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Author has written 14 stories for Teen Titans, Avatar: Last Airbender, X-Men: Evolution, and Harry Potter.
About Me: First, I've deleted a few stories, sorry about that but the point of fanfiction is to have fun and those stories weren't fun anymore. Second, my name used to be Shadowfox.Snowblitz. Otherwise, I'll read almost any fandom I have an okay grasp of. I write about one out of every hundred story ideas I get, even the ones I really want to write, that's because I'm really horrible at updating. My favorite pairing ever is Kid Flash/Jinx from Teen Titans, bad grammar bugs me to no end. My specialities are: finding and fixing plot holes and understanding different personalities really well. I read constantly, probably the main reason I'm good at writing. Other than that, in real life I'm female, a complete teacher's pet and not afraid to admit it, good at academics and art, bad at sports. I'm American and ashamed to admit it, we are not doing very well on any front. That's probably a lot more than you technically need to know about me, so the rest of my profile is taken up by quotes.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
"Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed."
"I used all my sick days, so I called in dead."
"Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate."
"No, I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me!"
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!"
"When life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?"
Know thine enemy. That way you can yell "happy birthday!" in battle and surprise them.
The queen is never late. Which is why it's a good thing I'm not the queen.
"Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to."
"I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept."
"I'd like to be a procrastinator, but I just can't get started."
"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide."
"I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone."
A good reporter reports things no one else knew about you. A great reporter reports things you didn't know about you.
“Step one: Tell the truth.
Step Two: Run.”
"When I get a little money, I buy books, and, if there is any left, I buy food and clothes." -Erasmus
Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.
"Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!"
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."
"Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive."
"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."
"Why be difficult, when with just a little bit more effort, you can be impossible?"
“Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon."
"I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly."
"Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now."
"Welcome to the internet, pants optional."
"Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again."
"Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself."
"History doesn't repeat itself. It yells, 'Didn't you hear what I just said?!' and lets the hammer fly."
"His tracking device must be on a speedboat. Unless, of course, he can swim sixty miles an hour."
“Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window...”
“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity"
"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway"
“Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?”
“At the drive-thru, when they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.”
"There is a fine line between insanity and stupidity. Feel free to cross it!"
"I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold."
“Ignorance is having to squish the same spider 3 times before realizing that something is wrong.”
“Fu, Bu, and Chu immigrated to the USA from China. They decided to become American citizens, and ‘Americanize’ their names.
"People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers."
"If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up."
"Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear, thank you very much."
"Please: Don't throw your cigarette butts on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer."
"If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?"
"When in doubt, make up words!"
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!"
"When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide."
"A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work."
"Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!"
You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time to inject them with sodium pentothal. -Anonymous
A man gazing on the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles on the road. -Alexander Smith
Anathema disapproved of liquor in general but approved of it in her specific case. -Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that? -M. Clark
Practical politics consists of ignoring facts. -Henry Brooks Adams
Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum. - Screw you and the horse you rode in on. -Anonymous
If I had all the money I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink. -Stanshall Vivian
Maturity is knowing that just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean he's a horse's ass. -Harry S Truman
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. -Dorothy Parker
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -Mark Twain
Aziraphale patted Crowley on the back. "We seem to have survived," he said. "Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent." -Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman Good Omens
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. -Mother Teresa of Calcutta
People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't. -Joss Whedon
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. -Mark Twain
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats - approximately 1.5 billion Chinese couldn't care less. -Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom
On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms. -Douglas Adams
Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another. -Doctor Who
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger have handled this?" -Brady's First Law of Problem Solving
I take a simple view of living. It is keep your eyes open and get on with it. -Sir Laurence Olivier
Committee -- a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -Fred Allen
Question: Why does God allow evil in the world?
To thicken the plot. -Sri Ramakrishna
If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. -Leo C. Rosten
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. -George S. Patton
Among life's perpetually charming questions is whether the truly evil do more harm than the self-righteous and wrong. -Jon Margolis
The willing, Destiny guides them; the unwilling, Destiny drags them. -Seneca the Younger
You're free to do what I tell you to do.
I have PMS and superpowers. Now, what were you saying?
The person who smiles when things have gone wrong has usually found someone to blame it on.
Love your enemies. It confuses them.
Science is a cruel religion.
There are a lot of problems with real life. The main one is there's no background music.
Curiousity killed the cat, and staring will kill you.
--There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train.
Say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.
You're my friend. Probably for life. You know too much.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
A good friend will say, "If you fall, I'll help you up." A best friend will say, "If you fall, I'm going to laugh so hard."
Behind every great man you'll find a woman.
A good friend will call you on your birthday and wish you the best. A best friend will call and say, "You will die in seven days."
--Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
--Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
A friend's love say: "If you need anything, I'll be there." True loves say: "You'll never need anything; I'll be there."
If practice makes perfect and no one's perfect, why practice?
I called your brother gay and he hit me with his purse!
I'm nobody. Nobody's perfect; therefore, I'm perfect.
The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.
Saw it. Wanted it. Threw a fit. Got it.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.
A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until she's in hot water.
You remind me of my husband execpt you're not buried in the backyard.
That's "Queen Bitch" to you.
Why is it that when you hear something you're not supposed to, it's 'overhearing', but when you miss something you should have seen, it's 'overlooking'?
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."- Oscar Wilde
"Some are born great; some achieve greatness; and others hire public relations officers." -unknown
"The mind is like an umbrella; it functions best when open." - unknown
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Mythbusters
The Egyptians believed that cats were gods. The cats never forgot it.
"Why do we say we know something like the back of our hands? Can you really tell me what the back of your hand looks like?" -I can't remember.
--"I'm not sure if that's funny or really scary." -Calvin and Hobbes
"I too often see people killing catepillars and then complaining there are not enough butterflies."- Unknown
"That would have been a lot more profound without the hat." -Raven
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." -Unknown
"Everyone has multiple personalities. Some people just don't name them." -unknown
Bush- "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
Bush- "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
Bush- "I am confident in the abilities of the human and the goldfish to co-exist peacefully."
Bush- "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
Bush- "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
Bush- "I promise that I will listen very carefully to what was said here, although I wasn't here."
Bush- "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
Bush- "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Bush- "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
Bush- "Not finding weapons of mass destruction was a significant disappointment."
Bush- "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is "to be prepared"."
Bush- "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
Bush- "We have a firm commitment to NATO; we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe; we are a part of Europe."
"It’s never too early to hex something into oblivion. Eat the waffles and kill the boy!" - Re-Ane "Life on the Offbeat"
"I don't need your help in determining that I'm insane, I've embraced it quite nicely on my own." -Wingless Angel
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."- Will Rogers
"There are two theories when arguing with women. Neither one works."- Will Rogers
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."- Herm Albright
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."- Harry S. Truman
--"The optomist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."- James Branch Cabell
"You can always trust the Americans. In the end they do the right thing. After they have eliminated all other possibilies." Winston Churchill
"A common mistake that people make trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."- Douglas Adams
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."- Douglas Adams
If life hands you lemons, make grape juice and watch as the world wonders how you did it.
Stop Global Whining!
Sarcasm is just another free service we offer.
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
The word "politics" is derived from the word "poli", meaning "many", and "tics", meaning "small, blood-sucking parasites".
You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!
Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?
Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away from him and you've got his shoes!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Screw the rules! I have money!
Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherit the Earth!
I'm not suffering from insanity...I'm enjoying every minute of it!
We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.
They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
--Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
Einstein: The only thing standing in the path of my learning is my education.
Internet forum guy #1: I predicted Adam was gonna score with Eve!
Murphy: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Anything that can't go wrong will go wrong. And anything that is going wrong will continue to go wrong until you stop doing whatever it is that's going wrong.
Paris Hilton: Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?
Unknown: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, as long as you aim carefully.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
There are easier things to do in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will eventually kill me.
Drive like you stole it!
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong.
I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Life isn't passing me by! It's trying to run me over!
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
I didn't escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Never knock on death's door. Ring the door bell and run like heck. He hates it.
Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
It's not PMS...it's you.
I know who I am...your approval really isn't needed.
Normal people worry me.
And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.
There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.
Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.
I do not have an attitude problem! I have an attitude, but I can't find a problem with it.
I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.
I don't need your attitude, I have my own.
I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.
You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.
Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"
Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me.
That which does not kill me had better run pretty fast!
If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Someday we'll look back on all this and crash the car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Eagles may soar, but wolves don't get sucked up into jet engines.
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.-
The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.
Due to Economic Recession the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice. We're sorry for any inconvenience caused. Thank you.
I am being driven insane. And I must say the scenery is nice.
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
"Pardon me while I find a container for my joy."-Debbie of the Wild Thornberrys
"Of course, you realize this means war."-Bugs Bunny
"You can't make people love you, but you can stalk them until they give in." -Scoop by Rene Gutteridge
If you don't think, you shouldn't talk...Now start at the beginning and when you get to the end, stop.-The Mad Hatter & the March Hare
Well, everyone here is a little mad. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not all there myself.-The Cheshire Cat
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
I ran with scissors, and lived!
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
A day without sunshine is like...night.
A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. - unknown
"Forget love- I'd rather fall in chocolate."-unknown
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
Gone crazy. Back soon.
I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.
If a man says something in the woods and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Kids in the front seats cause accidents. Accidents in the back seats cause kids.
Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.
What if the hokey pokey IS what it's all about?
Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!
One by one, the penguins steal my sanity.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
We're born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
There are 3 types of people in this world - people who can count and people who can't.
There are 10 types of people in this world - people who can read binary and people who can't.
There are 2 types of people in this world - people who can follow a sentence to a logical conclusion and can I offer you a cup of tea?
Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat them, beat them', because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise!
If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun. - unknown
"If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
"Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies."- Willy Wonka
(\ _ /)
Controversial Quotes From Here On Out:
God is not good, he's lacking an O.
God made us in his image, and he loves us all. Including homosexuals.
God is coming and is she pissed!
God -- Don't make me come down there!
If God is willing to prevent evil, but unable, He is not omnipotent. If he is unwilling, but able, he is malevolent. If he is able and willing, whence cometh the evil? If he is neither able nor willing, why call him God?
God was my copilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
The Democrat thinks the glass is half full, the Republican thinks the glass is THEIRS.
"Only when the last fish has been caught and the last river has been polluted and the last tree has fallen will we realize that we can't eat money."- Cree proverb
God, huh? My imaginary friend's name is Bobo.
A town floods, and a good, but unfortunately wheelchair-bound Christian is stuck in the church. A car comes by while the water is still low. "Come on, let's get you out of here." Says the driver, as most of the rest of the town has evacuated. The Christian shakes his head and says, "No thanks, God will save me." The driver shakes his head and moves on. The water rises, and a bit later, a boat comes by. "Come on, let's get you out of here." The driver says, looking a bit strangely at the man for still being there at all. The Christian shakes his head and says, "No thanks, God will save me." The driver shakes her head and moves on. The water rises again, and a plane comes by. "Come on, let's get you out of here." The driver says. "No thanks, God will save me." The Christian says again. The driver shakes his head and moves on.
The Christian drowns, and once in Heaven, he asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" God says, "What are you talking about? I sent a truck, a boat, and a plane!"
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Calls your parents "Mrs." and "Mr."
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
FRIENDS: Give you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker!"
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
25 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart
1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf
Really Dumb Store labels:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
All the different lines Minerva McGonagall has made students write:
"If Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout ‘TO THE BAT MOBILE!’"
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine.
· If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Only in America: And yes, I'm American. My country is stupid.
1. A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
26. My mother taught me THE LOVE OF GOD.
5 Reasons Not to Mess with...small children
1: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
2: A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
3: A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
4: The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
5: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
REMEMBER WHEN ..
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