/actresses don't match their exact mental picture of said character. (LISTEN PEOPLE!! No one will look exactly like your mental image of the Twilight characters, so get over it and quit bagging on the actors/actresses who will do a great job on this movie whether you think so or not!! Please excuse my rant but it needed to be said)
4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6)You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7)You write fanfiction about Twilight.
8)At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.
9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.
10)For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Ecilpse, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 for Breaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best. (I'm debating between Carlisle and Jasper. Carlisle is slightly in the lead though ;D)
17)You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
26) You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27) You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns and the fact that you won't sop trying to explain to them why Twilight is the best book in the world
28) You're keeping track of all the "Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean
29) Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website
30) Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series
31) Your screen saver says something about the Twilight Saga
32) You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
33) You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
34) You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
35) You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
36) You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines
37) You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die
38) You know you're addicted, but you don't care
39)You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco
40) You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter
41)When you found out that you would have to wait to see the Breaking Dawn cover art and first chapter until you got back from a trip where you couldn't even get near a book store when both items came out the day ater you left, you have a mental breakdown
42) When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown
43) You noticed there is no number 25

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.


25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”


Things to think about

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?


Copy&Paste

copy paste ur ass off because you know i wouldent have wasted profile space with it if it wasnt frekin awesome.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF!!

I gotta feeling if I sing this loud enough, that you will sing it back to me!
Sing it back by copy&pasting this onto your profile!!

If you love Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. Thinking it sucks is an understatement for me.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

IF you get called a nickname copy this into your profile and add your name to the list and say your nick name. Stefanlover12 "Robin Hood", -I-Luv-Tugsy "Kayzieboots", pieface01 "lalaki" or "dypie",melaniecullen96 "melo" "water-melon"TonksCullen"Nymph""Neveie""TC",

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever spent hours just thinking about Twilight and alternate situations copy and past this on your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
(coughtwilightcough)

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you have the biggest amount of OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder)-Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

if you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

Paste this into your profile if you are a Procrastination addict.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you agree, that purple bunnies WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you can't wait for Midnight Sun to come out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you love reading really long books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. THE ONLY RACE IS HUMANITY!

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had an unhealthy obsession with any -or all- of the Cullens, copy this onto your profile

If you had a choice between being human or being a vampire, and would choose vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you LOVE reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy this to your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you screamed over watching the Twilight trailers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your dad thinks you're mad for falling in love with a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've told your parents you only want a 911 Porsche Turbo in YELLOW, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Hannah Montanna or The Simpsons said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

If you'vIf your dad thinks you're mad for falling in love with a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.e ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and prode of it, put this in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a insane. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

I love Jasper more than Edward

If you can't wait for the New Moon movie just because Jasper gets to have his big moment, copy this onto your profile.

"I like my men Tragic, Cold, and Scarred"

If you use the term "All That Jazz" just because Jazz is Jasper's nickname, copy this onto your profile.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things

This is sooo sweet!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life.
Boy: My life

-The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...-

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

If you find this cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile. Done it :p

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie. Soooo awsome

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ah Yeah!

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile. who doesn't love cookies??

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile. God yeah

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. I actually cried. . .all 4 times!

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile. I SO THINK THAT

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. IT'S THE BEST THING!

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. I'm more than addicted

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

-If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

-If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

-I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

-If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

-If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

-The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

-If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you compare people to Edward and Bella, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the hell of it copy this into your profile

If, whenever you see the name "Edward" or "Cullen" you have a screaming frenzy and faint, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that straight, gay, bi, and lesbian people are all equal and entitled to their beliefs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If Orlando Bloom said breathing was uncool, half the female population would die.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vice-versa, copy this into your profile.

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. XD hehe.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it that everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Insanity is perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there.

A good friend would come and bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting there beside you saying, "Man that was fun!"

If you have every tripped on a flat surface (you have skill), copy and paste thos into your profile.

If you have ever written something then later regretted it copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, The Misadventures of Miyako, AkUrO HaChIrObEi, RandomChara,TonksCullen,

95 percent of teen & pre-teen girls would have a nervous breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a tower, ready to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're part of the 5 percent of people yelling "Jump, Bitch!"

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. Because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

I'M A SMIDIOT (smart-idiot) AND PROUD OF IT! If you are a smidiot, paste this on your profile.

If you go crazy every time you get another comment, copy and paste this.

If you've ever fallen backwards in your chair, copy and paste this.

If you wish that people would just grow up and stop being racist, copy and paste this.

If you want to be the type of girl that makes the devil go "oh crap, she's up!" when your feet hit the floor in the morning, copy and paste this.

If you're obsessed with a character so much that you have dreams about meeting or fighting them, copy and paste this.

If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this.

If you hate it when those pretty sissy girls get all the attention and the tough girls are ignored then copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If everything around you brings some kind of reminder of Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you think Stephenie Meyer should continue Midnight Sun, copy this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person who doesn't give a shit about brand name clothing, copy this to your profile.

If you are a Twilight crazed fangirl and proud of it, copy this to your profile.

If you love Twilight copy this pledge:

I , TonksCullen hear by solemly swear to forever keep Twilight in my mind.If I,TonksCullen ever betray Twilight in this lifetime. I will read Twilight 20 times and come back one year from now and recite the book word for word perfectly in a PM and yes no copying word for word from the book. I will also honor the Great Author: Stephenie Meyer!! So Help me Edward!

One more thing PLEASE review my stories or send me messages cuz it makes me feel wanted...and if you don't i'll stop writing but more the wanted bit XD

another thing i LOVE COPY AND PASTE THINGOS SO I WILL HAVE A LOT OF THEM HERE!!

If you are a proud stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, put this in your profile.

If your greatest wish is to be Bella Swan, put this in your profile.

you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

"A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."-Unknown

"You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs" :

If you have had a ‘Blonde Moment’ copy this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile.

DID YOU KNOW...
kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH Wish Your wish has just been received.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you’ve had that happen to you, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have read a moronic story, enjoyed it, and ran off to write your own, copy this and put it in your profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of icecream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

if you are or have ever been in love with a fictional character copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley bored, Gem W, Bara- Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Carzy Billie Joe loving freak, shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/ fairy to be, The Gypsy- Pirate Queen, MCR Rocks, Andrew Laplante, Twilight's October Sky, LittleGothGirl13. KagomeMiko92, apparox148, the-purple-fuzzle, Tinatheturtle, doubletime twins, azzDOGG,Mrs Emacular,TonksCullen,

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.

Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word.

Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style.

Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names.

Crazy is when you shout at random people on the streat"THAT EVIL,PURPLE,GREEN POLKA-DOTTED MONKEY STOLE AND ATE MY TACO AGAIN!!"

Crazy is when you tell your teacher that the reason you're failing her class is because her hair is distracting you.

Crazy is when you go onto a busy street and shout "I like bananna flavoured".

Crazy is when you run upto a guy who looks, from the back, like Rob Pattinson and kiss him on the cheek.

Crazy is when someone says there 'team Jacob' and you run around the school field screaming in horror "GET THIS SHITTY DOG STENCH OFF OF MEEEEEEE".

Crazy is when you print of '79 things to do in an elevator' (a twilight fanfic) and do them!.

Crazy is when you run into a door and then throw a tanrum about why someone would put a door in a doorway.Daily.

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever gone into a laughing fit for no reason, copy this onto your profile


Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

--Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

--Jaspar Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

--Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, put this in your profile.

--If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

--You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

--I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

--Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes


I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.

I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass

I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd

I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.

I'm a CANADIAN, so I MUST live in an igloo.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems


One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"

Keep staring I might do a trick.

All things considered, insanity be the only reasonable alternative.'s

-Let flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.

-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.

-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-I'm not short I'm fun sized.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded


A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy:Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.


What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignore's you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world

Let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"


Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Eternity by LisaLovesCurry reviews
Here's a series of Carlisle/Esme one-shots about their years as a couple, as parents, and as individuals. Some fluff, some angst, and lots of stories from various points of view. Hope you enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 300 - Words: 530,854 - Reviews: 4091 - Favs: 625 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 2/15/2014 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Silent Mistakes by GCatsPjs reviews
206 Bones, 206 Chapters, 250,000 Words. The End.
Bones - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 206 - Words: 238,842 - Reviews: 4843 - Favs: 598 - Follows: 521 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010 - T. Brennan, S. Booth - Complete
Random Twilight Talk by Reading while in a Food Coma reviews
Am making fun of twilight in my own special way.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,340 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/10/2010 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Edward, Emmett
Random Kisses by TLN reviews
A series of one-shots I felt like starting yesterday, after a discussion on FF spoiler thread and in relation with a recent tweet by SN... I'll update each time there will be random kisses to be given! Now COMPLETE!
Bones - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,150 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - T. Brennan, S. Booth - Complete
Jasper and Emmett's Offical Cullen Annoyance Guide by El Leon Y La Oveja reviews
When you don't eat or sleep, it leaves you a lot of spare time. Some vampires study, some compose music and Jasper and Emmett annoy their family. Manipulating the emotions of others can be used for fun too... RATED M FOR SOME SEXUAL HUMOUR
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,173 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Twilight Notes! by lupiNsirius3838 reviews
HAHAHA...nine reviews and 8 of them loved it. READREADREAD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Edward, Jasper
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2129 - Favs: 3,540 - Follows: 1,645 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 33,338 - Reviews: 1792 - Favs: 1,025 - Follows: 497 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
101 Ways to Know You're Obsessed with Twilight! by beachxbabe127 reviews
A list of 101 ways to see if you're really obsessed with Twilight! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8375 - Favs: 7,511 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Firsts by Alice laughed reviews
Esme learns that firsts don't always happen in chronological order. Rated for lemon. Happy Valentine's Day.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,686 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 43 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Complete
The Computer Lab by BronzeStorm reviews
Carlisle and Esme are called into the school, but why? Who got in trouble this time and what does it have to do with the computer lab?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,712 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Complete
How To Get Kicked Out Of WalMart reviews
Set post B/D. Cullen Kids having some 'harmless' fun in the local Wal*Mart while Carlisle Esme are away.What could POSSIBLY go wrong? Rated T just in case. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,338 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Emmett